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Asuka was awoken by the loud beeping of her alarm clock. She slammed her hand down on it as she sat up. A lot had changed since the Human Instrumentality Project. Most of humanity was accounted for, approximately 70% of the population. Some people were lost forever, some were seemingly saved by their transformation into orange fluid. Shinji and Asuka seemed to be the only ones to come out of it relatively unscathed though. Misato had been in a coma for the past year, Rei was MIA, no one really knew what became of her, at least no one was willing to say. For all they knew there was still a warehouse of Rei dolls rotting in old NERV facilities. Mr. Kaji was in the hospital for a long time, and if rumours were to be believed survived a second assassination attempt somehow. Asuka didn’t know what became of Shinji, and she had no interest in finding out. She had had more than enough of him, just thinking of him disgusted her, more than it used to.
Yet, she did find her thoughts drifting to him often, curiosity mostly, she knew his father was dead, Misato was comatose, he had no one again, did he just lay on the beach and die? She wouldn’t put it past the idiot. No, that couldn’t be it. Shinji had a knack for not dying no matter who willed it, even himself. The Japanese government was quick to hush her, as were the Germans, and even the Americans due to her father, they wanted her to be their trophy girl, their superhero against the angels, a tool to control the narrative, inspire hope and set aside any dissension. She wasn’t having it though, not for a minute. She got her pension, every month three of the most powerful countries in the world paid her a tidy sum not to spill the beans on all of the fucked up shit she was put through.
She couldn’t go back to Germany, there was nothing for her there. Her father was part of the 30% that was never seen after the Human Instrumentality Process, NERV was finally shut down completely, along with all other Eva and Angel related departments of most world governments, Japan included. Humanity had enough, if another angel attack came, another impact, there was truly nothing to be done about it. The world was healing, no, that word felt inappropriate now. The world was coming to terms, it was surviving, barely.
The whole world was draped with a melancholic hue, no one smiled anymore, not even the children. Asuka noticed that too, she didn’t consider herself a child anymore, not after what she’d been through. Everyone else did, it was obvious with how they still talked down to her. She didn’t blame them, they weren’t wrong. She was only fifteen, it still got on her nerves though. She didn’t fight it though, not anymore at least. A year ago she would’ve screamed the head off any adult who wanted to talk down to her, but not any more. She found herself feeling more and more like how Shinji used to look. She felt closer to him now, not just because of the Instrumentality Project, when all of humanity became one, this was different. They weren’t the same, just similar, and that somehow made her feel even worse.
Asuka was left in the ward of Mr. Kaji once again, he was the only adult she had any real connection to. Kaji treated her most like an adult, at least compared to everyone else, but even then he treated her differently to all the other women in his life. He didn’t flirt with her, he didn’t look at her like he did them. Asuka was very clearly special to him, precious, he cared about her more than himself.
Her days were monotonous, the same thing every day. Wake up, maybe eat, lounge around, go to bed. If they were lucky there’d be a TV Program on, something other than the news. There wasn’t much room for creativity anymore, nor was there any motivation. Most of what was on, in the limited hours that TV was available between frequent blackouts and power outages was pre-Second impact television, harkening back to a time Asuka never knew and felt no nostalgia toward. It felt almost like an insult, seeing the stuff they used to make. They were wasting their time on fantasies and fiction when she had to live like this? It was a sick joke.
Asuka’s only real joy came from academia. Kyoto University was the only college operating in the country, but being further north in the Nagano Prefecture in Tokyo-2 she couldn’t attend. Kaji said that they could try to relocate next year but she wasn’t sure she believed him. He had a government job, she didn’t know what though. Could be a secret new department, or maybe he was just a secretary. What she did know is that he worked a lot of night shifts. He came in the door while she was eating breakfast on the couch, watching the news on the TV. “Morning.” She said, not taking her eyes off of the screen.
Ryouji rubbed his eyes as he half stumbled his way to the couch, falling onto it next to her. “Hey kiddo.” He said, with a sigh. “Whatcha doing?” He asked, struggling to keep his eyes open.
Asuka had a notepad balanced on one of her legs, with a pen in one hand. “Transcribing.” She told him, “I don’t want to fall behind on my kanji.” She said. The notepad had scribbles of German and Japanese on it, she would switch half way between sentences, and even words sometimes. “Do you know this?” She asked, pointing at her paper, “I saw it in a headline but I couldn’t figure it out.” She told him.
Kaji looked over, “Oh, well, this means apocalypse, or end times, revelations you know? And this means after… and they’ve written it twice so, I suppose the closest translation would be post-post-apocalypse, does that make sense?” He asked.
Asuka nodded, writing down the meaning beside it. “I’m going to learn all the ones I don’t recognise.” She told him, “Did you get me that German-Japanese dictionary?” She asked him.
