Chapter Text
Natsu hated the snow.
Not because it was cold. No, Natsu didn’t ever really feel cold. Anytime the temperature dropped below comfortable he could simply raise his own body heat with little magical energy spent. He could even dry his clothes constantly using the same powers.
So, he didn’t harbor the same complaints that most did. Walking through the snow was akin to taking a stroll down the street on a sunny day for the dragon slayer.
To be specific, it was the smell that he hated. Or lack thereof.
Snow had a way of messing with Natsu’s super sensitive nose. It had a clean scent that served to mask every other scent around him, making him feel less attuned to his surroundings. That, along with the current flurry of snow obstructing his eyesight, made for an absolutely disorienting hike up the damn mountain.
Natsu aggressively rubbed his eyes with the back of his arm, trying to dislodge the snowflakes that had been annoyingly accumulating on his eyelashes.
The trip started nice, he reminisced. Although he played it off, Natsu had been secretly thrilled to be mysteriously paired alone with Lucy. He could barely believe his luck that the rest of the team agreed to split up like that - even Happy agreed. Which was even more unbelievable because Happy had a certain way of intruding on every moment Natsu had alone with Lucy.
He didn’t mind too much; Happy was his best friend after all.
But jeez he could learn to read the room sometimes. Natsu thought back to the numerous times he had considered trying to advance his relationship with Lucy, only to be cock-blocked by his little buddy at every opportunity.
How could he? I mean I always give him space with Charle, even if I have to leave my own damn tent.
Natsu huffed.
After they parted with their guildmates this morning in Clement, Natsu had been greatly enjoying Lucy’s company. The first few hours they had been simply chatting while enjoying the nice weather and hiking base of the mountain. They had even stopped for a midday snack from their travel bags. Sure, there had been a hostile monster or two, but all in all Natsu felt more at peace than he had in weeks. As much as he loved the others in his team, spending time with Lucy was different. Talking with her came easy. Despite being a pretty hyperactive guy in need of constant excitement, Nastu could simply talk with Lucy all day about anything and everything and find himself perfectly entertained. Somehow, it felt like he could forget everything else bad in his life.
She felt safe.
Natsu could feel the corners of his mouth tilt up slightly.
He couldn’t put his finger on when, but he knew that his relationship with Lucy had changed. Maybe it had always been changing, but he only realized it recently.
What he did know is that he had become hyper aware of her. When she cried, he felt lost in trying to comfort her, when she laughed it felt like rays of sunshine in his chest, whenever they were apart Natsu felt as if he was holding his breath, every second that ticked by made him feel more and more strained for air, only to finally exhale when she was within eyesight again. And when she got hurt-
Well, Natsu didn’t even like to think about that.
He furrowed his brow in frustration, trying to dispel the thoughts that only served to raise his blood pressure.
No one else is going to get hurt. No one else is going to die. Natsu reminded himself. You’re stronger now.
If Natsu could take down kings and dragons, he would make damn sure he could protect the people he loved.
“..astu!”
Natsu’s ears twitched as he turned around to see Lucy, a few feet behind him, walking slowly in the path of melted snow he left in his wake.
“Gosh did you not hear me?” Lucy whined as she caught up to him. “I had called your name like three times before you noticed! Could you slow down a little? I can’t keep up with your wild pace.”
“Whoops sorry Lucy, I didn’t notice I was goin’ so fast.” He replied, attempting to shake off the darkness brewing in his stomach. It was true, he really didn’t notice her for a second there. The poor man had been too lost in his complicated feelings; he became even more unfocused in an already difficult environment.
Natsu scratched his head. He couldn’t exactly tell Lucy that she was the reason he was zoning out. Or the reason he had been spacing out a LOT lately.
How could he tell her that when he still hadn’t fully figured out his own feelings? He knew he liked her.
“Like is actually big fucking understatement at this point.” He grumbled to himself.
But Natsu, even though he told Gray something different yesterday, didn’t actually know anything about romance. He could recognize that his feelings for Lucy are more than friendship… but then what? What does he do with that information? Does he just grab her face and kiss her? Is that all you need to do to make a romantic relationship happen?
