Chapter Text
Harry sat in front of the mirror ardently.
The golden specs of the sun were seeping inside his chambers through the window he had left open in the hopes of hearing the thuds of the horses of the King's family arriving. His heart was flooding with anticipation, a deep longing for his beloved Prince. He had, after all, waited an entire year for the summer to warm his crestfallen heart again.
He had spent the entire morrow preparing himself to greet the Royalty. But looking at himself, he found disgrace in every inch of him. No matter how passionately he attempted to conceal his flaws with a myriad of jewels, he remained a curse to the eye. His heart ached when the thought of Louis seeing him crossed his mind. Harry was not the prettiest of things, far from it, and Louis had lived among beauty and riches his entire being. You are tainted too, whispered his mind. Clutching the sapphire of his necklace, Harry willed his tears to not fall.
He looked again, assessing the embroidery of his gown, the details in his hair, and the tint on his lips. If he could fool himself into believing his beauty, perhaps he could fool everyone else. He breathed in, swallowing the growling thoughts and then he exhaled from the depths of him, carving a smile on his face that ached his heart to forge.
He recalled the past summer when his Prince had come back after Harry had spent ages awaiting his return. He was much older, his beauty as fine as romantic literature. There were shadows of hair on his jaw and the callowness of his youth had ripened into the tough grace of his adulthood. He was the poetry of every dying poet. But Harry was too tainted for him, as Harry reminded himself often. Louis would not require Harry to be his, a future King did not need someone like him.
But it did not mean Harry could not want him.
And to want Louis was to do anything to be his, even if only in darkness. If Louis wanted Harry to walk with him into an abyss, if the darkness was to consume him forevermore, so be it. Harry had nothing more to lose, the one thing that was truly his was taken away, and now the sole thing he wanted could not be his.
"Your father has requested your presence, my lord." Harry could hear it now, the distant commotion of it. His Louis was mere minutes away. He nodded and breathed in, the ivory of his fingers tracing the encrusted sapphire.
Each of the Styles was present when he reached the door, and he desperately attempted to pretend he could not see the bitterness in his mother's gaze that was thrown at him. The thuds of the horses grew louder and Harry's heart began an erratic beat. It took them five blinks to arrive and when they did, Harry refused to blink ever again when his eyes fixed on his Prince.
"My Majesties." He heard his father and then felt a nudge to his ribs from Elizabeth, looking at her he found everyone bowing. Oh yes, Harry was supposed to bow as well. When he rose, his cheeks burned and his heart fluttered as his eyes found Louis'; a blinding ocean of ache and long.
Louis looked, even more, august, carved marvellously by a year's time. He stood tall and kind, a regal beauty after all. He was wearing a deep shade of the sea, guilded around the corners and his hair was longer now, brushed back neatly. If Harry's heart was ablaze, Louis was his soothing.
"Harry." Taken aback, Harry realised the King was standing in front of him.
"Your Majesty," Harry greeted, bowing to show his respect. Alfred smiled, taking his hand and kissing the knuckles of Harry's hand.
"You have grown graciously." Harry blushed under the scrutiny, opting to smile at his words instead of speaking and angering his mother. Then came the queen and then Leah. Greeting Leah made his stomach churn and when Louis came, it fluttered.
"My Precious," he whispered, pressing his lips against Harry's knuckles. His lips lingered there for a moment too long, their eyes entwined and Harry allowed himself the luxury of pretending to foresee a future. "You grow more beautiful with each passing breath."
"Do not speak lies."
"Truth is all that I speak." Grinning, Louis stepped away as both their fathers made their way inside the castle.
They were to have supper before everyone was to retire to their chambers. The supper was loud and overwhelming. No one spoke to Harry, not that anyone was cross with him but they simply often ignored his existence. Harry was accustomed to this. But it bothered him that whenever Louis attempted to speak to him, another would intervene as though Harry had no value at all. He wished to stab his fork in their tongues and slice it with his knife.
Instead, he sipped his wine and he watched it all.
