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Near Misses and Well Made Disasters

Summary:

Eli Vanto quickly started wondering who’s bright idea it was to put him in charge of an 18-year-old Jedi.

Notes:

Ezra suffers from Little Brother Syndrome where everyone he meets realizes he’s their little brother. It’s chronic and debilitating.

Ronan isn’t here because Ar’alani pushed him out the airlock a week after he arrived and also I didn’t want to write him.

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“The fact of our having Thrawn back is, of course, not to be known outside this room,” Ar’alani said to her assembled officers. “Same goes for the child he arrived with.”

The were gathered around a glowing table in Ar’alani’s meeting room. There were no displays, no non-essential systems. Eli was shocked that he had been included, though he supposed there was no way to leave him out. 

“Someone will need to watch the boy,” Ar’alani said. “I can’t have a child running unsupervised around my ship.”

Wutroow spoke up. “Surely Vah’nya could handle it.”

“It’s hard enough managing a sky-walker,” Vah’nya said. “And Un’hee is 6. Ezra is a teenager, one who doesn’t speak Chiss. I can’t be responsible for him, too.”

“So we need someone who speaks Basic,” Ar’alani said. 

Eli felt the moment all eyes turned toward him. “No,” he raised his hands in the air. “I can’t do it, I’m no good with kids.” He’d known a few younger cousins, but they’d all steered clear of him.

“You can’t be any worse than Thrawn would.” Which, yes, true, but that wasn’t a high bar.

“I have… other duties. A job?” He’d been recruited to the Chiss Ascendency for a reason, and it wasn’t taking care of children. He’d been very happy with his position as a data analyst, and he liked to think he was uniquely good at it. 

“Your duties can be covered by others.” Ar’alani said dismissively. Which, ouch. 

Eli felt himself losing the argument but he grasped for the final straw anyway. “I think he hates me?”

“It’s not you he hates,” Thrawn said. “Just the idea of what you stand for.”

“Thanks, that’s so much better.” 

Thrawn, as usual, made no acknowledgement of sarcasm. It was good to know that at least hadn’t changed. “It’s temporary, just until we can find a way to get him back.”

Eli winced. A lot had changed, a lot that Thrawn had no idea about. Wutroow, thankfully, said it for him. “That might be a while.”

Thrawn looked at him, eyebrows drawn together. “What do you mean?”

“You never had the eye for what was coming,” Ar’alani said. “Thrawn, things have… digressed since you were last in this part of space.”

“Digressed?” Thrawn asked. “It has been only a matter of weeks.”

“The ruling families are at war.”

“I see,” Thrawn said. He was clearly putting pieces together, updating his picture of the Ascendency. Ei wondered if he had any idea where the political lines would fracture or if he was still thinking of the best military strategy. “That would make navigation difficult.”

“Even with a sky-walker, it’s nearly impossible to safely navigate outside of our area of space. You’re lucky to have been picked up by us and not any of the ruling families.” Wutroow said.

“And you?” Thrawn addressed Ar’alani. “Which family do you serve?”

Ar’alani scoffed. “Truly, Thrawn, do you remember so little about me? I am like you. I don’t care for the fractures of the political families. I serve the Ascendency.”

“Of course.” Thrawn nodded. “If it would take too long, I suppose we could find other options for Bridger.”

“Like what?” Ezra interjected. “Find him a babysitter and leave him on Csilla?” 

“We could leave him at the nearest planet.” Wutroow suggested.

“You can’t just drop him somewhere,” Eli protested. “He doesn’t speak any local languages, he won’t make it a week.”

Thrawn looked at Eli calmly. “I survived.”

“You’re an adult,” Eli explained. “He has to—“ He looked at Thrawn, who was wearing the look that meant he was winning an argument. “You did that on purpose.”

“I was merely trying to convince you of something you already believed.”

“I can’t do this, Thrawn.”

“You can,” Thrawn said with all the confidence Eli had ever seen him use. And, well, Eli had learned not to question him. 

***

They’d made the decision to keep Ezra in the sky-walker quarters. It was easier to keep him hidden there, as it was designed to be separated from the rest of the ship. Thrawn had said it was the perfect place to keep him for many reasons, so that was where Eli went. 

Before Eli even made it through the door, Ezra was crowing toward him asking, “When do I go home?”

