Chapter Text
I came back to school with a wheelchair. It turns out they postponed the wedding for me. I wheeled up to Rachel in the hallway. It was terrible in a wheelchair. Artie was helping me, though. It took some getting used to. I pretended to be happy for them.
“Hi, Quinn! We missed you so much.”
“No, don’t. I could have easily become one of those creepy memorial pages in the yearbook, but by the grace of God, I’m here. Believe it or not, this is the happiest day of my life. Come on, Artie. I’ll race you to the Choir room.” I stayed positive through it all. Artie was a great friend and stayed beside me through it.
We sang ‘I’m Still Standing’ by Elton John in Glee Club. It was ironic but significant because I knew I would be back on my feet soon.
“Here’s a lesson for your board, Mr. Schue. Don’t text and drive. Ever. It’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever done besides sleeping with Puck.” Puck was not amused. “There’s a lot of rumors floating around, so let’s clear the air. First of all, all my plumbing still works, which is fantastic. But my spine was severely compressed in the car accident, which means I can’t move my feet or legs. But the good thing is that I’m starting to regain feeling, so with a lot of physical therapy and your prayers, I stand a good chance at a full recovery. So no tears. That means you, Tina. Oh, and I apologize for the number. My dance moves aren’t as smooth as Artie’s yet.”
“With practice, they will be.” Artie chuckled.
I looked down. “I promise that by the time we go to Nationals, I’ll be out of this chair and dancing on that stage.” Everyone cheered and came to give me hugs.
In the library, everyone was talking about Senior Ditch Day.
“Quinn, I’m so sorry.” Rachel suddenly said. “It was my wedding that you were going to when you got into your car crash, and you were answering my text message, and now we’re all sitting here, and we’re talking about this day that’s supposed to be the most amazing and unforgettable day of our high school lives and we’re completely ignoring the fact that she’s sitting in that chair? It’s not right. It’s not right, and it shouldn’t be like this.”
“Well, maybe not, but this is the way it is. My accident, which you did not cause, by the way, does not define me or ruin our senior year. I meant what I said in the choir room. I’m not going to dwell on this, and neither should any of you, okay? Come here.” I hugged her. “Now, we are ditching as planned. I think we should go to Six Flags.”
“The Lady Fabray has chosen wisely, Six Flags it is. Meeting adjourned.” Puck announced. We all got up, except for me, and left.
Artie wanted to teach me how to go up the ramp to get inside. I was at the bottom, and he showed me how to do it.
“Ready?”
“I don’t know. It’s super steep.”
“In fact, it’s the steepest accessibility ramp in Lima. I know. I’ve conquered them all.”
“I think I’m just going to go to the front of the school. That ramp is nice and gentle.” I started to wheel away.
“Quinn Fabray! I believe in you.” I rolled back. “Now, come on. Prove me right. You can do this.”
“I’m not going to make it.” I rolled back and started to go forward as fast as I could. “My arms… aren’t strong… like yours.”
“Yes, they are. Lean forward and push. Push!”
“Don’t make me laugh!”
“Come on. You’re halfway there. You’ve got this! Push! Push!”
“That sounds familiar!” We both giggled up.
“You made it!” We high-fived and wheeled back into the school.
“I would say that was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.”
“Until you go to Six Flags. Look, I’m not trying to be a buzzkill, but going to an amusement park when you’re in a wheelchair- especially if you’re still getting used to it- can kind of be a drag.”
“Artie, it’s Senior Ditch Day. It’s the only Senior Ditch Day I’m ever going to have.”
“I completely agree, which is why I want you to come with me on Friday. I promise you; it’ll be the most amazing, incredible, and inspiring Ditch Day ever.
In the halls, I saw Finn almost step on Joe’s toes because he was on his phone.
“Hey. What were you doing?”
“Uh- texting-“
“Texting while walking. That’s exactly how I started.”
“Well, I usually don’t text while-“
“Think about it. You know, luckily enough, the guy that crashed into me while I was texting is fine, but, you know, I….”
“Okay.”
“You should really not do that anymore.”
“No more texting, okay? Well, unless I’m in class or, you know, on the toilet or at a movie or something.”
“Thank you.”
“What’s going on?” Artie came up to us.
