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Unfit to Hold a Candle To

Summary:

An accident on a bridge leaves Miles and Gwen wondering not only where they stand together, but also as spiders.

Notes:

there were... definitely a few artistic liberties taken

Work Text:

Miles’ leg bounces. The chair rattles against the wall with every movement, but he can’t get himself to stop. As it turns out, hospital chairs in every universe are cold and uncomfortable.

There’s a TV in the corner of the waiting room playing some home remodeling show with two characters that Miles doesn’t recognize on silent. Following the subtitles can only be distracting for so long. And just like his universe, there’s nothing else to do but wait.

Keeping his phone on him while web-slinging is a recipe for disaster, but now Miles wishes he had it on him more than ever. Cell service probably won’t pass through universes but at least the games on his phone still work.

At this point, Miles would take anything. Waiting is going to take him down long before any madman in the city is going to.

The worst part is that he can’t keep his mind from wandering.

Gwen’s confident laugh as she swings ahead of him, webs latching onto one of the branches of a tree lining the river.

Her movements through the air, as if she was made to do this.

Pulling up on the web, propelling herself forward.

 

“C’mon!”

Being able to hear her through the wind in his ears is the most surprising thing to Miles. He’s gotten used to swinging by Gwen’s side, each popping into the others’ universe at every opportunity they can. Sometimes the other Spidermen—spider people, spider things —will join them, but sometimes it’s just the two of them. Just like how it is right now.

It’s times like these that Miles doesn’t mind hanging around behind Gwen. Watching her fly through the city is something to marvel at, and Miles is fine with being the first person to admit it. Peter didn’t even look that cool swinging through the city, and Miles knows he definitely doesn’t either.

Cutting through the air, Gwen makes an excited whoop, latching onto the next tree.

The flying man in front of them matches her voice with a maniacal laugh, turning to gloat as he manages to beat his mechanical wings faster and faster. 

It feels like it happens in an instant.

One second Gwen is swinging, up and away with one hand outstretched, and the next she’s falling.

“Gwen!” Miles can feel his heart stutter, but he’s too far away to do any good. He’s already losing momentum in his current swing, and if he reached out now, the only thing his webs would be able to grab onto would be air.

The villain cackles loud enough to carry along the riverbed, and Miles can see the exact moment that Gwen looks up at her broken web. It coils down, shrinking as she falls sideways.

And then she reaches up her arm, and Miles can breathe again.

Until she points it at the villain, rather than the next tree.

 

Miles knows that he probably needs to call someone. Scratch that- he definitely needs to call someone. But who?

It’s not like he could call his mom, even if he did want to risk popping back into his dimension. She wouldn’t understand, and she’d get too worried and pull Miles away from Gwen.

He can’t risk that.

Even if he could use his phone in this world, it’s not like he knows anyone inside of it other than Gwen. She’s talked about her friends before, but it’s not like Miles really knows them.

Miles runs a hand over his face, and when he looks up, everyone is staring at him.

Right.

Dressed up like a spider-person is bound to grab some looks, even though he’s in the same position as everyone else here. Waiting to hear information about their loved ones.

Blinking at his own thoughts, Miles pauses. Loved ones? Is he really there with Gwen now? It hasn’t really been that long, but the more he tries to rationalize his thoughts, the more jumbled they get.

It’s something that he’ll be able to figure out after. After he hears that Gwen is going to be okay, that his freaking out was just an overreaction and that everything’s going to be just fine.

And then finally, finally, a nervous orderly finds him in the waiting room and confirms that Miles is there because of Gwen. Because of the spider-woman dressed to save the city.

His voice cracks when he answers her, but she still takes him back. Through hallways that twist and wind that Miles can’t keep track of. Ending in a room with a single bed inside of it.

Slowly, Miles sinks into the chair beside the bed, and when he looks up to give the woman a thanks for bringing him here, she’s gone. Shaking his head to himself, Miles reaches out toward the bed, but stops when his fingers are a fraction of an inch away from Gwen’s.

He shudders.

 

The villain, Moreau, gives a surprised cry as Gwen’s webs wrap around his wings, goo getting stuck in the mechanical gears that were previously keeping him suspended above the bridge.

He falls, but so does she.

Propelled by the momentum that was once carrying her to safety, but has now become a death sentence. Too far away, Miles can only watch in horror as she gets closer and closer to the bridge. She comes to a stop, so sudden that it almost reminds Miles of a car crash.

One second she’s moving a few dozen miles an hour, and the next, nothing.

Miles can see the top of her body hit the bridge at an alarming speed, unable to stop herself in time.

She doesn’t catch herself, either, and instead begins falling straight down toward the water. Moreau lands painfully on the bridge, a shout accompanying him, but all of Miles’ senses are attuned to Gwen, not him.

Finally close enough, Miles holds on tight to his web and shoots another out, aiming a few feet below Gwen to catch her. With the extra airtime that he gains, Miles is able to shoot another web and attach it to one of the pillars of the bridge.

After what feels like forever, Miles is able to take a breath.

Everything’s going to be fine.

 

“Everything’s going to be fine,” Gwen murmurs, voice slurred, sounding so unlike her that it makes Miles’ head spin.

He squeezes her hand, but when she doesn’t squeeze back it just makes him feel worse. He doesn’t know how to fix this. How to console her, or make this better, but somehow Gwen’s able to do that for herself.

Blinking down at him, she reiterates, “I’ll be okay.”

If it were any other circumstance, Miles would believe her. “Okay.” But after looking at her right now, fragile as he’s ever seen her on this hospital bed, Miles isn’t sure if he’s going to be able to trust Gwen this time. 

It doesn’t help that just hours before, she was far from confident.

 

Hauling himself up onto the bridge, Miles crouches, keeping a tight hold on the webs holding Gwen. Suspended over the river in a sac of webs, Gwen stays unmoving while Miles does all of the work. Not that he minds, or that it’s difficult for him, but the unmoving figure doesn’t help his anxiety by any means.

Finally, laying her flat, Miles begins to tear open the webs, letting Gwen lay flat on the bridge. There’s still the villain, only a few dozen feet away, but Miles could care less about him. “Gwen?”

