Chapter Text
PERCEPTION (Sight) - Splotches of blood are spattered about the sink and surrounding countertop.
VISUAL CALCULUS - All of it dried to different degrees. Not enough bloodshed to warrant a hospital visit, but still an alarming amount.
PAIN THRESHOLD - Yours.
VISUAL CALCULUS - The source of it all lies in the sink - a bloodstained razor blade.
INLAND EMPIRE - A friend.
PAIN THRESHOLD - A friend to numbing your mind without any substances. A friend to sobriety.
VOLITION - It shouldn’t be.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Challenging: Success] - Right? Sobriety is too lame for the likes of Tequila Sunset.
PAIN THRESHOLD - You can feel it gliding into your skin just looking at it. Your thighs and arms begin to ache and itch *just* underneath the surface.
HALF LIGHT - Something’s trying to crawl out of you through the scars there.
YOU - Oh.
DRAMA - “Oh?” That’s all?
YOU - Well, I knew this was here.
SUGGESTION - Kim doesn’t.
YOU - *OH.*
AUTHORITY - Quite.
RHETORIC - You should really clean this up.
HALF LIGHT - You need to *get rid of it.* You can’t take any chances.
YOU - Fuck, do I even have anything that would clean this?
ENCYCLOPEDIA [Medium: Failure] - Hydrogen peroxide is commonly used to clean up blood stains.
ESPIRIT DE CORPS - In certain fabrics. That would be entirely unnecessary for a solid surface like this.
LOGIC - Cold water and a bit of soap will do just fine here.
INTERFACING - You’ll have no problem getting cold water from *these* pipes.
- [CONCEPTUALIZATION: Formidable] You know what, I think it adds a nice ambience, actually.
1 Read about color theory
-3 It’s literally just blood
- Oh my god, no it fucking doesn’t, I’m cleaning this up.
AUTHORITY - Damn right you are.
ENDURANCE - Are you, though? The first stain you scrub at is already getting you frustrated.
VOLITION [Formidable: Success] - But you power through, and you move quickly on to the next major spot.
PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT - You spend the next few minutes scrubbing the sink and counter around it from any traces of blood.
SAVOIR FAIRE - It takes longer than you’d hoped it would, but after a bit of work the sink is cleaner than you’ve ever seen it.
INLAND EMPIRE - You’ve only known this sink for four days, but it’s still a major accomplishment.
HAND/EYE COORDINATION - Voila!
INTERFACING - A gorgeous, spotless sink!
PAIN THRESHOLD - For now. There will be more blood eventually.
PERCEPTION (Sight) - There’s still a whole lot of blood in that towel, actually.
VISUAL CALCULUS - And the razor’s still out. You’re not quite done yet.
- [Trash them]
- [Hide them]
VISUAL CALCULUS - Good thinking. The trash is too visible.
RHETORIC - Kim shouldn’t have any reason to open the sink cabinet. That’s a good spot.
PERCEPTION - As you stash the evidence under the sink, two gentle knocks sound from the bathroom door.
KIM KITSURAGI - “Harry? Are you alright in there?”
REACTION SPEED - Damn. You were so focused you forgot why you came here in the first place.
SAVOIR FAIRE - The clothes you brought in lie on the floor by your feet. Luckily, barely any blood reached them in the cleaning process.
SUGGESTION - I can’t believe I have to say this, but don’t tell him you were cleaning up blood.
- “Just tidying up a bit.”
- “I, uh, got lost. Sorry.”
- “I’m good!”
YOU - “I, uh, got lost. Sorry.”
KIM KITSURAGI - “Ah.” You can hear the smile in his voice. “Be sure to find your way back, Detective.”
YOU - “You got it.” And he can hear your fingerguns.
PERCEPTION (Hearing) - You hear his footsteps padding away from the bathroom before a chair scrapes across your kitchen tile.
REACTION SPEED - The coffee’s done already. Hurry up!
- Clean yourself up a bit first
- Get dressed quickly and join Kim
- Join Kim without getting dressed
SAVOIR FAIRE [Easy: Failure] - You bump into the wall a couple times fumbling your clothes on.
PHYSICAL INSTRUMENTS - But before you know it you’re fully clothed and opening the bathroom door.
KIM KITSURAGI - When you enter, the Lieutenant is seated at the foldable table next to your kitchenette, sipping at his coffee. A second mug lies waiting for you on the makeshift dining table.
KITSCHY RADIO - The song playing now has more of a swinging beat than the last song. The drummer is particularly enthusiastic, but the other instruments match its energy well.
EMPATHY - The recording of this song was a fun night for everyone involved.
KIM KITSURAGI - “You’ve found your way. Good.”
