Archive of Our Own ^beta

Minho is laying down on his bed trying to send messages on bubble, he only managed to send a “hai hai” before Jisung started distracting him with his whining, and now he doesn’t even remember what he was planning on sending. He could block Jisung from his view by positioning his phone like so and bending his knees higher, so he did. But there is no way to block the noises he’s making. He was going to ask stays a question, but he doesn’t have the brainpower to work with while Jisung is like this right in front of him. He only manages to send a safe “have you eaten yet?” before he drops his phone.

“Jisung!” He calls loudly enough that Jisung actually stops making unhappy noises against the covers, noises that Minho did not need to be hearing while he was spread out on his bed. While squirming. With his ass up in the air. “Can you suffer somewhere else? Or quietly?”

“No,” Jisung’s answer comes out muffled since he’s pressing his entire face to the bed.

Minho moves slowly and waits for the moment when Jisung has to turn his face to actually breathe, then he smacks his ass with everything he has. The loud sound it makes and the sting in his hand makes up for all Minho had to endure these past few minutes. Jisung wailing in pain makes it even sweeter. 

Everyone else from his dorm is still stuck on schedule, so there’s no one to come and check in to see if Jisung is being tortured. Minho falls on his side laughing at Jisung’s betrayed expression.

“I have no one else to go to and you send me away, then you hit me. Have mercy, hyung,” Jisung pouts and he’s exaggerating, but Minho can see that he’s actually upset. 

Not at him, he has been upset since he and Jeongin were recorded arguing while they were waiting during schedule this morning. He was sulking the entire time during lunch and now he’s here, still looking unhappy even if he’s theatrical about it, and it’s not hard for Minho to connect the dots.

“I still don’t understand why you got so mad at him.”

Jisung makes a real offended face now, he sits up and throws his arms wide, “it happened! It actually happened and he makes me sound like an insane person, like I’m making everything up every time!”

Minho tries to calm him down by being gentle when he asks, “but that was so long ago, why does it matter?” Why do you keep bringing it up? He wants to ask, but Jisung looks upset not only in the I’m angry kind of way, but also like he’s actually feeling hurt about the whole thing, and Minho still doesn’t get why.

“Because it happened!” Jisung takes a deep breath, he avoids Minho's eyes and runs his hands through his hair. He seems to have calmed down a bit when he speaks again, “and because that was my first, well, actually, my only kiss.”

And that can’t be right.

Jisung is not looking at him so he probably misses the way Minho’s face is frozen in shock. 

“What?” Minho asks like he lost track of the conversation.

“What?” Jisung asks like he needs to defend himself, looking up at him suddenly, lifting his chin as if Minho’s mocking him.

They just stare at each other for a while before Jisung throws his hands up and seems to explode in a mix of embarrassment and frustration, “who would I even kiss??”

“Anyone you want to,” Minho promptly answers because his brain to mouth filter is broken and Jisung starts laughing and–well, fuck. He absolutely did not mean it as a joke. He didn't even mean to say it at all, it just came out because he's still stunned by the fact that Jisung has never kissed before. 

The fact that Jisung has never been properly kissed by anyone.

Something in Minho's face must give away the fact that he meant it, because when Jisung stops laughing and finally looks at Minho, he does a double take and goes through a face journey before asking.

“Wait, you’re serious?”

“Yeah,” Minho answers weakly and Jisung's eyes get enormous like they do when he’s genuinely caught by surprise.

Jisung laughs some more, but he doesn’t seem to think it’s a joke anymore, he sounds floored as he asks between giggles, “in what world do you live in, hyung?”

“In the real world,” Minho frowns, “where you’re an idol. Where you’re incredibly talented and charismatic and loved by thousands of fans. Where you have the looks to be an idol.”

Now Jisung looks even more exasperated and embarrassed, to the point where it seems like he loses motor control of his limbs, his hands just move randomly in the air then cover his face for half a second before they’re up in the air again. And Minho normally enjoys when he gets like that, enjoys riling him up to the point where he gets like that, then drinks it up like it’s the best thing he can see. Because it is, it literally gives him energy to live. But this time he’s actually so confused that he can’t enjoy it half as much

“Okay… Okay, yeah, exactly. I'm an idol, where would I find the time? Who would I do it with?”

And Minho opens his mouth to give him the obvious answer. Other Idols. But saying that would give too much away, so he answers the other question instead.

“You do have the time. Sometimes. But you always spend it in your room, inside.”

Jisung goes quiet at that. Then he narrows his eyes at Minho.

“Wait, you. Do you go out to kiss people?” He asks like he’s accusing Minho of committing a crime, and Minho goes out to do a lot more than kissing other people, he has a few people that he can regularly call to do it, actually. He has done it with people he doesn’t even remember the names of anymore. And people Jisung knows as well.

And that shouldn’t feel like a crime. 

His silence is answer enough because Jisung's eyes get huge again and he says, “hyung?” in a small voice.

“This conversation is not about me,” Minho rushes to say and his brain is running, because it dawns on him that Jisung is a virgin. Jisung has not kissed anyone, ever. The most Jisung has ever done is a peck between friends almost a decade ago. Jisung, who constantly makes Minho lose his entire mind with how much he seems to tease him in the most effective ways, seems to always press at Minho's weak spots, even when he doesn’t seem to be aware of it. Jisung, who looks so delicious that he’s made Minho call one of his friends to get some, get any relief he can, more times than he can count in one hand alone. Jisung is completely serious about this, and Minho cannot comprehend. “Wait, do you not, like, want to… kiss and. Stuff?” Minho asks, and it comes out all stilted because they never talk about this, hence why Minho didn’t know.

Jisung’s eyebrows go up to his hairline, “of course I do,” he answers way too loudly.

“Ah,” Minho blinks a few times then asks, “then why don't you?”

“I just said!” Jisung sits up straighter like he’s getting ready to say something important, “and you do? I mean, how? When? Who?”

Minho blinks at him a few times before answering carefully.

