Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"You always do this!"

"Do what?"

"Act all superior because you know how to do something and I don't."

Jungkook crosses his arms over his chest, taking a defensive stance, which is rich in Taehyung's opinion, since Jungkook is the one refusing to cooperate.

"I do not act superior," he says. He lifts one eyebrow, challenging. Taehyung wonders if he even realizes he's doing it.

"You're acting superior right now," he points out.

They hold eye contact for a long, tense moment. Taehyung pouts, and then finally Jungkook cracks. He sighs and drops his arms.

"It's just -- there's nothing that special about it, okay?" he says. "It's silly."

Now that Jungkook is relenting, Taehyung softens. He takes a step closer.

They're in Mari's room, and it's nearly an hour past her bedtime. Mari is in her crib, where she should be, but very much awake, which she should not be. They can't even get her to lie down.

She's sitting on her little bottom, watching them bicker through the bars. The low light of late evening turns Mari's purple room to a dusky lavender color, calm and soothing, and yet Mari has been obstinate about lying down to sleep all night.

"I don't care," Taehyung says.

He steps into Jungkook's space, lets his hands rest on Jungkook's hips just because he can.

"If it works, it works. Nothing you do can possibly make you seem any less hot to me, Jungkookie. Besides, the sooner Mari gets to sleep, the sooner we can..."

He tucks his body in close and lets it do the talking for him, nuzzling up to Jungkook's ear to play with the piercings with his tongue. He grins when he hears Jungkook's breath catch, and grins even bigger when Jungkook steps back away from him and tries to look like he's still annoyed.

"Fine," he says. "But you better not laugh."

"Promise," Taehyung says. "Show me the magic."

Jungkook scoffs and rolls his eyes, shaking his head, but he caves to Taehyung's whims, as he always does eventually, and lifts Mari from her crib.

Barely a week out from her first birthday, Mari seems to suddenly be growing at a rapid pace. It's incredible to watch her grow and change, even if it does still tug at Taehyung’s heart to know that Eunji should be here with them to watch it happen.

Still, he can't help the way his heart melts as he watches Jungkook lift Mari out of the crib and hold her easily, comfortably, against his chest.

Despite all his evident misgivings about exposing his secret method to get Mari to sleep, Jungkook has a telltale smirk on his face when he turns around to face Taehyung with Mari in his arms.

It's the expression that means he knows he's about to make Taehyung laugh and he's feeling smug about it.

"May I have this dance?" Jungkook says, directing the question at Mari, who gurgles at him.

Jungkook situates Mari so they're facing each other, with her against his shoulder, one big hand underneath her to hold her up, the other holding her own tiny hand in his. Her little fingers wrap around his thumb. And then they dance.

Taehyung's hand immediately comes up to cover his mouth, because he knows he's going to break his promise not to laugh.

Jungkook holds Mari and makes exaggerated, huge steps around the room in a goofy rendition of a waltz. It's over the top and exactly what Jungkook had said: silly. It's made even sillier by the fact that there's no music, not even similarly exaggerated humming from Jungkook.

He just steps and spins with Mari in his arms, moving much faster than Taehyung would have guessed, considering that this is meant to be Jungkook's secret method to get her to fall asleep.

Yet, it's immediately clear that Jungkook isn't just messing around. From her place against his shoulder, Mari's eyes begin to droop, and then her heavy head becomes too much for her to hold up on her own.

Slowly, like she's fighting with every scrap of her tiny strength and willpower, her head comes to rest against Jungkook's shoulder. As soon as it does, he releases her hand, bringing his own now free hand up to cradle her head, so softly, even as he continues to dance around the room.

Taehyung watches them both, completely consumed with love, until after just a couple of minutes, Mari's long battle against sleep is finally lost.

She goes completely limp and still against Jungkook, and he stops moving, carrying her back to her crib and laying her gently down into it, fast asleep.

He turns to face Taehyung with a grin that's somehow chagrined and self-mocking and proud all at the same time, until he sees that Taehyung is, in fact, laughing his ass off, as quietly as he can so he won't immediately wake Mari up again.

"Tae!" Jungkook scolds.

His smile morphs into a grumpy expression that just makes Taehyung laugh harder.

"You said you wouldn't laugh," he pouts.

"I'm sorry," Taehyung says, though the effect is diminished by the fact that he still can't seem to stop. "I'm sorry."

Carefully, he schools his expression back into one of calm amusement, rather than outright hilarity, though he knows the image of Jungkook waltzing around the room with Mari in his arms is going to stay with him forever, even if Jungkook never lets him watch it again. He can't wait to tell Jimin.

Jungkook is still looking grumpy and pouty, and it's hard to tell how much of it is real or how much is just him playing around, so Taehyung steps in close to him again.

"You're my hero, seriously," he says, which is true. "I thought she was going to be up all night."

"Your hero, huh?" Jungkook says, suddenly cocky again, preening under the praise and attention. He furrows his brow as though in thought. "Don't heroes usually get some sort of reward?"

Taehyung smiles, slow and easy as Jungkook's arms wrap around him and pull him close.

"Maybe," he says. "Have something in mind?"

"I have a few ideas."

"Oh really?" Taehyung asks, but instead of telling him what he has planned, Jungkook is already tugging him out of the room and down the hall.

#

In the week since Mari's birthday, Taehyung and Jungkook have done a lot of talking.

At first, they had intended to take things slow. Taehyung wouldn't lie -- that had been Jungkook's idea. Taehyung had been all in favor of taking things very, very fast. As far as he'd been concerned, they had both waited long enough already.

Jungkook, though -- reasonable, practical, logical Jungkook -- had insisted that they not rush into anything. Emotions had been high, there was already a lot going on between Taehyung's show and Mari's birthday, the upcoming New Year holiday, and Taehyung's birthday.

"I just -- I want to make sure you really want this," he'd said, before they'd even left the gallery on opening night. "I don't want you to feel trapped, or like you made the decision for some other reason."

Taehyung understands. He thinks the concern comes more from Jungkook's own insecurity, his fear that between his grief and his loneliness, the high emotions of everything that's been going on, Taehyung only thinks he wants something from Jungkook that Jungkook has known he wants from Taehyung for a long time.

He's afraid, in exactly the same way that Taehyung had been afraid, and for all the same reasons -- afraid of believing that he has something, that it's real and solid and lasting, only to then have it ripped away from him.

So Taehyung had promised him that his feelings are real, and that he isn't going anywhere, and he had agreed that they would take things as slowly as Jungkook wanted.

That hadn't stopped them from sleeping that night in the same bed -- Jungkook's this time -- and it hadn't stopped them from kissing either.

It had been chaste, at first. Taehyung had really tried very hard to respect Jungkook's wishes and keep his hands to himself, wanting to prove that he's as serious about this as Jungkook is himself, but Jungkook had been the first to cave in the end, and they'd spent much of that night lying in bed making out like horny teenagers.

Taehyung had found himself giggling into the kiss, unable to help himself, high on the giddy sensation of Jungkook returning his feelings, something he had believed, not long ago, to be so wildly outside the realm of possibility that he hadn't even let himself imagine it.

"What?" Jungkook had asked when he pulled back, unable to kiss through the giggles.

The look on his face had been so painfully fond that Taehyung didn't know how he ever could have missed it.

"I was just thinking that this is probably exactly what we would have done if we'd actually gotten our shit together as kids," he said.