“Good evening to you, too,” Eli said as he waited for the doors to close. 

“Yeah, hi,” Ezra said like a bothersome afterthought. “When do I get to leave?”

Eli paused. This was going to hurt, he knew, and he really wished that someone else had come down to deliver the news. “You should probably sit down,” he said seriously. 

All the energy seemed to leave Ezra at once. He hunched in on himself and his face fell. He looked smaller, younger. “When am I going home?”

The tears in Ezra’s eyes told Eli that he already knew, but Eli took a breath to say it anyway. “You can’t.” 

“Why not?” Ezra said, somewhere between a cry and a yell. “Why not!”

“The Chiss are at war. If we send you anywhere else in Chiss space, you’ll be killed.”

“We made it here, didn’t we!” 

“And it’s a miracle you made it to us, and not anywhere else.”

“I want to go home,” Ezra yelled, his voice breaking on the last syllable. He realized it at the same time Eli did. He crossed his arms and turned away. “I just wanna go home.” 

“I’m sorry,” Eli said softly. He tried to approach Ezra smoothly, calmly. 

“No you’re not! I’m stuck here, and you’re not even trying?” 

“We’re trying everything we can,” Eli said. He placed a hand on Ezra’s shoulder and called it a victory that Ezra didn’t pull away. “If there’s a way to get you home, Thrawn will find it.”

Ezra sat heavily on the couch. “And if there isn’t?” 

Eli sat next to him. “Then we just… win the war, I guess.”

“Right, yeah,” Ezra said. His lip trembled. Eli could track the exact moment it became to much, the moment the exhaustion and emotion overtook him and the sob burst out of Ezra like a shot. “I want to go home.” 

“I know,” Eli said. He wrapped his arms around Ezra’s shoulders and let the kid burrow into him. Eli held him, ignoring the tears falling onto his shirt and the death grip on his jacket, until Ezra fell asleep.

***

Eli stayed in the sky-walker quarters all night. He’d laid Ezra gently down on the couch, placed a blanket over him, and contented himself to sleep curled in the side chair. 

He woke up uncomfortable but with the smell of caf under his nose. When he opened his eyes, Vah’nya was standing over him, smiling. “Good morning.”

“Morning,” Eli said as he sat up and took the cup from him. 

“Kids are up,” Vah’nya sat on the chair next to his. She wasn’t supposed to be a Caretaker; she was much more valuable as a sky-walker in her own right, but she was the only one left to do the job after Un’hee’s original caretaker left to join her family. 

A lot of personnel had left. Walking to his station sometimes felt to Eli like walking through a ghost ship. 

“Thanks,” Ei sat up and rubbed his eyes. He definitely should not have slept on the couch. 

The door opened and Un’hee walked through. She had one hand in Ezra’s and pulled him through the door behind her. 

Ezra looked at Eli. “She likes you,” he said in Basic.

“I wish she wouldn’t,” Ezra replied as Un’hee sat and pulled out a box of magnet toys. Ezra folded himself next to her. 

Un’hee, for her part, seemed completely unfazed by the fact that Ezra couldn’t understand a word she was saying. She launched into an explanation of the toys and how they worked, and then how magnets worked (which Eli knew she had bothered Wutroow into explaining). Ezra smiled and nodded along. When she paused for a breath, Ezra looked at Eli. “What is she saying?”

“She wants you to build with her. She likes starships,” Eli explained. “I can tell her to leave you alone, if you want.”

Ezra fixed him with a hard stare. “Don’t you dare.” 

Eli laughed. Vah’nya was staring at him with a small smile on her face. He cleared his throat. “He’s… adjusting. He likes her.” 

Vah’nya nodded. “That does make it easier. I wish there had been another kid around when I started with Un’hee.” She leaned back with a weary look on her face. Eli was reminded that she had been in the same situation a few months ago, when everything fell apart and she was the only one Un’hee trusted. “And you? How are you feeling?”

“I have no idea what to do with a kid all day,” Eli sighed. “Got any tips?”

“Honestly?” Vah’nya said. “I wish someone had told me to just make a schedule.”

“A schedule?”

“You know, like meal times, activities, schooling.”

“Right,” Eli turned to Ezra and said in Basic, “What kind of school were you doing?”

“School?” Ezra looked up. “I’m eighteen.”

