Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Kim Sunghan has a crisis and not unlike previous crises in the past, it has to do with a certain Han Yoojin. 

Sunghan won’t ever claim to know Han Yoojin well. He doesn’t ever want to. But even he can recognize that something is very wrong about him when he exited the dungeon, carrying Han Yoohyun on his back. 

Perhaps that was the main reason he ordered Han Yoojin to come along. Between an F-rank and an S-rank, it should not have been the latter who was injured to the point of unconsciousness. And maybe, just maybe, Han Yoojin could be helpful for once and say what happened. 

On the drive back, Sunghan’s phone rings, and the sudden noise almost makes him lose grip on the wheel. It’s only because it’s Seok Simyeong’s number that Sunghan bothers to respond. 

“Yes?” he grits out, pushing past the speed limit and almost running a red light. It doesn’t matter if he’s caught. Haeyon can handle the PR. 

“We have a problem,” Seok Simyeong says and Sunghan snorts. 

“Tell me about it.”

“I’ll tell you when you’re here. If you’re on the road—”

“Simyeong, I’m not in the position to do anything right now,” he says as he swerves. “Han Yoohyun is injured. Alert the medics.”

And then Sunghan hangs up before Seok Simyeong can distract him further. 

It’s not long before Sunghan makes it to Haeyeon. There’s a medical team waiting as he pulls past the gates and in an instant, Sunghan is out and lifts Han Yoohyun gently from the backseat and onto a stretcher. Since he can’t answer any of their questions as to what happened, he’s stuck waiting behind. 

With Han Yoojin, who Sunghan notices, just got out of the car. 

Sunghan tries to control his anger, but it’s incredibly hard to do that when Han Yoojin is standing there, face completely blank as if nothing noteworthy happened. As if his own brother doesn’t need medical care. 

If Sunghan thinks about it more, it’s probably Han Yoojin’s fault that Han Yoohyun is in this situation. Sunghan doesn’t understand why Han Yoohyun still cares about his hyung, but the fact remains that he does, and so Han Yoojin is at best, a distraction, and at worst, a reason Han Yoohyun underperforms. 

And fighting against what was probably an L-rank monster is not the time to underperform. 

Sunghan, for a moment, is overcome with a revulsion so strong that he just wants to leave and put as much distance between him and Han Yoojin as possible. 

It’s just… it’s just not fair. Han Yoohyun has pushed himself so much and worked so hard to be able to have the power to keep an eye on his foolish hyung. And this is the most that Han Yoojin can do for him. 

A loud thump interrupts Sunghan’s thoughts and he turns to see Han Yoojin collapsed, on the ground. Immediately, a bitter sort of pity fills him. Han Yoojin is an F-rank. Maybe he tried something, but it was out of his capability. Perhaps carrying Han Yoohyun out was genuinely the most he could do. 

Sunghan lets out a sigh before pulling Han Yoojin’s limp body up and taking him to the infirmary as well. The medics just note exhaustion and prescribe bed rest. After that, Sunghan wants to take a rest of his own, but then he remembers that Seok Simyeong does want to tell him something. So instead, he heaves himself up and goes to Seok Simyeong’s office. 

“What’s the situation?” Seok Simyeong asks as he enters. 

“Han Yoohyun is stable now,” Sunghan says, keeping it simple and to the point. “What did you want to tell me about?”

“Han Yoojin recently sold his place of residence and was seen buying some rather expensive items,” Seok Simyeong says, an eye twitch betraying his annoyance. “Currently, he has no place of residence. Until Han Yoohyun is available, we should just keep him here—”

“He’s already here,” Kim Sunghan says, rubbing his face. He really hopes that this fuck up wasn’t planned, that Han Yoojin decided to go off the rails randomly, just to make things easier for everyone. “What did he buy?”

“A gatestone and several healing potions,” Seok Simyeong says. “What do you mean, he’s here?”

“He’s the one who walked out of the dungeon carrying Han Yoohyun,” Sunghan says. “He’s unconscious in the infirmary right now.” 

Seok Simyeong stares at him and Sunghan will admit that he finds it amusing, how obviously baffled Simyeong is. 

“The dungeon with the rumored L-rank?”

Sunghan nods. 

“Wasn’t that dungeon sealed off?”

“Where there’s a will, Han Yoojin apparently finds a way.”

Seok Simyeong snorts and then frowns. “Wasn’t that the dungeon he was scheduled to go into?”

Sunghan pauses. “What?”

“Han Yoohyun asked me for the information on this dungeon specifically,” Seok Simyeong says, “and he only does it with that urgency if Han Yoojin was in it or going to be in it. So I investigated, and among the members of the team that signed up for it, there is Han Yoojin.”

“So he just decides to go in anyways?” Sunghan scowls. “Was he running low on money?”

“Isn’t he always running low on money?”

Sunghan shoots Seok Simyeong a frown. “No? Did he already spend the money that Haeyeon’s given him?”

Now Seok Simyeong looks confused. “Don’t you remember? We tried to give him money for his hospital fees, when he broke his leg, but he just threw it back at us and yelled in our faces. By the time we tried to deposit it into his bank account, he switched banks and locked his account.”

“... I don’t remember that at all,” Sunghan says. “I thought that he just accepted it.”

“He didn’t.”

“Didn’t he?” 

The two of them look at each other and then Seok Simyeong waves his hand. “Whatever. There are more concerning things than how he reacted years ago.”

Sunghan still doesn’t feel satisfied, but he just tries to shrug the strange feeling off. “At any rate, he shouldn’t have been able to get inside. Security was tight.”

“Maybe he was inside before the dungeon was sealed.” Seok Simyeong continues when Sunghan doesn’t respond, “He bought the items a week ago and sold his apartment before then. The tip we got came a day afterward. It took another day to seal the dungeon and obviously, Han Yoohyun went in yesterday. Where was Han Yoojin, then?”

“If he really went missing, the Hunters assigned to him would have realized,” Sunghan points out, but even he’s feeling uneasy. 

“Check out the records,” Seok Simyeong says. “Maybe you’ll catch something I missed.” 

The records don’t say that Han Yoojin has been missing for about a week. But none contain any information on what he’s been doing, and when he asks the Hunters who were supposed to be watching him, they honestly can’t answer him. 

“How can they not know?” Sunghan complains to Seok Simyeong. 

“Maybe they’re lying.”

“I know these people. They wouldn’t.”

Seok Simyeong hums. “The guild that brought the dungeon to our attention is not powerful enough to affect Haeyeon hunters.” 

“What’s your suggestion, then?”

Seok Simyeong does not respond. 

“You think Han Yoojin was used as a canary and that the guards are just lying,” Sunghan says deadpan. “If so, why didn’t he get out earlier? He bought a gatestone, you said.”

“Maybe it wasn’t a good one, or he was injured.”

“He had no physical injuries.”

“Han Yoohyun could have healed him.”

“Then how could an F-rank last that long in the presence of an L-rank beast?”

“I don’t know,” Seok Simyeong snaps, “but isn’t this the most plausible option that actually makes some sense?”

Sunghan can’t really argue against that. So instead, he sighs and switches the subject, “What’d you do about the apartment?”

“Bought it,” Seok Simyeong grumbles. “Han Yoohyun would’ve asked for that to happen anyways.”

They’re both annoyed about this, Sunghan can tell. With that, Sunghan finally retires for the night. 

… Only to get an alert in the early hours of the morning that Han Yoojin is missing from his room. 

“And how did no one see him leave?” Sunghan asks a load of guards who are not looking at him. Then he turns to the medics, “Didn’t you say he’d be unconscious for longer?”

“He should still be unconscious,” one admits. “His body is severely exhausted and stressed, and still needs to recuperate.” 

Which is to say either Han Yoojin simply ignored all of that or someone kidnapped him. He turns back to the guards. 

“Well?”

“I went on a bathroom break,” one of them says. 

The other one who’d been stationed in front of Han Yoojin’s room looks a bit uncomfortable. 

“The young S-rank in that new guild, Hope, managed to get up here,” she says. “Everyone else here is B-rank, so I was asked to try and lead her away.” 

Kim Sunghan frowns. Members of Hope often kept to themselves, so much so that there is still uncertainty of how many members are in the guild and who is even in charge. The fact that one member was here, much less the S-rank, is unsettling. 

Sunghan likes it even less when he considers the weird shit going on with Han Yoojin now. 

“And where was everyone else?” 

“Dealing with the S-rank,” one person mumbles, “and keeping the familiar distracted.” 

That makes even less sense, if Sunghan is being honest. The familiar is some kind of a fire-aligned beast, if Sunghan recalls correctly, and the S-rank is heavily associated with ice. He always thought that the two work separately, but apparently not. 

“So which came first?”

“The beast,” is the consensus. “The S-rank followed afterward.” 

This feels more of a headache for Seok Simyeong than for Sunghan, so he decides to switch gears. He orders some hunters to go look at the security footage and then realizes, with a start, that if the guards were occupied, then that means that Han Yoohyun’s room was unguarded for that period of time. 

“We’re checking the Guild Leader’s room,” he says and the remaining guards follow him, immediately understanding what he means. 

Normally, Sunghan wouldn’t be concerned. But Yoohyun, unlike his brother, is still unconscious. And he’s injured. 

Maybe this is a plot by Hope. The guild was made five years ago, but it is still so secretive that most people don’t believe it is a guild. Korea’s S-rank count doesn’t officially include the S-rank in Hope, after all. Then again, it is hard to do that when no one knows anything about the S-rank, not even gender or name. 