YOU - You sit down at the chair across from him and just hold the coffee in your hands. It’s still much too hot for you.
PERCEPTION - But the warmth feels nice in your hands.
HEALED MORALE 1
- [Take a sip anyway]
- “Thanks, Kim.”
- “What’s this station?”
- “How have you been?”
- [Say nothing]
YOU - “Thanks, Kim.”
KIM KITSURAGI - “You’re welcome.” He makes a circular motion with his mug, watching the coffee swirl inside.
- [Take a sip of coffee]
- “What’s this station?”
- “How have you been?”
- [Say nothing]
YOU - You point at the radio. “What’s this station?”
KIM KITSURAGI - “72.3. Just a jazz station I listen to sometimes.”
EMPATHY [Medium: Success] - It helps him focus, particularly with personal projects.
INTERFACING - He has built many model motor carriages and aerostatics listening to this station.
KIM KITSURAGI - “What do you think of it?”
- “I think it’s pretty disco.”
- “I think it’s pretty lame.”
- “I don’t have any thoughts about it.”
YOU - “I think it’s pretty disco.”
KIM KITSURAGI - Behind his mug, he smirks. “No, detective,” He pushes up his glasses. “It’s jazz.”
SUGGESTION - Oh, you walked into that one, buddy.
YOU - “Well, you know what I mean, I like it!”
KIM KITSURAGI - “I’m glad.”
EMPATHY - He means it.
REACTION SPEED [Easy: Success] - The coffee feels like it’s a safe temperature to drink now.
- [Take a sip of coffee]
- “How have you been?”
- [Say nothing]
PERCEPTION (Smell) - The delightful smell of the coffee envelops your face when you raise it to your lips.
YOU - When it reaches your tongue, you sigh.
PERCEPTION (Taste) - It’s magnificent. You don’t think you’ve ever had better coffee.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY - You need to ask the Lieutenant what brand it is.
- “What coffee is this?”
- “How have you been?”
- [Say nothing]
YOU - “What coffee is this?”
KIM KITSURAGI - “Saramirizian Serendipity. I thought you might like it.” He gestures to the open box on the counter. “You can keep the rest.”
EMPATHY [Formidable: Success] - It’s much too sweet for him to drink regularly, but it works as a dessert every once in a while.
SUGGESTION - He’s… giving you a gift!
ELECTROCHEMISTRY - A *sweet* gift. He’s giving you a treat! That does something for you.
VOLITION - I’m going to ignore that.
RHETORIC - Be normal about it and thank him.
- “Thanks.”
- “Thank you so much, Kim. I fucking love this coffee.”
- “I can keep it? Really? You’re sure?”
- “No, I don’t deserve it.”
YOU - “Thank you so much, Kim. I fucking love this coffee.”
KIM KITSURAGI - The Lieutenant laughs through his words. “It’s no trouble.”
- “Why are you here?”
- What?
- “How have you been?”
- [Say nothing]
INLAND EMPIRE [Impossible: Failure] - What do you mean ‘what’? Why *is* he here?
YOU - He already told me why.
SUGGESTION - And Sensitive Soul over here already told you that was a lie.
EMPATHY - A half-lie. He’s worried about you.
AUTHORITY - He has no right to ‘worry’ about you. You outrank him.
PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT - You’re a grown man, you can handle yourself.
RHETORIC - Can you?
LOGIC - You’ve shown a history of suicidal behavior before and during your investigation in Martinaise.
EMPATHY [Legendary: Success] - By the end of the ordeal, Kim had become viscerally averse to the concept of your death.
ESPIRIT DE CORPS - In a way beyond duty.
EMPATHY - There was one particular thing you said that keeps reappearing in the Lieutenant’s mind.
SHIVERS - “I just need to finish this case. I’ll solve the case, and then I’m gone.”
PERCEPTION - At the time, his eyes found your holster, concealed by your coat. Then he looked away.
ESPIRIT DE CORPS - The words found their way into his notebook that night. He didn’t even mean to write them. The Lieutenant was distracted, but his hand kept moving. When he looked down, there they were, an alarming statement from an alarming man.
KIM KITSURAGI - “Detective?”
SUGGESTION - And then there’s how often your eyes glaze over and you space out to your own little world. It’s weird. You’re weird.
- Well that’s not my fault, now, is it?
- Did I hear something?
YOU - Well that’s not my fault, now, is it?
SUGGESTION - I don’t know what you’re trying to imply.
KIM KITSURAGI - “Harry?”
YOU - You’re all so distracting!
INLAND EMPIRE - Is that *our* fault?
