Archive of Our Own ^beta

“If you’d like to tell me,
how your story began,
I’m sitting right here waiting,
and no you’re not alone anymore.”

– One Ok Rock; Your Tears Are Mine

“Do you prefer this one or this one?”

Jeongguk doesn’t even know the difference between the two pumpkins in Jimin’s hands, so he looks back and forth between the two orange fruits and his very expectant boyfriend, as if his answer would change their entire life. Maybe it does, for Jimin at least.

“Uhm, this one?” Jeongguk points towards the pumpkin in Jimin’s right hand, making his boyfriend raise an eyebrow. Apparently the wrong choice.

“Really?”

“Then this one,” Jeongguk changes his mind, pointing towards the other pumpkin instead, still not able to figure out the difference between the two of them, but he just wants to leave the pumpkin farm and finally go home. It’s a freezing cold day early in October and they are at the same place they go each and every year. It’s nearly as if the month of October changes not only the season and the color of the leaves on every tree, but also Jimin’s whole appearance and mood.

Jimin is a hard working architect, always busy and very strict about his work. Sometimes he works from home and the level of concentration and dedication sometimes scares Jeongguk, because there is nothing that could distract Jimin from his work. Never. Only when Jeongguk nearly forces him to finally stop working and get some rest, it’s when the hard facade starts falling down and Jimin turns from the successful architect into the person Jeongguk fell in love with all these years ago – his loving and caring boyfriend.

The evenings when they both just fall into each other’s arms after a long day are Jeongguk’s favorites, he loves having Jimin finally all to himself after being apart from each other for many hours. Jeongguk supports Jimin in every aspect of his life including his career, but there is nothing wrong with being a bit too clingy after not seeing his boyfriend for over twelve hours.

But when October comes, Jimin has the tradition to take three weeks off from work. Not only to enjoy his birthday, but also because it’s his favorite season of the year. Jimin is addicted to horror movies, he likes to devour book after book while being cuddled under their huge blanket on the couch, and to drink his favorite peach tea. It’s a sight that Jeongguk had to get used to in the beginning, because normally Jimin is in a hurry, working, rushing to the gym, or another dinner with a client. But in October he is home the whole time, with Jeongguk, and to see him rest and regain his energy during his favorite time of the year is probably the most adorable thing Jeongguk has ever seen.

The love for autumn and its many colors comes hand in hand with Jimin’s addiction that’s called Halloween. Jeongguk never thought much about Halloween, always huffing a bit too loudly when he saw people wearing vampire costumes, but for the sake of Jimin’s happiness he gave in every year and tried his best to make Jimin’s Halloween just a little bit better than the last one. Even when that means wearing a new costume every year. For their first Halloween party together, nearly eight years ago, they were invited over to a party at Jimin’s best friend’s Taehyung. The dress code was “Horror Movie”, so Jimin was over the moon when Jeongguk finally agreed to get that Ghostface costume while he dressed himself as Sidney Prescott, one of his victims. Jeongguk was just happy he could convince Jimin that he really doesn’t want to dress as Leatherface (at least Ghostface was kind of hot, no judge.)

During the party, Jeongguk was happy that he was wearing a mask, so he didn’t have to hide the fact he was constantly rolling his eyes at various costumes (a sausage, what the fuck?), but he had a blast watching Jimin having the time of his life, and what more could he wish for? When they arrived home late at night, both of them slightly tipsy, Jimin seemed to like Jeongguk’s Ghostface costume a little too much, but Jeongguk would fuck him in any costume, clothes, or naked – whatever. It even was slightly arousing to fall into character, and it was so easy due to the costumes, and Jimin begging him to please not hurt him had Jeongguk shaking to his core.

Suddenly, a slight nudge against his side makes Jeongguk come back to reality. “Are you even listening to me?” Jimin asks, still both pumpkins in his hands and a pout on his lips. It’s such an adorable sight, so Jeongguk only grins at him with a bright smile.

“I was just thinking about fucking you in your costume this year,” Jeongguk admits shamelessly, and Jimin nearly drops both fruits by the way he gasped.

“Are you insane? Shut up! What if someone hears you?” Jimin whisper-yells, offended.

“Since when do you mi–”

“Jeon Jeongguk, I swear, you better shut up now!” Jimin groans, but Jeongguk notices his red cheeks before Jimin forcefully shoves one of the pumpkins against Jeongguk and turns away. Giggling, Jeongguk carries the pumpkin and follows Jimin like a lost puppy around the area, just to end up carrying five more pumpkins in the end (Jeongguk is sure Jimin just wants to annoy him.)

When they are finally done and Jeongguk was able to load all the pumpkins safely into the trunk of their car, they make their way home. Jimin is concentrating on the traffic, holding the steering wheel of his Porsche Macan with one hand, while the other one rests on the gearshift in the middle. Jeongguk’s eyes are following the landscape outside, the view switching between trees and endless fields, until they make it back into the city, the huge and gray buildings overshadowing the warm autumn vibe.

Whenever Jeongguk thinks about it, the whole warm and peaceful vibe that he feels whenever October is around the corner is only coming from Jimin. Actually, October is a horrible month. It rains nearly every day, the sun is barely out, and even though Jeongguk doesn’t mind the temperature, it’s not really his favorite season. Jimin makes it his favorite season, but then, Jimin makes any season his favorite season, just for the simple fact that he’s by Jeongguk’s side. Jeongguk would dress as a stupid nurse or witch any day of the year if that means making Jimin happy.

Jeongguk’s heart starts beating a bit faster when he suddenly feels Jimin’s hand reaching over, intertwining their hands in Jeongguk’s lap. A smile forms on Jeongguk’s lips before he turns his head around, finding a faint smile on Jimin’s soft lips as well. He is dressed in all black today, only his blonde hair sticking out from a bright orange scarf around his neck. Jeongguk keeps looking at Jimin’s side profile for another long minute, until Jimin looks at him quickly, too, before focusing back on the street.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” Jimin asks, a hint of a laugh in his voice.

“Am I not allowed to?” Jeongguk asks, cheekily, and it makes Jimin snort. “I’d look at you until the world ends if I could.” The words mean a bit more than Jeongguk wishes they would, and he can’t hide the sadness that comes with them.

“Will you still look at me when I’m no longer young and beautiful?” Jimin snickers, not realizing how much this conversation influences Jeongguk. How could he ever? He doesn’t even know why it’s so hard for Jeongguk to talk about it.

“You’ll always be beautiful, Jimin,” Jeongguk remarks, looking back out of the window but never letting go of Jimin’s hand. “Until the end of days.” Jeongguk just wishes his and Jimin’s days would never end.

“You’re being so cheesy today,” Jimin giggles again, squeezing Jeongguk’s hand slightly. “How about I make your favorite dinner and then we’ll watch a movie, alright? You pick.”

Now that lights Jeongguk’s mood immediately, because him picking a movie means no horror today, but Marvel. “Deal.”

The day passes by quickly. Jimin’s food tastes as good as always, and between Tony Stark and Pepper Potts trying to figure out their relationship, Jeongguk and Jimin are already focusing on nothing but each other, heated kisses turning into sensual sex on the couch. The evening couldn’t be any better.

☽

“Taehyung and Yoongi already dressed as Corpse Bride and Victor last year, and Hobi and Joon as Gomez and Morticia Addams,” Jimin sighs in front of his Macbook, his head resting against his hand, making his cheek look even chubbier. Jeongguk finds the view adorable. They are in the same situation every year – Jimin nearly loses his mind thinking about how to dress up this year, while Jeongguk only waits for his decision, already accepting his fate. “But I want to wear something cool this year, something unexpected. Taehyung is throwing a huge party, and we surely won’t lose against them in the couples costume contest. Everyone should see that we are the best couple,” Jimin whines, pulling at his own hair out of stress.

Slowly, Jeongguk comes walking closer, putting his hands on the back of Jimin’s chair and leaning over him, kissing the top of his head. “We are the best couple, even if we come without any costumes. Trust me,” he whispers, kissing Jimin’s head again. “Don’t stress yourself too much, okay? We still have time until Halloween.”

“You’re right, but still,” Jimin sighs again, scrolling through Pinterest for the nth time. “Like, there isn’t even any inspiration! Look at that bullshit – Buzz Lightyear and Woody? Super Mario and Peach? Angel and Devil? That’s so fucking stupid and boring.” Jeongguk nearly laughs at the frustration in Jimin’s voice, because he simply doesn’t get the hype around Halloween and costumes at all. He gets that it’s important for Jimin, but in general, he couldn’t care less.

“I’m sorry for being so whiny about this,” Jimin then says while slapping his Macbook close, “I know it’s not your thing and you’re just doing this for me. Maybe we shouldn’t go at all this year.” Now that makes Jeongguk nearly jump, because what the hell did he just hear?

“Listen, baby,” Jeongguk starts when he crouches next to Jimin’s chair, looking up at his frustrated face. “It makes you happy. And I’m happy when you’re happy, alright? We’ve been doing this for eight years now, trust me, I’m doing anything for you. You work so hard throughout the whole year, I just don’t want you to be so stressed during your time off as well,” he explains, and Jimin’s features slowly soften.

They’ve been a couple for over eight years now and there was barely anything that Jeongguk denied Jimin. His first priority was always his boyfriend, and the same goes for Jimin. He always makes sure to take care of Jeongguk during his bad days, his stressful days at work, or just when he needs him, and that’s something that makes their relationship so special. They can always trust and rely on each other, there aren’t any secrets between them – well, besides one. But it’s just one, and it’s one thing that Jeongguk has never been ready to share. Maybe he should do it one day, maybe Jimin deserves the truth. 

There is just always that voice in Jeongguk’s head that holds him back, because what if Jimin leaves him? What if he’s scared of him? What if he will never be able to hold or cuddle Jimin? What if he’ll never be able to see him ever again? Jeongguk would rather wear any costume of the world and celebrate Halloween each day than even think about a life without Jimin. He’s been wandering on this earth for so many years by now, always alone, always searching for the one, that person to love, but at the same time not looking for anyone, because not loving anyone also means never losing someone. But then Jimin crossed his way and Jeongguk suddenly knew why he felt lonely for so long, because he had been waiting for Jimin all those years.

“Thanks for always taking care of me,” Jimin smiles softly, warming Jeongguk’s heart.

“Always. I’d never let anything or anyone hurt you.” Including me. I’d never hurt you, Jeongguk thinks. He’s been waiting for Jimin for years, so he’s doing his very best to make their shared time together as beautiful as possible. One day their time will run out, Jeongguk knows that. One day, Jimin will notice that Jeongguk doesn’t age the way he does, and one day Jeongguk will have to leave him. It’s going to be the worst day of his life, hurting the one person he always promised to protect. Jeongguk just wants to make sure Jimin still has nice memories of their shared time, even though it’s egoistic. It’s not fair that Jeongguk knows their time is limited, while Jimin thinks they will last forever.

Maybe it’s about time that he tells Jimin who he really is, so Jimin can decide if Jeongguk is worth his limited time on earth. Maybe it’s just fair to let him decide on his own instead of deciding something like that for him. Maybe Jeongguk lived in this dream for eight long years, not even caring about how it would make Jimin feel if he ever finds out. What if he finds out by himself one day? What if not? Would Jeongguk ever be strong enough to end things with Jimin when he loves him so much he himself can’t comprehend it sometimes? Could Jeongguk look into Jimin’s sad and angry eyes when Jimin tells him to fuck off and never talk to him again? He knows, one day, he has to. But each day Jeongguk tells himself just one more day, just another week, one more year. And with each passing second he falls more and more in love with Jimin and it gets even harder to let go.

“Can we cuddle on the couch?” Jimin asks shyly, and Jeongguk only grins at him, not even answering before he swoops Jimin off the chair and carries him over to the couch. They fall in between the soft blankets they always leave there, and Jeongguk lets Jimin cuddle against his chest before he pulls Jimin’s favorite blanket over them. He wraps one arm around Jimin and holds him close, knowing that Jimin loves to listen to his heartbeat. If he only knew that he seeks comfort in the arms of a predator. At the same time Jeongguk finds a reason to live in the eyes of someone who is supposed to be nothing but prey.

Minutes pass in comfortable silence before Jeongguk is the one to speak up first. “What if we pick each other’s costumes this year? We don’t have to go as a couple this time, we can just pick something that we think would suit the other,” he suggests, and Jimin starts moving around on his chest before their eyes find each other.

“Wait, that would mean you’ll pick something for me?” 

“Uhm, yeah? I guess,” Jeongguk says shyly. He doesn’t even know where his sudden idea comes from, but maybe his ulterior move is just to… see Jimin like that. See him as someone he never will be, someone Jeongguk would never turn him into, but it’s just one night, right? Just a joke on Halloween, just a costume, and Jimin would never know. Right?

“I’d love that, actually,” Jimin beams, “Without any theme? Just anything we think would suit each other?”

“Yeah, sure. It can be anything, even something stupid,” Jeongguk jokes, trying to cover his own nervousness, and luckily Jimin starts laughing out loud. It’s Jeongguk’s favorite sound in the world, and he can’t get enough of it. The world before and the world after Jimin will be lonely, quiet, and dark.

“Okay, I already have the perfect idea for you!” Jimin says excitedly, smirking at Jeongguk with a fierce expression on his eyes that has Jeongguk groaning out loud.

“You’re a demon. I already know it’s going to be something stupid, am I right?” Jimin doesn’t answer him, he only grins at him one more time before placing his head on his chest again, quietly. “I swear, it’s your chance to dress me extremely hot, you know? It doesn’t have to be funny, it was just an example!” Jeongguk tries, already fearing whatever Jimin is going to pick for him. How the hell does he even let himself be humiliated like that by a 29-year-old human? But that’s exactly the thing – Jeongguk could kill Jimin with a snap of his finger, even though Jimin doesn’t know, but he never would. Jeongguk would rather see the world burn than hurt Jimin just a single time. For Jimin, Jeongguk is just Jeongguk. He’s a 28-year-old media designer, who loves fast food, and drawing until late at night. With Jimin, Jeongguk can be the person he is deep down, the person he already was before he got turned. Because in the end Jeongguk is still who he was before, and he loves that Jimin sees and loves him for that, instead of being afraid of him for who nature turned him into.

Yet. He’s not afraid of him, yet.

“You’re going to look amazing,” Jimin whispers, still a sassy tone in his voice, but Jeongguk doesn’t fight it any longer. Jimin will have a blast picking whatever costume for him, and that’s alright. 

“You, too,” he remarks, because he just knows Jimin will look ethereal in what Jeongguk already has in mind for him. A little dream, a dark thought buried deep down in Jeongguk’s mind, too egoistic to simply think about it – but for one night, Jimin will bring it all to life.

☽

Halloween isn’t until another two weeks, but the whole apartment is already lit in beautiful colors and probably every possible decoration one has ever seen.

There are various pumpkins in every size in every one of their rooms, some with faces that Jimin carved into them, other’s just in funny shapes decorating the kitchen table. Their plates are exchanged with the ones that have tiny witches on it and their towels have black cats printed all over them. Even their regular cookie jar is exchanged with one that looks like a black cat with a wide open mouth and sharp teeth. It’s nearly as if they are living in a Halloween store, but Jeongguk loves each detail and all the work Jimin puts into all of this every year. Jeongguk always tries to help as much as he can, but he’s mostly just in the way, so he leaves the apartment for a while, telling Jimin he’s going for a walk so he has enough space to work.

When he’s back, Jimin is already done and the smell of freshly made cookies reaches Jeongguk’s nose. He just satisfied his primal needs, so the craving for fresh cookies might seem a bit absurd, but what can he do? He’s a sucker for Jimin’s Halloween themed cookies, so he throws his jacket and scarf in the hallway and rushes into the kitchen, Jimin already holding a little ghost cookie towards him.

With his eyebrows furrowed, Jeongguk chews on the cookie while Jimin looks at him expectantly. “Your face already tells enough,” Jimin giggles, putting the rest of his fresh cookies into the jar he prepared.

“They are so good,” Jeongguk mumbles, already reaching for another one. He’s lucky enough to snatch another cat shaped one before Jimin slaps his hand away and puts the filled cookie jar on their kitchen table and out of Jeongguk’s reach for now.

“Hey, these should last a bit longer than two hours, so please!” Jimin laughs. He knows exactly that Jeongguk would devour the whole jar within seconds if he let him alone with it, so he’s already taking some security measures. “Here, take a nectarine. They are healthier anyway.” With a pout, Jeongguk takes the nectarine in his hand and takes a quick bite, because okay, he loves nectarines and the way they taste so sweet on the tip of his tongue, but that’s nothing compared to bl– Jimin’s selfmade cookies.

“Did you already pick a costume?” Jeongguk asks curiously, trying to get any information out of Jimin so he knows what he has to prepare for.

“It already arrived, actually. Seems like someone really can’t wait, huh?” Jimin grins, biting his bottom lip and Jeongguk sighs at the sight. Jimin knows exactly what kind of tease he is, not sparing Jeongguk a single second of the day. The things Jeongguk would give to bite down on that lip, too. 

Jeongguk really trusts himself and his ability to hold back, the thirst of blood easy to control after so many years of training. Yet, he still knows that he shouldn’t test his luck too much. There isn’t a problem with Jimin cutting his finger or when he fell during their trip in the mountains and scratched his knee open. Jeongguk can deal with all those things, even though the smell of Jimin’s sweet blood tries to lure him in. He just doesn’t know how much he can hold himself back when they are making out or sleeping with each other. Jeongguk only has so much willpower and while he’s aroused and barely manages to control himself due to the intoxicating feeling of sleeping with Jimin, he isn’t sure if he could also control his bloodthirst if he ever bites down on Jimin’s lip and he actually draws blood and gets to taste it on his tongue for the first time.

Not that Jeongguk never dreamed of it, hell – Jeongguk thinks about biting each and every inch of Jimin’s unmarked skin, tasting his blood, and seeing his fair skin painted in dark red, but that’s something he’s keeping in the back of his mind, leaving it for the days when Jimin is away for the week due to work and he wants to get off quick and dirty. Then Jimin’s face and red is all he sees.

“Yeah, I can’t wait for you to make a fool out of me,” he groans, and Jimin only winks at him before waddling past him and settling on the couch with another book. Jeongguk follows him and just sits on the other end of the couch, watching Jimin with his huge glasses opening the book to continue the story where he left off yesterday’s evening. It’s one of Jeongguk’s favorite things to do – to watch Jimin. Jeongguk used to be alone for so many years, only watching people from afar, never interacting too much with them. He kept his distance, just to be sure, until he got more confident about his limits and tried spending his time doing different things, better than just hiding in the forest. He started a half-time job to see how he can handle the company of humans, not only because he wanted to handle the bloodthirst, but also because of his traumatic experiences in the past.

Time passed by and Jeongguk adjusted himself, found a way to feed on little animals or sometimes deers deep in the woods during midnight or sometimes even his lunch breaks, getting better and better and controlling his thirst when sated by fresh blood even if it was just from an animal. It was hell for years, controlling the hunger and nearly dying when refusing to drink from a human. It is still hard until today, but Jeongguk made the decision to never be what people thought he was. He would never hurt a human ever again.

Many years have passed, Jeongguk isn’t sure how many. Maybe 20, 30? Jeongguk learned how to deal with his primal need and got used to having people around, slowly becoming a part of the world instead of just existing in it. It must have been around 1966 that he decided to move to another city and go to college for the first time. He made friends, he studied modern art, and when he finished college, he moved on to another city and started university all over again. Jeongguk studied many things, always so interested in learning many different things, but he never found anything he studied or anyone he got to know as interesting as he found Jimin.

Sometimes, Jeongguk wishes he could meet Jimin again for the first time, just so he can experience the feeling one more time. It’s something Jeongguk never felt before, like someone stabbed him right in the heart the second he laid his eyes on Jimin. When he heard Jimin’s laugh for the first time, it was like hearing bells ringing in heaven. A place Jeongguk would never be able to go to, but instead, Jimin was able to bring Jeongguk to his own personal heaven.

“Isn’t it boring to just sit there all the time? Do you want me to recommend a book to you so you can read something, too?” Jimin asks suddenly, nearly making Jeongguk jump. Jimin is looking over the edge of his book, his black framed glasses highlighting his beautiful eyes even more. Jeongguk gets lost in the peaceful and warm vibe that Jimin gives off for another second.

“No, I just like being close to you. It’s not boring for me,” Jeongguk whispers, watching Jimin’s lips turn into another smile. Jeongguk watched so many people, visited so many lectures and classes, read so many books – he soon got sick of it, but he’d never grow sick of looking at Jimin. Even in another hundred years he’s still going to look at pictures of Jimin for hours. “And your job is so stressful, I’m just happy when you can get some rest.”

“You’re always so kind to me, Jeongguk,” Jimin sighs softly, looking at Jeongguk with loving eyes. Jeongguk hates that he might be forced to let go of him soon, because when the truth is out there, Jimin won’t ever look at him like that again.

“I’m not. I could do so much more, but I’m trying.”

“You’re doing enough, trust me. There is not a single thing I’m missing in my life,” Jimin reassures him, and Jeongguk only nods, because he trusts Jimin’s words. Jimin would never lie to him, unlike Jeongguk, who has been hiding such a huge thing from him for years now.

“I love you, do you know that?” Jeongguk whispers, his voice nearly breaking at the end. Jimin seems to notice and his loving gaze turns into something more concerning. Quickly, he puts his book to the side and pushes the blanket away, crawling his way over to Jeongguk until he’s settled on his lap. Jimin wraps his arms around Jeongguk’s neck, looking at him with sad eyes.

“I love you, too. Why are you so sad, hm? Did something happen?” Jimin asks, with worry swinging in each one of his words.

“No, nothing happened,” Jeongguk says under his breath, wrapping his arms around Jimin’s middle and pressing his head against his chest, listening to his calming heartbeat. They hold each other like that for what feels like an eternity, and Jeongguk let’s Jimin’s warmth fill his whole body. Jimin gently caresses his hair in a way he knows calms Jeongguk down, and it makes Jeongguk feel sleepy even though it’s just around afternoon.

“Come, lay down with me,” Jimin suggests, and they move around on the couch until Jimin is on his back and Jeongguk is resting in the space between him and the back of the couch, his body pressed to Jimin’s. Jimin immediately goes back to gently brushing through his hair until Jeongguk’s eyes feel heavier and heavier each second, slowly sinking into a deep sleep in which he dreams of a life after his life. A life in which he can be with Jimin each second of eternity, but that’s something that’s not meant for him – for them. Because Jeongguk would never do to Jimin what others did to him back then. He would never turn him just so he can spend eternity with him.

☽

“When will he finally ask you to marry him?” Taehyung sighs dramatically, while stirring his Cappuccino, looking at Jimin as if he could give him an answer at all. They met up at their favorite coffee shop, now sitting in their regular booth to spend some time together.

“You know I don’t care about marriage. I still love him the same way,” Jimin says, already starting to feel protective over his boyfriend even though he doesn’t even have to. Taehyung is just impatiently waiting for his own boyfriend to finally propose to him, so he’s letting his anger out while accusing Jeongguk of being too slow to his proposal.

“Would a beautiful ring on your finger make you love him less? No. See my point?” Taehyung states, pointing his spoon towards Jimin. “Maybe you should propose.”

“God, stop it, or I’ll call Yoongi right away and beg him to finally propose to you. You’re annoying everyone around you just because you are planning your dream wedding ever since you’ve been able to use a pair of scissors.” Jimin takes a sip of his own coffee, ignoring the offended gasp that Taehyung just let out.

“Don’t be so mean.”

“Don’t be such a bitch, then. It’s my birthday after all,” Jimin reminds his best friend, and immediately Taehyung’s posture changes and he whispers a faint sorry. “I know you want to marry him so badly, and your time will come. It will be beautiful, trust me.” Gently, Jimin puts his hands on top of Taehyung’s, trying to light up the mood.

“You’re right, I’m sorry. I just… ugh. I just want a huge wedding. I want him to cry when he sees me, and I want my parents to suffer from a heart attack when they receive the invitation card,” Taehyung huffs with a raised eyebrow. “And of course because I want to be with him until we’re both old and wrinkly.”

“I’d love to see that. Maybe we can still go on double dates then,” Jimin snickers, thinking back to the many dates the two couples have already gone to. It was so great to see Jeongguk fitting into Jimin’s group of friends so well, now Jimin gets to have every one of his dearest people around him at all times. It just makes him wonder sometimes why he never got to know any of Jeongguk’s friends. Maybe they live too far away, or maybe things broke apart when Jeongguk moved away. He only meets one of his colleagues from time to time, but that would also be someone Jimin never met before. It’s not like it bothers him, since they still spend the majority of their time with Jimin’s friends, but it does make him wonder sometimes.

“Sorry, we would only go on double dates with married couples,” Taehyung jokes, making Jimin snicker. “Just kidding, then I wouldn’t go on any dates either, damn it.”

“You’re a dork,” Jimin laughs, covering his bright smile with his hand. “We should definitely go on a date again, soon. But now your Halloween party is coming up anyway, so maybe some weeks afterwards?”

“Sure, we could go to that fancy restaurant again. Jeongguk grilled the meat perfectly, he should do it again,” Taehyung laughs, making Jimin gently nudge against his hand.

“Stop using my boyfriend for your pleasure!”

“That sounds so wrong, but you know… if you’d let me…”

“Taehyung!” Jimin whisper-yells shocked, slapping his friend’s hand.

“I’m just saying! Maybe the four of us should… you know. To keep things exciting!”

“Oh my God, you’re too much. Jeongguk’s and my sex life is very much exciting, even after all those years, thank you very much,” Jimin immediately says, trying to hide the blush on his face. He isn’t one to become shy about such things, but he’s also not about sharing whenever he and Jeongguk had sex. He tells Taehyung about some things they tried out or things they weren’t so fond of. Or that one time, when Taehyung told Jimin about his experience with blood play and Jimin telling him only a week later that Jeongguk had never been against something so much in his life. He still never thought about the four of them in one bed, or even worse, his best friend with his boyfriend. That’s probably the one thing that Jimin is pretty much against, no matter how much he loves Taehyung.

“I mean, I see Jeongguk’s gaze each time during our Halloween parties,” Taehyung wiggles his eyebrows, “the man is already undressing you with his eyes the second you step a foot into my living room. Even when you wore that super ugly bunny costume.”

“Excuse me, it was not ugly? It was super hot,” Jimin huffs offended, immediately recalling the way Jeongguk indeed wasn’t able to take his eyes off him.

“It was even worse that you made Jeongguk wear a carrot costume. Please, you’re a menace,” Taehyung snorts, and Jimin breaks out laughing again.

“Come on, you made the party theme ‘animals’, what did you expect us to wear?”

“Maybe tiger and lion? Prey and predator? But not bunny and carrot, for fucks sake!” They both break out laughing, not caring about the whole café probably hearing them. They keep chatting about other memories from Taehyung’s famous Halloween parties, mostly about them doing something pretty embarrassing, but it brings back many memories that Jimin never wants to forget. Mostly, he spends all of these special moments with Jeongguk by his side, and that makes it even better.

“This year I really had no idea what to do. I nearly broke down crying in front of Pinterest,” Jimin admits, “but then Jeongguk suggested picking something for each other, and I said yes.”

“Wow, you’re not planning your costumes this year? Damn, you must love him a lot to give him so much power over something so important,” Taehyung states, but Jimin only smiles cheekily at him. “Oh no, what did you plan for him?”

“Nothing bad, I promise. I just think it would be funny to see him like that,” Jimin giggles while pulling out his phone and showing Taehyung the banana costume he just ordered for Jeongguk. It’s really ugly and looks as cheap as it was, but Jimin couldn’t hold himself back. Jeongguk mostly seems pretty intimidating, even though Jimin knows his soft side, but there is something about his whole aura that gives off a darker vibe. So it’s one of Jimin’s favorite memories when one day Jeongguk came home after a long day, rummaging through the whole fridge until he came padding into the living room with a pout on his face, and Jimin nearly lost it all when Jeongguk asked why there was no banana milk in the fridge.

Until this day, Jimin likes to tease Jeongguk with the story, and since he couldn’t find one of a banana milk box, he thought he’d go with the banana instead.

“You’re seriously the worst. You know you could make him dress as a walking wet dream, anything you want, and you make him wear this? I can’t believe you.”

“Jeongguk said the same, but you two forget one important thing – he’s hot for me in any costume,” Jimin snickers while putting his phone away again, pretty satisfied with his idea. “I’d still fuck him in a banana costume.”

“You’re in too deep. Do you have any idea what he got for you? In the end it was his idea, maybe he has a reason for it,” Taehyung asks and only now Jimin thinks about it. He only thought Jeongguk brought the idea up to help Jimin stress a little less about the whole costume thing, but he never considered that Jeongguk might have something in mind already.

“Oh God, what if he buys me a penis costume? I’d be so embarrassed,” Jimin whines, the realization of what Jeongguk might do to him sinking in just now. “I’ll break up with him if he buys me a costume like that. Hey, stop laughing!”

Taehyung is nearly under the table due to how hard he’s laughing at the idea, promising Jimin that he will never forget this Halloween if Jeongguk actually gets him something like that. “It would only be payback for all those years he had to keep up with your bullshit!”