☽
Harry lay awake in his bed, staring at the flame of the candles. The thin cotton of his gown was sticking to his skin. It was quiet though, a sense of calmness flowed in the warm, summer air as Harry got up and walked to his balcony. He had fond memories here, most of which were from his youth with Louis. He felt the light breeze against his skin. There were distant torches that spread throughout the estate, and a few guards patrolled the edges. Save them, the entirety of the household was asleep and Harry found peace in that moment.
He startled when the branches of the pine shook and a groan echoed. It took him a moment to realise what was happening. "You are no longer a pup," Harry scolded before he was offering his hand when Louis' tousled hair emerged from in between the pine leaves. With difficulty, Harry pulled him onto the balcony, blushing when he realised he was merely wearing a thin nightgown.
"Hello, my precious." Before Harry could scold him further, Louis had already engulfed him in a warm hug. Harry's heart melted and tears pricked his eyes. He had not hugged a soul since the previous summer. Harry clutched Louis' shirt. "Oh, how I have missed you."
"As have I. So dearly." When Louis pulled away, he was grinning deeply and his eyes sparkled in the darkness. His scent was comforting, unlike the other scents of the alphas that merely made him anxious. Silence followed until Harry realised Louis could certainly see through his gown. "H-how have you been?" He asked turning away to grab his robe.
"Pathetic," Louis grumbled bluely, walking behind Harry before he sat down on his bed. "I hate everything about being the Heir." Tying his ribe, Harry sat near the alpha. "Leave it be, it is too warm," Louis said, pulling on the string of Harry's robe. Harry felt his nubs harden when Louis' arm brushed against his chest.
"You merely wish to see me naked, do you not?" Harry teased, tossing the robe onto the bed. He felt Louis' eyes on him. "Are there any pretty omegas in the capital?"
"None as pretty as you." When Louis whispered it to him, with his hot breath against Harry's neck, Harry knew the night was indeed very young. "Prettiest thing, you are. So achingly gorgeous." Perhaps, Louis had lost his vision. And then his hand was cupping Harry's jaw, his fingers brushing through Harry's hair and resting on his nape. He looked into Harry's eyes deeply and said, "I missed you, darling."
Harry's heart ached to be Louis' but his mind knew he could never be.
Tainted.
"And I missed you," Harry whispered back, lowering his head. He bit his lips until he tasted blood and his thoughts calmed. "I had no one to talk to."
"I am here now. Talk all you wish to, I will listen."
"But you are here for only the summer. After that, I am alone again." Harry watched Louis, traced him with his eyes and stopped at his lips.
"Be mine then, come with me to Dirthfall."
Harry shook his head. "This loneliness, Louis, it is my comfort, it is my god. I am stuck in this temple of madness." A crease formed between Louis' brows, and he opened his mouth as though to speak before closing it. Not wishing to upset Louis, Harry surged forward and captured his lips in a kiss, gentle and slow. "You are welcome in my temple, only you, my Prince."
Louis kissed him harder. "I wish to only worship you."
☽
"Are you hurt, Harry?" Frowning, Harry turned towards Matthew, who was sitting next to Louis. They were having the first meal of the morrow. Harry had not anticipated anyone interacting with him so he looked at his brother with disorientation.
"What?" His eyes found Louis' and the alpha seemed conflicted. Harry grew confused.
"Your neck, sweetheart. Did you get hurt?" By now the entirety of the table were staring at him. Silence fell upon the table and Harry grew red. Fucking Louis.
"I... I merely fell, Matty."
"On... your neck?"
"I meant," Harry spoke again, pursing his lips and setting his fork down. "I merely fell... a-asleep... wrong. I slept wrong and- and fell down the bed. M' knee's bruised as well, I fear." His knees were indeed bruised from Louis knotting him on the carpet.
"Oh." Matthew said before going back to his fruits. Harry glared when he caught sight of Louis snickering. He was going to chop off his knot.
"Was that why you were screaming, Harold?" When Leah spoke, Harry felt the hair on the back of his neck stand. He gulped, losing his appetite. "I was merely passing by your chambers when I heard you, 's'all."
"Do you wish for me to call the physician, Harry? Are you hurt terribly?"
