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you're on your own kid (yeah, you can face this)

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Maria throws a pen at the glass, making yelena yelp and fall off the chair she was reading a history of pleats on.

‘what the hell?’ She picks herself up and sees Maria nodding patiently to a call onscreen before catching Yelena's eyes and mouthing

Sorry

‘what?’ yelena picks up her book

Anya

‘what about her?’

dance, will you drop her off?’

Maria’s never asked her to do that before, always taking and picking up Anya herself, knowing Yelena’s chosen alienation to the activity

Please

‘sure’ Yelena forces on a smile ‘send me the pin’

Will do Maria smiles, and for a fleeting moment she feels so like Natasha to Yelena its painful love you

‘love you’ this time the smile is badly smothered

‘KID’ Yelena bellows, walking out the office ‘WE’RE GOING ON AN ADVENTURE’

A thudding comes from upstairs, slowly coming closer and closer until Anya stops, panting at the top of the stairs

‘you’re taking me to dance?’

‘yeah, how’d you know’ Yelena replies causally

‘its Saturday and it’s 11:30. Its dance time!’ she spins dramatically, almost toppling down the stairs

‘woah, woah there, go grab your stuff’ Anya stampedes off ‘and be quiet! Your mama’s on a call’

Ten minutes later Nai is issuing her usual snarky instructions and Anya is laughing at every single jab the AI woman makes

‘haha you’re funny’

‘I think you’re funny too’ NIA replies ‘turn bitch’

‘don’t bitch with the child around’ yelena tries, but grins, turning nonetheless

‘whats a bitch?’ Anya asks politely and Yelena goes red

‘we don’t say that word’

‘BITCH’ anya shouts defiantly and yelena turns on her widow glare

‘If you say that infront of your mama im dead’

‘btich’ Naya whispers threateningly and Yelena sighs

‘I hate you Nia’

‘hate you too’ the AI replies, making Anya giggle loudly

After only three more debates ending in Yelena bringing out the glare they arrive at a little ecommunity dance school near the outskirt of the city

She hops out the car, lift anya down then dutifully holds her hand all the way into the changing room, checking she gets into the right class before turning and running as fast as she can. Or at least trying to, after the turning but she just ran slap bang into someone coming up the stairs

‘oof’ Yelena ‘dermo’ she swears

‘woah was that Russian’ the tall brunette she slammed into picks up her bag and spins around, rendering Lena speechless for a moment – just a moment

‘hi’ she smiles

Fuck, words yelena thinks

‘hey’

They stare at each other for a moment, Yelena taking it the brunettes face and lips and holy shit her eyes

‘you okay?’ she asks and again yelena stammers for a response

‘great, you?’ causal, interested, nailed it!

‘oh im fine, I just thought I might have hurt you or something’ she laughs and yelena’s stomach does this floppy flip, she wonders vaguely if she drank some bad milk this morning

‘I’m Kate, by the way. Kate Bishop’ she holds out her hand and yelena catches it

‘Yelena Belova’ she says

‘well I’m sorry for being such a klutz Yelena Belova’

Lena shakes her head ‘no, it was my fault’

Theres the awkward pause of a conversation dying and yelena jumps to save it

‘do you dance here?’

‘god no, I’d just crash into everyone, I was just dropping off some old shoes from when I did, some new kids needed them and I didn’t’ somehow they started walking outside to the cars, and Kate stops by an old ford that looks like its on its last journey

‘you?’

Yelena takes a second ot remember the question, she seems to be moving so slow right now ‘no, just dropping off my niece’

‘cute’ Kate Bishop smiles again and Yelena grins back

‘yeah, shes in the grade one class I think’

‘aww’

Yelenas not sure how to reply to that noise

‘well this is me’ Kate gestures to the car they’ve been standing next to ‘I guess I’ll see you around’

‘see you’ yelena says, ignoring the little voice in the back of her head saying you won’t!

She manages to walk all the way to her car before she finally turns around, and when she does, Kate is gone

***

~A week later~

‘I think we should take a field trip’ yelena walks straight into Maria’s bedroom, ignoring the glare the brunette sends her from the armchair in the corner

‘what?’ Maria looks up from her comfy seat ‘’seriously?’