“You’re…” Eli paused. He’d known plenty of people who enlisted at eighteen, plenty more who were fending for themselves before then. Ezra could probably have looked out for himself. Did Eli even need to be there? 

But Ezra didn’t speak Chiss and couldn’t be in ninety percent of  the ship. Eli knew the kind of trouble he’d tried to get in at that age, and he hadn’t been on a warship to do it. Besides, “I was still in school at eighteen.”

Ezra scoffed. “I haven’t gone to school since I was six.” 

Eli blinked at him a few times. “Since you were six.” 

“You know, Lothal, Imperial occupation, then the Rebellion. It wasn’t really a priority.” When Eli leaned down to hand his head in his hands, Ezra continued. “I mean, I know how to read.”

“What about math?” Eli looked up at him. “Did you learn math?”

“Kanan was in charge, and he stopped having adults at 13,” Ezra shrugged. “Didn’t seem to think it mattered.”

“Of course it—“ Eli had to stop to breathe. “You’re going to learn.”

“Why?”

“Because you need to know math?”

Ezra seemed to get defensive, for reasons Eli couldn’t understand. “Why?”

“For navigation!” Eli found himself almost-yelling in exasperation. “For data analysis and ship building! Ezra, everything is math.”

“If the Empire wanted me to learn math so bad, they shouldn’t have killed my parents.”

“They-“ Eli started a response but stopped when he processed what Ezra had said. “Your parents?”

Ezra clenched his jaw and looked away from Eli. “What did you think happened to me?”

“I just figured…” Eli shook his head. “I don’t know.”

“See? And you worked for them.” Ezra turned back to where Un’Hee was rearranging the magnets into what looked like a model of the ship. 

Eli stared at Ezra’s face. He thought of his parents, and Lothal, and the Wookie slave ship from so long ago. “I’m sorry.”

Ezra looked back at him. They held eye contact for a moment and Eli was afraid of what would happen if they looked away. “I forgive you,” Ezra said, and Eli hadn’t even realized he was asking for it. “I think anyone can change.” He searched Eli’s face for something. “Have you? Or did you just trade one evil empire for another.”

Eli wasn’t sure how to answer that one. He settled on saying nothing at all.

***

“How are you faring?” Thrawn asked when he came by to check on Ezra and Eli. Eli had no idea what he was spending most of his time doing, but over the three days since his arrival on the ship he’d come to find them no less than fifteen times. If Eli wanted to believe it was to come visit him, that was no one’s business but his own. 

“Fine,” Eli said. “I’m designing a math curriculum.”

Ezra groaned. “Do we have to?”

“We’ve been over this, Ezra, we’re doing it whether you want to or not.” 

“Are you even qualified to teach?”

“I have a degree in mathematics. I think I can handle it.”

Ezra looked at him like he was radioactive. “Nerd.”

Eli turned to Thrawn. “You see what I put up with?”

“You seem to be doing it quite well.”

“Yeah, sure. It helps that he likes spending time with Un’hee.”

“Perhaps he has the makings of a caretaker in his future,” Thrawn said. He turned his attention to Ezra. “Have you tried teaching her your tricks?”

Ezra’s eyes widened. “How did you…”

“You are both Force-sensitive. I guessed that you’d attempt such a thing.”

“Wait,” Eli raised a hand to stop them. He looked at Ezra and tried to find whatever clue he’d been missing. “Are you a Jedi?”

“Thrawn…” Ezra looked from Eli to Thrawn. “He told me not to tell anyone.”

“Lieutenant Vanto does not count. I trust him with every secret I have,” Thrawn said simply, like it was one of the many facts he built his life around. It was true, and Eli knew it already, but it fluttered in Eli’s chest and tried to force a smile onto his face. 

“Thank you, Thrawn,” Eli said and hoped it didn’t show too much. 

“It’s nothing that isn’t true,” Thrawn said. “I will leave you to it. If there is anything you need, do not hesitate to ask.”

Eli watched Thrawn as he walked out the door. Ezra watched Eli. “Ew!” Ezra exclaimed as soon as the doors had closed. His face scrunched up in disgust. “Ew. Thrawn? That’s disgusting.”

“What?”