“There are ways. If you are careful, and,” he can’t believe that they’ve never talked about this before, but they haven’t. Minho is not exactly the most open person ever, especially about his sexuality and sex life, but he doesn't make much of an effort to hide it from his friends. Except that Jisung never gave him an opening to talk about it either. He gets why now. ”I would have to be careful even if I wasn't an idol.”

He finishes and Jisung, his smart Jisung, seems to get it immediately.

“Oh,” he says, “yeah, um, the fuck, we never talked about this, huh?” Jisung seems to reach the same conclusion as him, and that makes Minho’s shoulders drop, he didn’t even realize he was tense before, ”umm, me too, I guess.”

”You guess?” Minho raises an eyebrow at him.

“Both,” Jisung clarifies hurriedly, “I’m pretty sure I'm into both.”

Minho lets that fact sink in.

“Well, then you really could get anyone you wanted, Jisung-ah, you've got double the options.”

“What the fuck?” Jisung groans and throws himself face first into the mattress just like he was before this conversation started, and Minho tries very hard to not have a very physical reaction to the sounds he's making and the position he put himself in, this time he’s folded in on himself, knees under his chest and ass up and Minho wants–

“That's not what being bi means, hyung-ah,” Jisung flops to his side, front turned to Minho. He watches his own fingers fumbling with the covers and says, “and, anyway, I don't think I can, like…”

“Jisungie,” Minho says in a soft voice because Jisung is so, so soft like this, “can't what?” 

“Just, it's hard,” he turns to lay on his back and starts speaking towards the ceiling, his cheeks are slightly pink and Minho melts, ”I mean, let's say, hypothetically, that I notice that someone I met on schedule or whatever is interested in me. And they would be discreet enough for it to be safe. Or safe enough. Well, how do I go about telling them that, hey, I noticed you looking at me like you want to take me to your bedroom and eat me alive, and I would very much like to be eaten, but, sorry, I wouldn’t know what to do in the bedroom because I’ve never even kissed anyone, unless you count the time I gave a peck to my very, very platonic friend a decade ago even though he still denies it ever happened to this day, the asshole. And also,” he hurries to add as if Minho was interrupting him, ”that's also if I can ever manage to come up and talk to them in the first place, how do you even begin to communicate that you want...” 

Minho has stopped breathing since Jisung said he wants to be eaten. He watches as Jisung's blush spreads from his neck up, up to his ears, watches as his cheeks go from pink to red as he fumbles to find the words.

“To be eaten?” Minho finishes for him.

Jisung covers his entire face with his hands before nodding.

“You don't need to say it,” Minho manages to speak once he recovered enough, “at least not at the beginning, you just sort of, signal. I thought you were really good at that, actually.” Jisung peeks through his fingers to look at him, “nonverbal communication and all that.” Minho finishes with a smile. 

Jisung just keeps staring at him through his fingers like he grew a second head. 

“Okay, but I see your point,” Minho concedes, he has seen other people look at Jisung like they want to eat him, he knows Jisung notices it too, but he can’t imagine Jisung coming up to someone he doesn’t know and–yeah, he can’t. And he’s secretly relieved, because every time it happens he burns with something ugly inside him. The last time it had been a very handsome guy from a magazine they interviewed for, he was helping with production and Minho couldn't help but keep his arms around Jisung the entire time he was there. That had scared him off by the end of filming. And Jisung didn't complain. But he should put that thing inside him aside for now, because Jisung is asking for his help. Sort of. In his own way, he thinks. They’re not used to explicitly asking each other for advice like that. 

And maybe not saying what is obvious to Minho, and maybe not at all obvious to Jisung, would be selfish. He doesn’t want to preserve himself if Jisung is like this. So he decides to go there, “but what about people you already know? People that you feel comfortable with?” 

Jisung makes a sound in his throat that could be interpreted as what?

”Yonbok would kiss you,” Minho half teases him and Jisung shrieks like he’s scandalized.

After they both stop giggling Minho says, “I’m actually serious.”

Jisung sighs and drops his hands to his sides, “I don't see myself kissing Yongbok, and you, I…” Minho watches his throat move as he swallows. “We're as close as it gets and it still took me this long to have this conversation. I don't know…” he finishes defeated. 

And Minho could be wrong, but–

“Do you,” he starts, then stops, because if he offers this, then there's no turning back, no pretending he doesn't want him. He won't know how much he does, and if Jisung does want, just for this, then– 

He looks at Jisung and he's looking at him already, he looks anxious, frozen like he's holding his breath, so Minho takes the plunge.

“Do you want to kiss me?” he asks, then adds hurriedly when it gets too heavy, when Jisung lets out all the air in his lungs like he's been slapped, “to see what it's like? Or maybe to practice?” and when Jisung still doesn't answer he keeps on going, “I definitely know how to, but it's fine if you can't see it, like with Yongb–”

“Yes.” Jisung cuts him off, very abruptly. And doesn’t elaborate. So Minho blinks at him and asks.

“Yes to kissing, or yes to not wanting to?”

“Yes,” Jisung says again and sits up. He looks lost and small, just sitting on his knees in the middle of the bed, “I mean, no, I, I do want to. If you do.” 

“Okay,” Minho says, ignores how hard his heart is beating and starts moving towards him.

Jisung shrieks, “what, wait, now?”

Minho stops midway to him, stays still in an awkward position with his arm supporting his weight on the bed.

“Yes?” he asks as he sits properly, they’re closer now, not close enough to kiss, but Minho feels like his body should be shaking with how much he wants this. “Do you want to schedule a kiss?” He’s just running his mouth to get rid of his own tension, but when Jisung seems to relax a bit, he adds, “want me to call our manager and ask him to fit in our schedule?”

Jisung laughs at him, his genuine laugh that makes his heart squeeze tight every time, and Minho can’t help but smile back like he’s down bad. And he is.

“Actually,” Jisung starts once he calms down, ”I wanted to schedule a time in the practice room, it's more appropriate, you know.”

Miho snorts and they start laughing again. When their giggles die down, he whines, “Jisungie, lets try it now, just to see if you like it.”