Sunghan bursts into Yoohyun’s room and immediately stops. Sitting by Yoohyun’s room, on the ground and softly holding one of Yoohyun’s hands, is Han Yoojin. He still looks like shit, but now he’s just staring vacantly at Yoohyun and… are those tears? 

“Stay outside,” he says, and he can feel the reluctance of the guards. 

Quietly, Sunghan heads to Han Yoojin, but before he can put a hand on Han Yoojin’s shoulder, the man’s free arm snaps back and catches his hand in a strong grip. 

Kim Sunghan is an A-rank. He doesn’t expect for Han Yoojin to not notice anyone was in the room, but he should not have been able to detect Sunghan’s approach, much less have a strong enough grip to make Sunghan actually think twice about approaching.

Han Yoojin looks back and for a moment, there is no spark of recognition. Sunghan feels something curling in his gut, something that might be described as fear. Eventually, though, he lets go of Sunghan’s hand, the feeling dissipates, and Han Yoojin goes back to looking at Han Yoohyun. He still is holding Han Yoohyun’s hand. 

Sunghan doesn’t know how to proceed. He stares, for a few more moments, and then says, “You need to go back to your room.”

“No,” Han Yoojin says quietly. 

The defiance should make Sunghan feel better—this is the Han Yoojin he knows—but there’s something off about it. 

“There’s only one bed here.”

Han Yoojin just says nothing. 

“You’re both recovering.”

“I’m fine,” Han Yoojin says. “Yoohyun will wake up soon, too.” 

“Han Yoojin, if you do not come, I will carry you back to your room,” Sunghan says. Han Yoojin turns back to look at him, and there is such contempt in his eyes that Sunghan freezes. He’s used to Han Yoojin being angry and bitter, but this is like Han Yoojin is looking at a particularly irritating mosquito. 

Han Yoojin huffs and turns back to his brother. 

Kim Sunghan decides to leave him there. If Han Yoojin wants to get a sore ass from sitting on the hard ground, that’s up to him. 

It’s only as he turns to leave that he realizes that Han Yoojin isn’t simply holding Han Yoohyun’s hand. 

He’s feeling Han Yoohyun’s pulse. 

It doesn’t take long for Seok Simyeong and Kim Sunghan to arrange a meeting with the guild leader who organized the last mission that Han Yoojin was supposed to go on. The one he might have gone on anyways. 

The guild leader, Lim Seokwoo, taking one look at both of them and immediately recognizing exactly which guild they are from, answers quickly when Seok Simyeong poses the question. 

“We got a tip that the dungeon we were about to go into was of an unstable kind,” he says. “That it would turn into something we couldn’t handle. So we sent that message along for the S-ranks to come. None of my party went inside.”

“Han Yoojin did,” Sunghan cuts in and the guild leader looks surprised for only a moment. 

“That’s strange,” he says, “but Han Yoojin is not a part of my guild. I do not control his actions.” 

“Where did you get your tip?” Seok Simyeong asks. 

Lim Seokwoo looks vastly uncomfortable. “The person asked me not to disclose their identity—”

“It was Han Yoojin, wasn’t it?” Seok Simyeong cuts in. The guild leader does not confirm it, but he does not deny it either. Sunghan almost asks how Seok Simyeong figured it out, but then again, if Sunghan has to guess who’s at the center of all of this, he could only point to Han Yoojin. No one else made sense, even if Han Yoojin as a suspect also didn’t seem incredibly plausible. 

“I think you should tell us the whole story,” Sunghan says. 

“I think I’ve said enough,” Lim Seokwoo responds back, tightly. 

“Well, this is shaping to look badly on Han Yoojin if you don’t,” Seok Simyeong says casually. “If he has a skill that can confirm the stability of dungeons, it’s rather irresponsible of him to keep that skill hidden. He could have saved many lives.”

“You’re… here to condemn him?” Lim Seokwoo asks, sounding confused. Sunghan is too, as to why Lim Seokwoo is focusing on that aspect and not the fact that Han Yoojin’s future livelihood depends on him, theoretically. 

“We are not here to coddle him, if that is what you are asking,” Seok Simyeong replies. “What would make you think otherwise?”

“Your guild leader is Han Yoojin’s dongsaeng.”

“Have you been out of the loop?” Sunghan asks. “Han Yoohyun cut ties with him long ago.”

That, of course, is mostly a lie. Han Yoohyun always has an eye out on Han Yoojin. Lim Seokwoo doesn’t need to know that, though, and he buys it, if the way his face turns sour is any indication.  

“So if I don’t tell you,” he just says, “you’ll assume the worst?”

“What else can we assume?” Simyeong asks. 

Lim Seokwoo does not respond for a moment. Then he says, “Han Yoojin does indeed have a skill he has not disclosed to anyone. I don’t know all the details, but it allows him to, for only one time, reverse time to save a life.”

“And he did this to save your party after you went through the dungeon?” Seok Simyeong asks. 

The guild leader shakes his head. “It’s by the stipulation that he saves the life of someone he cares about.”

Kim Sunghan exchanges a glance with Seok Simyeong and then turns back to look at Lim Seokwoo, who just sighs. 

“He used the ability to save the life of his dongsaeng, Han Yoohyun.” 

The words don’t register at first. They bounce around in Sunghan’s ears, and the only reason he believes them is because he hears Seok Simyeong’s sharp intake. 

“Han Yoohyun died?”

“In that first timeline, apparently so,” Lim Seokwoo says. “I trust you don’t particularly want this information out.” 

It’s then that Sunghan realizes that Lim Seokwoo is smart. He is essentially forcing them to keep quiet on Han Yoojin’s ability. If explained, then Han Yoohyun’s past death—and Sunghan still can’t believe those words—would be exposed and that could be a weakness to Haeyeon’s image. And though Lim Seokwoo says that this ability can only be activated once, Sunghan doubts it and doubts many other people will believe it either. If Han Yoojin has used this skill before, it can undermine all the hard work that went into raising Haeyeon. 

Sunghan blinks. Has Han Yoojin used this ability before? 

Seok Simyeong is closing up the conversation somehow and Sunghan finds himself back in the car. 

“We will have to ask Han Yoojin,” Seok Simyeong says, but he too sounds unsteady. “To corroborate.” 

Sunghan agrees and feels like the world is rapidly spiraling out of control. 

Han Yoojin is still in Han Yoohyun’s room when they get back. 

“We need to talk,” Seok Simyeong says. 

“I don’t care,” Han Yoojin says bluntly. He looks a little bit better than he was before, but he still looks exhausted and apathetic. 

“We know you’re hiding an ability,” Sunghan says. 

“So?” Han Yoojin asks. “What, are you scared of what you don’t know?”

“We are trying to figure out what happened—”

“So instead of asking me like a reasonable person you just try to figure it out behind my back,” Han Yoojin snaps. 

“Then what happened?” Seok Simyeong asks. 

“There was an L-rank monster, Yoohyun killed it, I got us out with a gatestone,” Han Yoojin lists off. “Are you satisfied?”

“Why did you sell your apartment?” Seok Simyeong shoots back. 

“Why do you care?” Han Yoojin asks. “I’m quite literally a grown man. I can do whatever the fuck I want.”

“We’re trying to help you,” Sunghan says and Han Yoojin does not look impressed. To be fair, Sunghan isn’t impressed either. 

“Nothing happened that you need to worry about,” Han Yoojin says after a moment. “Yoohyun is stable and he’s getting better. An L-rank was defeated. What more do you want?”

“Answers,” Seok Simyeong says. 

Han Yoojin huffs. “You’re not going to get any from me. There’s no question to answer here.”

Try as they might, Han Yoojin won’t answer any questions. Seok Simyeong tries and then Sunghan and then the two of them. Instead, as the days go by and Han Yoohyun still doesn’t wake, Han Yoojin refuses to even entertain the idea of listening to their questions. 

“Nothing noteworthy happened,” he keeps telling them. Seok Simyeong rants about it, when Han Yoojin is out of earshot. Sunghan doesn’t blame him. 

Still, Sunghan doesn’t complain. He can’t help but think of one afternoon, when it was his turn to try and get answers out of Yoojin. He stopped before he made it to the door, because he could hear talking. He got his hopes up before he realized it was only Han Yoojin talking. 

“Ah, Yoohyun, how long are you going to spend sleeping?”

There was, of course, no response. 

“I suppose you’re catching up on all that lost sleep. Building Haeyeon wasn’t easy, I know. I’d like to sleep as you do, too, you know, but hyung has to stay awake so I know when you are awake.”

There was then a small snort. “The things hyung does for you, huh?”

The amusement quickly left. “You have to wake up, alright? Because if you don’t, I have to restart this over again and I’m very tired, Yoohyun. I’ll do it if I need to, but please don’t make me.”

Sunghan did not go to question Han Yoojin that afternoon. And afterwards, when he went with Seok Simyeong and it ended in yelling—because they kept coming to Han Yoojin and all they wanted was Han Yoohyun to wake up—when Han Yoojin almost screamed at them that nothing happened, this time, Sunghan didn’t snort or press for the truth. When Han Yoojin snarled that it didn’t matter and they didn’t need to know, Sunghan almost believed him. 

Because underneath it all, it sounded like Han Yoojin was trying to convince himself of that, more than he was trying to convince them. 