To his relief, she blinks up. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Smiling back, Miles leans back on his heels. “Are you okay?”

She blinks again, but doesn’t answer his question. Instead, Gwen frowns and eventually asks one of her own, “M-Miles?”

His heart is thrumming a million miles an hour. “What’s wrong?”

 

Later, when the doctor came to check up on Gwen, she announced her diagnosis with a grim voice, “Total dislocation of the C-4 vertebrae,” Pointing along a model as she speaks.

Miles’ eyes are glued to the picture on the doctor’s iPad. Colors bright to show obvious tissue structures and bone. It seemed unreal.

“But you can fix it, right?” Gwen asked, only taking a glance at the screen.

“‘Fix’ is a strong word,” The doctor began, voice slow, but somehow still too fast for Miles to sort through it. “We can move forward from where you are right now with physical therapy, but-”

“We’ll be able to fix it,” Gwen interrupts, eyes moving towards Miles.

He’s sure that if her neck wasn’t encased in a brace, she’d move her entire body away from the doctor. Clearing his throat, Miles does his best to nod without stuttering. “Yeah. I- I’m sure.”

The doctor looks between the two of them for a few long seconds, before tucking her iPad back under her arm. “I’ll let you two discuss. If you have any questions, the nurses will be able to page me.”

“Thanks,” Miles replies, not because he really knows what to do, but because it seems like the right thing. His mom has always taught him to be polite over everything else, and it’s not like Gwen’s diagnosis is at the fault of the doctor.

Once the door has clicked shut, Gwen doesn’t waste any time. “I’ll be fine. We know- look, we know so many people in so many universes. At least a few of them are going to know what to do.”

“Yeah.” All of a sudden, it feels impossible to meet her eyes. Suddenly standing, so fast that Miles’ chair falls behind him, only caught by learned reflexes, he says, “I’m gonna go call- tell them. The spiders, from the other universe? You’re right. They’ll probably know what to do.”

As he talks, Miles brings up his right hand to scratch the back of his neck, before pausing mid-movement. What if Gwen’s never going to be able to do something as simple as that again?

“Miles?”

Pulling himself out of his thoughts, he puts on a smile. “What’s up?”

There’s a pregnant pause before Gwen finally answers, “Can you also call my dad?”

“Of course.” There’s no hesitation. No question about the type of person that he is. “Of course, I will.”

Miles stumbles through the hallways until he finds himself back in the waiting room. There’s an inter-universal phone on his person—more of a fancy radio, really—but just when he’s about to pull it out he sees a sign warning against cell phones in the room.

Somehow, going outside feels like a betrayal to Gwen. 

It’s already dark out, and Miles takes a few seconds to right himself in the emergency room parking lot. It feels like just a few seconds ago he and Gwen were swinging in the afternoon sun, laughing with each pull of momentum.

Eventually, Miles takes a breath and picks up the radio.

Who’s he even supposed to call first in a situation like this? And plus at some point, he needs to go back home- his mom has to be worried sick. Any action feels like it’s going to be too much, but Miles knows he has to do it.

He’s spiderman- a single phone call shouldn’t be able to overpower him. 

With one more deep breath in and out, Miles dials for the next universe over.


“Not really how I thought I’d be spending summer vacation,” Gwen says, once she’s settled down next to the couch in her living room. Being home must be a relief, but it still feels strangely wrong to Miles.

Maybe it’s just because it isn’t his own.

Nodding, he replies, “Yeah, me neither,” before wincing, “But not- not like that! I don’t mind spending it with you- this doesn’t change anything.” Pulling his lips into a stressed smile, he confirms, “You know that, right?”

“I know,” Gwen replies, before adding on a quick, “Dork.”

“Good. No, yeah, that’s good. It’s just, you know. I’m glad to spend time with you.”

Despite nearly all other movements having been halted, Gwen’s still able to grin. “I know, Miles.”

“Cool.” Before he can dig himself into an even more embarrassing hole, Miles plops on the couch, smoothing his pants down with his palms. Now that he’s here, Miles isn’t really sure what he should be doing.

He can think of a dozen things, but he doesn’t want to say the wrong thing, or do the wrong action, or make any move that would make Gwen feel worse.

“You have that face again.”

“No I don’t,” Miles reflexively says, before awkwardly backtracking, “What face?”

“You look nervous,” Gwen carefully answers.

Wrapping a hand around the back of his neck, Miles shrugs. “Oh.”

“And it’s because of me, isn’t it?”

“No. I mean- yeah, no. I’m not.”

“You know I’ll be fine, right?” That’s all it’s been, ever since the doctor gave her diagnosis. One that didn’t seem to have much wiggle room in Miles’ mind, but it’s not like he wants to be the one to crush Gwen’s dreams.

He just doesn’t want to see her be crushed later, that’s all. “It’s just that-”

“I’ve jumped between universes,” Gwen replies, sounding more confident than Miles thinks he’s ever felt. “I’ll be able to handle this.”

“I know, but…” Trailing off, Miles winces at himself. If he continues talking, he’s going to turn into the person that he doesn’t want to be. A person that doesn’t believe in Gwen.

“But what?”

“Nothing,” Miles quickly covers. “When’s your first, uh, appointment? You know, for physical therapy?”

It looks like she’s going to push the subject, forcing Miles to admit the words that were on the tip of his tongue by just a single stare, but after a few seconds Gwen answers, “Two days.”

“Oh.”

Gwen’s eyes look away for a few moments before she begins, “I know you need to get back home, but uh, would you… come with me to the appointment?”

“I’m allowed to?”

This time, she grins. “Of course you are. Why wouldn’t you be?”

“I dunno.” It feels like the more Miles hangs around, the more awkward he becomes. Honestly, Miles thought that he lost that nervous tick after the first few times talking to Gwen.

Clearly, he was wrong.

“But you are right. I do gotta, you know, go home. My dad, he’s been like all over this summer reading thing-”

“It’s okay,” Gwen says, this time interrupting with a smile on her face. “You know me, I’ll be fine here.”

“Yeah.” Standing, Miles does his best to not make eye contact when he stretches. Somehow, it feels wrong in front of her. “But will you be? For sure, for sure?”

