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good wife

Summary:

A distraught Chan turns to Felix for comfort.

Felix tries to put Chan back together while holding onto the pieces of his own tattered heart.

Notes:

title from song of the same name by mika

unbeta'd so all the mistakes are mine .. this was written as just a sort of writing exercise because the song was stuck in my head and i love to inflict pain upon myself. figured id post so we all can suffer :)

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Felix has just put the last batch of cookies into the oven when he hears knocking. Frowning to himself, he leaves the oven mitts on the counter and cautiously makes his way down the hall. He isn’t expecting company. He doesn’t have plans to go out with the guys until Friday.

The thumping grows more frantic and as Felix gets closer, he hears a voice that sounds suspiciously like Chan’s.

Glancing through the peephole, Felix is surprised to see the man in question crumpled in a heap on the floor, resting against the frame with his face tucked into his knees, his shoulders shaking as he smacks his open palm against the wood.

“Oh my god, Chan, what happened?” Felix hurries to pull open the door.

Chan stumbles as he tries to get up from the ground, one hand grabbing for Felix the other clutching around the neck of a bottle in a brown bag.

“She’s gone, she’s gone, she took Mina and she’s gone,” Chans sobs into Felix’s neck, his breath ghosting across Felix’s skin with each desperate sob. On instinct, Felix brings a hand to the back of Chan’s head to stroke at the hair on his nape to try and calm him down.

Wordlessly, Felix pulls them into his apartment and closes the door, wrestling the bottle out of Chan’s hand and leaving it in the kitchen. He navigates them carefully through the hall before pulling Chan to lay down onto the two seater sofa in his living room. It’s Chan who shifts them then, pushing Felix to lay on the couch before settling on top of him. His arms are wrapped around Felix’s waist, sobs continuing to wrack his body.

Felix becomes acutely aware of every single point of contact between the two of them, his knees pressed to Chan’s, his arm thrown haphazardly over Chan’s shoulders, his hands still playing in Chan’s hair in an attempt to calm him down. He keeps his breathing steady and waits for Chan’s to even out.

“Chan,” Felix starts hesitantly, “what happened?”

Chan sniffles and rubs his nose over Felix’s collarbone as he turns to face him. If Felix weren’t so painfully in love with Chan, he might find it gross. As it is, he can barely prevent himself from flinching as he’s hit with a wave of Chan’s alcohol breath.

“I came home from work and they were gone! Sooyoung and Mina! All of their clothes and things! Th-there was a note about h-how they’re gonna be happier without me, ho-how I shouldn’t try and fight this because, it’s not w-worth it, Mina will be better off without me.”

Felix swipes his thumbs across the apples of Chan’s cheeks, racking his brain desperately for some sort of appropriate response. What had he missed?

“What, just like that? Out of nowhere?”

“N-not quite… We’d been fighting more, about how I’m not around enough, for her, f-for Mina. I think… No, I know, she’s been seeing someone else.”

“And, what, she’s moving in with him?”

Chan grows quiet again.

“She said, she said his job is taking him to the states. And that she wants to go with him. Both of them.”

“What the fuck Chan, you can’t let her do that.” Felix’s words tumble out of his mouth before he can stop them.  “She can’t just walk out of your life and take Mina with her. We have to call Seungmin, he’ll know what to do, he can have whatever paperwork ready first thing in the morning. She can’t take your kid.”

Felix moves to get up, to make that call to Seungmin, the self-righteous anger for Chan burning through him. How dare she. Chan tightens his grip, aborting Felix’s movement.

“Do you think it’s worth it?” Chan whispers. “What if- what if she’s right? What if Mina’s better off without me?”

His voice sounds so small and uncertain, Felix feels his heart clench.

“Chan, look at me.”  He stills the hand rubbing over Chan’s shoulders to nudge at his chin and force eye contact.

 

Felix loves Chan so much. As he takes in the sight of Chan on top of him, it’s hard not to imagine if this was them all the time. If Chan had fallen in love with Felix instead.

I would be a good wife, Felix thinks to himself. I wouldn’t let you doubt yourself.

But right now, Chan doesn’t need a wife. He needs a friend. And Felix is a good friend, Chan’s best friend, so he’s not going to let Chan get trapped in this spiral of self-loathing.  

“Of course it’s worth it. You’re her dad! Mina loves you, she needs you in her life. You can’t - you can’t be thinking like this.”

The weight of Chan’s stare is starting to get to Felix, he can feel a hot flush creeping up his neck and he’s sure his ears are bright red. Chan shouldn’t be able to see that from his position though. Finally averting his gaze from Chan’s face, he wills his heart rate to go down and once more starts stroking comfortably at his shoulders.

“Chan, you have to fight this. It’s one thing if she wants a divorce, but Mina’s your daughter, you can’t just let Sooyoung take her away.”

Quiet settles between them, Chan turning his face back in Felix’s chest, his hand falling into a steady rhythm, stroking over Chan’s back. In his head, Felix is running through a list of things they need to do once Chan has calmed down. Felix won’t let Chan’s insecurity cost him a relationship with his daughter.

The oven timer dings, rousing Felix from his train of thought.

Felix hesitantly moves them both to sit up right, patting at Chan’s head when he makes a whining noise at the back of his throat.

“Sorry. But I can’t let the cookies burn.”

Chan settles back into the couch, grumbling.

Call Seungmin. Korea is Mina’s home. Her family, her friends are here. Any halfway decent judge will be able to see how destabilizing a move would be for Mina and grant you primary custody. You just have to fight it.”

“But what if, I mean, my job. Sooyoung wasn’t wrong , there’s a reason why I didn’t notice until I was too late. What if, what if they decide I’m not enough.”

“Hyung, have you ever heard the phrase, it takes a village? Me, Minho-hyung, Jeongin-ah, all the guys, your family, we’re your village. Every one of us adores Mina and would do anything to help out. You have to let us help you but we can’t do that if you don’t help yourself. Call-

Call Seungmin. Yeah, I hear you." He sounds exasperated and fond all at once. " You know, you always know exactly what to say to make me feel better.”

Felix carefully slides the sheet out of the oven, ignoring the way his heart flutters.

“Felix?”

“Yeah?”

“I mean it. Thank you for… for everything. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

Felix hums in response, continuing to move the cookies from the tray onto the cooling rack. A melody plays in the back of his head, achingly familiar at this point in his life.

“You know I love you, right?” Chan’s voice floats through the space, sincere.

We would have been perfect, if only God had wanted it.

Felix sighs to himself. It's everything and nothing all at once.

“Of course Chan. I love you too.”


This fic has been converted for free using AOYeet!

Notes:

me, all the time: i love chanlix angst but it has to have a happy ending
also me: *writes and posts this*

as always my twitter 18 only, follow at ur own risk