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Marcus knew that Simon was never going to be a long term thing. He’d told himself over and over again not to expect anything. Not to hope. Not to let his heart wander further than right now.
And so what if he told Simon there was no reason to rush. So what if he had started thinking about spending the upcoming summer with the boy. Or fantasizing about taking that next intimate step with Simon. As long as he kept it as day dreams, fantasies, than he’d be okay. Or so he thought.
But, he couldn’t help but know that he had slowly, but surely fallen in love with the boy. Every moment, every touch, every kiss. Simon had taken his heart.
Marcus knew that Simon didn’t return that love. Knew Simon was still in love with the Kronprins. But he still had held hope he could somehow win that love. Make Simon realize how good they could be together.
No matter how hard he tried to be understanding, to give Simon time, it wasn’t enough. Because ultimately, Marcus wasn’t Wilhelm and Simon’s love was only for the Kronprins.
And yeah, he took the rejection hard. He felt he had the right. It took months for him to process and let go of his anger and hurt. But he still needed that last bit of closure. So, maybe that’s why he had agreed to meet Simon six months after he walked away.
“You…you look good,” Simon nodded.
Marcus shrugged, leaning against his car.
“I’m glad you agreed to come here,” Simon said.
And Marcus shrugged again. “My family owns this property, I’m here anyways.”
“Still,” Simon nodded. “I just…I…”
“Can I say something?” Marcus didn’t wait for an answer. “You hurt me. You really, really hurt me.”
“I know,” Simon agreed, looking to the ground for a second. “I’m-“
“Please don’t say you’re sorry. I know you’re not,” Marcus knew he was probably being unfair, but he needed to say it.
Simon shook his head, “Marcus…”
“So, how is the Kronprins?” Again, Marcus knew he was being petty, but he couldn’t help it.
Simon shook his head, “Don’t be like that.”
“You slept with him while we were still together,” Marcus stated. “I know you did. Don’t lie. Please.” The last part was whispered. Marcus was really trying to not let his feelings boil over and consume him.
Simon sighed and nodded. “I did.”
Marcus snorted, “Well at least you’re being honest.”
A few seconds passed and Marcus watched a myriad of emotions cover Simon’s face.
“I didn’t ask you here to fight,” Simon said, almost desperately. “I just…I wanted to see…how you were doing.”
Marcus blinked a few times. “Simon, six months ago you broke my heart. And I know we weren’t together very long, but you did. Fuck,” Marcus shook his head. “You don’t know, do you?” He watched as Simon shook his head in confusion. “I loved you!”
“Wh…I…” Simon gasped. “We…” He took a deep breath. “Marcus?”
“Yeah,” Marcus shrugged.
“H-how? Why?” Simon asked and Marcus flinched.
“I don’t know. How does anyone fall in love? It’s like asking how or why you fell in love with the Kronprins. It just happened!” Marcus had to look away for a second. “I didn’t want to. But it just happened.”
“Oh,” Simon breathed. “I…I’m not going to apologize. I know it’s not fair to you. I just…I did like you, Marcus. I just…I couldn’t love you.”
“I know,” Marcus did know. “You know what’s the worst part?”
“Hmm?” Simon muttered.
“Most people don’t have to see their ex after a breakup, but you and the Kronprins are all over the media,” Marcus shrugged. Every time he turned around, there was another picture or article or something speculating about Kronprins Wilhelm and Simon Erikson. Ever since the Jubilee when Wilhelm declared it was him in that video. It was like Sweden couldn’t get enough of the couple and all the speculation and rumors.
“I am sorry about that,” Simon said. “Really.”
Marcus nodded. And for some reason the anger that he’d been clutching to, just disappeared. “I believe you.” And he did. “H-how are you doing?”
“It’s a lot, but we-I’m dealing,” it wasn’t lost on Marcus Simon’s change of words.
“Hmm,” Marcus hummed.
Simon nodded, “I know this may sound…selfish, but I want you in my life, Marcus. I…August’s trial is coming up and I just…” Simon paused. “I know it’s…” He trailed off.
“I don’t think…I don’t think we can ever be friends,” Marcus said the one thing he needed to say.
“I,” Simon nodded. “I guess, I expected that.”
“I just…” Marcus shrugged, not knowing what else to say. “You have my support, but I just…it’s too hard to be around you.”
Simon nodded again. “Can I ask you something?”
“Okay,” Marcus said, measured, quiet.
“Why didn’t you ever watch the video?” Simon asked. “Everyone else did. Even my mom has seen it.”
“It wasn’t my moment,” Marcus stated. “It was your moment. Yours and the Kronprins. It wasn’t for me.”
“Oh,” Marcus could tell Simon wasn’t expecting that.
“And if I were to be able to see you like that, I wanted the first time to be our moment.” Marcus shrugged.
Simon nodded and took an awkward step forward. “Can I…hug you?”
“Yeah,” Marcus took a step forward, pulling Simon into his arms.
“Thank you,” Simon whispered and Marcus knew it wasn’t for the hug, but for not watching that video. But it was true what Marcus had told Simon. When they were dating, Marcus had been tempted on a few occasions to watch the video, but it wasn’t fair or right to take that away from Simon and the Kronprins. Even after Simon broke Marcus’ heart, Marcus still didn’t watch the video. It felt like a sick kind of revenge that Marcus would never take part in.
“Simon?” Marcus started, once they both pulled away.
“Hmm?” Simon asked.
Marcus cleared his throat. “I hope this all works out for you.”
Simon shrugged and nodded. “Me too.”