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Chapter Text

When I was a man I thought it ended
When I knew love's perfect ache
But my peace has always depended
On all the ashes in my wake
All you have is your fire
And the place you need to reach
Don't you ever tame your demons
But always keep 'em on a leash
(Arsonist’s Lullaby - Hozier)

Sunday, August 16, 2015.

The beautiful sunset over the rocks above the temple entrance, the trouble with the jiangshi and the whip being used with magic and the sudden fire, and a last beer under the stars, around the campfire, had been a farewell worthy of the place that had turned almost everyone's lives upside down.

Zhao Yunlan and Wu Xie were determined not to sleep and enjoy that last night before they had to say goodbye for a few days. Though that didn't work, they had fallen asleep as soon as they'd found the bed and pillow.

From the Taklamakan Desert to Hangzhou, it was a journey of almost fifty hours.

The team (which at that point included the SID Chief) got up before sunrise to meet the support team and give them all the necessary instructions before they hit the road - that old van had been to so many places and withstood so many adversities that the vehicle was also an indispensable part of the team. Or, in Hei Xiazi's words, it was like The Mystery Machine, which he had to explain was Scooby-Doo's van, because not everyone had watched enough cartoons to understand the joke.

Despite the long drive, with six people sharing the wheel, it was a little less tiring - except that it wasn't the most relaxing thing in the world to sleep in the crowded van with Pangzi singing and Hei Xiazi encouraging - or initiating - any kind of chaos possible. It was not by chance that Xiao Hua often needed silence and a cup of tea for a headache after an expedition with his husband.

Well, maybe not exactly six people to share the wheel. Xiaoge was banned because he forgot some traffic rules that he couldn't forget when he was on an official road. Zhao Yunlan was banned because he knew the traffic rules and deliberately broke them, starting with speeding. Hei Xiazi was banned before trying because nobody wanted that gremlin behind the wheel unless it was a last resort. That left Pangzi and Liu Sang, who were utterly competent at driving, and Wu Xie, who had two sides, one as chaotic as Xiazi and Yunlan and the other who looked like a cautious old man taking children in the car - and luckily, at least that, he knew when to use.

Taking the road together gave the team more time to interact with Zhao Yunlan, as they had been doing most nights around the campfire. Especially Pangzi had countless things to tell and ask, like a mother getting to know her son-in-law better, only much more lively and fun.

Of the worries Pangzi had, he didn't show any, remaining a mystery even to those who had already confabulated about him being thoughtful lately.

Even for Liu Sang, all the mess of the trip was welcome - although he needed the earphones to reduce the noise, - but it was still a pleasant moment now, because even when the trip was over, he would still be at home surrounded by those same people. He wasn't alone anymore, he had those loud and protective friends - family. He and Xiaoge longed to be home, but they were at an impasse before they went to sleep the night before: they lived in the same house, so when they returned, they would be in separate rooms. Deciding that they'd figure out what to do in a practical way once they were home, they finally slept. Or not necessarily.

After six hours of travel and a break at a roadside restaurant for lunch and to stretch the body, the team was determined to find a hotel when night fell, when they calculated that they would be passing through the city of Jiuquan, in Gansu Province. 

At the restaurant, Zhao Yunlan had made sure to hold hands with Wu Xie, hug him by the shoulders and waist, and be absolutely clingy. A very successful test. Wu Xie not only allowed it, he was entirely fine with public displays of affection and didn't mind the eyes of strangers on them at all. That was completely out of the standards for most of the country, only in metropolises and among younger, more liberal couples, was it becoming more common to see - but rarely if ever with a same-sex couple. When Yunlan had said that he would like it to be like that between them in Hangzhou and Longcheng as well, Wu Xie had simply smiled 'and why would it be any different?'

And so, they were back on the road.

With Liu Sang driving and Xiaoge sitting in the front seat with him, the rest of the team tried to settle in the back of the van, which turned out not to be difficult, with Zhao Yunlan sitting between his boyfriend's legs, using Wu Xie's chest as a pillow for his back. Wu Xie had discovered in recent days that, apparently, being a pillow, cushion, mattress, and blanket were boyfriend functions.

In those long hours of travel, Zhao Yunlan was perfectly happy. He let himself forget about anything other than simple human nonsense. The crazy tomb raider who, in other times not many years ago, would have been his circumstantial enemy, was where all his joy was at that moment. Wu Xie had his arms around his shoulders and his hands crossed over his chest, clinging and comfortable, in post-lunch laziness.

When Zhao Yunlan's phone rang and he reached to hang up, deciding to ignore the call, he saw the black cat's name on the screen, "A-Xie," he sought his boyfriend's attention, "it's my fat cat, by video call..."

"Aren't you going to pick it up? He must be worried," Wu Xie spoke softly, the ringing of the phone hadn't disturbed his laziness.

Yunlan had decided beforehand that he would not take Wu Xie to Longcheng because he still didn't know what the SID's reaction to Wu Xie's appearance might be - and especially the cat's reaction. But he himself was looking more and more at this man who was his partner now - and who he hoped would remain so - and what had seemed identical before, now clearly was not. A little resemblance resided in a few facial features and nothing else, just nothing more. However, if he wanted to make sure how wrong or accurate his impressions were, letting another person who had known Shen Wei also see Wu Xie was one way to help with that. And he would never trust anyone as much as he trusted the cat. He just hoped that Da Qing wouldn't have a reaction that alarmed Wu Xie too much.

"Is it okay if I take the cat call with you together?"

"At some point I'm going to have to go through the Deputy Chief's approval to be able to stay with you, no?" Wu Xie smiled and Zhao Yunlan needed no more than that, finally answering the call, the cat's round black face appearing on the screen, his big feline eyes so clear in contrast. Da Qing didn't look happy, but he never did, so nothing was alarming.