“Oh, well, that’s funny you’re here. I was just, uh, confirming that the ditch day amusement park ticket order ....”
“Oh, count us out.” I said.
“What, why?”
“Because we have a super special senior Ditch Day planned. Artie Abrams style. Isn’t that right, Artie?”
“That’s right.” We high-fived once again.
When the day finally rolled around, we got off the bus at someplace random.
“Are you going to tell me what we’re doing here?”
“Just follow me. It’s up here.” I saw people on wheelchairs wheeling around like a skatepark.
“What is this?”
“This is where we go to play on Senior Ditch Day. Or, as I like to call it, CripSkip.”
“Artie! What’s happening?” One boy yelled from inside the ramp.
“‘Sup, Mickey?”
“I don’t think I’m ready for this.” I couldn’t imagine myself wheeling around in a skate park.
“Yeah, you are. Trust me.” We put on helmets and slowly rolled ourselves down. There were skaters there, too, but we pretty much avoided them. It was entertaining. So much better than being at school.
When we were done, we started to roll out.
“Thank you. This was a really fun Senior Ditch Day. You were right.”
“I just wanted you to meet a cool group of people having a great time in the same situation as you.”
“Yeah, but I’m not… This is only temporary. The doctor said it’s only a matter of time before-”
“Look, I’ve been where you are. I know how it feels, but you can’t keep denying-”
“I’m not denying anything. You’re not me, okay? I’m not like you. This isn’t my life. I’m going to Yale. I’m getting out of Lima, and I’m going to walk again.”
“And what if you don’t? When are you going to stop pretending that this isn’t really happening to you?” I wheeled away before things could get worse.
Back at school, I was getting things out of my locker when all of my books fell. Joe was right next to me and helped pick them up.
“Maybe you should request a lower locker. It could be easier.”
“No. This has always been my locker and will continue to be until I walk across that stage in my cap and gown and get my diploma.” He closed the locker. “I gotta get to class.”
“Can I walk with you?” I let him push me to class because I didn’t want to be mean. “I’ve been praying for you.”
“Well, guess it could help for God to hear from a few people. I’ve been praying to walk again as well.”
“Oh, I don’t pray for you to walk. I ask God to help you accept whatever your journey may be.” I stopped my wheels.
“I appreciate your prayers; I do. But when you’re done praying, you get to get up off your knees and walk away.” I started to wheel away. “Sorry. Self-obsessed bitch.”
“It’s cool.”
“You know what?” I turned to face him. “You’re really inspiring. And I feel like you’d be inspiring to a few other people I know. What are you doing after school today?”
Joe joined Glee Club! He had a great voice, and I knew he would be an excellent addition to Glee.
The Cheerios did a dance number to ‘I Wanna Dance With Somebody’ by Whitney Houston, and I was sad that I couldn’t participate.
“Quinn, you okay?” Joe once again came up to me in the hallway. “You looked kind of bummed back there.”
“I’m fine.” I reached for a book in my locker.
“How’s your physical therapy going?” He stepped in front of me.
“I keep going, and nothing seems to be happening, so it’s pretty depressing.” I closed my locker and started to head to my next class.
“Well, what if I went with you next time?” He followed me. “That would definitely be less depressing.”
“You really don’t have to go with me.”
“I want to.”
I stopped wheeling. “You want to come with me? Why?”
He shrugged. “I care about you. And, to me, being a Christian isn’t about talk. It’s about actions.” I started to disagree, but he interrupted me. “Come on. I’ll let you hold one of my dreads for luck.” After he walked away, I chuckled to myself.
I showed up at my physical therapy, and he was already there, waiting for me.
“Hi.”
“Hey.”
“Hello, Quinn.” My doctor came out. She eyed Joe. “I see you brought a friend today.”
“Yes, yes I did.” Joe blushed.
“Well, come in, come in.” I wheeled into her office, and Joe followed me. They helped me onto the bed and started to lift my legs to maybe get some feeling in them. There wasn’t any feeling in my legs, but in my stomach and heart, there was. Joe? Really? He leaned in, and I almost thought we would kiss. But we didn’t.
Afterward, I took him to a park, and we worked on a song for Glee. We sang ‘Saving All My Love For You’ by Whitney Houston.