Jisung breathes in shakily and Minho waits. Maybe he seems too eager, maybe it’s obvious how much he wants to kiss him. Wants him. Maybe he’s been obvious all along. And he can’t think of any reason not to be.

“Okay.” Jisung looks up at Minho, “show me how, hyung.”

And that sets something off inside him that he should not be feeling right now, not if he wants to keep his composure and actually, properly show him how. How to kiss. 

And the weight of it crashes on him. He's going to be Jisung’s first kiss. He’s going to show him how good it can be and he is the person Minho has thought about kissing the most, has wanted to kiss the most in his life, and he's burning up inside with how much he wants this, how much he wants to devour Jisung. He tries to tame it down as he says, “okay.”

Then he moves. This time Jisung doesn’t shriek. He gasps softly, but doesn’t move away as Minho gets closer to him, close enough to kiss.

Minho doesn’t lean in yet, he savours the way he can see Jisung swallowing hard, the way he is looking at him, like he wants. 

He lets his eyes travel down, he takes in the way his chest rises rapidly in his thin white shirt, keeps looking down until he sees that Jisung’s hands are fisted on top of his own thighs, holding onto the fabric of his sweatpants. Minho puts his hands on top of his, he fits his fingers between his palms and slowly untangles him. When he feels Jisungs hands are relaxed enough on his own, he rubs at his knuckles with his thumb and says.

“Jisungie, relax,” Jisung takes a deep breath, “it’s just me,” Minho looks up again, smiles at him and he smiles back, “hyung will take care of you,” he goes for the cheesy tone and it seems to work because Jisung chuckles, but now he’s looking at Minho’s mouth and fuck, he obviously wants this. Jisung wants Minho to kiss him. And if Minho knew about that sooner then–

Minho releases Jisung's hands and moves to his wrists, holds him a bit before he moves his hands up his arms, strokes up his forearm, and he can't help himself, he squeezes his biceps a little under his shirt and Jisung's smile turns smug.

"You like it?" he says in a joking tone and flexes under Minho's palm.

"Yeah," he answers, tone heavy and completely serious, he can't hide how much he wants Jisung anymore, and he realizes that he doesn't want to, because if Jisung wants to kiss him now, then there's no reason to. And knowing will make everything feel even better for Jisung.

Jisung sighs at Minho's answer and it doesn't seem intentional, it's like he bit off whatever sound was going to come out of his mouth, and Minho can't wait anymore. He wanted to drag this out, was planning on savouring the almost moment more, on showing Jisung how good the tension can feel. But they could be kissing, he could be kissing Jisung, his favorite Jisung, bare face, puffy hair, worn clothes, his Jisung, looking so soft and so biteable and looking like he wants him back. 

He was planning on dragging this out more, but this is as far as he can go. 

Somehow he still manages to move one hand to his neck, manages to trace the line of his jaw with his thumb, tilt his face to the side as he leans closer, manages to feel the puff of Jisung's breath leaving his parted lips against his own before he kisses him.

Jisung gaps against his mouth, and Minho kisses him.

His lips are soft and warm against his own, Minho moves his lips and Jisung whimpers, he begins to kiss back but he's too eager, way to eager, so Minho parts, uses his hand on his neck to stop him from following him as he moves away just enough to whisper right against his lips, "slow, go slow at first, Jisungie."

A soft “ah” escapes Jisungs lips before Minho moves back in, then they're kissing again. 

Minho just told him to go slow, but he can't help but press harder this time, move a bit faster, and just like that something clicks and the kiss gets good, really good.

He feels Jisung starts breathing hard against him, his hands find Minho's shirt and he clings to it, holding Minho close, like he would get away if he doesn't hold on tight enough.

Minho makes an appreciative hum against the kiss to show him that he's doing good, he brushes his thumb against his cheek and tries to make the kiss softer, he moves his other hand where it was still gripping his bicep, moves to his shoulder, feels up his back, then he moves down and grabs the side of Jisung's waist and holds him there like he always wanted to. The kiss quickens and even Minho is breathing faster now and he knows he's taking advantage of the situation, but he thinks he's allowed that much now. 

He didn’t even realize that his other hand was still cradling the side of Jisung’s face, he moves to the back of Jisungs neck and grips him there, not too hard, just enough to keep him where Minho wants him, and that's enough to make Jisung moan.

And it's a moan from deep in his throat, loud between them, and this time Jisung is the one to break the kiss.

"Sorry, sorry," he hurries to apologize between breaths, his eyes are shut tightly and he's panting like he had to run a marathon to get to Minho's bed and kiss him.

Minho reassures him while trying hard not to laugh, he feels like he'll explode with how happy he feels, but he doesn't want to make Jisung think he's mocking him, "It's okay, it's okay," he says while rubbing the back of his neck and Jisung whimpers, low enough that he wouldn't have caught it if they weren't so close to each other, foreheads touching and sharing the same air. "It's good, yeah? If it feels good then I want to hear it."

Jisung opens his eyes for the first time since they'd started kissing and goes cross eyed trying to look at Minho's mouth.

"Do you want to keep going?" Minho asks because he feels like he should, even though the answer is pretty obvious by the way Jisungs hands are still clinging to the front of his shirt to the point where he's probably ruining the fabric. Minho would say something about it to tease him if he wasn't this desperate to continue, if having Jisung panting against his lips didn't make him lose his mind.

"Please, keep going," Jisung manages to answer between breaths.

"Not overwhelmed? Not too much?" Minho asks, this time just because he wants to hear Jisung plead more.

"No, please, hyung," he whines and tugs at his shirt weakly and Minho is done for.

They meet in the middle and the kiss is more intense, Minho kisses him with a purpose and Jisung moans again, he pulls him by the shirt, harder this time, trying to get Minho closer to him.

Minho loses himself in the kiss and scratches the back of Jisungs neck, grabs his hair and pulls lightly, taking care to not pull too hard, only as a warning, and Jisung opens his mouth to moan into the kiss. 

Minho takes the opportunity to lick his parted lips.