“Miles. Go.”

Nervously chuckling, he nods. “Right. I’ll see you. Call you- well, radio you?”

“Just go do your reading, dork.”


Metal against ceramic clanks when Miles makes another pass with his fork over the plate. All he’s managed to do with his food is stir it around, not actually bring it up to his face.

With a sigh, he looks up, only to see his mom staring right at him. “Miles, what’s wrong? Do you not like the food?”

It’s a trick question, and he knows it. “No, no no, food’s good. Great, actually. It’s- it’s really good.”

“Then what’s goin’ on, baby?”

Making a face, Miles replies, “I’m not a baby.” But now both of his parents are looking at him, and there’s no way out. “There’s just…” Looking away, he answers, “I’ve got this friend who’s kind of going through a hard thing, and I don’t really know how to help her.”

After barely a moment of deliberation, his dad asks, “Are you makin’ an effort to?”

“To do what? Help her?”

“Yeah.”

“Of course I am!” That wasn’t even a possibility in Miles’ mind, but now that it’s been said out loud, he can’t help but question himself. Straightening his back, he carefully answers again, “Of course I am. That’s why I’ve been, you know… out for a bit.”

This time when he looks up, neither of his parents say anything.

“Sorry,” Miles tacks on, scooping as much food in his mouth as he can in a single bite.

After a few more seconds have passed, his mom pauses before her next bite. “I think,” She slowly begins, “The best thing you can do for a friend if they’re going through something difficult, is to just be there for them. Don’t disappear on them.”

“I’m not going to,” Miles replies.

“Good. Then if that’s true, I’m sure you’re doing a great job.”

Mumbling a thanks, Miles looks back down at his plate. It sure doesn’t feel like he’s doing much of a good job. All he’s done is stayed by Gwen’s side, practically helpless.

It reminds Miles of the other parts of his life where he’s felt helpless, and before he knows it, the last bit of his appetite for dinner is gone.

Still, he goes to bed determined.


Sitting on a chair, knees pushed together, Miles swallows as Gwen does the same.

There’s a physical therapist working with her, motivating and aiding and doing everything that he should be doing, and then there’s Miles, sitting on a chair wondering what he’s supposed to be doing here. Or if he even should be here.

After all, it’s not like it’s his universe.

But Miles didn’t hesitate to go with Gwen to her first physical therapy appointment and it’s not like he’s going to leave, even if it does kind of feel like he’s in the way. Still, whenever Gwen looks over Miles always gives her a double thumbs up and a smile.

At the back of his mind, past all of the fear and anxiety, he’s happy to be here. Happy to be by Gwen’s side, especially after spending a day back in his own world, doing nothing but worrying.

A few feet away from him, Gwen looks determined. Eyebrows furrowed as she slowly learns the new ins and outs of her chair. There’s a blanket resting over her legs for comfort, and her arms were gently placed on the padded rests. 

All of the machinery is up at the top by her face.

It honestly looks a little overwhelming for Miles, and he’s not even the one that’s going to be using it. He doesn’t need to be the one to know how to understand it, but that doesn’t stop Miles from taking mental notes every time the physical therapist gives a new instruction. He wants to be able to know anything and everything, just in case Gwen forgets.

Not that he thinks she’s going to forget, not by any means, but just in case.

It feels like the entire past week has been built on ‘just in case’s. 

Miles shakes his head as if to physically rid himself of the thought.

Leaning a little further on his knees, Miles listens intently to the physical therapist. He needs to focus just as much as Gwen does. It’s not like he’s going to leave her to do all of this by herself. Sitting in a chair for an hour and a half is going to probably be the easiest thing for Miles in the next few months, but that doesn’t mean that he isn’t prepared to do everything at 110%. He’s determined.

And the thought almost catches him off guard.

Sure, he’s cared for Gwen for months, but they haven’t really been together for more than a few weeks. Yet he doesn’t feel any hesitation to put the rest of his life on pause in order to make sure that she’s going to be okay. And even if she isn’t, Miles knows that he’s going to stay the entire time.

She’s different.

Gwen looks over at Miles, eyes pulled into a squint, as if she can somehow read his mind. With an awkward grin, Miles gives her another thumbs up. “You’re doing great!”

 

“You’re doing great!” He repeats it after physical therapy is done, once they’re both settled back in Gwen’s living room an hour later.

Gwen lets out a puff of air, something akin to a sigh if she could. “Am I?”

Nodding, Miles doesn’t hesitate to reply, “You are! Look, you’re already getting better with the chair- you got over the door frame without any help.”

After a moment, Gwen bites the inside of her cheeks. “What if I don’t want the chair?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean… I’m ready to go back to normal, you know?”

“You’re doing really well in physical therapy,” Miles offers, knowing full well that it’s not what Gwen wants to hear.

“To get back to a new normal.” They’re nearly the same words spoken verbatim from one of her doctors from a few days ago. “What if I want to go back to old normal? Normal normal?”

Miles shrugs. “We don’t really know anything one way or another how long it’s going to take.” Or whether or not it’s even possible. “It’s still early.”

Rolling her eyes, Gwen replies, “It feels like it’s already been too long.”

Truthfully, miles couldn’t agree more. It already feels like he’s lived through two lifetimes since the bridge. Since Miles had to pull her up on the bridge and Gwen’s eyes opened while the rest of her body stayed scarily still. 

Quickly curbing that thought process, Miles puts a smile on his face. “Are you ready for breakfast?”

“It kind of feels like I spent the past hour and a half working out,” Gwen replies. “A really, really weird, eyelid and throat workout.”

Miles is already thinking up a way to make it better and to comfort her, but when he opens his mouth, he realizes that Gwen is smiling. She’s doing just fine. Staying stronger than Miles could ever imagine, because it feels like he’s falling apart at the seams.

Giving a light chuckle, Miles makes his way over to her kitchen.

He’s been to Gwen’s house more than a few times, but rummaging around her own kitchen still feels a little awkward. The last time he did so was a few weeks ago when some routine web-slinging across Gwen’s New York turned into watching movies and an impromptu sleepover.

The thought makes him blush.