‘yeah, coffee shops or something? You drink so much home brew im worried about your health'

Maria just grunts in response

‘come on! Theres this really cute little coffee shop about 10 minutes from the Triskelion, we could go after your work tomorrow’

‘you have school’

‘I’m off on study leave for exams’

‘then you should be studying’ Maria shuts her eyes ‘just like I should be sleeping’

‘tomorrow’ Yelena says ‘I’ll drive’

‘will you leave me alone?’

‘if you say yes’

‘yes, yes, anything’ Maria sighs, leaning back ‘turn the lights off on your way out’

Yelena waits until the lights are off and the door is shut before she fist pumps. Her… research the last couple of nights had finally come to some good.

-

‘there is a great coffee machine down in Tech lap 6’ Maria grumbles as they pull up outside the café

‘I’m beginning to find out where Anya gets her strops from’ Yelena replies casually, locking the car and hesitating outside of the shop

‘come on, this had better be good’

Yelena checks her watch, they’re right on time, Maria walks straight in, looking up as the bell jinges and raising her eyebrows at the décor that looks like its been taken straight out of a pinterest board, going up tot eh counter and nodding at the waitress

‘americano and…’ she looks at Yelena

‘hot chocolate’ Yelena says

‘yep, yep’ the waitress finally looks up and her expression clears

‘yelena Belova’ she grins

‘Kate Bishop’ Lena tries to look surprised ‘hey, fancy seeing you here!’

‘I didn’t realise you worked here’

‘yeah, just a Saturday girl’ Kate replies, then continues ‘and sometimes a Thursday girl, and Tuesdays, and every other Monday… and Wednesdays when Tara’s off, so pretty much every day’

Yelena laughs with her, and Maria looks between them, raising an eyebrow at Lena

‘This is my sister, Maria, Anya, who I was dropping off’s mum’ Yelena explains ‘Maria, this is Kate, I met her last Saturday, at dance’

‘hi, nice to meet you’ Maria nods

‘yeah, you too, lemme grab those drinks for you- the table by the heaters that one over there’ kate points subtly and yelena grins again

‘thanks’

‘maybe I will see you around again, again Yelena Belova’ Kate Bishop actually has the nerve to wink as they walk off, cradling the steaming drinks

Maria waits until they’re sat down before gently batting Yelea on the head ‘idiot’

‘what?!’

‘now I can see why you wanted to come here so much’ Maria smirks ‘field trip my ass’

‘hey, it was a coincidence’

‘nope, the lying might have worked on Bishop, but not on me’

‘I-I…’ Yelena stammers, knowing this was a bad idea

‘its fine. You should have told met though. I could have faked a call to leave you alone or something’ Maria shrugs ‘shes cute’

‘you what?!’ yelena chokes on her drink

‘shes polite, kind so far, and kind of hot if the whole brunette thing works for you’

‘humph’ is all Yelena can reply ‘works for me?’ she repeats

‘it did for your sister’ Maria sips her coffee smugly ‘you should get her number, meet up’

‘but – she-‘ Yelan buries her head in her hand ‘this was a very bad idea’

‘no, it was an idea out of love’ Maria pokes her sister ‘chin up buttercup’

‘never say that to me again’ yelena lies her head on the table ‘life is confusing’

‘whats confusing’

‘I thought I was ace. Starch that I knew I was ace and aro and that kate comes along and fuck’

‘ha’ Maria snorts ‘I remember thinking that about being gay. There I was nice and straight and then bam – Mia Wallance in pulp fiction. I was never the same again’ she shakes her head reminiscing ‘that was a chaotic year’

Yelena just groans in response

‘you can like her and still be ace and aro, they’re all spectrums, you dont need to be on either end. Just, maybe hang out with her a bit and if you like her then tell her and I’m sure she’ll understand. Then you can arrange something, like, a platonic relationship if you’re both on board’

‘I read about those’ yelena speaks into the table ‘I want one’

‘hmm’ Maria smiles ‘they’re the best’

‘you and Nat?’ Yelena asks

‘before New York, for a year or so we were best friends, not in the cringy hair braiding friendship bracelet way, but in the ill take a bullet for you and be your medical proxy soldier way’

‘cute’ Yelena lifts her head to take a sip of her drink ‘maybe I should just pretend to have a heart attack in front of her and she’ll hold my hand all the way to the hospital and confess her undying love for me over my unconscious form only to realise that I am actually awake and I can say something cool and causal like ‘so, dinner be next Wednesday and she’ll hug me-‘ Yelena stops, realising the look on Maria’s face

‘if you repeat that to anyone they’ll find your skin hanging inside out off the top of the Triskelion’

Mara just smirks

‘shut up’

‘Im not saying anything’

‘drink your coffee’ Yelena glares

‘ask her out’ Maria replies

‘really?’