Jisung moans even louder than before, he arches his back and his whole body trembles, Minho can feel him shaking with the hand still gripping Jisung’s waist and he wants to eat him whole, he feels like he could power a whole city, nothing should feel this intense and he ends up tightening his grip on his hair and pulling hard without meaning to before he catches himself.

The force is hard enough to break the kiss, Jisung gasps and his neck bends back a bit, Minho pulls away and the sight of his neck bared like that is too much. It’s so tempting to put his mouth on him, to latch his teeth onto his throat, so tempting to just mark him up and see if he’ll tremble even harder as a response.

“Good?” Minho takes the opportunity to ask, and he means it as, you good to continue? or was that okay? but it comes out in a breath, it comes out dirty, more as, does it feel good? 

And Jisung whimpers, “yes, yes, please,” and pulls Minho down by his neck.

That’s as far as Minho’s self control goes.

At the first brush of their tongues Jisung makes a noise and arches up towards Minho who’s towering over Jisung now, practically straddling his thighs, he uses his grip on Jisung’s waist to bend him back and bring him closer, Jisung is pliant against him, he lets Minho turn his head to deepen the kiss and he’s kissing back so well, he learns so quickly, his Jisung is so smart. He wants to tell him that, wants to tell him how good he is, how good he feels, but he can’t stop kissing him when he's making these little whimpering sounds constantly. Minho wants to swallow them all, wants Jisung to whimper against his mouth forever.

When Minho pulls Jisung’s hair again and fucks Jisung’s mouth with his tongue, Jisung wails loudly and his entire body locks up, he goes tense, then he pulls back suddenly.

“Wait–” He’s panting too hard to be able to speak, and so is Minho, he loosens his hold on Jisung’s neck, loosens his grip on his waist and moves back a bit, trying to give them both enough space to catch their breath.

Jisung slumps forward and buries his face on Minho’s neck. 

“Hyung-ah,” he whines against Minho’s skin, they’re both still trying to catch their breaths, Minho is also trying to recover his sanity, and Jisung sounding like that, so close to his ear, is not helping.

He gives a reassuring squeeze to his waist before asking, “what is it?”

“Is it supposed to feel like that?”

“Like what,” Minho asks, but he knows, he feels dizzy with it, feels drunk with Jisung on his arms.

“Like I’m going insane, I’m so turned on I could die,” he breathes in deeply and gives a humorless laugh before finishing, “I’m sorry. Sorry, hyung.”

“We could practice more,” Minho says the first thing that crosses his head because he really wants to keep going, but he doesn't want to overwhelm or scare Jisung away.

He hears Jisung swallowing, then he pulls away slowly, he drags his lips against Minho’s neck, against his jaw, and Minho doesn’t know if it was intentional but he still gets goosebumps, still has to suppress a groan.

“I dont think… is that really–?” Jisung starts, he pulls away and Minho barely gets a glimpse at his lips, red and swollen, looking very much like he just got kissed within an inch of his life, before Jisung is cut off by the noise of the living room door opening and people talking loudly.

They stare at each other for half a second before Jisung bolts off the bed, looks down at his own crotch and says fuck under his breath before rushing out of the room.

Minho is graced with the sight of Jisungs erection tenting his sweatpants obscenely while he runs away, and it looks equal parts incredibly hot and hilariously funny. Minho flops down on the bed laughing until he hears the bathroom door shut loudly, accompanied by the sound of the lock turning.

Then he decides to get up, still trying to catch his breath from laughing so hard, or from having his tongue down Jisungs throat, or maybe both. He ignores the voices coming from the living room, closes the door to his room, locks it, then sits at the end of his bed, puts his head on his hands and groans loudly.

He takes three deep breaths, then shoves one hand down his pants and attends to what he's been ignoring this entire time. He's hard as a rock, the tip of his cock is wet with how much precome he's been leaking throughout the entire kiss, but he doesn't even bother with it, he grasps the base of his cock and jerks himself off dry and fast, he can still feel his lips tingling from the kiss, still feels Jisungs tongue against his own, remember how red his lips looked and comes in seconds, a full body orgasm that has him shaking and muffling his moan with a hand over his mouth.

He lays back on his bed and tries to remember how to feel normal again.

Minho does not go back to normal. In fact, he really doesn’t think he’s ever been normal about Jisung, but things definitely take a turn for the worst after they’ve kissed. After Jisung sort of asked him to teach him how to kiss, then bolted from his bed, locked himself in the bathroom, then left for his dorm without talking to Minho again.

Minho gets out of his room after he recovered enough and cleaned himself, and Jisung is still there talking to Yongbok. He refuses to meet Minho's eyes, proceeds to ignore him while he's getting something to eat in the kitchen, and doesn't even knock on his door before leaving to at least say goodbye. And he doesn't see any reason to avoid him like that, it’s not like Minho doesn’t know exactly what he did while he was in the bathroom. Minho tries hard not to think about it, tries to distract himself and not think about Jisung in his arms, about Jisung's lips for the rest of the day, but he still gets annoyed that Jisung ignores him, he rarely does it and it feels especially hurtful after, well, everything. 

Only when Minho wakes up the next morning he thinks that maybe Jisung wasn't joking, that he really didn’t think it was right to get that aroused while kissing only for a few minutes, that maybe he was embarrassed by his reaction, or he didn’t think Minho signed up for getting off with him when he agreed on teaching him, and that was why he ran away.

And if that was the reason, then Jisung could not be more wrong and would have known that if he simply looked down at Minho’s crotch at any point while they were kissing.

And after he treated him differently, he doesn't want to begin to think about how the kiss might change their relationship.

There isn’t much time to think about it the next day because he’s off to schedule right after breakfast with Yongbok and Jeongin, they film their part for a shoot separately at first, it’s busy in the way that he likes, where he doesn’t have to worry about anything but moving his body the way he’s supposed to, it keeps his mind quiet until right about lunchtime when things calm down and the rest of the boys join them, including a rumpled looking Jisung who seems like he just jumped straight out of his bed to the set. Minho’s heart beats at an alarming rate at the sight of him looking like that, but he’s saved by a staff member who promptly drags him to the other room to do his makeup.

