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English
Series:
Part 1 of the relax-verse | toma/kei/shogo more!
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Published:
2022-10-22
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1,000
Chapters:
1/1
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2
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24
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361

forever shall things be finite, though we wish them to be the opposite

Summary:

There's Shogo and Toma, and then there's Kei, who they never thought they would see again.

Notes:

welcome to my shogotomakei ot3 delusion.

special thanks to the yaoi psych ward and shogummy server for enabling me♡ you are all the best

sorry if the writing is sounds so pretentious. i am reading oscar wilde again lately

Work Text:

There's a degree of understanding, between Shogo and Toma, about the fact that Kei is with them right now.They know he's disappeared before and they know he's bound to again. They know that what they have with him right now is finite at best, ephemeral and already fleeting at worst. They operate altogether with an understanding between them that, yes, to Kei, his family comes first, and for him that takes higher priority than anything with them. And they get that, like, who wouldn't?

The circumstances surrounding Kei's two unitmates– well, no, wouldn't it be more accurate to call them his brothers?-- made his protectiveness and constant worrying about them make sense. When the time came a while ago for Kei to explain that was why he left them in the first place, yeah, Shogo understood.

Shogo and Toma aren't really mad about it, they try not to be at the very least. They tell themselves to be thankful that he returned to them in the first place, and god, much less that he decided he, yes, he really did want to enter into a relationship with them.

(How Toma was able to coax Kei so well into it was beyond Shogo, though the best he could approximate to it was Toma's devilish charm. Even when Kei was pretending to enjoy being a part of VISTY with them it was clear Toma had struck some sort of chord within him, which Shogo found really cute, to know that even Kei's stoicness and clear outer apathy caused by whatever was going on in that head of his was no match for whatever tricks Toma always had up his sleeve. Shogo remembers the Valentine's stream where Toma hand-fed every single member of VISTY strawberries he'd dipped into chocolate, one by one, he'd all told them to open their mouths, say 'ahh~', and Shogo and tried to refuse for the sake of his own heart, but Toma just chuckled in that mischievous way he does and fed him anyways. And when he saw Toma take Kei's chin to feed him one, Shogo could feel a little bit of himself die just watching it second hand. Who wouldn't be stuck with that? It was like a moment you'd find in a romance manga.)

No, the thing that is Shogo and Toma's problem now is that they can't stop making it worse for the day that Kei eventually does decide that maybe he's done with everything, and steals his brothers away to go live in peace, as was his initial intention before getting himself wrapped up in Paradox Live. Kei is sentimental, so they know for now that he won't leave, but they can't stop falling in love with him more and more now that they have the real opportunity to. The more they try to savor the tenuous relationship they have with him, Shogo has realized, the more memories they make that will eventually make them sigh sadly and wish for the past again in the future when it's just the two of them once again. (This is not to say they obviously don't hold each other close, of course they do, Toma would follow Shogo to hell if he was going there, he's loved Shogo from day one, there was no way he could leave him behind, even if sometimes he worries him so, so much. It was them first, and then Kei got added into the mix when he deemed himself comfortable with all of it.)

Every month, Kei stays over for at least one night. He's still trying to teach himself that it's okay to be separated from his brothers for a bit, nothing to worry about, so they settled on one night a month so far. They do… anything, during the day. They share a meal, watch a movie, play games, go out somewhere, like the beach, the pier, the aquarium, the zoo, the mall.

It almost always ends in intimacy. A plea to experience him just a little bit longer– of course they will though, he stays the night after all– but to really entangle themselves in his existence, skin-to-skin contact not limited to the palms of their hands or the tips of their fingers or their cheeks or lips, a confirmation of the body heat between them. It's almost like winding down from the rest of the days events, even though heartbeats and the rate at which they exchange breaths greatly ramps up. They're gentle, do things at his pace, but even then sometimes that's not even remotely as slow as they think it is. There's a sort of desperation alive in the air when they have sex, like this is the last night they'll see Kei alive even, even though of course that's not true.

The problem is it could be.

So that's why they drink in his scent, cling to his body, relish in the added body heat even when it gets unbearable during the summer months. They can't help it. Kei is fleeting. Shogo relishes in the small skinships and Toma takes every opportunity to spoil him. Toma takes every bit to eleven when he knows he can get a laugh out of Kei, Shogo will playfully indulge Kei in plans to "team up" against Toma's minx-like qualities. They even relish in the few days Kei spends lazily lounging when he's not making music, because every moment spent in his company even if there's nothing happening is important to hold onto for later. They know they'll part ways with him some time in the future. That's the nature of things with him.

They understand this, they do. But they can't help but– well, maybe it's because they understand it– hold Kei's presence close to them. They kiss him goodbye, goodnight, hold tight to his hand, indulge him until he's too exhausted to hold his head up.

This is the way things are, and will be, with Kei, until what they have with him ends.

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