Breakfast is a slightly difficult affair, but both of them make it through it eventually. 

It takes Miles an embarrassing amount of time to finally stop spilling oatmeal off of the side of the spoon, and a couple of super-powered reflexes in order to keep the hardwood floors clean. Even then, he still ends up using part of the paper towel roll to clean everything up afterward.

Most of it makes it into Gwen’s mouth though, so they both consider it a win. 

“Not too bad?” Miles asks, doing his best to not look the other way in nervousness. “I mean, I’ll get better with time, right? We’ll get better with time?”

“We did fine,” Gwen says back, a quiet glimmer in her eye. It disappears a second later though, and Miles feels his chest squeeze. “Did you, you know, tell everyone else?”

“The other spiders?”

“Yeah.”

Nodding, Miles swallows, “I did. Back- back at the hospital. They all wanted to see you but I didn’t want to overwhelm you, especially while we were still, you know, in the ER.”

“Thanks.”

“Huh?”

“For calling them and for giving me a bit of time.” Pulling her lips to the side, Gwen continues, “But I’m ready to see them all now. Between all of us, we’ll be able to figure something out to fix this.”

Without the right words to answer, Miles just gives a nod. “I think so. They’ve been doing this longer than we have, so they’ve probably seen something similar. Or something.” Wincing at his response, Miles awkwardly looks around at the seam where the wall meets the ceiling.

“We’ll figure it out,” Gwen says, bringing Miles back to the present. “We have to.”

 

It feels like not too long ago since all of the different Spiders were gathered in a living room. At the time, it was Miles’, right before his life was about to change. A change that was somehow more colossal than actually being bit by that radioactive spider. But now they’ve all gathered again, this time to not prepare for a battle of the ages, but to see one of their own.

Plus, it’s not Miles’ living room anymore.

This time, they’re all in Gwen’s, trying to look as normal as they can. Peter’s not even in his spider suit, and while Noir is still wearing his usual get-up, his cloak isn’t quite as billowy as Miles has come to appreciate. He’s since stopped wondering how exactly it happens.

“So… what happened?” Peni’s the first to talk, breaking the silence.

“A bridge,” Gwen lamely replies.

“The edge of a bridge,” Miles continues, giving a small shrug to the faces that turn toward him. “What? It was the edge of a bridge. We were chasing down some guy with mechanical wings over the river and then- you know.” They definitely don’t know, but Miles doesn’t want to be the one to say more of it. Really, he shouldn’t have opened his mouth in the first place.

When Peter talks, Miles takes a breath of relief when the eyes turn away from him. “Glad to see you’re okay.”

“Okay is a strong word,” Gwen murmurs, somehow both agreeing and arguing with him at the same time. “But, yeah. I guess I am too. But I’m not going to stay in this chair forever.”

“What’s your plan, then?”

“Physical therapy.” A pregnant pause falls over the group, stealing the air from the room. “What?”

“Nothing,” Porker quickly replies. “Nothing.”

“It’s obviously something.”

“What if physical therapy isn’t going to work?”

Scoffing, Gwen replies, “It’s going to work.”

“And if… it doesn’t?” A cold chill falls over the room as Noir speaks, barely looking up from the shade that his fedora supplies him.

“It will,” Gwen bites back.

“But if it doesn’t, we’ll figure something out,” Miles announces, giving a sheepish smile. “Right, guys?” For a reason he can’t place, Miles needs their confirmation. It’s not like he thinks that the crew would actually abandon them, but hearing is different than just imagining an outcome in his mind.

Luckily, Peter doesn’t hesitate. “’Course we will.”

And after him, everyone else murmurs their acknowledgments. Promises to stick together, no matter what happens or how this is going to end.


“Look at that- no spills!” Miles’ arm lifts for a high five before his brain catches up, and instead disguises the motion by running a hand through his short hair. “Told you I was getting better at it.”

Rolling her eyes, Gwen replies, “I can’t believe it took us this long to be able to manage eating cereal without getting milk all over me.”

“And me,” Miles murmurs back, but still nods, “But yeah, me neither. It always looks so easy seeing other people feed people.”

“Yeah, well, usually they’re able to move their necks,” Gwen bites, before closing her eyes with a breath. It’s far from a secret to Miles that Gwen thought by now she’d be much further in physical therapy. The fact that she’s still using her chair feels like a defeat to Gwen, even though she’s mastering it extraordinarily fast, according to her physical therapists.

Smiling at her, Miles points out, “You’re getting there. You know that, right? Got that shoulder movement going. The neck is no problem now.”

“Sometimes. And besides,” Gwen lets out a puff of air, something that Miles has since realized is how she sighs, “It’s basically just my right shoulder that even responds.”

“But that’s better! More than you were able to do before.”

“I should be able to do more by now.”

It’s like she’s missing everything that Miles and her doctors have been telling her. Just because Gwen’s not able to move much of anything past her neck doesn’t mean that she’s not making progress. She’s already gotten further than half of the doctors thought she’d be able to do in a year, or even a lifetime. All in the span of half of summer break.

“You’re doing amazingly. You’re amazing.”

“Miles.”

“I’m serious!”

“You’re such a dork,” She replies, rolling her eyes. “Come here.”

“Why?”

“Just do it. Lean close to me. I want to tell you a secret.”

“A secret?”

“Miles!”

“Okay!” Tossing his hands up in mock surrender, Miles leans in close to Gwen’s face, turning his head so she’s able to whisper in his ear.

But instead, she just kisses him.

And when Miles doesn’t move out of surprise, she does it again.

Eventually, he stutters out a laugh and turns toward her with a smile on his face. “That was… not really a secret, was it?”

“I guess not,” Gwen replies, doing her best to shrug, even when her right shoulder only manages to rise about an inch. “But I don’t see you complaining.”

“I’m not,” Miles quickly says. “Definitely not.” Even though he’s pulled away and halfway migrated back to sitting on the couch, Miles can’t wipe the smile off of his face. It’s not that they’ve never kissed before, not even since the accident itself, but this just feels different. And when he looks up at Gwen and sees the same grin on her own face, Miles’ just grows. “Did you maybe want to watch a movie or something?”