He wasn’t ready for the intensity of his reaction after last night. He’s used to having the urge to grab Jisung and pull him to his lap when he’s looking soft–or any other way, really–but he wasn’t expecting to feel so much, have it be so much of a physical thing to the point where he feels like there’s something wrong with his heart and has to do breathing exercises to calm down.

Minho doesn’t like to think about the reasons why he shouldn’t cross the line with Jisung, he just avoids it. Except for the times where he has to think about it, like the times he drinks a bit too much and Jisung’s lips look way too inviting, so he has to analyze the situation to convince himself that he shouldn't. He’s starting to think that maybe yesterday should have been one of those times where he should have thought about the line.

He’s never been entirely sure about Jisung. He doesn’t know. He doesn’t know where the line ends, and up until that point that didn't matter much. They tease each other all the time, and with time it got easier to pretend the teasing didn't mean more, he already has him in all other ways, so he has no right to want more. But he does, he knows he’s possessive and he wants more than they have, and he does get the vibe from Jisung that he might want more too, but that was all it ever was, a vibe. And there were just too many risks, involving his own career, Jisung's career, the group and their friendship to just try something and find out what Jisung wants. So he couldn’t do more to show, more than he already did. Because a vibe is all he ever got, Jisung never tried to come onto Minho, nothing beyond playful flirting, and they’ve never even touched on the subject of sex before, until, well. Until they did, then made out on Minho’s bed, which ended with Jisung promptly running away.

And he knows how to handle Jisung, they're as close as they are for a reason, he's not as fragile as he seems, but he still gets cagey sometimes. Even with Minho. And he still doesn't know how Jisung would react if he asked, hey, was that really just practice? just a lesson? because the reaction you had really says otherwise. He had no idea if he'd be able to talk about it if Jisung didn't.

Minho can feel the beginning of a headache forming so he tries to think about literally anything else. They’re mostly hanging out in the backroom, Minho’s just finished eating his lunch when Changbin comes back from makeup and finds Minho staring up at the ceiling, frowning.

“You good?” Changbin asks.

It occurs to Minho then that he doesn’t even remember if he greeted them properly when they came in, he was too stunned by Jisung just existing in the same room as him looking like–that. Which really isn't a good sign.

He needs to get his shit together

“Yeah, sorry, just didn’t sleep very well,” he answers, then rubs his face with his hands and hangs his head back against the wall with his eyes closed. He actually doesn’t feel like he slept at all even though he slept like the dead the entire night.

Changbin hums at him in a weird tone, but not weird enough to make Minho open his eyes, not until he says, “Jisung didn’t, either.”

“What?” Minho now frowns at Changbin instead of the ceiling.

“Yeah, he looked wrecked and said he only managed to sleep a bit in the morning,” Changbin says while giving him a pointed look, “maybe it’s stress." 

Minho stares at him, trying to get a read if he knows something else, knows what happened between him and Jisung, or something about Jisung that even Minho doesn't know, but when he gets nothing else from Changbin's expression or directly from his mouth, he closes his eyes and lays back again. 

It’s proof of his weird state of mind at the moment that he even says it at all, he at least tries speaking low enough that maybe no one else will hear it, “keep an eye on him for me tonight, yeah?”

Changbin sighs, “I always do, hyung,”

Then the relative peace is interrupted before Jisung even enters the room, he can be heard from the corridor singing loudly while Seungmin is screaming at him to stop, then he enters the room with all the energy he didn’t have when he arrived. 

And the sight of him on the clothes the stylists dressed him in makes Minho think that he won’t survive the day without suffering a heart attack. His hair is no longer fluffy looking, but it looks perfect on him, and he looks outright dangerous with that makeup. And of course today of all days they gave him clothes that fit him perfectly, as if the stylist wished for Minho’s death specifically. He tries not to ogle at his cinched waist, at the sheer black dress shirt and the way his chest looks in it. 

When he looks up and sees the smug smile on Jisung’s face, he feels relief washing over him because Jisung is finally looking at him, then he feels embarrassed because he knows he got caught looking at him like he wants to eat him.

He doesn’t have enough time to decide which emotion he’ll act on before Jisung starts moving towards him, then promptly sits on Minho’s lap. He sits between his spread legs, like it's his rightful seat, closing his own tightly so he can wiggle back until his butt is directly against Minho’s crotch. He gets comfortable in his lap with his back flush against Minho’s chest. 

And Minho really should push him away if he wants to keep his sanity or his dignity intact, but his arms circle around Jisung’s middle to keep him there because he is a fool.

Jisung rests his head against his shoulders and ends up practically laying down on top of him and it’s nothing out of the ordinary for them, no one around them even bats an eye, it's what they usually do. Except that now Jisung knows. There’s no way he doesn’t know what it does to him after last night. And that makes it somehow harder for Minho to control himself. 

Because Jisung knows and he's still doing it. He tries to control his breathing, tries his hardest to not react in any way to Jisung subtly and purposefully shifting his ass right on top of his dick, tries to close his legs more so it’s less intense, but Jisung doesn’t let him, leaving his legs in the middle and not budging as Minho closes his thighs harder against him.

There’s nothing he can do about it, Minho can feel himself start to get hard right against him, feels as Jisung’s breath catches as his cock twitches against his ass, and instead of backing off, or letting Minho close his legs like he’s trying to, he grinds harder, way less subtle. 

Minho tightens his arms around his waist, grabbing hard at his side just like he did last night. He whispers right against Jisung’s ear, “behave,” and Jisung jolts, like he’s been shocked, and then he's wiggling again, but this time to free himself from Minho’s arms.

Minho laughs and releases him, Jisung flies to the empty chair on the other side of the room and brings his knees up and doesn't look at him again, suddenly very interested in what Hyunjin is sketching on the table next to him.

Minho has just enough time to recover when the crew asks them to go back to filming, then he’s free for a bit. The day passes by and he feels Jisung’s eyes following his every move, he doesn’t look back as much as he wants to or he wouldn’t be able to do his actual job, but when they’re nearing the end of the afternoon and most of the filming for the day is done, he lets himself look.