“Shut up!” Jimin groans, trying to get the ugly idea of a penis costume (or something even worse) out of his head. He’ll seriously kick Jeongguk in the face if he gets him something like that.

They spend the rest of the day in the city, strolling around and checking out some new stores that just opened. Jimin wants some inspiration for his new work and before they realize it’s already late in the evening. Jimin checks his phone just to notice he’s already late for his date night with Jeongguk, and he quickly waves Taehyung goodbye before rushing towards his car and driving back home as fast as he can (without violating the law.)

Jeongguk is already waiting on the couch when Jimin storms through the door, kicking his shoes to the side, leaving his jacket and scarf somewhere along his way to the couch, until he falls into Jeongguk’s arms.

“I’m sorry! We went to this new area that just opened. I got so lost in the new architecture and had to check everything out without checking the clock!” Jimin apologizes while Jeongguk places a soft kiss on his head, a rumble going through his chest when he laughs.

“It’s alright,” Jeongguk remarks when Jimin lets go of him and they sit next to each other, “I just don’t like that you’re thinking about work while you’re off and it’s your birthday.”

“I’m sorry, I got carried away,” Jimin apologizes again, but Jeongguk smiles at him so softly, it makes Jimin’s heavy heart feel way lighter.

“Now you’re here. That’s all I need.” Jeongguk gets up and walks into the kitchen, when he returns he has a plate and a bottle of wine in his hands. With huge eyes Jimin looks at him and the smell of pumpkin cannelloni reaches his nose. It’s Jimin’s favorite food but he didn’t get to make it so far, and even though Jeongguk admitted pretty early in their relationship that he isn’t the best cook, he’s always trying new things and surprises Jimin all over again.

“Oh my God, you made that? It smells heavenly,” Jimin gasps, looking back and forth between the food and Jeongguk. He quickly leans in and presses a soft peck on Jeongguk’s lips before he reaches for his fork and takes the first bite of the still hot food. Jimin didn’t even realize how hungry he actually was until now.

“Well, Happy Birthday, my dear,” Jeongguk says from his side, pressing another kiss on Jimin’s cheek while he’s chewing on his food. Jimin never really cared much about his birthday, he doesn’t really see the purpose in celebrating it (Taehyung hates him ever since he forced him to stop planning surprise parties for him) but spending the day with Taehyung and now the evening with Jeongguk, having selfmade food, and some wine seems just about right.

“This tastes so good. You’re the absolute best,” is all Jimin can say before shoving another piece of food into his mouth. Is there any better way to celebrate his birthday? He can’t think of one. While Jimin eats, they talk about their days and Jeongguk tells him that he only worked from home and got so caught up in his new design that he completely forgot time as well and had to cook the meal in a rush, so it was actually a blessing that Jimin came home later than expected. On the other hand, Jimin tells Jeongguk about Taehyung’s wild idea of sharing their lovers. Jimin has to convince Jeongguk for at least ten long minutes that he’d never give him to Taehyung, not even for money.

“Unless he’s giving you ten million dollars. Then I’d think about it,” Jeongguk says out of nowhere, and Jimin nearly chokes on his food. “I mean, think about all the things we could do with that money. You could finally start your own company.”

“You’d fuck my best friend so I can start my own company? That must be the most romantic, yet stupid thing I’ve ever heard,” Jimin laughs out loud, covering his mouth while laughing at Jeongguk being absolutely adorable. They talked about Jimin’s dream so many times already, Jeongguk always offered his money for Jimin to take, but Jimin always cut him off right away. He doesn’t want Jeongguk to use his hard earned money for his company, not even knowing if he’d ever be successful as an architect all on his own. Jeongguk always told him that he doesn’t need the money and he’d see it as some kind of investment, but Jimin always turned him down. He can’t believe that Jeongguk brings it up again just for the sake of Jimin being able to start his own thing.

“I’d rob a bank for you to be fair, so fucking your best friend seems like the less dangerous way,” Jeongguk shruggs, making Jimin speechless with how easily he says those words.

“If you fuck Taehyung I promise you, facing me again would be the most dangerous thing ever,” Jimin says, his voice dropping a few tones, and Jeongguk looks at him, nearly challenging.

“Is that so?”

“You better not find out,” Jimin hisses. He knows they are just joking around, but the thought alone of Jeongguk cheating on him feels worse than he ever expected to.

“Imagine,” Jeongguk starts, his intense gaze staring at Jimin. His eyes seem darker than before, a hint of red suddenly flickering over them. Jimin thinks it must be because of the Halloween decoration. Slowly, Jeongguk comes closer over the couch, nearly like a predator approaching his prey, and Jimin feels like all the air is suddenly vanishing from his lungs. “You being the dangerous one of us two.”

Jeongguk’s voice is nothing but a whisper and his hot breath collides with Jimin’s lips by how close he suddenly is. Everything around Jimin starts to blur, he feels too hot in his hoodie, and Jeongguk’s intense gaze burns like fire. Carefully, like testing the waters, Jimin reaches forward and tries to nip on Jeongguk’s bottom lip, but Jeongguk slightly pulls back with an amused smile.

He keeps looking at Jimin for another while, Jimin nearly whimpering for Jeongguk to do something.

“Hm, so you’re done eating, huh? Guess now it’s my turn,” Jeongguk says darkly, setting Jimin’s whole skin on fire. Within the blink of an eye, Jeongguk crashes his lips against Jimin’s forcing him on his back by how fiercely he kisses him. Jimin’s hands reach out and grab Jeongguk by his cheeks, holding him as close as possible while he kisses him back. Their lips move against each other quickly, their teeth are clicking against each other here and there, but it doesn’t stop either of them. 

Before Jimin even realizes, Jeongguk pulls his shirt off, the air hitting his naked skin. His hands roam over the soft skin until he reaches the button of Jimin’s black jeans, unbuttoning it with skilled fingers. Quickly, Jimin’s jeans and boxer shorts join his shirt on the floor, leaving him on full display for Jeongguk who is still fully dressed. Jeongguk doesn’t waste another second before he leans down again, pressing their lips together in a heated kiss. Jimin feels like he is on cloud seven when Jeongguk kisses him like that while his right hand gently caresses his side up and down, making goosebumps rise on his skin.

It’s been a bit of an up and down when they started dating. Jeongguk wasn’t the one to initiate any physical contact at all, which was fine for Jimin, because he thought he was maybe too shy about it. In the end sex was something very intimate, but he also wasn’t too sure how to approach the topic properly, so one night Jimin decided to be the one to just make the first step. He left university early and showed up at Jeongguk’s door with some snacks and suggested a movie he had found on Netflix. Nothing wrong with some Netflix and chill, right? They already knew each other for a few months, but just started dating at that time, not even officially a couple yet, because they wanted to try and see how it works out before they made any announcements.

Jimin didn’t care about the movie at all, he just kept looking at Jeongguk next to him from time to time, trying to figure out how to approach him or the topic at all. Bluntly saying “Would you like to, uhm, fuck?” probably wasn’t the subtle way, but Jimin was as surprised about his own words as Jeongguk. Luckily, Jeongguk didn’t feel weirded out or anything close to that, actually, he started laughing and Jimin joined in, making the situation way less awkward.

They had a chat about their first time together and Jimin asked if Jeongguk never felt any attraction towards him, which Jeongguk only commented with a huff, asking Jimin if he had ever seen himself in the mirror. From then on, they were able to share openly what they like and dislike, slowly adjusting to each other with each time they had sex. Now it’s eight years later and hell does Jeongguk know how to push Jimin’s buttons. It’s not like Jimin had a lot of experience with the few other people he slept with before (he’s dating Jeongguk since he’s 21, sue him), but he’s been experiencing it all together with Jeongguk over the years.

Jeongguk kisses his lips another few times before he works his way downwards over Jimin’s chin and down his throat to his chest. Jimin once talked about Jeongguk avoiding his neck most of the time, just wanting to know if there’s any red flag or if he’s also not allowed to come near Jeongguk’s neck, but Jeongguk couldn’t give him an answer. Jimin just smiled at him and told him it’s okay, ever since craving Jeongguk’s lips on his neck, wanting to feel him biting down there, but still feeling sated with him leaving traces over his shoulder and inner thighs instead.

“Bedroom, please,” Jimin groans, his hot skin feeling sensitive against Jeongguk’s hoodie and sweatpants. He needs to get him naked as quickly as possible, too, but their spacious bed is way more comfortable.

With ease, Jeongguk lifts Jimin from the couch and carries him out of the living room, his hands grabbing Jimin’s naked ass a little too tight for it to be normal. “Someone’s already greedy, huh?” Jimin snickers, raising an eyebrow at Jeongguk, but Jeongguk doesn’t answer him, instead, he only stretches his index finger out, coming dangerously close to Jimin’s rim. It makes Jimin squeal, the ghost of a touch right there already making him crave more.

“Who is the greedy one here?” Jeongguk snorts, and Jimin wants to slap that cheeky grin off his face, but instead he grabs Jeongguk by the hair and pulls him closer, crashing their lips against each other once again. They are making out even when Jeongguk drops them both onto the bed, hovering over Jimin. Jimin’s hands travel over Jeongguk’s shoulders all the way down to the waistband of his hoodie, impatiently shoving it upwards and touching Jeongguk’s stomach while kissing him fiercely. 

“Come on, take it off,” Jimin groans annoyed, wanting nothing more than to feel Jeongguk’s body against his. The hoodie and sweatpants surely don’t help. As always, Jeongguk likes to tease a little too much and puts his hands to the sides of Jimin’s head, holding his body up and looking down at him. He shamelessly lets his gaze wander from Jimin’s face all the way down his body, and Jimin knows better than to feel embarrassed, but he surely gets annoyed the more time passes. He knows two can play that game, and boy, do they both love to play it.

Without another word, Jimin reaches over his own body, his fingers gently tracing the lines that define his beautiful shape, until he reaches between his legs. He never breaks eye contact with Jeongguk while he wraps his hand around his cock and starts moving his hand. Jimin sees in Jeongguk’s eyes how much he’s debating with himself about what to do. Watch? Slap Jimin’s hand away? Tease him? 

Jimin can’t help himself and keeps moving his hand up and down, sensually biting down on his own lip before he releases it again. He can see Jeongguk’s eyes being hyper focused on exactly that movement of his lips, so Jimin repeats it, biting down again and he feels his lip even being a bit swollen when he lets go another time. 

“I–” Jeongguk starts, but he doesn’t finish his sentence this time. Suddenly his eyes move back and forth between Jimin’s lips and his neck, the glimpse of red flashing through his eyes once again. Jeongguk seems to shake, the veins on his arms even more visible due to the tension running through his whole body. He’s breathing heavily and sweat is building on his forehead as if he’s running a marathon. Jimin slowly realizes that there’s something wrong with the situation for Jeongguk, so he furrows his eyebrows in concern, putting both his hands on Jeongguk’s cheeks. The light is a little dim, but Jimin still notices the small veins that slowly appear underneath Jeongguk’s eyes. Confused, Jimin reaches out with his thumb, trying to make out where they come from, when Jeongguk suddenly lets out a trembling gasp, making Jimin’s eyes snap back up, looking into Jeongguk’s again.

“Hey, look at me, come on,” Jimin says, voice slightly shaking. Jeongguk’s eyes are still staring at Jimin’s neck, his chest moving heavily and Jimin has a hard time shaking him out of it. “Baby, hey,” Jimin tries again, his thumb gently caressing the soft skin on Jeongguk’s face. Jimin keeps talking to him, soft words whispered against his lips, a gentle kiss on his nose in between, and slowly Jeongguk’s tense body seems to ease up. It takes another while until Jeongguk blinks for the first time, finally snapping out of whatever had him held in his grasp.

Gasping, Jeongguk widens his eyes and finally he looks at Jimin instead of his neck, and his arms begin to tremble. Quickly, Jeongguk gets up from the bed and stumbles backwards until he stands across the room, his back pressed against their shared closet, chest still moving heavily. 

“Baby?” Jimin tries again, pulling a thin blanket over his body while watching Jeongguk from the bed.

“I– I’m so sorry,” Jeongguk stutters, slightly shaking his head. Only now Jimin realizes how exhausted Jeongguk actually looks. His hair is damp from sweating, there are dark circles underneath his eyes, and his cheeks suddenly seem more sunken in. He nearly looks like a scared deer that just escaped a hunter.

“It’s okay. Everything’s okay,” Jimin says, trying not to scare or stress Jeongguk even more. He has no idea what happened and if it actually has any connection with Jeongguk staring at his neck like that, but it doesn’t matter right now. At the moment, Jimin needs to calm his boyfriend down. They can talk about it another time. “Breathe, Jeongguk. Everything’s okay.”

It takes a few more minutes until Jeongguk seems to be able to start breathing normally again, his body slowly steadying itself. “A-Are you okay?” Jeongguk asks without even looking at Jimin, and Jimin is taken aback by the sudden question, but immediately nods.

“I am. Of course I am. But are you okay, baby?” Jimin is still sitting on the bed while Jeongguk is across the room, but he isn’t sure if he should approach him or not. So he is hesitant about moving just the slightest bit even though he wants to run over and pull him into his arms.

“You’re okay. He’s okay. Jimin is okay,” Jeongguk whispers, and Jimin feels like he’s talking more to himself than to him, so he gives Jeongguk another moment to finally calm down.

“Can you look at me?” Jimin then asks shyly, Jeongguk’s head still looking towards the door instead of Jimin and it makes him feel so small and useless, because he doesn’t know what to do or say for the first time during their relationship.

Jimin sees Jeongguk swallow heavily, and then he slowly turns his head, his eyes finding Jimin’s. There is nothing left of the dark gaze or red flash Jimin had seen before, instead, there are just brown doe eyes looking at him like a deer caught in the headlights. Without a word, Jimin reaches his hand out, gesturing to Jeongguk to come over back to him, but he still hesitates and stays where he is at.

“Did I do something wrong?” Jimin then asks, shame crawling over his body at the thought of doing something that could hurt or upset Jeongguk.

“No!” Jeongguk immediately shouts, an apologetic look following right after. “No, you did nothing wrong. I just… I fucked up. I… I didn’t… I was so caught up with work that I… I– I’m so sorry that I forgot to…” Jeongguk stumbles over every word that comes out of his mouth and Jimin has no idea what’s going on, trying to make sense of whatever  Jeongguk is saying.

“You did not fuck up, everything is okay. I’m okay, but I want to make sure you are okay too, so can you please come here? Or can I come over to you?” Jimin suggests, and he sees Jeongguk’s scared gaze flickering between the floor and the bed, probably trying to decide what he wants. What did he forget? What could possibly be shaking him up like that?

“Don’t come too close, please,” Jeongguk whimpers, and it’s the most heartbreaking sound Jimin has ever heard. 

“Okay, I won’t. Do you want me to do anything else? Can I get you something?” Jimin keeps trying, the urge to help his boyfriend bigger than ever. They never were in a situation like this before, so saying that Jimin feels overwhelmed would be an understatement.

“I– I need some fresh air. Don’t wait for me tonight.” Jeongguk’s words are nothing more than a broken whisper, making Jimin feel cold all over. And then Jeongguk is already out of the door, leaving Jimin behind, still naked with nothing but his blanket, a weird and unsettling feeling creeping up his spine.

☽

Jeongguk doesn’t know for how long he runs, or where exactly he’s running to, but when he finally stops, he finds himself in front of an old, huge mansion. Jeongguk hasn’t been here in years, but now he feels like he needs help. He’s never felt so helpless in his life, because fuck, he nearly lost control today.

He did lose control today.

If there is one thing Jeongguk swore to himself, it was that he would never, under no circumstances, hurt Jimin and today he nearly broke that promise.

Without thinking twice (or else he might change his mind again, but he doesn’t know where else to go), he knocks on the huge, wooden door. There is no sound heard in the forest, no wind in the leaves, no birds in the trees. Absolute silence, the way Seokj–

“Well, well. Look who comes crawling back home. Finally made up your mind?” the tall man says when opening the door, but Jeongguk only snarls at him. Without another word, Jeongguk pushes past him and into the entrance hall, straight towards the kitchen. He hears Seokjin’s steps following behind him, as well as his dark gaze watching every one of his movements. It’s been a long time, indeed. Jeongguk doesn’t visit often, he has his reasons, but right now he doesn’t know where else to go or what to do. He needs help. He needs a friend. Someone who can understand.

Rummaging through the refrigerator, Jeongguk shoves various blood bags to the side, looking for something specific.

“I’m not storing such things. You can be happy there are fresh blood bags in there. You know I prefer it from the–”

“Shut up. There must be something, please,” Jeongguk nearly begs while still searching through the refrigerator. “I’m starving, I’m–”

“Why didn’t you feed on your way here? I’m literally living in a forest. There were at least ten hikers around the area only a few minutes ago. I smelled them while I went out hun–”

“Nobody asked for your dumb ass opin– Okay, listen. Please, I’m–” Jeongguk tries, his whole mind in a chaos. He literally sees red right now and doesn’t trust himself. A state in which he didn’t find himself in for decades, and it scares him. It scares him to the bones, because he knows what he is capable of and he knows how easily one can lose their temper in a state like his, so he is really trying his best right now to not jump at Jin’s throat and fight him. Jeongguk knows he wouldn’t stand a chance against someone who is nearly twice as old as him, but that’s nothing he has any control over when he’s that hungry.

Just because he was so stupid and forgot to eat today.

“Drink from what’s in the fridge, don’t be such a pussy. It’s not like I killed someone for that blood. I got it from the hospital, for fucks sake,” Jin groans, while leaning against the doorframe and watching Jeongguk who is nearly breaking the handle of the fridge beause he’s clawing into it as hard as he can. “And I only manipulated one person to get it, if that makes it any easier for you.”

Every vein in Jeongguk’s body feels like it’s on fire, everything inside him is screaming at him to just feed, to finally give in to the need that comes with what he is. His head hurts and he feels his fangs cutting the inside of his lip, threatening to show themselves and bite the neck of the next thing that comes into his sight. Jeongguk fought against that obsession for so many years. He learned how to control himself, how and what to eat to keep the urgent need for blood at bay, to fight his nature and be a good person. He can’t believe that he made such a mistake after so long and finds himself in such a situation.

“Jesus Christ,” Jin suddenly says, and the steps of his heavy boots on the ground come closer quickly. Before he even realizes it, Jin snatches a blood bag from the fridge and rips the tip off, the smell of fresh human blood filling Jeongguk’s nose. Within the blink of an eye, Jin has Jeongguk pressed against the wall behind him, his underarm securing Jeongguk from his neck, and his other hand putting the blood bag against his lips.

“No!”

“Do you want to die, you fool? Drink it. One bag won’t kill you, fucking do-gooder,” Jin forces him, and Jeongguk can’t fight him. He’s not just younger, but also weaker due to the fact that he’s not drinking human blood, but Seokjin does. There is no chance in fighting him, so when the first drop of blood finds its way to Jeongguk’s lips, he loses any track of what’s right and wrong and fills his mouth with the sweet taste of human blood. Immediately, his body regains the missing energy and his senses spike, the urgent need for blood slowly ebbing away with each droplet he drinks.

Quickly, Jeongguk’s hands reach out for the bag and he squeezes it, trying to get every drop out of it until it’s empty. When he’s done, the empty bag falls from his hands and in the same way Jeongguk drops to his knees on the cold wooden floor, breathing heavily. Of course there is a significant difference between human blood and drinking blood from animals, and Jeongguk knows it. He feels it right now, and even though the taste is way better and makes him so much stronger and healthier, he can’t fight the disgusting feeling that comes with the sweet taste. Jeongguk was never, and will never be, someone who doesn’t care about the people around him. Not as a human and not as a vampire. Most of the members of his species are ruthless, careless, brutal. They feed wherever and whenever they want, picking victims like flowers from a field. 

When Jeongguk killed his first human after being freshly turned – it felt good, it felt right, and it was what the vampires around him told him to do. In his first vampire years, Jeongguk grew up with violent and feral vampires, his circle was teaching him how to kill and feed on humans and how to get rid of any evidence. How to wander around during daylight, how to track the trace of fresh blood, and how to use his new prenatural strength which was incomparable to what he was capable of doing as a human.

Jeongguk lived this life exactly how people in movies portray it these days. Until one day, when Jeongguk went out alone at night, and killed another human in a dark alley. That day left a mark on him that never ever faded, not even until this day. Because Jeongguk didn’t just kill anyone. That night, Jeongguk killed a human he once loved so dearly, and he was never able to forgive himself for that.

It was a hard and long way to be able to control himself, because the sweet taste of blood is like a siren call. It lures them in, it’s screaming their names with each pulsation coming from a human vein, the taste so addictive that it’s hard to stop once they start. But Jeongguk isn’t like that, he is stronger than that. His love for Jimin is stronger than his nature.

He used to be like that. He used to be the way Jin is. But even though they are so different, Jin understands him like nobody else and he is the one Jeongguk seeks out whenever he feels lost.

“See, way better, right?” Jin says with a huff, already reaching for another bag to hand it to Jeongguk, who is still kneeling on the ground, trying to catch his breath. He gives Jin a quick gesture with his hand to make him understand he doesn’t want another one, solely focusing on getting his thoughts back straight.

He already hates himself for coming here in the first place, but besides being an arrogant asshole, killer, and textbook vampire, Seokjin is a friend. Jeongguk was raised a ruthless killer, and Jin keeps calling him weak and broken, based on the way he lives, but he only means well. The world of vampires is ugly, because while vampires are an enemy to human species, vampires are also their own enemies. Jin always wanted Jeongguk to be able to protect himself against their own kind. By now, Jeongguk knows how to survive on his own, without hurting anyone.

“Don’t look at me like that, I swear,” Jin huffs, his arms crossed when Jeongguk slowly gets up and glares at him. With a swift movement of his hand, Jeongguk wipes the remaining blood from his lips, tasting the sweet flavor one last time. “You know what happens to a vampire that doesn’t feed on time. And looking at you, it’s been overdue. What the hell got into you? How did you even make it here without ripping anyones head off?”

“I’ve always been better at controlling myself than you,” Jeongguk chuckles dryly, now passing by Jin again to make his way to the living room where he sinks down on the couch, an exhausted groan leaving his lips.

“Sure, you just come into my house, drink my blood, and then make yourself at home on my couch without any explanation,” Jin snorts, sitting down on a huge armchair across the couch. He throws one leg over the other, his red eyes never leaving Jeongguk while he waits for the younger one to finally speak up.

“I– I forgot to eat. It’s been nearly 48 hours, but I was so caught up with work and spending time with Jimin, I just– I feel so stupid,” Jeongguk admits, avoiding Jin’s judging stare.

“And your first thought is to come here and rummage through my stock of blood?” The question hangs heavily in the air, making Jeongguk choke. He didn’t know where else to go. He’s not living with a vampire family anymore, he’s on his own. He wanted to be on his own and far away from death and blood. He wanted to be better, but once in a while, Jeongguk needs someone who understands him and what he’s going through. No human could ever understand.

“I nearly hurt… I– I nearly lost control and hurt Jimin,” Jeongguk says, voice filled with shame. Saying it out loud is even worse than thinking about it the whole way here. Now the words are out there, he can’t take them back and the realization hurts him even more. He nearly hurt Jimin. He nearly hurt Jimin.

There is a heavy silence in the air and Jeongguk doesn’t dare to look at Jin. He knows they don’t share the same ideals, morals, or anything else. They only share the lust for blood, but they even handle that in different ways. And still, Jin is the only person that knows about Jeongguk’s past and the things he went through, so he understands his pain. Jeongguk killed a loved person once, the fear of doing it again sits deep in his bones.

“Nearly? So he’s fine?” Jin asks, and Jeongguk nods immediately. He made sure that Jimin was alright before he left, because there is no way Jeongguk would ever return home to him if he wasn’t. He’d rather have Jin rip his head off than ever returning to Jimin and hurting him.

“He is fine. I didn’t do anything to him, but I felt it in my bones that I was about to do something. We were about to sleep with each other and he knows the rule with the neck and shit. It’s just to protect myself, because I don’t want to get myself into such a situation. Not when I’m vulnerable and driven by pleasure and can’t think straight,” Jeongguk sighs, kneading his hands anxiously, “but it was already too late. I felt the hunger taking over and then I saw his neck and I heard his blood rushing through his veins, and suddenly everything felt too hot and I wanted nothing more than to break the skin on his soft neck and watch it turn red, and I feel so–” Jeongguk is nearly out of breath by how he’s stumbling over his words, trying to explain what’s going on in his head like a fool.

One might never think a vampire would ever feel such a way, but here Jeongguk is. He could turn off his emotions. He could prevent himself from feeling anything, but Jeongguk wants to keep that human side of him and feel. He wants to feel happiness and sadness, but most of all he wants to feel the love that Jimin spreads over his whole body with each word and touch. Consequently, that also means feeling the regret and pain of his wrong doings.

“I’m asking again,” Jin says, his voice distant and collected as always, “Is he fine? Yes or no?”

“Yes.”

“Then you shouldn’t beat yourself up like that, that’s it.”

“That’s it? That’s not it,” Jeongguk groans. With another sigh he folds his hands in front of him and rests his lips against them, closing his eyes. Immediately, he sees Jimin’s confused face in front of him, his attempts to calm Jeongguk down, and the way Jeongguk was just looking down at him. That’s exactly what Jeongguk was doing – he looked down at him like he was nothing but a prey.

“It is. You lost control, okay. It sucks. But you didn’t lose control to a point where you actually hurt him, so you’re being too harsh on yourself.” Jin is still sitting on his armchair, monitoring Jeongguk like they are in some kind of therapy session, but the small smirk on his lips doesn’t go unnoticed.

“Don’t make fun of me, I beg you. I’m seriously afraid of… of myself. Of losing control again and maybe next time I won’t be able to flee before it’s too late, and you’re not taking me seriously,” Jeongguk says, too caught up in his own misery to understand Jin’s good intentions. He came here to ask for help and all he gets is a four-hundred-year old vampire giggling about his problems.

“I’m not making fun of you, but I don’t understand how one mistake makes you think so low of yourself, Jeongguk. Did you think I would’ve given you a human blood bag if I didn’t know you couldn’t handle it? I know you’re only feeding on animals, and I respect that. I know why you chose that way of living, but as you said, you always had the better self control between the two of us.” Jin’s words slowly put some kind of ease over Jeongguk’s tense body. “You’ve been together for what? Eight years now? And as far as I know Jimin is pretty much alive and you’ve been a good boy from what you told me about your life together.”

“What if it happens again?”

“Then you’ll be able to control yourself, keep your distance, make it right, and then go back to your loving boyfriend who has no idea he’s sharing a bed with a pretty fucking old man. Or you simply leave him and move on with your life. Easy,” Jin snorts. He reaches over to a small table to get a glass and fills it with some whiskey, emptying it in the blink of an eye before refilling it. “Damn, therapy is exhausting.”

“You’ve never been with a human, have you?”

“In a, like, relationship? Not based on drinking their blood and leaving their dead bodies behind? No. You know I’m not a fan of this whole commitment thing. Looking for love that lasts an eternity, which to be fair,  could be with another vampire, seems pretty lame to me.” Jeongguk huffs at his words, making Jin raise an eyebrow at him. “What? I know you’re the kind of person who is looking for love, but you won’t find it with a human. At least, not forever. They grow old and die, unlike us. Go find yourself a nice vampire.”

“It’s not even about what he is, but who he is. I love him for who he is and I just want to be with him, without the fear of hurting him,” Jeongguk says under his breath. “Sometimes I… I wish… It’s such a bad and disgusting thought, but sometimes I wish I could just…”

“Turn him? Make him immortal so he could be your little vampire boyfriend until the end of the world? So you don’t have to be afraid of hurting him anymore? Don’t have to control yourself anymore around him?” Jin finishes his sentence, bringing Jeongguk’s darkest secret to the bright daylight. Jeongguk nods, shame crawling up his spine.

“Then do it. I’m sure he’d be fine with it. From what you told me, he seems like a hopeless romantic, just like you. Maybe he wants to be with you forever,” Jin suggests, and Jeongguk jumps to his feet, anger burning in his veins.

“How can you even suggest that? After everything? You know I would never do that to anyone!” The memories come breaking through the wall that Jeongguk built so carefully in his head, storing them deep in the back of his mind. Jeongguk never asked to be turned, and he wishes he would’ve just died back then. Instead, he turned into a monster and it took a long fucking time to come to terms with it.

“Then why do you always come here and ask for help when my answers are that bad?” Jin is still calm, sipping on his drink, pissing Jeongguk off even more. He knows their relationship is like that – a weird push and pull, always a fine line between loving and ripping each other’s head off, and he knows he wasn’t the best friend either. He barely visits him to just hang out and chat or something, because that’s simply not what they do. He also never invites Jin to the city to hang out with him and Jimin, because he doesn’t want another vampire close to his boyfriend, and because he doesn’t want a constant reminder that he’s not a normal human. But Jin is an old friend, they’ve been through rough times, and Jin is and will always be a big part of Jeongguk’s past, so he always comes here when he’s seeking advice and shelter.

Jeongguk is just frustrated about himself and his situation. He knows everything could be so much easier if he was living like Jin, but he just can’t.