‘do you like her?’

‘I mean, I think so, but not like… that-‘

‘do you think you could build a relationship with her that you’d want?’ Maria asks and Yelena nods, eyes tracking to where Kate’s taking an order across the room

‘yeah, yeah, I think I could’

Maria smiles ‘that’s it then, go on’

‘yeah, cool, I got this’ Yeeba drains her cup, stands up, brushis herself off, walks three steps and spins straight around, beelining for her seat and plopping down

‘no, nope, I don’t got this’

Maira looks unimpressed ‘chicken’

‘no chicken… just, out of.. out of practise?’ Yelena tries

‘practise?’ Maria repeats

‘just say… hypothetically, of course’ Yelebna begins, watching Maria’s eyebrows slide further up her forehead 'someone hadn’t asked out girl before in a non-romantic romantic way… how would they go about doing it?’

Maria thanks for a moment ‘well, hypothetically, you would compliment her, not something on her, herself. Not a oh that’s a nice dress,m but an oh that dress really brings out the colour of her eyes, or an I love your hair today, its so pretty, not a that’s a nice clip. And then she replies and you say ‘I was wondering if I might be able to ask you for your number’ and don’t start rambling, just smile and for her to reply and if she asks why mention meeting up sometime’ she looks up ‘got that?’

Yelena’s across the room in three strudes

***

‘I am aro’ Yelena says decisively, sitting down on the sofa a couple of hours later

‘okay’ Maria shrugs

‘and I am ace’

‘okay’

‘and ive decided I can be in love and all those other things’

‘well done kid’ Maria pats her on the arm and Yelena moves in close to her older sister

‘how do you do it?’

‘do what?’

‘life?’

‘no a fucking clue’ Maria laughs ‘its all about keeping your head up up, chin just above the water, keeps you from drowning’

‘hmmm’ Yelena leans back against her and shuts her eyes

‘you ready for your exams?’ Maria asks and feels the blonde shrug against her

‘as ready as ill ever be’

‘good. You’ve got it. And even if you haven’t you’ve got a gadge waiting for you at SHIELD no matter what’

‘so I have got it. Because I don’t want SHIELD’

‘yep. You just gotta promise me something?’

‘maybe’

‘when you’re having a big fancy fashion show in 10 years time, remember to invite your old boring sister, yeah?’

‘I don’t have an old boring sister’ Yelena says and Maria stills

‘I have an old interesting sister. And I will invite her. And her annoying little child’

‘she wont be little then, Anya’ll be… god, nearly 20 by then’

‘urgh don’t’ Yelena groans ‘itsn’t it crazy? How time always carries on’

‘I thought it was unfair. But now, im at peace with it’ Maria says slowly ‘we cant swim against the tide, only hope to float’

Yelena laughs and pokes Maria’s arm ‘you’re really with the water metaphors today aren’t you?’

‘oh shush, I watched blue planet last night’

They drift off into silence for a few moments until yelena speaks, her eyes still shut

‘Natasha used to talk about purpose, how everyone needs one, how she found one when she came to SHIELD. I thought it was fighting, but it was you. Now, I guess im looking for mine. Natasha’s was good, you know, pure, helping others. Mine’s selfish, I want to do better. Just better, less killing, less training, I want more freedom, more life’

‘that’s not selfish Yelena, that’s healthy’ Maria murmurs

‘I always wanted to be out, be different to how… how I was. Im not normal, I know that, I never claimed to be but I think, I didn’t want to be normal, I wanted to be loved. Which was why I stuck to Natasha’ Yelena’s eyelashes droop with the weight of tears as she speaks, slowly and evenly

‘but here, for the first time. I think, I think I love myself. And I’ve found someone else who loves me’

Maria’s arm snakes around Yelena 'come here’ she presses a kiss to the top of Yelena’s hair as she sobs ‘I’ve got you, I love you, you’re safe. You’ve done this. You’ve built this. You’ve created your life, Yelena. Now you just gotta live it’

‘I wish Natasha would live hers’

‘I know, I do to’

‘you really loved her.’

‘I really do’ Maria frantically wipes her tears before they drop onto the blonde hair

‘I really did.’