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Chapter 11: Losing Myself Back To You; Danny, Jericho, BCC

Summary:

Danny thinks about all he's lost in the last year or so.
Based on the prompt: I’ve thrown away everything for you. After the Rain(Blue Rodeo) Danny with Jericho, with either 2.0 or BCC comfort.

Notes:

Find me on Tumblr: blackpoolcombatwriter

Chapter Text

Danny sighs as he hits the reject button on his phone for the fifth time that night. Matt and Angelo keep trying to call him, and won’t take the hint that he keeps sending them to voicemail. He’s not heartless, he did text them to let them know he’s safe but he wants to clear his head. It’s only half true. He does need to clear his head, but clearing his head does not involve him practically stalking the Blackpool Combat Club through the streets of this week’s city after overhearing their plans to walk to the hotel. He’s torturing himself, watching the version of the BCC without him because he chose Jericho. In another life, another decision, another choice, he’s walking with him, maybe with Bryan’s arm around his shoulders the way Mox’s has wrapped his around Yuta.

His mind goes back to so many conversations with Jericho, the promises that weren’t kept, the matches he was made to take the pin to protect Sammy or Jericho, the title shots that never came for him, for Matt, for Angelo. If it had just been him, Danny might have accepted Bryan’s offer, but there was no way Matt and Angelo would want to join or be offered a spot. He’d been ready to leave Jericho, he’s sure he was, but he hadn’t been ready to leave Matt and Ang. So he gave up his potential spot in the BCC for them, and for Jericho’s promises.

“Danny?” Danny jumps, eyes widening when he sees Yuta standing in front of him. He’d gotten lost in his thoughts and stopped watching the BCC, but obviously they’d noticed him following them. “You okay?”

Danny notices the older three members standing apart from Yuta, doing their best not to appear obvious that they’re watching them. “I’m okay,” he lies. “Just needed some air.”

“You hungry?” is not what Danny’s expecting Yuta to ask. “Mox wants food and Claudio knows a place that has vegan stuff for Bryan.” Of course, they all like each other enough to hang out outside of work. Jericho would never lower himself to being seen with Danny, Matt, and Angelo outside of the arena. “Come with us?”

Danny’s already shaking his head before Yuta’s even finished his question. He can’t. He just can’t. He can’t sit with them, seeing them interact, joke, care about each other, knowing he could have been a part of them. Sure, Matt and Angelo care about him but their loyalty will always be to each other first and him second. Sammy and Tay have each other, and Anna’s usually with them with Jack hanging around. Hager’s a loner, but seems to be Jericho’s favourite. The Jericho Appreciation Society has double the members of the BCC, but somehow Danny’s so lonely in the group while Yuta seems so happy.

“Danny,” this time it’s Bryan, and Danny looks behind Yuta to find Bryan coming closer to them. “Join us.”

Seeing only friendly faces, and possibly a little bit of hope in Yuta’s eyes, Danny agrees. He’s been working hard to repair the friendships he all but abandoned because Jericho had insisted they were holding him back. Jericho had convinced him if he joined the BCC when he’d been given the choice, that he would always be playing second to Yuta. Yuta was their first chosen one and Danny would always be playing catch up, that Yuta would be jealous and turn on him, that Jericho was the only person who would always choose Danny. Jericho had Danny’s mind so twisted into believing he owed everything to the veteran, so much so that when Jericho demanded he give up his friendships outside of the JAS, Danny did without a second thought. Jericho had him convinced he knew best and that if Danny let him mold him, the rewards would be great.

“After you, Danny-boy,” Mox sweeps an arm toward the door that Claudio is holding open for the group. Danny glares at him as he passes by, following Bryan and Yuta into the restaurant. He ends up sitting in between Yuta and Claudio, with Bryan and Mox sitting across from them. He learns quickly that the seating arrangements might not have been the best when Mox starts poking at Bryan, teasing him in a way that actually sounds like teasing instead of teasing disguised as insults the way Jericho does it.

Danny barely says a word during the meal except when prompted by a question. Part of it is just enjoying the conversation that flows so naturally between the other men, inside jokes he doesn’t understand that he could have been a part of if not for Jericho. The other part is feeling like he doesn’t belong with this happy group. He didn’t choose them, even if they had, at one point, chosen him. But he said no, and he lost them. Jericho made sure of that.