"Imagine how smug Eunji would be right now," he'd said.

"What?" Taehyung said. "You knew she thought we should be together?"

Jungkook had laughed and rolled his eyes, exactly as he might have done as a teenager, or in any of the long years since then, only this time Taehyung could see in it the affection, the fond exasperation, instead of reading it as pure annoyance.

"How do you think Jimin knew about that? Besides, like I said, I was obvious. You were pretty much the only one who didn't know I had a massive crush on you, Tae."

Even now, a week after that conversation, Taehyung still can't really wrap his mind around the fact that Jungkook had been harboring secret feelings for him all this time.

"You weren't, like, pining for me this whole time though, right?" Taehyung asks, lying in his own bed with Jungkook now.

They're tucked close together beneath the covers. On the bedside table, the baby monitor is quiet, Jungkook's trick with the waltz proving itself effective, no matter how ridiculous it looks.

Their clothes lie abandoned and scattered around the room in a trail leading straight to the bed, because Jungkook's plan for them to move slowly hadn't really lasted more than a couple of days.

("We were basically already in a relationship anyway, right?" he had asked, a little breathless, and Taehyung, desperate and already clinging to Jungkook's arms to get him as close as possible, had nodded frantically).

In the bed, their legs are tangled together.

Jungkook laughs, but Taehyung can tell that he's laughing at himself.

"I wasn't pining ," he says. "I just had a crush and it never really went away. I mean, you're always around and -- you know, you're you, so."

Taehyung groans, burying his face in the pillow. As embarrassed as he knows Jungkook feels for having feelings for him all these years, Taehyung feels just as embarrassed for never noticing -- and for missing out on all that potential time with Jungkook, too, because he had been too far up his own ass to notice what an amazing person he is.

"Hey," Jungkook says. "Don't feel bad. I kind of think," he stops, visibly fighting through another wave of embarrassment himself, which is so cute that Taehyung can't help smiling at him in a way that he hopes is encouraging.

"I kind of think it worked out this way for a reason," Jungkook finishes. "Or like, this is how it's supposed to be."

Taehyung's smile softens.

"Yeah," he says. "You might be right, Jungkookie."

Another question pops into his mind then, and it's out of his mouth before he can think better of it.

"When did it stop just being a crush though?" he asks. "I mean -- when did you --" He cuts himself off, because he still can't quite truly accept the fact that he himself is genuinely in love, let alone that Jungkook feels the same way.

Even though he can't fully get the words out, Jungkook knows what he means. He flushes, but he also grins.

"Remember when you kept begging me to fuck you and I wouldn't do it?"

He asks it smugly, like the thought of Taehyung following him around for weeks literally begging him for it is a pleasant memory for him.

Taehyung scolds him and slaps playfully at his arm, which makes him laugh.

"How could I forget?" he asks. "It was torture."

"I seem to remember you enjoying yourself a few times," Jungkook tells him.

He's smirking again, and Taehyung thinks he would do anything to keep Jungkook looking so confident and sure of himself.

"Anyway," he goes on, "it was that."

Taehyung can't help it. He laughs, loudly, and puts his hand over his mouth to try to contain it.

"It was me begging for your cock?"

Jungkook rolls his eyes.

" No ," he says, "it was when I finally gave it to you. Or, I guess, right before that."

He sighs and breaks eye contact for a moment, his expression slipping into his thinking face, so Taehyung gives him time to gather his thoughts.

"I was holding off," Jungkook says, "because I was afraid that if we went there, I wouldn't be able to come back from it. Like, I thought, if we did that together, then I would really be in it, you know? I would love you too much. I thought, if we were going to do that, then I needed to know you felt it too, at least some of what I felt."

Taehyung feels his smile soften, powerless to stop it.

"I thought you said you didn't know about my feelings back then."

Taehyung hadn't even really known about his own feelings back then, although in retrospect they seem obvious, so maybe Jungkook could have picked up on them even before Taehyung was aware of them himself.

"I didn't," Jungkook says.

"Then why --?"

Jungkook takes a breath. His hand is resting on Taehyung's bare waist, so Taehyung feels it when his fingers start to fidget.

"That was the night you found me on the couch," he says.

"I remember."

It had been the night Taehyung had come home late and looked through the whole house for Jungkook before finding him curled up alone in the corner of the couch, tears streaming down his face.

It had also been the first time they'd truly talked about Eunji, how it feels to miss her every day, to be surrounded by her things and her life, her daughter and her favorite people, but for her to be missing.

"Well," Jungkook says, vulnerable again.

Taehyung tightens his grip on Jungkook's waist, just to let him know he's listening.

"After that," Jungkook goes on, "I knew it was already too late. I already loved you too much. Holding out wasn't going to help, it wasn't saving me from anything, and I wanted you so bad. Plus I knew you wanted it," he adds, returning some to the confidence from a minute earlier.

Taehyung laughs.

"Oh really? I couldn't tell."

He sobers quickly though, thinking of Jungkook all those months ago, already deep in his own feelings, not believing that Taehyung could or ever would feel the same way, trying to resist giving in to spare his own heart, but ultimately throwing caution to the wind and going for it anyway.

It sounds familiar, and the thought of Jungkook going through all the same thoughts and feelings that Taehyung had struggled so much with makes his heart ache.

"I'm sorry I put you through that," he says.

He holds Jungkook's warm, dark gaze, trying to show him how deeply he feels, even if he can't ever seem to describe it quite right with words.

"I should have just talked to you more from the start. I was just -- really, really scared, but I don't like that I let it get the best of me."

Jungkook shakes his head. His hand lifts off of Taehyung's body to instead cup his face.

"I get it, Tae," he says. "I was scared too."

"Guess we're just lucky our friends put up with us through all that, huh?"

Jungkook laughs.

"Are you kidding? Jimin loved it."

"Sadistic little fuck." Taehyung says it with a fond smile, and it makes Jungkook laugh all over again, harder than ever.

Taehyung is pretty sure Jungkook laughing -- his wide, toothy grin, his eyes wrinkled with delight, the cute little scrunch to his nose -- is the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

#

"Regret teasing me yet?" Jungkook asks -- hypocritically, Taehyung notes, because he's teasing right now.

They're in the bathroom at the gallery, door locked (Taehyung thinks) on the mostly-empty but nevertheless open gallery beyond. Jungkook has Taehyung pressed up against the counter, tucked in close against his back. They're facing the big mirror and Taehyung's slacks have been hastily shoved down low around his hips.

Jungkook has one hand on Taehyung's cock and the other wrapped around his throat, putting just enough pressure on it to make Taehyung feel a little dizzy, probably more from arousal than anything else, but it's heady either way.

He uses his grip on Taehyung's throat to hold him up, so his back is forced to arch and he has to abandon himself, surrendering his body to Jungkook to hold him up.

They've only been at this for a few minutes, but knowing that the gallery and all its patrons (however few there might be mid-afternoon on a Wednesday) are just on the other side of the door, and feeling Jungkook so strong and sure right there behind him, has Taehyung hot and wanting like he's been here for ages.

He shakes his head no, mostly because he isn't sure he can trust his voice just at the moment.

He's in this predicament because he'd just found out from Namjoon that the person who bought his self-portrait had been Jimin, of all people, and he had been expressing his surprise and confusion to Jungkook – Jungkook, who had reacted by blushing furiously and refusing to meet Taehyung's eyes when he asked him about it.