&&& 

Han Yoohyun wakes up to a warmth he hasn’t felt in years. There is someone holding his hand and his first thoughts are that he’s a child again, about to cross the road or walk through a busy crowd. Hyung always held his hand then. He didn’t want Yoohyun to get hurt or lost. 

Then he remembers that he’s not a child anymore and there’s no one around that would ever hold his hand. His eyes snap open, expecting the warmth to disappear as he does, but he can only stare. 

There, sitting by the side of his bed is Yoojin. And just like back then, he is holding Yoohyun’s hand. 

Yoojin is asleep and Yoohyun can only wonder what his brother is doing in Haeyeon. He knows he’s made several direct orders that keep Yoojin from the premises. 

Then the other questions begin to trickle in. Why is Yoojin staying in the same room as him? Why is Yoohyun in this room at all? It looks rather like an infirmary room, though considering that Yoohyun is in the bed, that implies that he was the one to get hurt. 

Yoohyun lies there for a little longer until he vaguely starts to remember details. There was a tip from some small guild that a dungeon was marked as possibly unstable. It was a dungeon that Yoojin was supposed to go into, and so Yoohyun went to clear it and make it safe. 

He had been glad he did go, because there was an L-rank monster in there. If the tip hadn’t come, then Yoojin would have gone inside and he would be d—

Yoohyun didn’t want to think about it then and doesn’t want to think of it now either. Especially since Yoojin hardly gave him the choice, though, because for some reason, he was in the dungeon.  

Past that, he doesn’t quite remember what happened next. He was tired. Yoojin was trying to help him, in a way he hadn’t in years. He shouldn’t have been helping Yoohyun, because Yoohyun was always messing with his life.  

But anything that Yoohyun blurted out didn’t seem to reach him. The only thing that did was the monster. 

Then Yoohyun was out and here he is now, in an infirmary bed, his brother unconscious on the ground next to him. 

… Yoojin really shouldn’t be on the ground. 

His entire body feels sore, but Yoohyun sits up and carefully, somehow without disentangling their hands, maneuvers the two of them until he is on the ground and Yoojin is on the bed. 

He’s about to pull his hand free, because as much as he wants to pretend that this will last, it won’t, when Yoojin’s eyes snap open and he sits up. 

Yoohyun braces himself for anger, for something, but Yoojin’s face is blank. 

It terrifies Yoohyun, so much so that he can only sit still as the hand moves from holding Yoohyun’s to cupping his face. 

“Yoohyun,” Yoojin says, tilting his head, like he’s not expecting to see Yoohyun there at all. Yoohyun can feel the trembles in Yoojin’s hand form and then worsen. “My brother. I love you.”

Yoohyun doesn’t know the sound that comes out of him then. But soon enough his face is buried in Yoojin’s shoulder, his hands grasping Yoojin’s in an attempt to keep holding onto his brother.

He thinks he’s crying. He hasn’t cried in years and he doesn’t remember if this is how it goes, but he thinks what’s wetting his cheeks and dragging gasps out of him in fits and starts might be a sob. There’s another hand rubbing Yoohyun’s back and Yoohyun knows very well that he’s missed his brother, but he never realized how much, not until now. 

Eventually, Yoohyun’s eyes drift shut, and despite the uncomfortable position, despite the fact that he’s too big and too old to come crawling to hyung for comfort, he falls asleep that way. 

It is perhaps the best rest he’s had in eight years. 

The dream does not dispel when Yoohyun wakes. Yoojin is still there, this time combing through Yoohyun’s hair to get rid of any tangles and to tame the curls. 

There’s a million things he can say to his brother. A million things he needs to say. He doesn’t know where to begin, so he doesn’t, content in just lying there in the moment. 

Eventually, he does get up. Eventually, medics come in and so do Seok Simyeong and Kim Sunghan, who update him on his situation and what has been going on. Eventually, Yoohyun dismisses them all and it’s just him and Yoojin. 

Yoojin is just watching him, and there’s still the slight wonder in his eyes that frightens Yoohyun a bit. There is also caution, like Yoohyun is some wild animal and Yoojin doesn’t know how he’ll react. 

Yoohyun doesn’t blame him. Yoohyun went from being a loving younger brother to pushing him out of his life entirely. And Yoohyun knows he should do it again. It’s kept Yoojin safe enough, even if Yoohyun has hated it and even if now is the perfect opportunity to do something different. 

But he won’t get Yoojin’s forgiveness. Not if he tries to explain and change his ways. First, because Yoohyun can’t even forgive what he’s done and second, if Yoohyun does get to keep this, that means Yoojin has to stay here.

Yoohyun doesn’t know much about his brother anymore, but he knows that Yoojin hates being controlled, being maintained. It must have been torture for him to have to stay in Haeyeon so long already. 

So Yoohyun has to push him out. But instead of saying anything that would start to sever the tie between them, he asks, “How did you take care of Lauchitas?”

“What kind of a hyung would I be if I couldn’t take care of my own little brother?” Yoojin just asks back, and it’s that same tone he’d use when they were younger, though wary, like he’s unsure Yoohyun will respond. 

And automatically, Yoohyun wants to whine that that’s not answering the question, hyung, but he’s an adult now, so he keeps his mouth shut. 

Almost. “You don’t always have to take care of me.”

“My choices are my choices,” Yoojin just says, and there’s a strain in his voice so Yoohyun doesn’t say anything else. 

Even though he really wants to bring up that there was hardly ever a choice for Yoojin. Even when he was younger, Yoohyun recognized that, though not always to the extent that he does now. 

Suddenly, Yoojin snorts. “Ah, what is this. Throw me out now, if you want. If you don’t, then keep in touch. I heard Seok Simyeong bought my apartment again.”

The words bounce around Yoohyun’s head, so that he first says, “I’m not going to throw you out,” followed by, “You sold your apartment?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Yoojin says, getting up, and Yoohyun, somehow, can’t believe that he’s actually going to leave. 

“It’s not safe.”

“Nothing’s ever safe,” Yoojin says, and then rolls his eyes. “Besides, wasn’t that my line to you when you left?”

Yoohyun doesn’t wince. He’s too used to this to do that. 

“Keep in touch, if you like,” Yoojin says, and then closes the door behind him. 

Yoohyun shouldn’t feel hurt. He should think that this is the perfect opportunity. After all, hyung has just left and Yoohyun didn’t have to hurt him with some lies. 

Instead, he finds himself sniffing to an alarming degree. 

Yoohyun knows he’s been missing his brother for years but he has never felt it as keenly as he does now.

He visits Yoojin the next day. He really shouldn’t, but there’s a part of that pushes past all the reasons he’s kept himself away all these years. 

At any rate, Yoohyun is selfish. Again, he’s like the child that no one wanted except for Yoojin and unlike all the times within the past eight years that feeling has come up again, Yoohyun does not ignore it.

Yoojin looks surprised, which Yoohyun would say he doesn’t like, but considering the fact that Yoojin was so… neutral for a lot of the previous day, he appreciates it. 

Neither of them say anything as Yoohyun takes off his shoes and comes in, groceries in hand. Yoojin pretends not to notice as Yoohyun tries to re-familiarize himself with the apartment he grew up in after their parents’ deaths. 

His eyes focus on a crack on the wall. That was never there when he was growing up, but he somehow isn’t surprised. But he feels like he should be. He feels like he should know where this is from but he doesn’t. 

He pulls his eyes away to stop himself from developing a migraine, instead coming to the kitchen to hand Yoojin supplies as Yoojin gets around to cooking dinner. 

Yoohyun, that night, has food that tastes like home for the first time in eight years. 

It takes a week, or three more visits to Yoojin, for Kim Sunghan and Seok Simyeong to pin him down to tell him the unfortunate news. 

“Lim Seokwoo mentioned that it can only happen once,” Kim Sunghan adds, “but I overheard Han Yoojin talking to himself, and it seems like he has gone back multiple times.”

“And he went back because—” 

Yoohyun can’t bring himself to finish, but in a kind tone, as if this is not the most devastating news Yoohyun has heard in a long time, Seok Simyeong says, “You died.” 

Kim Sunghan and Seok Simyeong don’t follow him as he leaves and there’s a part of Yoohyun that’s telling him that this is a bad idea. He’s barely in the state of mind to disguise himself as he leaves, much less have a conversation with Yoojin in a way he won’t regret. 

But before he can turn back, he’s already at Yoojin’s apartment and waiting for Yoojin to get home. 

The problem with waiting is that it allows Yoohyun to stew over everything, his mistakes, Yoojin’s mistakes, the damned crack in the wall that Yoohyun both knows should be there and shouldn’t at all. 

“Yoohyun?” Yoojin’s voice comes when the door creaks open. Yoojin did not raise him to be rude, so he helps Yoojin with the groceries, even as his hands are trembling. 

Yoojin sighs, and it takes Yoohyun back to all the times teenage him threw a sulking fit and Yoojin would just wait it out, giving him a fond smile whenever Yoohyun got over himself and apologized. 

“What’s Final Gratitude?” Yoohyun asks and Yoojin does not drop anything. He continues to move normally and Yoohyun just wishes that he could see Yoojin’s face. 

“Nothing for you to worry about.”

“You saved my life multiple times,” Yoohyun says, starting to feel himself become heated. “That seems like it involves me.”

Yoojin doesn’t say anything. 

“Hyung, please.”

“Why?” Yoojin asks after a moment. “It won’t happen again. And you not remembering is for the better.”

Yoojin cracks an egg and Yoohyun blinks at his figure. 

