Chapter Text
The cool night air felt refreshing on Steve’s overheated skin. They made their way back to the bike in silence, but the air seemed to crackle between them. Just their hands brushing had Steve’s heart pounding faster as they mounted the bike again. This time Bucky scooted right up against him so they were pressed together hips to shoulders and Bucky’s thighs were molded to Steve’s own.
The ride passed both more quickly and more slowly somehow this time, and despite his excitement, Steve’s nerves ratcheted up to 10 as he approached the house. He went through the motions of covering his bike slowly trying to give himself some time to calm down, but Bucky finally lost patience grabbing his hand and dragging him away. Inside the house it felt like they’d turned the heater on and the air was thick with tension. The set of Bucky’s shoulders told Steve he was nervous too which actually helped some. He went to the couch and dropped down as though they were going to do nothing more than watch a movie.
“Turn those lights down while you’re hovering over there.”
Steve reached for the dimmer, still hesitating. As much as he wanted to kiss Bucky again, he was terrified of where it would lead and whether he would mess it up somehow. He wondered if maybe he should put on some music. Sam had once referred to his Marvin Gaye record as “baby-making music,” so maybe that would be appropriate. Or maybe it would be cheesy. He wasn’t sure.
“Enough stalling. Come over here.”
Steve discarded the music idea and instead steeled himself to head over to the couch. This would be fine. He could do kissing, and he had faith that Bucky could take care of the rest. He had no reason not to trust him. He finally went over to the couch and sat closer to Bucky than he ever would have dared before. Just his nearness had sweat gathering on the back of his neck. He tried to rub it away with the sleeve of his sweater in case Bucky wanted to put his hand there again.
“Don’t worry, I like you all hot under the collar.”
Steve laughed nervously, still embarrassed at his body’s stupid reactions. This was even more charged than before they’d kissed in the tree. Bucky was removing his jacket and tossing it on the love seat and Steve’s skin prickled.
“You too. I like the sweater, but I’ll like it better off you,” he said, leering at Steve.
Steve complied and then sat there feeling like a bump on a log not knowing what to do with his hands or where to look.
“We don’t have to do anything tonight if you’re too nervous. I know today’s been a lot. We can just watch a movie if you want.”
“Don’t wanna watch a movie. I just don’t want to mess this up.”
“You’re not going to mess it up. We’re just going to kiss. If anything else happens, it happens.”
“Sorry, I know I’m kind of killing the mood here.”
“You’re not. I don’t care that you’re nervous. Just lean in and kiss me like you did before.”
“Why don’t you lean in and kiss me ?” Steve countered, surprising himself with his flirtatious tone.
“Mmm you wanna switch it up already, huh? I can do that.”
Bucky turned towards him and pulled Steve somehow even closer so that their legs were tangled together and their faces were inches apart. Instead of kissing him though, he reached out and cupped Steve’s jaw rubbing his thumb against it. His thumb brushed over Steve’s lips and suddenly Steve felt bold again and gave Bucky’s finger a gentle swipe with his tongue. Bucky’s eyes widened at the contact and Steve could see the lust in his eyes clear as day. He moved his other hand to the back of Steve’s neck and he shivered at the feeling of the cool metal against his skin.
“Sorry, sometimes I still forget,” Bucky said, looking apologetic.
“No, it’s fine. Better than fine. I like it.” Steve remembered the dirty thoughts that he’d had in the shower about Bucky’s metal hand.
“You like it? You’re not gonna tell me you have a kink about the metal arm, are you?” he teased. Steve’s look must have given him away though. “Really? Well that’s unexpected.” His smile was tinged with relief. Clearly he’d been afraid that Steve would be put off by his arm.
“It’s not a kink,” Steve said, not entirely sure that was the truth. “It’s just part of you and I like all of you.”
Bucky didn’t say anything to that, but Steve could tell his words had had the desired effect. Bucky brought his hand up to the back of Steve’s neck again, this time with more certainty. The tips of his metal fingers scratched at the base of his skull and Steve let out a sound that definitely wasn’t a purr. Apparently spurred on by the sound Steve made, Bucky leaned forward again. Just when Steve thought he was going to kiss him, Bucky ran his nose across Steve’s cheek inhaling deeply as though he was trying to memorize Steve’s scent. He continued nuzzling his face and dipped his head to give his neck the same treatment.
“Stop teasing,” Steve mumbled.