"Jungkookie," Taehyung had said, "what is it?"

The reaction had been so extreme that he'd thought at first there was something wrong. It was only after several minutes of needling that Taehyung finally got Jungkook to confess that Jimin did buy the self-portrait, because he loved it that much and wanted to hang it in the tattoo studio, but that as soon as Jungkook knew Jimin had bought it, he'd insisted that Jimin let Jungkook buy it from him.

This had startled a loud laugh out of Taehyung.

"But why?" he asked. "It was already going to be in the studio anyway."

Jungkook had gotten all pouty about it and confessed -- in a mumble so quiet Taehyung could barely hear him -- that he didn't like the idea of someone else owning a painting of Taehyung, even if it was Jimin and even in the painting would be hanging in his own studio.

Taehyung had been teasing him mercilessly ever since (naturally) -- or at least he had been, until Jungkook had dragged him into the bathroom, and now here they are.

Still, Taehyung can hardly say he regrets it, especially when Jungkook's hand on his cock is apparently meant to be his punishment.

"You'll have to think of a more effective way to punish me," he says, his voice wrecked against Jungkook's ear, "if you want me to regret it."

"Oh this isn't your punishment," Jungkook says.

His own voice is just as low as Taehyung's. He sounds dangerous, and it sends a shiver racing down Taehyung's spine. Jungkook doesn't elaborate though, and for another minute, Taehyung is able to focus on the feeling of his hands on him, his body against Taehyung's back.

Jungkook's hand strokes him at a slow but steady pace while his other keeps a firm grip on his throat. It's an intoxicating feeling, being held by Jungkook like this, suspended in pleasure, and Taehyung loses himself to it easily, trusting that Jungkook will bring him to wherever he wants to go.

After a minute or two, he hears Jungkook's voice again, low and close against his ear.

"So beautiful, Tae," he says. "Look at you."

Taehyung doesn't think he means it literally, until his hand tightens just so on his throat and he says, "I said look."

Taehyung forces his eyes open, though it's difficult to work through the soupy swirl of pleasure building. When he meets his own eyes in the mirror, he can't quite hold the sound that slips out of him.

They do make a pretty picture, he'll give Jungkook that. His tattooed fingers wrapped around Taehyung's cock look so thick and strong. Taehyung meets his eyes over his shoulder through the glass, and he feels that moment of eye contact like an electric spark. He gasps, he can't help it, and both of Jungkook's hands squeeze him harder in response.

"Shh," Jungkook whispers. "Wouldn't want anyone out there to hear you, right, Tae?"

Taehyung shakes his head, but the thought of anyone on the other side of the door hearing them and realizing what they're doing has him hot under his skin in a way he never would have guessed.

He's had public hookups before, in bars and clubs where that sort of thing isn't necessarily uncommon, but this feels so different -- in the light of day, in the place where he works, the place that currently has his own paintings hanging on the walls.

It doesn't matter that he knows there's probably no one out there, or that even if someone does come in, they won't be able to hear him and Jungkook in the bathroom. The idea of it alone is enough to set him on fire, and clearly Jungkook knows it.

"Or do you want to be caught?" Jungkook asks him. "You like to be looked at, I know that. You like the idea of all those people out there hearing you, knowing how much you want it?"

Taehyung swallows. He feels so much closer to the edge already. Other than to keep feeling Jungkook's hands on him like this, to keep hearing Jungkook's voice, he doesn't know what he wants. To be good, to be bad -- all he knows is what Jungkook wants, and that it would be so easy to give it to him, or to refuse it.

Deliberately, he nods his head once, curious to see what Jungkook will do.

Right away Jungkook's eyes narrow where they're holding Taehyung's in the mirror. His hand releases Taehyung's throat, and Taehyung lets out a brief noise of disappointment before Jungkook's hand is closing over his mouth instead. Taehyung's own eyes go wide, and his entire body seems to throb.

"Too bad," Jungkook says. "That's for me. Mine."

Somehow Taehyung seems to melt and to tighten all at once. He nods, feeling frantic all of a sudden, wanting Jungkook to know just how right he is even though he can't say the words out loud.

He's so close now, and in an effort to let Jungkook know, his hands reach back to find purchase wherever they can touch, on Jungkook's hips first, then his arms, squeezing. He whimpers desperately and the sound is muffled against Jungkook's hand covering his mouth.

"What is it, Tae?" Jungkook asks, mocking and a little mean in a way that probably shouldn't be hot but really, really is.

He knows what Jungkook wants, knows it as clearly as if he'd actually asked for it, and something about the last few moments has changed Taehyung's whole outlook on the situation.

Suddenly it seems like the most important thing in the world is that he be good, that he give Jungkook exactly what he wants, even as the thought of it makes his whole face heat up. His cock leaks in Jungkook's hand nonetheless.

His head is tipped back against Jungkook's shoulder, and finally he loses the will to keep looking, his eyes slipping shut.

"What do you want?" Jungkook prompts him again, teasing -- always fucking teasing, and the worst thing about it is that it works.

Taehyung does his best to speak even though his desperate I want to come gets mangled and muffled beyond recognition against Jungkook's hand. He knows exactly what he would see in the mirror if he were able to force his eyes back open.

He would see himself tense and needy, pink all over from how embarrassed he feels and he isn't even sure entirely why -- something about trying to speak and not being able to, something about Jungkook taunting him, goading him into it, making him do it when he knows that he can't.

He doesn't really get it, but he also doesn't care. It's good, even the strange sense of shame in it is good, because he knows it's what Jungkook wants, and suddenly the idea of coming isn't just a pleasant thought, it's an immediate inevitability.

"You want to come?" Jungkook asks. "Is that what you said?"

Taehyung nods, frantic to make himself understood because at this point, he knows it's happening, and it's happening soon.

Jungkook's voice is pitched low when he speaks, probably to make sure it doesn't carry out of this little room and into the gallery, although it seems less and less likely to do any good.

Even with Jungkook's hand pressed firmly over his mouth, and even though he tries to control it, Taehyung's own voice is climbing in pitch and volume -- and despite his apparent concerns, Jungkook doesn't seem bothered by that at all.

"But Tae," Jungkook says -- and Taehyung just knows that he's smirking, he can hear it in his damn stupid, perfect voice -- "we're in public."

Taehyung groans because he knows where this is going, and sure enough, Jungkook's hand on his cock speeds up just a bit, just enough to be noticeable.

"You can't do that here," Jungkook says. "It would make a mess. You wouldn't want to make a mess at Namjoon's gallery, would you?"

Taehyung doesn't answer, can't do anything more than whine, pathetic and desperate because Jungkook's words and his low, lovely voice against Taehyung's ear, it's all making the situation worse and he knows it.

Please , he tries to say, caught against the warm palm of Jungkook's hand. Trying to speak, trying to breathe, is making Jungkook's hand wet with spit, but Jungkook doesn't seem to mind, if he even notices.

"No," Jungkook says, either because he can understand Taehyung despite the hand over his mouth, or because at this point it's easy to guess what he's saying.

What he doesn't seem to understand (or maybe he does -- maybe he does and that's the whole point) is that he can forbid it as much as he likes, but if he doesn't stop then it's happening either way.

Taehyung can't express that right now though, and even though he knows he's playing right into Jungkook's game, he can't help himself.

He can't exactly beg in this situation, but he does his best, trying to keep his voice low enough that it won't be heard outside this room, but also trying to communicate the urgency of his need as clearly as he can to Jungkook.