Yoohyun wouldn’t call Yoojin fragile. His brother has never been easily broken. He can be hurt and he doesn’t usually recognize that, but the fact that his brother is strong is part of the reason Yoohyun thought that distancing the two of them would be okay. Yoohyun thought that Yoojin would be able to pick out a new life for himself. 

Of course, something entirely different happened and Yoohyun did grow to regret his decision over the years, but the kind of forgiveness he needed from Yoojin was one he thought he would never get. 

Yoohyun knows that he doesn’t deserve to press Yoojin for more answers, not after everything. 

“Can’t I take care of you?” is what slips out of Yoohyun’s mouth, frustrated. 

“If you’ve tried before, you’re not very good at it,” Yoojin says lightly. 

Yoohyun doesn’t cry but a part of him wants to. 

“I’m sorry,” he says again. 

“I know,” Yoojin says, still in that light, disaffected tone. It doesn’t change anything, is what Yoohyun reads below the surface. 

The thing is that Yoohyun doesn’t think that Yoojin hates him or even is that mad at him. Yoohyun would know if that is the case. 

But he also knows that something is wrong with his brother. And maybe he doesn’t deserve to have the relationship they have now, but he thinks he should at least try to make amends. That’s what Yoojin taught him, after all. 

The other thing is that Yoohyun is selfish. He’s very, very selfish, wanting his hyung to be normal and well again and also for wanting to try and right what feels wrong with the world. He can’t get the crack in the wall out of his mind and now that he’s started thinking about he, can’t stop thinking about everything else that’s wrong. 

There was never a guild called Hope. Except Yoohyun distinctly remembers that there is one, because he’d extended an offer to the S-rank in Hope to join Haeyeon, only to get a rejection in the form of the formation of Hope. Except there couldn’t be Hope, because Yoohyun knows all of the S-ranks in Korea, and there would be so much more pressure for the mystery S-rank to unveil themself if they existed. But at the same time—

It’s enough to give Yoohyun a headache. But it’s not the only thing that’s wrong. 

The strange feeling increases whenever there is a meeting of S-ranks and he sees either Sung Hyunjae or Song Taewon. He has the distinct feeling that neither of them are supposed to be there and he thinks that Sung Hyunjae knows that, because each time he catches Yoohyun’s look, he does that stupid smirk that makes Yoohyun want to beat his face in. 

There’s also a strange feeling whenever he looks at Yoojin. He knows that he’s the one who was supposed to have died, but sometimes, just sometimes, when he looks from the corner of his eye, Yoojin looks like he’s bleeding. It looks like he’s fallen or crushed or otherwise gotten severely injured. 

Which, for an F-rank like Yoojin, means death. 

But each time that Yoohyun whirls around to look at Yoojin, he seems fine. There’s still that distant steel in his eyes, but he’s not dead. 

He… he just wants to make sure that Yoojin is safe. He doesn’t even know what learning the truth about Final Gratitude would do, but it would be something, not the useless back and forths he’s doing now. 

Yoojin is looking at the wall, lying on the couch with his bad leg propped up, when Yoohyun enters. 

Yoohyun immediately steers to the kitchen to get a hot pack for his brother. 

“Thanks,” Yoojin says, wincing slightly when he presses the pack to his knee. 

“How are you feeling?” Yoohyun asks and Yoojin shrugs. 

“It’s a normal day, Yoohyun. Not much to feel.”

Yoohyun frowns. Yoojin still doesn’t look at him. 

“Hyung, can I ask you some questions?”

“I’ll never stop you.”

“Will you answer?”

“Everyone gets to have their own secrets.”

“I want to be able to help you,” Yoohyun starts. 

“Don’t ask about Final Gratitude again,” Yoojin snaps. 

“Hyung—”

“Can you just leave this be?” Yoojin asks, finally turning towards him. “Why does it matter so much?”

“I want to help,” Yoohyun repeats and Yoojin huffs. 

“I’ve been fine, Yoohyun,” he says. 

“You’re not.”

“You really don’t get to say whether I’m fine or not.”

Yoohyun breathes in and then he breathes out. “Should I make dinner?”

Yoojin looks up, head tilted. “... Sure, if you want.” 

Yoohyun gets busy. He wants answers, but if Yoojin doesn’t want to tell him now, he won’t force him. 

Yoohyun makes dinner for the two of them, pulling a small table to the couch so Yoojin doesn’t have to move. They eat in silence, but this time, it feels comfortable, almost. 

Of course it comes crashing down. 

Of course. 

“You better explain yourself,” Yoojin almost growls. “Now.” 

“You almost disappeared,” Yoohyun says, frustrated, as if Yoohyun did not get an alert one night that Yoojin was gone and no one could find him. 

“Maybe because I don’t like being watched by your little babysitters,” Yoojin spits back. “You visit about half the days in a week anyways, what do you need to stalk me for?”

Yoohyun’s face burns. “It’s not stalking. It’s to protect you.”

“It does shit,” Yoojin says. “And what do you mean, it isn’t stalking? I don’t want you to do it. I know you’ve done it for a while, but there’s no excuse to do it now.” 

“But—”

“ No. Buts.”

Ah. Yoojin is really mad now. 

“Open up the portal so I can go down from your floor and go back home,” Yoojin orders and Yoohyun doesn’t move. “Yoohyun.”

Yoohyun stands his ground and Yoojin stares at him for a long moment before turning his head to look out one of the windows. 

“Hyung, I’m sorry,” Yoohyun feels he has to say. 

“You can’t say you’re sorry and pull this kind of shit,” Yoojin says, still mad. 

Yoohyun is about to try and explain the situation again, but he gets a message from Seok Simyeong, a reminder to attend a brief meeting. 

“I’ll be back,” he promises and leaves, even though he drags his feet as he does. 

Yoojin is gone when he comes back and it sends Yoohyun into a frenzy. He’s this close to physically lashing out when he gets a phone call. 

It’s from his brother. 

Yoohyun immediately answers it and braces himself for the inevitable ransom message or threat. That must have been what happened, right? There’s no way—

“Yoohyun, we need to talk.”

“Are you safe?”

“What? Yeah, I’m safe,” Yoojin says. There’s sound from the wind and that means he has to be outside somewhere. “Don’t send anyone to try and find me. I mean it, Yoohyun.”

“Hyung—”

“Will you listen to me for one moment in your adult life?” 

Yoohyun shuts up and instead, makes his way to his private room. 

“I know you’ve been trying to take care of me,” Yoojin says. “But did it ever occur to you that I didn’t want any of that? That all I wanted was my brother? I never wanted… any of this.”

“... I didn’t like it either,” Yoohyun admits. 

“You still did it. Why did you continue, if you disliked it so much?”

Yoohyun forms the words but it still takes a few attempts before he can get it out, “There’s not really a way to go back from that.”

“There’s always a way to go back,” Yoojin says and Yoohyun doesn’t have a response for that. 

A few moments of silence pass before Yoojin sighs. 

“I am an adult, Yoohyun,” Yoojin says. “I’ve been an adult much longer than you have. You do not have the right to take the right of choice from me.”

“You made some of my choices,” Yoohyun muttered. 

“You were a child,” Yoojin says. “There is a world of difference between making a child go to school or eat their vegetables and what you did. Besides, I couldn’t stop you from doing what you wanted in the end.”

“What do you want?” Yoohyun asks slowly. If Yoojin never wants to see him again… Yoohyun doesn’t know how he could actually follow through on that, but he’d try. “What do you want me to do?”

“I want my brother back,” Yoojin says, and it sounds so heavy. “I—ah, whatever. Let’s just meet somewhere to talk it out. I can’t do this over a phone.”

They meet at a park, sit down at the same bench, and proceed to say nothing. 

Suddenly, Yoojin starts to laugh. 

“Look at us,” he says. “We can’t say a word to each other, but when you were younger, very little got you to stop talking.”

Yoojin snorts a couple of times and Yoohyun doesn’t find it amusing. There are days he wishes the world could revert to what it was, before the dungeons. This is one of those times. 

“Hyung,” Yoohyun says quietly, “why can’t we be honest with each other?”

“I don’t know, Yoohyun,” Yoojin says, and this time, there is no fake cheer he hides his resentment behind. “You started off this chain. Why can’t you tell me?”

“I wasn’t really lying to you—”

“Just stop,” Yoojin says. “I know about most of the actions you’ve taken. I know that you wanted to be close to me but felt you would put me in danger, so you decided to push me aside. I know all of that. You don’t have to pretend that I don’t know, because I do. And all of that, Yoohyun, was lying.” 

“I’m sorry,” Yoohyun offers. 

Yoojin sighs. “I’m not asking for an apology. I’m asking to hear it from you for once. For you to be honest with me.”

“But you know,” Yoohyun trails off uncertainly when he sees the look on Yoojin’s face. 

“Yes, I know,” Yoojin hisses, “but I want to hear you admit it. I want to hear your reasoning. I want to be able to hear it from you instead of having to rely upon what I’ve learned. And then I’ll be honest with you, alright? I want to know why exactly you thought I was weak enough that you, a seventeen year old, had to protect me. And why you thought that separation was the best protection you could give.”

Yoohyun opens his mouth, then closes, and then opens again. 

And he speaks. 

Yoohyun tells him everything. And in return, Yoojin tells him three things that, in turns, shatter Yoohyun’s world. 

First: “What I described to be Final Gratitude isn’t actually Final Gratitude. I got tired of making stuff up, so I just recycled one of my other skills’ names.”