Kaji let out a groan, “Sorry.” He said, “Today, we can go and buy one later, just as soon as…” He interrupted himself with a yawn, “As soon as I close my eyes for two… seconds…” He muttered before falling asleep.
Asuka shook her head, and went back to eating and transcribing. After breakfast and the routine nine am blackout, she grabbed her Japanese dictionary off the shelf. She could only do so much with it, after all she couldn’t read most of the words, but it helped her get some of the easier ones, and a few kanji she could sort of remember but not quite.
Once she had finished she got dressed. She wore her old yellow dress. It didn’t feel quite right anymore, but clothes were expensive now, much more than before, and even her triple pension couldn’t quite afford to splurge on a nice dress. She was helping Kaji with rent every other month, and that was on top of utilities and food. She didn’t mind, she got a weird joy out of paying bills, but she knew it killed Kaji a little more every time he had to ask. Asuka preferred to save instead of buy, not only was it ‘more adult’ but it was secure, it made her feel like she was in control of her life at least a little bit.
Asuka could never say she got Misato until Kaji offered to take her out to a steak dinner a few months ago. She understood the significance of it now, why it was such a big deal when Misato offered that one time. She knew that he had to put away money for that one dinner, that it was a true luxury. It made her realise how spoiled she was, it made her hate who she used to be a little more. That might’ve been the best night of Asuka’s life, that simple steak dinner.
It was about ten when Asuka walked over to the sleeping Kaji. She didn't mind sitting and waiting for over an hour, to let him rest. She had gotten good at waiting, at least she thought so. She used to be really good at it, or bad depending on your view, right after the Instrumentality Project she could sit there and wait for hours, she wouldn't even notice it go by. She would blink and three hours would have passed. "Mr. Kaji." She said, "It's nearly ten o'clock."
Kaji slowly woke up, rubbing his eyes, “Shit, already? Alright.” He said as he forced himself to get up.
Asuka felt bad for making him go into town so tired, “We don’t have to go today.” She offered, “Or I can go by myself to buy it?”
Kaji shook his head, “It’s fine, I’m not that tired.” He lied, “I’ll just take a quick shower and then we can go, okay?” He said, walking to the bathroom.
Asuka nodded, the old her would have been over the moon. Kaji naked? That’d have been a dream. They were different now though, Kaji was more than a man to her, more than a potential lover, he was more than a friend, more than a brother or father or uncle. Asuka only had Kaji, and Asuka suspected he only had her. They relied on each other, and they were some of the only people in the whole world who understood what the other had been through. What it was like to look the devil in the eyes, to see death.
Even among the people who know about the Eva’s and Adam and the details of the Instrumentality Project, few had come as close to death as Kaji and Asuka that day. She would still occasionally get phantom twitches in her eye, she’ll go to rub it when she wakes up, she could still remember the pain. She saw Kaji closing the buttons of his shirt as he left his room. She wanted to look at his abs, but instead could only see the bullet scar on his chest. An inch up and it would’ve entered his heart. Apparently Kaji knew the assassin, she wondered if he missed on purpose. “Ready?” He asked, pulling on a jacket.
Asuka nodded, “Yea.” She said. They left the apartment to walk into Tokyo-2. Calling it a city wouldn’t be right, despite it being the capital city no one wanted to live there. It wasn’t unfounded, Tokyo-1 was a hole in the ground, and Tokyo-3 was ground 0 for almost all of the Angel attacks last year, no one blamed them for moving into more rural areas.
Kaji and Asuka walked past the empty skyscrapers, there was a market on, local shopkeeps took some of their stock outside to the streets to sell. Asuka walked up to the bookstore and greeted the shopkeep. “Did the book come in yet?” She asked.
“Yes!” The clerk said, “It came in the other day.” He told her, rooting around in a bag of books underneath his stall. He took out a small paper bag marked SŌRYŪ that had a book in it. He handed it to her.
“Thank you.” She said, as Kaji handed over the payment. “Have a good day.” She said, as they left. Asuka took the book out of the paper bag, throwing it in the bin. She opened the German-Japanese Dictionary on a random page.
“Is it good?” Kaji asked her, as they stopped in front of various stalls. Kaji grabbed a plastic bag and began to pick up some groceries. “We can get another one if you want?”
“Yea,” Asuka said, smiling up at him. “It’s great, thank you, Mr. Kaji.” She told him. They stopped in front of a clothing stall. Racks of clothes were put out to browse. Asuka closed her book and walked between the racks, her hand feeling the fabrics of the clothes.
Her hand lingered on a reddish-orange dress. It wasn’t a particularly nice looking dress, in fact Asuka didn’t really like it at all… but the colour. It was just like her old suit, the one that hung in her wardrobe gathering dust. Kaji stepped up behind her. “Do you want it?” He asked her.
