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Sentimental, grieving to survive

Summary:

Hunter returns to the Demon Realm covered in scars. Darius feels guilty.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

When he first sees Hunter after months of the kids being gone, Darius barely has the time to be relieved. The Collector is still running rampant, and the Emperor, absent through the past few months, has returned to make himself a threat too, not content with the harm he already caused. And, oh, how much harm he caused.

Their reunion is short and hasty, but it's impossible to ignore the new scars running through half of Hunter's face down to his neck. The glaring absence of the bird that never left his side. His eyes look different too, and it's not only because of the color; there's a new grief in them, and now more than ever he looks haunted.

It doesn't take a genius to guess what happened, especially not when one name is spat with poisonous anger from the mouths of the missing children and the mother that tried to protect them.

Belos.

As if he hadn't taken enough from them already.

It's until they're all back and secure in their shelter, kids finally back in the arms of their families, that they have the first chance to talk.

"Hunter?" The boy has his back to him when he approaches him. Truthfully, Darius wasn't seeking to startle him, but the way in which he only turns around, his face dangerously void of emotions, makes his heart sink further than if he had accidentally scared him.

"Hi, Darius. You look... different," He sounds tired, as if he were just overcoming a long bout of illness. Opposite to his voice, he stands at his full height, shoulders square and firm.

"I'll take that as a compliment," He decides, aware that he doesn't look anything like the pristine image he has kept for the longest part of his life, but he doesn’t have enough fucks left to give about that at the moment though.

There's an awkward pause. Darius changes his weight from one leg to the other.

"I know I look different too. It's okay if you say it," Hunter sighs.

"I don't care how you look," He says carefully. It's a half-truth; Hunter's appearance doesn't change his opinion or affection for him, but he cares. He cares because of what these changes mean. He wishes they had not happened. "I'm simply glad you're..." Fine. But he's not. He's everything but."… here."

Hunter smiles for a fraction of a second, before the sorrow returns to his expression.

"Me too. I missed you," He murmurs.

"… I missed you too, kid."

Darius is polite enough to ignore the tears gathering in the corners of Hunter's eyes, up until they start spilling through his cheeks and his breath becomes strained with silent hiccups. It's clearly not only because of the returned sentiment.

He takes a step closer, glad for once that he hasn't been able to wear gloves in a while.

"Can I...?"

Hunter gulps, but slowly, hesitantly, he nods. Even with his approval, Darius reaches for his face carefully, making sure none of his movements are too abrupt, and holds it between his hands so delicately that he could almost miss the way Hunter's breath catches in his throat when his fingers finally make contact with skin.

Almost.

Like this, with big brown, watery eyes focused on his own, having to look down to make eye contact with him, Hunter looks so young. Painfully so. Like a kid. Because he is, he's just a kid that didn’t deserve what happened to him. Any of it. Neither these new scars nor the ones he already had before.

Hunter closes his eyes as Darius gently wipes the tears from his cheeks, caressing the new scars softly with his thumbs. They're deep, and they're big. The kid will have to look at them every time he looks in the mirror for the rest of his life. A mark of his suffering, a mark of his friend's sacrifice.

A mark of Darius's failure to keep him safe.

Hunter's face becomes blurrier and harder to see with each second that passes, but it isn't until Darius’s breath breaks into a strangled sob that he realizes he's crying. Scarred tissue brushes his skin as the kid raises his arm to put his hand over Darius’s and he knows he won’t be able to stop.

How could he mess up so badly?

"Darius? Are you okay? What's wrong?" The concern bleeding into the boy's voice brings a little life to him, but it's not enough to squash the guilt threatening to drown him.

"I'm so sorry, Hunter."

He feels him tense under his hands, but he can't bring himself to let go just yet.

"Don't. You didn't do this."

“I might as well have,” He feels, more than sees, Hunter shaking his head. It’s too small of a protest to dissuade him. “You were supposed to remain safe. I never meant for this to happen when I sent you on that mission.”

It feels like a lifetime ago. Knowing he didn’t get the kid killed by sending him to the wrong place at the wrong moment lifts some weight off his shoulders, but judging by the way he looks… it was a close call. He lets out a shaky breath.

“I just wanted to keep you safe. And I failed you.”

Hunter is quiet, but more warm tears find their way down his cheeks and to Darius’s hands. He does his best to wipe them away.

“You didn’t,” The boy clutches his hand with more strength than he expected given how exhausted he seems to be. “Darius, this isn’t your fault.”

He chokes on a tear-filled laugh.

“Kid, you’re covered in scars.”

“And it isn’t your fault,” Hunter’s voice turns as cold as steel. A reminder of how much of his childhood has been lost; if Darius could have his way, he would’ve never had to go through any of the things that made him sound this way. “It’s his.”

Belos.

The rage that surges at the reminder almost threatens to overthrow his guilt. He trembles with the urge to do something, to go and search that damned man right now and make him regret every single second he remains alive. But Hunter pushes closer to him, throwing his arms around him, and the anger, though not gone, takes a backseat in his mind.

“He won’t hurt anyone else again, right?” The kid is crying again, or maybe he never stopped in the first place. He still sounds desperately determined, the strain in his words bringing back the reminder that, despite everything, he’s still terribly young. “We’ll make sure of that?”

Darius takes a deep breath, willing and failing to reign in his own tears.

He hugs Hunter tightly.

“He won’t,” Especially not Hunter. He’ll have to go through Darius’s dead body first, but that’s a promise he keeps to himself; he won’t hurt the kid more, not even with his words. “I promise.”

Notes:

Just to be clear, of course Darius had no fault at all on what happened, but tell me he wouldn't blame himself with how fiercely protective he is of his loved ones.

Anyway, I'm emotionally distraught, I have no idea if this is actually comforting. Leave a comment if you want tho? Or come be emotionally distraught with me on Tumblr.