They’re sitting against a wall of the set and waiting for everyone to wrap up when Jisung notices him looking, his smile is shy when he gets up from his spot and goes up to where Minho’s sitting. He extends his hands and Minho stares at it for a bit before he gives him his own hand. Jisung tries to pull him up and Minho pretends to resist at first, but it's just force of habit because he always complies with whatever Jisung asks of him in the end.

He’s completely powerless against what Jisung wants, but that stopped feeling scary years ago. 

So Jisung lifts him up, laughing at how easily Minho gives up on resisting him. His body is tense, so Minho follows his lead without asking any questions, doesn’t speak until Jisung drags him to the room they were in before, now empty, still doesn’t speak as he closes the door behind them and stands there for a second, just holding Minho’s hand in his. Then, when Minho opens his mouth to ask what they are doing there, he doesn’t have a chance to say anything at all because Jisung turns around to face Minho, lets go of his hand to grab at his arm and kisses him.

The sound of their lips smacking, loud in the otherwise silent room, rings in Minho’s ear, he’s too stunned to do anything, too shocked to react, he just stands there with his eyes open waiting for his brain to catch on. 

Jisung parts not even two seconds later, he laughs, but it sounds wrong, “I didn’t learn enough,” he says voice trembling while looking at the ground, and Minho gets it, because they always understand each other and that also stopped feeling scary years ago.

“No, you didn’t,” Minho says, then moves, he uses the grip Jisung has on his arm and pulls him closer, grabs at his hips because these pants has been driving him crazy the entire day, the leather of his belt feels cold against his hand, smooth as he holds on tightly and pulls him flush against his body, Jisung gasps and finally looks up at him and Minho kisses him.

And it’s a lot right from the start, Jisung tilts his head to the side and opens his mouth for him like he’s surrendering, like an invitation for Minho to take what he wants, so he does. He takes, Jisung is kissing him back just as hard and Minho feels a surge of pride inside him, he wants to praise him for the way he moves his lips against his, for how good the kiss feels. Jisung holds on to Minho’s arms like he’ll fall if he doesn’t, so Minho turns Jisung and pins him against the door with his body and Jisung makes a sound that goes straight to Minho’s dick like a well pointed arrow. Then they’re kissing again, Minho can’t help but be more aggressive this time, he nips at Jisung’s lower lip and he whimpers, then they’re jostled back hard. There’s an indistinct sound of confusion coming from behind the door then a very distinct, “what the fuck,” then they’re jostled again as someone tries to open the door.

They look at each other and understanding seems to dawn on them at the same time, then they’re jumping away from the door, throwing themselves into the nearest chairs as Chan walks in, almost falling to the ground with the force he used to open the door, holding onto the door handle for dear life.

Jisung is not even sitting straight in his chair yet when he starts giggling at Chan’s confused face, Minho joins him and soon there are tears rolling down their faces at how hard they’re laughing.

Minho asked Changbin to keep an eye on Jisung that night, but he ends up catching a ride back to the other dorm at the end of the schedule and just staying there even after he cooks dinner for everyone.

When everyone has gone back to bed or back to the other dorm, Minho decides to go to Jisung’s room instead of leaving. It’s not like they’ve been avoiding each other since Chan interrupted them, but having everyone around them has stopped Minho from doing anything that would be crossing the line of how they are usually like. 

There’s no line being crossed when Minho just barges in Jisung’s room unannounced, that’s pretty standard for them. Jisung doesn’t even blink as Minho throws himself on his bed, then goes under the covers to lay down by his side and join him in watching some kind of animal documentary on his phone.

It’s also not uncommon for Jisung to move Minho’s arms around as he pleases without saying anything, until he can lay in it and cuddle comfortably into Minho's side. 

Having Jisung in his arms feels right, it has always felt that way, like his body is made to accommodate him, he doesn't need to think about how to move so they fit together, they just do.

What is not normal is this tension between them, like every part of their bodies that’s touching each other is more sensitive, like every time they move, even if it's just slightly to adjust their position, is in preparation for something to happen. Minho doesn’t think he’s alone in this.

And it isn’t normal for Jisung to bury his face in Minho’s neck and deliberately plant a kiss there. 

Minho’s breath catches when he tries to breathe in, he slowly turns his head towards him and Jisung moves his lips from his neck to his jaw, leaves an open mouthed kiss there, then kisses the corner of Minho’s mouth before finally kissing his lips.

The kiss starts soft, Jisung smells like himself, like sleep, like his flower scented shampoo and Minho is overwhelmed, he embraces Jisung with the arm that’s under him and cradles his face with his other hand, cradles his cheek, caresses him with his thumb and feels his jaw moving against his palm as the kiss grows heated.

Jisung sighs against the kiss and Minho deepens it because he misses his taste, they've just kissed a few hours ago, it hasn't even been a full day since they've kissed for the first time, but Minho feels addicted already, like he needs his fix, and when Jisung opens his lips it's heavenly.

Being horizontal is so much worst, makes everything more intense, makes him want to envelop Jisung until all he can feel is him, until he can't sense anything else, he wants so much, too much, he wants to turn him around and embrace him flush against him so he can't move, wants to fuck into him slowly like that, wants to feel him squirm, wants to to shove his fingers in his mouth so he has something to suck on, wants to whisper how good he is in his ears, wants to say “you’re mine” . 

And that's why he's careful when he turns them until they're both on their side, he's still so careful when he lets his hands wander slowly, holding Jisung against him. 

Jisung grabs at his hair and melts against him, His body moves against him in a slow rhythm, pushing forward like he's trying to bury himself in Minho's body every time he breathes in, and he's whimpering again, making nonstop noises like the first time they've kissed, and Minho knows how it feels, knows he's close to the breaking point, so he slows down, stops Jisungs body from moving with a firm hand on his hips, slows their kiss and holds Jisung's face so he can control the kiss.

And all of that seems to have the opposite effect, because Jisung keens, then parts the kiss so he can bury his face against Minho's neck and hide.