It’s not like he wasn’t attracted to her. Natsu was an adult male afterall. He could see just as well as anyone how truly beautiful his partner was. From her golden hair, to her big chocolate brown eyes, to her big… other things.
Alright perv, save it for your alone time. He scolded himself as a reminder that he was currently completely alone with the bombshell blonde.
But Lucy was so much more than her outward appearance. Natsu would feel the same way about Lucy even if she wasn’t so drop dead gorgeous. She was brilliant, courageous, and strong as hell. There was no one he would rather have as his partner. And no one he’d rather have as his-
“Hey Natsu!”
“Uhh, yes Lucy?”
“You spaced out. Again.” She looked up at him with concern. “Are you alright?” Her dark eyes stood out in the whiteness surrounding them.
He bit the inside of his cheek with his sharp canines to stop a nervous chuckle. “Yeah I’m totally fine Lucy! Just got a lot on my mind. I guess all this snow is makin’ things quiet enough to do some thinkin’. You know that's rare for me.”
She giggled.
What a wonderful sound. He briefly observed.
“I can understand that. Somehow snow makes everything eerily quiet huh?” Lucy quipped. “Well actually, not so much for me. All I can hear is my own breath through this giant scarf.” She tugged at the offending material with a grimace.
Natsu scoffed. Lucy did look pretty hilarious. Unlike him she did not have the benefit of self-heating. So, while he was wearing his regular one-sleeve vest, Lucy had to change into at least 4 layers of thick snow attire as the temperature dropped along their hike. She was wearing a pink beanie and a thick fluffy white scarf that obscured her entire face save for her eyes and the tendrils of blonde that peaked out from the fabric. Her frame was rounded with layer after layer of protective clothing.
She looks so… puffy . Like a marshmallow made of fabric. Natsu suppressed another laugh.
She’s so cute.
Lucy let out an exasperated sigh as she adjusted her scarf again. “How much longer do we have till we reach the summit? Can you believe I still feel cold under all of this?”
“Uh no I actually can’t believe it.” He grinned as she shot a glare in his direction. “I think we have like half a day left of walking. Maybe more with your- I mean our pace.” He continued as he squinted up at the sky, trying to get a view of the sun’s positioning through the snow and clouds.
Lucy scowled as she began walking again.
Well, more like waddling. Natsu thought as he looked down at her struggle through her outerwear.
“Then we better keep moving, huh? We want to get that vase as soon as possible to return to the main quest.” She said, still muffled by the scarf.
“Sure. Sounds like a plan.” Natsu continued his pace, slightly disappointed that he didn’t have more time to spend alone with Lucy. However, he knew finishing the 100 Years Quest was much more important right now. People’s lives depended on it.
“Just let me know if you get too cold or tired. I can always carry you again.” Natsu added with a look behind his shoulder.
Lucy was quiet for a moment before murmuring out a soft “...okay.”
Natsu didn’t really consider the implications of what exactly he just offered before quickly blushing up to his ears.
Goddamn it you just had to offer to touch her.
It had become so second nature to the dragon slayer over the years that he stopped realizing he was doing it. Of course, that didn’t mean he was acutely aware of when he was touching her. Like yesterday as they were walking to Clement. He would never tell Lucy this, but when he carried her like that, he could feel everything . His super tuned senses, especially towards her, allowed him to feel every pulse of her heart, every sound of inhale from her lungs, each contraction of her muscles, the smell of her hair, the heat coming off of her skin, especially in certain areas… everything,
Natsu slapped himself in the temple - thankful that Lucy would be unable to see it due to the flurry of snow.
Get a hold of yourself Natsu. He chided himself while roughly rubbing his eyebrows.
They were on a mission and he was right next to her. Alone. If he didn’t reign himself in, he would probably end up doing something stupid and selfish. Which was very on-brand for him unfortunately. Lately he had to make not jumping the blonde a conscious decision.
Plus, he didn’t even think Lucy liked him like that.