“Because… fuck, I don’t know. I’m just so confused, okay? He is always so good to me, he even asked me how he can help me today. Like, I was acting like a huge fool around him, he probably thinks I’m a fucking freak or on drugs or something. Yet he still tried to calm me down and help me. I wish I could tell him how to help me, if there’s even a way…” Jeongguk sits back down on the couch, pulling out his own hair and making prehistorical noises to emphasize his situation.

“Have you ever thought about telling him? Not turning him, not drinking his blood. Just telling him who and what you really are? Maybe things would be easier if he knew and he would learn how to react when things like that happen.”

“I thought about it so many times, you have no idea,” Jeongguk snorts woefully, “I tried to, so many times. I wanted to tell him after our first year together, before our vacation and after it. So many times I knocked on his door with the intention of telling him, but the second I looked at him, I just couldn’t. I can’t stand the thought of him leaving me.”

“So you rather wait until your time together runs out and leave him instead? I take back what I said before – you’re not strong. You’re actually a child,” Jin says with a low voice, disapproval in all his words. Jin was never a fan of hiding who they are, always proud of who he is and what he is capable of.

“I know. I’m taking the easy way out and it’s not fair. But is it fair that I’m in this situation? That I got turned without my consent? That I’m doomed to live instead of being able to die with him like a normal human being?”

“If you weren’t a vampire, you wouldn’t even be alive at the same time as him. Be thankful for what you have and who you are,” Jin now says angrily. “If you’re so sick of being a vampire, please, come over here, and I’ll happily rip your head off without a second thought. If you don’t want this life, if you rather die, then why are you still here?”

“Because of him. I’m just living for him, hyung. I don’t know if I can keep going after our time runs out,” Jeongguk whispers, and he hears Jin sucking in a low breath. They have talked about this so many times already, Jeongguk sharing with him how much he feels for Jimin and how connected he feels to him, but he never openly talked about the fear of losing him before. About the way that fear is eating him alive every night while Jimin is already long asleep, peacefully resting in Jeongguk’s arm. The vampire hates the world for denying them a normal life together.

“You’re really a shame for vampires. You could’ve been so great, but look at you, all soft and cheesy for a human,” the vampire laughs, making fun of Jeongguk not for the first time. “Normally, a stab to the heart or someone ripping our head off is the way to kill us, but for you, it is losing this human.”

“Is it egoistic to seek some happiness after so many years? I’m nearly two-hundred years old, do I not deserve some peace?”

“In my opinion, it’s not. But you’re making yourself feel like it is, so it doesn’t even matter what I say. All that counts is what is in your head and if you can live with the guilt that comes with it.” Jin is right, he can ask him a thousand questions and it wouldn’t change a thing about the way Jeongguk feels about all of this. Guilty, egoistic, like a coward. “Listen, Jeongguk. I know you and I know you’re not a bad person. You’ve never been like me, not a single time in all the hundred years we have known each other, so be honest with him. It’s the right thing to do.”

“What if he hates me?”

“Then there is nothing you can do about it. Do you not respect him? — Then respect his opinion if he doesn’t want you in his life anymore,” Jin says straight away, not a trace of uncertainty in his voice.

“I do respect him. I’d do anything for him to be happy, but…” when I’m not the reason for his happiness, it’s better to let go, Jeongguk thinks. “I’m sorry, hyung. For always crashing here and asking for your help, but never giving something back.”

“Isn’t that what hyung is here for, Jeongguk? To listen to you and tease you about it?” Jin laughs, and it makes Jeongguk’s heart feel a lot lighter. They aren’t a species to share many emotions, or feel them at all, so probably Jeongguk’s feelings are sometimes hard to understand for Jin, but he appreciates his effort every time. “You could visit a bit more often, though. When do I finally get to meet Jimin, huh?”

“Never. One vampire in his life is enough to deal with,” Jeongguk sighs, smiling at Jin who is sipping on his fourth drink by now.

“You’re not a real vampire. He should meet me and see what a real vampire is, you baby bat.”

“You’re an asshole. What do you want to show him? Your fangs in a person’s neck? Do you want to scare him for life?”

“That’s more fun than what you’re doing with him, though. You could have so much fun with him. Wait, did you ever manipulate him? Please tell me you did, it’s so fun. They are like little puppets,” Jin gasps excitedly, but Jeongguk only takes the nearest pillow and throws it towards Jin, but of course he misses him because Jin is way quicker than him. With a loud laugh, Jin suddenly stands in another corner of the room, the pillow landing on the empty armchair.

“I do have fun with him, without manipulating him. I don’t need to do that.”

“You’re so lame, Jeon Jeongguk. Live a little,” Jin smirks, raising his glass at Jeongguk.

“I’m dead, what do you expect me to do?”

“Life is way more fun since we’re dead, you just don’t appreciate it enough,” Jin smiles, and Jeongguk rolls his eyes in annoyance.

“I’ll be leaving now. I need to go home.” Jeongguk gets up from the couch and walks towards the door, leaving the mansion without another word or a goodbye from Jin. This time, he really makes an internal note to visit his friend more often in the future, even though he’s the most annoying vampire Jeongguk has ever met.

☽

It’s 3:21am.

The last time Jimin checked the clock it was 3:20, so he groans while snuggling deeper into his thick blanket. After Jeongguk left, Jimin sat in their bed for what felt like forever, before getting dressed in a set of Jeongguk’s sweatpants and hoodie, settling on the couch ever since. Now it’s nearly five hours later and Jimin is still sitting there, not moving an inch just in case Jeongguk might come home soon. However, the sleepiness is slowly taking over him and he feels his eyes fluttering shut from time to time, trying to keep himself awake with some serial killer documentaries on Netflix.

He texted Jeongguk at least twenty times, but never received an answer which makes him worried sick. Jeongguk never acted like that, so Jimin has no idea what to do or where they went wrong or how to find a solution for whatever even happened. In their eight years there were fights, bigger and smaller ones, fights in which they slammed doors shut or yelled at each other, or fights that were solved with an honest I’m sorry. Jimin isn’t sure if a simple “I’m sorry” can solve what happened today. It’s not that he is mad at Jeongguk, not even for leaving and getting some fresh air, but he needs to understand what happened earlier that night so they can work it out.

Jimin pulls his legs even closer, resting his head on top of his knees and closing his eyes shut just for a second. When Jimin wakes up again, it’s due to the sound of a key entering the door. Jimin’s eyes fly open, trying to catch anything in the darkness around him, only some small pumpkin lights illuminating their living room.

When Jeongguk finally comes walking into the room, their eyes meet immediately, but Jimin doesn’t know what to do. Jeongguk is standing in the middle of the room now while Jimin is still on the couch, wrapped in his cozy blanket, not knowing what to do.

“Don’t come too close, please.”

Jimin is afraid to say or do anything, scared that he might scare Jeongguk away again.

“Why are you still awake?” Jeongguk’s voice is soft, helping Jimin’s tense body to ease a little bit, luckily.

“I– I couldn’t sleep without you. I was worried, so I– I waited here for you,” Jimin answers honestly, his voice shaking because he can’t really judge the situation yet.

“I’m sorry for making you wait so long,” Jeongguk apologizes, slowly coming closer to the couch. When he’s in front of it, he crouches down so he can look at Jimin, the soft Halloween lights highlighting Jeongguk’s soft skin just right. “Will you come to bed with me tonight? Or do you want me to sleep on the couch?”

Before answering, Jimin gently punches Jeongguk’s shoulder and smiles, “Don’t you dare to leave me alone tonight.”

In the blink of an eye, Jimin is swooped up by Jeongguk and they make their way towards the bedroom where Jeongguk gently puts him on the mattress. Jimin cuddles into the blanket while he watches Jeongguk change into some boxer briefs and a shirt before joining him in bed. Jimin sees hesitation in each of Jeongguk’s movements, but this time it’s not for the same reason as before, more so for the fact that he’s afraid of Jimin’s reaction. So Jimin takes matters into his own hands and moves closer to his boyfriend, letting Jeongguk’s head rest on his chest while throwing a blanket over them. Jeongguk throws his arm around Jimin’s middle and Jimin kisses the top of his head, caressing his hair gently. Jeongguk smells like the forest, Jimin likes that.

“Sleep. We can talk tomorrow, okay?”

“Okay,” Jeongguk sighs, and Jimin feels his hand clawing into the fabric of Jimin’s shirt, holding him just a little closer. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay. We’ll figure it out. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

When Jeongguk wakes up, he feels Jimin’s hand caressing his hair, picking single strands of hair and wrapping it around his finger so gently. Jeongguk loves the feeling so much that he pretends to be asleep for a little longer, just relishing in the moment. It’s exactly what he’s been doing with Jimin all those years. He pretends just a little longer, just one more day, so he can enjoy it all before it’s over. 

“Do you not respect him? — Then respect his opinion if he doesn’t want you in his life anymore.”

Jeongguk does respect him, so he needs to be honest with him. He needs to make things right, and if the right thing for Jimin is to push Jeongguk away and leave him, then that’s what he deserves.

“Good morning, sleepy head,” Jimin mumbles, still playing with Jeongguk’s hair. Jeongguk lets out a tired sigh before moving his head a little, looking up at Jimin who is smiling at him so brightly as if nothing ever happened. Jimin really doesn’t know, but he makes Jeongguk feel intensely alive, positively normal, genuinely human.

“Morning,” Jeongguk answers, and Jimin places a loving kiss on his forehead. “I’m sorry again. For yesterday. I shouldn’t have left you like that.”

“Can you tell me what happened? Does it have to do with the rule we set up? About the neck?” Jimin’s voice is soft and it makes Jeongguk feel less anxious about the whole situation. He had no time to think about how to explain the situation to Jimin, because his mind is still a mess. What could he tell him to make him understand it’s not his fault without saying too much about his identity?

“Y-Yes,” Jeongguk starts, lowering his eyes to stare at the door across the room instead of Jimin’s face. “One day… something happened. It’s been years and I thought I was already over it, but apparently it all came crashing down on me yesterday.” It’s not a complete lie. The memories of said night came back and it reminded Jeongguk of how he was being pressed down like that as well, unable to move, unable to fight. Only laying there and waiting for whatever was about to happen to him, until a burning pain made him scream out loud, the pain was spreading from his neck throughout all of his body.

“Do you want to tell me what happened? You don’t have to, of course. It would just help me understand and avoid something like that ever happening again,” Jimin says, and his hand never stops brushing through his hair since he knows how much Jeongguk loves it and how it calms him down.

“I’ve been with someone before. Like, in a relationship,” Jeongguk whispers, not sure how Jimin might react. They have never talked about ex-lovers because Jimin simply didn’t have a relationship before Jeongguk and Jeongguk have only had one he has never wanted to talk about. “We were head over heels in love, he maybe even more than me. That night something was different about him, somehow. He was clingy and barely let go of me, and I thought it was just a mood, just for fun. We ended up in his bedroom and he pinned me down, and it turned so weird. Like he wasn’t himself anymore. I told him to stop, but he wasn’t listening. He ended up, uhm,” Jeongguk stutters, not really knowing how to say it out loud, “he ended up biting down on my neck until he drew blood.”

Silence fills the room and Jeongguk feels Jimin’s hand stop caressing his hair, which makes him swallow hard. “Biting your neck? Like a vampire?” Jimin then asks, making Jeongguk’s breath hitch.

“Y-Yeah, like that.” Jeongguk only talked about this night with Jin before, considering he prefers not thinking about the night he got turned all together. He was so in love with this man back then, not knowing that he was a vampire until said night. He pinned Jeongguk down to the bed and started talking about the way he wanted to taste his blood, wanted to spend eternity with him, make him his. Jeongguk didn’t understand until white, sharp fangs suddenly smiled at him.

Only then he started to realize what was about to happen. But it was already too late. Jeongguk was turned and forced to embrace eternity, even though he never asked for it. Just because someone was so deeply in love with him that he couldn’t handle the thought of living without him.

It’s exactly what Jeongguk is feeling right now. He can’t imagine a life without Jimin, the difference is just that he would never dare to turn him. He’d rather ask Jin to actually rip his head off.

“That sounds horrifying, I’m sorry that happened to you,” Jimin sighs. “And yesterday reminded you of that situation? I need you to know, you didn’t make me feel anything like that, if that’s what scares you.”

“You reminded me of myself back then. Pinned down, close to your neck. It all came crashing down and I was afraid of hurting you, even though I never would. You know that, right?” Jeongguk says brokenly, now looking up to find Jimin’s warm eyes. “I would never hurt you, Jimin.”

“I know you wouldn’t, I trust you with my life,” Jimin answers honestly, a faint smile on his lips. “You’re safe with me, too, okay? I’d never do anything you don’t want to. I’ll always stick to the rules we have set, so please don’t be afraid to talk to me about such things. I just wish I knew how to help you in a situation like that. I felt so helpless and scared. Not for me, but for you.” Jeongguk only stares into Jimin’s eyes for what feels like an eternity, taking in the color of his eyes and the warmth it makes him feel by simply looking at him.

“Coming home to you was everything I needed. I was scared you’d be mad at me, but you just waited there. I couldn’t ask for more. Thank you for that,” Jeongguk whispers, feeling his cheeks turn red. A melodic chuckle leaves Jimin’s lips, making Jeongguk’s heart flutter. It’s so thrilling for him; every emotion, everything that Jimin makes him feel with the slightest touch or the most simple word. It makes Jeongguk feel more alive than ever.

“It was about time you came home, I was so tired!” Jimin jokes, gently slapping Jeongguk’s shoulder. “But now you’re here and you’re okay. That’s all that matters.”

“What would I do without you?” Jeongguk asks, and even though it sounds like a random, cheesy question, it’s something that bothers Jeongguk deep down. It’s a question to which he actually has no answer. He doesn’t know what he’d do without Jimin in his life. 

☽

“Are you ready?”

Jeongguk swallows the lump in his throat, absolutely not ready. “Yes, come out.”

There’s a shuffling sound coming from the other side of the door, and Jeongguk feels each second that passes like a minute. He rests his sweaty hands on his thighs while sitting on the bed, staring a fucking hole in the door behind which Jimin stands.

He hears the door unlock (Jimin made extra sure that Jeongguk wouldn’t sneak in while he was dressing) and slowly the door swings open, revealing Jimin in all his glory. Jeongguk probably blacks out for a solid twenty seconds.

There Jimin stands, proudly wearing his costume. Jeongguk only sits on the bed, his eyes scanning Jimin up and down but sticking to his face pretty quick, taking in the sight of fake blood dripping from his lips and his fake canines peeking from behind his thick lips.

“What do you think?”

Jimin is talking to him. Jeongguk knows that. He can’t answer. He can only stare, watching Jimin play around with the long, black coat that’s covering his outfit. His upper body is dressed in a thin, white blouse with a deep V-neck, tucked into black slacks and a simple black belt with a silver belt buckle. His hair is parted in the middle, beautifully styled backwards, only a single strand falling over his face. He’s wearing red contact lenses and a silver necklace is the perfect finish for the whole costume. All of the things Jimin is wearing are Jeongguk’s – pieces he once wore himself when he and his vampire squad were living the traditional way of vampires. It didn’t only come with drinking from humans, but also with dressing classy. Seeing Jimin in these clothes feels like a stab to the heart, but in a good way. Maybe a little too good.

“Cat got your tongue, baby?” Jimin giggles, pulling Jeongguk back into reality. Jeongguk blinks a few times and shakes himself out of his memories. Jimin is already standing in front of him, now boldly sitting down on Jeongguk’s lap and wrapping his arms around him. Up close, Jeongguk can see the sharp fake teeth Jimin is wearing because he’s being a shameless tease and biting down on his own lip. Jeongguk would lie if he said it didn’t already make him feel some kind of way.

“I hate myself. You look too hot,” Jeongguk finally manages to say, earning another giggle from Jimin. “I mean it, you’re not going out looking like that. Everyone will try to hit on you.” Now that makes Jimin laugh so hard he throws his head back, revealing his neck and his sharp teeth at the same time like that. Jeongguk nearly drops dead.

“I thought I could count on my strong boyfriend to protect me?” he responds teasingly, their eyes meeting in a loving, yet challenging gaze. 

“I’d protect you, yeah,” Jeongguk responds, but he doesn’t want to waste another second with talking, so he sneaks his hand in Jimin’s neck and pulls him closer, connecting their lips in a heated kiss. Their teeth clank against each other and Jeongguk has to hold himself back from actually biting down on Jimin’s puffy lips. Jimin wraps his arms closer around Jeongguk, pulling him as close as possible, and Jeongguk swears he sees stars in that exact moment.

“Let’s just stay home,” Jeongguk groans in between kisses when Jimin starts circling his hips in his lap, riling him up. “I’ll take care of you. Fuck the party.” Jeongguk doesn’t even care how breathless he sounds, or that he’s nearly begging. His mind is full of Jimin. Jimin dressed as a hundred year old vampire, Jimin with his sharp teeth, Jimin being everything Jeongguk ever dreamed of. Jeongguk wants him for as long as he can and he doesn’t want to waste a single second on this stupid party.

“Be a good boyfriend, accompany me to the party, and after we leave I’m all yours,” Jimin whispers in between their kisses, making Jeongguk sigh in frustration. “I’ll let you do anything to me tonight if you’re good now,” Jimin adds, and Jeongguk’s breath hitches. Frantically, he nods, but immediately captures Jimin’s lips into another kiss, gently biting down on his lip this time. 

“That’s a horrible deal, you know?” Jeongguk groans when Jimin finally leans back so Jeongguk can’t reach him for another kiss. It makes Jeongguk pout. “You’re a demon.”

“If you only told me that you’re into some kind of vampire stuff, I would’ve worn this outfit earlier,” Jimin teases, looking down on himself. “Where did you even get this from? Every piece is so pretty and the fabric feels amazing.” Jeongguk follows Jimn’s gaze, traveling down his body until where their bodies are connected in Jeongguk’s lap. The white blouse reveals just the right amount of Jimin’s chest and due to their make out session it slipped a little bit to the side, subtly highlighting his left collarbone and making everything in Jeongguk’s body itch to kiss and lick over it. But he’ll be good. He can be good until they return home.

“Surely not from the same cheap online shop from which you got my costume,” Jeongguk snorts, and Jimin gently slaps his chest.

“It’ll look great!” Jimin says excitedly, and then he slips from Jeongguk’s lap to rush to their shared wardrobe. He pulls out a bag from somewhere in the back and throws it towards Jeongguk, smiling at him proudly. Jeongguk only rolls his eyes before he opens the bag and a bright yellow banana costume comes into sight.

“Are you for real?” Jeongguk’s shoulders drop at the realization of what he’s holding in his hands, giving Jimin an annoyed look when he finds his eyes again. Jimin only looks as smug as always, probably feeling very proud of his idea.

“There was no banana milk costume, so I thought this would do, too,” Jimin explains proudly while coming closer and taking the costume out of Jeongguk’s hands. Then, he reaches forward and pulls Jeongguk’s shirt over his head, throwing it to the side. “Nah, nah. No funny business!” he immediately says when Jeongguk smirks at him and reaches out for Jimin’s clothes, too. “You’ll get undressed, get into your costume, and then we really have to leave. No, don’t pout at me again, it doesn’t work. Get dressed, now!” Jimin orders him, and Jeongguk does as he’s told while Jimin rushes into the kitchen to get the cookies he had been preparing the whole afternoon.

It’s around fifteen minutes later that they find themselves in Jeongguk’s car, driving towards Taehyung’s house. The car ride is mostly filled with Jimin’s giggles any time he looks over to Jeongguk in his costume, but Jeongguk can’t help but join in, feeling euphoric about the fact that Jimin is happy. He still can’t believe that he’s doing this each and every year. He’s a creature of the night, someone people fear, a monster they write books about. Yet, Jeongguk sits in a car with his boyfriend, wearing a bright yellow banana costume, smiling because his boyfriend is happy.

Maybe it’s better that people don’t know this side about vampires, or else they wouldn’t be afraid anymore. People surely don’t think a vampire as disgustingly in love as Jeongguk is frightening.

They arrive at the house and park the car down the road, the loud music already blasting all over the street. Celebrating Halloween at Taehyung’s house always makes them feel like they’re teenagers again, forgetting about their stressful days and lives as adults. For tonight, they are just another couple in a costume, getting drunk and celebrating with their friends while dancing to music that the TikTok generation doesn’t even know anymore (who doesn’t know the Backstreet Boys, though?)

“I can’t believe you let him do this to you,” is the first thing Yoongi says when Jimin and Jeongguk come through the entrance door. He eyes Jeongguk from head to toe, before he turns to Jimin and they exchange a look before breaking out in loud laughter. 

“So, you’re trying to tell me that dressing up as Black Widow was totally your idea and not Taehyung’s?” Jeongguk snorts, making Yoongi roll his eyes. They have this little fight every year – trying to make their boyfriends not choose the most horrible costume for them, but this year it’s definitely Jeongguk who loses the fight. 

“No, but at least I’m not a fucking fruit every year.”

“A carrot is not a fruit!” Jimin steps in, but Yoongi and Jeongguk only glare at him, which makes him raise his hands in defeat. “I’ll go over to Taehyung. You two are going to spend the night on the couch anyway. That’s so lame.”

“Don’t exhaust yourself too much. We still have plans after this clown show,” Jeongguk says cheekily, and Jimin looks at him with wide eyes. Before he can even answer him, Jeongguk pulls him closer by his hips and presses his lips to Jimin’s in a loving kiss. “You look beautiful tonight. I’d eat you up right now,” he mumbles against Jimin’s lips, making him chuckle. And maybe even blush a little bit.

“Thanks for picking this for me,” Jimin smiles, pressing another kiss to Jeongguk’s lips. “I’ll see you later. I love you, banana boy.”

“I love you, too.” And then Jimin disappears into the crowd, making his way to Taehyung and their other friends. Jeongguk looks after Jimin until he reaches the other end of the room where someone is already shoving a glass with some red liquid into his hand. Jeongguk has to force himself to look away before Jimin starts drinking whatever drink they gave him, or he might run through the house, pick Jimin up, and drive him right back home.

“Let’s sit down on the bench outside. I wanna have a smoke,” Yoongi suggests, and Jeongguk follows him outside. They sit down on the bench in the garden, surrounded by a few bushes and the pool in their line of view. Taehyung was the one planning all the interior for the house, but the garden was completely Yoongi’s thing. He once told Jeongguk how much he loves working in the garden after a long day of work or on the weekends, to relieve some stress (Jeongguk can and will never understand how someone prefers physical activity over laying down on the couch after work, but well.)

Each year, they find themselves outside, somewhere in the garden, drinking one or maybe two beers, while their boyfriends are having the time of their lives inside. They both just prefer the rather chill environment outside, than being inside and a part of the crowd. That’s how they always end up in the garden, sitting side by side – as a carrot and a witch, a pirate and a nurse, a tiger and a lion. Or well, Black Widow and a banana for this year.

“How’s work going? I heard there’s a lot to do with a new project?”

“Yeah, it’s hell. Even though I took some days off I check my mails when Jimin isn’t looking or out of the house. But I want to get over this soon, cause the whole team will have a month off after we’re done,” Jeongguk sighs, taking a sip of his beer. 

“You look like you need it,” Yoongi giggles, “Even though you’re dressed as a banana, you rather look like a vampire. You’re nearly stealing the show from Jimin.”

Jeongguk snickers at the comment, turning his head to catch a glimpse of Jimin inside the house through the open glass doors, dancing with Taehyung in the living room. He looks ethereal in his outfit, the fabric suiting his skin tone just right, making him look better than ever. Not that Jeongguk doesn’t think Jimin isn’t the most beautiful man in the world, but dressed in Jeongguk’s old clothes, his hair parted and out of his forehead, and his fake vampire teeth… he’s like a walking dream.

Jeongguk thought about it so often – how it would be, with Jimin as a vampire. If he only turned him and didn’t have to hide his secret anymore. Jeongguk is his purest and most honest self with Jimin, he never lied to him, not even once, besides the one secret he’s been carrying deep inside of him for the past eight years.

It makes Jeongguk think back to Jin’s words, about honesty and respect. Maybe he should finally tell him the truth and respect Jimin’s decision as a human, because that is all he can do. Of course he could force Jimin to stay with him, could use his powers like Jin or other vampires do on a daily basis, could make him stay against his will. But Jeongguk would never do that. He’d rather burn in hell than to ever do anything against Jimin’s will.

“–gguk? Hey, Kook?” Yoongi suddenly nudges him in the side, and Jeongguk quickly turns his head back to face his friend. “Is everything okay?” There is a hint of worry in Yoongi’s eyes and it makes Jeongguk’s heart sink.

“Did you ever…” Jeongguk starts, but then he thinks about his words one more time. How could he actually get an honest answer from Yoongi without exposing himself? But he needs another honest opinion, an opinion that doesn’t come from another vampire who doesn’t even share the same way of living. “Did you ever hide something from someone you love, because you didn’t know how to tell them?” Yes, that’s good. That’s not obvious, at all.

“I think we’re constantly hiding things from one another. Sometimes because we don’t want others to know what’s hidden deep in our minds or because we’re afraid they might think differently of us if they knew, but that doesn’t have to be something negative in general.” Yoongi’s voice is calm and collected, slowly soothing Jeongguk’s inner turmoil.

“What if… the thing you’re hiding is… something that might change your whole relationship? What if they know the truth and… everything breaks apart?” Jeongguk probably sounds like the biggest fool right now. He doesn’t even want to know what Yoongi must be thinking of him right now. 

“Would you want to live in a lie? Wake up every morning, enjoying each second, just to realize one day that everything was just a lie?”

“No.”

“Then you already know your answer, Jeongguk,” Yoongi smiles, and he places his hand on Jeongguk’s thigh, squeezing gently, “I don’t know what’s going on and it’s none of my business either, but when I look at you and then look at him,” Yoongi turns his head to look inside the house, too, spotting Taehyung and Jimin laughing and dancing, “ I don’t believe there is something that can break you two apart. You guys always were the ones to figure out what to do, how to solve any disagreement. Have a little trust in your relationship.”

Trust.

Trust.

Jeongguk had had trust in a lot of people when he was still a human. He always believed in the good, but when he got turned, things changed drastically. Jeongguk never trusted anyone ever again, always in defense mode, only trusting his own instincts. Being always around people, but utterly alone inside. Until he met Jimin. And Jimin changed everything. Suddenly, there was warmth and light in Jeongguk’s life. A home, a person to lean on, someone to trust with his whole heart. Jeongguk always thought that he was the same for Jimin – someone to love, someone to trust.

“You’re right. Thank you, hyung.”

“Anytime, you little shit,” Yoongi snickers, and ruffles Jeongguk’s hair. They both finish their beer and stay outside, talking about their boyfriends, work, vacation plans for the upcoming year and Yoongi already being stressed because of Taehyung’s birthday in December (Jeongguk suggests a proposal which makes Yoongi blush and change the topic quickly.)

When it’s somewhat around 2 am, Jeongguk craves the closeness of Jimin more than ever. He and Taehyung came outside to them a few times, checking up on them, giving them sweet kisses, just to disappear inside again. Now Jeongguk wants more than a quick peck, now he wants to hold Jimin in his arms one last night, before he might leave him in the morning. 

Because tomorrow, Jeongguk will be honest. Tomorrow, everything will be different.

Now, the two men make their way inside to find their boyfriends just where they left them at the beginning of the evening. In the middle of the huge living room, dancing and laughing without a single care in the world. Sneakily, Jeongguk gets behind Jimin and wraps his arms around him, resting his chin on Jimin’s shoulder with enough distance to his neck. Jimin quickly turns his head and while placing his hands on Jeongguk’s arms on his stomach, he brightly smiles at Jeongguk, showing off his sharp fangs. It makes Jeongguk’s head spin.

“You look so beautiful,” Jeongguk whispers against Jimin’s lips while holding him close, nudging his nose against Jimin’s.

“You, too. Most beautiful banana I have ever seen,” Jimin snickers, and Jeongguk rolls his eyes while trying to suppress another smile.

“Would you let this banana take you home now? I might even offer you to bite me, vampire,” Jeongguk jokes, and Jimin turns around in his arms, facing him now with a wicked smile.

“Mh, I might like to taste you,” Jimin whispers, eyes glowing due to his red lenses. Jimin’s eyes fall to Jeongguk’s neck and Jeongguk catches the quick movement before Jimin looks him in the eye again, nearly seeming apologetic.

“It’s o-okay,” Jeongguk stutters, but deep inside his heart is racing. Even right now, even when they are just playing around – Jimin still respects the rule about their necks they established years ago. That’s why Jeongguk trusts him so much. That’s why he loves him so dearly.

That’s why it’s so hard to think about losing him.

When the music changes to a slower song, they stay close to each other, both in their own world. Their bodies move in sync to the rhythm, and Jeongguk can’t take his eyes off of Jimin. Red orbs are looking back at him, filled with so much love and adoration. Jeongguk’s eyes follow any trace on Jimin’s face, from his dark hair to his eyebrows, his beautiful sharp eyes, and his cute nose. Jeongguk can’t help himself but place a sweet kiss on the tip of it.

“Thank you for picking such a great costume for me. Everyone complimented me tonight,” Jimin says while slow dancing, and Jeongguk beams at him. “You still didn’t tell me where did you get all of this from? The fabric is so soft, it seems expensive.”