He's asking for permission, not for the ability, because Jungkook hasn't stopped stroking him or even slowed down once. His please please Jungkook I'm gonna come please is reduced to nothing more than muffled whines and moaning, but as always, Jungkook gets the point.

"Come on, Tae," he says. "You can do this for me."

But Taehyung can't . He wants to, but he can't. He shakes his head, trying to tell Jungkook that he's really trying but it just isn't going to happen if he doesn't stop touching him.

His arousal is hot and liquid in his belly, and it's growing steadily, taking over the rest of him more and more with every stroke of Jungkook's hand, every warm pull.

In a last desperate effort to communicate more effectively, he finally opens his eyes again. It's a mistake.

He meets Jungkook's eyes in the mirror, and he looks almost as wrecked as Taehyung does. His eyes are wide where they're locked on Taehyung, and he looks completely transfixed. There's color high on his cheeks, giving away the fact that he feels every bit as hot as Taehyung.

Taehyung shifts slightly, pressing back with his body as well as he can in this position, and for the first time he feels Jungkook against his ass, just as hard as Taehyung is in his hand.

It's an incredible feeling, to know that he has that much of an effect on Jungkook, to know that as easy as it is for Jungkook to ruin him like this, Taehyung has the same impact on him in return. It doesn't do anything to lessen the urgency of his situation though, and in fact holding Jungkook's heated gaze through the mirror only drives his desperation higher.

He is going to come.

There's no way to stop it, he knows there's no way to stop it, but with Jungkook's eyes on him, he does his best to try.

His belly tenses, his whole body tenses with the effort of trying to hold it back, to hold on, hold it in, and he lets go, at the same time, of whatever last shreds of pride had remained to him as he begs and whines against Jungkook's hand.

His pleas go ignored. Of course they do.

Jungkook holds his gaze for another moment longer, and then tightens his hand on his cock, deliberate and intentional and there's nothing else Taehyung can do.

He tries as hard as he can for another second, two, and then he's coming, spilling across Jungkook's hand and the counter and the sink. Jungkook's other hand tightens against his mouth as he moans helplessly.

Their eyes stay locked through the mirror the whole time. Jungkook looks about as far from disappointed as it's possible for someone to be.

He keeps stroking Taehyung, slowing his pace a bit finally, until his cock has stopped drooling and he's started to shake a little from the overstimulation. Then he finally releases it, moving his hand away from Taehyung's mouth a second later.

All at once, Taehyung sags back against him, the tension dropping out of him, and Jungkook quickly wraps an arm around him to hold him up.

"Made a mess," Taehyung says, unsure if he's blaming himself or Jungkook at this point.

Jungkook hums in agreement. His eyes finally leave Taehyung to instead survey the come splattered across the counter and dripping down into the sink.

For all his filthy talking earlier, Taehyung knows it isn't really a big deal. The countertops are ceramic and easy enough to clean up.

"Beautiful mess," Jungkook says idly. "I should make you clean it."

Taehyung would and Jungkook knows it, but instead of having him do it, he uses his own clean hand to gently move Taehyung out of the way so he can grab a handful of paper towels.

He cleans off his own hand first, and then wipes up the rest of the mess and tosses the paper towels in the trash. After he washes his hands, he steps back into Taehyung's space and pulls him close.

"What about you?" Taehyung asks, biting his lip.

He still feels a bit tender and raw, but good, and he wants to make Jungkook feel good too. But even though Jungkook sighs so sweetly when Taehyung palms him over his jeans, he shakes his head.

"I definitely can't do the things I want to do to you here," he says. "It's okay, I can wait."

Taehyung pouts.

"I could have waited too, if you weren't so mean."

"You like it when I'm mean," Jungkook says with a grin, and fuck, but Taehyung really does.

"Did you even try ?" Jungkook asks, teasing again, since Taehyung is pretty sure it's obvious just how hard he did try.

Taehyung smacks Jungkook's chest, ignoring the way that it probably hurts him more than it hurts Jungkook.

"You know I did," he says.

Jungkook pulls Taehyung even closer, buries his face in the space between Taehyung's neck and shoulder, and says, "I know. You were so good."

Despite all the work they've been doing together over the last week, trying to be nicer to themselves, trying to set old anxieties and insecurities aside to give themselves their best chance, Taehyung feels an unpleasant little squirm of nerves in his belly.

He might have ignored it once, pushed it aside, not wanting to make it Jungkook's problem, but they've both agreed to be more open with each other, even -- especially -- when they're feeling unsure of themselves, so he forces himself to speak his mind.

"I wasn't," he says. "I didn't do what you said."

He knows, at some level, that Jungkook doesn't really care about that, at least not exactly. It's sex, and it's simultaneously more and less complicated than that.

He could talk himself down from this spark of anxiety he's feeling, it would be easy to do, but he's trying to be more open, more vulnerable with Jungkook in ways other than physically, so he lets his worry, however small, into his voice and allows Jungkook to hear it.

And when Jungkook pulls away from him enough to look into his eyes again, and his hands come up to cup Taehyung's face, Taehyung lets him see that he is worried about it, even if only a little, even if it feels silly to him.

"Tae, no," Jungkook says. "I don't care about that."

His voice is soft and his eyes are so open and earnest, and he sounds so sure of himself that it's impossible not to fall into it a little bit.

"This is just a way for us to play and have fun. I just want to feel close to you. I never want anything we do together to make you feel bad, and if it does, I want you to tell me so we can fix it. Did this make you feel bad today?"

Taehyung shakes his head, and it's the truth. He'd been having fun the whole time, and he knows Jungkook is right: that's the whole point of all this, to have fun and feel close to each other.

He'd gotten that from this, it had been so good in the way that only Jungkook seems to be able to make anything feel good, but he can't help the lingering sense of having disappointed him in some way by being incapable of following instructions.

"It didn't make me feel bad, Jungkookie," he says. "I liked it. I just -- I feel like sometimes I can't do anything right."

Jungkook nods and seems to think about this for a moment. It makes Taehyung feel safe and cared for, knowing that Jungkook isn't just brushing his feelings aside but really thinking about them, considering them and what they mean for Taehyung, before responding. He finds himself relaxing more before Jungkook even answers him.

"I've never thought that about you, Tae," Jungkook says. "I think you're smart and talented and funny. You're kind of a genius, and you're the most handsome person I've ever seen, and I love you."

Taehyung's heart stutters, because it does that every time he hears Jungkook say those particular words, which has been a lot over the last week.

"You could never not be good enough, Tae. Even if you make a mistake, I know you always try your best. If you do something different than I expect, that's a good thing. It's just another way for me to know you better. That's all I want, to know you and to be with you and to make you feel good."

Taehyung swallows past the sudden swell of emotion rising in his chest.

"That's what I want too, Jungkookie."

Jungkook smiles his big beautiful smile, and as it always does, it makes Taehyung return it. Even when he had been at his most heartbroken, convinced that he could never be enough for someone as good as Jungkook, that smile had never failed to get a response from him. There's simply nothing like seeing Jungkook happy.

It is powerfully affecting, and Taehyung leans into that now, trusts that Jungkook wouldn't lie to him, and so if he's saying this, it's because he means it. It's because it's real, however difficult that might be for him to accept sometimes.

They tidy up their clothes, only getting distracted once or twice by kissing each other against the counter, and finally step back out into the gallery.