YOU - I don’t know what else–
KIM KITSURAGI - “Harrier.”
PERCEPTION - A hand on your shoulder. You blink back to the present.
KIM KITSURAGI - “Did you get lost again?” There isn’t a hint of judgement on his face.
- “Yeah. Sorry.”
- “No.”
YOU - “Yeah. Sorry.”
KIM KITSURAGI - “No worries.” His hands return to his nearly-empty mug. “Do you know what happened?”
LOGIC [Challenging: Failure] - Nothing happened. What is he talking about?
YOU - “What?”
KIM KITSURAGI - “What got you lost just now. Do you know what it was?”
EMPATHY [Legendary: Success] - He’s genuinely curious, but he also wants you to work through it. He’s a little concerned about these dissociative episodes. Even so, he wouldn’t be offended if you dropped the topic.
INLAND EMPIRE - Is that what they’re called? ‘Dissociative episodes’ has an awful feeling sound to it.
PERCEPTION - Sounds don’t have textures.
INLAND EMPIRE [Godly: Success] - They do to you. And this word feels like the sticky, invasive goo that constantly leaks out of your brain.
INLAND EMPIRE - It feels like the Pale.
VOLITION - You are nowhere near the Pale. You just got caught up in your thoughts. Everyone does.
SUGGESTION - Not to this extent. Not everyone *talks* to their thoughts.
RHETORIC [Medium: Success] - Not everyone’s thoughts talk to them. Don’t tell him about us.
- “I was caught up in my thoughts.”
- “The voices in my head are really loud today.”
- “I don’t know what happened.”
YOU - “I was caught up in my thoughts.” You take a sip of coffee, too, to hide your face heating up from said thoughts.
KIM KITSURAGI - “Ah, I see.”
EMPATHY [Impossible: Failure] - You don’t know what that means.
KIM KITSURAGI - “Does that happen a lot?”
REACTION SPEED - Yes–
RHETORIC - No.
- “Yes.”
- “No.”
- “Yesno?”
YOU - “Yesno?”
RHETORIC - What was that, man?
YOU - I panicked!
KIM KITSURAGI - “Which is it? Do you know?”
- “Yes.”
- [Drama: Challenging] “No.”
YOU - “Yes.”
KIM KITSURAGI - The Lieutenant hums thoughtfully.
ESPIRIT DE CORPS - He wishes he had his notebook with him, but he left it in his kineema.
EMPATHY [Heroic: Success] - He immediately feels guilty for thinking about it. You aren’t something to study.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Maybe he should study you. In a sexy way.
SUGGESTION [Legendary: Failure] - How would– nevermind.
- “How have you been?”
- [Say nothing]
YOU - “How have you been?”
KIM KITSURAGI - His eyebrows twitch at your question. “Busy. My captain is not happy about the transfer request.”
LOGIC - Oh no. Does that mean it’s not happening? Will you never see him again?
INLAND EMPIRE - No more Kim??
PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT - A tension suddenly grips your heart and shoulders. You grip your mug tightly with sweaty hands.
KIM KITSURAGI - “But I’m confident it will go through. The 57th can do without me.”
REACTION SPEED - Thank god.
INLAND EMPIRE - You can’t do without him.
SUGGESTION - For the love of all things disco, don’t fucking say that out loud.
PAIN THRESHOLD - It’ll be good to have someone new in the 41st for when you’re gone.
- “I can’t do without you.”
- “That’s great!”
- “You’re sure?”
YOU - “You’re sure?” You try not to sound too excited.
CONCEPTUALIZATION [Easy: Success] - If you were a dog, your tail would be wagging vigorously.
INLAND EMPIRE - It would be fun to have a tail! You should get a tail.
KIM KITSURAGI - “Yes. Captain Pryce has been in support of it, and–” Something passes through his face before he continues, “To tell you the truth, I think most of my coworkers would be happy to get rid of me.”
LOGIC [Formidable: Failure] - Why would anyone want to get rid of Kim?
ESPIRIT DE CORPS [Legendary: Success] - He didn’t spend 15 years in juvenile detention for no reason. Getting out was like pulling incredibly bigoted teeth.
ESPIRIT DE CORPS - It took him that long to command what respect the 57th gives him.
- “Is it that bad over there?”
- “Well, I hope you’re right about the transfer.”
- “Kim, can humans get tails?”
YOU - “Is it that bad over there?”
KIM KITSURAGI - “Not completely. I have a couple… friends there.”
EMPATHY - The word feels foreign on his tongue. He doesn’t dwell on the feeling.
ESPIRIT DE CORPS - There will be some the Lieutenant will miss, but he’s already considered this. It had little to factor into his decision.