"Overwhelmed?" Minho asks softly against his hair.

Jisung's panting, he nods and makes a frustrated noise, then kicks at the mattress, he is upset but Minho could die with how cute he is.

"It's okay," Minho rubs at his back and shushes him until Jisung stops making noises. “Take as long as you need, no need to rush, Jisungie,” he says and feels Jisung tense against him.

“How long did you take?” Jisung asks, against his skin, it comes out muffled, Minho only understands what he says because he's so close to his ear.

He's still way too turned on, he acts like having Jisung speaking so close to his ear didn't just make his dick twitch, he thinks for a while about what he asked, “for what?” He thinks he understands what he meant, but he wants to be sure.

“You know…" he's still hidden on Minho's neck, but his voice is clear now, "when you go out and–you don’t just kiss, do you?”

“No,” Minho answers, and he feels like he has to justify himself for some reason "It's just hook ups, they don't…" Mean anything? Means the same as–

Jisung huffs against his neck, “I'm just slow.”   

“You're not, you can take your time, I'm not in a rush,” Minho lies.

Then he catches what he says and takes in a sharp breath.

“You don't need…” Jisung extricates himself from Minho's arms and Minho feels cold, “it's not your responsibility to teach me everything, hyung.”

"What?" Minho asks.

“It doesn't have to be you just because I don't have anyone else,” Jisung finishes.

And if Minho thought he felt cold when Jisung sat up, then it's nothing compared to now, his blood runs cold and he feels fear welling up in him.

He sits up also and starts, "what? that's not–"

"Hyung, don't." Jisung cuts him off like he knows what he's going to say and he doesn't even want to hear it.

Oh, Minho thought. That maybe.

"Okay," he says like everything is okay and gets up to go. Jisung refuses to look at him, but he doesn't want to look at him either, so he just leaves like that.

They are used to talking without having to say everything, it comes naturally with people you're really close to, that's why Minho really enjoys having few very close friends, and at some point he thought practice became code for–for something more, that it could become something more. But it wasn't.

On his walk back to his dorm, Minho tries to think back on how their conversation went that made them kiss the first time, but he can't remember it clearly. Maybe he convinced Jisung to let Minho kiss him.

He didn't really know that this was a factor on why he never tried anything with Jisung before, despite really wanting to. He didn't know that this was something he was afraid of, but now it's very clear because he feels like his worst fear just came true. 

Jisung is inexperienced and he wants too much from him, things he's obviously not ready for, things he doesn't want to do with Minho, and he shouldn't have. Minho is being possessive when he’s supposed to protect him.

He feels himself start to panic and he's not even home yet, he pulls out his phone from his pocket and starts typing while he walks.

jisung, did I talk you into it?     

Jisung answers him the second he sends the message.

     what? no

     why would you think that??

     I just want to be sure     

     you didn't

Minho has a hard time getting in his building while watching the three dots showing that Jisung is typing appearing and disappearing.

     look, can we talk about this tomorrow?

Minho had just taken off his shoes and was about to call Jisung to ask why he was taking so long writing when he sent the text. Tomorrow they’ll have dance practice the entire day, they’ll be lucky to have a second to themselves, but he answers with an "Okay" and goes shower to try to wash the day away.

It's pouring when he wakes up early the next morning, he can't even take a quick nap on the way to the company, the air is too humid and the noise of the rain hitting the car ceiling way too loud, echoing inside.

The first thing he sees when he enters the practice room is Jisung sitting curled up against the wall looking grumpy. The second thing he sees is the room spinning around him as Changbin drags Minho by the elbow back to the corridor before he can get two steps inside the room.

“ You left last night and he didn’t leave his room, I found him eating in the kitchen in the middle of the night, like a goblin,” Changbin tells him under his breath and Minho would never admit it to anyone, but Changbin can look really intimidating when he wants to. “Get your shit together,” the, or else, is implied by the last look he gives him before he hauls them back to the practice room.

Jisung is just quiet throughout the day, it’s hard to know if he’s just embarrassed or angry at Minho, he’s closed up and short with everyone, and Jisung is great at setting the energy in the room, so when he’s like that it affects everyone's mood.

Plus, everyone is still tired from yesterday and they have to practice until late at night, so it’s not a pleasant day.

Minho does try to talk to Jisung during breaks, he tries to take him some place else so they can have privacy and talk, but Jisung refuses and Minho doesn’t have enough time to keep insisting. He even texts him to get his attention, but Jisung just keeps scrolling on his phone and plainly ignores him.

So it doesn’t surprise Minho when he gets short tempered by the end of the day as well, especially after he has to help Jeongin through a choreography move that he wasn't getting and he hears Jisung saying under his breath, "guess you just don't teach well." No one understands why his mood shifts after that, but no one bothers to try either. They are just too tired.

But the others do notice how something seems off between Minho and Jisung. Both of them never really fought with each other before, and they aren't outright fighting, but it seems like a close thing, like anything could set off a spark. It's palpable to other people too, Minho can tell by the way Chan and Changbin keep glancing at them and trading looks with each other every time Jisung is short with Minho, or when Minho ignores Jisung. And that just makes it worse.

Minho stays in the practice room after everyone has left, which is pretty common. When he’s leaving to go to the bathroom he hears Changbin trying to pull Jisung to go with them and Jisung arguing that he’s going to stay.

He knows that they shouldn’t talk when they’re like this, but when he leaves the stall and finds Jisung waiting for him with his arms crossed leaning against the wall, he knows it’s gonna happen anyway. 

Minho is ready to fight. He’s got pent up frustration from the entire day. And another very different kind of frustration from the last few days. Years. 

Jisung is just watching silently as Minho washes his hands.

“What?” Minho asks him when the watching becomes too much.

“Nothing,” Jisung grumbles, then he sighs and says, “come here.”

When Minho makes no move to get closer to him he stomps his foot on the ground and tries again, “c'mon, hyung, just, come here.”

Minho goes to Jisung. He stands close and he’s looming over him because of the way Jisung is slumped against the wall.