"Good to know you're still alive there, idiot master," and then Da Qing paused for a moment, moving his head to get a better look at what was in front of him on the screen, "Oh, hello, idiot master's boyfriend. I bet you're responsible for keeping the idiot alive. He sucks, but I bet you know that too. I should let you know in advance that I don't accept returns, the idiot is all yours now."

Wu Xie chuckled, squeezing Zhao Yunlan a little tighter in his arms.

"Hello Deputy Chief, nice to meet you. I hope I'm not interrupting a work call."

"No work. I just wanted to see the idiot's face and make sure he still hasn't managed to get himself killed in some ridiculous way. Zhao Yunlan, aren't you ashamed of yourself lying there all slack, sprawled over your boyfriend instead of taking care of him? Who am I kidding, you don't even take care of me..."

"I was raised by a lazy fat damn cat, what did you expect from me? Who do you think I learned that from?"

The cat heard a different voice coming from the side of the screen where he couldn't see, the seat next to Wu Xie:

"Chief Zhao is taking in Wu Xie like a cat takes in an owner, sure enough; always lying on his lap, being petted and hissing at anything that tries to steal what's his. No surprise to learn that he was raised by an actual cat. I'm going to text Xiao Hua to tell him this, a lot of things will make sense in this context..."

"Xiexie, your friends are confirming my thoughts on the case," Da Qing blurted out that way of addressing the man, but it was inevitable to think of him that way, especially when he had first met him with a very similar name.

"Eh, what's with 'Xiexie'?! Don't get too intimate!" Zhao Yunlan scolded, but he was holding back to know Wu Xie's reaction to that.

"Yunlan, don't be jealous. If the Deputy Chief raised you, I must have his blessing." Wu Xie was just absolutely happy to finally meet the talking cat who was Deputy Chief of the Guardian Order no less. Some things about him would always reflect the happy child listening to stories from his uncle.

"Zhao Yunlan, just by that statement, Xiexie already proves that he is smarter than you. Xiexie, are you sure you want to keep this crap? I bet there are better people in the world." But Da Qing knew, if those two were together, it was supposed to last a lifetime. He only feared that reality had taken a turn for the worse after what they had been through a few years before and all the things it might entail. He feared that Wu Xie might be ripped away from Zhao Yunlan the same way Shen Wei had been.

"Ah, Deputy Chief, I really just want this one." The cat had no doubts about Wu Xie's answer.

"Okay. It's at your own risk, he's a lot of work, but there must be something worth it if you like him so much, I just haven't figured that one out yet..."

"Damn cat, you called just to bother my boyfriend?!"

"If I call you, naturally I'm also calling your boyfriend. It's like those things you buy on set, you can't separate them. Xiexie, are you coming to Longcheng? I should prepare  a place for you in my cat house by the window?"

"I will, but not this time. But I appreciate the offer of the cat house.”

"Are you trying to trick my a-Xie into giving you twice as much milk and fish, fat fuck?!”

"Yunlan, you have such a dirty mouth..." Wu Xie giggled.

"You don't complain about my dirty mouth when-"

"Oh, please, not again. I'm going to hang up, my feline ears don't need this shamelessness! Xiexie, take care of the idiot - unfortunately, the Department still needs him in one piece." Without further ado, the cat ended the call. He was relieved to finally see Zhao Yunlan with that person, yet deeply puzzled: how could Zhao Yunlan not remember Wu Xie if he had his godly memory?

…

Jiuquan, Gansu Province, China.

It was almost 8pm when the team made it to the hotel in Jiuquan. They opted for a more comfortable hotel in the city, instead of a roadside hotel - no matter how accustomed they were to sleeping in tents, on the ground, on rocks, and bathing in the river, lake, bucket - when bathing was possible, - they still yearned for a bed and a good shower now and then.

At the hotel reception, Hei Xiazi and Zhao Yunlan were arguing with the receptionist, because the woman had seen six men entering the hotel and they were requesting three rooms, of which two were double bed rooms. Liu Sang and Xiaoge were oblivious to that, already on the other side of the street looking at the window of a store that had caught their attention.

Pangzi would usually be in the middle of that discussion, but he had preferred to go to the van and get some of the backpacks they would all need for the night. Wu Xie had followed him, with the excuse of helping - not that he also didn't need to pack his and his boyfriend's things to take to the hotel room, when the receptionist stopped picking on them.

"Pangzi," Wu Xie called out to his friend as he organized his and Zhao Yunlan's things into the same backpack, "you've been quiet lately. This is a lot unlike you. What's going on?"

"Aiyo, Tianzhen," Pangzi had his face almost buried inside one of the backpacks so as not to look directly at Wu Xie, "I'm fine, just tired. You all scare me at least fifteen times a day, but this whole thing of everyone dating is a whole new category of scaring old Pang-ye."

"As if I didn't know you very well..."

"Tianzhen, look, I can't believe that Xiaoge started talking some more and seems quite happy now. I never thought that I would see our Xiaoge in love - and I know that a lot of people don't care about that, don't care about relationships, you yourself were like that before, - but for him, it made a difference.”

"If you're not worried about him, then the problem is with me?"

"Xiaoge is dating our Sang Bei'er, the boy has been ours for a few years, the two know each other very well and they don't even need to make decisions about moving in together, because they already live together. What I mean..." Pangzi gestured wildly. "How are you going to do it? Chief Zhao can't live in Wushanju with the mobsters - even if we're retired, - can he?"

Wu Xie chuckled, "Is that really what you're worried about?"

"And what else would that be?! You and him are that thing with no other way, even the cat already approved the union!" Behind the nonsense, Pangzi's true reasons would still remain his alone. He couldn't tell Wu Xie now and he just didn't want to tell the others - he would tell Hei Xiazi, the moment he was sure that he wouldn't worry a happy and in love Xiaoge with that story.

"We're still talking about where and how we're going to live. Together," Wu Xie was honest about that, even though it was so recent, "we know we want to live together."