“Quinn, when you sang ‘Saving All My Love For You’ with Joe yesterday, it sure felt like you meant it.” Mercedes poked. All of the Glee Girls were in the bathroom, fixing their makeup.
“You guys seemed a lot more than just singing partners,” Rachel added.
“I don’t know, Joe’s really pretty, but I heard she doesn’t shave her armpits,” Brittany claimed.
“Joe and I are just friends.” I spat. “Nothing else is going to happen.”
“But you want it to, don’t you?” Tina teased.
“Doesn’t matter what I want. I’ve said goodbye to that part of my life. After…” I looked at Brittany. “Anyway, Joe took me to rehab the other day; we had a moment, and before we kissed, he pulled away. Grossed out by me and my chair.”
“Quinn, I’m so sorry.” Rachel sympathized.
“I don’t want to hear that tone. Joe’s not into me. I don’t blame him. Who would be?” As soon as I said it, I regretted it. I knew it wasn’t Brittany’s fault that she hurt me. Neither was it Santana’s. I had forgiven both of them, so where was this coming from? I knew I had to get away before the backlash, so I quickly rolled out, feeling Brittany’s stare on my back.
“You are the prettiest, nicest, best-smelling girl I’ve ever met.” Joe and I were back at the doctors’.
“How many girls have you met? Weren’t you homeschooled?” I grinned.
“Don’t do that.” He grabbed my leg. “Don’t find ways to run yourself down.”
“I guess I have been doing that a lot lately. It’s just hard not to focus on what I’ve lost.”
“Well, what if I helped you? You know, like how I use my hands to move your legs, maybe you could use my eyes to see yourself. The way I see you.”
“And what would I see?”
“Perfection.” Tears started to form in my eyes. I scoffed with a smile.
“So, what are you looking for here? I mean, do you want me to be your girlfriend?”
“I don’t know.” Ouch. “I mean, yes. Totally.” But? “But my faith means everything to me. It’s just that when I’m with you, I don’t care about what God says about sins of the flesh. I just want to know what it’d feel like to be right up next to you.”
“You’d give up your faith to be with me?”
“I don’t know. Are you asking me to?”
“No. No, never.”
“Because you don’t like me that way.”
“No, because it’s nice knowing that there’s something out there that can’t be lost.” He looked at me, and I knew I should’ve felt something, but I didn’t. Not even butterflies. “Alright, help me up.” I reached out my arms, and he pulled me to sit up.
“So, what is this? You and me.”
“I don’t know. Something new.” That’s all I had to say.
The next time we went, I tried to walk. I had two bars on the sides of me to hold on to and help keep my upper body strength up, and Joe was right beside me the whole time. I let go of my hands and took one step before tripping over my own feet and falling face-first into the mat.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” I laughed it off.
“Take a break, and we can show everyone! Glee-”
“No.”
“Why?”
“Because this has to be real. You know, maybe if I practiced a lot, I could walk into the choir room, maybe even prom. So for now, just promise me you won’t tell anyone.”
“You’re going to be dancing at prom. I know it.” He helped up.
Finn and I were hanging up our poster because we ran for Prom Queen and King together when a girl came up to us.
“Oh my God. Quinn Fabray, you’re so brave to be doing this.”
“Thank you. The atrophy in my leg is a constant reminder of slow, withering remnants of my past life. The toll can, at times, be physically and emotionally hard, knowing that I may never walk again. People like you inspire me. Your healthy, normal legs are beautiful.”
“You deserve this.” She walked up to me, and she leaned in. I could smell her breath, and it smelled disgusting. “You’ve got my vote.”
“Wow, that was super creepy,” Finn said when she walked away.
“It won’t be when we’re standing up on that stage, soaking up the applause.”
“Don’t you feel kind of weird using your injury for a sympathy vote like that?”
“Votes are votes, Finn. Do you want to win or not?” I started to roll away.
“This is because of Brittany, isn’t it?” He said, way too loud. I paused. “You know, I think I know why you want to win so bad. It’s because you’re constantly feeling bad for yourself that Brittany broke up with you, and you are still trying to win her back. But you know she doesn’t love you back. That must hurt not to be able to admit to everyone how you really feel. You know what I think you are? A coward. See you later.” He walked off.