He’s ready to fight, but Jisung kisses him. He had no hopes of that ever happening again, he was only ready to fight, and Jisung kisses him.

Minho lets himself be pulled by the kiss, lets his mind go blank and kisses him back and it's easy, like muscle memory, and Jisung kisses like he wants to drown in him.

But he has to know, he'll go insane if he doesn't know, so he breaks the kiss and has to hold Jisung back by his shoulders, hold him against the wall so he doesn't follow his lips.

"Do you want this?" Minho asks because he needs to be sure.  

Jisung tries to kiss him again, tries to push Minho's hands down from his shoulders and fails to chase after him, then he says, "hyung, what do you think?" Like the answer is obvious.

Minho needs to be sure he understands the question, he wishes he was good with words like Jisung is, wishes he didn't get lost in the tangle of potential ways he could express something he felt for so long, has lived with for so many years but didn't let himself think about. He pushes Jisung harder against the wall, Jisung breath catches. Minho tries to explain, "no, not practice, this," he dives in and gives him a quick, hard, bruising kiss, before finishing, "do you really want it?"

"Are you asking me if I want you?" Jisung is staring at his lips and he sounds dazed. He takes in a breath and looks Minho in the eye and Minho can see when his eyes light up, see in his face when he decides on what to say, “did I learn well?” He asks. “Did I do good?” When Minho just blinks at him, he clarifies, “did I communicate that I want you to eat me clearly enough?”

Minho can’t help but laugh before answering, “no! I thought–no, you were avoiding me the entire day!”

“Just today! We were working! I was nervous!” He's looking into his eyes so sweetly, then something seems to click and he shifts against his grip. “Do you want me? Hyung, do you?” He pulls at Minho’s shirt with grabby hands, sounding whiny and so, so eager.

“Of course I do,” Minho says while laughing at him, so happy he could scream.

“You were so careful with me, like you were only doing this for me,” Jisung complains with a pout. 

Minho can only make an indignant sound at that. He feels like his body will float away at any moment.

“Have you been holding back?” Jisung asks while tugging him closer, “I'm not going to break, you can just–whatever you want.” Minho’s words are stuck somewhere deep inside him, Jisung is running his mouth and he seems to be enjoying himself, so Minho lets him. “Hyung, you don't need to go out, you can just have me, any time you want, is that enough?”

He sounds so sure of himself, so smug, leaning back more, tilting his head up to give him a look through his lashes, turning his neck like he's bearing himself to Minho and Minho will devour him now that he's been given permission.

Minho pins Jisung against the wall with his body, feels that Jisung is hard against his thighs already, hears his breathing picking up with little hitching breaths, he moves his legs so its between Jisungs, fits his thighs right against Jisung’s erection and looks at him to see his reaction.

Jisung is looking back with hooded eyes, mouth open. 

Minho kisses him hard. 

Jisung groans into the kiss and he's shaking, he closes his legs around Minho’s and Minho presses his thighs harder against him and Jisung keens against the pressure.

It’s frantic, Minho is taking everything he wants, and so is Jisung. His hands feel Minho up like he won't get another chance to, then he holds onto his arms like an anchor. Jisung is moving his body, trying to thrust his hips against Minho's thighs, but he can't get any leverage. Minho is pressing him too hard back against the wall and leaving no room for him to work with.

Jisung breaks the kiss to plead, "fuck, please, please," he throws his head back and keeps trying to move against Minho uselessly. 

Minho kisses his neck, sucks and bites and leaves marks like he wants to, and Jisung is loud, his moans echo through the room, if there’s still someone working on their floor there is no chance they wouldn’t hear Jisung, but he doesn't care because he’s undoing Jisung with his mouth on his neck, can’t possibly care about the possibility of someone walking in on them when Jisung is clawing at his back, scratching him desperately, still trying to work his hips against his thighs.

Minho moves closer, he wants to feel him everywhere, he pins Jisung’s body with his, his heart beats and his body moves in the same rhythm, a steady thrum of mine, mine, mine rushing through him. He relaxes his thighs, moves against Jisung’s erection, thrusts his hips against Jisungs and Jisung sizes up. He’s loud, way too loud now, Minho kisses him harder to try to muffle his noises, Jisung grabs desperately at Minho’s arms and his legs are shaking hard.

And Minho doesn’t want to stop kissing him but he wants to see him come undone, so he holds in by the hair and parts and watches Jisung’s face as he crumbles, he keeps thrusting his hips and Jisung is panting through his open mouth, eyes squeezed shut while his own hips work, giving short thrusts against Minho’s thighs with no rhythm, every movement sending shockwaves through Minho’s body. Then he stops completely, gives a low whine and Minho feels his dick pulsing against his leg, feels warmth seeping through the fabric of his pants.

Jisung’s body sags, Minho is holding him up against the wall with his own body. Minho kisses him but Jisung is too out of it to kiss him back properly, still he takes a bit more, kisses him a bit longer, kisses his cheeks, the corner of his mouth, the tip of his nose. He cradles his face and just looks at him as he blinks his eyes open.

“Hyung,” he starts, speech slurred, Minho waits for him to finish, “I think you just made me come my brains out.”

Minho drops his forehead against his shoulder and they both laugh, Minho is still so hard against Jisung’s hips, their body shaking makes his hips stutter involuntarily.

He’s not expecting when Jisung snakes a hand between them and unceremoniously shoves it inside Minho’s sweatpants. He grabs at him and Minho moans against his shoulder, can’t help thrusting into Jisung’s hand.

“You’re so hard, I can’t believe I did that,” Minho tries to laugh but a moan sobs out of his mouth when Jisung starts jerking him off properly, moving his hand faster and tighter on him.

Minho hides his face against his neck, pants against his skin, groans and comes all over Jisung’s fist on the next stroke.

“Fuck,” he hears Jisung say under his breath, then Jisung is the one to pull his face up, he kisses the corner of his mouth, his cheeks, the tip of his nose, keeps giving him tiny kisses all over his face until Minho recovers from his orgasm.

Then Minho kisses him.