"You wanted to get into each other's pants the moment you saw each other. I was there as a witness. No surprise that you want to move in together after ten days. That's burning love, Tianzhen. High quality burning love! But, come on here," he said in a confident tone, hugging Wu Xie's shoulders with one arm, "The man is a widower and he will have problems for that, many more than he has. It's a sensitive thing, Tianzhen. You are kind, I know. You have to keep being patient with his problems, not get upset, you know?”

"This pain he carries is part of him. I like him the way he is, but I want him to get over the pain, not because I'm bothered about Shen Wei - I'm not," Wu Xie confessed, "but because I want Yunlan to live well and not sink into suffering. He will always love Shen Wei, and that is not a problem. The problem is that he, today, has Shen Wei as his weakness, but he needs to learn to make the love and memories he has of Shen Wei his strength."

"Eh, Tianzhen, you're saying some wise things there. Keep that way of thinking." I need to understand what's been happening to you since we got back from the mountains. You've changed again, you're much more like the Tianzhen of the past, only more mature… but that really naive and kind person I met… you were so young and so shy. Your look is similar to the look you had back then, but immensely happier now that you have him… What did I see that day?... 

…

The city lights glowed in different colors, from the tall buildings, from the neon signs, from the shop windows. It might be a little sad, if they thought that, the night before, they were under a spectacular sky in Taklamakan, far from any artificial lights, able to see infinite constellations. But, in reality, there was also a certain pleasure in those artificial lights when you spent a long time underground, without seeing all the possible lights - created by nature or by man.

When they got out of the van, while the others took the lead to deal with matters at the hotel, Xiaoge's eyes were soon on the shop across the street, where he had taken Liu Sang, with a protective arm around the waist of the auburn-haired boy.

In the showcase decorated with yellow lights, various old things were displayed. Lamps, tea sets, vinyl records, typewriters, things from fifty or a hundred years ago.

"Do you like these?" Although Liu Sang worked with a lot of technology, he found things in the analogue world much more beautiful.

"I really do," Xiaoge replied, as his eyes roamed over all the things in the window, stopping at the same place Liu Sang's eyes were: the gramophone, "this is my favorite. But I don't even remember ever having heard music on one of these..."

"If I remember correctly, there's one of these kept in one of the upstairs rooms in Wushanju. If Wang Meng didn't do some big cleaning and decided to throw it away while we were on expedition."

"I'll look for it as soon as we get home."

"If it's still there, we can get it back up and running, can't we?"

"Won't the sound of the gramophone bother your ears?"

"Music on the gramophone is beautiful and an almost lost luxury... I would love to hear it again. Especially with you." As Liu Sang snuggled up to his boyfriend, his attention was captured by the man's heartbeat. Irregular beats, a racing heart. Restless, but not unhappy. He closed his eyes and let himself drift into those heartbeats - it was just rare to hear that man's heartbeat so clearly. "So that's it," he said quietly, "we'll listen to gramophone music together when we get home. Maybe we could take this out into the garden? They like to dance..."

Hearing this, Xiaoge's heart raced even faster. It was happy and desperate at the same time. He turned and kissed the auburn hair fervently.

"Yes, we will do that. There are many things... that we still have to do..."

Time had been forgotten.

…

A short time later, Hei Xiazi and Zhao Yunlan had made arrangements with the hotel receptionist and they had room keys in their hands. Soon, the entire team gathered in the lobby.

"Gods forbid anyone pester me about sleeping in the double bed room when my Xiao Hua is together!" Hei Xiazi handed the keys to Xiage, while Zhao Yunlan already had the keys to his and Wu Xie's room.

…

Zhao Yunlan watched Wu Xie taking from his backpack the things they both needed for a bath - few, since clean clothes were something that was not left, so the hotel robes would be most welcome.

Their things. Stored in the same backpack. For a brief moment, he wondered if that whole story would end well after the expedition to his old home, to the Palace of Heaven, and so, their things could soon, who knows, be stored in the same closet. In the same house. In the same life.

Shen Wei's things were all still there. All the clothes in the closet, all the books on the shelf, the glasses in the bedside table drawer... not a single thing had been moved since Shen Wei left. His tea china was still waiting for the Professor's careful hands to pour the cups.

That wouldn't happen anymore. Zhao Yunlan knew this. And even so, he wasn't willing to move any of Shen Wei's things from where they were. That was his home - even if he was never going to go back there.

In the hotel room, watching Wu Xie now, Zhao Yunlan knew: Wu Xie would not ask him to make room in his life by removing what was Shen Wei's. He would probably never say a word to him about where or how Shen Wei's things were, he would never make a complaint about that. 

Zhao Yunlan was learning what kind of person Wu Xie really was. And he regretted, even though it seemed meaningless, that Shen Wei and Wu Xie had never had the chance to get to know each other. He forgot, at that moment, about how jealous Shen Wei was - not that he was any different - but he really wasn't thinking of the case that, now, Wu Xie was his partner. All that had occurred to him was simply that Shen Wei had always been very lonely, and maybe he had been able to like someone as weird as Wu Xie. Perhaps.

But Zhao Yunlan would never know. He could never find out if Shen Wei would slowly learn to have his own friends and let other people into his life, even just a little bit.

At the temple, Wu Xie had said that he was not a good person. Zhao Yunlan did not believe that. Or he just didn't care about the path Wu Xie had taken to get there. All he saw now was a kind and loving person who had shared a tent, friends and his own heart with him.

“Yunlan, what are you thinking about?” When Yunlan noticed, Wu Xie had already guided him to the bathroom door and started unbuttoning his shirt. And as Zhao Yunlan remained silent, his boyfriend nudged him back to reality.

Zhao Yunlan had to think quickly of something else other than incalculable amounts of feelings for his departed husband and the boyfriend who was there with him.