Sure, Lucy definitely liked him in some capacity. Even someone as dumb as him could see how she would turn pink whenever he was within arm’s length of her. And how, she’d always hug him whenever she got emotional, cry whenever his life was in danger, and even give him a good wakeup call when he was being too reckless.
She doesn’t do that for any other guy. Not even Gray. He mused smugly.
Natsu allowed himself to bask in that victory for a little while as he continued up the icy mountain, before breaking his own illusion
Even if she was attracted to me, her feelings probably don’t go deeper than that. Lucy likes a prince charming knight-in-shining-armor type guy.
And to put it lightly, Natsu is not that.
He frowned deeply.
More like the dragon who terrorizes the town.
And Natsu had read through some of those gross romance books Lucy kept under her bed while she was out of her apartment. He didn’t really relate to those flashy dudes who were so smooth with their words. They always seemed to know exactly what to say to make a woman swoon. Those kinda guys could bring a woman to bed with just a smoldering look and a cheesy pick-up line, basically bringing her to an orgasm with some awkward dirty talk.
His eyebrow jerked up with the memory of the scenes in those perverted books. Lucy had weird taste, that’s for sure.
Unlike those fictional men, Natsu was more of a man of action.
He had no experience with women and romance, so he had no tools to deal with Lucy’s affection, nor his insecurities about not being the romantic type. He needed something straightforward and tangible to understand her feelings. Which was hard when Lucy could barely formulate thoughts in his vicinity.
All Natsu knew with certainty was that the woman was driving him crazy. Something had to give soon, because Natsu felt like a bomb of hormones, ready to set off at Lucy’s smallest inconvenience. It was starting to give him a migraine.
He just wanted her, plain and simple.
As he continued to walk Natsu considered asking someone more romantically inclined to give him the words to say to Lucy. Something that he could use to articulate his fucked-up feelings properly. In a way that even he could understand.
Hot shame ran down his face at even the idea of asking someone at the guild for romance advice. He was positive if he ever did it would be held over his head till the end of time. Fairy Tail wizards were really not known for their tact.
And, at the same time.
He was scared.
Natsu furrowed his brow. Feeling stupid about his fear. He knew he was strong. He had looked death in the face more times than he could count.
But it wasn’t his own death he feared. No, Natsu was ready to lay down his life at any time for any of his comrades.
What he was truly afraid of- what made him wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat- was losing someone he loved.
Again.
As a child it was Lisanna, the first friend who gave him a family when he first joined Fairy Tail. Then it was Lucy’s future self, slaughtered right in front of his eyes. Then Igneel. His own father. When he was too cowardly to fight Acnologia alongside. And then, again he almost lost his own Lucy to Dimaria.
He felt cold as he recalled desperately shaking her unresponsive body, devoid of pulse as blood dripped down her face. The only thought he could conjure before fully losing himself to E.N.D. was that it was his fault. Again.
Any person Natsu had grown close enough to, right when he felt he could let his defenses down, ended up dying. Everytime.
And it was always, always because he was not strong enough.
The people he loved felt like grains of sand that he held in his hand. Each one made up an individual grain. He had to keep his fist closed around them, protecting them. If he let his grip go, if he tried to relax and let his guard down, only a little bit, they were blown away in the wind. Gone.
So, he clenched tightly, so tightly that it hurt. He couldn’t ever let them go. Teetering on an obsessive degree.
Natsu felt his fingers twitch and his temperature rise when he remembered his first meeting with Ignia when he challenged him to an eventual fight. The words that bastard had dared speak to him made his head sear.
If you’re not feeling particularly motivated, I’ll give you a little motivation… by killing off those precious friends of yours, one by one .
He couldn’t ever show it, but at that moment, Natsu was petrified. In just a few minutes of meeting him, Ignia had pinpointed Natsu’s greatest fear and threatened it. He gripped his imaginary pile of sand.
Ignia was his greatest insecurity, manifested.
And as much as Natsu trained his body to the peak of its ability every single day, truthfully, he didn’t know if he could beat Ignia.
Which was precisely why Natsu was so terrified of deeping his relationship with Lucy. He already loved her as a member of Fairy Tail and as one of his very best friends. But what if, by some miracle, she loved him back. Could he handle her slipping through his fingers if she became that much more important to him?