“You like it,” he answered, but he cupped Steve’s jaw and leaned into him again. He seemed to be savoring the moment before their lips touched the way Steve had before their first kiss. Gently he brushed his lips against Steve’s, a barely there touch that still sent a rush through Steve’s body. He went in for another kiss, longer and firmer, but still decidedly chaste. Steve wanted him to get on with it, but he’d resolved to let Bucky take the reins so he sat there and submitted to Bucky’s teasing. Bucky finally started kissing him in earnest, pressing into him gently and pulling back again, each time pressing more firmly until he nipped at Steve’s bottom lip and coaxed a little gasp out of him. Steve parted his lips and let Bucky deepen the kiss. His tongue swiped across Steve’s lip and he opened his mouth further, encouraging his exploration. And it was an exploration once Bucky finally slipped his tongue into his mouth. He sought out Steve’s own tongue and gave it a tentative swipe that had Steve moaning in earnest. This seemed to be what Bucky had been waiting for because he gripped Steve’s neck tightly and put more force into the kiss. It felt like he was trying to drink Steve in and Steve let him and met him eagerly. They traded increasingly hot kisses until finally it felt like Bucky was tongue fucking his mouth.
Steve had heard the expression before, and it had honestly sounded messy and unpleasant. The reality of it was anything but. He opened up and let Bucky take everything he wanted from the kiss and when Bucky pulled away, breathless, Steve leaned forward chasing after more. He was breathless too, but he didn’t care. Oxygen felt less important than their mouths being together. He clutched at Bucky’s shoulders and brought their lips together again feeling hungry for it like he never had before. Bucky leaned back laying down on the couch and bringing Steve with him so they were sprawled out with Steve on top of him. In this position he could feel Bucky’s hard length pressing into him and belatedly realized he was just as hard. At that moment that seemed secondary to exploring Bucky’s mouth though. Steve tried to mimic what Bucky had done to him with his tongue and got a moan out of him for his efforts. The sound rumbled through Steve’s chest and he felt a flare of pride at having done that.
Suddenly he felt Bucky’s unyielding metal arm snake around his waist and before he knew what had happened, he was flat on his back with Bucky looming over him. Shock and arousal shot through him. He’d never suspected he’d like to be manhandled that way, but now he was harder than he’d ever been and it seemed like a more pressing concern than it had before. Bucky made a sound like a growl and dove for Steve’s mouth again managing to attack him with finesse somehow. He ground down against Steve and then it was his turn to growl as his erection pressed against Bucky’s hip. Then it was a flurry of hands and tongues and grinding. Bucky shifted so that his leg was between Steve’s and started rocking against Steve’s thigh as Steve arched up to grind his cock against Bucky’s leg.
“Shirt off,” Bucky managed to mumble against his mouth.
“You too,” said Steve, sounding like he’d run a mile in his old body.
Bucky leaned back onto his knees pulling Steve up with him and wrenched his shirt over his head so hard Steve swore he heard stitches rip. He grabbed the hem of Bucky’s t-shirt and pulled at it just as eagerly until Bucky pulled it over his head. Steve’s eyes widened as though that would allow him to drink in more of the expanse of flawless smooth skin Bucky had unveiled. He’s seen it before, but this was different. He allowed himself to really look this time and he was going to be able to touch. Before he could fully wrap his mind around the fact that Bucky was right there and all his for the taking, he was being pushed back onto the couch and Bucky’s hands were everywhere at once. He took over Steve’s mouth again as he arched his back off the couch trying to press every inch of bare skin he could against Bucky and letting his hands roam his powerful, muscular back. Then Bucky was grinding against him again and Steve bucked against him chasing every sensation he could.
“More,” Steve panted. Despite his vagueness, Bucky seemed to understand that what Steve wanted was more skin, more closeness, more of everything. He stood up and made quick work of his shoes and jeans and was onto Steve’s own clothes before he could do more than stare at the fact that Bucky apparently did not wear underwear. Steve only had his own to compare it to, but he knew it was impressive by any measure. Shorter than Steve’s but thick with a cut head. It was flushed red and leaking. He took much more care undressing Steve than he had himself. He stopped to unlace his shoes and slowly undid his button and zipper, pulling off his pants with agonizing slowness. The drag of the rough material against his hips and legs only served to light up Steve’s nerve endings more.
Bucky was doing maddening things to the skin of Steve’s hips as he dragged his pants down him. He paid particular attention to the grooves that lead down to Steve’s groin, laving at them with his tongue until Steve was rutting shamelessly against his mouth. Finally Bucky had his pants off, but rather than coming back up right away he started leaving a trail of kisses along Steve’s legs. He would never have thought the inside of his knees would be an erogenous zone, but the contrast of Bucky’s stubble and his soft lips against the tender skin there made his cock throb. He continued trailing kisses up the insides of Steve’s thighs until his legs were trembling. Pausing, he looked up at Steve who was riveted by the sight before him and keeping their eyes locked, he mouthed against Steve’s erection through his boxer briefs. Steve’s back fully left the couch as he lurched up against Bucky’s mouth before Bucky grabbed his hips and pinned him back down which was almost hotter than his mouth on him. He strained against Bucky’s grip just to see what would happen, but it was useless. Bucky had him in an iron grip.