“I– I made it myself one day. But it was years ago, I never sewed anything ever again,” Jeongguk admits, watching Jimin’s eyes widen.

“You made this? All by yourself? Why did you stop?”

“I think one vampire gown is enough for a lifetime,” he laughs, and Jimin joins in.

“No, but you could sew other things! Why did you never make any Halloween sweaters for us? You’re so talented, I’m sure it would be easy for you,” Jimin says excitedly, but Jeongguk only shakes his head, laughing.

“I swear, what you’re wearing was enough for a lifetime. I have another blouse and robe somewhere, but I liked these the most. It fits your skin tone and hair color perfectly.”

“We could’ve been a hot vampire couple this Halloween! Why didn’t you tell me you have more of these?” Jimin now nearly whines, pouting at Jeongguk.

“Cause you chose this,” he points at his bright yellow costume, “for me. It’s not my fault you have no taste in costumes.”

“Excuse me! The banana was a very thoughtful costume!” Jimin barely gets the words out since he was already bursting into laughter at his own words, and Jeongguk rolls his eyes again, kissing Jimin’s forehead.

“It’s great. We can dress as a vampire couple next year.”

Next year. Next year, Jeongguk will celebrate his birthday alone again, celebrate Jimin’s birthday without him, and get dressed on Halloween alone, his thoughts always with Jimin each and every day. Maybe he’ll make sure he’s okay from time to time, walk past his apartment or his workplace without Jimin knowing, just to see him. To see him move on with his life and leave Jeongguk behind. 

“You seem tired, do you want to go home?” Jimin asks, gently caressing Jeongguk’s cheek. Jeongguk doesn’t even answer him, but nods at him, making Jimin detach himself and reach for Jeongguk’s hand instead. He intertwines their fingers and pulls Jeongguk through the living room and the crowd of people towards the entrance door. They make a quick stop in the kitchen where they find Taehyung and Yoongi, wave them goodbye, and then they are quickly out of the house.

The drive home is quiet, Jeongguk’s hand resting on Jimin’s thigh, Jimin’s hand on top of his, caressing the back of Jeongguk’s hand.

“Thank you for coming to the party with me,” Jimin suddenly says, and Jeongguk quickly looks over, finding Jimin already smiling at him.

“You say this every year as if it’s a burden to me. You know I’d go anywhere with you, and I think dressing as a banana is pretty much proof for that,” Jeongguk chuckles, and he feels Jimin wrapping his own fingers around Jeongguk’s, gently squeezing.

“Still. I’m so happy with you and so thankful that you’re always with me, always supporting me, and I just love you so much, you know? Every day I’m grateful to wake up next to you,” Jimin breathes out, without knowing what his words are doing to Jeongguk. He is feeling hot all over, his heart daring to jump out of his chest due to how full of love he feels.

“I love you, Jimin. I will love you until the world ends.”

It’s not just any statement, it’s a promise.

☽

After a shower together, getting into cozy clothes, and snuggling underneath the blanket together, Jimin finds himself in Jeongguk’s arms, breathing in his calming scent. His head is resting on Jeongguk’s chest, one of his hands gently caressing Jimin’s shoulder. It’s nearly 4 am, but somehow Jimin doesn’t feel tired at all. 

“Are you okay?” Jeongguk asks, when Jimin keeps moving around, not really finding a good position to sleep.

“Yeah, just… somehow, I’m not tired,” Jimin sighs, moving his head so he can look up to Jeongguk with a pout.

“Me neither,” Jeongguk smiles, watching Jimin’s lips turn into a small smile. It might be their last night together, how could Jeongguk even think about sleeping and missing these last hours with Jimin? He wants to stay in this moment forever, hold Jimin close forever, smell him, feel him underneath his fingertips. Hear his heartbeat which sounds like a lullaby to him.

“Hm, maybe I can get a taste now of what you promised me before?” Jimin says, biting down on his own lip after the words leave his mouth. Jeongguk sucks in a harsh breath, but Jimin doesn’t give him a second to think about it, already moving around and crawling into Jeongguk’s lap. Jeongguk’s hands immediately wander to Jimin’s thighs, feeling the soft skin underneath his fingertips since Jimin is only wearing boxer briefs and a shirt.

“I didn’t know you’re into bananas that much,” Jeongguk huffs, watching Jimin coming close to his face.

“I didn’t know you’re that much into vampires, but maybe we unlocked something new here,” Jimin whispers back, connecting their lips in a sweet kiss. Jeongguk melts into the touch of Jimin’s lips on his, Jimin’s hands holding his face on both sides, and the warmth that spreads over his whole body. They make out for what feels like an eternity, and Jeongguk wishes he could stop the world right now.

“I love you so much,” Jimin says in between kisses, and Jeongguk feels the air shift around them. This isn’t just some quick fuck to get tired, this isn’t just sex for the sake of it – this is love in its purest form. This is feeling each other as close as possible, feeling their deeper connection, making each other feel what only they can spark. At the same time, this is their last time sharing this kind of intimacy. Jeongguk wants to make it last for as long as possible.

With a quick movement, he rolls them both around and hovers over Jimin, attaching their lips again. Slowly, he sucks Jimin’s bottom lip into his mouth before releasing it again, just to repeat the action until he feels Jimin’s tongue against his own lips. With a sigh, Jeongguk deepens the kiss and moves his tongue against Jimin’s, slowly chasing each other while Jimin’s hands roam over Jeongguk’s back.

Breathless, Jeongguk pulls his head back and attaches his lips to Jimin’s bottom lip again, then down to his chin, and then, for the first time, Jeongguk slowly lowers his lips to Jimin’s neck. He feels himself shaking the closer he comes to the thin part of skin, but then presses a gentle kiss right where he hears Jimin’s blood pulse through his veins. It’s the sound of life, of Jimin’s beating heart. The one that’s beating for Jeongguk, the one only he is able to get racing like that.

Jeongguk has always been too afraid to get close to Jimin like this, but tonight he wants it all. He wants to give in to his nature just a little bit, wants to smell Jimin’s blood through his skin and keep that fragrance on his mind  until he dies.

“Is this okay?” Jimin suddenly asks, voice breaking at the end. One of his hands is in Jeongguk’s hair by now, caressing his scalp in a calming manner.

“Y-Yes, it’s okay,” Jeongguk stutters, inhaling Jimin’s scent another time, before he places a few kisses on his neck and travels down further, sucking a small hickey onto his collarbone.

Jimin is looking down to Jeongguk, feeling the change in the air between them as well. He doesn’t know what exactly it is, but he knows his boyfriend well enough to understand that something is different tonight. He caught Jeongguk looking at him so many times during the party, but he thought Jeongguk just wanted to make sure he was okay. But then Jeongguk came to the living room and they were slow dancing, and Jeongguk looked at him so differently. Like he was about to break at any second. Jimin thought he was just tired, but maybe it’s something different. Jimin doesn’t know, but he’s sure he will figure it out.

Right now, they just want each other close. Anything else can wait until the morning.

Jeongguk leans back and undresses his shirt quickly, so Jimin does the same, throwing it to the side as well. He’s already reaching out for Jeongguk’s chest, eager to touch his boyfriend. Jeongguk only grins down at him, but he is quick to bring his lips down to Jimin’s chest again, gently licking over his nipple. Jimin sucks in a harsh breath, and Jeongguk knows all too well how much he likes it, so he teases him just a little more.

Small huffs fall from Jimin’s lips and he lifts his hips just a little, pressing his crotch against Jeongguk’s to gain some kind of friction. In the meantime, Jeongguk doesn’t seem to be phased at all, still taking his sweet time when he presses kiss after kiss on Jimin’s chest and his stomach, worshiping every inch of naked skin he can reach. 

“You’re so beautiful, it hurts me,” Jeongguk whispers against Jimin’s abdomen, stopping in his movement, his lips hovering over Jimin’s skin. Jimin sees the way the muscles in his back tense and the veins on his arms are visible due to Jeongguk holding himself up the whole time. He can’t really grasp what’s going on in Jeongguk’s head at that second, but he doesn’t like it at all right now.

“Baby, hey,” Jimin decides to say, silence falling over them until Jeongguk finally looks up at him again. “Come here, please?” It’s more a question than a request, but Jeongguk follows his words and leans closer to Jimin again, until Jimin can place his hands on both his cheeks, looking at him. Really looking at him. Or more like, looking right through him.

Suddenly, Jeongguk feels exposed under Jimin’s gaze, but he can only look back at him, not daring to say a single word. What could he possibly say? What does he tell someone he is about to lose in the morning? What are some memorable words Jimin will think back to during their last night? Jeongguk wants this to be special, to mean something. He wants Jimin to realize how much he loves him and that he always will, despite his murderous nature.

In silence, Jimin caresses Jeongguk’s cheek and his eyes roam over Jeongguk’s face, making him feel so small. He’s a predator, but in Jimin’s arms he is nothing but a prey of love.

“Calm down, it’s just us,” Jimin then says after a long span of silence. “You’re nearly as nervous as back then, during our first time,” he giggles, and Jeongguk lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, laughing as well.

“We promised to not talk about it ever again,” Jeongguk huffs, avoiding Jimin’s eyes and trying to look anywhere else.

“It was still nice. It always is when I’m with you, so don’t overthink it now. Whatever is in your head, let’s forget it for tonight, hm?” Jeongguk takes a deep breath after Jimin’s words, nodding slightly. He really doesn’t understand how Jimin always knows what to say and how to calm him down. He knows exactly when Jeongguk needs a break, needs to talk about something, or simply needs a distraction. How will he continue living without all of these things?

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to ruin the mood,” Jeongguk sighs, apologetic eyes finding Jimin’s again. Instead of disappointment, he only finds his boyfriend beaming at him.

“I still think you’re very hot and very attractive, so I don’t mind continuing what we started here,” Jimin grins, biting down on his bottom lip, and Jeongguk catches the movement right in time. He furrows his eyebrows and stares at Jimin’s lips, probably staring a bit too long, until Jimin repeats it and bites down on his lip again. Jeongguk watches his puffy lip when Jimin releases it again and without another word he catches it with his own, falling into another deep kiss with Jimin.

Jimin’s arms immediately fall behind Jeongguk’s neck where he crosses them, pulling Jeongguk as close as possible. With his back bent and his chest pressed against Jeongguk’s, he tries to feel him on every inch of his skin.

This time it’s Jimin rolling them around, settling in Jeongguk’s lap and gently letting his fingernails scratch over Jeongguk’s chest and down to his stomach. Slowly, Jimin moves backwards until he is sitting on Jeongguk’s thighs, teasingly reaching underneath the fabric of his boxer briefs. Jeongguk is laying against the head of the bed, a pillow comfortably propped behind his head, watching each and every movement Jimin makes with pure awe.

“Maybe I can help you relax a little. I know my ways with bananas, you know?” Jimin winks, but breaks out laughing when the words leave his lips, making Jeongguk laugh out loud as well.

“Oh God, there is no way you just said that!” Jeongguk snorts, “That was so cringy, I can’t breathe.” They both laugh in unison and slowly get back to their regular selves, no tension and no pressure over them. Jeongguk feels way lighter, the dark clouds in his head slowly fading away with each laugh that comes from Jimin’s mouth. The happiness and gratefulness takes over, and he feels his body slowly loosening up.

Jimin tries to focus back on what they were about to do, still giggling all the way while he helps Jeongguk out of his boxer briefs. “Sorry, I– I couldn’t hold myself back,” he keeps laughing, and then clears his throat, “Okay, no jokes anymore. This is serious business,” he tries to say, but keeps failing again and again since he feels the need to laugh that hard. Jeongguk throws his head back, laughing out loud, and he can’t believe they are in this situation. Laughing, carefree, full of love. It’s easy between them, it always has been, and he will hold onto that for all the years to come.

“You’re really something else, Park Jimin,” Jeongguk chuckles when he sits up and pulls Jimin’s face towards him and into another sweet kiss. Jimin immediately falls into the touch and kisses him back, carefully settling in Jeongguk’s lap while making out. Gentle fingers wrap around Jeongguk’s length while their tongues chase each other, and Jeongguk can’t help himself but let out a shaky breath. Jimin’s fingers work their way up and down Jeongguk’s cock, his thumb caressing its tip, just the way it drives Jeongguk insane.

Their kisses turn into gentle pecks, Jeongguk mostly just moaning into Jimin’s mouth before he chases his lips again. “Lay down, baby,” Jimin whispers against his lips, and he pushes Jeongguk into the mattress again before he sits down between his open legs. Jimin takes his sweet time brushing his lips over the tanned skin, biting down here and there, teasing Jeongguk just a little (and maybe Jimin is such a sucker for Jeongguk’s thighs, sue him.)

When Jeongguk feels Jimin’s hot breath hitting the head of his cock, he presses his head back down into the pillow and closes his eyes, simply wanting to feel what Jimin is willing to give him now. It takes another long minute until Jeongguk finally gets what he was waiting for and Jimin’s full lips wrap around its tip, teasingly licking over it. A deep moan leaves Jeongguk’s mouth, and he reaches down his body until he finds Jimin’s head and grabs him by the hair. It’s not to lead him to do anything or hold him in place, it’s simply for Jeongguk to somehow hold himself together. During their years together Jimin mastered to perfection the art of sucking him off and Jeongguk blacked out more than once, so it’s just to keep himself grounded.

A loud gasp is heard when Jimin finally takes Jeongguk in his mouth, his tongue swirling around his length, wet warmth welcoming him. Jimin’s fingers grab into the flesh of Jeongguk’s thighs while he bops his head up and down so fucking slowly, it nearly brings Jeongguk to tears. 

“Ah, fuck,” Jeongguk curses under his breath, and he feels Jimin literally grinning around his cock. He takes his sweet time alternating between sucking him off and just sweetly licking over the tip, literally driving Jeongguk insane. There are times when Jeongguk feels like fucking Jimin’s throat and just holding him in place, take whatever he wants from him, but tonight he’s giving Jimin the lead since he asked for it. So he’s just laying there and letting the pleasure fill his whole body, electricity throbbing in every one of his veins while Jimin makes the most obscene noises down on his crotch.

“I could do this… all night… long.” Jimin whispers, small kitten licks over Jeongguk’s tip in between every word, making Jeongguk groan in frustration. He knows Jimin could do it, but he hopes he lets him get some release at some point tonight. “You’re so pretty when you fall apart like this, caused by nothing but my tongue.” Jeongguk hears the teasing tone in Jimin’s voice, but what is he supposed to say? Deny it? Lie and say it doesn’t feel like he’s fucking floating?

“Please,” Jeongguk suddenly begs, the word not too surprising anymore. He begged so many times for so many things in bed, and he knows how much Jimin loves to hear it from him.

He hears Jimin huff in satisfaction and then he leans back down, swallowing Jeongguk whole without any further words. It makes Jeongguk’s body react on his own and his hand grabs firmer into Jimin’s hair, holding onto him for dear mercy. Jimin presses his tongue against the length, taking him so deep that his nose hits Jeongguk’s crotch and makes him nearly see stars. Skilled, Jimin swallows around his cock and Jeongguk feels himself approaching his orgasm embarrassingly fast.

“Fuck, I–” Jeongguk gasps, the pressure in his low abdomen increasing more and more with each time Jimin moves his head up and down, but he doesn’t try to push him off or anything. Jeongguk just takes whatever Jimin gives him, and when he’s suddenly coming with a loud moan deep into Jimin’s throat, he feels the whole pressure leaving his body and he feels like he is on cloud nine.

While trying to catch his breath, Jeongguk props himself up on his elbows and looks down at Jimin who was licking over his lips in that precise moment, making Jeongguk groan out loud at the sight. With a smirk, Jimin comes crawling closer and presses his lips to Jeongguk’s in a fierce kiss, making Jeongguk taste himself on Jimin’s lips.

“You’re going to be the death of me,” Jeongguk chuckles into the kiss, and Jimin bites down his own lips again, scanning Jeongguk’s whole face and the way his hair is already slightly damp.

“Dying while being sucked off? Doesn’t sound too bad to me,” Jimin laughs, and he comfortably settles down in Jeongguk’s lap again. Jeongguk didn’t even realize when Jimin took off his boxer briefs, his hard cock now on full display for him, and it makes Jeongguk’s mouth water.

Without any further words, Jeongguk reaches forward in between Jimin’s legs, taking his cock into his hand. Jimin watches him with hooded eyes when Jeongguk starts jerking him off, using the precum for a better slide. Jimin leans down until their foreheads are leaning against each other, his eyes closed and his hot breath hitting Jeongguk’s face while he gets lost in the gentle touch of Jeongguk’s hand.

“Don’t make me come,” Jimin then whispers, eyes still closed. Jeongguk watches his ethereal face, the way his eyebrows are slightly furrowed and how his puffy lips tremble due to the touch.

“No? You don’t want to come?” Jeongguk teases, moving his hand a little faster and Jimin’s body jolts at the added pressure. He shakes his head but at the same time he moves his hips forward, chasing Jeongguk’s touch. “Doesn’t seem like it.”

“No, no. I want to come untouched. Want to come on your cock,” Jimin babbles, and it’s such a mystery to Jeongguk how quickly Jimin is able to fall into different roles. A few minutes ago he was ready to edge Jeongguk for the next five workdays, and now he’s putty in his hands. He loves their sexual dynamic and the way they can immediately adjust to their wants and needs like the flick of a switch.

Jeongguk only smiles at his boyfriend while he coats his left hand with some precum as well, his right hand still teasingly caressing the head of Jimin’s cock. Then he reaches around Jimin and his fingertips ghost over the round of his ass. Jimin gets the memo right away and bends his back just a little more, giving Jeongguk more access. Jeongguk circles his wet finger around Jimin’s rim, watching his face the whole time to memorize every one of his expressions.

Jimin’s hot breath keeps hitting Jeongguk’s lips, the sound of his tiny breaths filling the air, and then a small moan leaves him when Jeongguk pushes the first finger inside. Jimin decides to press his lips against Jeongguk, making him swallow all the upcoming moans instead. While they sensually make out, Jeongguk adds another finger, opening Jimin up for him. He smiles into the kiss when Jimin slowly starts moving, trying to get Jeongguk’s fingers in even deeper.

“So eager? Can’t even give me some time to play around,” Jeongguk chuckles, and Jimin only huffs at him.

“Stop playing around, you tease,” Jimin whines, looking at Jeongguk with a pout, which makes Jeongguk laugh. How can one person be so adorable? How is it even possible that Jimin makes him feel all of these great things?

“Wanna take it slow tonight, or do you have places to be, hm?”

“Guess my place to be is in your lap, riding you, so if you don’t mind,” Jimin snickers, and his boldness makes Jeongguk laugh again. Jimin reaches already behind and grabs Jeongguk’s cock, so Jeongguk removes his fingers and lets him do however he pleases. Jimin lines Jeongguk up to his ass and then sinks down in a swift movement, his heat welcoming Jeongguk and making them both moan out loud.

Jeongguk’s hands fall to Jimin’s hips, gently squeezing the flesh and encouraging him to take his time to adjust to the stretch. Jimin’s eyes are closed and his hands rest flat against Jeongguk’s chest, breathing in and out. Jeongguk only looks up to him and sees how the faint light of their Halloween decoration highlights his face, his sharp and soft features, his soft hair and godly shaped body.

If he could stop time, it would be right now. Not because they are having sex, because of the fact that they are the closest they could ever be. There is nothing between them in these moments, no clothes, no other emotion than love, no secrets, nothing. It’s just them, as pure as possible, loving each other in their own, safe bubble.

Jeongguk apparently stares at Jimin for a bit too long, because suddenly he feels gentle lips against his own and his eyes flutter close, kissing him back.

“You don't always have to stare at me, you know? I won’t run away,” Jimin giggles against his lips, a bright smile welcoming Jeongguk when he opens his eyes again to look at his boyfriend.

I won’t run away.

Jeongguk wishes he wouldn’t.

“Promise? You’ll never run away from me?” It’s an egoistic promise, Jeongguk knows that. It’s not fair to make Jimin promise such a thing, only for Jimin to feel bad about himself in the end because he couldn’t keep that promise. But tonight Jeongguk can’t help himself. He’s been egoistic for the past eight years, taking and taking from Jimin but always hiding his true self in the dark. He just needs  this last night, even though it’s not fair. He needs to hear this promise, even though they both will break it.

“I promise,” Jimin answers without any hesitation or questions about such an odd request, sealing it with a gentle kiss. He just promises it, as if it’s the easiest thing in the world. “If I ever do, I hope you come chasing me.”

Jeongguk would. He would follow Jimin around the world, trying to catch him, but he’s sure Jimin wouldn’t really want him to when he knows the truth. In the end, Jimin will leave him and Jeongguk will break apart. Not even a promise can prevent that, but tonight that promise is everything that’s holding Jeongguk together.

Jeongguk places one of his hands on the back of Jimin’s head, pulling him closer and deepening their kiss. It’s soft but also demanding, it’s tongue against tongue and teeth clicking against each other, tasting, licking and gentle bites. Jimin moves his hips slowly, riding Jeongguk while they keep kissing. Breathy moans fill the room, the sound of wet kisses and skin slapping against skin, joined by the smell of sweat, sex, and the scented cinnamon candles Jimin lit up earlier. For Jeongguk, everything smells like Jimin. Just him and his unique scent of home.

“Mind if y–you take over?” Jimin gasps, slowly out of air from all the kissing and riding Jeongguk. His thighs must burn by now, so Jeongguk wraps his arms around him and turns them both around, his cock still inside Jimin. Jeongguk hovers over him, one hand reaching out to the edge of the bed for support, the other hosting Jimin’s leg on his shoulder for better access. He reaches even deeper like that and Jimin’s eyes roll into his skull when Jeongguk starts thrusting into him.

It starts slow, each thrust barely filled with force, but it doesn’t take long for Jimin to beg for more. “Please, please, Jeongguk, please,” he babbles, and who is Jeongguk to deny him anything? His thrusts become faster, more erratic, and Jimin’s body moves up the bed due to the force. Jeongguk wants nothing more than to look at Jimin’s face, his typical expression of pleasure visible, but he also can’t help himself and catches himself looking down more often, watching how his cock is buried deep inside of Jimin.

He keeps fucking him, pulling his cock out as far as possible before slamming back in, milking the most sinful sounds from Jimin. “So good for me, so good,” Jeongguk gasps, not even sure what he is saying, but feeling the urgent need to praise Jimin. “You’re so perfect, just mine, right? Just mine,” Jeongguk goes on, feeling his own movements become faster, as if he needs to prove a point.

“Yours, yours, yours,” Jimin repeats, his eyes flying open at a sudden harsh thrust right against his prostate. “Ah!” he moans, and it sends shivers down Jeongguk’s spine.

Jeongguk stops suddenly and pulls out, and Jimin nearly curses at him. But Jeongguk kneels down in the middle of the bed and leans down to shove his arms around Jimin and hoists him up and back into his lap. Gently, he lowers Jimin down on his cock and like that, Jimin is slightly above him, wrapping his arms around Jeongguk’s neck and looking down to him with a fucked out expression.

“You were too far away,” Jeongguk admits, feeling his cheeks blush, and Jimin beams at him, pressing their chests even closer against each other. 

“I’m right here. I will always be, baby,” Jimin smiles, and leans in for another kiss. Jeongguk starts with slow thrusts again while Jimin keeps kissing over his whole face. His gentle fingers caress Jeongguk’s hair on his neck, lips wandering around to bite down on his earlobe, teasingly sucking on it before his lips wander deeper. Jeongguk feels his body stiffen and apparently Jimin notices, too, because he quickly pulls away before he gets too close to his neck, apologetic eyes already on Jeongguk.

“I’m sorry, I– I got carried away, I didn’t mean to! I’m so sorr–”

“Shh, it’s okay. It’s okay, yeah? You… You can– touch me there,” Jeongguk answers, swallowing heavily at his own words. They used to have this rule for so long, both never touching each other’s necks or coming too close – because Jeongguk didn’t want to. He couldn’t. He couldn’t be close to Jimin’s neck for obvious reasons, but having Jimin close to his own neck was also like a red flag. It brought back too many memories of his own turning, disgust pooling at this stomach by the thought alone.

But now he wants to feel Jimin there. He wants him to leave one last mark on his neck, filling his mind with only good memories about this part of his body, not just the bad ones.

“Are you sure? I don’t have to, it’s a rule for a reason,” Jimin asks shyly, and Jeongguk can read it in his eyes how bad he feels about himself right now for nearly breaking their rule. He doesn’t want to see him like that. He wants the giggly and happy Jimin, always.

“I want you to touch me there,” Jeongguk nearly begs, his voice shaking now. He wants Jimin to erase the bad memories and replace them with his warm touch instead.

Jimin doesn’t even answer him, wide eyes still looking down at Jeongguk and searching for any kind of hesitation, but Jeongguk wraps his arms around him even closer, slightly tilting his head. Jimin sucks in a harsh breath and Jeongguk feels Jimin’s hands trembling when he carefully puts one on his chest and the other on the other side of his neck to hold him. Carefully, Jimin leans in and when Jeongguk feels his breath against exactly this part of his neck, goosebumps rise all over his body.

Jeongguk’s hands are placed on Jimin’s naked back, clinging onto him like that, and his eyes fall shut. He tries to breathe but his heart is racing, and he’s afraid of his body not reacting in the way he wants it to. But then Jimin’s soft lips ghost over the thin skin there, making Jeongguk shudder. He feels his hands nearly clawing into Jimin’s back, and then it comes – a small kiss, with barely any force against Jeongguk’s neck, and within a second it feels like Jeongguk’s whole mind is silent.

There is nothing. No memories, no bad thoughts. Just Jimin’s gentle lips on his skin.

Jeongguk gasps for air and Jimin pulls back, trying to check up on him. Worried eyes look down at Jeongguk, but Jeongguk can’t help himself and smile. Jimin looks confused at first, but then relief falls over him as well, smiling brightly before he kisses Jeongguk’s lips.

“Good?”

“Very good,” Jeongguk sighs, and Jimin brushes his sweaty hair out of his face, caressing his skin.

“But that was enough, alright? Let’s not overachieve,” Jimin says, raising one eyebrow at Jeongguk, but Jeongguk only nods in agreement. It’s okay. It’s more than enough. It has to be enough.

“Maybe I should finally do something good for you now,” Jeongguk grins, circling his hips a little and making Jimin gasps. Without waiting for an answer, he rolls them over again until Jimin is on his back again, giggling at the sudden change. He wraps his legs around Jeongguk’s lower back and Jeongguk puts his hands left and right from his head, leaning down to catch his lips in another kiss while he starts thrusting again.

Quickly, the mood changes from giggly and happy to sweaty and sinful, their combined moans creating the most beautiful sound. Jimin catches Jeongguk’s lips again after a particularly loud moan escapes him, but Jeongguk decides to run his nose down his jaw and to his neck instead, while his cock drags into Jimin’s walls over and over again.

The scent of Jimin’s blood and the sound of it rushing through his veins has Jeongguk in a chokehold, but he knows himself. He knows he can control himself. So he lets the lullaby of fresh blood guide him, nosing over Jimin’s neck and leaving tiny kisses there, while Jimin’s hands claw into his back at the drag of Jeongguk’s cock against his prostate. Jeongguk feels his own orgasm build up fast, and for a split second he asks himself if it’s due to the smell of Jimin’s blood that fills his nostrils.

“I’m so close, please,” Jimin whines, and Jeongguk reaches one hand down between them, wanting to touch Jimin, but he slaps his hand away. “Make me come like this, please, please,” he adds, desperation audible in each word.

“I got you,” Jeongguk whispers against Jimin’s ear before attaching his lips with his neck again, gently nipping at the thin skin there. “Will you come for me? Coming on my cock alone?”

“Jeongguk, ah, ” Jimin moans, bending his back further, his own cock rubbing against Jeongguk’s body. He keeps fucking him, hitting his prostate dead on, and Jimin’s moans become louder and louder. “Jeongguk, I– I’m–” Jimin’s orgasm is approaching quickly, and Jeongguk feels his fingernails drag over his back, leaving scratches all over.

“Be good for me now,” Jeongguk whispers right into Jimin’s ear, and that’s when he loses it and his orgasm hits him right away. Jimin is spilling between them while moaning out loud, and Jeongguk comes inside him, head dropping in the crook of Jimin’s neck and shoulder.

They stay like this for what feels like an eternity, catching their breaths. With a groan, Jeongguk gets up on his hands so he doesn’t squeeze Jimin and waits for Jimin’s approval to pull out. When he gets a small nod, he pulls back and Jimin whines lowly at the drag on his sensitive hole, but Jeongguk is quick to get a washcloth with warm water to clean him up carefully.

Before he lays back down, he blows out the candles, and Jimin immediately cuddles closer, clinging onto Jeongguk’s side like a koala bear. Jeongguk pulls the blanket over them and kisses Jimin’s head, wrapping his arms around him.

“Are you tired now?” Jeongguk asks with a smirk, and Jimin snorts at the sudden question.

“So tired. Wanna sleep forever,” he says, his voice already way smaller than before. “Tomorrow, I want to stay home the whole day and drink hot chocolate and watch a movie, and maybe… maybe we could…” but before he can finish his sentence, Jimin falls asleep on his chest, making Jeongguk’s heart feel like it is bursting from love.

