Work Text:
It was the same thing almost every day.
They went to the riverbank after school just to hang out on days they didn’t enter the tv.
They lay in the grass and talked to each other like no one else was in the world and was just them.
And every time, it felt like Yosuke’s insides was burning.
There would be times when their hands made contact for just a couple of seconds, but to Yosuke, it felt like a lifetime.
He felt sick.
And he didn’t know why.
He started to believe that it had something to do with Yu. It made a lot of sense to him. Yosuke only felt this way when he was around Yu.
He didn't know what to call this feeling.
The burning ache. It felt like he was on fire.
His heart hurt.
Yosuke wished that he could tell someone how he felt, but who could he tell?
Yosuke didn't even know how he felt. Did he love Yu or was he just jealous of him?
He could tell Teddie, but he didn't think that Teddie could quite understand what he was feeling.
He could tell Kanji, but something told Yosuke he had burned that bridge a long time ago with his behavior during the camping trip.
Yosuke felt bad about that, he really owed Kanji a million apologies. He didn't really care if Kanji would forgive him or not, he just wanted Kanji to know that he was sorry.
Yosuke was a fool. A mean homophobic fool, and now it felt like he was paying the price for his actions.
Yosuke lay on his bed at home, trying to ignore his homework and the thoughts of Yu that kept creeping up into the back of his mind.
Yu's soft smooth skin and his beautiful grey eyes.
He wished he could touch Yu. He would let Yu touch him wherever he wanted.
He didn't feel like he should, but he slowly pulled his jeans down and began palming himself through the material of his boxers.
He felt guilty. Really really guilty.
But he also felt good. Really really good.
He probably shouldn't be having...thoughts like this.
Thoughts of Yu and his naked body and Yu kissing him and gently biting him on his neck and letting Yu touch him everywhere and.....
He finally pulled his cock out, setting it free into the cold air of his bedroom.
He stroked himself slowly, grateful that no one else was home.
Because he didn't want to hold himself back.
Oh, God.
Ohmygod.
Oh.
Oh.
He came just from that.
He felt dirty.
And he also felt even more guilty than he had before.
He jacked off to thoughts of his best friend.
And now he felt miserable. Desolate.
Dirty and gross and wrong.
Yosuke didn't know how he was going to sleep tonight.
Or ever look at Yu the same way ever again.