“Squirm all you like, but I’m in charge here.” Bucky’s voice was stern and low and husky, and Steve loved it. He found he loved giving up control like this. He trusted Bucky, and he reveled in the fact that he could match Steve’s strength. He didn’t have to worry about hurting him. He didn’t have to worry about anything.
Finally Bucky found his way back up to Steve’s mouth for another searing kiss and this time he settled his hips so their cocks were lined up against each other, nothing but the thin fabric of Steve’s underwear between them. Steve’s underwear felt unpleasantly damp with the moisture of the precum gathering at his head and the wet trail Bucky had left. He tried to shimmy out of them as Bucky claimed his mouth for his own, but he was trapped.
“You want these off?,” Bucky asked, snapping the elastic of his waistband against him.
“Yes. Please. I want to feel you.”
“Mmm, yes. I want to feel you too.”
He freed Steve enough to get the offending article of clothing down his thighs, but he left them there and swooped back down to mouth at Steve’s chest this time. He worked his way down from Steve’s sternum to his belly button before moving back up again and licking tentatively at his nipple.
“Oh my god,” Steve groaned. It was like his nipples were hardwired to his cock which gave another throb as Bucky started licking and sucking in earnest and using his hand to tease his other nipple. He thrust up and dragged his cock against Bucky’s abs leaving a trail of slickness in his wake. Suddenly he was close, too close. He didn’t want this to end.
“Oh god, I think I’m going to come, Buck.”
With one last devastating suck, Bucky looked up at him looking as wrecked as Steve felt. “Oh no you’re not. Not yet.”
Something about the way he said it made Steve feel even closer to the edge, but he was determined to hold off. Bucky made his way back up leaving hot, open mouthed kisses against his chest and blowing on them giving Steve goosebumps. When he reached his neck he nuzzled against it again, dropping a soft kiss right under Steve’s ear. He switched sides, but this time his kiss was filthy and Steve moaned again. Then he was mouthing hungrily at Steve’s neck, alternating between kissing and sucking and biting. Steve knew if he could bruise, Bucky would be leaving marks. He wouldn’t have cared anyway. He liked the idea of Bucky marking him, and his attention was lighting Steve up like a livewire.
“You’re so sexy like this, Steve,” Bucky breathed against his neck, making Steve squirm even more.
“Want to come, Buck. Please. ”
“I love the way you beg so sweet for me.” Bucky rewarded Steve’s begging by stretching up against him again and lining up their cocks as he lined up their mouths. Steve felt like he was going into sensation overload. He felt like he might never think straight again, and that was okay with him. Anything was okay with him as long as Bucky kept touching him.
Bucky’s arm snaked between them and took them both in his hand. He swiped his thumb across Steve’s slit, gathering up the moisture now dripping out of him and Steve had to squeeze his eyes shut and start counting to stop himself from shooting right then. He stroked them together slowly and rutted against Steve. Then suddenly his hand and lips were gone and Steve’s eyes snapped open.
“Spit in my hand,” Bucky ordered.
“What?” Steve’s brain was foggy so he didn’t follow.
“Just do it.”
Feeling more bashful than about anything else they’d done, Steve complied.
“Give me your hand.” God Steve loved that commanding tone that brooked no argument.
Bucky shocked him by spitting in his hand as well and then pulling it down between them. He locked their fingers together around their cocks creating a channel for them to fuck into. Steve was certain he was going to lose his mind.
“Spit’s not good lube. I just thought it was sexy,” Bucky said with a breathless laugh.
Steve just nodded vigorously. Everything about this was unimaginably sexy. His and Bucky’s hands were sticky and sweaty and perfect. He thrust into them uncontrollably and knew he wasn’t going to last much longer.
“I don’t think I can hold off anymore.”
“That’s okay. You can let go now. Want you to come all over me.” He dropped his head back down to Steve’s neck and continued his open-mouthed assault on Steve’s sanity as Steve did as he said and thrust more desperately. Bucky bit at him again and sucked tightening his grip, increasing the friction between them and then Steve was falling over the edge. All his muscles seized up and his cock pulsed between them as rope after rope of stickiness covered their hands and stomachs. The extra slickness seemed to be what Bucky needed because moments later he was shuddering over Steve with his own climax.
“Fuck,” Bucky panted, resting his forehead against Steve’s and dropping a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth. His metal arm was holding him up over Steve, but he wasn’t having it. He wrapped his arms around Bucky and yanked him down to lay flush against him, mess be damned.
“Holy shit, Buck.”
“Yeah.”