“Or something,” She agrees. “But if we do I’m expecting popcorn.”

“I can do that.”

“And manage to not burn my house down?”

“Totally!” Miles says, maybe a little too quickly. “I’ll keep an eye on it this time, I promise. I won’t even burn it. Cross my heart?”

“That’ll be the most impressive thing I’ll ever see you do if you’re able to manage it.”

“What, you don’t believe me?”

Gwen laughs, still sounding tinny and small because of the lack of diaphragm control, but it’s genuine nonetheless. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

 

Half an hour later finds them both facing the TV, Miles on the couch and Gwen resting on her chair, a fluffy blanket covering her legs. Between them is a bowl of popcorn, about fifty percent of the kernels black. Better than most of the times that Miles attempts to make popcorn, at least.

After little deliberation, the two decided to watch some sort of flick that’s eerily familiar to Miles, like maybe he’s seen the same version in his Universe, but not quite the same. Either something’s missing or something’s added, but there’s enough familiarity in it to be comfortable.

Gwen, on the other hand, hasn’t seen any of it and quickly becomes engrossed with it. Watching raunchy and dramatic flicks became a guilty pleasure of hers, she told Miles, back when she was in middle school before she got bit by her own spider.

Every few minutes Miles looks over and sees her face caught in a half smile, which just makes him grin more than he was before. The two of them spent nearly the entire summer together, but there’s something different about it right now. Something more special than anything else has been.

After the movie has ended, Miles awkwardly clears his throat. “Hey, do you trust me?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Gwen asks a second later, one eyebrow pressed down in confusion.

Miles can’t help but let a smile crawl to his face. “Good.”

 

Swinging through the city, even if it’s not technically his own, feels relieving in a way that Miles wouldn’t be able to put in words, even if it was for a grade. 

Sure, he’s gone swinging out of necessity, and the occasional quick route to the grocery store, but swinging with Gwen is new. Or maybe something that’s just really old. Or maybe something in between.

Perching up on the side of a building, Miles takes a breath of the thin air and looks at the woman in his arms. “Still trust me?”

Her eyes are distant, unfocused, and for a second, Miles thinks that he massively screwed up. But then her lips curl into a smile, a breath escaping her that sounds more like a sigh of relief than defeat. “I never really appreciated the view from up here.”

“Yeah?” Miles takes a look around, turning his neck as far as it’ll go in both directions. “Me neither.”

“But now it’s like… I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to tear my eyes off of it.”

“We don’t have to leave now.”

“At some point we will.”

“Yeah,” Miles doesn’t argue with her, “But not right now. Right now we can just… watch.”

When there’s no response, Miles looks from the view to Gwen, and to his surprise, she seems to be silent out of content, rather than discomfort. Not from anything but taking in the view, just like Miles was a second ago. A small smile comes to his face, and Miles looks back at the city around him.

Somehow, even though it isn’t his own city, it feels like home.


“Are you going to be okay?” Pacing around the room, Miles runs a hand through his hair, shaking his fingers out once he reaches the bottom. He hasn’t been able to think about anything but this for the past week.

“I’ll be fine,” Gwen says, for probably the dozenth time that hour. “Miles, seriously, stop freaking out. I’m gonna be fine. I’m super good with the chair- I got this.”

Miles nods back one too many times. “No, I know you do, it’s just… Is the school gonna be ready for you?”

Giving him an incredulous look, Gwen repeats, “Is the school going to be ready for me? What does that even mean?”

“I don’t know.” Finally, Miles flops down on the couch. 

“Dude, Miles, I’m gonna be fine. You’re more worked up about this than I am, you realize that, right?”

“Yeah, I know. I just don’t want things to be… hard for you.”

After a beat, Gwen gives a long breath out. “It’s… gonna be. We kinda already know that. But I’m ready for it. I”m ready to go back.”

Slowly, Miles nods back.

“And probably more than you are. Assuming your universe is still on the same time as mine, don’t you have to be at homeroom in like thirty minutes?”

This time, Miles’ face blanches for an entirely new reason. “Uh- yeah! You’re right. I, uh, I gotta go! Like, pronto, I haven’t even packed.”

Rolling her eyes, Gwen uses her chin to point to her door. “Go. Seriously, this day doesn’t need to be a disaster for the both of us.”

“It’s not going to be,” Miles assures her. “For either of us. It’s gonna be a great first day of school!”

“Miles.”

“Yeah?”

“Go. Seriously.”

 

Despite her optimism, Gwen’s first day is far from ideal. 

What was supposed to be a school that prides itself in being “accessible and welcome to all” is actually an absolute mess to get around in a chair. Never mind passing period, even just getting around in a classroom felt impossible. All of the worst days at this school put together in all of Gwen’s time here weren’t even as bad as the day she just had.

There’s a quiet woosh from behind her, and Gwen composes herself before blowing in the straw on her chair to turn around. “Hey, Miles.”

He trips on the way into her universe, which somehow elicits a smile out of her even through the shitty day that she’s just had. “Hey! How was… not good?”

“Long.” It’s an understatement. “And frustrating.” Still an understatement. “I really don’t want to think about it. Especially not the fact that I have to go back tomorrow.”

“What happened?”

Scoffing, Gwen replies. “What didn’t happen? It’s like everything just went wrong.”

“If it makes you feel any better I tripped and fell after my second period.”

“Why am I not surprised?”

“And I dropped my books all over the hallway.”

“Typical.”

“Which coincidentally ended up in a puddle of water because the drinking fountain was broken.”

Cracking a small smile, Gwen says, “You always were good on your feet. Oh, wait.”

“I was trying to make you feel better, and this is how you repay me?”

“Uh, yeah.”

Miles gives one last grin at her, before forcing himself to sober a little. “So… what really happened? If you want to talk about it. You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“It’s fine. I mean- it’s not fine. But also it’s fine.”

“What?”

Leaning her head back on the headrest of her chair, Gwen lets a long breath out. “It was just a lot. All at once. My school’s like… I thought it was fine, but it’s totally not accessible. They have the bare freaking minimum. Ramps on the outside, sure, but anywhere in. And there are literally only two doors in the entire school that can open automatically.”