Taehyung is here in the capacity of the artist on display, rather than actually working a shift -- not that that stopped Namjoon from asking him to do little things around the gallery from the moment he'd arrived.

Jimin, Hobi, and Yoongi had taken Mari for the day -- they had started hanging out all together since Hobi and Yoongi had been in town for Taehyung's show.

Taehyung had kind of thought that Jimin would eat Yoongi alive, but Yoongi seems strangely endeared by him, and Jimin and Hobi get along like they've known each other for a decade.

Since they have Mari for the day, Jungkook had decided to tag along with Taehyung to the gallery. Taehyung hadn't realized that having him here would be quite so distracting.

It's the middle of the afternoon on a weekday, so the place isn't exactly packed. Privately, Taehyung has always liked the gallery best in moments like these, when the sunlight from the day outside streams in and reflects off the pristine white walls, the glossy floors, filling the whole place with the calm, bright white light of wintertime all year round.

It's surreal to stand in the middle of someplace so familiar and see his own paintings on the walls. It suits them, he thinks with an ember of contented pride glowing in his chest.

They look good all together, steeped in the light of day, picking up the gold accents that move like a thread connecting each piece. It will be strange, after all these months working on them, to see them scattered, going off to different homes all over the country, maybe even all over the world, but it isn't a bad feeling.

Taehyung finds that he likes the thought of knowing that his work -- his art -- will exist outside of himself somewhere, and he knows that no matter how far they go, they'll always be connected to each other, and to him.

Without meaning to, he's found himself standing in front of the piece that began the whole collection, the portrait of Jungkook holding Mari.

It's impossible for Taehyung to look at it and not love it. It's impossible to look at it and not feel the love that went into it. Even the things that as an artist he would normally see as imperfections seem perfect to him, because it's Jungkook, after all.

In the painting, his expression is one of peaceful sleep. Every detail is painstakingly rendered, from the hair on his head to the tattoos on his hand where it's holding Mari against his chest, the little pout of his lips to the tiny spots on his nose, his neck, the one just off-center below his bottom lip.

Beside him, Jungkook's expression is thoughtful. It may once have looked guarded to Taehyung, but when he turns to look at Jungkook now, he sees only open vulnerability, curiosity, interest -- the same interest that, now that Taehyung can recognize it, he knows he's been seeing on Jungkook's face for years.

He hadn't known what to do with it, once. A long time ago, Jungkook’s interest had made him scared, and in his fear he lashed out. Taehyung understands that.

Really, he'd forgiven Jungkook for all of it so long ago now -- forgiven, but not forgotten. He hadn't realized how much he had still been carrying. He hadn't realized how much a younger Jungkook's words had aligned with the things he unconsciously told himself.

It's that damage, the damage he's inflicted to himself over the years, that he needs to face and deal with now. It's difficult, but he wants to do it.

"There's no price on this one," Jungkook says.

In the gallery, he always speaks low and quiet, like he's in a library. It's sweet.

"There isn't," Taehyung agrees.

Jungkook turns away from the painting to look at Taehyung instead.

"Why?" he asks.

You know why , Taehyung might have said, before. But Jungkook deserves to hear it, from him, so even though it's difficult to put all of his messy, scattered thoughts into words, he does his best, for Jungkook.

In some ways, the answer is simple. Taehyung hadn't wanted to part with it. He hadn't wanted this painting in particular to be whisked off to some far corner of the world. He hadn't wanted to not be able to see it anymore.

The other paintings, they're special to him, but in a way they're only an expression of feeling, the love and affection he feels for the people in his life described on the canvas for other people to see and witness and maybe understand.

They aren't the feeling made tangible, but only recreated. They are and always have been intended for others, as a way to share what Taehyung thinks and feels in a more perfect form than he would otherwise be able to share it.

The portrait of Jungkook is different. It isn't something he wanted to show to other people. It's something he needed to show to himself. The painting isn't a description for the benefit of others, it's a window into his own heart.

"I couldn't let anyone else have this one," he says.

He's still thinking it through, trying to find words that will work to explain what he means. He takes a deep breath and just tries, knowing that Jungkook will appreciate the attempt, even if it doesn't make sense to him.

"There's too much me in it," he says.

Jungkook's lip quirks up into an almost smile, something like a smirk except that it's soft and fond and Taehyung can feel the love in it.

"It's a picture of me though," Jungkook says, sort of asking, sort of teasing.

Taehyung meets his eyes and nods.

"Yes," he says.

Jungkook holds his gaze for another moment, maybe thinking through Taehyung's answer, and then he melts. The smirk flows into a real smile and he steps in closer, but it's Taehyung who leans in to take the kiss.

They separate a moment later when they hear the telltale sound of the gallery doors opening -- a soft swoosh of winter air sweeping in from outside and the light scuff of feet on the welcome mat.

As the resident artist and also currently the only employee on the floor, Taehyung moves away from Jungkook and tries not to feel too disappointed about it.

He steps around the corner and stops short, grateful suddenly that Jungkook has followed behind him. He wants to grab for him and cling to him. For half a second, he has a ridiculous, impossible urge to hide behind him.

Daehyun and Soojin have stepped into the gallery, and they're standing just inside the door, looking elegant in their sleek winter garments, seeming far superior in every way to Taehyung, who they're staring down from across the room.

For several long seconds, no one says anything.

In that time, Taehyung's mind goes completely blank. He has no idea what he expects them to do or say. He hasn't spoken to or heard from them since Mari's party, and frankly he's been avoiding thinking about them as much as possible, giving all of his attention to their granddaughter and their son.

Finally, it's Soojin who breaks the silence. When she speaks, her voice is hard, not cold necessarily, but not warm either -- not that either of Jungkook's parents have ever been especially warm people.

"We came to see your show," she says.

There's some sternness to her, as there nearly always is, but Taehyung recognizes something in it that he probably wouldn't have been able to see before getting to know Jungkook so well.

Beneath the hard exterior is something soft, some vulnerability that she likely feels baffled by and doesn't want to expose.

She's wary. She's nervous, unsure of her welcome, and even though it doesn't erase everything Taehyung has been through with the two of them over the last nine months, it does reach him, it touches him, and it makes him want to extend to her some of the same understanding he's learned to give himself recently.

There isn't a long silence after Soojin speaks, but in the short one that follows, Taehyung feels more than sees Jungkook move, stepping forward toward his parents.

Instinctively, Taehyung knows what he's going to do, that he's going to step in and speak to them, get a read of the situation, try to handle it on his own, because that's just who he is. It's in his nature to want to be helpful. But Taehyung has to do this himself. So he reaches out and puts his hand on Jungkook's arm, stopping him.

Jungkook responds to the touch immediately, just as attuned to the little motions and touches of Taehyung's body as Taehyung is to his. He stops, and when Taehyung steps around him, Jungkook doesn't do anything to get in his way.

"Thank you for coming," Taehyung says.

He doesn't get very close to them. Some instinct holds him back, as though they're stray cats on the street and if he approaches them too quickly, he'll scare them off. He gives them a little bow, figuring that he should at least start out as respectful and polite as possible, showing them that he still values their presence after everything that happened at the party.

He knows that they were unkind, even cruel in some ways, and he doesn't want to fail to address it. He also knows that they're in pain. He knows how much they must miss Eunji. That means something to him.

On top of all of that, they're Jungkook's parents too, Mari's grandparents. They're people that Taehyung has loved and had in his life for a long time.