Jeongguk doesn’t know for how long he stays awake, even though he is tired. He just wants to use every second to look at Jimin, feel him, smell him. But after a while, he can’t keep his eyes open anymore, and he falls asleep to the soft sound of Jimin’s heartbeat.

For the last time.

☽

Jeongguk wakes up to the sound of shattering glass.

Immediately, he’s wide awake and sits up in bed, looking around. Jimin isn’t in bed anymore, so he gets up quickly and only slips into some sweatpants, making his way out of the bedroom.

“Jimin?” he asks, but there is no response. His heartbeat quickens and he sneaks into the kitchen from where he thought he had heard the sound. When he peaks around the corner, he doesn’t face an intruder, another vampire, or whatever – he just spots Jimin standing in the corner of their kitchen, looking at the shattered glass and spilled orange juice with a pout.

“Jesus Christ, you scared me to death!” Jeongguk says, “Why didn’t you answer me when I called your name?”

“I was too busy sulking over the fact that I spent nearly an hour making fresh orange juice, just to drop the whole carafe in less than a second.” Jeongguk chuckles at the expression on his boyfriend’s face, but signals him to stay on the side while he cleans up the mess. Jimin is already upset enough about the accident, he shouldn’t also be the one cleaning it up (and if he cuts himself in the process they have a whole different problem, so no, thank you.) “I can clean it up, I made the mess, so I–”

“I’ll do it,” Jeongguk hears himself say, voice way deeper now than before, and it nearly scares himself. “I mean, I really don’t want you to get hurt, so, please. Just let me do it.”

Confused, Jimin looks at him, but then he nods and lets Jeongguk help him clean up the shattered glass and the spilled juice, so he doesn’t slip. Jimin goes to the other side of the kitchen where he already prepared breakfast for them and keeps decorating the table with small pumpkins and several witches and wolves figurines, while Jeongguk finishes cleaning up the floor.

“How about breakfast, then cuddling on the couch, watching a movie, and not moving again for the rest of the day?” Jimin asks with a smile, and Jeongguk snorts, feeling giggly about the plan. But he knows that’s not how their day is going to be. He knows he must be honest today, there is no way he could defer it any longer, so as much as he wants to lay on the couch with Jimin, he knows they can’t.

They still have their breakfast in peace, like any other day, and Jimin went to the market this morning not only to get fresh oranges, but also nectarines since he knows Jeongguk likes these the most. They keep chatting about this and that (because Jeongguk can’t just drop his dirty little secret on Jimin so early in the morning, right?) before cleaning up and moving to the couch. Jimin basically drags Jeongguk there and makes him sit down, resting his head in Jeongguk’s lap before pulling a blanket over them.

“What do you want to watch?” Jimin asks while lazily scrolling through their streaming apps. Jeongguk feels like watching a simple, funny movie. Maybe some romance? No, he can’t. He needs to be honest now, he needs to stop them doing… this. He can’t keep going on like this, but it’s just a movie, right? What are two more hours? No. No.

“Jimin, I’ll go get some snacks for us before the movie, how about that?” Jeongguk says with a stiff voice, and gently pushes Jimin off of him. “I can get us fresh popcorn from the cinema around the corner.”

Confused, Jimin sits up on the couch and watches Jeongguk getting up and walking towards the entrance door. “Are you okay? You can tell me if you want to do something else, or need some time alone,” Jimin suggests with a small voice, and it nearly breaks Jeongguk’s heart.

“No, I just thought we should make this a real movie day, huh? And what’s a movie day without popcorn?” Jeongguk smiles, trying his best to sound believable, and apparently it works, because slowly Jimin’s concerned face changes into a happy one.

“Don’t you dare get salty popcorn!” he yells after him, and then Jeongguk is already out of the door. He walks down the street and into the opposite direction of the cinema, towards the huge forest that’s close to the city. He always finds an excuse to go out and hunt, mostly he does it during his lunch breaks at work, or when he’s working out on the weekends. It’s just a little more complicated when they both have some days off and Jimin just wants to stay home on days like these, but Jeongguk needs to eat. He can’t let the same situation happen again that happened a few weeks ago.

And maybe he really needs some fresh air. Or maybe he is just playing time again. Because he is a fool, nothing else.

He’s quick to arrive at the forest and luckily it doesn’t take long to catch the trail of a deer, hunting it down and killing it quickly, drinking the fresh, warm blood from its neck. Jeongguk hates himself in such situations, when he’s hovering over the dead body of an animal, drinking its blood just so he can live. It’s disgusting and he knows it, and Jimin will think the same about him.

Upset, Jeongguk takes care of the dead body like he did so many times in the past, and makes his way back to the cinema to grab the promised popcorn. What a great day, killing a deer just to go back to his boyfriend and eat popcorn together. Jeongguk is such a hypocrite and he feels gross about himself, but it’s not even a feeling that is new to him. Maybe being with Jimin and loving him makes Jeongguk forget sometimes what and who he really is, but that doesn’t mean he can deny his nature.

“You were quick! Thank you, baby” Jimin says when Jeongguk comes back through the entrance door, and kicks his shoes to the side. Jimin already makes grabby hands at him, so Jeongguk hands him the popcorn with a smile before settling down next to him. Nervously, Jeongguk plays with the hem of his sweater and doesn’t even really listen to what Jimin is saying next to him.

Should he tell him right now? Or after the movie? How does he even tell him? He wishes Jimin would’ve found out by himself instead, then it wouldn’t be so hard right now. But this is Jeongguk’s fault, because he wasn’t honest from the very beginning like he should have been. He played this game for way too long, and he promised himself so many times today he would tell Jimin, but then it was never today. And never the day after.

“–so, what do you think about– Hey, are you really okay?”

Startled, Jeongguk turns his head to Jimin, looking at him like a deer in the headlights. Jimin’s worried gaze scans him up and down. In situations like these, Jeongguk hates that Jimin can read him like an open book.

“I–” Jeongguk starts, tearing his eyes away from Jimin again, not able to look him in the eyes.

“Jeongguk, please. What is going on? Are you not feeling so well? Did something happen?” Jimin asks, putting the remote and the popcorn to the side before he sits sideways on the couch and looks at Jeongguk.

Jeongguk could tell him something else, could say he is not feeling good, that he’s maybe getting sick. But that would be just another lie, and he knows it’s not fair.

“Jimin, I–” Jeongguk starts again, and he sees Jimin slightly nod in the corner of his eye, “I need to tell you something. I– This is so hard, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, take your time.”

Why? Why does he have to be so kind even now? Why can’t he force Jeongguk to finally say it, questioning what’s going on? Ask him if he cheated on him or wants to leave him? But it never comes. Jimin waits patiently for Jeongguk to speak up again.

“There… There was a reason why I… uhm, why I picked that costume for you this year,” Jeongguk starts, already regretting his choice of words, but he doesn’t know how to explain himself better. Or maybe it doesn’t matter how he explains himself, the end result will be the same anyway. “I told you that I made that robe myself. It was my favorite one, uhm, back then. So I wanted to see you wearing it, just because I thought it would suit you so well to be… to be a… you know, a…”

“A vampire?”

“Y-Yeah. A vampire.” The word feels like toxin on his tongue, disgusting and shameful right now, but Jeongguk can’t deny what he is, even though he tried to forget it for the past few years, just to be a normal human being, worthy of being by Jimin’s side.

Silence falls over them and Jeongguk keeps playing with his sweater, trying to find the right words or to finally get himself to say anything at all.

“Do you want to talk about it at another time maybe?” Jimin asks, still eyeing Jeongguk with so much worry.

“No, I– I should’ve talked about it eight years ago,” Jeongguk says, making Jimin flinch.

“Jeongguk, I– I don’t understand.” Now Jimin’s voice sounds different, unsure, afraid of what Jeongguk might tell him. Maybe he should just drop it on him, making Jimin feel scared of him, so he could run for his life and never come back. Jeongguk would promise not to chase him.

“Jimin, I made that robe you wore myself. Nearly two hundred years ago,” Jeongguk decides to say, his voice barely a whisper at the end, but the whole apartment is deathly silent, so Jimin catches it anyway.

“What do you mean? I don’t think I understand, baby.” Jimin is confused and Jeongguk knows there is no way back now. Today, right now, Jeongguk will lose what he searched for for ages. What he has loved for the past eight years and will love until the day he dies. It doesn’t hurt any less to know that Jimin will be able to move on, find someone else, and be happy. It will hurt forever.

“Jimin, I– I’m–” Jeongguk tries again, and this time he turns his head to look Jimin right in the eyes, “I am a vampire, Jimin. I died at the age of 28. In 1852.”

Jimin only sits there, not moving an inch, as if he’s not even mentally there. But then the information slowly seems to sink in and he moves a little backwards on the couch, bringing distance between the two of them.

“W-What? What did you just say?” Jimin asks, not believing what Jeongguk just told him Who can blame him? Jeongguk would react in the same way if their roles were reversed.

Slowly, Jeongguk gets up from the couch and moves to the other end of the room to not make Jimin feel uncomfortable with himself so close to him. Jimin still sits on the couch, back pressed against it, and wide eyes staring at Jeongguk.

“I won’t hurt you, I promise. Please believe me that I would never hurt you,” Jeongguk nearly begs, holding his hands up in a defensive manner

“This is a joke, right? A payback for all the times I made you wear ridiculous Halloween costumes, ha ha, funny. Now please stop, you’re scaring me,” Jimin breathes out, but Jeongguk can hear his fast heartbeat all the way through the living room. He is scared. Jeongguk knew it would happen.

“Why do you think we set up the rule about the neck?”

“Because you wanted us to! I never questioned it, because why would I? You asked me not to do it, so I never did! That doesn’t mean  anything,” Jimin says, confusion written all over his face.

“I never wanted to be close to your neck, because I am what I am. It’s hard for me to be so close to this… part of your body. I never wanted a situation to escalate because of that, so I avoided it at all costs,” Jeongguk explains, but he sees Jimin not believing a single word he is saying, “And I never wanted you close to mine, because all those years ago, someone bit my neck to turn me without me ever wanting that. This part of my body held too many dark memories, so I didn’t want you to come close.”

Jimin only stares at him. Nothing else. He just sits there and stares, and Jeongguk doesn’t know what to do or say. Did he make himself clear? Should he say something else? Will Jimin kick him out? Will he leave the apartment?

“But you… you don’t sparkle in the sun.”

And that’s what throws Jeongguk off.

“I don’t— I, what? Jimin, Twilight is bullshit. Vampires don’t sparkle in the sun.” Jeongguk has to hold himself back from laughing out loud, because that is the last thing he expected to hear from Jimin.

“And Edward never sleeps, because he is dead. You do sleep. Pretty loudly sometimes.”

“I told you, Twilight is bullshit. We do sleep,” Jeongguk adds, his head spinning from the conversation they are having right now. What the hell is going on?

“Is that why you never wanted to watch Twilight with me? Because you were afraid I’d find out?”

“How would you find out when I do not sparkle and do sleep? It just sucks, it makes vampires seem lame and they make werewolves way cooler than they actually are. They smell so disgustingly– Wait, Jimin, are you even listening to what I’m saying?”

“I heard you, but I don’t believe you. Prove it.”

Now that makes Jeongguk raise his eyebrows in surprise.

“Prove what? That I’m a vamp– Jimin, do you even take this seriously?” Jeongguk asks perplexed.

“You’re the one trying to make fun of me, so who is not taking who seriously here?” Jimin looks at him with narrowed eyes, crossed arms on his chest, while Jeongguk stands across the room, completely lost. This feels like in Spider-Man, where MJ doesn’t believe Peter that he’s Spider-Man and makes him crawl on the ceiling to prove it. Now Jeongguk understands the confusion.

“I’m not making fun of you, I’m being dead serious. Literally.”

In the blink of an eye, Jimin gets up from the couch and walks into the kitchen. Confused, Jeongguk keeps standing in his corner and waits until Jimin comes back with a large knife. Jeongguk’s eyes go wide when he realizes what he’s about to do.

“I beg you, please don’t. I don’t know if I can hold myself back, Jimin,” Jeongguk begs, pressing his body even firmer against the wall behind him, trying to back away as much as possible. “I don’t want to hurt you, please.”

“Try me,” Jimin says, and then he holds the knife to the palm of his hand, ready to cut into it. Quickly, Jeongguk runs around him and suddenly is behind Jimin, grabbing both of Jimin’s hands. Jimin tries to fight him, but Jeongguk easily makes him drop the knife. The loud sound of the knife falling to the ground seems to do its thing, and suddenly Jimin isn’t moving anymore. He isn’t fighting Jeongguk’s hold and he doesn’t say anything. 

“Please believe me,” Jeongguk whispers, and then Jimin rips his hands out of Jeongguk’s hold, turning around quickly to face him. Shyly, Jeongguk looks down to the ground, trying to signal Jimin that he’s not trying to harm him in any way. He’s preparing himself for Jimin to yell at him, maybe slap him, asking him to move out. Jeongguk feels like crying, but he’s holding himself back, because he isn’t in a position to cry.

When Jimin slowly lifts his hand, Jeongguk doesn’t move an inch but lets him do whatever he pleases. Slowly he comes closer and Jeongguk sees the way Jimin’s fingers are shaking when they reach out and brush against his lips. Jeongguk feels his own body flinching at the touch, and when Jimin carefully lifts his upper lip, Jeongguk gives in and lets his incisor teeth show themselves in their sharp, natural form they get when he’s about to hunt.

With a gasp, Jimin backs away, shocked eyes staring at Jeongguk. And that’s when Jeongguk sees it on his gaze for the first time. He is actually terrified of Jeongguk.

“W-Why?” is what Jimin asks after many seconds of silence. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” There are unshed tears shimmering in Jimin’s eyes and he looks like he is about to break down at any second now.

“I was afraid that you would be afraid of me. And I didn’t want to see that look on your face, like, the way you’re looking at me right now…” Jeongguk admits, tearing his eyes away from Jimin’s again and looking anywhere else in the room. “How do you… how do I even explain to someone what I am? I never told anyone before, and it’s so hard. I just never wanted to lose you.” Jeongguk’s voice breaks at the end, but he takes a deep breath to hold himself together. He can’t cry now. He’s not supposed to be the one crying, because he caused all of this.

“So you lied to me? For eight years?”

“I wanted to tell you, really! I wanted to tell you so many times, but I–”

“But you decided for yourself what would be the best, right?” Jimin says, more a statement than a question, and there is nothing Jeongguk could ever say about that, because it’s true. Slowly, the emotion in Jimin’s eyes changes. When there was fear before, there is now disgust. And Jeongguk understands. He wishes he could tell Jimin that he would never hurt him, that he was always trying to protect him.

“Did you want to kill me that night? When you left?”

“Jimin, no! What are you thinking? I would never–”

“Did you kill other people?”

The question makes Jeongguk choke on his own saliva and his mind races, trying to give a proper answer, but nothing really comes out of his mouth. There is no denying that he has killed people. Maybe not as often as others, maybe he hasn’t killed anyone in many, many years, but the answer to Jimin’s question will always be yes.

“Wow.”

Jimin doesn’t say anything else when he turns around and walks towards the door. Jeongguk can’t say anything else out loud when he watches him take his keys. Jeongguk just  stands in the exact same spot when Jimin slips his shoes on and puts on a jacket. He stands right there when Jimin closes the door and Jeongguk can’t hear his steps in the hallway anymore. Jeongguk keeps standing there when the sun slowly sets and his silent sobs slowly stop after crying so much that there are barely any tears left.

He looks around the apartment and the way the last sunbeams are slipping into the room, filling their home in a lovely shade of orange. Long shadows are falling through the room, and that’s exactly what Jeongguk was in Jimin’s life the whole time. A shadow hiding behind the truth – a shadow, while Jimin is the sun.

When it’s already dark outside and Jimin still hasn’t come back home, also no message notification on Jeongguk’s phone or any new update on his social media accounts, he guesses Jimin went to Taehyung’s and won’t return tonight. Jeongguk takes the chance to pack a bag with his clothes and some other belongings, leaving only a small note on the table in the living room with his keys to the apartment right next to it. 

Jeongguk isn’t supposed to be here anymore. This is Jimin’s place – he decorated it, he picked up the interiors, it’s uniquely his, so Jeongguk won’t overextend his stay and give Jimin the space he requires. Jeongguk just wishes their last conversation would’ve gone differently. He doesn’t know what he expected Jimin to say, but what he knows is that it hurts more than he expected it to. It’s like someone has ripped out his heart, and maybe that’s what someone should do to him. To end his miserable life full of lies.

But if that is how their shared life ends, then there is nothing he can do about it. For the past eight years Jeongguk has made that decision about their life, he made the conscious decision not to be honest. So when Jimin is now making the decision to leave, then there is nothing he can do but accept it. It won’t change the fact that Jeongguk will wait for him for the rest of his days, because even if he doesn’t want to, there is this small glimpse of hope deep in his heart, he hopes that one day he will get to see Jimin again.

With one last look around, Jeongguk walks out of the apartment and closes the door behind himself, closing the only chapter of his life that made him unconditionally happy, until the very last second.

☽

Jimin feels like crying, but at the same time he doesn’t feel anything.

When he leaves the apartment, he runs out of the house and immediately starts walking towards Taehyung’s house. He doesn’t allow himself a single thought on his way there, because it’s just so stupid. This isn’t real, he is sure. Jeongguk can’t be– No. He’s trapped in a weird dream, for sure.

Later, he will come back home and Jeongguk will apologize for his stupid joke and they will cuddle on the couch like they planned to. Right? Right?

Jimin tries to put the puzzle pieces together, but tries to hold himself back at the same time. Why would he try to make sense of any of this, when it’s all just a fucking joke? There is no way Jeongguk established their neck-rule because he doesn’t know if he can hold himself back. And he totally doesn’t have real fangs, they looked pretty real, but they also do look real in tv shows and movies. Jimin should’ve cut his palm open just to see Jeongguk’s reaction, because there is no way his boyfriend, his Jeongguk, would be someone– something else, right? His Jeongguk is hardworking and kind, always by Jimin’s side. This Jeongguk can’t be a vampire who kills people.

Maybe he isn’t his Jeongguk in the end. Jimin doesn’t know. But for now he needs to be far away from Jeongguk to collect his thoughts. Will they talk about it again? What is Jimin supposed to say? Do they just move on from this? Of course they will! Cause it’s just a stupid joke, right? Right?

Before his thoughts actually take over, Jimin finally arrives at the familiar house and instead of ringing, he knocks at the door like a maniac.

“Jesus, what the– Jimin? Hey, what happened?” Taehyung immediately catches up on the situation just from one look at him, quickly helping Jimin inside. And when they sit down on the couch, when Taehyung wraps his arms around him wordlessly, that’s when Jimin finally starts crying. Taehyung holds him as close as possible and Jimin sobs over the crook of his neck, getting his shirt wet like that. He doesn’t even know why exactly he is crying, but the world feels too heavy on his shoulders at the moment and he hopes that Taehyung might be able to ease the pain just a little.

“It’s okay, you’re safe here,” Taehyung comforts him while caressing his back. Jimin doesn’t know for how long he cries, he doesn’t even notice that Yoongi must have prepared some tea for them that’s now waiting on the table, or that it’s slowly getting dark outside.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Taehyung asks concerned while giving one of the steaming cups of tea to Jimin. He doesn’t even want to know what he looks like right now, red eyes and wet nose from all the crying – but what’s even worse is how it looks inside of him. There is a storm of anger and disappointment, meeting a hurricane of pain and the dreadful fear of his perfect life breaking apart. Jimin doesn’t know what to feel at all, but feeling all of these emotions at once is exhausting for him.

He just sits on the couch, the hot cup of tea is warming his cold hands, but he can’t talk. How could he? How does he tell him what he just saw? What he’s been told? What will Taehyung say? What will happen after tonight?

“I–” Jimin starts, but stops himself immediately, shaking his head, “I don’t know. Am I awake? Can you slap me?”

Confused, Taehyung raises an eyebrow, but gently pinches Jimin’s thigh, making Jimin chuckle sadly. “You seem pretty much awake to me.”

“That’s not what I wanted to hear,” Jimin sighs, tears forming in his eyes again.

“Did something happen between you and Jeongguk? Did you have a fight?”

“He must have told you the secret he was hiding for so long, am I right?” Yoongi suddenly says, and Jimin’s eyes fly over to him. He is leaning against the door of the living room, arms crossed, and black glasses sitting on his nose.

“Did you know? Did he tell you?” Jimin asks, jaw dropping. There is no way Jeongguk told anyone else before him. It can’t be true, Yoongi can’t possibly know about it before he told him.

“No, he just asked me how to tell someone something they kept hidden for so long. How to approach something that might break one’s relationship apart. When he asked me, I thought he was just being overdramatic, because I didn’t think he could be hiding anything that breaks you two apart,” Yoongi says with a sigh, “but now you’re here.”

“We don’t want to force you to tell us what happened, Jimin. Take your time,” Taehyung jumps in, trying to calm Jimin down since he is already on the edge of crying again.

“I don’t even know if I can tell you,” Jimin sobs, debating back and forth with himself. Is it okay for Jeongguk if other people know? Is it possibly dangerous for him? Will Taehyung and Yoongi hate him? Jimin doesn’t want to break the relationship that his friends have with Jeongguk apart, but what is he supposed to do? “Maybe he doesn’t want you two to know.”

“That’s up to you to decide now,” Yoongi says, now coming into the room and sitting down on the other couch across from where Taehyung and Jimin are sitting. “Apparently he didn’t have a problem asking me for help, even though he didn’t tell me what all of this was about. Maybe we can help.”

“I don’t think anyone can help,” Jimin whines, hands grabbing the cup in his hands even closer. Is that why Jeongguk was so clingy in the past days? The reason why he told Jimin so often that he loves him? Was that why he made that promise with Jimin to never run away from him?

Taehyung gives Yoongi a questioning look that Jimin catches in the corner of his eye, and he knows he’s not making sense and his friends can’t help him like that. “I’m sorry for crashing here out of the blue. I just didn’t know where else to go. After Jeongguk told me that… After he said all of that, I just ran away. I didn’t even tell him when I’m coming back. And why am I feeling bad about this? Why is all of this so confusing?” Jimin really wants to be mad, but maybe he isn’t even mad. He is confused and he doesn’t know where to go with his feelings, so he ran away from the situation instead of listening to what Jeongguk might have to say to him.

“You know you can always come here,” Taehyung says, taking the cup of the now cold tea out of his hands to place it on the table. Then he wraps him firmly with the blanket he gave him earlier, taking his face between both of his hands to look him in the eyes. “Whatever is going on, you’re not alone in this.”

You’re not alone in this.

Is Jeongguk alone in this?

Is he the only… vampire around? Does he have people to talk about it? Do vampires have friends?

“I don’t know what to feel, I’m so confused,” Jimin admits, pulling his legs closer so he can rest his chin on his knees. “I don’t know why I ran away. I just… left him because I panicked. Just like that.”

“You need to clear your head, too. Process whatever happened today. You can talk about it tomorrow when both of you have calmed down and know where to go from here,” Yoongi says, and Jimin closes his eyes before he sighs.

“Where do you go from the point when you find out that your boyfriend is a vampire?”

Silence.

“What did you just say?” Yoongi asks, but Jimin doesn’t dare open his eyes to see their reactions. They are probably looking at him the way Jimin looked at Jeongguk, and he doesn’t want to see himself in the reflection of their eyes.

“Jeongguk is a vampire,” Jimin repeats, turning his head to the side so his cheek is now resting on his knees and he’s facing away from his friends. Saying it out loud doesn’t feel as bad as he thought, even though it makes the realization settle in.  Jimin isn’t sure how it makes him feel.

“That’s, uhm… quite something,” Taehyung says after a while, but Jimin only sighs, closing his eyes again. Yeah, it is. “How does this make you feel?”

“I didn’t even believe him and took a knife from the kitchen, about to cut my palm open. You should’ve seen the panic in his eyes,” Jimin whispers, feeling embarrassed about himself now and what he was about to do just mere hours ago. “He let me see his fangs and I panicked. Then I asked him if he had ever killed people. After that I left and came here and I still don’t know how to feel about all of it. How is someone supposed to feel about something like this?”

“So I guess the answer to your question was yes?” Yoongi asks carefully, and Jimin swallows the lump in his throat. 

“He didn’t say anything. It was answer enough.” Jimin’s heart feels like it weighs ten tons. He is disgusted by the thought that his Jeongguk killed innocent people, but at the same time he can only think of him and see doe, kind eyes. How could Jimin never realize what he really was? That his boyfriend killed people before he came home from work and kissed Jimin as if nothing ever happened?

“But that doesn’t mean that he’s killing people like… every day. Maybe in his past? Maybe he changed, like, you know, Stefan Salvatore from Vampire Diaries. He can be feeding on animals to stay alive,” Taehyung says with a shrug, trying to make anything about this situation somehow seem better. Jimin can’t believe they are having this conversation right now, but it’s not like they have any experience with a situation like this so none of them really know what to do or say.

“Yeah, maybe he changed? I mean, I hope he did, but he never seemed aggressive towards any of us, and there also was never news about people dying due to “animal attacks” in the newspapers or on tv. That’s a good sign, isn’t it?” Yoongi continues, and Jimin understands that they are doing their best to tell Jimin, and probably themselves, that Jeongguk isn’t the poster child of a vampire. But none of them knows for sure, and that’s the problem.

“If you ask me, I don’t think this is as much of a problem as it seems,” Yoongi then suddenly adds, and Jimin raises his head, looking at his friend with a shocked expression. “Like, for your relationship. You’ve been a couple for eight years now, and you never even thought that he was  being weird or behaving suspiciously at all, so maybe he is more human than a vampire.”

“This isn’t as much of a problem as it seems? Are you listening to yourself? Jeongguk is a vampire, he killed people,” Jimin rages, because for him it is a big deal that his boyfriend is a killer and lied to him for eight years about who he is. How can Yoongi say that it literally ain’t that deep?

“Jimin, listen,” Yoongi starts, and he’s using that voice which everyone loves so dearly about Yoongi. He has a way to talk to people, to explain things, and to make them understand his or other people’s point of view. Jimin never met anyone like Yoongi in his life, because like Taehyung once said, Yoongi is like a book. He barely shows on the outside how many things he is hiding deep inside of him, but once you start reading through the first pages and once you learn how to read between the lines, it’s a book you’ll carry in your heart forever.

“Look at it from another perspective, because we literally know nothing about vampires, but about you and him. Did Jeongguk ever hurt you? Did you ever feel unsafe around him? You started dating eight years ago, so I’m sure I can say the answer to that is no, right?” he asks, and Jimin nods slowly. Jeongguk never hurt him in any way, not even close to that. “The Jeongguk we got to know is a kind and caring man, none of us ever felt any weird vibes from him and we loved him from the very first second you introduced him to us. I get that this new information is a lot to handle, but it doesn’t change who he is deep inside. He is still Jeongguk, he is still the man that goes to work every day, that cooks dinner for you, and wears your stupid costumes. No front. Do you think the fact that he is a vampire changes who he is? Or what he means to you?”

“It doesn’t matter what he means to me, he will always mean the world to me, but it doesn’t change the fact that he lied to me,” Jimin argues, close to tears again. 

“I mean, introducing himself as a vampire on your first date might have been… a bit too much, maybe?” Taehyung jumps in, and Jimin groans lowly while rolling his eyes. 

“Hiding it for eight years isn’t right either. Why are you on his side anyway?” Jimin doesn’t mean to be moody right now, he’s just overly confused about this whole situation and his feelings. Why does this new piece of information about Jeongguk slowly starts turning from fear into curiosity? He wants to hate Jeongguk for doing horrible things, but it’s like his heart doesn’t follow the arguments of his brain, because the only thing he is longing for is falling back into Jeongguk’s arms and figuring this out. 

“We’re not on his side, we are trying to help you. You’re so mad about the fact that he may have killed people that you’re not seeing the bigger picture,” Yoongi tries again, his voice still calm while Jimin doesn’t even know where to start with all of this.

“What bigger picture is there? He killed people. That’s a fact. What if he had killed Taehyung, huh? Would you see the bigger picture then?” Jimin asks, staring right into Yoongi’s eyes. 

“I have never felt concerned for Taehyung’s safety whenever he was around Jeongguk, or about yours. You’re not giving him enough credit.”

“Credit for what? Being a decent human being and not walking around sucking blood out of people’s necks?” Jimin asks, narrowing his eyes at his friends. He can’t believe they aren’t taking any of his concerns seriously. “I get what you mean, okay? I get it and any of this changes the fact that I love him, that he was nothing but good to me in the past few years, but he’s still who he is.”

“Exactly. Who is he, Jimin? He is still Jeongguk, and I’m sure sharing this with you was really hard on him. That’s probably why he avoided it for as long as possible, because look at you now,” Taehyung says softly, looking at Jimin with sad eyes. “He never wanted to see you like this or make you feel this way about him, I’m sure that’s why he didn’t tell you. I’m not saying that your feelings aren’t valid, because they are. I just want you to understand that what you two have is great and has made you happy for so long, maybe you can talk about it and see if you can make it work. And if not, then that’s okay, too. If you don’t want to see him again, we’re going to help you with that. I just feel like you’re going to regret it if you don’t try.”