It was simply easier to outwardly keep her at an arm's distance, to pretend he didn’t notice the palpable affection between them. If the world didn’t know how much he cared, if Ignia didn’t know, maybe she would be safe.
Hours had passed as the pair silently trudged up the mountain. The snowfall had increased quickly and winds were picking up. Visibility was becoming next to impossible with snowflakes whipping into eyes as soon as they opened past a squint. It was enough that Natsu had finally snapped out of his brooding and began to assess if continuing to traverse the mountain was safe enough for Lucy.
He turned to look at Lucy, his heart momentarily sank when he didn’t see her right behind his back. Only to take a huge sigh of relief when he saw the blur of pink from her hat, barely visible in the gust of whiteness. She was now much further behind than she had been. Her pace looked slower than before.
Natsu clutched the straps of his bag and ran down the hill to meet her.
“Lucy-”
He stopped when he realized how heavily she was breathing. Her body shivered with each exhale. Her eyes unfocused, staring at the ground in front of her, still following his melted footsteps which had been quickly filling up with snow.
Shit.
His palm twitched before he brought both hands firmly down on her shoulders.
“Lucy!”
Her eyes snapped up. “Oh Natsu. Sorry, I didn’t see you come up to me. What’s going on?”
She sounds so tired. He winced, wishing again he wasn’t so distracted.
“I think we should find some shelter for now. You look exhausted. You should rest before we continue on.” He looked down at her pale face.
“What? But we still have over an hour before we reach the summit cave.” She protested with some of her little energy left.
“Lucy.” He replied sternly while crossing his arms over his chest. “You obviously can’t keep going. We are going to stop here for today.”
“No.” She shot back. “I’m fine. Let’s keep walking.”
Natsu frowned. “Lucy, we are stopping now.”
Her brows scrunched together. “Are you too tired to keep walking? Is that why?”
“Of course I’m not tired.” Natsu answered like it was obvious.
What is her problem? She’s going to hurt herself at this rate.
An emotion that Natsu couldn’t place crossed her face only for a moment before she looked down at her boots.
“Natsu. I am going to keep walking until we reach the summit. You are free to walk with me or stay here for the night, but I’m not stopping.”
“But-” He tried to reason with her.
“I’m going.” She pushed past him without meeting his eyes. Her gait slowed down considerably without the assistance of a path made by Natsu, but she kept going without looking back at the dragon slayer who had been standing dumbstruck in the same place she left him.
He had no idea what was going on in her head, but he wasn’t about to leave her alone in the rapidly forming blizzard.
Moving his legs easily through the snow he jogged to meet back up with her. She didn’t acknowledge his presence, her eyes trained forward. He could still hear the chattering of her teeth under her scarf.
“Look Lucy, we can keep walking, okay? I’m sorry for what I said.” Natsu apologized without fully understanding what he had done to piss her off.
He reached out and grabbed her gloved hand with his bare one.
She seemed startled by the touch but kept her eyes down.
He peered down at her, his eyes softening when he saw her look more sad than angry.
“Could I at least keep you warm?”
She slowly met his gaze. If he didn’t know any better he would have thought that she was about to cry.
“Please Lucy?” He repeated, trying to sound as heartfelt as he could.
“...okay” Her voice was so quiet, but he heard her loud and clear. With his hand still wrapped around hers he let out an influx of magical energy. Heat flowed out of his pores and warmed the area around them. The snow melted before it could even reach their bodies. Lucy sighed in relief. His heart jumped when he saw how much more comfortable she was feeling.
“Let’s keep going, okay? Together.” He smiled brightly at her while squeezing her hand.
“Sure.” She gently smiled back.
It had taken another two hours, but Natsu was finally able to see the jutting rock formation that made up the cave just as the sun dipped below the horizon. Despite the snow now beating down onto the mountain even harder than before, they had continued regardless. Natsu really didn’t like that they had kept going, but he couldn’t argue with Lucy’s stubbornness.
Even though he had been letting out a steady stream of heat the entire time, she only looked worse than before.