"I'm sorry you weren't able to see Mari at her birthday," he tells them, because it's the truth.

Part of the reason he'd wanted to have the party in the first place had been so that the people in Mari's life would be able to see her and catch up with her.

Ultimately, it had been their own decision to come late, but Taehyung can recognize that it was likely a difficult day for them just as it had been for him, and he is sorry that things hadn't worked out differently. But he won't apologize for anything else.

He had done the best that he could. It was a difficult day for him too, and he had still done everything in his power to make it a good day for Mari, something that her friends and family would be able to remember as a positive experience despite Eunji's loss.

He takes a deep breath, and then he says what he knows he has to say, for himself.

"I understand that this has been hard for you. I know you think that Eunji made a mistake, and Mari should be with you. I get it."

Beside him, he's aware of Jungkook shifting on his feet, antsy like he's nervous and wants to speak up, but he respects Taehyung's wishes and doesn't say anything.

"Sometimes I even agree with you," Taehyung admits. "But for her own reasons, Eunji wanted me to do this, and I respect that. And -- Daehyun-ssi, Soojin-ssi -- I love Mari, so much. I can't even tell you how much."

He pauses for a moment, trying to organize his thoughts, and as he does, he feels Jungkook move closer to him, resting a hand low on his back where Daehyun and Soojin probably won't even notice it, but where Taehyung can feel it, fortifying him, giving him strength.

"Eunji made her choice, and I'm just trying to honor that by loving Mari as much as I can and giving her the best life that I can. I've never thought that you aren't good enough for her, and I don't think Eunji thought that either.”

He takes a deep breath so he’ll be able to keep speaking steadily.

“I think she just knew -- maybe, she just knew that Mari and I would need each other, and that we would be good for each other. I really hope you can understand that, because Mari and I -- we would both love to see you more, and have you around more often. I just want you to know that I'm doing everything I can to give Mari a good life. I love her, and I love Eunji, and I love --"

He stops himself just short of saying Jungkook , only because they haven't talked yet about telling their families, so instead Taehyung says, "your family. I still want Mari to be a part of it. I would like to be part of it again too."

Daehyun looks for a moment like he's going to say something, but Taehyung has a little more he needs to get out before he's finished.

"But if we're going to be able to do that," Taehyung says, "I need to know that you accept me and respect me, and my place in Mari's life, because Mari and I are family too."

It's quiet for a long moment after that. In fact, it's quiet for a while, because neither Soojin nor Daehyun says anything in response to Taehyung's little speech.

His heart begins to sink, and he can practically feel Jungkook tensing up at his side, but then Soojin offers him a tight little nod. Daehyun glances at her, as though making sure he's reading her right, and then he nods as well.

They step around Taehyung and Jungkook, and if they notice the way their son is clinging a little bit to their late daughter's best friend, they don't say anything. They move deeper into the gallery and Taehyung watches them go.

He feels better, lighter, having gotten all of that off his chest, and it feels good to have stood up for himself rather than letting Jungkook fight this particular battle for him. He'd like to think that, over the last few months, he's learned the value not only of accepting help when it's offered, but also of knowing when he needs to take care of something himself.

Jungkook pats his back, maybe not wanting to draw attention to himself or what's going on with them while his parents are still within earshot, and it makes Taehyung bite back a smile.

For a little while, Daehyun and Soojin meander around Taehyung's show, looking at each painting in turn and giving them all long moments' worth of consideration. Taehyung and Jungkook hold back, letting them have some space to view the paintings and to think about everything Taehyung had said.

They spend several minutes standing in front of Eunji's portrait. If either of them says anything, Taehyung doesn't hear it, but they stand close to each other, Daehyun's arm around Soojin's waist, and Taehyung is pretty sure he sees Soojin wipe at her eye once.

Even though part of him is tempted to see their reactions to the rest of the show -- and one piece in particular -- he doesn't follow them around.

He and Jungkook stay in the front area of the gallery, close to the door, so Daehyun and Soojin can enjoy the show (if they are enjoying it) in peace, without worrying about him watching them and expecting any particular reaction.

As a result he doesn't see them when they come across the portrait of Jungkook and Mari, and he's a little disappointed but also relieved.

When they emerge from the room where most of Taehyung's show is displayed, they have the same stoic expressions Taehyung is used to seeing on them, but they walk up to Taehyung and Jungkook rather than skirting around them to head straight for the door.

"It's beautiful work, Taehyung-ah," Daehyun says.

He holds out his hand for Taehyung to shake, which he does after a half-second of stunned hesitation.

"You're very talented," Soojin agrees.

There's no warmth in either of their tones, but just the fact that they not only came to the show after all, but that they're now complimenting it feels like such a massive step forward that Taehyung feels warm anyway.

"Thank you," he tells them, with a little bow.

For a moment, they linger, their eyes passing from Taehyung to Jungkook and back again as though they're both trying to figure out what's going on there. It almost makes Taehyung grin, but he holds it back.

"Jungkook-ah," Soojin says.

She steps forward and wraps Jungkook into the stiffest, most awkward hug Taehyung has ever seen, and for the first time it seems like a miracle that Jungkook managed to grow up in a penthouse with these people for parents and not take even longer than he had to find a way to express the warmth and natural affection that Taehyung now knows he possesses.

Daehyun gives Jungkook the exact same handshake he'd given to Taehyung, and Taehyung has to fight not to roll his eyes.

Still, when they step back, Daehyun says, "We'll invite you all for dinner soon, when we've got a spare evening," and Taehyung recognizes it as the peace offering it is.

"That would be great," he says.

Soojin gives him another one of those tight little nods, and then they leave the gallery together.

Taehyung turns to Jungkook in time to see him breathing a sigh of relief and visibly relaxing from a strangely rigid posture.

"That went well," Taehyung remarks lightly, and it makes Jungkook laugh.

"Definitely could have been worse," Jungkook agrees.

"You think they know we're --" fucking , is what he almost says. But they had been doing that before. This is different. This is intentional, deliberate.

Now their feelings are out in the open and they're not just stumbling into something out of a desperate, heady mix of lust and secret emotions that they can't even process in their own heads, let alone aloud to one another.

Now they're building something, intentionally moving forward together, stepping into a future together, even if they're still working out the details.

They had always been doing more than simply fucking, really, but they're doing a hell of a lot more than that now.

All of this hangs in the air between them, unspoken not because either of them is too afraid to face it, but because it's all been said already.

They meet each other's eyes, and Jungkook grins in a way that somehow seems teasing and self-deprecating all at once.

"Between how obvious I apparently am and that painting, I think they probably got it," he says.

Taehyung laughs and shakes his head, rubs his forehead in an over dramatic display of chagrin until he has Jungkook giggling.

"Let's go home, Jungkookie," he says, very aware of the fact that Yoongi, Hobi, and Jimin are keeping Mari until morning.

Jungkook's expression shifts as Taehyung's words register, and Taehyung watches and understands every minute change, like colors that spark and fade into one another, communicating everything he feels as plainly as Taehyung's paintings.

#

At home, the house is starkly quiet. Taehyung feels Mari's absence the same way he would feel her presence, except that it stands out more because he isn't used to it.

His heart pangs once in his chest, missing her even though he just saw her a few hours ago, but he knows she's with people who love her and who will take good care of her, and he can't deny that having the house to themselves, just him and Jungkook, has its appeal.