KIM KITSURAGI - “What about you? How have you been?”
DRAMA - Oh, boy. You’ve sure been.
PAIN THRESHOLD - A bit too much being, if you’re honest with yourself.
VOLITION - Which is saying something considering how often you were unconscious these past four days.
PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT - You remember getting out of bed a grand total of five times since you tried cleaning your apartment, but you might have forgotten a few times given how much you’ve been drinking.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY - It’s never enough.
INLAND EMPIRE - You’re so, so tired. You think you’ll never stop being tired.
LOGIC - The alcohol certainly hasn’t helped your sleep quality. Even if it gets you asleep, it’s not a restful one.
PAIN THRESHOLD - But it wards off the dreams.
- “I’ve been drinking a lot.”
- “I’ve been sleeping a lot.”
- Is there anything else I could say about what I’ve been doing?
YOU - What else is going on with me?
INLAND EMPIRE - You’ve been asking that question a lot lately. You don’t really know what to do with yourself now.
RHETORIC - You don’t know how to go forward from here. You don’t know if you want to.
PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT - The endless momentum you had during the Martinaise investigation has run dry.
ENDURANCE - Some of which can be attributed to the bullet you took.
PAIN THRESHOLD - You still haven’t taken the pain meds you set out, by the way.
HURT HEALTH -1
- “I’ve been alright.”
- “Could be better.”
- “I’ve been a bit shit.”
- “Owie.”
YOU - “Owie.” You look down at your leg as your knee muscles spasm for a few seconds.
KIM KITSURAGI - “Is that why those meds were out? Let me get them.” In the same breath he gets up from his chair before you can say a word.
KIM KITSURAGI - It only takes three steps to reach the stove, but it’s three steps more than you’d want to take right now. He takes the bottle from the counter and returns to the table, placing it in front of you before he sits back down.
COMPOSURE [Medium: Success] - His kindness would bring you to tears, but you hold the dam back for now.
KIM KITSURAGI - “Have you seen your lazareth? Gottlieb, right?”
ESPIRIT DE CORPS - The Lieutenant is still getting used to the fact he will likely soon be his lazareth, too.
YOU - “Yeah, he gave me these.” You pick up the bottle and shake out two pills into your hand.
KIM KITSURAGI - His eyebrows pinch together. “That’s all? These are… incredibly low-grade.”
ESPIRIT DE CORPS [Challenging: Success] - You are banned from saying the word ‘morphine’ in Nix Gottlieb’s presence.
ESPIRIT DE CORPS - Not that morphine would help you now, but you’ve asked him for some when you got a papercut once.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Legendary: Success] - Morphine would *definitely* help you out. Morphine’s always got your back, baby.
YOU - As you toss the low-grade pills into your mouth, you wonder if any of the unlabeled drugs around your apartment are actually morphine.
KIM KITSURAGI - The Lieutenant seems to piece something together, because his face loosens in understanding. He doesn’t say anything about it.
KIM KITSURAGI - “Khm. I wanted to apologize for coming over without any warning. I tried calling you, but I never got an answer…”
PERCEPTION - Oh. You remember the phone ringing a few times.
SUGGESTION - You never picked up because the thought of talking to someone made you want to throw up.
HAND/EYE COORDINATION - No, you picked up the phone once. Then you slammed it back down.
REACTION SPEED - You needed the noise to *stop.* You weren’t thinking about who was on the other end because you didn’t care.
SHIVERS - It was Kim. Every call was Kim, and the only time you answered was to immediately hang up on him.
EMPATHY - He was upset at first, when he realized you hung up. But the more he thought about it the deeper the pit of dread in his stomach grew.
EMPATHY - But it meant you were alive.
LOGIC - Or that someone had broken into your apartment. But he figured that was much less likely.
- “Oh.”
- “Who gave you my number?”
- “I’m sorry I didn’t answer.”
- “I didn’t really want to talk to anyone.”
YOU - “I’m sorry I didn’t answer.”
KIM KITSURAGI - “It’s fine. Thank you for letting me in regardless.”
KIM KITSURAGI - “How’s your report coming along? I saw something on your desk, but I didn’t read it.”
REACTION SPEED - On your desk? You haven’t written your report yet.
PERCEPTION (Sight) - When you look over, you do see a paper with a bit of writing in the center. A pencil lays on top of it, obscuring the words from your view. The bin next to the desk is filled halfway with crumpled pieces of paper.
REACTION SPEED - Oh.
RHETORIC - *OH.*
PAIN THRESHOLD - That isn’t your report. They’re goodbye letters.
RHETORIC - They’re *suicide notes* is what they are.