"I am alright, Matty. I screamed for it took me by startle when I fell mid-slumber, nothing else. Should we not go back to our meals? The morrow's morphing into noon now."
When the dining was over and the majority of the people had left, Harry allowed himself the pleasure of hitting Louis' crotch. It warmed his heart to watch the lines of agony on Louis' face as he clutched his manhood and groaned.
"I do not see you having a laugh anymore," Harry teetered, wrapping his hair around his finger and watching the scene in front of him. "Is it not hilarious anymore?"
"You are a vixen." Louis cursed, his cheeks blooming as he attempted to recover from the ache. Harry merely smiled, walking away while Louis trailed behind him at a slow pace. It was a mellow morrow, the sun's rays soft as they fell on the lush greens of the estate. Harry walked until he was out of the manor and following the trail that led to the woods behind, his ears aware of Louis' steps behind him. He was well aware of the consequences if anyone caught them together without a chaperone but the thrill of it ignited something within Harry.
Soon the rays of the sun were being replaced by the blue shadows of the tall trees, the chirping of the estate a distant murmur as the birds sang to their arrival. Harry did not know what he was doing or why he was there at all. However, it felt tranquil to be away from the haste of the manor. And tranquillity was a luxury Harry was not allowed even in the confines of his own self.
"As pups we did this often, did we not?" Turning around, Harry watched Louis huff as he caught up with him, his eyes reflecting the green of the trees as he looked up. "The last time, I mean. It was your nameday, was it not?"
"Yes, it was," whispered Harry, afraid of his voice. The mention of it had his heart clenching. The last time. What an awful phrase. "Have you not been walking much lately?"
"There is less walking when you are bound to a chair all day, doing your duties." There was a hint of bitterness in Louis' tone and the chuckle that succeeded his words had a sense of hollowness. Harry knew how much Louis despised it all, could see it in his tired eyes and broken words that were a sight to Harry's eyes only in the dark of the night, in between tangled limbs. But he was as helpless as was Louis. No one could change it anymore, there were no Tomlinson children to pass down the throne to.
Louis was chained to the crown.
"Is it not lovely?" Harry asked aloud, his steps turning into slow strides as he watched the trees clear into a meadow. The lush green of the new summer was a stellar scene to the eyes. Harry halted and turned, taking Louis' hand and walking further until he settled under a willow and leaned into Louis' embrace. He stared into Louis' eyes, watched the tired lines of endless worry around the corners and the glimmer in his blue eyes as they took in the freedom of the pristine greens, and Harry spoke from the depth of his soul, "Let us run away."
Silence fell and Louis did not speak. He looked at Harry, and then he was lost in the turmoil of his thoughts, mouth ajar and void of words yet his mind searched for them. He blinked and then he spit out a bitter chuckle. "I would have nothing. You do not wish to spend your entire being with a lowly being."
If that lowly being was Louis, Harry was willing to spend an eternity.
"The irony, my Prince, is that freedom is not free. She has a cost, Louis."
"Nothing is worth losing you," replied the alpha, placing his palm against Harry's cheek. Harry pressed his cheek against the coarse hand. "Even freedom isn't bribe enough for me to lose you."
It ached Harry's heart to hear such words. He was only lovelorn. He knew he could not have Louis, not if he was tied to his titles. No taint shall ever befall a king. He breathed and he leaned closer, his nose against the bone of Louis' jaw. He whispered gently as he was being secured in the prince's arms. "Would you run away if I told you I would follow you to the heavens above and the hell beneath? Swim oceans and walk the fires until all that was left of me was dust and bones. Would you run away with me, leave all these blood-stained riches behind and be singing birds in an ocean of dreams? Would you choose freedom if her cost was an eternity with me?"
Louis pressed his lips against Harry's temple. "An eternity with you will never be a cost."
"Yes or no, Louis."
"Yes," whispered his prince, low and small, as though afraid of the world beyond their breaths.
"Then you are free."
Harry wished Louis believed him. Harry wished they could run away. Harry wished he had the courage to tell Louis all that he wanted to.
He wished and he wished and he did nothing, breaking his shattered heart into pieces of a tainted lover.