“Oh.” If he actually stops to think about it, Miles is pretty sure that his school is pretty much the same in that regard. Despite the fact that they live in different universes, it feels like there are surprisingly few differences between them. And when there are, they’re usually stark, like Noir’s universe. The actual details are almost scarily similar. “Are you able to- I don’t know, talk to someone about it?” It sounds weak even to Miles.

“I’m just going to be pitied,” Gwen mutters back. “And the worst part is that it’s not like I’m the only one.”

“What do you mean?”

“There’s a ton of other students who aren’t able to get around like able-bodied people can, but if the school hasn’t done anything yet, why would they start now? Nothing that I’m going to say is going to actually be able to make a difference.”

“What if you-”

“Just drop it, Miles. It's not an easy fix.”

“Well, how can I help?”

A few beats of silence pass before Gwen answers, “I don’t think you can. It’s just something that I’m going to have to be able to figure out by myself.”

“Oh.” Nodding, mostly to himself, Miles adds, “Okay.” When he looks back up at Gwen, she’s staring at the wall behind Miles. Somehow, it feels a little too rude to look at her if she’s not looking at him, so Miles follows suit, training his eyes on the side wall rather than Gwen.

They’ve both been able to keep each other in companionable silence before, but right now isn’t one of those times. It feels suffocating instead, as if the walls were closing in on them one inch at a time. Maybe even one centimeter.

There’s an itching feeling in Miles’ brain, something telling him that he has to fix this and that he has to be the one to make this better, but it’s not like he has a plan to do so. He goes to school and lives in a different universe. There’s only so much that he can do from here or there. The thought that there’s no answer, let alone a perfect one, just makes everything feel worse.

But if there’s one thing that he knows, it’s that dwelling on it will amplify this worsening feeling. So, clearing his throat, Miles forces his voice to keep steady when he asks, “Wanna just… get your mind off of it for a little bit?”

“What, until tomorrow?” Somehow, Gwen makes the words sound cynical.

Then again, Miles figures that she has a right to be pretty cynical after the day that she’s had. He can’t imagine a first day of school that bad. Still, he doesn’t let that stop him. “Yeah, just for tonight. You know, let all your worries slip away.”

“You’re acting weird again, Miles.”

It gets a small grin out of her though, so he takes it as a win. “Wanna just watch a movie? Or if you want I can swing us up to some tall buildings and just hang out there?”

“Sure.”

“To which one?”

“Either.”

“Okay-”

“I guess probably to go web swinging. Or I guess you go web-sling while I stay in your arms like some damsel in distress.”

Seeing the look on her face, Miles quickly backtracks, “You’re not a damsel at all- you’re crazy strong and you’re able to handle all of these things-”

“I’m joking, Miles,” Gwen interrupts, grinning at the slightly panicked look on Miles’ face. “I don’t mind letting you do the swinging while I still try to get back on my feet.”

Getting back on her feet, or achieving some type of normalcy that she had before isn’t something that Miles has even heard her talk about for months- not since the beginning of the summer when the accident actually happened. But rather than comment on it, Miles just swallows and nods. “Are you ready to go now? Or wait a little bit?”

“What would we be waiting for? No time like the present, right?”

Smiling, Miles nods back.

From there, it’s just a matter of safely maneuvering Gwen out of her chair without making anything on the desk nearby crash to the ground. It’s easier said than done- Gwen’s taller than either of them really realized.

Once he has a good grip on her, Miles crawls out of the window with his other hand. “Ready?”

“Yeah.” Her face is so close to Miles’ ear that even the whisper sounds loud.

Swinging feels amazing.

It’s really the only way that Miles knows how to explain it. It’s exhilarating in a way that nothing else is, almost like the feeling of a free-falling roller coaster, only times a hundred. And the fact that he’s able to do this with Gwen again is even better. Just like the first time that they did this, Miles feels like he can breathe for this first time. And based on the way that Gwen’s smile is brighter than it’s been all summer, he knows that she feels the same way, too.

Still, by the time the sun sets and both of them are back at Gwen’s house, she’s subdued once again. There’s no way around it, no matter how many swings around the city Miles makes with her in his hands.

“You should go.”

“Are you sure?” She’s situated in her chair and as ready to take on the world as always, but Miles can’t help but feel guilty. Leaving Gwen while she’s feeling bad just feels plain unfair. “I don’t mind staying longer if you’d like.”

“You have school tomorrow, Miles.” With a slow and small, albeit there, one-armed shrug, Gwen adds, “And I do too.”

Even though his first instinct is to argue, Miles makes himself nod back. “Okay. I’ll, uh, swing by tomorrow? Pun intended, by the way.”

Gwen rolls her eyes. “Yeah. See you.”

“See you.”


The second day of school is just as confusing as the first, but the real chaos doesn’t begin until the final bell rings and Miles is stopped from heading to the dorms. 

A hand nearly clotheslines him out in the hallway, “What happened to your super senses?”

“Dude!” Pulling off his headphones, Miles pushes Peter further into the hall, hoping that no one saw them. “First of all, I was listening to music, second of all, you can’t be here!”

“I’m not planning on staying,” Peter answers, before looking up and down at Miles. “Is that seriously what kids are wearing these days?”

Miles can’t help but take a glance down at his feet, face turned into a scowl. “Get to the point.”

“Noir needs some help. Sounded the… multidimensional alarms, or whatever we’re calling these things,” Peter announces, holding up the same device that Miles has been using all summer to go back and forth between his home and Gwen’s. “Needs all the help that he can get. You in?”

Pulling his phone out of his pocket, Miles bobs his head back and forth. He was supposed to go visit Gwen in half an hour. But if he goes with the rest of the spiders she’s going to want to know what’s up, and when Miles tells her, that same subdued look from yesterday is going to come back. And if there’s one thing that Miles doesn’t want, it’s that look to be back again. It feels painful to just see it.

“Miles. Sometime today?”

“Peni has, like, cameras or whatever in her suit, right?”

Peter's mouth opens, gaping a little at the non sequitur. “Sure?”

Nodding slowly picking up speed, Miles holds out both of his hands. “Wait here- actually, no, go to Noir, I’ll be there in a second.”