COMPOSURE [Heroic: Failure] - You feel like you’ve been kicked in the stomach, the way all of the air leaves your lungs and a deep ache punches you in the gut.
SUGGESTION - Thank god he didn’t read them. You don’t even remember what’s on most of them.
EMPATHY - One night, you sobbed and spilled alcohol onto the paper more than you wrote on it. You couldn’t think of anything to say other than “I’m sorry,” so that’s all you wrote.
HAND/EYE COORDINATION - The urge to toss the contents of the bin out the window is overwhelming.
LOGIC - Don’t do that. Someone would find them.
ESPIRIT DE CORPS - They might call the police about it, believing someone is dead. Then Jean would find out about them.
EMPATHY - You still don’t know what your relationship is with him, but the thought of him reading those notes–
PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT - You’re being crushed. You can’t breathe. You’re shaking.
CONCEPTUALIZATION - Your *lungs* are collapsing.
HALF LIGHT - If you can’t throw the notes out the window, you could throw yourself out of it.
VOLITION [Medium: Success] - No, you aren’t going to do that. That’s silly.
- “Go ahead and take a look.”
- “You can’t read that.”
- [Just run over]
YOU - Your body snaps out of your chair and across the room and you pick up the paper at your desk.
HALF-FINISHED NOTE - Whoever finds—
YOU - You rip it in half.
PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT [Easy: Success] - And you rip it again. And again.
HALF LIGHT [Medium: Success] - And again. And again. And again—
YOU - You throw the pieces in the bin. They float unsatisfyingly to the top of the pile, barely moving the other papers inside.
KITSCHY RADIO - A lull falls between songs, leaving the two of you in silence for a moment.
PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT - You can feel a bead of sweat roll down your neck. You can feel each hair it displaces on its path.
ENDURANCE - Your breaths are so, so loud. It’s the only thing you can hear over the ringing in your ears.
KIM KITSURAGI - “…Was it really that bad?”
- “Yeah.”
- “No, it was good. I just hate making good things.”
- “It’s some stupid poetry I was working on.”
YOU - “It’s some stupid poetry I was working on.”
KIM KITSURAGI - “I’m sure it had some room for improvement.”
YOU - “No.”
KIM KITSURAGI - “Okay.”
EMPATHY [Medium: Success] - He doesn’t know what to say to that. He doesn’t think anything he could say would make you feel better.
EMPATHY [Formidable: Success] - He’s right.
- “Sorry.”
- “I haven’t started my report yet.”
YOU - “I haven’t started my report yet.” You turn back toward him and sheepishly return to your seat.
KIM KITSURAGI - “I see. Would you like to do that together?”
ESPIRIT DE CORPS - The Lieutenant will not hold your hand, but he can see you’re struggling.
VOLITION [Heroic: Failure] - He doesn’t know the half of it.
YOU - “I don’t know if I can tonight.”
KIM KITSURAGI - “Alright. How about tomorrow?”
VOLITION [Challenging: Success] - That’s… possible.
YOU - “Maybe.”
KIM KITSURAGI - “Would you like me to come over again, then?”
INLAND EMPIRE - Having Kim help would pass this from possible to doable.
- “Don’t bother.”
- “Sure.”
- “Yes, please do.”
- “Are you leaving?”
YOU - “Are- are you leaving?” Your voice carries the weight of a kicked dog.
KIM KITSURAGI - “Not right now.” He considers his words for a moment. “Do you think it would be unsafe to leave you alone?”
YOU - You look at the floor and pick at your nails. Do you tell the truth?
RHETORIC - What truth, that just hours ago you were arguing with voices in your head about whether or not you should kill yourself? That you had to clean up your own blood so he wouldn’t see it? That you just tore up a suicide note? Of course you’re not telling him that!
SUGGESTION - Well not *like that.* At the very least.
RHETORIC - Well then how would you *suggest* we tell him?
SUGGESTION [Legendary: Failure] - Saying something else.
REACTION SPEED - You’ve been quiet for too long.
KIM KITSURAGI - His face softens. “I can spend the night. We can talk more tomorrow, Harry.”
INLAND EMPIRE [Impossible: Failure] - Harry. It should be a sin to make such an ugly name sound so beautiful.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY - You could get drunk on his voice. *Harry, Harry, Harry…*
RHETORIC - ‘Talk more tomorrow,’ about what?
ESPIRIT DE CORPS - The report.
PERCEPTION - Your apartment.
EMPATHY - Your mental health.
RHETORIC - Or lack thereof.
KIM KITSURAGI - “I’ll have to get something from my kineema, though. I’ll see you in a moment?”
YOU - “Yeah. Yeah, okay. Sounds good.”