“About the Judge,” he said, letting the jacket and shirt slip off his shoulders, then he took his hands to the hem of Wu Xie's shirt, removing it, “that little shit still hasn’t answered me.” The Judge of Hell might be a good topic to distract from the rest.

"Maybe you should give him more money," Wu Xie suggested, while unbuttoning the other's pants. Not even the slightest trace of shamelessness on his face. He really looked forward to getting to a real shower. Furthermore, removing Zhao Yunlan's pants was always easy and quick. He had never complained.

“Oh, is this serious? He's the one who owes me favors for not screwing up all of Hell - and hey, I got the chance!" He kicked his own boots to get rid of his pants completely.

“You know, you could tell me that story…” Wu Xie would definitely strip for Zhao Yunlan in exchange for hearing that story, if he wasn't already undressing for another purpose. Unfortunately, seduction wasn't an option in this case.

“One day I will tell you, I promise.” Hugging his naked boyfriend, Zhao Yunlan pulled him into the bathroom, letting go of only one hand to reach the shower handle.

“Okay, got it…” Wu Xie barely tested the water temperature before stepping under the shower, bringing Zhao Yunlan with him. At first, warm water was always weird after spending a lot of time camping or underground or inside caves. His slight discomfort to adjust, however, was mistaken for discomfort by the answer his boyfriend had just given him.

“A-Xie…” Zhao Yunlan started, while Wu Xie's hands were already bringing the soap to slide on his body with the warm water, “it's because of Shen Wei that I don't want to talk about it right now. It's a long story… everything that happened leading up to his death. And I…" His confusion was clear, faced with the feelings caused by the matter mixed with the sensations caused by Wu Xie's hands. He was addicted to the touch of those hands, his soothing and his teasing.

“You don't have to explain yourself when you don't want to talk about what hurts you. It's okay. You already said a lot to me in the temple. Keep it in your heart when you need it." Wu Xie reached the other's lips for a soft kiss as he continued his task with the soap. 'Shen Wei' wasn't a subject that even he wanted to bring up right now, because it had also started to give him feelings that he was too tired to think about at the moment. Longing was a feeling that shouldn’t be there. It didn’t make sense. And so, he went on in the caresses on his boyfriend’s skin.

Zhao Yunlan valued Wu Xie's respect for his time - he was only persistent in any matter when he felt it was essential to Zhao Yunlan's own well-being or their relationship. With soap suds smeared all over his body, he slipped into another embrace under the water, his hands bringing suds to every part of Wu Xie's skin he could reach, caressing and massaging, teasing and relaxing at the same time.

"You're too good for me," he whispered behind his boyfriend's ear, kissing the wet skin slowly.

Wu Xie shivered all over, his tired body looking even more sensitive than usual.

“You are my first real boyfriend, very well stated as such. And obviously, this has a reason. I didn’t live thirty-eight years without it for nothing.” 'Without it' had a dubious meaning, when the contact between their bodies, the hands that spread soap suds and the mouths kissing and nibbling what they reached for each other's necks and shoulders, had already made the desire grow to a point without return.

“This intrigues me too much.” Zhao Yunlan said, between kissing his boyfriend's mouth and nibbling his neck again. Water washed most of the soap and suds on their bodies and Yunlan reached for the bath oil instinctively, without stopping what his mouth was doing.

"What?" The question came more in a soft moan than words. Those moans came a little louder when he felt his boyfriend’s hands sliding the bath oil over his body.

“Your team says the same thing, that you haven't had someone serious before and you never cared about these things.” He lowered his hands to caress Wu Xie's thighs, while his mouth traced kisses down the other's chest to a nipple, which he held between his lips, nibbling there too, only to hear a louder moan from the other. Wu Xie's lack of control over the sounds he made when he felt pleasure was a delicious turn on for Zhao Yunlan, his arousal only growing. “What has changed?" he asked with his lips still grazing that nipple, before taking it all into his mouth, licking and biting.

Wu Xie's fingers dug into his boyfriend's sodden hair, wanting to keep him doing exactly what he was doing - and wondering how the hell Zhao Yunlan expected him to manage to reply coherently. He tried, though. Even with the shaky voice and broken moans.

“What has changed… is that you appeared in my life. I have no other explanation. I spent a lot of time before… going from one adventure to the next, I didn't have room for that in my life. Then there was a pause, and even then I didn't feel like meeting anyone or trying anything with anyone who was interested in me...” He nearly jumped when Zhao Yunlan brought a hand up to his groin. He took a deep breath to be able to keep talking without cursing, but the way that hand was touching him made it a hard task. “I think it's been over twelve or thirteen years… since I stopped letting people in to see what was wrong with me." But nothing felt wrong now.

Hearing that, Zhao Yunlan stopped biting his boyfriend's already abused nipple to lift his face and glare at him.

“Wait, it’s been all this time…?” The question died in the middle, the other didn't need to hear it all to understand, especially given what they were doing right now and where Zhao Yunlan's hand was playing, not stopping for the sake of conversation.

“Yeah, it's been all this time I've been living in peace… with no attempts at relationships. No sex. If I don't feel like it, why did I need to have someone? Well, I didn't…” Wu Xie looked at his partner through the water falling between them. He was outstandingly beautiful, nothing less. But even more than that, he was an exceptionally amazing man, in ways that Wu Xie had never known before – that he had never felt before. And, in all his life, he had never wanted anyone's lustful eyes. But right now, he yearned for Zhao Yunlan's lustful eyes. “Now, though, it seems that…” When he tried to continue talking, Zhao Yunlan's body pressed against his under the shower again, the hand that caressed him going further. Wu Xie gasped and tried to go on, his voice lowering while speaking, but loud when moaning. Contradicting mess of pleasure. “It's a bit exaggerated what I'm going to say... damn it, everything's been crazy since you came along... It seems like, all this time, I didn't feel like having anything with anybody… because I was waiting for you. It feels like everything I haven't felt my whole life has come to light all at once with you."