“Miles, what-”

“I just- I have this crazy idea.”

“We don’t have time-”

“Cameras can transmit between universes, right?”

 

This time when Miles stumbles through the portal, it’s from excitement, not exclusively from his own clumsiness.

“You’re early-”

“I have a crazy idea.”

Gwen frowns. “What kind of crazy idea?”

“Peni’s suit is just mechanical, right? It’s like one big computer.”

“Okay,” Gwen slowly says, not making any connection to what Miles could possibly be getting at. “So? We already know about this.”

“You can help us!”

“Back up.”

Physically, Miles does the opposite. “Look, if we’re able to connect up the camera to- to, I don’t know, your laptop, you’d be able to be there with us when we have to go out saving the city.” Saving multiple, interdimensional cities, but same idea.

For a few seconds, Gwen’s face is unreadable, but it falls right after. “Miles…”

“Please, can we at least try?”

“I’ll be in the way,” Gwen replies, looking hopelessly at her chair. “And I’m not even trying to say that to put myself down- it’s the truth.”

“You won’t be.”

“You can’t promise that.”

“Try it once?” Miles asks, a hair away from begging. “Please?” He doesn’t care either. Miles isn’t above pleading when it comes to Gwen.

“It’s not going to work.”

“Says who? We won’t know until we try.”

Gwen exhales loudly, clenching her jaw. “I’m okay with what happened to me. I’ve made my peace with it. I don’t need anything else.”

“If it totally fails you can say ‘I told you so.’”

“But I’m telling you now.”

Taking another step forward, Miles looks into her eyes. “Just try it? Just once? And if it’s totally a fail, we’ll know, and I’ll drop it. I promise.”

There’s a pregnant pause, one that Miles knows he can’t really afford if he’s going to make it in time with the other spiders, but honestly, he doesn’t really want to be there without Gwen. And then, much to his surprise, Gwen takes a breath and does one of the most solid nods that he’s seen her do since the bridge. “Just this once. And if it doesn’t work, I have the right to complain about it.”

Miles’ face lights up. “Yeah. Of course!”


“I can only see things from one angle,” Gwen says, nearly causing Miles to jump. He’s not used to sounds coming directly into his ears unless he’s jamming out with his headphones. 

“But you can see it all clearly, right?”

“Yeah.” Comes the confirmation.

“Guys,” Peter interrupts, “This is great and all, but we’ve kind of got a problem on our-” there’s a quiet yelp, before he continues, “Hands!”

Nodding to no one in particular, Miles replies, “Right, right. Got it.”

Peni lets out a surprisingly loud war cry given her size, and with that, the battle has begun.

The world itself is already made out of monochrome shades, but the guy they’re fighting against, coined simply ‘Demise,’ threatens to send the world into a sea of black. With each flourish of his hands, it feels like splashes of ink are dropped around Main Street, taking a little piece of the world away with it. And it certainly doesn’t help that the guy is able to move across it effortlessly, as if there isn’t practically a void right where he’s stepping.

Holding on to the edge of a building, Miles shoots a tentative web out at Demise, but it somehow disappears in a woosh of black before it even reaches him. “Uh oh.” This is going to be harder than he thought.

"Gwen, are you seeing this?"

"I'm seeing a lack of something," She replies, and Miles can practically hear her frown.

Across the way, Miles can hear Noir take a heavy breath, but it's cut off with a tune from Peni that Miles doesn't think he's ever actually heard before. "So, what's the plan, exactly?"

"Need to find a weak spot," Peter replies, somehow already sounding out of breath. "Anyone see anything?"

"Yeah, I don't think anyone is seeing anything."

"...Nothing," Noir agrees.

"So, what, we're just gonna go for it?" It's not the worst plan that Miles has ever had, but it's pretty far from the best, that's for sure.

"I'm going for it!" Peni says, and out of the corner of his eye Miles can see her swinging around on his left. There's really no good way to go about this, but at least she looks confident.

With one last shrug, Miles jumps off of the building that he was perching on and begins shooting webs. When in doubt, shooting should work. But that doesn't stop every other piece of web from disappearing as soon as it gets within a few feet of Demise. It seems like no matter how much he shoots, nothing is making a difference.

Demise laughs, loud and booming, and to Miles, it seems like he's practically shaking the ground. With every new step that he makes, more darkness takes over the downtown area. They're running out of time. "Can anyone see behind him?"

"I don't know how to control Peni's extra robot thing," Gwen replies, frustration clouding her voice. "I'm basically just stuck seeing whatever she is. Another set of eyes, sure, but it's the same eyes."

"But you don't have to directly follow what she's looking at, right?"

"What?"

"Miles is right," Peter suddenly says. "The camera catches enough that you can see more than just- whoa!"

"On your right!"

Instinct taking over, Miles immediately sends a web out to his left, changing momentum.

"Wait, not you! Peter!"

Before Miles can even blink, he and Peter collide, a resounding 'oof' elicited from both of them. Shaking his head, Miles awkwardly tries to pull himself up, only to push Peter down in the process.

"Sorry," Gwen says. "I really don't think I'm cut out for this."

"Sure you are!" Peni replies, almost before Gwen's even done talking. "And they're right- you're another new set of eyes, not just mine! I can send my spider around and you'll be able to see through it!"

After a beat of silence that Miles and Peter use as an excuse to get further away from Demise, Gwen answers, "I guess we could try."

Under his mask, Miles smiles. This is going to work- he can feel it. All Gwen needs to do is trust herself, and she'll be able to help them more than she thinks she's able to. Somehow, she just doesn't see her actual worth like Miles does.

"It's... dark," Gwen says, cutting off Miles' train of thought. "But not as much as the front? After he goes through an area, it's like the color returns. Well, not color, but- you know what I mean."

"So behind him is the way to go?"

Peter looks up at the other spiders and grins. "I think we just found our weak spot."

It works. Somehow, they're able to distract Demise enough to let Noir slip through his gaze, and then he's able to take Demise down with a few well-aimed webs. When he drops, the light comes back around him, and for the first time in what feels like hours, Miles is finally able to take a deep breath again. After the second gulp of air, he announces, "Gotta go!" turning before anyone can stop or question him.