Usually there's always the chance that Mari will interrupt whatever they're doing, though typically they wait until she's asleep to do anything, partially to avoid just that problem arising.

Now, though, she's off on her own, and there's nothing and no one that could get in their way. Taehyung doesn't waste time, doesn't even let Jungkook make it past the living room before he's latching onto him, grabbing his arm so he stops, which he does immediately, turning to Taehyung to see what he wants, attentive as ever.

"You know," Taehyung says, "you never did punish me for coming without permission."

Jungkook's brow furrows.

"Tae, I told you --"

"It’s just playing, right?" Taehyung asks.

He bites his lip, knowing it will draw Jungkook's attention, which it does. When Jungkook's eyes flick back up to meet his, Taehyung makes sure he's doing his best puppy eyes.

It hits Jungkook, that Taehyung is asking because he wants it, and his confused, concerned expression quickly shatters into a wide smile.

In a second, Jungkook has Taehyung turned around and bent over the back of the couch. Taehyung hears his own sharp intake of breath, feels his face heat up, clutches at the fabric of the couch to ground himself because Jungkook always makes him feel like he's about two seconds from flying away from the earth entirely.

Jungkook shoves Taehyung's pants and briefs down and then he's spanking him, slapping his ass just like the first time, not hard enough to hurt but deliberately enough that there can be no denying the fact that he's being spanked for misbehaving -- not only that, but that he literally asked for it, which Jungkook has no issues reminding him.

He keeps it up until Taehyung is hard and begging into the couch cushions, even though he doesn't know what he's begging for.

Jungkook teases him for that too, laughs when he asks what it is that Taehyung wants so badly and Taehyung can only moan in response, and that just does something to Taehyung that he can't explain, turns him frantic and desperate and makes tears prick at the corners of his eyes, but it feels so strangely good.

Then before he knows it, Jungkook is on his knees behind him, licking him open and Taehyung is so needy at this point that he goes easy.

Jungkook doesn't even need to find any lube to slip the first two fingers into him, and Taehyung moans, loud and obscene, because he can, because he's past being embarrassed about it -- or, rather, he's past caring about being embarrassed.

"Fuck, you really do want it," Jungkook says.

Taehyung takes advantage of the fact that Jungkook has pulled away slightly to turn around. He grabs Jungkook's shoulders and pulls at him until he gets the message and stands up.

"Are you done punishing me now?" Taehyung asks, breathless and probably flushed. He's sure his hair is a mess and he most likely looks ridiculous, but Jungkook is looking at him like he's the most beautiful thing in the world.

He nods, wide-eyed, as though if he keeps his eyes open, he can drink in more of Taehyung.

"Good," Taehyung says. He grabs Jungkook's wrist and pulls him around to the front of the couch.

With quick hands, he lifts Jungkook's shirt off of him, shoves his pants down so Jungkook has to laugh as he steps out of them, and then pushes Jungkook down onto the couch.

He gets himself out of the rest of his own clothes and climbs onto Jungkook's lap. Jungkook's hands immediately go to his waist, but Taehyung ignores him for the moment, digging around between the cushions until his hand finds what he's looking for.

Triumphantly, he pulls a half-empty bottle of lube and a line of condoms from inside the couch, where they've ended up after the two of them have fooled around in here enough that Jungkook figured they may as well be prepared for it.

Taehyung has learned to appreciate Jungkook’s pragmatic approach to such things.

He tears open one of the condom wrappers and slides it onto Jungkook, slicking him up just as quickly. Then Taehyung is sinking onto him at a slow but steady pace.

Jungkook's hands clench around his waist and Taehyung's heart leaps knowing that he's making Jungkook feel good.

Somehow the pace shifts after that. Jungkook's arms find their way around Taehyung's waist, pulling him so close that he can barely move, so that rather than giving Jungkook the ride of his life as he had intended, he's forced to move only in subtle shifts, rocking and grinding in his lap. He finds that he doesn't mind.

Jungkook holds him close, buries his face in the juncture of neck and shoulder. When Taehyung rolls his hips, Jungkook is startled into a gasp, mouth opening against Taehyung's skin, and then his tongue is there, his teeth lightly nipping, and Taehyung is suddenly breathing much harder than he had been a moment earlier.

His own arms wrap around Jungkook's shoulders, fingers finding their way easily into his hair and twining there in a grip that might be a little too tight for him, but which Jungkook seems to love, judging by the groan he lets out when Taehyung gives it a gentle tug.

They have the house to themselves, there's no threat of interruption, so they take their time. Despite the cold outside, the space between them is warm. They move together without urgency, softly seeking their joint purpose but caring more about enjoying each other than reaching any predetermined end.

They kiss, open and messy and slow, and Taehyung sees swirls of molten color that he knows will just be waiting at the tips of his fingers the next time he sets paint to canvas.

When Jungkook comes, Taehyung clings to him, holding him as tightly as he can so he can feel every shiver, every shudder as it ricochets through Jungkook's body and into his own.

He savors every sound that spills from Jungkook's lips, and when Jungkook wraps a hand around Taehyung a moment later, Taehyung comes with Jungkook still inside him and doesn't try to stifle any of his own reactions, feeding them to Jungkook through their still-unbroken kiss.

After, they linger, connected and unwilling to break the connection, both of them over-warm but unable to pull away.

Taehyung feels himself drifting, but he doesn't do anything to stop it. The strength of Jungkook's arms around him, the feeling of him everywhere that goes beyond just a physical sensation, it's all too much to resist, and lets himself fall easily into sleep.

#

Taehyung wakes up sometime later to the warm glow of the lights on the Christmas tree dancing in front of his eyes.

At some point he had either slumped, or Jungkook had laid him down onto the couch. Jungkook himself is lying wedged between Taehyung and the back of the couch, his head on Taehyung's chest.

He's awake already, his eyes big and bright where they're fixed on Taehyung, and as Taehyung slowly steps into proper consciousness, he realizes that he's awake because Jungkook has woken him.

"Hmm?" he hums by way of asking why Jungkook had wanted him to wake up.

"It's snowing," Jungkook says.

His voice is low, almost a whisper, and it makes Taehyung wonder if he had only just woken up himself.

Taehyung turns his head without jostling Jungkook and looks out the big windows into the backyard.

They've slept long enough for the afternoon sun to have disappeared, and the only lights in the house are those on the Christmas tree, so it's easy to see out into the deep blue of the backyard, where sure enough the first snow of the year is falling gently.

The dying grass has already been covered in a fluffy layer of it, like a soft blanket, and suddenly all Taehyung wants is to touch it.

He grins and sits up, which is only possible with Jungkook lying against him like this because Jungkook realizes what he's about to do and pushes off of him at the last second.

Taehyung gets up from the couch and starts bustling around the house. It doesn't even occur to him to ask if Jungkook will go along with him. Somehow he just knows he will, probably because Jungkook has spent the last several months indulging his every whim and fancy.

He gathers up some of his thickest, warmest socks, pulls both of their winter coats back off of the hooks by the door, and then digs out hats and scarves and gloves from the coat closet in the hallway. Half of everything, he dumps on an amused Jungkook.

When Jungkook sees Taehyung bundling himself up, he sighs but follows suit, just like Taehyung had known he would.

In less than three minutes, they're both wrapped in coats and scarves, hats pulled down low over their ears. They lean on each other in the doorway to put their boots on, and then pull their gloves over their hands even though inside the house, it's still warm and Taehyung is starting to sweat a little.