Waiting for me… why does this make so much sense? It makes sense, but it also… creates a terrible parallel.

"You really like your trash boyfriend, don't you?" Zhao Yunlan said quietly in his boyfriend's ear, as his fingers slid gentle caresses between Wu Xie's thighs, slowly touching the sensitive skin, slipping easily in the oil-slicked body, stimulating.

“Yeah, I like this guy. And don't say my boyfriend is trash, I think he's amazing." Wu Xie's mind was starting to go blank, his voice starting to crack as he panted with every movement of Zhao Yunlan's fingers. His hands went to grip his boyfriend's shoulders tightly, fingers curling as his head fell back.

"He sucks and you should kick him soon, you're too good for him." Zhao Yunlan seized the opportunity, neck curved so gracefully, offered so easily when the other was distracted in his own delight, it was all his to mark a little more than he already had all these days.

“No, I disagree, he's really amazing. I'm crazy about him.” Wu Xie tilted his head further as he felt the rough kiss in the base of his neck, - teeth scratching and tongue soothing, - in contrast to the fingers gently stroking deeper between his legs.

“What did he do that was so good?” Zhao Yunlan asked, silky, as he ran his tongue over the bruised skin he had just marked - a claim that should last for the time he couldn't be with his boyfriend in Hangzhou.

Wu Xie giggled softly, his answer was sweet rather than seductive, “He hugged me the other day and told me to sleep together. And he didn't try anything… He was adorable.” But his hips slowly rocking to get a better feel of his boyfriend's body was definitely sensual. He held his breath for a moment as he felt the fingers deeper the more he restlessly moved his hips.

"Were you glad he didn't try to fuck you?" Zhao Yunlan stifled a laugh, kissing Wu Xie's face - who was the really adorable one over there.

“I would have given in if he had tried… because I've liked him since I saw him, but…” He would have given in that first night, he had no doubt of that. He had liked Zhao Yunlan so much, that he would have indulged in the one thing he used to hate and wouldn't do with other people: simple casual sex. Because he wanted to remember that man's entire embrace, assuming he couldn't really have him. But, much to his delight, they'd only had sex after saying how much they really cared about each other - and that they wanted more than just one night. “Yeah, I was glad he said 'let's go to sleep'... and then we actually slept. I felt that… he didn't waste my trust. I really like him a lot… And I know I'm going to miss him because he has to go back to work now." All the words came interspersed with moans and sighs, he wanted to say everything and he wanted to go far beyond words - all at the same time. When Wu Xie tried to lift one leg to wrap around his boyfriend's hips, the hand that caressed him was retracted, while Zhao Yunlan's other hand guided him to turn his back to him, making him rest his hands on the tiled wall. Wu Xie didn't have any protests to make, the mixture of the relaxation that the water falling on his back caused, with the anticipation he felt from his stomach to his lower abdomen was extremely pleasant.

“It's a good thing he only works two and a half hours away from your house. He will come back to you soon.” With his hands gripping the sides of his partner's hips, Zhao Yunlan leaned forward until his chest touched Wu Xie's back and his lips reached his boyfriend's ear, teasing the earlobe as he insinuated his body against his. “He won't be able to stay away from you for long,” Zhao Yunlan panted as he buried his face between his partner's shoulder blades, trying not to lose his mind as he felt Wu Xie's welcoming warmth around him.

"You think?" Wu Xie was in no condition to say much more, biting his hand to prevent the loud sounds that escaped his throat when sensations overwhelmed him. After all they'd done with very little means, - in the tent, in the middle of the desert - having that a little smoother in the warm shower was a delicious luxury.

"I'm sure." It took a slow, careful thrust, to fit better with his partner. A little bit more and Zhao Yunlan was breathless for a moment, feeling Wu Xie like that was, sometimes, too much. He was all his. Just as Wu Xie had already told him - more than once - that he liked to be.

Wu Xie felt it burning. He tried to move his hips back to get more, but Zhao Yunlan's grip pinned him in place.

"Shh, a-Xie.. be kind to yourself," he whispered against the back of his boyfriend's neck, between kisses. People called him shameless – well, they were right, – but they had no idea who Wu Xie was when he wanted something – and it was only Zhao Yunlan's fault for having indulged him to try whatever he wanted to. 

"I'm being kind enough waiting for you to thrust deep inside of me..." And keeping him patient when he wanted what he wanted was a hard task. 

Zhao Yunlan laughed with his face in the other's wet hair, - and then he was the one with the dirty mouth?

"Thirteen years without sex, really? Is that what made you so needy and greedy?" Still carefully, he steadily rolled his hips, hands not letting Wu Xie move by himself yet.

"No,” Wu Xie muttered, continuing to bite his hand, “What makes me needy and greedy… is you ." Another wave of pleasure hit him as his boyfriend finally released his hips and let him move as he wanted, sinuously against him, one hand sliding forward to touch him, stroking slowly. No more coherent words would come from there.

What a naive thought, to believe that, even tired from the trip, they could have an innocent bath.

…

A completely happy Wu Xie came out of the bathroom, drying his hair with a towel, the plush robe wrapped around his damp body. The shower had lifted days of sand and heat off his shoulders and he felt light. The shower had also taken even longer than anticipated, because his boyfriend had decided just a little sex was still not enough fun for the first time they could share a real shower, with delightful water, soaps, shampoo, and all the scented things offered by the hotel. At that moment, Wu Xie didn't know if he was more fragrant or more satisfied - with the added bonus of having learned a few more tricks and being deliciously massaged.

He wanted to eat something and cuddle his boyfriend in bed until they fell asleep. He had no more plans, he was content with everything.

Zhao Yunlan came out of the bathroom next, the robe tied loosely around his waist, no desire to dry his hair, and an absolutely happy expression. Wu Xie turned to kiss him and bring the towel to his hair, taking care of his beloved disaster.

