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There’s a thing about crushes that Beidou has learned.
It’s the fact that it can simultaneously be the best and worst thing that could happen to you because it really gets in your brain sometimes. It makes you feel anxious when you’re typically confident; it can make you feel like you have no chance when you’re typically the person who feels like who would win in a fight.
If a crush were to manifest itself into an entire being, it would look like the cupid and it will be an annoying cupid. It’ll follow you around and it’ll taunt you. It’ll make you feel like a dumb high schooler again even if you’re two years from graduating college. It’ll make the strongest people crumble.
And Beidou has enough of it. Because she’s a functioning part of society and needs to progress if she wants to be happy. Having a crush is a hindrance to that.
Beidou stares at the rain showering from the sky, stopping at the entrance of one of her university’s buildings. Some of the students were already exiting while she was just there looking at the gray clouds mindlessly.
One thing that snaps her back to reality is the flowing white hair in her peripheral vision. Beidou does a double-take and finds that she’s right. It’s the woman of her dreams that just walked past her. It’s like stars are erupting from Beidou’s heart when the thought sinks in.
Beidou turns to look away immediately, but she still sneaks a peek or two to see where Ningguang was going. Ningguang brushes some of her hair from her shoulder and it might just be Beidou but it’s as if she has a halo. Beidou wishes she was exaggerating. She goes to one of the benches and pulls her backpack onto her lap. When she opens it, she starts to rummage through her stuff. She looks a bit bummed after, though.
... She must not have an umbrella, Beidou thinks, because of the way Ningguang stares at the sky all gloomy, and her hand zips up her bag.
Beidou stares at her umbrella and tightens her hold.
“Now’s my chance...” Beidou breathes in and out. She desperately tries to calm her nerves when her heart is ready to explode in her chest and her stomach is riddled with giddy butterflies. “You can win this. You can talk to her...” she whispers to herself.
When Beidou looks back at Ningguang, Ningguang’s now standing up, feeling the raindrops in her hand. Beidou’s feet go on autopilot like they had a mind of their own, and she reaches Ningguang. Beidou, who now has her mind blank, stands awkwardly.
Fuck. What do I say?!
“Hey... princess,” Beidou sputters.
Ningguang turns to her. She looks Beidou, up and down, and says, “Hello.” Beidou begins to overthink, wondering if Ningguang is annoyed or bothered by her, but she blocks out those thoughts temporarily. She can win this. Having a crush isn’t supposed to be this difficult.
Beidou shows her umbrella. “You... don’t have an umbrella?”
“How did you know?” Ningguang asks.
“Er, well.” Beidou scratches her head. “I know you’re the kind of person who wouldn’t stay in school for too long. So. Lucky guess?”
Ningguang nods. “That’s right. I forgot mine.”
“Oh...”
A painful stretch of silence follows. Trying to save Beidou herself from the awkwardness, she asks, “Y-You wanna go home together?”
Ningguang turns quiet.
Beidou raises both of her hands in a panic. “Uh, no, I meant—I have an umbrella, and my house is near here, so...” That's a lie. Beidou doesn't even know where Ningguang lives.
“Sure.”
“Oh, that’s okay, I know you were—Wait. Sure?”
“Sure,” Ningguang says. “I’ll go with you.”
“You’re... You’re fine with me?” Beidou asks.
“Of course.” Ningguang pulls her phone out. “But I do have to send a message first. Do you mind waiting?”
“No!” Beidou says, a little too quickly. “No, not at all!”
“Good.” Ningguang types on her phone something, which only takes her, like, twenty seconds, and she pats Beidou on the shoulder which almost made Beidou’s soul ascend. It’s like that one touch can make Beidou feel like she’s won the most difficult challenges in life. “I’m done. Let’s go.”
Beidou, who is still in the middle of processing that, quietly opens her umbrella. “Okay...”
❒❒❒
It’s a long walk. A... dreadfully long one. Are the minutes starting to become like years or is it just because of the now awkward situation making Beidou regret her decision?
Beidou tightens her grip on her umbrella and walks alongside Ningguang. Elegant as ever, Beidou thinks. Meanwhile, I walk like I’m eighty or something... She straightens her back to copy Ningguang, only for her to hunch back again.