Asuka looked at the price tag, and then up at Kaji, “It’s nearly four thousand yen?” She said, four thousand yen that Kaji didn’t have.
“It’s fine, Asuka, go on.” He told her, she could see in his face that he knew he couldn’t really afford it. She knew that it would probably come out of her pocket at the end of the month anyway, it always did. He knew it, and they both knew that the other one knew it. It was something that Asuka didn’t really understand, people would ignore things that were obvious to them for the sake of civility, to make themselves feel better. Asuka would’ve been fine paying for it by herself, but she knew that Kaji felt better when he could pay for it, it made him feel like a real guardian.
Asuka eventually nodded and handed him the dress, “Thank you again, Mr. Kaji.” She said.
Kaji paid for the dress, both of them felt a little bit of pain when he handed over the money. “You can call me Ryouji, Asuka. I know I’m not your father.” He said.
“I thought you Japanese were all about the formalities to your elders?” She asked him, picking up the dress.
Kaji laughed as they walked out of the market, “Elder? That’s harsh, I’m only thirty one, besides, it doesn't matter, we live together, we went through the whole NERV thing together, I think you, I,, Misato, Shinji and Rei are on a first name basis.”
Asuka noticed that the only people he listed were the people she knew or suspected to be alive, and Rei. It was especially evident when he didn’t mention Doctor Akagi, whom he was very close to. “Rei’s alive?” She asked.
Kaji’s face went a little pale. “Shit.” He muttered, “Don’t tell anyone I told you.” He said, as they walked down the streets of Tokyo-2.
“Where is she?” Asuka asked, “How many of her are there left?”
Kaji sighed, “Alright, alright, I’ll answer your questions.” He told her, “Want some ramen?” He asked.
Asuka nodded, they sat down at a small ramen shop. They sat at an outdoor table, and Kaji ordered two bowls of ramen. “So?” Asuka asked, “What happened to her?”
“After NERV was dissolved a council was formed to handle its dissolution and the aftermath, you, Rei, and Shinji were part of that aftermath. I took you in, it was the most logical solution but Rei and Shinji were… more difficult.” He explained. “Shinji is still in Tokyo-3, at least what’s left of it. He didn’t want to move out and there was no one else who could take him.”
“So you just left him there!?” Asuka asked.
“It wasn’t up to me, ultimately. Once Misato wakes up, providing she’s able, custody will most likely be transferred to her.” He said. “As for Rei…” Kaji let out a sigh, “The ultimate decision was to destroy the other shells and keep just one Rei, the one with the soul.” It was obvious that Kaji was incredibly uncomfortable with all of this. “The process is incredibly complicated, and most of the people who knew how to do it are dead or unwilling to cooperate so she’s still in stasis until they’re certain she’s stable.”
The bowls came. “Oh.” Asuka said, struggling to take it all in. “So, that’s what you do?” She asked.
Kaji nodded, “Yea, it isn’t a very dignified job but, there’s not many other people qualified for it.” He told her. “But, on the topic.” He said, trying to change the conversation into something nice. “I’ve been testing the waters about moving to Kyoto and the higher ups don’t seem against it.” He told her.
“Really!?” Asuka asked, getting excited, really excited, more excited than she ever had been. She had long since resigned herself to not going back to college but now she could taste it.
Kaji nodded, “No promises, but I’m going to put a formal request in soon.” He said, “With some luck we’ll make it there before the end of summer.”
“That’s great!” Asuka yelled, “So, you mean I can actually go to college again?” She asked.
Kaji laughed a bit, “Well, have you asked them yet? You said you were going to write to them, weren’t you?” He asked.
Asuka paused, “Shit…” She muttered, “I didn’t think it’d actually happen, not so soon anyway.” She said.
Kaji laughed some more, “How about this, we can both write our letters tomorrow. I’ll even help you with some of the kanji, speed up the process.” He offered.
Asuka nodded, “Sounds good, Ryouji.” She said, with a smile as they both started to eat their ramen. “So, what are you going to do in Kyoto?” She asked.
“Rei. Tokyo-2 has limited resources, Kyoto has more money, more people, more everything really, and they have less black outs. If we can work there we might be able to wake her up sooner rather than later.”
Asuka nodded, “And what then?” She asked.
Kaji looked a bit nervous at his next words, “I was going to offer to take her in.” He said, despite knowing that Asuka and Rei didn’t have a great relationship.
Asuka paused for a second, she ate a bite of ramen, “Cool.” She said.
“Cool?” Kaji asked, “Just cool?”
Asuka nodded, “Yea, I mean, we can’t just throw her out onto the street and if I could live with Shinji, I can live with her, as long as we don’t have to share a room.” She said.
“I’ll make sure to specify a three bedroom apartment in the transfer letter.” He told her, as the pair focused on their ramen on the cold summer night.