Resting his hands on his partner's waist, Zhao Yunlan was almost convincing himself to take Wu Xie to Longcheng with him for those days - he was almost getting rid of the strange feeling when he let the SID people look at him. If Da Qing had any thoughts about Wu Xie and Shen Wei's resemblance, either he had hidden it very well – something the cat usually couldn't do – or he hadn't thought much of it.

However, he remembered one thing, the little excuse he had given before the shower wasn't an excuse at all. And that thing knew something about Wu Xie.

“A-Xie, do you want to burn the money for that damn little thing?” he said suddenly, interrupting the care he received.

“Oh, do you want me to play the mobster with the Judge? I’d enjoy it!" Fortuitously, Wu Xie had the same kind of weird taste as Zhao Yunlan.

"Come here, sit with me. Let's see if that shit answers." Yunlan took Wu Xie's hand and guided him to the small table with two chairs near the balcony door. Wearing anything other than the robe or straightening the hair was completely unnecessary. The Judge didn't deserve any formality from him, in his opinion.

On the table, the urn with the Agni's Fire rested next to Zhao Yunlan's wallet. It was everything he needed.

Wu Xie sat straight on the chair next to him and just watched, from the beginning now. The Joss Paper and Hell Money burned in the urn's fire, the white, peculiar-scented smoke rising like incense, slowly immersing the room in a haze that smelled like paying respect to ancestors in an old temple. There were no ancestors to receive an offering. There was nothing, Wu Xie thought - nothing but Shen Wei. If Shen Wei was somewhere where the smell of incense could reach…

The smoke flickered, curling in on itself, becoming denser, at the point on the table in front of the urn. Taking shape. The same figure that Wu Xie had seen in the tent the night it rained in the camp, small and somewhat pathetic.

“Lord Guardian…” Bowing exaggeratedly as usual, the little creature raised his supernatural eyes while still keeping his head down, staring at Wu Xie. "Sir..."

“Yes, proceed. What were you going to call me?” Wu Xie had a much friendlier face towards the Judge than Zhao Yunlan had ever tried to have at any point in his life. Still, the little creature was very reluctant with him and it showed.

"Forgive me, I don't know your name, sir," the Judge hesitated.

“Oh. Have I never been judged in Hell?” Wu Xie crossed his legs, resting his hands on his lap, moving slightly forward, showing interest in whatever the Judge had to say. Zhao Yunlan thought that he might get more answers to his real questions if he just watched.

“Sir, be kind to this servant, I do not remember all the faces I have seen, although the gentleman has a remarkable appearance,” the little creature tried to sound sincere, but the discomfort was evidence of the omission.

"I'm sure you know me," Wu Xie smiled, as sincere as the Judge.

“My good lord, how can you say that?”

“What were you going to call me?” His smile disappeared and his voice didn't sound like an empty threat, or like a warning. It was something different, which made Zhao Yunlan immediately remember Nuwa - although sovereign, she was gentle. This was how Wu Xie sounded now.

"Sir, this good lord of mine…” The judge straightened up, finally showing willingness. But what came next was not what they were expecting. “...has no name to be addressed to."

"Don't you guys keep records of everything in Hell?" Wu Xie continued. Zhao Yunlan only reflected on that matter, because even if a soul didn't have a name, the Judge could simply address the person by the current life's name. Still, the Judge had said what he had.

"Yes sir. But…" Yet another hesitation.

"Don't be so quick to lie to me." This time there was an implicit warning.

"I would never dare, sir." The Judge lowered his head, expressing apologies.

“You sought out what the Lord Guardian asked of you, I believe. What did you get?” Wu Xie let go of the previous question and went straight to the pending matter.

“My good lord, I often omit what is merely relevant to Hell for administrative reasons, but this time, trust me: there is no trace of the Witch Tribe in Hell.” This time, the Judge faced Wu Xie with his head held high as he spoke, without pauses, without reluctance. “There are no records of souls or anything coming from this tribe and never have been. This tribe disappeared from our world before the Underworld was established as it is nowadays. And not even the oldest records hold anything about them. For us, they remain non-existent.” There was a confidence in that creature's speech that Zhao Yunlan had never experienced directed at him.

"That's not possible."

“He's not lying this time, Yunlan,” Wu Xie soothed, resting his hand on his boyfriend's knee. “Don't pick on him.”

“My gratitude for your consideration of this servant, sir.”

“Hm. What kind of creatures wouldn't go to Hell if they died?” Wu Xie asked, and whether this had to do with his own unregistered name or the Witch Tribe, Zhao Yunlan couldn't say.

“Ghosts, because they didn't have souls. Creatures that belong to another Wheel of Reincarnation either, even if they died within our territory. We don't want problems with the systems of other worlds. And also…” The Judge continued to avoid looking at Zhao Yunlan, but at that moment, he avoided Wu Xie too, for an instant. “...enlightened entities.”

“What are enlightened entities? Why have I never heard of it?” Now at last there was something intriguingly new for Yunlan.

“They are souls, Lord Guardian,” the Judge said, turning briefly to Zhao Yunlan, “Human souls with divine purposes. They are beyond us.”

Before Zhao Yunlan could think of the implication of 'beyond us', Wu Xie went on to ask:

“Could witches, even if not human, be enlightened entities?”

“I don't know, my good lord. Witches were demons, not humans or fairies.”

Demons.

“What would your personal view be on that?” At that, the Judge was surprised and turned completely to Wu Xie.

“My good lord is asking for my opinion?”

"Hm, I am."

“Oh… this is really very rare,” the small creature said to himself. Something seemed a little less dark about the Judge now. “Well… I believe it is possible for other beings to become enlightened entities. That depends on the system they are following and whether they have a soul. But it's just an opinion, I can't prove it.”

“You have some wisdom.” Wu Xie's expression softened back to its initial friendly appearance. “If you would stop lying to Lord Guardian, you might discover that you are a little better than you even believe yourself to be.”