Second: “It was a one time offer I got. A wishstone. Yes, it appeared after you died and I killed Lauchitas. I chose to rewind time.” 

And lastly: “It took more than one try to get it right.” 

&&&

Song Taewon stares at the door that had just slammed shut in front of his face and then raises his hand to knock again. 

No one answers the door, as if pretending that no one is home. 

“Han Yoojin, I know you’re in there,” he says as he knocks again. 

The door finally creaks open a tiny bit, just enough that Taewon can see a sliver of Han Yoojin’s face. 

“Before you bring down the entire building, what do you want?” he spits out. 

“Just to talk,” Taewon says as the headache starts building again. 

“I’ve never seen you before in my life,” Han Yoojin lies. 

“You threw a smoothie at Sung Hyunjae while he and I were talking,” Taewon reminds him. “And then you threw the rest of your groceries at us.”

The door slams shut again and Taewon resumes knocking. 

“What do you want, a sorry for tossing food at you?” Han Yoojin asks. “Sorry, then.”

This time, Song Taewon catches the door before it can slam shut. Han Yoojin closes the door with more force than expected for an F-rank, but it still doesn’t phase him at all. 

“Aren’t you supposed to be a servant of the government?” Han Yoojin asks, looking from Taewon’s hand to Taewon himself. “What you’re doing now is not very law-abiding.”

“You’re an F-rank,” Taewon says instead. “How can an F-rank escape from two S-ranks and manage to stay under the radar for years?”

“That sounds like a deficiency on your parts,” Han Yoojin says, and leans to the side slightly. Taewon frowns and then receives a face full of what might be pepper spray. The difference being that this actually stings his eyes. 

The door slams shut and he can hear the locks close. Taewon stumbles out of the apartment building, blinking rapidly as he does. 

The next time he comes, Han Yoohyun opens the door. 

And he also slams the door. Taewon immediately knows where he gets that from.  

Taewon’s hand aches this time when he stops the door from closing and Han Yoohyun looks like he wants to murder him. That doesn’t bother Taewon much. He spends quite a bit of time near Sung Hyunjae, after all. 

“Why are you bothering my hyung?” Han Yoohyun asks in an icy tone. 

“That is business between Han Yoojin and I.”

“Is it?” Han Yoohyun asks. “Let me ask him about it.” 

What Taewon wants to ask is when did Han Yoohyun become so familiar with Han Yoojin. He knows they’re brothers—everyone knows that—but the relationship always seemed to be bad between the two of them. 

Han Yoojin doesn’t let the tone ring long before picking up. Taewon can’t hear the other side of the conversation, but he suspects he knows what Han Yoojin says to his brother, based on how Han Yoohyun’s eyes are narrowing. 

“I see,” Han Yoohyun says. “Thank you. I will see you later, hyung.” 

Han Yoohyun calmly puts away his phone and then wrenches the door open so that Song Taewon has to back up a few steps to avoid falling. “So there’s no business.”

“It’s business whether your brother wants to deal with it or not,” Taewon says. 

“If he doesn’t want to deal with it, it’s not business,” Han Yoohyun says, crossing his arms. “Do we need to settle this out the hard way?”

Han Yoohyun and Taewon go to a deserted place and fight. Taewon would have preferred not to, but with Han Yoohyun attacking first, there wasn’t much to do. 

It ends in a draw and Han Yoohyun snarls at Taewon to not bother Han Yoojin again. Taewon, in response, says nothing back. 

“You again?” Han Yoojin does not look impressed. “Don’t you have better things to do?”

“How are you an F-rank?”

The door closes. Taewon doesn’t move from his spot. 

The door slowly opens again some minutes later. 

“Is this what you do for a hobby?” Han Yoojin asks. Taewon just holds his gaze and Han Yoojin sighs. "Alright. Do your best. You won't get anything from me."

“You escaped two S-ranks years ago,” Taewon starts to list. Han Yoojin rolls his eyes. “You were the tip that led to the misranked dungeon being investigated. You have skills you are hiding.”

“You’re quite hilarious,” Han Yoojin says and closes the door. It doesn’t open again and eventually, Taewon leaves. He does have a job, after all. 

On the street outside the apartment complex, he tamps down on any aura he might let loose. It’s because he’s paying attention to others so he doesn’t disrupt them that he notices a presence that doesn’t feel like any other. 

He turns and looks and the person looks up too. He and Han Yoojin share a look across the street. Taewon makes his way after him, but the moment he crosses the street, Han Yoojin is gone. 

Han Yoojin, Taewon considers, is definitely a strange person. He didn’t seem phased at all when Taewon listed what were definitely closely kept secrets. He also probably got out of his apartment via window. 

But like he said, he has a job and so, despite his reluctance, he leaves the scene. 

Here’s the thing: not even Song Taewon knows why he’s pursuing Han Yoojin this much. Han Yoojin is not in danger and does not seem to be a danger, unless he extrapolates that to refer to any information Han Yoojin is keeping hidden or the influence he might hold over his brother. 

Maybe it’s all because of the headaches that come and go and the conviction that something different should’ve happened. These are the not same kind of headaches that Sung Hyunjae receives, where he thinks that he’s done everything before, just in another way. 

Taewon’s headaches are of the variety that he loses time. He closes his eyes and suddenly he’s gotten through the entire day. If Sung Hyunjae feels like he’s existing too much, Taewon feels like he doesn’t exist at all. 

It does have to do with Han Yoojin, somehow. Taewon is sure of it. The headaches, both his and Sung Hyunjae’s, started to happen after the day they met him. 

Thinking of Sung Hyunjae, Taewon starts to frown. Sung Hyunjae is a man motivated by his own interest, and now, his interest is whatever he thinks he’s done but hasn’t actually done. He’s been jumping all over the world because of it.

“If I get bored, I’ll join you,” Sung Hyunjae said the last time Taewon brought this up with him. Not that Taewon particularly wants to collaborate with him, but no one else that he knows feels the same way. 

So Taewon is on his own. It shouldn’t feel as disappointing as it does. 

Taewon catches Han Yoojin on a bad day. He knows this, because he spends the rest of the day feeling like a ghost. He’s not exactly sure why this is happening, but after Han Yoojin yelled at him to get away already, the world has felt out of focus. 

It is most definitely a strange feeling. Though Taewon tries not to be obtrusive, he has never been as ignored as he is now. Even in the middle of a crowd, no one pays attention to him. 

He gets through a day and then another like that and then winds up back at Han Yoojin’s apartment. 

“What—” Han Yoojin starts before staring at him. Or through him? Taewon wonders if maybe he is actually dead and gone. Maybe the headaches will stop. 

“I see you, okay?” Han Yoojin says after a moment and reality crashes back into him like a wave. 

So does the anger. 

“What was that?” Taewon forces himself to dial back, because Han Yoojin is an F-rank, he needs protection, but at the same time, Han Yoojin looks at him without a bit of fear. That’s not how things work. 

“If I let you in, will you make sure not to disrupt anything?” Han Yoojin asks and Taewon nods, stepping gingerly into the Han household. 

It’s small, but certainly very homely. There’s a crack in the wall that Taewon winces at, but the pictures in frames, the shoes by the door, all the signs that this is a lived-in place distracts him. 

Han Yoojin starts to make tea and Taewon stands awkwardly. 

“The couch won’t break if you sit on it,” Han Yoojin says from the kitchen. 

“Why did you invite me in?” he asks instead of sitting. 

“So we can get this cleared up,” he says, coming back with two glasses. “I must be taking time away from you, for you to keep coming around.”

Taewon drinks carefully, juggling between what he wants to know and how to ask it, before asking, “What’s wrong with the crack in your wall?”

Han Yoojin blinks and then turns to look at it. 

“It’s been here for a while,” he says carefully. 

“It’s not supposed to be here.”

That makes Han Yoojin consider him for a long moment. 

“Perhaps not,” he says, and drinks his tea. “But it is now.”

Taewon feels like he should ask for clarification. Be the S-rank and come barrelling in to ruin this tenuous peace. Instead he just drinks his tea and once finished, leaves. 

Somehow, it becomes a routine. When Han Yoojin isn’t there, he just leaves, but half the time, Han Yoojin is home and they just drink tea. Sometimes Taewon asks questions, but Han Yoojin never usually answers. 

“Why aren’t you frightened?” he asks today. 

“Why would I be?” Han Yoojin just asks back. Taewon learns to be content with the responses and form his own theories.

As Taewon is getting ready to leave, the door opens and Han Yoohyun walks in. 

The peaceful atmosphere immediately disappears. 

“What are you doing here?” Han Yoohyun says, his voice low. 

Taewon doesn’t think before he’s on his feet in a defensive stance. There’s a low-ranked person in the room, there’s someone to protect, and Han Yoohyun, leaking tension and a strong desire to fight, is the only threat that he can see. 

Taewon opens his mouth to respond when he gets a faceful of water. He blinks away the water and sees that Han Yoohyun has suffered a similar fate. 

“No fighting here,” Han Yoojin says, eyes narrowed and Taewon starts to feel himself become defensive. Except no, he’s supposed to defend Han Yoojin. Not be prepared to fight him. Not tense up as if Han Yoojin might be a dungeon beast escaping containment. 

“Sorry, hyung,” Han Yoohyun says. His fists are still clenched but Taewon can tell he’s forcing himself to calm down. 

“What are you?” Taewon asks, focusing solely on Han Yoojin. 