Exhaustion had set in.
Even without the snow, cutting wind attacked the pair at all sides, making movement slow as Lucy struggled just to not fall over and making it especially difficult for Natsu to keep the area warm enough for her. He was starting to feel ragged from trying to keep the temperature suitable for her against the biting temperatures around them. If he was alone it would be easier. As before he could just keep his temperature output to scalding. He could literally set the whole mountain ablaze and simply stroll up it. Unfortunately, walking through literal fire was not an option for a non-fire dragon slayer. So, he had to maintain a constant focus to microtune his fire in an attempt to keep Lucy warm.
In the last hour she had gone from walking besides him while holding his hand, to slumped over his shoulder. Most of her body weight was now being supported by his arm which was gripping her opposite arm to keep her balanced
Natsu had offered to carry her but for some weird reason she wouldn’t let him this time. Even as she looked on the verge of passing out, she refused to let him carry her.
He roughly gripped his scarf as it threatened to fly off at any moment.
Natsu had no clue what was going on with Lucy today, but it was really starting to stress him the hell out.
He cringed as he looked over at her face, not even looking fully conscious anymore. Nevertheless, she still kept walking, one foot in front of the other, like she was doing it subconsciously at this point. Natsu absolutely hated seeing her like this. He would have much preferred to carry her all the way up the fucking mountain if she’d just let him.
With gritted teeth he lightly squeezed her body against his to stir her awake.
“Hey. Luce.” He spoke gently. “We made it. I can see the cave ahead.”
“Oh…” She quietly responded. “Good.” Her eyes looked hollow and unstaring. Their characteristic brightness was gone.
Natsu stared at her for a long minute before harshly exhaling.
“Fuck it.”
He swooped down and picked up her bundled frame in one quick motion. If she had any energy left to protest, she didn’t show it. He hugged her close to him as he began to sprint as fast as he could to the cave. Usually running at this speed tended to freak Lucy out, but he was sure she wouldn’t mind getting to shelter as fast as possible.
Natsu lowered his head as he reached the wall of snow covering the cave. Quickening his pace he ran head first into the snow mound, embracing Lucy tighter to his chest to protect her from the collision.
Natsu groaned as he felt sheets of ice hidden under softer snow knock against the top of his skull. With a cracking noise it all broke around them in shards.
The two flew haphazardly into the cave as Natsu lost his momentum and balance. He quickly spun around on the balls of his feet so that his back would hit the ground first, shielding Lucy from the impact. The air violently left his lungs as his ribs took the bulk of the hit. He was left sputtering and coughing on the rocky cave floor.
Lucy quickly scrambled off of him. It seemed that she found some energy after the shock of Natsu picking her up and using himself at a battering ram.
“Natsu! Are you okay???” She leaned over him, concern practically dripping from her eyes. “What the hell did you do that for?”
He cleared his throat as he took in a large inhale of air. “I dunno.” His voice came out with a wheeze. “We had to get through all that snow and ice covering the entrance somehow. I figured this was the easiest way.” Despite the pain radiating throughout his head, he felt prideful for the fact that he was able to protect Lucy and bring her safely into shelter and out of the blizzard.
She looked absolutely incredulous. “Why didn’t you just melt the damn snow?”
“...”
A deafening silence washed over the dragon slayer.
The fire dragon slayer.
Instead of words he just locked eyes with Lucy. All he could manage at that moment was a blank face and a prayer to the gods that she would still love him despite the fact that he was a goddamn moron.
All she could return was a look of pity.
Luckily for his ego, a gust of chilling wind broke through the ice hole they had created and distracted them from the pathetic moment.
“Gosh, I didn’t think I’d last out there much longer. See? I told you I could keep going.” Lucy hugged herself tightly against the cold.
His eyebrow twitched, “Well-”
“But seriously Natsu.” She cut him off while shyly looking down at the cave ground. “Thank you for helping me today, despite my attitude. And thank you in general, for always helping me.”
Natsu was surprised by the sudden seriousness of her tone.