“And we can come with you, if you’re afraid of facing him alone,” Yoongi offers, but there is a sudden glimpse in Yoongi’s eyes, as if he already knows that Jimin is everything but afraid of Jeongguk. Maybe he should be. Maybe he was for a split second when he saw his fangs, but Jimin doesn’t actually feel any kind of fear when he’s thinking about Jeongguk or the idea of meeting him. 

Jimin lowers his head again, resting his chin on his knees, silent tears still running down his face. He knows his friends are right and Jeongguk is still the same. He is still the man Jimin met all these years ago and fell in love with right away. He’s still the man who lets Jimin dress him in stupid costumes and pouts when Jimin forgets to bring his favorite snack from the supermarket. The one that worked extra shifts to surprise Jimin with a beautiful vacation to Japan or bought him a silly Mickey Mouse hat at Disneyland.

The one that promised Jimin to spend their whole life together, that said that eternity wasn’t long enough for them. All of these small promises were just lies as well, Jimin now realizes.

Sobbing, Jimin looks up to Taehyung, his lips shaking when he speaks, “He promised to be by my side forever, even though he knew it wasn’t possible.” Jimin breaks down crying again, thick tears streaming down his face. “We made plans for your future together, but for what? We don’t even have a future, because he can’t die and one day I’ll be gone. He surely planned to leave me one day, so I wouldn’t realize he’s not aging.” Jimin sobs heavily, drowning in his own miserable thoughts.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Taehyung says, pulling Jimin closer again, letting him cry against his chest. “I’m sure that wasn’t his plan, and that’s also something you can talk about. You can simply ask him what a future with you looks like for him. I’m sure he will answer you honestly.”

“You’re not even mad at him for lying to you in general,” Yoongi suddenly speaks up, pointing out what Jimin only realized now as well, “You’re mad that he promised you a future that you two can’t have in the way you thought.”

It makes Jimin cry even harder, small hands clawing into the material of Taehyung’s hoodie. “Shh, it’s okay. Let’s go to bed for now, okay? That’s enough,” he suggests, and Jimin nods quietly while his tears slowly dry again. Taehyung helps Jimin up and wraps an arm around his waist, guiding him out of the living room.

“Give it a chance, Jimin,” Yoongi says after him, and Jimin stops again to turn his head around and look at his friend. “Talk to him before you make a final decision.” Jimin stares at him for a while and thinks about Yoongi’s words, but then he nods. He understands that there are many things he doesn’t understand, and Jeongguk is the only one that can explain everything to him, so he should talk to him again. Jimin needs to know what happened, what is it that Jeongguk did or does to survive, and what did Jeongguk actually have planned for their future.

When Jimin is finally in bed and the lights are out, he feels empty. It doesn’t feel right to be apart from Jeongguk and sleep without him by his side, and the thought of this being his life from now on doesn’t sit right with Jimin. Yoongi was right when he said that Jeongguk is still the same, and Jimin’s heart still feels the same for him, but he isn’t sure if this is something they can work out. He is willing to try, because it already hurts just to think about them not being able to make it work. It isn’t Jeongguk’s fault who he is or who turned him into what he is, but Jimin doesn’t know if he can live with this knowledge and the way it makes him feel.

Today, Jeongguk was the strong one and shared his secret with Jimin, no matter the consequences.

Tomorrow, Jimin will be the strong one and approach him again, no matter what it means for their future.

☽

“Do you really not want us to come in with you?” Taehyung asks again when they arrive at the front of Jimin’s and Jeongguk’s apartment complex. Jimin only stares out of the window for a long second, but then shakes his head and unfastens his seatbelt. 

“You said there is nothing to be afraid about, so no,” Jimin says with a firm voice, and then looks at Taehyung for one last time, before he opens the passenger side’s door and slowly slips out of the car. His body has been feeling heavy throughout the whole morning. It feels like every step is exhausting for him, but he drags himself through it, because there is no way he and Jeongguk can end things like that. Maybe things will end today, but the thought alone makes Jimin’s stomach turn.

He barely slept last night, his head racing with  thousands of various thoughts about the things Jeongguk and his friends said. Jimin still isn’t sure what to think of the whole situation, but there is one feeling he can’t really seem to shake off – curiosity.

There are many things he wants to know, all kinds of questions he wants to ask, and he hates himself for always being so curious about everything, but that’s just who he is. Jimin knows he can’t move on with all the question marks lingering in his head, but at the same time getting those answers is scary for him.

Does he feel different about Jeongguk? Maybe the answer should be yes. Maybe on the surface Jimin was a little scared, or even terrified when he saw his sharp teeth, but deep down he knows he isn’t afraid of Jeongguk at all. Eight years of spending each day with each other has a bigger impact than the information Jeongguk dropped just yesterday, so Jimin feels like a fool for leaving Jeongguk just like that. It was too much and he needed to sort out his thoughts and maybe Jeongguk had to do the same, so today they can have somewhat of a civil conversation about Jeongguk being a supernatural being.

“Call me if you need anything, I’ll come right away,” Taehyung offers, and Jimin nods at him. He slams the door shut and takes one last deep breath before he walks along the all too familiar way towards their apartment.

Jimin isn’t sure what exactly to say when he comes home. Should he apologize? Is Jeongguk even home? Where might he possibly be if not? Maybe Jimin should’ve texted him before to tell Jeongguk he is coming home now. Is Jeongguk waiting at home the same way Jimin was waiting for him that night? Is he worried because Jimin didn’t come home last night? Now Jimin feels guilty in the worst way possible, loading even more bad feelings onto Jeongguk’s shoulders by not informing him where he went.

Jimin is someone who easily catches up on people’s moods and emotions, always the first one to understand everyone and where they come from with their feelings. Last night made him realize that it must have been so hard for Jeongguk to open up and Jimin gave him nothing but a disgusted look, because the only thing he asked him was if he killed people. It was literally his first question and it must have seemed like Jimin wanted to make Jeongguk feel even worse about himself. Jimin probably made all of Jeongguk’s fears come to life when he left like that yesterday.

With shaking fingers, Jimin opens the door to their apartment and is greeted with silence. There is no sound of the tv or music anywhere, so Jimin slowly walks further inside, looking around. He's cautious as if it’s not even his own apartment, but he doesn’t want to scare Jeongguk when he comes waltzing in here like a truck. 

“Jeongguk?” Jimin asks shyly, fingers playing with the keys in his hands to cover his nervousness. He walks through the hallway and the living room, but Jeongguk isn’t on the couch. He also isn’t in the kitchen and there’s no trace of him being here at all today. With a weird feeling pooling in his stomach, Jimin goes to the bedroom, but finds it empty as well. The blankets are neatly made so Jimin gets closer and touches the ones on Jeongguk’s side, just to find them cold. It’s only in the early morning, so either Jeongguk left really early, or he wasn’t here last night.

Slowly, panic begins to spread over Jimin’s body, his head racing with what to do now. He decides to go back to the living room – he can sit down there and wait for Jeongguk. He must come back home at some point, so Jimin will be here, waiting. When Jimin approaches the couch, a small piece of paper on the table catches his attention. With furrowed eyebrows he gets closer and picks it up, only now noticing the keys to their apartment next to it. Jimin’s heart sinks into his stomach.

“You made eight years feel like eternity.
Your love was the greatest gift I ever received,
and the one I never deserved.”

Jimin gasps out loud, his heart starting to hurt when he reads the lines over and over again. He looks back and forth between the note and the keys, not believing that Jeongguk decided to leave. Jimin couldn’t control his emotions yesterday and it resulted in Jeongguk leaving their shared life completely. 

The tears immediately start falling from Jimin’s eyes, hot and thick, making it hard to breathe.

Jimin stumbles backwards and sits down on the couch, trying to catch his breath, but he can’t do anything but cry when he reads the words on the paper, in Jeongguk’s unique handwriting.

With shaking fingers, Jimin reaches for his phone and checks if he really didn’t receive any message from Jeongguk to inform him about his whereabouts – he didn’t. With panic crawling up his spine, Jimin dials Jeongguk’s number, something he should’ve done much earlier, and suddenly he hears another phone ringing in the bedroom. His own phone in his hand, Jimin jumps up and runs towards the source of the noise, only to find Jeongguk’s phone resting on the nightstand next to their bed.

Defeated, Jimin hangs up and brushes through his own hair, frantic. This can’t be happening. There is no way this is happening, right? How did their life change like that in the span of not even twenty-four hours? Jimin walks up and down, before he decides to rush over to the nightstand and pick up Jeongguk’s phone. Of course he knows his code (it’s Jimin’s birthday ever since they started dating) and unlocks it quickly. He isn’t sure what he is looking for, so he searches through any folder.

They never had a reason to hide their phones from each other, both pretty early in their relationship just shrugging it off when the other needed to use their phone for whatever reason. On some evening they were on the couch and Jeongguk scrolled through his camera roll with Jimin, showing him pictures he took at work, in the forest during his lunch break walks, or of the early sunrise when Jimin was still asleep (and of every cat he ever passed by outside, just because he knew Jimin could smile at them like a maniac.)

Jimin doesn’t find anything helpful in the photos or videos folder, so he opens Jeongguk’s Whatsapp. He knows Jeongguk doesn’t text with many people, so he isn’t surprised to find only six chats, one of them being their own, another one with Taehyung, Yoongi, a group chat from his work, his boss, and another colleague. Jimin doesn’t know if Jeongguk usually deletes chats he has with other people – vampires? But he doesn’t have time to dwell on it now.

He finds nothing helpful on Jeongguk’s phone, and scrolling through his contacts to maybe call one of them, doesn’t help either, so he gives up and calls Taehyung instead. Jimin’s eyes are still watery due to his tears, and after finding nothing that helps him find Jeongguk, he can’t help but sob out loud again.

“Minnie? Is everything okay?” Taehyung asks worriedly when he picks up immediately as if he was camping on his phone, waiting for Jimin’s call.

“He left,” Jimin cries, sinking onto the carpet in their bedroom. Angrily, he pulls on his own hair, internally slapping himself for being such an idiot.

“What? Where did he go?”

“I– I don’t know. He wasn’t here when I a-arrived, but he left his k-keys for the apartment. He won’t come back, T-Tae,” Jimin whimpers, trying to hold himself together, but it’s barely working. He thought they could talk about it, maybe make it work, but he never imagined that it would end like that, and the worst part is that it’s Jimin’s own fault because he left like a damn scaredy-cat. Instead of solving the problem right away, like they always do, he ran away. Now Jeongguk ran away, too.

“Okay, breathe, Minnie,” is the first thing Taehyung says, and for what feels like a whole hour, they try breathing together to calm Jimin down. “I’m already on my way. I’m back in five minutes, okay? We got this, we will find him.”

“What if we don’t? It’s my fault, because I’m such an idiot,” Jimin whines, hand pressed flat against his forehead while he still sits on the carpet in their bedroom.

“It’s not. Don’t blame yourself and remember what you once told me – it’s not you two against each other, it’s you two against the problem. And we’ll solve this problem, okay?”

“He hates me, because he thinks I don’t accept him the way he is,” Jimin goes on, the final thought now sinking in, it is too late. “How could I ever think I wouldn’t be able to accept him as he is? How could I think that something like that would be an obstacle for us?”

“Your fear was valid, too. It’s not easy to hear what you heard, and I’m sure Jeongguk knew about it, too. He probably didn’t expect you to react all happy and jump into his arms,” Taehyung argues, but Jimin only blames himself right now, because if he had only reacted differently, Jeongguk would still be here. Or at least, he’d still be in Jimin’s life. Now he disappeared and Jimin doesn’t know if he’ll see him ever again, because he can’t even call him. It also makes Jimin slowly realize that that’s probably why he barely knew anything about Jeongguk’s friends or past, because he couldn’t tell him, too afraid Jimin might find out his secret. But does he have vampire friends? Is someone he once met a vampire, or does Jeongguk stay away from other vampires all together? Jimin has so many questions, but most of all, he wants an answer to the question: where is Jeongguk right now?

“I’m here, open the door.”

Jimin hangs up with a sigh and gets to his feet with a groan, walking towards the entrance door to let Taehyung in. Taehyung immediately pulls him into a hug, and Jimin inhales his comforting scent, closing his eyes to enjoy the closeness.

“We’ll find him,” Taehyung whispers against his hair before he places a peck on Jimin’s forehead, smiling at him reassuringly, before he takes off his jacket and shoes.

Jimin only nods and sits down on the couch with Taehyung, putting his and Jeongguk’s phone on the table next to the note and the keys. He feels the lump build in his throat again, tears daring to fall over his cheeks, but he shakily inhales and holds himself together.

“This is all we have?” Taehyung asks, and Jimin nods, shoving his hands between his thighs to stop them from shaking.

“I checked his phone, but couldn’t find anything helpful either,” he sighs, feeling exhausted all over.

“You don’t always have to stare at me, you know? I won’t run away.”

“Promise? You’ll never run away from me?”

Jeongguk made him promise, but Jimin was the first one to run away from him. Jimin now understands why Jeongguk made him promise it during their last night together, because he was afraid of Jimin leaving him. And Jimin did. He left. He ran away. And therefore Jeongguk left, because Jimin couldn’t even keep that small promise of staying with him, no matter what.

“Can I see his phone? Maybe I can find something,” Taehyung suggests, and Jimin nods, unlocking the phone before handing it to Taehyung. “There aren’t any… spicy things on here, right?” Taehyung snickers, and Jimin turns bright red at the question, shrugging.

“Can’t promise,” Jimin giggles, and he feels so grateful for Taehyung being by his side. With him, Jimin already feels a lot lighter.

Taehyung keeps searching through the phone in silence, only a “hm” or “oh” coming from him sometimes (and a very knowing look when he turns the phone to Jimin and the screen shows a picture of Jeongguk’s hand resting on Jimin’s ass.)

“It’s a great ass, what do you expect?” Jimin sniffs, trying to light himself up a little. Internally, he feels like crying due to the simple fact that he might never feel Jeongguk’s touch on his body at all ever again.

“Okay, I think I know where to go,” Taehyung suddenly says, and Jimin’s eyes widen comically, staring at his friend as if he just solved the Da Vinci Code. “Look.” Taehyung shows Jimin various pictures of the forest, and Jimin raises his eyebrow, not really understanding. “Jimin, he is a vampire. And if our theory is right, then he might be hunting animals. Where else would he do that besides the forest?”

“But that doesn’t mean he is there right now. What is he supposed to do there? Sleep on the cold ground?” Jimin hates the feeling he gets after the last question leaves his lips. What if Jeongguk actually spent the night outside? He would go to a hotel, right? He wouldn’t stay outside.

“No, of course not, but look here,” Taehyung goes on, “These pictures are from the forest close to the city. You can see the location where they were taken, see? And these pictures,” Taehyung keeps swiping, “are from a different forest, not far from here. He went there before, always to the same location.” Taehyung points at the top of the picture, revealing the place they were taken at. “Maybe someone he knows lives there.”

“Wait, that date… it’s when Jeongguk left that night,” Jimin suddenly realizes. “Why did he go so far away? He wasn’t even gone for that long, it’s at least a two hour drive.”

“Well,” Taehyung smirks, “he is a vampire. They are pretty fast, for as much as I know. But! The thing is, maybe he has a friend there? Maybe he went there, too, after that night, seeking some advice?”

“I want to kiss your brain,” Jimin gasps, leaning over and smacking a peck on Taehyung’s cheek, “Let’s go there. Now. Come on!”

It takes barely ten minutes for the two men to find themselves in Taehyung’s car, wrapped in thick jackets – a variety of scarfs, beanies, and gloves in the trunk – the location of the forest in the navigation system, and then driving off. During the drive, Taehyung calls Yoongi and they explain the situation, sharing their own location to Yoongi just in case. They watched enough horror movies to know that, seemingly next to vampires, a lot of other dangerous things can lurk in the forest.

“I hope the location on the phone is accurate. The forest is pretty huge and we don’t even know what to look for exactly,” Jimin sighs, leaning his head against the cold window. 

“Well, a house, probably? Somewhere hidden in the forest?”

“When someone has a house in the forest they probably don’t want to be found, so I’m pretty sure it’s not that easy to find,” Jimin huffs, and he feels how tense his whole body is. The cold outside doesn’t make it any easier, making Jimin feel cold on the inside, too, but it’s mostly the fear of not finding Jeongguk that paralyzes him.

Slowly, Jimin’s eyes fall shut due to barely sleeping last night and all the hassle he’s been through today, the calming sound of faint music and the car lulling him to sleep. 

When Jimin wakes up again, he is faced with huge trees and the whole landscape covered in a thin layer of snow. He is wide awake in seconds, eyes widening at the view. He loves snow so much and he didn’t expect to see any so early, in the beginning of November, but they drove far away from the city and up the mountains, so he should’ve expected it. It warms his heart a little, because winter with Jeongguk was always Jimin’s favorite time of the year, right after Halloween of course. They would always make cookies (well, Jimin made them and Jeongguk ate the dough), watched various christmas movies after their long days of work, and cuddled comfortably under their blanket, Jeongguk holding him as close as possible to make sure Jimin was always warm.

“We’re here. This is the closest we can get by car,” Taehyung announces, and he drives onto a small parking space where some other cars are parked. There are various benches and maps around, probably for people who like to go hiking here. Jimin isn’t the biggest fan of hiking, but if it means finding Jeongguk, he’d climb the highest mountain.

Eager, with his goal in mind, Jimin jumps out of the SUV and hears the scrunching sound of snow under his heavy boots. Jimin plays around a little, enjoying the first snow of the year, but hating the fact that Jeongguk is not by his side. He’s going to find him, no matter what, and then it still counts as experiencing the first snow together, right?

Both men get around the car and towards the trunk, slipping on a warm beanie and thick gloves. They probably are the worst prepared hikers this forest has ever seen, but they needed to act fast. So with nothing but a small backpack filled with snacks and hot tea, their phones in their hands, and the sound of snow underneath their shoes, they start making their way into the forest. At first, they follow the regular, signposted trails, even meeting a few other people on their way.

Soon enough, they realize that they have to leave the trail and walk deeper into the forest to get closer to their destination. The location on the phone wasn’t a hundred percent accurate, so they hope to be lucky and find the house by accident. In the end, there is nothing else they can do, but Jimin is happy enough that he isn’t on his own right now.

“This is like the beginning of a very shitty horror movie,” Taehyung says while they make their way through the trees, trying to get closer to the point on their maps. “Two handsome men walking through the forest, all alone and vulnerable, getting attacked by vampires. That would get at least a 5.5 rating on IMDb.”

“5.5, you wish. This is like the worst storyline I have ever heard,” Jimin snorts, walking close behind Taehyung. He keeps watching the ground to not stumble over, the thin layer of snow luckily not hiding too much. He really doesn’t need to stumble and break an ankle here just to prove Taehyung’s horror movie theory.

“It would be based on true events, people love that. Hey! You should film everything. If we die, they have the footage on the camera and can put it into an actual movie,” Taehyung goes on, and Jimin nearly stumbles since he has to laugh so hard.

“The only thing they’d see is you being an absolute idiot,” Jimin snorts, and Taehyung turns around to him, pretending to be offended.

“I literally just drove into a forest to look for your vampire boyfriend, which sorry, already the weirdest thing I have ever done, and then I get insulted? I should have let you come alone.” 

“I’m sure the roleplay things you do with Yoongi are way far weirder than that,” Jimin laughs, slapping Taehyung’s shoulder.

“Just two days ago I was getting fucked seven ways to Sunday and now I’m in a forest with you, tell me again what’s the weirder thing out of these two, I dare you.” Taehyung raises his eyebrow at Jimin, but Jimin only shoves him forward, making him watch his way instead.

Jimin isn’t even sure for how long they keep walking, the small dot on the phone map seems to never get closer, and his legs start hurting from walking on the uneven ground. Normally, Jimin would be the first one to complain about being exhausted and wanting to go home, but he hopes that each step he takes, takes him one step closer to Jeongguk, and that’s the thought that keeps him going.

After what feels like ages and hundreds of kilometers of walking, they finally arrive at the area where the location of Jeongguk’s photo led them. They both stand on the huge glade, giving them a beautiful view over the snow covered landscape and the high trees around them. Jimin takes in his surroundings, the sun throwing long shadows of the trees and the snow sparkling in the sunbeams. It almost looks like something from a movie, and Jimin inhales deeply, taking a second of silence.

He really hopes Jeongguk is here and deep down he can feel like they are close. Maybe Jimin is imagining things or maybe he just wants it to be true, but he’s trusting his feelings so he is able to see Jeongguk again soon.

“Okay now, uhm,” Taehyung starts, turning around a few times, “I have no idea where we should go. I didn’t really have anything else planned after arriving here.” Jimin looks at him and their eyes meet, both looking kind of lost, but Jimin only shrugs. 

“Which direction looks like someone might be living there?”

“Uhm, every direction looks the same, Jimin. I couldn’t even tell you where we came from if it wasn’t for our footsteps,” Taehyung chuckles, sniffling. The cold reddened his cheeks and nose, and Jimin would coo at the sight if they weren’t in the middle of nowhere. “We don’t have that much time to check out every direction, because the sun will set in around four hours. We should start walking back soon enough.”

“Then let’s just go here,” Jimin points towards a random direction, and starts walking. He is sure that the place they are looking for must be somewhere here, it must be. Jimin would not know what to do if they don’t find anything, so he keeps holding onto that thought.

The cracking sound of branches around them echoes through the forest here and there, adding to the sounds of their shoes and breathing. They even spot a deer in the distance and Jimin’s heart feels full at the view of the animal. Deers always remind Jimin of Jeongguk, because they have such similar eyes.

Jimin is lost in his own thoughts, still debating with himself what to say in case they find Jeongguk, when Taehyung suddenly stops and Jimin crashes against his back. “Did you hear that?” 

“What?” Jimin is confused and looks around before he follows the direction Taehyung is looking at, but finds nothing but trees.

“There was a sound, like a growl,” Taehyung whispers, still not moving a single muscle.

“Maybe a wolf?” Jimin asks, goosebumps rising over his skin. “Lets just keep going then and get some distance between them and us.” Jimin grabs Taehyung’s sleeve and drags him further, but Taehyung still keeps looking back in the same direction, even when they keep walking.

They don’t talk anymore and maybe it’s better like that. Like that, no one can hear them and they don’t alert animals in the distance. The least Jimin needs is facing a damn wolf.

And then he hears it, too. A low growl that makes the blood in Jimin’s veins freeze. He stops dead in his tracks and reaches for Taehyung again who heard the sound too.

“What is that?” Jimin whispers, too afraid to move and make any other noise. He slowly looks around and tries to find the source of the sound, but everything falls silent again. Then they hear it again, way closer than before. It didn’t even really sound like a wolf, more like a… hiss? Jimin’s hand claws into Taehyung’s jacket and they both look around, trying to make out the source of the sound, but they can’t see anything but trees.

“We should go back,” Taehyung murmurs, and slowly takes some steps backwards, his eyes still scanning their surroundings.

“No! Jeongguk must be somewhere around here, I know it. We can’t leave,” Jimin nearly begs, trying to make Taehyung stay. He feels his own heart pounding in his chest and the adrenaline pumping through his veins, the fear of what they heard falling over his body, but they are so close. Jimin can’t leave just yet. He needs to find Jeongguk.

“Jimin, we can’t find him if we’re dead,” Taehyung says dead serious, grabbing Jimin’s hand and pulling him with him.

“Maybe it’s Jeongguk!” Jimin exclaims. The mixture of panic and hope makes him rip his hand out of Taehyung’s grasp. “Jeongguk? Jeongguk!” Jimin yells out loud, but Taehyung is quick to cover his mouth, holding Jimin back, preventing him from shouting even more.

“Are you fucking insane? Be quiet! Didn’t you watch enough horror movies, you fool?” Taehyung hisses, still keeping his hand pressed to Jimin’s mouth to keep him quiet. Jimin tries to fight his way out of his hold, but Taehyung is stronger than him and he can’t escape.

Suddenly, Jimin spots a shadow hushing past some trees not even twenty meters away from them. His heart skips at least two beats and his finger points towards the direction, trying to make Taehyung understand that he saw something. Slowly, Taehyung lets go of him and pulls him into the other direction of the shadow again, walking backwards to keep their eyes on whatever they saw.

“Let us go, ” Taehyung insists, and Jimin knows it’s not fair to get them into an even more dangerous situation just because he is stubborn.

Slowly, they take step after step, bringing more distance between them and the spot where they saw something weird, until the sound comes right from behind them.

A low hiss, barely audible, but so close that Jimin knows someone, something, must be right behind them. His body tenses up and he nearly breaks Taehyung’s hand by how hard he holds onto him. The forest is quiet now, only their breaths audible, sounding so loud to them right now.

Jimin is glued to the spot, but then he hears slow steps coming closer from behind them. He doesn’t dare to move at all, because if he hears footsteps, it must be another human, right? No wolf, no monster, nothing else. Just another hiker. Slowly, as if in slow motion, Jimin’s body starts turning around without his permission. He isn’t ready to face whatever just hissed at them, already counting the seconds until he might die, when he’s met with burning red eyes.

“Hello.”

The man stands maybe a meter away from them, hands behind his back, only looking at them. Jimin feels his heart nearly jumping out of his ribcage.

“H-Hello,” Jimin says in return, swallowing heavily. He can’t tear his eyes away from the burning red of the man’s eyes, and it reminds him of this one night with Jeongguk, when he left. Jimin saw some red flash over his eyes, too, but blamed it on the Halloween lights he put up. 

The realization hits immediately.

“You’re a vampire,” Jimin says out loud before he can hold himself back. The vampire’s mouth turns into an amused smile and Jimin feels like a prey when their eyes meet again. Are those the last eyes he will see before he dies?

“So, you’re aware of our species. That makes sense now. Is that why you’re looking for Jeongguk?” the vampire asks, nearly bringing Jimin to tears. “I heard you yelling for him. You disturbed my hunt.”

“I– I’m so sorry. I am looking for him, do you happen to know him, maybe?” Jimin asks, the fear of the creature in front of him suddenly disappearing at the sound of Jeongguk’s name. He doesn’t know this man or if he really knows Jeongguk – maybe he is just a random vampire and uses Jimin’s naivety to his advantage, but that’s nothing Jimin cares about right now. All he sees in front of him is a chance to find Jeongguk again.

“What if I do? What do I get in return for that information?” The man comes a step closer, eyes still focusing on Jimin. Jimin feels like backing away, everything in his body screams for him to move, but he can’t. Only Taehyung makes a step to the side so he covers Jimin partly, standing in the way of the vampire and Jimin. The vampire only cocks his head and with a swift movement of his hand Taehyung is suddenly ripped away from Jimin’s side, flying across the ground and slithering through the snow until he stops with a low groan.

“Tae!” Jimin yells, about to make his way towards his friend, but the vampire holds him back with a simple click of his tongue, making Jimin stay in place. Jimin turns back, facing the man with piercing red eyes, and his jaw clenches.

“Tell me, little human. What do I get in return?” He makes another step towards Jimin, only one step away from him now. Like this Jimin can see every feature of his face – beautiful, perfect skin and round eyes, black ruffled hair covering his forehead partly. And the sharp fangs that show a glimpse of themselves when the vampire speaks.

There are barely any emotions visible in his expression, but somehow Jimin doesn’t really know if he should be afraid. What if Jeongguk can see him right now? What if he sees how afraid he is and thinks Jimin is afraid of him, too? What if it’s a test to see Jimin’s reaction? He can’t lose Jeongguk, so he tries to collect himself and looks back at the vampire with a challenging look, body tense.

“What do you want?” Jimin asks in return, voice more stable than he thought, since he is shaking like a leaf on the inside.

“Hm,” the vampire says with a smirk now, his eyes scanning Jimin up and down, “You’d make such a pretty vampire yourself, do you know that? Eternity would suit a pretty face like yours, don’t you think?”

Jimin doesn’t even know how to answer. Not even twenty-four hours ago he heard of the existence of vampires for the first time and now he is standing right in front of one, literally being offered immortality. Jimin doesn’t know anything about vampires, missing his only chance to ask about them when Jeongguk was still there, but now he’s left on his own.

“Tell me where Jeongguk is,” Jimin says instead of answering the question, trying to pretend that he isn’t the weaker one between the two of them. Fierce eyes are following every movement of the vampire who still looks at Jimin with a hint of amusement in his burning red eyes.

“You’re brave. I understand why Jeongguk likes you so much, Jimin.” By the sound of his name Jimin’s eyes get wide, staring at the vampire in disbelief. He might have overheard it when Taehyung said it, no? Or does he really know Jeongguk? Does that mean Jeongguk talks about him? Is this vampire a friend of Jeongguk? “Oh, don’t give me that look! Did you really think I don’t know who you are?”

“I– I don’t–” Jimin starts, not sure what to answer. He isn’t even sure what to think of the man in front of him. He is intimidating, of course he is, and he also hurt Taehyung. How can this man be a friend of Jeongguk? Is that who Jeongguk really is? A brutal vampire, hunting hikers in the forest where nobody finds out about the existence of vampires? That thought makes Jimin feel sick to his stomach.

