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“So what did you think of his story?” Kakucho asked. Izana wasn’t sure exactly what he thought, but after everything.. Even if he wasn’t sure whether it was true or his friend was insane- he’d still help him.
“I’m not sure,” Izana felt most comfortable with Kakucho. He wasn’t sure how it’d been in other futures, but he knew now that he could tell Kakucho anything. “How about you? You’ve known him longer than I have.”
Sometimes it worried him just how devoted Kakucho was. It should be comforting, it was comforting- it was also nerve wracking to have someone so close. What if Kakucho were to leave him? It was a thought he tried to avoid but it had a habit of replaying in his mind at the worst times.
“I think he was being honest,” Kakucho said, putting a hand over his mouth. There was a pause before he added, “So we’re going to babysit your brother?”
“Babysit?” Izana almost laughed. Instead he squinted at him. “Maybe for me it’s babysitting, but you’re around his age-“
Kakucho hummed. He seemed quite unamused by the comment. “Do you ever feel like you’re babysitting me?”
Izana was acutely aware of the fact Kakucho was younger than him. Maybe that was part of why Kakucho leaving scared him so much. What if he grew up and realized Izana wasn’t worth his time? What if when he was older he found better friends- better people to be around? “No, it’s not like that.”
Kakucho hummed again, though this time it was more thoughtful sounding. He looked away for a moment before saying, “I’m glad.”
Izana for some reason was surprised by the words. He felt a bit off today, after everything with Takemichi. He wasn’t sure how he should feel learning he dies in a different timeline, learning he went to jail in another, learning how bad his future was if things happen a certain way.
“You’re scared,” Kakucho was very close now, looking at him with multicolored eyes. Izana was used to being thoroughly analyzed by his multicolored eyes. He’d met Kakucho after the accident that caused his scar- so it was all Izana knew. He’d started off as a shorter awkward kid and now- although Kakucho was still a kid- he was taller and more mature than even Izana was. “This whole thing scared you, didn’t it?”
“How did you know?” Izana let out something between a sigh and a laugh. Comfort . He felt so much comfort with Kakucho, he could be himself. He could let his guard down. It was comfortable but completely terrifying. When you’ve lost the things you hold dear; when you’re betrayed, lied to.. It’s only natural after all of it you’re hesitant to be close to others.
“I know you,” Kakucho said. Kakucho had a habit of getting up into Izana’s face as if he wouldn’t be able to hear or wouldn’t pay attention if he was further away. “Plus,” He stepped away as he continued, “Who wouldn’t be afraid after hearing all of that?”
Izana was a little bit scared, but it wasn’t as much because of his future- whether he was in jail, died.. He was more afraid of being alone. Death didn’t scare him, but loneliness- isolation ; that frightened him. “I-” Izana wasn’t sure whether he wanted to share his fears. Kakucho knew him, but Izana kept his fears, his emotions as close to the chest as possible.
“You?” Kakucho pressed, in his very subtle Kakucho type of way.
“I’m afraid of being alone,” Izana looked away as he spoke. He didn’t really want to see Kakucho’s reaction to the words. It was his biggest vulnerability. It wasn’t just the idea of being alone that scared him, it’s how much he used other people as crutches and the possibilities of what he’d be like when left alone.
“You’ll never be alone,” Kakucho told him as if it were a fact.
“How would you-” Izana whipped his head around as he spoke. He realized the words came out too harsh and took a deep breath before restating, “How do you know I won’t be?”
“I won't leave you,” Kakucho told him. “Well, unless I die- in which case Takemichi still would be there-”
“You aren’t allowed to die,” Izana blurted. He knew realistically people can’t really control when they die, but his dumb brain caused him to say it anyway. Kakucho was loyal to him, Kakucho continued to follow him, Kakucho was not allowed to die.
He gave a little nod with a smile, before kneeling in front of Izana and taking his hand. “Of course.” Izana’s eyes widened as Kakucho kissed his hand. Kakucho showed his devotion in many ways. Whether it be how he knew Izana’s food orders, how he listened- hung on every word, how he kept Izana from losing his way.
It was all stupid.
He was stupid.
They were stupid.
Except when they met eyes, Izana realized, maybe he didn’t mind being foolish when it came to Kakucho .
“So where do we go from here?” Kakucho asked. The fact he always said ‘we’- the way they came as a package deal… It made Izana oddly satisfied.
“I guess we have to go find out what Mikey’s doing.” Izana wasn’t exactly looking forward to talking with his brother. They got along to a certain degree, mostly because of Takemichi, but Mikey was still confusing to him. He didn’t really know Mikey, he just knew what Shin had done to him and how he cherished Mikey. Izana shook his head, as if he could shake the thoughts out of it.
It was a few days later he found his way to Shin’s shop- S.S Motor. Izana didn’t know how to get in touch with Mikey, so this seemed to be the best route. It looked the same as it always had. It was a nice looking shop, one wall was full of glass panels, so people could see the bikes inside. There was a nice one on display right near the window. The sign above the shop has the same black and white checkered pattern- like the ones signaling the end of a race.
“Izana?” He recognized the voice as if it were yesterday. It’d been a few years since he’d last seen Shin and he wasn’t sure if he even wanted to talk with him again. Takemichi had helped him and Takemichi wanted help with this. Even if he didn’t want to interact with the Sano’s… he’d do so for his friend.
“Is Mikey around?” Izana asked. He tried to look over Shin’s shoulder. He was uncomfortable, fidgeting and bouncing on his feet.
“He’s inside,” Shin gestured inside the shop. “It’s nice seeing you after all this time. How’ve you been?”
“Good,” Izana replied curtly. The last time he saw his brother he was in a hospital bed. Izana had made sure to appear when Shin wasn’t awake. He didn’t want to interact with him, but he did care for some reason.
“Izana?” Mikey sounded almost exactly like Shin as he greeted him. There was the same confusion in their voices, but along with it there was an almost an excited tone. The whole thing was hard to grasp.
“I have to speak to you about something,” Izana gave Mikey a look. He wasn’t sure how he was going to work with Mikey, but he’d figure it out. Well, here goes nothing.