Zhao Yunlan watched even more curiously - and more silently - than he had done up until then.

"Why would someone like my good lord, give any credit to a creature like me?" 

“You see right through me,” Wu Xie responded, but that wasn't all, “Do you believe I don't see right through you?”

The Judge lowered his head once more. As if he was ashamed of whatever Wu Xie could see there. In his usually expressionless eyes, there was a flicker. 

“Pardon, my good lord.” He clasped his hands in front of his face in a bow, emphasizing the sincerity of his apology. “This humble servant asks permission to withdraw, in case there is nothing else I can be of use to.”

Zhao Yunlan and Wu Xie looked at each other and Yunlan nodded for Wu Xie to proceed, having nothing he would like to add. Nothing that he didn't believe Wu Xie would say himself, although it was all even more unpredictable than he had imagined.

“You must go back and notify Lord Guardian if there is any news of the Witch Tribe in the Underworld. You have permission to withdraw.” Wu Xie dismissed him with a curt nod.

“My good lord. Lord Guardian.” Bowing to each of them, the small entity vanished into the smoke, faster than he came.

“A-Xie, what was that?” Zhao Yunlan stared at the fire still glowing in the urn for a moment, then closed the lid.

“I'm great at bluffing people of dubious character and conning greedy bastards. The Judge is not all bad, he is consumed by the corrupt system where he exists.” The explanation seemed obvious to Wu Xie.

"He respected you..." Yunlan muttered reflectively.

“Because I respected him. Even the worst in the mafia have a code of conduct, they are not ordinary criminals.” 

“Wu Xie.” Zhao Yunlan finally turned to the other, looking at him, trying to find out if he had really missed the real issue or was avoiding it.

“Hm?” He didn’t seem to be avoiding anything, though.

“He respected you. He lied to me, the Lord Guardian, he lied to the Ghost Slayer, who was an authority above him. Even in fear, he still lied - and the fear was apparent. He wasn't afraid of you, but he didn't fail you with the truth either." More than ever, Zhao Yunlan realized that it was deeper than he could see or think.

“You are excellent at putting pieces together and coming up with hypotheses that prove to be true. The Judge saw something in me the other time that intrigued him, but he didn't tell us. What did he see in me that made him talk to me the way he did this time? That's a question I can't answer, because I don't live in the same world as you, I don't understand the things you understand. But I was betting that if he talked to me, he could deliver something that was useful and he did: he delivered his behavior towards me.” If it were anyone else, they would be disturbed by it, but given who Wu Xie was - up until that point - it was just another common occurrence in his existence. However, it wasn't common for Zhao Yunlan, who knew Hell.

“I still don't know what that means, a-Xie. I need to think about it.”

“He looked a lot at my neck…” Wu Xie ran his fingers around the scar, but that wasn't what he was focused on.

“What?”

“We presented ourselves in front of the Judge of Hell like this , in bathrobes and full of sex marks. Maybe ‘fear’ is a very normal feeling for him, if compared to the awkwardness of us - or of literally getting the Lord Guardian without his pants…” Wu Xie elaborated, as he took his boyfriend's hands and made him stand up, guiding him to the other side of the room, near the bed.

“You’re not serious…” Zhao Yunlan disbelieved that Wu Xie would change the subject in such a ridiculous way. It reminded him of himself.

“Of course I’m not!” Wu Xie gave in, laughing. “I’m just trying to soothe your concerns. Yunlan, look, we need to order something to eat, so we can finally sleep in a big soft bed.” If that was the direction he preferred to take, Zhao Yunlan could perfectly follow him - the worries wouldn't go away anyway, but he could think about them later.

“I was thinking about a few activities in the big soft bed before we actually go to sleep…” He slid his fingers teasingly through the ribbon of Wu Xie's robe, slowly loosening the knot.

“Guess my tired old body will have to wait for its rest.” Wu Xie felt the edge of the bed on the back of his legs. One more move, and he would be where he wanted - but the way Zhao Yunlan wanted. “I’m up to whatever activities you may be thinking about.”

Yunlan let the untied ribbon fall to the floor, the robe opening to expose what he was looking for. There was a track from Wu Xie's neck to his chest, and his nipples were still red and slightly swollen from everything Zhao Yunlan had already done there. What he said was his tired old body was already getting aroused just from the teasing. Exactly how Zhao Yunlan wanted to see him.

Yunlan might be tired from the trip, tired of Hell's schemes, and tired of his own thoughts, but he was certain that he would never get tired of Wu Xie. 

Swallowing the rest of his concerns, he leaned in to brush his lips against Wu Xie's as he slid his boyfriend's robe off his shoulders.

"You sure must look gorgeous stark naked on the big soft bed." 

…

Take my hand, come back to the land
Let's get away just for one day
Where everything's ours, for a few hours
Let me see you stripped down to the bone
Let me hear you speaking just for me
Let me hear you crying just for me
(Stripped - Depeche Mode)

In the next room, Liu Sang was finally able to relax a little now that the restless couple had finally exhausted their energy.

He definitely didn't like that part of the job, not knowing when he could use the earphones or not, because at any moment truths could turn the wheels of reality when it came to the Mountain God and... well, whatever Wu Xie was.

Finishing drying his hair with the towel, he sat on the edge of the window, from where he could see the wide open space next to the pools, where yellowish lights reproducing the feeling of a candlelit environment gave life to the flowers around the dance hall and a low stage, where musicians proudly played their instruments - no digital sound mixed there and the absence of that seemed to have a new effect for Liu Sang, appeasing his always troubled hearing, calming his mind as well.

Xiaoge, dressed only in a bathrobe, with his bangs still dripping over his nose, approached the window, attracted by the sounds, peering over the auburn-haired boy's head. "What's going on down there?"

"A ball, I think." Liu Sang squinted as drops fell into his eyes and tilted his head slightly to look at the other.