With all of this finally done, he pulls Jungkook out by the hand and drags him into the backyard with a giggle that he can't quite suppress.

Jungkook looks at him and shakes his head, but he's already grinning -- that perfect, nose-scrunching grin that makes Taehyung's heart squeeze, like Jungkook's got both fists holding tightly to it, because he does.

Jungkook looks so pretty in the falling snow, lit only by the warm glow of the Christmas tree on the other side of the windows, that Taehyung's breath catches in his throat and he feels more than a little overwhelmed. Already Jungkook's cheeks and nose are going pink with the cold. Taehyung thinks he might die from cuteness overload.

He throws himself down into the snow on the ground. It takes Jungkook by surprise and he giggles, which only makes him even cuter. It's ridiculous.

No wonder Taehyung had clung for so long to the idea that he couldn't stand Jungkook. If he had allowed himself to truly see the real Jungkook past his image of him as an aggressive, overcompensating teenager, he would have been embarrassingly in love a long time ago.

Jungkook joins him on the ground after he stops laughing, and Taehyung makes a snow angel to show him how to do it, which he does. Taehyung is sure that Jungkook's comes out best, even though he insists he's never done it before and neither of them sit up to check.

Taehyung stays on his back but turns his head to look at Jungkook, feeling himself melt all over again. Jungkook is lying closer to the windows, so the light from inside spills prettily across his face, making his eyes sparkle.

Big, fluffy snowflakes catch on his eyelashes and Taehyung finds himself wanting to kiss them away like sugar, feel them melt on his lips, and then he remembers that he can just kiss Jungkook whenever he wants now, so he does.

When he pulls away, Jungkook is smiling at him.

"What?" Taehyung asks, all soft, smiling helplessly back.

"I was just thinking," Jungkook says, pausing for a moment before meeting Taehyung's eyes and continuing on.

"I've just had these feelings for so long," he says, that same sense of chagrined self-deprecation coming over him that often does when he talks about his apparent crush on Taehyung.

"It doesn't feel real that you actually have them too. That we're --"

He breaks off and sort of gestures between them, or that's what Taehyung assumes he's doing. He stops his movement before he does anything else, and he doesn't say more either. It's hard to tell since his cheeks are already pink from the cold, but Taehyung thinks he might be blushing.

"Well, we are," Taehyung tells him. "And it is -- real, I mean."

Taehyung feels himself smiling again. He just can't seem to help himself.

"I think Eunji knew," he says.

"Eunji knew the whole time," Jungkook says.

Taehyung understands that he means Eunji knew about his crush on Taehyung, so he says, "About me, I mean. I think she knew I had feelings too, way before I did."

He thinks again of Jimin telling him that Eunji had always thought Taehyung and Jungkook would end up together. He doesn't know if she can have any sense that she'd been right, wherever she might be now, but if she can, he hopes she feels satisfied with herself.

He only realizes he'd gotten lost in thoughts of Eunji, still gazing at Jungkook's sweet, flushed face, when Jungkook says, "Taehyungie-hyung."

Taehyung shakes his head to clear it, refocusing and meeting Jungkook's eyes.

"Hmm?"

"I was thinking. I know you only moved in here for Mari, because you wanted her life to be the same as Eunji would have had it."

Taehyung bites his lip but nods. It's true that this isn't the kind of place he'd ever imagined himself living.

It's not what he would have chosen for himself if it weren't for Mari, and even then, he knows he'd moved into the the house -- Eunji's house -- mostly out of his own need to make everything about Mari's life as "normal" as it could be after she lost her mother, and because he'd had so much going on already.

Bringing Mari into his own apartment wasn't going to work, and trying to find a new place while also learning how to be a parent for the first time had just been way too much to handle all at once.

"So I thought maybe,” Jungkook says, “since there are two of us now, and it's not like we need separate bedrooms anymore -- maybe we could look for a new place."

Jungkook is looking away from Taehyung now, not meeting his eyes, and Taehyung realizes it's because he's nervous that Taehyung will say no, even though his heart is pounding in chest and he's starting to feel warm again despite the snow still falling over them.

"I guess that might be moving kind of fast?" Jungkook goes on. "But I mean, we've already been living together, and if we get someplace that's really ours, we could be closer to the gallery and my shop, and we could get a place where you could have a studio right there at home, so you could paint whenever you want, and you could be home more often, and maybe we could get someplace that has a real backyard, so Mari would have somewhere to play and maybe we could even get a dog, you know, when we're ready."

"Jungkookie," Taehyung laughs, putting him out of his misery. "I would love that."

He realizes as he says it that it's the truth. Before Jungkook, he'd never really thought about leaving this house.

It's come to feel like home to him, in certain ways. He's comfortable here, and he's been able to imagine Mari growing up here, himself growing older here. He can picture himself with Jungkook here too -- in fact, it's easy, since they've spent the entirety of their more congenial relationship in it.

But there's no doubt that it still feels to him like Eunji's house, and for the first time, as he starts to try to build a life with Jungkook, and to imagine what that might look like -- what he wants it to look and feel like -- he knows that he wants them to have a place of their own.

Eunji will always be with him, with Jungkook, with Mari. They don't have to cling to the material remainders of her life in order to hold onto her.

She'll always be a part of their lives and their relationships, part of what made each of them who they are, the piece that brought them all together. Letting go of her house or her furniture or her laundry detergent could never change that.

"Really?" Jungkook asks.

"Really," Taehyung grins.

Jungkook breathes a sigh of relief, like he really thought Taehyung would say no, and it highlights again just how much Jungkook has had his heart on the line this entire time.

Taehyung feels a brief pain in his chest, but he chases away the guilt. He's resolved to make up for the lost time by showing Jungkook every day just how loved and appreciated he is, how special a person Taehyung knows him to be.

"I want a little dog though," Taehyung says, imagining Mari with a cute, tiny puppy.

Jungkook scrunches his nose.

"A big dog," he says, pouting just enough to make Taehyung laugh, entirely because he knows that Jungkook is serious and will actually pout his way into getting exactly what he wants.

Taehyung folds immediately. How could he not?

"Both," he says. "One of each."

Mollified, Jungkook's pout melts into a smile.

Taehyung's heart flutters -- literally flutters in his chest, like a tiny baby bird shaking off the snow. He feels it, warm and alive and trembling with anticipation.

With the money he's made from selling so many of his paintings, and how well Jungkook is doing with his own business, he knows they'll be able to find a place that not only suits their needs, but where they can both feel happy and at home, someplace where they can raise Mari and give her everything she could ever need or want -- someplace where they can make a future together.

He looks again at Jungkook's face, knowing that he never has to stop himself from looking again. He lets himself be taken with it, just because he can.

The snow caught in his long, pretty lashes, the pink flush on his round, happy cheeks, the little dot under his lip that Taehyung wants to spend the rest of his life kissing.

"Jungkookie," he says, sounding a little breathless, because he is. "I love you."

Jungkook gazes back at him just as intently, and Taehyung watches as his expression shifts from open wonder to that old arrogant cockiness, something that seems so much softer now that Taehyung knows everything behind it.

"I know," he says, and before Taehyung can do more than smack at his heavily-bundled chest indignantly, Jungkook is pulling him back down to kiss him, right there in the snow.

Taehyung lets him, because of course he does. He wants everything with Jungkook, after all.