He blushed as he scratched the back of his head nervously. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll always protect you.” He hesitated before reluctantly adding, “What’re partners for?”
She gazed over at him with a smile. For a minute the two just sat, in the almost pitch dark-cave, simply smiling at each other. An unspoken feeling was acknowledged by the two. Something that neither could truly put into words.
At least, not now.
The freezing wind broke the silence, once again.
“Ugh, after today I am going to need a nice long bath.” Lucy complained playfully. “I feel frozen to my bones.”
Natsu chuckled at her. “Let’s set up for the night. We both could use some rest. How about we search for the vase tomorrow?” He noted how deep the cavern behind him seemed, not wanting to risk Lucy’s health any further for one day.
“I can agree to that.” Lucy nodded. Natsu silently cheered that she wouldn’t fight him this time. “Would you be able to set up the fire pit for tonight? It’s going to take me a while to take off all my gear.” She gestured towards her puffy frame.
He resisted another laugh. “Oh yeah, no problem. We wouldn’t want you rolling away in your sleep.”
“Oh shut it!” She shot back with a grin and an over-exaggerated eye roll.
The two went about setting up camp for the night. Natsu pulled the pieces of dry firewood out of his bag and picked up a handful of large cave rocks to build a makeshift fire pit by the mouth of the cave, making sure there was enough ventilation for the smoke. He carefully placed the wood into a pyramid so the flames would last throughout the night.
When he deemed the pit worthy, he let out a blast of fire to quickly ignite the wood pyramid. It burst into flames immediately, the strong flames warmed the surrounding area quickly. Natsu stuck his hand into the fire to adjust some of the firewood pieces before feeling content.
“Hey Lucy, the fire’s ready. Come over and harm up-” He turned back around and was faced with the blonde, stripped of her outerwear, now only wearing a tight black tank top and a small pair of gray boy shorts.
Natsu only stared back, jaw slacked open.
Okay, Lucy was always wearing skimpy clothing. There is nothing different about it now. He reasoned at lighting speed. His eyes were locked at where her top dipped down to her cleavage, rising and falling with each breath, then trailing down to her toned stomach and over her wide hips which were accentuated by the thin cotton of her shorts.
She must have noticed him staring because she nervously brought her hands up to shield her body as her face reddened. “O-oh, sorry for the outfit.” She started, looking anywhere but his face. “These were the only clothes that didn’t get wet…” She awkwardly gestured toward the mass of clothes laid out on the ground to dry.
He only glanced at them for a second before going back to ogling his partner.
“It’s fine! I don’t mind.” He forced his eyes up to the ceiling, realizing how much of a creep he was being. “What about your clothes for tomorrow?” Natsu said, striving to quickly change the subject.
God, poor Lucy must hate having to be stuck in here with a pervert like me.
“Unfortunately, it looks like my whole pack got pretty wet. If I leave all my things by the fire tonight I’m hoping they’ll be dry before tomorrow.” She yawned deeply, swaying on her legs for a moment. “Yeah I don’t think I can do much more for them right now.”
Natsu refocused when he remembered just how exhausted Lucy must be. Dirty thoughts were quickly replaced with worry.
“Lucy come sit and warm up by the fire.” He instructed, “I’ll put your clothes out and set up your sleeping bag, okay? You should really rest.” He walked over to her bag with purpose.
She complied as she tiredly walked over to a warm spot facing the cavern’s mouth. Her body gave out as she sat down clumsily, her legs not complying due to overuse. She brought her knees up to her chest and hugged herself to warm up quicker.
“Actually Natsu…” She began while locking eyes with the flames, her back turned towards him. “I think my sleeping bag got wet too.”
He froze.
“Uh what?” He looked over to her, desperate to see her turning back at home to laugh at his obvious shock. His brain began misfiring as he was met with no indication of a joke. His mind conjured up a million different conclusions of what Lucy was alluding to, ignoring the obvious one at all cost.
“So maybe,” She squeezed her legs tighter, still not turning to look at him. “If it’s okay with you… I’d like it if…”
Natsu held his breath. His fists clenched and unclenched.
“We could share a sleeping bag tonight?”