“Oh? Not so brave anymore, Jimin?” The man jokes and starts walking around Jimin, and Jimin is still glued to the ground, not moving an inch since he is afraid one wrong step might cost him his life. “Well, are you brave enough to follow me? Maybe I can show you where Jeongguk is.”

“Why can’t you just tell me?” Jimin asks back, slowly getting angry. He came all the way here to find Jeongguk, only to find another arrogant vampire that is slowly destroying every good thing that Jimin made up in his mind about vampires. He tried his hardest to make himself believe that Jeongguk isn’t like they portray them in movies, but if this creature is one of his friends, then Jimin is slowly losing all his hope.

“Where is the fun in that? It’s your decision. If you want to find him, follow me. If not, keep wandering around, trying to find a house made to be impossible to find,” the vampire says with a challenging expression, and Jimin balls his fists, anger filling him over. He knows he can’t possibly fight a vampire, but damn does he feel like punching this man’s face right now. Only a small groan coming from next to him shakes him out of the thought, head turning around to find Taehyung slowly sitting up. Immediately, Jimin runs over to him and crouches down, placing his hands on his face.

“Tae, hey, are you okay?” Jimin’s eyes look him up and down, checking for any injuries, but he can’t find anything like that.

“My back hurts, I’m definitely too old for this shit,” Taehyung groans, and Jimin helps him up, brushing the snow off of his clothes. 

“I like him, he is funny,” the vampire joins in, still standing where he was before. His arms are crossed right now, looking at both men with a satisfied grin.

“Funny enough to make me kiss the ground, I see,” Taehyung groans, and Jimin gives him a warning look. Jimin knows that Taehyung is bold, he always is to a point to where Jimin sometimes wishes he could disappear into the ground, but being like that while facing a vampire might not be the smartest thing.

“Sounds like you’d rather kiss something else?” Jimin only looks back and forth between them, not believing his own ears.

“Yeah, my very loving and beautiful boyfriend at home.”

“Ouch, that hurt me,” the vampire chuckles, holding a hand above where his heart is, and it’s the first time Jimin sees him show an actual smile. He feels like he is the one that fell and hurt his head, because what the fuck is going on right now? “Now come. I won’t ask twice. Being nice doesn’t normally suit me.”

Jimin probably stares at the vampire as if he’s just seen a shark fighting with a bear, his jaw still open when the vampire starts walking into the forest. Taehyung shakes him out of it again when he starts moving too, groaning again and holding his back.

“The amount of Vanilla Latte you owe me for this, you have no idea,” Taehyung sighs before he follows the steps of the vampire without even questioning anything. Jimin will never hear the end of it. Having no other choice, Jimin follows behind them as well, and the sun slowly starts setting during their walk.

By the time it gets nearly dark, Jimin actually spots a house between the thick branches of the dark trees. No, cut that. He sees a mansion.

“I forgot how slowly humans walk. I have died three times by the time we arrived here,” the vampire huffs when walking up the stairs to the front door, but Jimin doesn’t even really pay attention. His eyes are captured by the impressive house, the shape of its dark front and its various forms. Peaked, black roofs cover the dark house and faint light falls through the black framed windows. Some kind of archway leads to the garden of which Jimin only catches a glimpse since it’s so dark already. His architect’s heart is racing, but every breath gets stuck inside of him when they enter the house through the heavy wooden door.

Impressive chandeliers decorate the high ceilings, old portraits are covering the walls, and a huge carpet follows the long lobby. Jimin gasps out loud and it makes the vampire in front of him chuckle. At this moment, Jimin isn’t even aware of the fact that they just followed a stranger into his home, a vampire on top of that. Their horror movie is filled with all possible cliches, they’d never get a 5.5 rating. 3.5, max.

“Are you dressed? We have visitors!” The vampire’s voice echoes through the huge house, and suddenly Jimin remembers why they are here. He is still standing in the entrance hall, nervously playing with his own hands, while Taehyung is already studying all the artwork up on the walls. Is he really going to see Jeongguk? Is Jeongguk here? Is this where he plans to stay from now on? Did he live here before?

“Don’t tell me you brought someone home again! I told you I don’t want to see your disgusting way of living, hyung!”

Jimin’s heart stops beating at the sound of Jeongguk’s voice. Then the words are followed by steps down the staircase, and suddenly Jimin’s heart beats twice as fast. 

“I brought something just for you,” the other man adds with a laugh, and another groan comes from the stairs. The steps come closer and closer and Jimin forgets how to breathe. “I found it wandering around the forest, all alone.”

“What are you even–” Jeongguk stops talking the second his eyes fall on Jimin still standing in the hallway. Jimin feels like passing out and time seems to stop, and it seems like Jeongguk feels the same. He is just standing at the feet of the staircase, hand holding onto the handrail for dear life. “Jimin.”

Jimin opens and closes his mouth, not a single word leaving his lips. He gasps for air, but all that happens is hot tears streaming down his face. He tries to wipe them away as quickly as possible, but it doesn’t help at all. He just stands there, crying, and he wishes Jeongguk would finally come towards him and pull him into his arms. Jimin had such a long day, wandering around a damn forest to finally find him, and now he wants nothing more than to forget for a second the situation they are in. He just wants Jeongguk to hold him close and cry into his shoulder until all the tension finally falls  from his shoulders.

But Jeongguk doesn’t come. He is still standing at the staircase, staring at Jimin as if he has seen a ghost.

“Jimin, why are you here?” That’s his first question? That’s what he says after Jimin came all the way to find him in a house not made to be found? That’s it?

“I–” Jimin starts, exhaustion and confusion slowly creating a dangerous mixture, “I came here for you! You just left without a word!”

“I thought you wanted me gone when you left last night,” Jeongguk says, voice slightly shaking.

“No, you dumbass! I just– I was confused, okay? But you… Don’t do that! Don’t leave your fucking keys on the table and say you didn’t deserve any of it!” Jimin hears himself yell, but it’s not like he is mad. He is frustrated about their situation, he hates himself for leaving first, and he wants to punch Jeongguk for leaving, too. But at the same time he wants to run into his arms and kiss him silly, because Jeongguk is here. He is alright, and what more could Jimin ask for?

“I never wanted this to happen, that’s why I never told you. Look where we are now, I never wanted this for us,” Jeongguk explains, still keeping his safe distance, and Jimin hates it. He hates how distant they are, not just physically, but emotionally. He hates them having this conversation now, but he knows he caused all of this with his reaction yesterday.

“I’m not afraid of you,” Jimin says out of the blue, and he can see Jeongguk’s eyes widen. “You said you were afraid of me being afraid, but I’m not. You don’t have to keep your distance, not yesterday, and not today.” Jimin makes one step towards Jeongguk, proving his point. He wants to run towards him, but he needs Jeongguk to make one step towards him, too. Metaphorically and physically.

“You were disgusted by me and I get that. You don’t have to… pretend that it’s okay. I’m sorry for leaving like that. I thought you wouldn’t come home when I’m there, and I wanted that place to be your home, so I came here.” Jeongguk sounds exhausted, too. Jimin sees it and hears it, and he wishes he could make Jeongguk understand that any of that matters right now. Not what he is, how old he is, what he’s feeding on. Right now, he is just relieved to see him.

“I am where my home is, Jeongguk,” Jimin whispers, but hopes that Jeongguk still catches it. He feels another tear run down his face, not caring about wiping it away. In the blink of an eye, Jeongguk stands in front of him and Jimin gasps out loud when he feels his arm around his waist, pulling him close. Jimin’s eyes flutter up to Jeongguk’s, taking in the warmth of his orbs. Jeongguk’s eyebrows are furrowed when he slowly reaches up and wipes the tear from Jimin’s cheek.

“Don’t cry, please,” Jeongguk whimpers, voice breaking at the end. “I can’t see you cry.”

“Then don’t leave me standing in this hallway for ages instead of coming to hug me!” Jimin sobs, and Jeongguk smiles at him before putting his hand on the back of Jimin’s head and pulling him against his chest, hugging him properly. Jimin’s arms immediately sneak around him and cross on Jeongguk’s back, sobbing against Jeongguk’s shoulder. Jimin cries like he cried earlier this morning when he found the note, but this time he feels the panic and fear slowly leaving his body. Hugging Jeongguk, feeling him, smelling him does the trick and Jimin could fall asleep in his arms right now.

“Are you cold? You must be freezing,” Jeongguk then says, taking Jimin’s hand and guiding him towards the living room where the other vampire sits on a huge armchair. He doesn’t spare the two of them a glance, and Jimin’s eyes wander around the huge room. There is a fireplace inside, warm flames flickering in it. They disappear around another corner where Jeongguk helps Jimin out of his clothes and is quick to get him a pair of his own sweatpants and a hoodie which he can change into.

“I’m here, too, just in case someone forgot me,” Taehyung huffs while walking into the living room as well, and the vampire on the chair is up on his feet in seconds, another pair of sweatpants and a hoodie in his hands, offering it to Taehyung. Jimin sees Jeongguk watching the scene in front of them as well, both of them raising an eyebrow.

“I would never forget you, Taehyung,” he says, gesturing towards another room to give Taehyung some privacy to change into more comfortable clothes as well.

“Jin hyung, he is taken,” Jeongguk throws in, and the vampire turns his head to look at him, piercing red eyes glimmering in the dim light.

“I know he is. Doesn’t mean I can’t try changing his mind,” he winks, “He only knows vampires like you, wait until he knows me.” Jin then leaves the room as well, probably following where Taehyung went to change his clothes. Jimin might not fully trust Jin yet, but he trusts Taehyung. Apparently his friend does have some magic effect on the vampire, so he trusts Taehyung being able to handle the situation pretty well on his own.

“I– I’m so sorry for him, he is– uhm–” Jeongguk starts, apologetic eyes looking at Jimin. They both settle down in front of the fire and Jeongguk gives him some blankets so his body can warm up again. Jimin only hums, eyes focused on the flames in front of him. Suddenly, his mind feels so empty. There are no thoughts screaming at him, no confusion, no anger. Right now, Jimin simply feels okay just by having Jeongguk next to him.

“Is he your friend?”

“Yeah, kind of. I mean, we are friends, but we don’t share many similarities, so we don’t hang out all the time. Not like you and Taehyung for example,” Jeongguk answers honestly, and Jimin can hear the nervousness in his voice. The talk they are about to have is inevitable, but Jimin doesn’t know how to really approach it. He still doesn’t know how he feels about it, so what is he going to say when Jeongguk asks him about their future?

“He is mean,” Jimin then says, and his comment makes Jeongguk laugh. “He scared us in the forest. I thought we were going to die.” Now that makes Jeongguk’s laugh fall again, concern written all over his face.

“I’m sorry. He probably thought it was funny,” Jeongguk apologizes again, “But I’m happy he found you. It’s dangerous out there. I didn’t think you’d ever come here looking for me.”

“I didn’t even know if you were really here. We just searched through your phone to find any hints and Taehyung found various pictures taken here, so we just… drove here, hoping for the best.” Jimin curls deeper into the blanket, trying to soak in the warmth to heat his body up after so many hours outside. Jeongguk sits next to him, legs bend and arms wrapped around them, staring at the fire as well.

“You found me.”

“I found you,” Jimin says, turning his head around, and he catches Jeongguk already looking at him. “Even though we promised not to run away.”

“I’m sorry for running away,” Jeongguk sighs, a painful expression on his face.

“I ran away first. You must have felt horrible.”

“I can’t say I didn’t see it coming,” Jeongguk sighs, avoiding Jimin’s eyes now. “I pictured many outcomes, and it always ended with you leaving. It still hurt, but I knew it was going to happen.”

“Why was there no outcome with me accepting you the way you are?” Jimin still looks at Jeongguk, taking in his soft features. He looks like he always does, no one would guess who he truly is. God, not even Jimin had an idea about it. In front of him is just Jeongguk, the man he has loved so dearly for eight long years. Can Jimin even think about letting him go? Or did Jeongguk have already let him go?

“I’m disgusted by myself for the things I did. I don’t expect anyone else to accept me, that’s why I never told anyone. Well, no other human besides you. And I guess Taehyung knows now, but… yeah,” Jeongguk sucks in a harsh breath, eyes following the movements of the fire and Jimin watches the reflection in his doe eyes.

“I’m sorry about my first question being… being that one. I was too fast to judge by your reaction, but I also was too scared to ask for details. I jumped into conclusions right away, and then we met Jin earlier and he is, well, quite something. I… I don’t know anything about your species and your way of living, but I was afraid of my own thoughts being real so I didn’t even want to listen to you.” Jimin knows they have to be honest with each other now, no sugarcoating and no fake feelings. They need to know what the other feels to understand each other, which also means Jimin being honest about his terrible thoughts about Jeongguk.

“I mean, your knowledge about us comes from Twilight, so I didn’t expect you to know anything,” Jeongguk snickers. “It’s valid that you thought that way. Maybe I can tell you more and then you can decide on your own what you choose to believe or not.”

“Can you stop hating on Twilight so much? You’re just jealous,” Jimin giggles, resting his head sideways on his knees so he can keep looking at Jeongguk, who rolls his eyes just in that second. It makes Jimin smile even brighter.

“Jealous of what? Not sparkling like a disco ball in the sunlight? Not. Talking. So. Pressed. When. I. Feel. Hungry?” Jeongguk shakes his head in disbelief, and it makes Jimin chuckle. The air between them is light for the kind of topic they just started talking about and Jimin hopes they keep it like that.

“He doesn’t talk like that all the time! You didn’t even watch the movie, you hater!”

“This is the face of a killer, Jimin,” Jeongguk quotes, and Jimin nearly dies laughing, because the situation is just too hilarious. “See? I know enough to judge this stupid movie.”

“Then tell me about real vampires,” Jimin says softly, nearly like a child asking their parents for a bedtime story. The expression in Jeongguk’s face changes clearly, a rather pained expression now visible. “I can’t promise not asking stupid questions, but I’m actually curious about the things my boyfriend does when nobody is looking.” The word boyfriend makes Jeongguk’s head turn and shimmering eyes look back at Jimin, and Jimin smiles at him gently. The light of the fire highlights Jeongguk’s features, making him look even softer now, and Jimin feels his heart racing just by looking at him. Maybe he has to learn a lot and accept a lot of things, but right now Jimin feels like making Jeongguk accept his love is the most important thing.

“Oh, Vampire Q&A, I’m totally in,” Jin suddenly chirps, and both their heads turn to watch the vampire and Taehyung come walking back into the living room. “You better ask your questions to a real vampire, not Jeongguk. He is a shame for our species.” Jin walks towards the armchair and Taehyung lays down on the couch, a bowl of what looks like snacks, in his hand. Jimin doesn’t even question it at this point.

The words leaving the vampire’s mouth are actually making Jimin smile, because when Jin says that Jeongguk is a shame for them, it means he is far away from what Jimin pictured him to be. And that’s already great.

“Can you believe that the world is not turning around you for once?” Jeongguk groans, but Jin only shrugs his shoulders.

“Sounds fake to me. Let’s go, first question!”

A little overwhelmed, Jimin looks back and forth between the two of them, but Jeongguk’s assuring eyes make him feel safe. Jimin has so many questions, but he doesn’t want to seem too nosy or judgemental, so he thinks about the first one a little longer. Apparently too long for Taehyung’s liking.

“What do you eat to stay alive?” he asks right away, and Jimin gives him a scandalized look. “What? It’s what we’re dying to know. I just ripped the band aid off, Jimin.” Jimin wants a hole in the ground to swallow him whole, but then he hears Jeongguk’s tiny laugh and he can’t deny that he wants to know the answer, too.

“I’m hunting animals in the forest. Bunnies, sometimes deers. It’s considered not as healthy or good as human blood, but as you can see I’m totally fine,” Jeongguk answers honestly.

“Yeah, super lame,” Jin groans dramatically, “Normally, we feed on human blood. It brings out the special little powers we have, like manipulating humans, being fast, heightened senses, stuff like that. Your boyfriend is super boring, because animal blood doesn’t provide him with all of these.”

“I can do all of that, just not… as well as others, but it doesn’t matter to me,” Jeongguk says immediately, and Jimin cocks his head to the side. Manipulate?

“What does it mean? Manipulate humans? Like puppets?”

Jin gets up and walks towards Taehyung who is happily munching on his snacks he got from somewhere. Leaning over the couch, Jin turns Taehyung’s head towards him by gently grabbing his chin, looking him in the eyes.

“You like me way better than your boyfriend, right? How about you call him and break up with him?” Jin says with a devilish smirk, and without even a second guess, Taehyung pulls out his phone from the pocket of his sweatpants.

“Jin,” Jeongguk says with a dark glare, but Jimin can’t tear his eyes away from Taehyung who is calling Yoongi’s number.

“Hi Yoongi, yeah, I just called to inform you that I’m breaking up with you–”

“Tae!” Jimin suddenly yells, not believing what he just heard. He is up on his feet instantly and rushing over to the couch, ripping the phone from Taehyung’s hands.

“He’s drunk, haha! Don’t listen to him!” Jimin says, but there is silence at the other end of the line. “We found Jeongguk! He has a very nice friend who is just a little too generous with what he has to offer,” Jimin says through gritted teeth, looking right at Jin who is watching the scene pretty amused.

“Okay? Are you safe?” Yoongi asks, confusion audible in his voice.

“We are, don’t worry about us. We will come back home tomorrow. Bye, hyung.” Jimin ends the call quickly, keeping Taehyung’s phone to him to prevent any further misery. Looking at Jin rather displeased, Jimin crosses his arms. “Stop playing around like this!”

Grinning, Jin only raises his hands in defeat. “You asked.”

Jimin only rolls his eyes and Taehyung seems to snap out of whatever trance he was in, looking up at Jimin with confused eyes. “Did I fall asleep?”

“He is adorable, I will eat him,” Jin announces, and Jeongguk throws his head back, groaning.

“This is why you never met any of my friends, in case this is one of your questions,” Jeongguk sighs, and Jimin gives him a small smile. It’s not Jeongguk’s fault that Jin seems to be overly attached to Taehyung, but now Jimin feels bad for even getting Taehyung into this situation. “Some vampires just don’t know how to behave.”

“I do behave. I’m just having a little fun, baby bat.”

“Baby bat?” Jimin giggles at the words, and Jeongguk pouts at him.

“Don’t. Don’t use that on me, I beg you,” he pleads, but Jimin can’t help the smirk growing on his lips.

“I like it. It suits you,” Jimin snickers, and then he walks back to sit back down next to Jeongguk, just a little closer than before. He isn’t sure if the sudden warmth comes from Jeongguk’s closeness or the fire. “Do you… like… actually turn?”

“Into bats? No, but would be damn cool if you ask me,” Jeongguk says, his voice rather quiet now that Jimin is closer to him again. He always turns so soft when he’s with Jimin and that’s what he adores so much about him.

“Did you ever manipulate me?” Jimin decides to ask, not sure if he wants to know the answer. Jeongguk could lie to him and tell him no, but would Jimin ever know? Jeongguk could be manipulating him the whole time without him knowing.

“No. Even if I wanted to, I can’t. No vampire can.” Jeongguk leans towards him and points at the silver bracelet around his wrist. “This bracelet was made with vervain. It’s a herb, that’s one of the few weaknesses of vampires. It protects you from being compelled.” Jimin looks down to the silver accessoire on his wrist, a gift Jeongguk made him… nearly eight years ago. On Jimin’s first birthday they celebrated together. They were a couple for only a few months, so Jimin was pretty surprised about a gift like that. Thinking back now, everything Jeongguk did was to protect him, always, even when Jimin didn’t even know.

“I have a feeling that we might need one for Taehyung, too,” Jimin whispers, but of course Jin hears him, and lets out an offended huff. Jeongguk chuckles anyway and promises Jimin to get one for his friend as well. They are somehow way closer by now, and Jimin craves Jeongguk’s touch so much. Jeongguk still seems hesitant about everything, not daring to come too close, so Jimin initiates the contact when he leans to the side and rests his head in Jeongguk’s lap. Jeongguk’s body seems to stiffen before he finally relaxes, and he gently puts his hand on Jimin’s head, caressing his scalp.

“Can I ask you something else… like, not really vampire specific, but…” Jimin starts, not knowing how to approach the topic. He needs an answer to this question, but he isn’t sure if he will like the answer. Even Jin seems to sense the change of air and gets up from his chair, gesturing to Taehyung to get up, too.

“Hey, Tae. You’re into art, right? Come on, I’ll show you the gallery.” Without a second thought, Taehyung is up on his feet and Jimin has half a heart to let him go.

“Wait!” Jimin says, and Taehyung turns around, looking at him confused. “Here.” Jimin takes off the bracelet on his arm and holds it towards Taehyung. “I don’t need it right now.”

With a small smile, Taehyung lets Jimin put the bracelet around his wrist, and then he’s off with Jin, both men disappearing somewhere else in the house.

When Jimin leans back down to rest in Jeongguk’s lap, he feels his eyes burning a hole in his skull, so he turns his head and looks up at him. “Don’t look at me like that. You really thought I do not trust you one bit? Maybe I didn’t know all the things I was trusting you with through the years, but I do trust you with that, too.”

“It means a lot to me, but I’d feel better if I can see it on your wrist later,” Jeongguk smiles, brushing a loose strand out of Jimin’s face. “Now, what did you want to ask me before?”

“Uhm,” Jimin starts, turning his eyes away from Jeongguk while thinking about his choice of words. When he looks back up at him, Jeongguk is still looking at him, waiting for his question. “You always said we… we’ll grow old together, but you knew we… can’t. Did you ever… did you plan on leaving me one day?”

Jeongguk sucks in a harsh breath, cocking his head to the side and chewing on his bottom lip. Jimin knows him well enough to see right through him right now and how he is fighting with himself while trying to give an answer.

“I thought about it many times. If I should leave you before you realize I’m not aging, but every year I thought “just one more year, he won’t notice”, because I didn’t know how to leave you. Ever. So there was the thought, but no plan. If anything, my plan is to never leave you.”

“That’s really unfair, you know? I’ll be old and ugly when I get older and you’ll look like this forever.” Jimin pouts and watches Jeongguk laugh at this statement, soft hair falling on his forehead when he looks down to Jimin.

“I will still love you when you’re old and ugly.”

Jimin only looks at Jeongguk for a long second, trying to catch every feature of his beautiful face. Is this what their life is going to be? Jimin aging like every other human, while Jeongguk will forever be 28? People are definitely going to shittalk about them when Jimin turns 80 one day and Jeongguk is still his boyfriend. Do they have to move away so people at his work won’t notice?

“But I will die one day.” Jimin’s voice is barely a whisper, staring right into Jeongguk’s eyes.

“Then I will die with you.”

With a gasp, Jimin slaps Jeongguk’s chest, “Don’t say that!”

“What do you expect me to do? I’m nearly two-hundred years old. I’ve waited for you all of my life, there is no purpose to live for me once you’re gone,” Jeongguk explains as if it’s the most normal thing one could say. “I never loved anyone like I love you. I never cared for anyone the way I care for you. There was no one before you and there won’t be anyone after you. Unless you are planning on being reborn, then I will wait for you, of course.” Jeongguk lets out a small chuckle that goes straight to Jimin’s heart, pulling at the strings in the best way possible.

“You’re stupid, don’t say that,” Jimin whines, cuddling closer to Jeongguk’s stomach and tracing the print on Jeongguk’s shirt with his finger. “I don’t want to think about losing you.”

“You will never lose me. For as long as you want me, you’ll have me.” Jeongguk reaches out his pinky, holding it towards Jimin, and with another pout Jimin connects their pinkies, sealing the promise. Jimin keeps holding Jeongguk’s pinky longer than necessary, but then intertwines all their fingers, holding his hand and placing a kiss on the back of it.

“I also wanted to say sorry. For… the thing with the knife,” Jimin mumbles, too ashamed to look Jeongguk in the eyes so he keeps looking at their hands. “I nearly created unnecessary chaos and pushed you into a corner like that.”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to worry, you know? I can see and smell human blood, it doesn’t immediately turn me into an animal. I just prefer avoiding any situation like that.”

“Is that why you never let me clean up the shards when I dropped something on the kitchen floor?”

Jeongguk chuckles, the corners of his mouth rising. “Maybe. It’s really hard living together with someone who constantly drops stuff and is about to hurt himself while cleaning it up. But don’t think you have to hide any wound or injury from me. When you came home from the skate park during your skater boy phase with Taehyung I also took care of your bleeding knee every week, it’s really okay,” Jeongguk adds, and his words make some weird feeling of relief settle in Jimin. He can’t exactly recall how many times he cut himself or fell and scraped his knees or elbows, but he can’t think of a single time in which Jeongguk didn’t offer his help.

“Then what happened that… that night when you left?” Curiously, Jimin looks up, seeing the pained emotion back, shimmering in Jeongguk’s eyes.

“A vampire has to feed every day. Not only to keep the blood thirst at bay, but also to live healthy and strong. Right around your birthday I was so busy with work and preparing everything for that day that I didn’t eat in over twenty-four hours. I never forgot before and normally my body shouldn’t react in such an extreme way, but with us about to have sex and you being so close, I guess it was just too much.” Jeongguk’s voice is calm, but Jimin sees the way his body is slightly shaking. Of course it’s a sensitive topic, but it’s one they have to touch in order to move on. “I left and came here. And I want to be honest with you about this, too. As you might guess, Jin doesn’t feed on animals, but on… uhm, humans. I barely made it here and I didn’t trust myself on hunting out in the woods, too scared I might stumble over another human. So Jin gave me some of the blood he stored in the basement. He gets blood bags from the hospital sometimes, so I drank… human blood. I just want you to, uhm, know.”

Jimin doesn’t answer for a long time, thinking about Jeongguk drinking human blood. He drank it from a blood bag, not from a human, which is a huge difference in Jimin’s eyes. But does it change anything about Jeongguk himself? Jimin can’t tell how much blood affects Jeongguk, but from what he heard he is pretty good at controlling himself, so somehow this information doesn’t shock him as much as he might have thought.

“Does drinking human blood make you… thirstier for more?”

“Back then it did. But I think I’m pretty good when it comes to controlling myself, so no. I trained my blood thirst for many years, getting closer to people step by step and slowly adjusting. I used to live with a circle when I got turned, but soon enough I left and stayed on my own in the forest. I had already decided back then that I was not going to hurt another human. So I started visiting the city more often, getting closer a little more each day, until I was able to walk through it without feeling like losing control. It took years, but I started a part-time job, and then again later, I started going to college. I learned to live with it, because I never wanted to be like them. Or like Jin. And I wanted to show you that.”

Jimin hums, understanding Jeongguk completely. He is surprised by Jeongguk learning to adjust to the presence of humans and to be more like them than an actual vampire. Jeongguk never showed any aggression towards him or anyone else, never let anyone provoke him at clubs or parties, always able to handle each situation pretty well (which was pretty amazing for Jimin since he would describe himself as easily… annoyed. )

“Why are you friends with Jin, then?”

“We met many years ago when I was already living the way I do now. I can’t really explain why we kept in touch. We just did. He seems like an asshole most of the time, which, to be fair, he is, but he’s also very smart. He is nearly twice as old as I am, so some advice from him here and there doesn’t hurt. He makes fun of me most of the time, but he still accepts me. Unlike my circle back then,” Jeongguk says, his eyes turning a tad sadder again. Jimin hates seeing him like that and he really doesn’t want to push the topic, but Jeongguk offered to tell him more and explain, so he dares to ask.

“What happened between you and them?” he questions, and Jeongguk’s eyes fall shut, his grip on Jimin’s hand tightening a little. “You don’t have to tell me, I’m just curious. Tell me if I’m being too nosy.”

“No, you’re not. It’s okay to ask, I just… I never told anyone but Jin. Most of the time I try to not even think about it, because it’s been so long. It shouldn’t bother me like this anymore, right? But it does and it makes me feel so weak, so I try to push it away as far as possible.” Jimin slowly reaches out with his other hand, putting it on Jeongguk’s cheek and he feels the wetness there. He didn’t even realize Jeongguk quietly started crying.

Jimin can’t even fathom what Jeongguk might have been through, and it makes him hate himself even more. Jeongguk probably lost so many people on his way or went through even worse, and all Jimin did to him was judge him in the same way. As if they didn’t spend the past eight years together, as if they were strangers with no trust build between them.

“When I was 27 I met this man. We just started dating and it was amazing. Being gay in the 19th century wasn’t that great, but you get along when you know how. I was serving in the palace and he was a soldier, so we met a few times during the day. Some day he asked me to meet him outside at night and it was thrilling, doing all these illegal things. Being gay? Jesus Christ. Making out with a soldier? Death penalty. But we kept doing it, sneaking out at night to meet up, and yeah. I felt like I was in love and everything was perfect for us, but then he went to war. What came back one year later wasn’t him anymore. What I didn’t know back then was that he was turned during the war. He returned as a vampire – way stronger, full of blood lust, and hate towards whoever looked at him the wrong way. I tried to keep my distance, but we were still both working there, so what was I supposed to do? I was scared he might expose me, so I played his game, and he seemed to buy it. One night he was… more clingy than ever and barely let go of me, even when I told him I should leave. He pinned me down to the bed and then… yeah, well.” Jeongguk hiccups, trying to swallow down the tears, but it doesn’t help one bit.