“Get out,” Han Yoojin says. Taewon nods stiffly and after stepping over the snowdrop flowers now scattered across the floor—it was water from the vase that Han Yoojin threw, then—he leaves. 

Life goes back to normal. He gets calls sometimes from Sung Hyunjae, who he is sure is bored of all the traveling now. He works. He gets avoided. He works. He gets calls. He gets avoided. 

He gets tired of it all. 

It takes about five knocks before the door creaks open. 

“What do you want?” Han Yoojin asks, but his voice is very neutral this time. 

“Do you have tea?” 

They go through the motions of their routine. Han Yoojin makes tea and Taewon sits down carefully. There is a new vase of flowers. Still snowdrops. 

“I apologize for the other day,” Taewon says before he drinks. There’s still the part of him that wants an explanation: how did the Han brothers mend their relationship, why doesn’t Han Yoojin feel any fear, why there is a crack in the wall, what did Han Yoojin do to him that made him into a ghost, and more. 

Mysteries surround this man. From the way Han Yoojin is gripping his cup, purposefully and yet with a shaking grip, he has a feeling Han Yoojin would like to know the answers to them too. 

“Eh, apology accepted,” Han Yoojin says after a moment. “Life’s too short to hold meaningless grudges.”

There’s some kind of a joke in that, by the bitter smile that graces Han Yoojin’s face, but Taewon doesn’t pry. 

There are some questions he’ll never get the answer to, it seems. He rebels at that, but at the same time, something relaxes in him. 

He doesn’t lose time for the rest of the day. 

&&&

Bak Yerim has been searching for something for years now, and she swears she’s almost found it. 

It began the day Peace ran out of the building, as if they were something wild and not the equivalent of a house-cat that just wanted to nap all the time. 

Or no, it all started before that. 

Yerim doesn’t really remember the day well, which she hates, considering how it changed everything. There was a man, she’s pretty sure, and he gave her advice on how to get away from her bastard uncle. Something like that. 

It’s pretty unremarkable except for what happened next: she Awakened. 

She doesn’t think that she thought much of it at the time. It was only later, when by chance she met another guy named Yoo Myeongwoo, that she realized that the random guy she met had to be connected to her Awakening. He’d met Yoo Myeongwoo too, and it was also meeting that guy that Yoo Myeongwoo also awakened as an S-rank. 

She had been convinced then. Yoo Myeongwoo remained skeptical, but when Yerim found a dungeon beast eating out of a trash bin, with neat handwriting attached to a collar, handwriting that matched the now faded list of good employers for her to check out, Yoo Myeongwoo started to concede that maybe they had all met the same guy. 

What sealed the deal for Yoo Myeongwoo was the fact that none of them could find anything about the guy. Yerim had braved herself to go back to the family store to look at the receipts and footage from that day, but either the guy didn’t actually get anything there or he hadn’t been inside, because there was no one that matched his description. 

Which was strange in its own regard, because she could immediately tell who wasn’t the man, but she couldn’t describe him either. 

It was puzzling and frustrating. This was a man who Awakened two S-ranks and raised a dungeon beast, and there was no sign of him. 

It’s the reason they decided to form Hope, with Yoo Myeongwoo taking care of the paperwork and Yerim taking care of any appearances. 

Not that Hope has actually helped with much in that regard. Yerim has been getting these strange headaches for years now—Yoo Myeongwoo gets them too, though they’re a bit different than hers—and they only get worse whenever they try to publicize Hope. 

It is as if the image of the world is wrong. She’s not supposed to be here. She’s not supposed to be doing any of this. So really, all Hope helped with was money, in letting Yerim clear dungeons and giving Yoo Myengwoo an avenue to sell his wares. 

They have attracted people over the years, to the point that they finally have the manpower of a guild, but never the one man they’re looking for. 

But now, Yerim thinks she’s on the right track. Because one day, some weeks ago, Peace just ran out of the building and Yerim chased after them. 

The good news is that Yerim is certain that Haeyeon holds the answers in some way. If not, why else had Peace gone there? The lazy animal rarely shows initiative, only accompanying her or some of the higher-ranked hunters into dungeons when bribed. The one time Peace was interested in something was when they were trying to figure out if they could use Peace’s sense of smell to track the man. 

So, Peace’s frenzied runaway session has to be related to him. 

The bad news is that Yerim isn’t quite sure what she should be looking for in Haeyeon. It’s made especially awkward by the fact that she rejected their invitation, so she can’t exactly peek her head inside without people getting the wrong impression. People might not know her name, but she’s been out and about enough that people generally know what she looks like. 

“We could try to branch out more,” Yoo Myeongwoo says over their dinner when Yerim brings up all her complaints. 

Yerim winces. She is not looking forward to the inevitable headaches. “Is it worth it?”

“Prices are skyrocketing.” 

That isn’t wrong. It’s as if ever since the dungeons came, the world has been deteriorating at a slightly above average rate. 

“What about Haeyeon, then?” 

“What about them?”

Yerim rolls her eyes. “Peace’s investigation. Expanding isn’t really going to help us find out what’s going on there. Are we just going to ignore that?”

Yoo Myeongwoo rolls out his shoulders. “No, but it’s not as if we can actually figure out what’s happening. I assume that as we get on the national scale, we can interact with the top guilds more and Peace will lead us to what they wanted to find.”

Yerim gnaws on her lip. “That’ll take too much time.”

“We have two S-ranks,” Yoo Myeongwoo says. “It shouldn’t take much time at all for them to reach out to us, as long as we take the first step.” 

Yerim crosses her arms, but she can’t exactly refute that.

“So we publicize you?” Yerim asks. 

“Names can’t hurt, either,” Yoo Myeongwoo says. 

Yerim rubs her forehead and sighs. Peace, the little idiot, just gnaws on the side of her chair until she throws them food. 

“It’s not like they even need food,” Yoo Myeongwoo says, like he does every dinner.

Peace scarfs down the food as if to refute him, just like they do at every dinner. 

Yerim manages a smile. Things are going to become so hectic, but some things will never change. 

Yoo Myeongwoo is right. It’s barely a week after the two of them make a more formal introduction that Hope is invited to make a public appearance, meaning that she, Myeongwoo, and Peace show up to the next Guild meeting. 

They’re almost denied at the door. S-ranks have a certain aura and maybe it’s because of the man who Awakened them, but not everyone recognizes either her or Yoo Myeongwoo as S-ranks. It’s convenient at times and then, at times like these, very inconvenient.  

The first one to actually comment on their appearance is that bastard Sung Hyunjae. Not that Yerim has ever met him before, but Yerim really doesn’t like his vibe. Besides, she has always gotten a sense that he wasn’t supposed to be around for this long. He’s so old that he’s basically a fossil now, after all.

“So Hope finally decides to show its face,” he says with a weird kind of smile. 

Yerim crosses her arms. “The company isn’t great,” she says, “but neighbors must meet neighbors.” 

Honestly, the guild meeting is nothing like Yerim expected. There’s more physical intimidation than expected, and the content of the meeting turns from whatever it was supposed to be about to Hope and what they’ve been doing across the years. She and Myeongwoo field off questions and lay their terms down in relation to dungeon acquisition. 

“That sucked,” she says to Myeongwoo when they finally get to go home. Even Peace is tired out, shrinking down to their house cat size, instead of the grown form they usually inhabit.

“It really did,” he replies, tiredly. “Now I have to meet with the Hunter Association tomorrow to negotiate how I can sell my items.” 

Right. That was the other drawback to going fully public. They had to actually be official with these things. 

Yerim winces and then sighs. “I have to go into a dungeon with that lot,” she says. It is supposed to be some weird S-rank bonding activity, though none of them would ever call it that. Yerim is not looking forward to that. “We’ve both got it bad.” 

It only takes another week to be able to be in Haeyeon again. Though instead of being asked about her guild or abilities or anything like that, she’s being relentlessly questioned about Peace. 

It is a strange choice, she will admit, to work with Peace when their natures are so obviously misaligned. But the questions take a turn into asking how she got Peace, and that’s an origin that only she, Myeongwoo, and Peace get to know. 

“Why are you so concerned, eh?” she asks, not sweetly at all. “You’d think Peace is Haeyeon’s familiar by the way you’re going around.” 

“Perhaps they were,” Seok Simyeong, the guy she’s talking to, replies in a severe tone, “but Peace is the same age as would be the beast that was to be Guild leader Han Yoohyun’s familiar. Who was also a Horned Flame Lion.” 

“Are you implying that I stole Peace?” Yerim asks, outraged. And okay, maybe she’ll let some of the backstory slip. “I found Peace on the streets. If Peace is the same beast that Han Yoohyun had, then truly, Haeyeon’s security must be in severe jeopardy.”

Seok Simyeong’s face colors and Yerim doesn’t bite back the smirk. Her parents would probably be ashamed that she’s not the dutiful and polite girl that she was under their care, but she thinks they’d understand. 

“You know, if you’re going to interrogate me so deeply, I might as well get a tour of Haeyeon while I’m at it,” Yerim says and leaves before Seok Simyeong can do something like tell her no. 

Eventually, he catches up, but Yerim’s feet take her all over Haeyeon. She doesn’t see anything out of place, or at least, not anything that she thinks would lead her to her target. There’s certainly no one here that she recognizes. 

However, as Seok Simyeong is trying to get her to leave—which is hilarious, since he and his group were the ones who brought her here—she notices Han Yoohyun leave a slightly rickety looking car. 