Beidou sighs. Should I talk? Or will it make this worse...? She bites her lip and attempts. “Hey, uh—” Before she can even speak, she takes Ningguang’s shoulder and pulls her in her direction, when Beidou hears a car beep and sees water coming their way. “Watch out!”
Both of them stumble, but fortunately, Beidou's hold on Ningguang doesn’t slip.
Ningguang looks at her. “You... scared me.”
“U-Uh! Sorry!” Beidou frantically lets her go. “There was a car rushing and—the water and uh, I don’t want you to get wet or anything!”
Ningguang stares at her for a bit. Beidou feels like running away.
But to her surprise, she hears laughter.
Ningguang covers her mouth while she unabashedly laughs at Beidou as if Beidou isn’t drowning in her misery just now. “You... You really are an interesting one. Though, I appreciate you not wanting me to get wet.”
She laughed... She laughed because of me! Beidou's heart is about to burst. An imaginary cupid snickers at her and shoots another arrow at her heart. “Um, yeah...” She smiles. “Sure...”
“Well. Let’s continue?”
“... Huh?”
Ningguang tilts her head. “Walking?”
“Oh, that! Yes, of course. Let’s go!” Beidou goes on autopilot, and they resume walking down the road. Beidou looks around and sees buildings she never saw before.
“Uh...” Beidou starts, getting worried. “Is this the right way?”
“Yes,” Ningguang says. “Didn’t you say your house is near mine? We’re almost there.”
Beidou scratches her head. “Ah, that’s... I mean it is near, but I forgot this part of town...”
“That’s strange for a chess champion to forget trivial things.”
Beidou turns her head. “You know I play chess?!”
“Yes, of course.” Ningguang raises a brow. “Why would I not? You are quite famous for playing basketball and beating another school, and I saw you play chess. You’re good at it.”
Beidou's mind reels. She can’t control the smile coming out of her lips.
“Though I have to say. You’re more sheepish than I thought.”
“Ah. That’s because...”
“Because?”
“Well... You’re with me,” Beidou says. “And to think that the princess knows me...”
“You know, I hate when people call me that...” Ningguang says. Beidou's face blanches.
“I’m sorry...”
“Don’t apologize.” Ningguang snorts. “I suppose it’s fine if it’s you.”
“So... it’s okay then?”
“Yes. But if anything, I would like it more if you call me by my name.” Ningguang turns to Beidou.
Beidou nods slowly. “Alright... Ningguang...”
❒❒❒
“I really appreciate you walking me to my home.”
The rain finally halted. They stop at a majestic, closed gate that makes Beidou’s jaw almost drop. It’s even adorned with gold and shiny things, plus Beidou can see the fancier mansion, that’s even bigger and shinier.
Beidou freezes in its glory. I know she’s rich but not this rich?! “Yeah...”
“Beidou.”
Beidou looks at Ningguang beside her, who is far closer than she anticipated.
“Wanna walk home together again sometime?” Ningguang smiles at Beidou which sends Beidou’s mind to malfunction.
“Oh...” Beidou blinks furiously. “Yeah. Yeah, cool.”
Ningguang keeps her grin and even laughs a little and Beidou starts to question her life choices. Ningguang, then, does the unthinkable and leans closer. She even touches Beidou’s hand. Beidou has to step back a little bit because of the small space between their bodies. “W-Wait...”
“Thank you. For the umbrella and walking me home. I would like to walk again with you.”
Cupid must be in a frenzy right now because multiple imaginary arrows are targeting Beidou’s heart. “... No problem.”
“Then, I’ll be going.” Ningguang waves goodbye and Beidou is frozen the whole time the automatic gate opens and Ningguang goes inside her home.
“What... just happened?” Beidou utters to herself.
❒❒❒
5:16 PM
beidou
hey uhhh kazuha? i got lost... can u go here
im near jade chamber mansion
kazuha
what??!!?!
why there????
beidou
ill explain later but first pls get me
lets buy some dinner too
❒❒❒
"I would like to walk from now on," Ningguang says, catching the attention of her driver, who's drinking tea with her right now.
"... Why is that?" Her driver puts the porcelain cup down on the table. He looks unnerved by Ningguang's sudden suggestion of walking. "Surely, it is faster to drive you to your school, ma'am Ningguang?"
"Don't worry. I won't fire you." Ningguang waves her hand and rests her chin on the palm of her hand. She smiles. "I just found a much better option."