Work Text:
Yuri sits on the park bench waiting for Viktor to finish a phone call a couple of feet away. Whilst people-watching; Yuri notices a couple near Viktor having a picnic date, a family of four hanging around the monkey bars, two kids studying the dirt for bugs, a couple of parents on the other park benches, and Viktor’s flailing arms –wait what?
Glancing to double-check, Yuri frowns at Viktor –clearly reading a text –and his arms flailing in panic. Concerned, Yuri stands and makes his way to him and ready to call out a question. Before he could blink, Yuri chokes on air.
Viktor grabs the arm of the woman having a date –Yuri noticing she’s blonde –and drags her with him, running down the street.
…
What
The
Fuck?
“Yuri! We have to rush!” He distinctly hears Viktor crying.
Yuri face-palms and he’s sure some people turn to him and look at him like he’s lost it. Yuuri would probably do the same –you can’t blame either of them!
“H-HEY!” The man…oh wait shit, that’s the woman’s husband (or boyfriend).
“WAIT!” Yuri calls out, running to him since Viktor’s life and reputation depends on it, literally.
The man looks hella confused as he glares at Yuri –he can’t blame him, really. His papa just kidnapped this poor man’s wife (Yuri sees the ring).
“Before you kill him! Before you kill him!” Yuri holds his hands up to try and reassure the man that he comes in peace. “I promise you, he did not kidnap your wife, sir. I’m very sorry for what the fuck he’s done!”
The man glances at where Viktor ran and back to Yuri. “W-What? He literally just ran off with her like a wild animal!”
“I am very, unfortunately aware.” Yuri sighs looking at the sky before his head bows down and his eyes close with embarrassment. “He’s my father…”
A few seconds of silence pass, Yuri can’t bring himself to open his eyes, but he hears the man shuffling.
“…He mistook my wife for you, didn’t he?”
Yuri’s eyes shoot open and he looks at the man in bewilderment. He’s smiling and shaking his head, hands on his waist.
“…Uh, yes.” Yuri gives a slow nod.
The man chuckles. “As a father myself, I can’t say I didn’t do that before.” He laughs.
Yuri holds back his own unexpected laughter. “Really?”
“Yup. Just…reassure me here, is my wife okay?”
“Oh, yeah! Don’t worry. He’s probably rushing home for dinner.” Yuri laughs, shaking his head at Viktor’s antics. “I was over on the bench so he probably just decided any blond is his son.”
They share a laugh before Yuri helps the man pick up the picnic.
“I’m sorry your date had to end sooner.”
“Please don’t! This is probably the funniest ending ever.” He smiles. “We were already done, just decided to sit and talk.”
With that, Yuri leads the way to his home as the man, the latter sharing the story of the time he accidentally took the wrong kid from the park.
They just hope the woman isn’t hurt by accident or terrified.
“Don’t worry, Yura! We’ll make it in time for dinner! This traffic won’t stop us, ok…ay?”
Viktor looks to his left to find an amused, smiling woman beside him, holding in her laughter. Glancing down, he sees his hand wrapped around her wrist. Looking back up at her, Viktor’s eyes are wide as he glances between her and their house across the street.
“…I took the wrong blond…” He mutters.
The woman starts laughing, pulling her hand away from his grasp to rub his back.
“Viktor! Seriously?!” Yuuri cries.
“I was rushing! I didn’t pay attention!” Viktor tries to reason.
“You grabbed a whole woman for twenty minutes –I’m so sorry, ma’am!” Yuuri turns to the woman who is smiling knowingly with her husband as Yuri enjoys the show with the small snacks the man gave him on the way.
“It’s okay! It’s okay!” The woman is quick to reassure. “We’re parents ourselves, we’ve had this moment.”
“Here, please. As an apology.” Yuuri hands her a plate of their dinner enough for four (finding out they have two kids).
“You don’t have to apologize.” She says, grabbing the plate. “Many parents do this by accident.”
“Just be happy Viktor didn’t grab a non-parent.” Yuri jokes.
“And be glad your son stopped me.” The man adds.
Viktor is dramatically crying in the corner as Yuuri and Yuri say a final apology and bid farewell to the couple.
Yuuri closes the door, lips pursed, hand still on the knob as Yuri sits on the couch with Makkachin, ready for the conversation.
Viktor stutters before trying to save himself. “I can explain!”
“Vitya…you accidentally mistook our son for a grown woman because she’s blonde!” Yuuri looks stressed but Yuri can tell he’s slightly amused.
“As you said! Accidentally!”
“You dragged her for twenty minutes! Twenty!”
“I’m sorry! I was in a rush to get home!”
“How do you forget you left Yuri on the bench?!”
Yuri is forgotten, happily, on the couch with his head (and Makkachin and Potya’s) going side to side to each argument.
“I thought he was walking with me!”
“Since when does Yuri have any interest in business calls?”
“You sent the text immediately after so it left my mind!” Viktor shrugs.
Yuuri sighs, hands pinching either side of his nose. “Viktor…please just,” He pauses. “Next time, make sure you grab the right blond from the park.”
“I will! Promise!” Viktor turns to Yuri. “Yura, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to leave you behind!”
“You dragging that poor woman reassures me enough that you won’t abandon me like my mother.” Yuri slowly bites into the last of his snack.
“YURI-” Yuuri cries.
“YURA PLEASE! I didn’t mean any of that!” Viktor is practically sobbing.
But Yuri can’t bring himself to care. This is blackmail, entertainment, and reassurance that Viktor would never leave him. Oh, and Yuuri’s meals are loved by all and can solve any problem.
“I’m never letting you live this down.” Yuri laughs.
“No please!” Viktor begs.
“Do it,” Yuuri encourages. “I-I just, can’t.” He lets out a breathless laugh, amused at the finale of this wonderful day.
“I hate Karma.” Viktor stands by the corner again, mushrooms growing.
Yuuri and Yuri laugh at him as Makkachin barks in an attempt to comfort him. Potya just licks Yuri’s hand, not caring.
A day to remember indeed.