It was a testament to how wrung out they were that Bucky didn’t even comment on Steve swearing. They lay there in a heap, boneless and sated, trading lazy kisses. It could have been minutes or hours. Steve’s brain still hadn’t fully come back online.
“Shower?” Bucky mumbled, pressing his mouth against Steve’s sweaty temple.
“Are you gonna carry me? I don’t think I can move.”
“Just because I can carry you doesn’t mean I’m gonna,” Bucky answered with a grin.
Bucky finally hefted himself off Steve, seemingly with great effort. He held his hand out to pull Steve’s limp body off the couch. He finally got his legs under him and managed to stay upright.
“My shower,” Steve said. There was nothing wrong with the other bathroom, but it had nothing on the luxury of Steve’s. He was giddy at the thought that he was actually going to make real use of that second shower head and all that space.
They made it as far as the stairs before Bucky yanked him around and started kissing him again like he couldn’t get enough of Steve’s lips. Steve melted against him again, holding onto Bucky’s shoulders unsure his legs were going to hold. Bucky’s hands roamed his back, but this time they dipped lower and he squeezed Steve’s ass before giving it a sharp slap and pulling back. He laughed at the shocked expression on Steve’s face. The sting of the slap had given him a jolt to his groin. It seemed anything Bucky did turned Steve on.
“Like that?”
Steve turned red in response. Instead of verbalizing an answer he grabbed Bucky’s hand and began pulling him up the stairs. Frankly his hand was rather disgusting, as was Steve’s own right hand, but for some reason the evidence of what they had done was arousing rather than off-putting.
They reached Steve’s room, and he realized this was the first time Bucky had ever been in here. He paused for a moment to look around. Taking in the fluffy white comforter, abundance of pillows, and not much else. Steve had never really made the room his honestly. His only visible possessions were the art supplies Bucky had gifted him. He had forgotten he’d left a drawing of Bucky he was working on on his bed until Bucky’s eyes landed on it and a smile tugged at his mouth.
“Been makin’ use of my presents, huh?”
“Well you did want me to draw you.”
“I was imagining me actually posing for it. I want you to draw me like one of your French girls, Steve.”
Steve had no idea what Bucky was talking about. “I don’t think I ever drew any French girls.”
“You’ve gotta watch more movies, man,” Bucky replied with an amused sigh. “C’mon, I’ve got plans for this shower.”
Steve liked the sound of that. He thought again about the fantasy he’d had about Bucky in the shower and couldn’t believe it was actually about to come true.
“Wow. You’ve been holding out on me, Stevie,” Bucky said once they reached the bathroom.
“Maybe a little. But now you can use this one whenever you want,” Steve said quietly. His imagination had drifted away from the sexual and towards more domestic fantasies like he and Bucky rolling out of bed together and using Steve’s double sink.
“Oh I can, huh? Bet I’m not exactly who you pictured standing at the sink next to you when you let someone upsell you on the sinks.” Bucky was clearly aiming for off-handed joke, but Steve knew him well enough by now to detect the note of insecurity under it.
“No, you’re not,” Steve admitted. Bucky’s apprehension was rolling off him in waves. Beneath all that self-assured swagger he had managed to regain, there was still the shadow of the man who had come back to Steve all but broken and unsure whether he would ever be fit to be put back together, unsure whether he deserved to be whole again, certain the he would never be the old Bucky Barnes and doubting that there was a place in the world for whatever new one he might become.
“You probably managed your leggy brunette with a little more bust and a little less stubble.” The joke fell flat and Bucky ducked his head like he knew he was betraying more than he intended and was looking to stop it.
Steve reached and tipped his head back up with a finger under his chin. He slid his hand up to cup Bucky’s jaw and make sure he didn’t look away again.
Steve swallowed thickly. He wasn’t good with this kind of thing. Putting feelings into words always ended with him mucking it up not actually saying what he’d meant to say. With Bucky it was different though. He would understand Steve even if he made a mess of it. That was the point.
“Buck, you’re not what I hoped for because I could never have imagined someone like you… something like this . With you I don’t have to think; I can just be. And that’s what I want. I want to just be. With you.” He heaved a shuddering breath. “Always.”
Bucky put his hand over the one Steve was cupping his jaw. He turned his head a fraction of an inch and pressed a kiss to Steve’s palm. That tiny gesture almost bowled Steve over and made his heart burst. He knew that was all he was going to get. Bucky was even less for sentimental speeches than Steve. He only knew how to speak in actions.
It was only after they had gotten out of the shower, toweled off, and collapsed on Steve’s cushy white bed that he realized they had only used the one shower head. Steve smiled.
Life was funny. You could imagine a thousand different scenarios for yourself only to find that the thing you really needed was the one thing you never thought to want.