It’s a quick glance, so Seok Simyeong doesn’t seem to notice and Han Yoohyun certainly doesn’t catch it, but it makes her wonder about the driver. Haeyeon is a top guild, after all, and there’s no reason for Han Yoohyun to be in a poor car. Even as disguise, using this car would be stupid, considering the fact that it literally just pulled into the building complex. 

“Yoo Myeongwoo,” she calls when she comes back home. “I need help tracking a license plate!” 

It’s a bit hard to track a license plate, it turns out, especially since Hope lost its informant that had easy access to these kinds of things, but they pull through. And it leads them to a really mundane looking apartment complex. She, Yoo Myeongwoo, and Peace are all there, though currently, Peace is napping in a little carrier. They don’t want to draw more attention than warranted. 

The owner of the car is listed as Han Yoojin, Han Yoohyun’s older brother. 

“Oh, I’ve heard of him,” Yoo Myeongwoo says and then says nothing else, brows furrowed in confusion. 

“Good things, bad things?” Yerim prompts. 

“I don’t remember,” he says slowly, and it’s enough of a sign for them to continue forward. They buzz his number and it’s Yoo Myeongwoo that gives his name to the voice that responds. 

“Eh?” the speaker, Han Yoojin says. “Uh. What do you want?”

“Just to talk,” Yoo Myeongwoo says. “It’s been a while since we met.”

“That’s true,” Han Yoojin’s voice says and then he lets them in. 

“I feel like I should feel concerned for him,” Yerim says as they make their way up. “Letting strangers in?”

“Apparently we’ve met,” Yoo Myeongwoo says. “And he remembers me.”

“I can’t believe it’s this easy,” Yerim just says and Yoo Myeongwoo shoots her a look. 

“It’s been five years.”

“Yeah, well we didn’t have a lead for most of those five years,” she points out and immediately gets to knocking when they reach his door. 

A man who is most definitely not Han Yoojin opens the door. In fact, it’s that S-rank who works for the government, Song Taewon. 

“Don’t block the doorway,” the voice from the speaker says and when Yerim looks at him, she knows that that’s the guy who’s been inadvertently leading them on a wild goose chase for five fucking years. 

“You!” she says, pointing with Peace’s carrier cage. 

“Me?” Han Yoojin bends over slightly, his eyes widening. “Is that a Flame Horned Lion?”

Yerim lets Peace out, who immediately bounds over to Han Yoojin, purring at his side like they really are just a housecat. Han Yoojin just stares down at them. 

“Uh, ahjussi?” she asks, a little bit concerned as to how he’s not reacting to anything. She gets it’s probably weird to have some strangers from your past suddenly reappear but this seems a bit extreme. 

Han Yoojin blinks slowly and then looks up. “I’ll… make some tea.”

Song Taewon is glaring at them and oh. Han Yoojin doesn’t really give off the presence of a high-ranked individual, so it must be overwhelming to have three S-ranks in the same room. 

“What are you doing here?” Song Taewon says. 

“We just want to visit someone from our pasts, what’s it to you?” Yerim snaps. Yoo Myeongwoo sighs and Yerim recalls why exactly they decided to let him take care of most forms of communication. 

“Calm down,” Song Taewon says. 

“Only if you do so first.”

“No need to fight,” Han Yoojin’s voice cuts in, and Yerim blinks. She hadn’t even heard him approach. 

“Sorry about that,” Yoo Myeongwoo says, smiling a bit nervously. 

“So what did you want to talk about?” Han Yoojin asks.

“It’s a bit private,” Yoo Myeongwoo responds, not even subtly looking at Song Taewon. 

Han Yoojin scratches his head. “Alright, then. Song Taewon, you were going to get going soon anyways, weren’t you?”

“I’m not sure if that’s a good idea,” Song Taewon says. 

“I know them, it’s fine,” Han Yoojin says, waving his hand. “There’s nothing to be scared of.”

At that, all three S-ranks look at Han Yoojin. Most people would say there’s plenty to be scared of in this room. But it’s like they’re no stronger than Unawakened people to him. 

Song Taewon nods and leaves, though reluctantly. She bets he’s going to stay outside in the hallway for a while, just to make sure neither she nor Yoo Myeongwoo try anything. 

That almost has Yerim rolling her eyes. As if. In fact, if anyone were to try and take advantage of Han Yoojin, it’ll probably be Song Taewon, since he works for the government and all. 

“Well, now we have privacy,” Han Yoojin says, smiling at them a bit impersonally. 

It makes sense. It had been five years. The fact that he remembers them at all should be good. There’s something in Yerim that expects something more, though. 

“I wanted to thank you,” Yoo Myeongwoo says. “When we met, I was in a very bad place, and the benefits that awakening as an S-rank gave me were immeasurable, especially since it’s more than I ever dreamed.”

Han Yoojin pauses in petting Peace. “I’m glad for you? Why are you thanking me, though?”

Yoo Myeongwoo blinks once. “Because you were the one who Awakened me. Or rather, you led to a re-Awakening.”

“It’s the same for me too,” Yerim adds in. “The whole gratitude. ‘Cause probably I would’ve Awakened eventually, but getting out and getting out as an S-rank really made my life better than what it might have been.”

Han Yoojin has not resumed petting Peace. 

“I Awakened both of you?” he asks, and Yerim is a little concerned at how his eyes are rapidly going out of focus. “That’s, no—”

Han Yoojin stands up in a hurry, rocking slightly on his feet and then disappears down a hall, slamming a door shut behind him. 

The door of the apartment slams open. 

“What did you do?” Song Taewon asks, almost snarling. If Yerim weren’t so flabbergasted, she’d laugh. She was right about Song Taewon after all. 

Then a bitter taste starts to creep into her mouth. What did they do? 

&&&

Everyone is worried about him. They knock on his door, they call with voices they shouldn’t have anymore, and Yoojin can only breathe easily when they are all gone. 

Because that’s what they are. Gone. Bak Yerim wasn’t a part of his life and shouldn’t be now. Yoo Myeongwoo probably died, Peace most certainly died, Song Taewon was dead and Yoohyun did die and—

Yoojin feels sick all over again. It feels like Lauchitas is looming over him and he wishes that instead of just fear nullification, he had feelings nullification. Maybe none of this would hurt then. Maybe he could move on and pretend like nothing happened in that case. 

Which he had been doing well enough anyways! He was genuinely doing fine! The first few days were rough, but he got past them. Yoohyun woke up, they talked, and Yoojin was living his life. He is living his life. He’s fine. He should be fine. He should be over this now. 

Except there are people knocking on his bedroom door and they have different voices and they’re all asking him to please open up, to please explain. Bak Yerim’s voice comes a couple of times, Hey, ahjussi, I’m really sorry and Yoo Myeongwoo apologizes for bringing up bad memories. Peace scratches at the door and whines pitifully. Song Taewon’s even there, asking if he wants tea, and Yoojin swears to fucking God that Seok Simyeong and Kim Sunghan also came. 

Hyung, is all that Yoohyun says and Yoojin knows he sits outside for hours. 

Yoojin is fine. He really is. It’s just he needs to collect himself and find a way to explain what happened without explaining it at all. It’s not like he could just say, oh yes, I’ve died more times than I can count, I’ve seen my brother die more times than he ever should, I’ve killed and been killed, I know more about how to live in a loop than in real life. 

Yeah, that’d go over so well. Swimmingly, in fact. 

The problem with the situation, he thinks, gnawing on the knuckle of his thumb, is that there is no clean answer. So, if he can just come up with a smooth enough lie, then they can all move past it. Or at least, the others can and Yoojin can go back to his solitary life, content with the knowledge that the people he cares about are alive and will stay alive this way. 

It’s not that Yoojin dislikes this life. He and Yoohyun see each other more often and maybe with enough time, he’ll be more used to seeing Yoohyun alive. Song Taewon comes over for tea and doesn’t interrogate him anymore. Recently, Sung Hyunjae has interrupted their meetings with calls and while Yoojin still hasn’t met him, it has been a bit amusing to exchange barbs over the call. He’s even gone back to Haeyeon and is something like acquaintances with Seok Simyeong and Kim Sunghan now. 

It’s all a big fucking improvement, if you ask Yoojin. 

So he’s not sure why it came tumbling down with Yoo Myeongwoo, Bak Yerim, and Peace. He’s not sure why he had that reaction. Maybe he can just play it as getting overwhelmed by too many high-ranks? 

Yoojin snorts at that, curling up a bit tighter. Maybe, but that stupid brother of his is too nosy for his own good and he bets Bak Yerim won’t let it go. If he answers one thing but doesn’t completely sell the act, they’ll poke and prod. He knows this about Yoohyun through experience and he knows this about Yerim through instinct.  

He can’t answer their questions. He has to keep up the facade. Pretend nothing happened because to them, didn’t nothing happen? 

That’s what he’s been telling himself and he wants it to so desperately be true. So what if Song Taewon is alive and asked about the crack in the wall? So what if there’s a new guild here that there never was? The loops that failed don’t matter because they failed. They don’t exist and if they don’t exist then they never happened. If they never happened, it can’t hurt. 

Yoojin can’t accept that that’s wrong. He—no. The loops are over and the last one was successful so he is in the world of that one. The loops are separate and he is past them. 

Except if all of that’s true, Bak Yerim shouldn’t remember him. Yoo Myeongwoo shouldn’t remember him, probably shouldn’t be alive. Peace shouldn’t be alive, Song Taewon shouldn’t be alive, Sung Hyunjae should be in hiding or wherever the fuck he was, and everything shouldn’t be so different. 