“When we first met, I assumed you were here because you were kidnapped, or you got here by accident like I did. Then, you said you came here on purpose, and I figured you were just crazy. But no!” Ezra threw his hands up in accusation. “You’re in love with him!”

Eli balked. “What? I am not-“ he stopped, looked around the room in case someone else walked in.  “Shut up.”  

“Force, I can’t believe I missed it.”

“You can’t even add.”

“Yeah but I do have eyes. You’re disgusting.”

“It’s really not that big of a deal,” Eli said. He’d never talked to anyone about this, and he didn’t want to start with Ezra, of all people. 

“You’re as bad as Zeb!” Ezra yelled. “Worse, even!”

“Who’s-“ Eli started, but was interrupted by Ezra’s continued tirade. 

“At least Zeb waited until Kallus had left the Empire to get gross about him.”

“I was in the Empire.”

“Don’t remind me.” Ezra crossed his arms petulantly. “Thrawn?”

Eli resisted the urge to shove him. 

***

Three weeks later, Eli had been cleared to return to data analysis. More accurately, Ezra had been cleared to join him. 

They had a half-decent system going. Eli would work, and Ezra would cycle between meditation and schoolwork. It said a lot about both of them that Ezra got excited for a meditation cycle. 

It was while Ezra was supposed to be practicing division that Thrawn came to check on them. 

“It’s good to see you back at work, Lieutenant Vanto,” Thrawn said. 

“It’s good to be back,” Eli tried to ignore the faces Ezra kept making at him behind Thrawn’s back. “I feel useful again.”

“You were always useful,” Thrawn said. “And someone did need to watch after Ezra.”

“I would have been fine on my own,” Ezra interjected.

“No, you wouldn’t have,” Eli said. He looked back at Thrawn. “As much as I’d love to chat, I do have work to do.”

“As do I. Good day, Lieutenant Vanto, Ezra Bridger,” Thrawn nodded at each of them in turn.

“Bye, Admiral,” Eli said, a slight smile pulling on his face. Once the door shut, he dropped it and turned back in his seat with a huff. “If he calls me Lieutenant Vanto one more time, I’m gonna lose it.”

“Like in a ‘kill him’ way or a gross way?” Ezra said. “‘Cause I’m totally on board for one, and the other I’d rather not know about.”

Eli leaned his head back to stare at the ceiling. “We’ll find out when it happens.”

“Gross,” Ezra said, but without any of the usual gusto. 

Suspicious. Eli looked over at where Ezra was writing something on a piece of flimsy. Maybe not writing, because it looked like he was—

“What are you doing?” Eli asked accusingly. 

Ezra froze, obviously caught. “Nothing.”

“Show me that,” Eli moved to stand but stopped when Ezra started loudly protesting.

“Wait, wait, it’s not done yet! Just give me a minute.”

“What could you possibly-“

“Hold on!” Ezra lifted a hand.

“Okay, okay.” Eli said with his hands up. He wasn’t sure how powerful of a Jedi Ezra was, but he had walked in on the kid lifting Un’hee three feet off the ground and was not eager to experience that particular sensation. Not that he thought Ezra would hurt him, but it was better to just let the kid win sometimes. 

“Here, done.” Ezra held out the piece of flimsy. It had some sort of scribbles all over it. When Eli turned it, he saw the scribbles become a crude stick-figure drawing. Every color peeked outside the lines. 

“Is this supposed to be me?” Ezra pointed to the figure in a cowboy hat. “What’s with the hat?”

“Farmers wear them.”

“I was never a farmer.”

“I think you could rock it.”

“And this,” Ezra pointed to a blue figure in a boxy white shirt. “Is this Thrawn?”

“Yeah,” Ezra stood over Eli’s left shoulder to point at the image. “You’re holding hands, because you’re in love. And that’s me,” he pointed to a figure in the background. “I’m sticking my tongue out.”

“Because we’re disgusting?”

Ezra nodded. “See, you get it.”

Eli stared at the drawing for a moment. “I’m getting this framed.”

“You should. It deserves to be honored.” Ezra went back to his spot and threw himself into his chair. “Think we could sneak it into Thrawn’s collection?”

Eli rolled his eyes. “Do your math.”

“Do I have to?”

Eli threw a stylus at him. As Ezra protested loudly and emphatically, Eli placed the picture gently on the side of his workstation and smiled. 

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