Jimin gets up from his previous position and puts his hand on the back of Jeongguk’s head, pulling him towards his chest. Jeongguk’s body shakes when he sobs against Jimin’s shirt, arms quickly wrapping around his middle. Jimin remembers small parts of this story when Jeongguk talked about his past lover for the first time, and he gets why Jeongguk didn’t tell him the whole truth back then.

“He t-told me that he will never leave and that I’ll be by his side f-forever. Then he forced me to drink h-his blood and broke my n-neck.” The words break Jimin’s heart. He can’t imagine the pain and fear Jeongguk lived through because of this man, just because he didn’t accept Jeongguk’s wish to leave him. 

“The next time I woke up it was in the middle of the night and I felt like dying, not knowing what happened to me. I barely remembered anything from the previous night and then there was this… hunger. My room wasn’t far from the palace kitchen, so I sneaked in there and literally ate anything that came into my way, but nothing made the hunger stop. I left again and went outside because I felt like going crazy inside. Everything burned and hurt, my head was yelling at me to eat, but I didn’t know what. That’s when I passed by the slaughterman. I saw dead pigs hanging from the wooden board, bleeding out overnight. And that’s when I smelled it for the first time. The sweet, alluring scent of blood. I– it’s so disgusting, I know, but I was drinking their blood like my life was depending on it. A soldier that was patrolling the area heard me and then… one thing led to another. I don’t even really remember what happened, but everything was red. I couldn’t control it, it was like the pulse of his blood was luring me in. I– I don’t know how many people I killed that night.” 

By now, Jeongguk’s voice is nothing but a broken whisper and Jimin started crying silent tears as well while he keeps holding his boyfriend.

“You were left alone, you didn’t know how to control it,” Jimin tries to say with a strong voice, somehow hoping that he can help Jeongguk with the pain he is currently going through. “He did that to you, none of it is your fault. You never asked for any of that to happen to you.”

“I know, but I still did all those things,” Jeongguk whines, and Jimin doesn’t know how to make Jeongguk feel better about this situation – what could he possibly say? Maybe Jeongguk just needs to let it all out, tell the whole story, and then move on. Maybe it was the fact that he could never be honest with Jimin before, what kept him trapped in a past long gone. His current life was with Jimin, but the past kept hunting him like a hungry wolf.

“How did you get rid of him?”

“I– I didn’t really. Unfortunately, I ran into his arms that night since he was on duty, too. He took me with him and brought me to a house far from the city, deep into the forest. He told me about our new life, how we’d be a family with all the other people that were like us. There were around ten vampires living in that house. I had never seen these people before in my life and I just wanted to go home, but at the same time I was scared to go away and hurt someone else. So I stayed with them. They taught me how to hunt, how to track the scent of blood from miles away, how to get rid of the evidence, and how to use my powers. Manipulate humans, how to wander in daylight, how to– to drink from people without killing them and to keep them to take care of my need to feed whenever I felt like it. I didn’t know any other way to live, I was taught all of these things by them and thought that that would be my life from then on. And I tried to fight it in the beginning, because there was still some humanity left inside of me. I didn’t want to drink anyone’s blood, I didn’t want to kill anyone… but the scent and smell of blood were so addictive that you start doing anything for it, especially when you’re freshly turned. And at some point I couldn’t fight it anymore, because those vampires never taught me how to control it. All they did was kill people for fun and I was one of them. That’s why I couldn’t answer no to your question. I did kill people, and it will always be a part of me.”

Slowly, Jeongguk leans back and away from Jimin’s touch, bringing some space between them as if he’s not worthy of being touched by him. Jimin feels his heart break once again today and he isn’t sure if he can fix it. Jimin doesn’t go after him, giving Jeongguk the space he apparently needs, and only looks at him. His eyes are tired and his hair ruffled from Jimin caressing it for so long. It must be so hard to recall all these memories and Jimin already wants to slap himself for even asking. Jeongguk suffered enough for twenty-four hours – for a whole lifetime.

“But that’s not what made me change the way I was living. Killing all these people wasn’t what made me reconsider all these things, questioning right or wrong,” Jeongguk keeps going, and Jimin can guess the hardest part of Jeongguk’s story is just about to come.

Jeongguk fumbles with the blanket on his lap, his eyes not once meeting Jimin’s. “One night I was out with some other vampires. Sometimes we went to the city at night, getting drunk and just… doing whatever. Randomly picking out people to manipulate them and drink from them. We went to some bar and I got really drunk because I just felt like it. Then I stumbled out of the bar and it was late at night, so everything was mostly quiet and dark, but I heard voices coming from an alley. I just went there, stupid and drunk, and I found a young boy there. I didn’t care who he was or why he was there all alone, why he was crying and why he looked at me with such wide eyes. I simply went there, grabbed his head and pulled it to the side, to bite his neck. When I was done, I left him there, dying out in the cold.”

Jimin feels the tears grow in his eyes, but he tries to muffle his cries to not make Jeongguk feel even worse about all of this. He presses a hand against his mouth, tears wetting his hand, the view becoming blurry while he keeps listening and looking at Jeongguk.

“The next day I woke up and couldn’t remember anything that happened. I mean, I remembered being at the bar, getting drunk, but that’s it. Then I decided to go to the city in the early evening, I can’t even remember why. I passed by the bar and suddenly I looked at that dark, small alley, and somehow I felt like I had been there before. I had a weird feeling creeping up my spine, so I followed that bad feeling into the alley and he was still there. The boy was still laying there with his back towards me, the snow underneath him covered in blood, traces of a vampire ripping flesh out of his neck. I immediately remembered that it was me and I panicked because I didn’t take care of the corpse and someone could’ve found him and seen the wound and gotten suspicious, you know? So I… I got closer to do what I always do, and when I was able to look at his face I fell on my knees. I suddenly remembered him calling my name last night, crying, screaming. Of course he knew my name. Of course he was shocked to see me, because it had been nearly two years since I got turned and left the city.”

Jeongguk makes another pause, turning his head even further away from Jimin, looking in the opposite direction. Jimin feels like he can already guess who that person was.

“That night I buried my own brother in the forest. And ever since I kept dreaming about him screaming my name, about the way he looked at me when I killed him, because I was so driven by the thirst for blood that I didn’t even recognize my own family.” A loud sob escapes Jimin this time and now he’s the one crying, not Jeongguk. He tries to calm down and take a deep breath, but the pain and guilt Jeongguk must be feeling is settling over Jimin now, cutting his breath short.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to cry,” Jimin apologizes, and Jeongguk still doesn’t look at him. He’s probably too ashamed and traumatized by recalling all these memories and now he hates himself even more because Jimin is crying as well because of the story.

“It’s okay. It makes me cry all the time, too.” Jeongguk’s voice is more distant now and Jimin can guess the way he feels right now. All the guilt and pain must be coming back to him, and for the first time since he met Jeongguk he doesn’t know what to do or how to comfort him. “I’m sorry, I– I guess you need a second to… comprehend all of this.” And then Jeongguk is out of the room and Jimin hears the front door open and close.

Breathily, Jimin cries out and lets the tears fall free now that Jeongguk can’t see him anymore. Jimin isn’t even sure if he’s crying because of Jeongguk or for Jeongguk. All of these years he kept the secret buried deep down, living all alone with the knowledge of what he had done. Each year he had to commemorate his brother’s passing day alone, Jimin not knowing a single thing about it, never there to comfort him. Whenever Jeongguk felt upset or sad for whatever reason he came to Jimin, sometimes explaining the reasons and sometimes not. Now Jimin knows that everytime Jeongguk simply seeked out for his comfort were times he thought about his brother, not able to share it with Jimin. Not able to cry. Not able to feel. 

Jimin hiccups a few times before he finally gets himself to stop crying, and then, as if something in his brain switched, he gets up and runs out of the living room. With nothing but his socks on, Jimin runs towards the entrance door and outside of the house. He immediately spots Jeongguk standing just a little afar, looking into the dark forest. Jimin runs down the stairs, not caring about the snow soaking his feet and runs to Jeongguk. Jeongguk heard him coming and turned around, about to say something, but Jimin crashes into him, wrapping his arms around him and holding him close. Jeongguk seems confused for a second, but then he puts his arms around Jimin as well, pressing him closer and hiding his face in the crook of Jimin’s neck.

“I’m sorry you had to suffer alone all this time, but I promise I’m here now. I’ll always be here for you,” Jimin whimpers against Jeongguk’s shoulder, fingers clawing into Jeongguk’s shirt. 

He feels Jeongguk nod, another small sob coming from him. There was so much crying today and Jimin wants it to end already. He wants to go back to their old life – well, maybe some things might change in their life, but it’s still theirs. Still them. Stronger than ever.

Jeongguk slowly leans back, red eyes and puffy lips from all the crying, his big eyes looking at Jimin. He looks so different from what Jimin expected a vampire would look like. He just looks so much like Jeongguk. Nothing else. Jimin can’t understand how he had ever thought of him differently. “I kept hating myself for it all this time, I still do until now. But last time I came here, Jin hyung told me that I should be thankful that it happened, because if not, I never would have met you.” 

Jimin nearly starts crying again at the statement, but instead he leans in closer and holds Jeongguk’s face, pressing his lips against Jeongguk’s forehead. Jeongguk wraps his hands around Jimin’s wrist and his eyes fall shut, letting Jimin touch him like that.

“You came a long way. I’m happy it led you to me, baby.” The petname slips just like that and Jimin feels Jeongguk’s body tremble, another small sob escaping his lips. “I’m sorry for failing you yesterday. I hope you know that I’ll always love you. With everything that makes you you .”

“I understand if you are disgusted by me, but I promise, Jimin. I promise I have never hurt anyone afterwards. I tried my best to change and be good and be worthy of being by your side,” Jeongguk hiccups, “I just wanted to protect you, always.”

“No, you’re talking nonsense. I’m not disgusted, okay? It’s okay. You’re okay, you’re with me now. Nobody will hurt you and nobody will hurt me as long as we have each other, okay? Please don’t cry,” Jimin tries, hoping to finally calm Jeongguk down and make him understand how much he means to him, no matter what. “I love you so much, Jeongguk. Nothing can change that and I will prove it to you if you want me to.”

“You don’t have to prove anything,” Jeongguk chuckles, another sniff coming from him. It makes Jimin laugh because he can’t help but feel happy at Jeongguk slowly turning back into himself. “If anything, I have to prove myself to you.”

“I think you already did enough when I checked your teeth like I’m a damn dentist,” Jimin laughs, and Jeongguk giggles as well, wiping his remaining tears away. “I just want you to know that you don’t have to hide this side from me anymore. I want you to tell me what you need and adjust to you in case you need anything.”

“You’re doing great, I promise. Nothing to change about that.” Jeongguk smiles at him, his little bunny teeth showing, and Jimin can barely grasp the fact that Jeongguk used to be so different back then. It’s a Jeongguk he’s glad he never met, that time gave him the chance to change until he met Jimin all these years ago. Now they both found their place in each other’s life and that’s all that matters for them.

“When we arrive home I will start watching all kinds of vampire movies to learn more,” Jimin giggles, taking Jeongguk’s hand and pulling him back inside with him (his feet slowly start hurting from the cold ground, sue him.) 

“No Twilight.”

“Yes, Twilight, you baby bat!”

Their laughter is heard through the whole house, but when they disappear into Jeongguk’s private room all the sinful sounds and moans are for them and their ears only.

☽

When Jeongguk wakes up, the other side of the bed is empty and cold. Confused, he looks around and tries to remember if it was all just a dream or if Jimin actually stood in the hallway of Jin’s home yesterday. When he slowly slips out of bed and finds the clothes Jimin was wearing yesterday scattered all over the floor he realizes it wasn’t just a dream. Happy, Jeongguk slips into a pair of gray tracksuit, brushes his teeth, and then he’s out of the room, he can hear  some chatter going on in the kitchen.

Neither Taehyung, nor Jimin notice his presence when Jeongguk leans against the doorframe, watching the two friends trying to prepare breakfast with the few things that Jin stores in his fridge for when he has guests over. Jimin is wearing some sweatpants and the shirt Jeongguk had on the previous day, hair ruffled and puffy cheeks.

“I’m glad we drove here yesterday,” Taehyung whispers, probably not wanting anyone else to hear him. The only thing is that Jeongguk would be able to hear them from anywhere in the house. Vampire benefits. “I like you way better like this. It’s like hell seeing you cry.” Their backs are facing Jeongguk, deeply absorbed  in cutting some oranges and heating up the pan to make some pancakes.

Jeongguk turns around and leaves the two of them alone, not eavesdropping on their conversation which definitely isn’t meant for him to hear, and walks out of the front door. He’d rather run towards Jimin and kiss him silly, but allows the two of them some time for themselves.

He just wants to go out for a quick hunt, to eat his own breakfast until they are done in the kitchen and can eat together like they probably had planned for the four of them.

He is only a few steps into the forest when he hears footsteps nearby, and since he immediately knows to whom they belong, he runs in that same direction. “Hyung,” Jeongguk says when he finds Jin sitting on his regular spot. Sometimes Jin might seem like an asshole, but Jeongguk knows his sensitive side, too. Jin barely shows it, but when he’s here, Jeongguk nearly thinks he’s talking to Jin’s human side, not the vampire.

“Someone needed a good sleep after a long night, huh?”

Embarrassed, Jeongguk sits down on the bench next to Jin, cheeks heating up. “You’re not supposed to listen, you creep.”

“You were so loud, I’m sure everyone within a thousand meters was able to hear,” Jin smirks, placing his hand on Jeongguk’s thigh and squeezing gently. “I can’t believe I finally got to know him. You wanted to keep him hidden, but then he found his way to me all alone through the big, dark forest.”

“Thank you for intercepting them yesterday. God knows what could have happened if you didn’t find them.” Jeongguk doesn’t even want to think about any other vampire in the area finding them. They have clear territories as vampires, but that doesn’t mean that others don’t trespass into their lands and are up for a fight.

“I already heard them from afar, but then Jimin yelled your name, so it was clear who they were and what they wanted. It was quite courageous of him to come here. He probably doesn’t even realize, but it was, is .”

“I didn’t think he would come find me.”

“Yet here he is, preparing breakfast in the kitchen for four people,” Jin snorts.

“I know you don’t think highly of humans, but I hope you change your mind when you get to know him.” Jeongguk’s eyes are following the snow covered landscape, taking in the peaceful view, only the sound of some faint wind is heard.

“It’s not like my opinion matters, but he’s okay for a human. I like his friend better though, and that only means that no real vampire can steal your spotlight in Jimin’s eyes.” Jeongguk shakes his head and huffs, not believing that Jin is still chasing after Taehyung.

“It’s okay. He loves me the way I am, even if I’m weaker than you.”

“You’re so in love, it hurts me. Suddenly I want to rip my own heart out so I don’t have to endure this cozy-wozy-lovey-dovey-shit anymore. Time you guys leave my house and I can drink my whiskey in peace.”

“Your life is so lame, to be honest. You said I should visit more often, and now me being here is not good enough either,” Jeongguk laughs. He really never planned to introduce Jimin to other vampires, but now he knows Jin and he’s still by Jeongguk’s side. Two vampires in his life, but he’s not bothered at all. Jeongguk is the luckiest man on earth.

“You know what would make my life a little bit more thrilling? A new baby vampire,” Jin says, looking at Jeongguk with a bright grin.

“No. Jimin will stay human. Don’t even think about it.” Last night, when Jimin brought up the topic, it was another painful reminder that their time is limited. Even though everything might be alright now, one day it won’t be anymore. Jeongguk would love Jimin no matter what, no matter how old he is or how many wrinkles he has, but it would mean moving at least every ten years, finding new jobs every time, and ripping him away from his friends.

Jeongguk wants a future with Jimin, wants a house, a pool, maybe a dog. But he doesn’t want Jimin to be like him, because he doesn’t want him to go through similar experiences. Jeongguk knows Jimin would never be able to forgive himself if he ever hurt a person, even worse if he accidentally hurts someone he knows. He won’t be able to see his friends for a while, not until he learns how to control his thirst, he won’t be able to go to work, and he will see the people he loves die one by one while he keeps on living. That’s not how it’s supposed to be. Not for Jimin.

“You thought about it, too. What’s wrong with giving it a try? You could ask him and see what he thinks. Maybe he’s up for it. He would make such a gorgeous vampire. I’m sure he’d be really fast, with sharp senses,” Jin argues, and Jeongguk gets up from the bench, brushing his pants off.

“It’s a thought only meant for me. A dream. Utopia, if you will. Jimin was born as a human and will die as one, don’t make it more complicated now.” Jeongguk turns around and starts walking through the snow, shoving his hands in the pockets of his gray sweatpants.

“Don’t take another decision from him,” is the last thing Jin says, but Jeongguk shakes it off and walks into a different direction of the forest, looking for his daily hunt. He takes his mind off of it when he focuses on the faint sound of animal footsteps coming from the distance, pushing Jin’s words deep into the back of his mind. It’s not a random decision one just makes. It’s not like Jeongguk is taking the decision on his own about whether they move out or paint their whole apartment pitch black. It’s not as if he would simply make an offer to Jimin and ask him if he wants to die so he can be with Jeongguk forever. Jeongguk will never turn someone and make them what he is, because it’s nothing to be proud of. It’s a hard, long way to be in. It’s painful and lonely. Jimin should rather live a life filled with happy memories and good friends, leaving this planet one day the way he is supposed to.

Jeongguk will follow him. Two hundred years on this earth is enough time for one person.

After successfully catching a light gray bunny and a baby deer, Jeongguk returns home, cleans himself up, and finds Jimin and Taehyung still in the kitchen. By now, the huge wooden table in the dining room is set up for four, various kinds of fruits are displayed as well as some fresh juice and even a couple of nectarines that Jeongguk loves so much. He really has no idea where they found all of this and why the hell Jin has so much human groceries at home.

“There you are!” Jimin says when he finally spots Jeongguk standing in the kitchen, walking happily towards him and catching his lips in a sweet kiss. “I missed you.”

“I missed you, too. I went out hunting early today, so we have the rest of the day for us,” Jeongguk answers, and Jimin bites down on his bottom lip, seeming pretty much okay with that idea. “You prepared all of that for us?”

“Yeah, come sit down, then we can eat together,” Jimin says excitedly, but then suddenly his face drops. “Wait. You don’t even really… eat, right? Oh God, did you feel obligated to always eat with me? Did I force you to pretend you like food for years?” He panics so cutely, it makes Jeongguk coo at him.

“We don’t have to. Like, it doesn’t sate us, but it still tastes good. So don’t worry, I love eating with you and nectarines are still my favorites, they taste so sweet,” Jeongguk smiles, placing a peck on Jimin’s nose. “Nearly as sweet as you,” he adds, pretending to bite down on Jimin’s nose, and Jimin laughs out loud at the attempt. His eyes turn into crescents by how hard he’s laughing, and Jeongguk finally feels whole again.

“You can have a taste of me later,” Jimin whispers seductively, winking at Jeongguk, and then he quickly turns around to help Taehyung prepare the rest for their breakfast as if he didn’t just say that at all.

It’s around ten minutes later when they all gather on the table, even Jin joining them without Jeongguk having to beg him. Jin doesn’t eat any of the things they prepared, but he keeps eating Taehyung alive with his gazes (so much about them annoying him. Jeongguk is sure he’d keep Taehyung right there with him if he was able to.)

There is a light conversation going on, little teasing here and there, and they are all laughing at their own small jokes. Jeongguk can’t even express what being here together means to him. It’s not just his human and his vampire life colliding, it’s also his past and his future slowly morphing into one. With Jimin knowing the whole truth, it’s like a huge weight was taken off Jeongguk’s shoulders and he’s sure it will make a lot of things easier in the future. 

“So, you’re feeding on humans, right? Why not on animals?” Taehyung asks casually, while he munches on his food, curious eyes looking at Jin. Jeongguk understands the fascination for their kind, but he has never seen anyone talking about vampire eating habits  as calm and collected  as Taehyung.

“It tastes better and helps a vampire to be strong and healthy. For example, if you’d shoot me and Jeongguk with a gun filled with wooden ammo, I’d recover from it way faster than him. He might even die from it, since his body can’t heal that quick without human blood,” he explains calmly, seeming pretty satisfied with Taehyung asking him specifically. Jeongguk doesn’t comment on it at all, rather busying himself with caressing Jimin’s thigh underneath the table.

“And how does it work? Are your teeth like straws?” Jin breaks out laughing at the question and Jeongguk chuckles with him, amused by Taehyung wanting to know so many details.

“Yeah, you could say so,” Jin laughs, “Why don’t you let me turn you and find out by yourself?”

“Hyung,” Jeongguk says with a warning glare across the table, but the older isn’t even looking at him. He is fixated on Taehyung instead, red eyes studying the human sitting next to him.

“Would you want to be a vampire if you had the choice?” Jimin suddenly asks, and everyone turns quiet, Taehyung and Jimin looking at the two vampires with curious eyes. Even Jin seems to think about the question for some time, but then ends up with a yes without much explanation.

“No. I’d rather be a normal human being,” Jeongguk then answers, looking Jimin straight in the eye. “Being immortal is lonely. Everyone you love dies one day and then you’re alone again.” Jimin’s gaze turns a little sad at the words, but he forces himself to smile a little. Their future is still a sensitive topic for them and surely something they have to talk about again another day.

“Would you want to be a vampire if you had the choice?” Jin asks the two men, and Jeongguk’s whole body stiffens. Of course he had to ask such a thing today. He can’t simply drop it and accept Jeongguk’s decision – no, he needs to push and push until he gets what he wants. Not this time, Jeongguk promises himself.

“I mean, it seems pretty exhausting.” Taehyung answers first, thinking about his next words. “Maybe if the person I love is a vampire, too. I can imagine spending a whole eternity with Yoongi, but I’m not sure if he would be able to handle me for that long,” he laughs, and they all join in. 

“I’d be waiting for you until the day he gets sick of you. I promise you I’d never grow sick of you,” Jin remarks with sharp eyes.

“What a luck you have a lot of time to wait,” Taehyung says back, not giving a single shit about turning down a hundreds of years old vampire like that. Jeongguk has to hold back a chuckle when he catches Jin’s offended face, realizing once again how lucky he is with Jimin.

“I think it’s so hard to decide. Being with the person you love forever sounds nice but what if it’s not meant to last forever? What if you’re left alone one day?” Jimin’s voice is smaller, his eyes only looking at Jeongguk even though he answered Jin’s question.

“Guess that’s a risk you must be willing to take. It’s either all or nothing,” Jin adds, and then he gets up from his chair and excuses himself. He gives Jeongguk a last knowing look, and then he’s quickly out of the room. Silence lingers in the room after Jin is gone, so Taehyung is the first one to speak up again, trying to break the uncomfortable quietness.

“We just have to rewrite all of those stupid vampire stories and turn Jeongguk back into a human, easy,” he grins, and Jeongguk can’t help but snort at the idea. Yeah, what would he give to be a human again. 

“Let’s pack and make our way home, what do you think?” Jimin asks instead, hand searching for Jeongguk’s until they intertwine their fingers. Nodding, Jeongguk lets himself get pulled up and the three of them tidy the table and store everything away again, Jeongguk and Jimin going upstairs afterwards to pack Jeongguk’s belongings. Jeongguk didn’t bring much, just a few clothes, a framed picture of him and Jimin which is standing on the nightstand, and a few other things, so they gather all of his things quickly and it’s not even fifteen minutes later that they find Taehyung waiting for them in the entrance hall.

“Where is Jin?” Jimin asks, but Jeongguk only places his hand on his lower back and guides him outside.

“He’s out hunting. Let’s leave before he returns,” Jeongguk suggests, and the two of them don’t have to be asked twice. As interesting as their species is, there is no way Jeongguk will let these two see Jin bringing someone home, playing with them, and actually killing them. It’s nothing Taehyung and Jimin need to witness during their lives.

They walk through the forest in silence and quickly find the trail, following it until they reach Taehyung’s car. Jeongguk slips into the backseat and Jimin on the passenger seat, just a light conversation going on, but as much as they probably still want to know, neither of them asks anything else about life as a vampire. 

Taehyung drops them off in front of their apartment and waves them goodbye, and Jeongguk catches the look Taehyung gives Jimin before they part ways. He doesn’t know what they talked about this morning, or in general, and he knows it’s none of his business, but he hopes nothing of what happened with Jin made them too uncomfortable.

“Is Taehyung okay?” Jeongguk asks when he unpacks his bag, and Jimin helps him sort his things. “I’m sorry again. Jin hyung can be… yeah, I mean you met him.”

“He’s fine, don’t worry. You know him, there is barely anything that catches him off guard. He’d probably whoop Jin’s ass if he had to,” Jimin chuckles, folding one of Jeongguk’s shirts on the bed. 

“And you? Are you okay? I know all of this was a lot,” Jeongguk says, pressing his lips together. Jimin turns his head, looking at Jeongguk for a long second before he nods with a small smile.

“You’re home with me and I can’t think of anything that would make me any happier. I hope you can help me learn more about you, so I can support you as much as I can,” Jimin says sweetly, and Jeongguk swears his heart stops right in that moment. He doesn’t deserve Jimin at all. Or maybe he does? Maybe he is what people call the end of a long ride. What one can find at the end of the rainbow. No matter what, Jeongguk is thankful for being able to share so many years with Jimin, because he knows there is no way he could be any happier either.

“I told you, you’re doing great. Nothing will change for you,” Jeongguk answers, and Jimin reaches his hand out to him, beckoning Jeongguk to come over to him. Jeongguk walks towards him and catches his hand, pulling Jimin against him, his arm wrapped around him.

“I love you, I hope you know that,” Jimin says shyly, big eyes looking up at Jeongguk. The smile that forms on Jeongguk’s lips at those words is so bright, it makes Jimin smile with him.

“I love you, too. Thank you for… for being here with me.”

“I’ll always be with you, Jeongguk,” Jimin then says firmly, and Jeongguk catches the way Jimin’s voice sounds a bit more determined than before, but brushes it off as nothing. He gently tugs Jimin’s hair behind his ear and caresses his cheek, before he catches his lips in a soft kiss. “ Always, okay?”

“Always,” Jeongguk repeats, and he catches a glimpse in Jimin’s eyes that he’s never seen before. Some mixture of hope and anticipation, maybe? Making new plans for their future maybe? Whatever it is, Jeongguk will follow Jimin’s lead, will make future plans with him, and hopefully wear many, many more Halloween costumes in the upcoming years.

Suddenly, Jimin’s smile turns into a little smirk, and Jeongguk raises an eyebrow at him.

“You know what comes now,” Jimin grins, biting down on his bottom lip, and Jeongguk throws his head back, whining.

“No, why? Don’t make me do it,” Jeongguk groans, but Jimin already catches his hand and pulls him into the living room, where he drags Jeongguk onto the couch. Jeongguk falls on the soft cushions and Jimin immediately settles next to him, half sitting on him so Jeongguk has no chance to flee from his fate when Jimin opens their Netflix app and Twilight starts playing on the tv. Jimin throws a blanket over them and clings onto Jeongguk, cuddling close to him, so Jeongguk wraps his arms around him and kisses his hair.

Maybe he doesn’t even want to flee. Maybe being here with Jimin, cuddling on the couch, and hearing him laugh is what heaven feels like. And maybe Twilight is really fucking stupid and Jeongguk rolls his eyes at least twenty times when Jimin keeps commenting how “cool” Edward Cullen is. And maybe he feels like he could spend eternity like that.

What Jeongguk doesn’t know is that Jimin has already made many, many plans, because eternity is indeed a pretty long time, and they both don’t mind spending it with each other.

“By the way,” Jimin suddenly says while the movie is playing, turning his head to look at Jeongguk. Jeongguk cocks his head to the side, waiting for whatever Jimin has in mind now. “I already know what we’re going to be dressed like next Halloween.”

Jeongguk furrows his eyebrows in confusion, because Jimin never plans their outfits this early. He randomly comes up with an idea when it’s the beginning of October, but a whole year before? That’s a first. “And what would that be?”

It seems as if Jimin just waited for him to ask, because his eyes turn a tad darker, making Jeongguk regret ever asking. And then it makes sense. Then he knows what’s going on in Jimin’s mean, little head.

“I’m not going to be Batman,” Jeongguk says firmly, but Jimin only grins at him, pretty much satisfied with his idea. “I said no!”

Yeah, Jeongguk said no, but he knows, next year he’ll be wearing whatever Jimin gives him, even when it means being dressed as Batman, because what is he supposed to do? As a vampire, blood is what lures him in, but as a human, it’s Jimin who seems to be his very own addiction. He is nearly two-hundred years old and lets a 30 year old human play around with him like that, but Jeongguk wouldn’t want to have it in any other way.

And maybe in the end there is one thing that Jeongguk agrees with when it comes to Twilight;

no measure of time with Jimin will be long enough, but starting with forever sounds about right.

“I’ll be right here and there’s nothing to hide,
Everyone needs understanding sometimes,
You’re beautiful even when you feel broken,
I’m right by you,
We’ll make it through,
I’ll stay with you till the dark fades.”

– One Ok Rock; Your Tears Are Mine

☽