There shouldn’t be a crack in the wall. But there is and Yoojin hates what that implies. 

The past that he remembers is not the past that actually existed. Or not all of the past that’s existed. Then again, he’s lived what feels like hundreds of pasts. Who is he to say which one is real? Who is he to say that he’s actually in the world that he lived in? 

Perhaps that’s the most frightening part. He can’t go out and tell the truth, because the truth sounds like insanity. 

There’s knocking at his door. Gentle sounds of voices. 

Yoojin clutches his knees in a death grip and waits it out until they disappear. 

There’s a part of him that knows he can’t hide forever. He ignores it for now. 

He does go out eventually. He has needs, after all, and the first one that he caves to is that to go to the bathroom. 

The crowd is gone, and surprisingly, he only encounters Seok Simyeong in the hall. 

“Don’t get started,” he snaps. 

“I won’t,” Seok Simyeong says and Yoojin actually believes him. He doesn’t know what changed in the man, what changed in any of the people he’s met, but it seems genuine enough to trust. 

Seok Simyeong follows him to the kitchen, where Yoojin caves to his second need: water. 

“How’d you get in anyways?” Yoojin asks. 

“Han Yoohyun does most of his work here now,” he says. “So I bring the things he needs from Haeyeon. Don’t worry, I make sure I’m never followed.” 

“Where’s he now?”

“Sleeping,” Seok Simyeong says and Yoojin does note that it’s some time in the really early morning. “I told him I’d wake him up if—”

“Not now,” Yoojin says, rubbing his forehead. “I need time to let myself think. Besides, he should rest.”

Seok Simyeong doesn’t respond with a barb. It’s strange, the different Seok Simyeongs that Han Yoojin has known. 

“Do you want me to stay?” Seok Simyeong asks. “Or to get you anything? Kim Sunghan’s down in the car, and he can run an errand.”

“You can stay if you want, I don’t really care,” Yoojin says. “If you stay, you might as well invite Kim Sunghan up too.”

Seok Simyeong settles at the dinner table, taking out his laptop and working on something. Eventually, Kim Sunghan comes up too, and Seok Simyeong takes care of that too. Yoojin eventually settles down at a seat, not long after refilling his glass with more water. 

Kim Sunghan doesn’t say anything as he enters, joining Seok Simyeong in doing some kind of work. 

“You don’t have any questions?” Yoojin asks lightly after some minutes of silence. 

“I’ve had questions ever since I learned about your existence,” Seok Simyeong responds. “They’ll all wait.”

“And if you never get answers?”

“Then we never get answers,” Kim Sunghan says. 

Yoojin looks at both of them. I’ve lived with both of you for years, he wants to say. 

Kim Sunghan, he wants to add, I know how much you cried when your first pet dog died. You buried her by yourself because she was your responsibility and only you and your grandfather took care of her. You didn’t get another pet after that. 

Seok Simyeong, he wants to admit, I know that you were the one who had to step up in your family, taking care of your sister, even your parents. It’s probably why you judged me so harshly, huh? You could take care of your entire family and here was someone who couldn’t do that.

He doesn’t say any of it. It’s not the right time. He’s not sure if there will ever be a right time, and there’s a lot of him that feels very heavy, but it’s a distant ache. 

Yoojin doesn’t rest for the rest of the night, and eventually, Seok Simyeong and Kim Sunghan do leave, though not without asking if he wants anything. He lets them leave. 

Which leaves Yoojin alone to think. 

He awakened both Yoo Myeongwoo and Bak Yerim. Probably did something to Peace too, if they’re present. The whole reason he never checked before is because he thought it wasn’t possible. Being a caregiver is a rare trait, but it wasn’t supposed to be that strong. 

… His skillset did change when he was going through the loops. He remembers gaining at least one new skill. 

Grimacing, he, for the first time in a long time, looks at his skills. It feels strange, to consciously grasp for what he’s gotten so used to relying upon automatically. He looks and he can’t help the small laugh that escapes him. 

Of course. Of course he’s had all sorts of random power-ups and skill changes and he just never really noticed. Most of all, he hovered over Quiet Heartache and Mom/Dad’s Angry! A skill to spread the absolute misery he felt to anyone under his care, which was a fucking awful ability if you ask him, and a skill that lets him power up to protect a charge. 

While he thinks the name is stupid, he knows where he got Mom/Dad’s Angry! Quiet Heartache takes longer to remember, and suddenly, he thinks of the day that Song Taewon was hard to see. It would fit. Yoojin has felt invisible and insignificant before. So somehow, at sometime, he put Song Taewon under his care and then did that to him. 

Yoojin rests his face in his hands and wishes, at least, he could sob all of this out. Let out some scream or give some manifestation of an emotion, and maybe, the heaviness will flow out too. Or at least, everything might be easier to deal with that way. 

Instead his knee aches and there’s a crack in the wall and the snowdrops in a vase look like they’re going to die. 

And Yoojin has died over a hundred times and so has Yoohyun. 

“Hyung?” a voice says and Yoojin doesn’t uncover his face. Yoohyun drops down next to him and just leans against him. 

His brother is warm. He’s warm and alive, not a cooling corpse, not a smear that used to be human, not all the things he used to be. 

“I can get a hotpack,” Yoohyun offers but Yoojin catches his arm before he can leave. 

“Just stay,” Yoojin says, and he is so tired. 

Yoohyun stays. Yoojin falls asleep on his shoulder and he wakes in fits and starts, but he rests. 

Yoojin wakes up to the sunrise. It’s a bit annoying, considering he’s so deeply exhausted, but it is a bit nice to watch the sunrise in complete silence. Yoohyun is asleep again, his head resting on Yoojin’s. They probably will both get cramps in their necks, but Yoojin doesn’t particularly care. 

The peace must end eventually, because Yoohyun wakes up.

“What happened?” Yoohyun asks. 

“It doesn’t matter.” 

“Yes, it does.” 

“I can’t talk about it now,” Yoojin settles for and Yoohyun frowns but doesn’t question it. Yoojin can’t help but feel fond. He raised this kid. But Yoohyun isn’t a kid anymore, even if he’s always going to be Yoojin’s little brother.

Parents are supposed to feel this way, aren’t they? Their children grow up and they have their own lives. Yoojin had been preparing for it, way back then, but then Yoohyun had cut it short by leaving first. 

The fond feeling in his heart wavers and then he sighs. 

“Hyung?”

“I’m fine.” And at Yoohyun’s skeptical look, says, “I am now. Really. Come on, we might as well get ready for the day.”

They fall into a familiar rhythm as Yoojin makes breakfast and Yoohyun sets the table. 

“And you’ve got to work your people less,” Yoojin says over the sound of the sizzle in the pan. “It’s ridiculous how long Seok Simyeong and Kim Sunghan were here last night.” 

“You saw Seok Simyeong and Kim Sunghan?” Yoohyun asks, with that kind of trepidation that he’s afraid Yoojin might fracture. 

“I told him to let you rest,” Yoojin says. “It’s not like you slept that much anyways.”

They eat breakfast and soon enough, there are visitors knocking on Yoojin’s door again. Yoohyun looks at him, but Yoojin gets up and opens it. The crowd gathered outside his door stares at him. 

“You know,” a new voice says into the silence, “by the way everyone acted, someone’s grandmother had died. But I see the grandmother has been resurrected.”

“Eh, don’t make jokes too close to home,” Yoojin says, crossing his arms. “Who’re you anyways?”

Even as the words are leaving his mouth, he does recognize who this is. Sung Hyunjae. Guy he’s spoken to over the phone a few times and thrown a smoothie at. 

“My name isn’t remembered?” Sung Hyunjae sounds mock-hurt, and Yoojin almost rolls his eyes at the performance. This man is somehow more ridiculous now than he was over the phone. “Then, I can just be remembered as your prince.” 

Bak Yerim looks like she’s going to be sick and Peace starts to growl. 

“Everyone can come in except for him,” Yoojin says and to his surprise, that’s what happens. Before Sung Hyunjae can walk in, Song Taewon pushes him back slightly and closes the door quickly. 

Yoojin hears a snort when this happens, and turns back to see Yoohyun with a grin starting to unfurl on his lips. He can’t fix his face fast enough when he catches Yoojin looking at him. 

“Ahjussi, you’re feeling better?” Bak Yerim asks and Yoojin takes a moment to look at her. He saw her last when she was still just a kid, and now she’s an adult. He’d like to say time flew, but he is very aware at how time dragged on. 

“Yeah,” he says. 

“Good,” she says, squaring her shoulders. “You had everyone worried, ya know? You should tell us when you’re not feeling well.”

“You’re a kid and giving me orders?” he says and Bak Yerim splutters. Yoojin chuckles and his face hurts. “Whatever makes you happy.” 

Bak Yerim looks satisfied and Yoojin takes a moment to look at everyone in the room: Yoohyun already getting food for their impromptu guests and Yoo Myeongwoo joining him, Bak Yerim making herself comfortable on a couch, Peace yowling to be picked up, and Song Taewon trying to sit on a chair as if he’d break it if he isn’t careful.  

Knocks come from the door. 

Everyone looks at him and he ignores the sounds. They all follow suit, continuing in their own tasks.

His home hasn’t been this busy in… well, forever. Even in the days before, it was just him and Yoohyun. 

Sitting down at a chair and asking Bak Yerim how the years have been, Peace in his lap and everyone joining around, he can’t help but think that truly, life can be so very good.