A different universe needs him right now, and it's not the one that he's from.

At this point, going through the portal almost feels like second nature. "Gwen, hey."

Turning, she gives him a small smile. It's forced though, and both of them know it.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"You did it," Miles points out, pretty confident that it's a good place to start. "You were able to-"

"It's not the same," Gwen interrupts. She sounds more devastated than the actual incident at the bridge, and it makes Miles shudder. "It's just- nothing is the same anymore, Miles. I can't even help all of you guys."

Miles shakes his head. "But you did! You did, and I'm not just saying that to make you feel better. It's the truth."

After a beat of silence, Gwen admits, "I thought that things were going to be better by now. Normal."

And Miles thought that the idea of normal had gone out months ago. "Things are better now. You've got some shoulder movement-"

"That's not what I mean, and you know it."

Growing in confidence, Miles takes a step forward. "You don't see it the way that I do, Gwen. 'Cause the way that I see it, you've changed so much over the past few months, and all of it has been for the better. This is the strongest you've ever been."

"But I didn't want it to be like that. This was never supposed to be like this."

"I know." And he does. There's not a single part of this last summer that was planned, but it happened anyway. "But it is. And you're- you're doing great. I promise you, you're doing amazingly good. I- I'm running out of adjectives already, but really Gwen, don't think about what there's left to do, think about how far you've gotten already. 'Cause it really is far."

This time, a real and genuine smile comes to Gwen's face. "Thanks, Miles."

"It's just the truth."

She rolls her eyes. "Whatever. And I'll... I'll try to think about it like that, okay?"

"Good. You owe it to yourself."

The two lapse into silence for a long couple of seconds, before Gwen announces, "I think I'm going to call it a night early. You know, homework, and stuff."

"Already?"

"What, you don't?"

"No, I have some, too. I'm just pretending that I'm not."

Gwen gives a small laugh, before saying, "I'll see you later, Miles."

"See you."


Although he'd never admit it, Miles spends the entire next day at school distracted. How could he not? He tossed and turned all night thinking of all of the better things he could've said to Gwen to make her feel better. To just make everything better, period. The different types of language that he could've used. By the time it was time for him to go to his first class, Miles was still caught up on the previous battle, as well as fighting off exhaustion at the same time. And based on the looks that his teachers kept giving him, plus the quick cat-nap that he took during lunch, Miles knows that he wasn't fooling anyone.

It's not like it's something he can talk about with anyone else, though. Comes with the territory of being a superhero.

It did, however, mean that as soon as the final bell rang, Miles got a burst of energy to make it back to his room to set everything down so he can go visit Gwen. The only thing that's going to be able to right his mind again is going to be talking with her, so the sooner the better. Plus, even though it's only been a few days, Miles has already gotten into the routine of visiting her after every day of school. It's a good way to destress and pretend that they don't have homework for the both of them.

"Hey," Miles greets, the second that he's stepped foot in Gwen's universe, and consequently her room. "How was- how're you doing?"

Her eyebrows scrunch for a second before she admits, "Okay, actually."

"You sound surprised."

"I guess I kind of am."

"Was today not supposed to go okay?"

Gwen bobs her head back and forth. "I mean, I wanted it to, but I wasn't sure that it was going to actually be like that. Especially because this year has already been long enough for me. But it was. How was yours?"

"Good," Miles lies. It's not that it was a necessarily bad day, but if he's being honest, Miles doesn't really remember what he was supposed to be learning in each of his classes. "Boring, I guess." That part's the truth. Looking up, Miles squints. There's a small curve to the edges of Gwen's lips. "Seems like you had better than just an 'okay' day."

"I mean, I guess I did," Gwen says, feigning nonchalance. "There's another girl I met who's also a wheelchair user. It was nice, I guess, to be able to just sit and talk with her. No offense to you," Gwen quickly adds, "But it's different talking to someone who understands."

"I get it." And he does. Doesn't mean there isn't a part of Miles that still feels the sting, though. "What'd you guys talk about?"

"Just stuff, I guess. And how practically all of the doors at the school don't open automatically like they're supposed to. She was saying how she was gonna write to someone higher up about it. She's... I don't know. Confident."

"You're confident too." More so than practically every other person that Miles knows. "You could also write, right?" Miles frowns at his words. "That didn't make sense, did it?"

Rolling her eyes, Gwen replies, "I got it. And I Guess so. But how much good is a single letter even going to do?"

"You won't know until you try it."

"And I guess I could do more," Gwen suddenly says, eyes narrowing in a way that Miles knows means she's thinking. "We could organize something? This girl- she knows like everyone in the whole school." Miles opens his mouth to agree, but before he can, Gwen is already speaking again, "And then people would have to listen, right? Especially if able-bodied people were also there. We could make a whole thing about it."

"Yeah! You should."

With a short laugh and a smile, Gwen replies, "I have no idea how we'd do that."

"But you could. You totally could!"

"Can't hurt to try, right?"

"Exactly." Miles can't help but smile at Gwen's own grin. The moments of everything feeling okay have been few and far between since the bridge, but this is definitely one of them. And truthfully, he never wants it to end. "You wanna go swinging?"

Glancing at her hands on the rests of the chair, Gwen points out, "I can't really-"

"Like how we did before. We could hang out on the tops of the buildings again. You know, third day of school celebration?"

"You're a dork," Gwen replies, rolling her eyes.

"I'm taking that as a yes." There's little fanfare getting Gwen out of the chair- Miles is practically an expert at this point.

From there, it's just a matter of swinging with Gwen in his arms, which is something that he's never going to tire from. And this time, she's comfortable enough to move her neck and look at all of the city as they swing by it. Miles picks the tallest building that he can find, scaling the last few feet that he couldn't reach with just his momentum, and gently sets Gwen down next to him. She leans over toward him, half because she has to, and half just because she wants to rest her head on Miles' shoulder.

Reaching an arm around her, Miles can't help but smile. "Good?"

"Good," Gwen confirms, before looking up at him, a grin on her face.

"What?"

Wordlessly, Gwen tilts her head and kisses him.