"Is the music bothering you?" 

"No. Come here, take a better look.” He stood up, making room for Xiaoge to join him, lifting a corner of the towel to brush his wet bangs out of his eyes. “It's western classical music.” Down below, elderly couples were dancing to the sound of instruments, some slower, at the pace that time and their limitations allowed, while others seemed to surpass the vigor of youth, despite the lines from all the years that they had on their faces. “Those seniors look like great dancers." Those perspectives were things that seemed to have never been constructed in Liu Sang. Even though the appreciation was there, existing in some form. 

"Waltz." In Xiaoge, those same perspectives seemed worn out and almost invisible most of the time, but they still existed, persisting against what should have erased them.

Liu Sang watched the small smile that formed on Xiaoge's lips and slowly tried to reach his eyes, the more he watched. He wanted to see that smile remain. "Do you want to peek up close?"

"We should sleep, not go to a seniors dance..." His words were unconvincing, he couldn't stop looking down there and admiring. 

"Ouxiang,” Liu Sang said, as he finished drying the other’s hair as much as it was possible with a towel, “you're already past your senior years. This is exactly the kind of dance you should go to, not the mafia dances." At that, he had Xiaoge turning to stare at him immediately.

"You really-" He pretended to have taken offense, almost biting his lower lip to prevent himself from laughing, but the urge was obvious in his gaze.

"You left me no choice." Liu Sang couldn't hold back his light laughter, delighted to see that new expression of false indignation and amusement on the other - new and so deeply familiar.

Xiaoge reacted instinctively, poking the sides of his young partner's waist, snorting, "Childish."

Liu Sang laughed louder, "Yeah, we're in extremes it seems. Did you expect me to not be childish at my age?" He grabbed one of Xiaoge's hands and pulled him away from the window, intending to find clothes for them that were still in decent condition to wear. "Come on, let's peek at the dance up close!"

…

They circled the dance hall, without mingling with people, keeping some distance from the band, where Liu Sang could still enjoy the music without becoming overwhelmed.

Holding hands, as if they could lose each other in a crowd that didn't exist there, they watched the steps and the turns, the smiles and the hugs. A part of the beauty of life that would never come to Xiaoge. 

Growing old with someone he loved.

With his eyes distracted from the dance, looking for the right direction, and finding the shine that the yellowish lights reflected in the auburn hair, his thoughts were divided.

Of the beauties in life that would never come to him, growing old was certainly one of them.

He turned fully to Liu Sang, turning his back on the ball taking place there, but now perhaps, more a part of it than he had been until then.

He wasn’t growing old. But for sure growing older, despite his looks and abilities. With someone he-

Liu Sang tilted the head to stare at him, smiling tenderly this time.

Xiaoge's right hand reached Liu Sang's waist, circling around until his palm rested flat on his back. As if the movement was recurring and natural between them, Liu Sang easily followed Xiaoge as he raised his left hand so that his young partner's right hand rested gracefully there. 

"Can you dance?" Xiaoge wasn’t sure of what he was expecting on making that question.

"Not really. You?"

"Not that I remember." Still, the hand on Liu Sang's back brought him a little closer and the hands that were clasped together in the air lifted slightly, adjusting the position. Liu Sang's left hand reached up and rested on his right shoulder gently. Without taking his eyes off the other's gaze, Xiaoge observed them there, felt them, each part of them standing together, harmoniously. "Your posture is perfect."

"Do you want to try?" In a million worlds and realities, Liu Sang would never think of this possibility. With anyone else except that one. What was it like to try to take a step aside and then two, with someone he had risked his life for without blinking for years?

"I don't know, I think I don’t.” He didn’t want to try . He wanted to simply do it . He could do it. And he wished his body could move at his will, but it wasn’t moving at all - and so, he said a ‘no’ he didn’t want to say.

"Okay... but you're still holding me like that..." In his inviting smile, the proposal remained.

The image under Xiaoge's gaze blurred, and the flow of a pale blue robe rippled along the long auburn strands, to the sound of the tinkling of the tiny ornaments on a hairpin. The sound of music and laughter echoed far in his mind and then close, then in him . The smell of jasmine and white flowers was right there, wafting before him. The body he embraced, the hands on him, were a lost whisper, then reality. It was everything right there. Still in his memory. Against all his beliefs, it hadn’t vanished. 

How long had that been?

Liu Sang observed the eyes that wouldn’t leave his and the shimmering lights of unshed tears adorning the grayish blue in those irises. For so long he had loved those eyes without any hope - and sometimes no desire - that they would look back at him. As if looking at him meant that the glow that was still there would disappear completely. He thought he knew the reasons for that, but now he wasn’t sure anymore. Those reasons were becoming past, being them true or not.

His heart is racing again. It's the second time today.

"I am scared," Xiaoge blurted out, breaking the silence.

"Of what?"

"Of trying to dance with you." That answer didn’t make any sense to Liu Sang.

"I won't step on your foot..."

"I know you won't. You're perfect." The affection in his tone had changed. It had been growing in the past days, but now it had changed. It became unwavering, steady. Deeper, as if it had taken root in unreachable places of his heart.

Twice. He tells me I'm perfect twice. I'm not. What does he see in me today, has he seen before?

Bringing his face closer, Liu Sang whispered, "Am I?"

"I've always thought you were perfect, since the first time I saw you," he confessed as he leaned to rest his forehead on Liu Sang’s.

"You took too long..." What's going on with him? His heartbeat is completely unstable and loud. I've never heard his heartbeats like this. I just feel… I know this rhythm, like I know the rhythm of the music around us… 

"So forgive me for taking so long." The hand that had rested on Liu Sang's waist slid upward until the fingers were buried in the soft hair on the other's nape, the alluring touch making the young man shiver. 

The loud music became a distant melody as Xiaoge's lips touched Liu Sang's mouth softly, slowly sliding in, leisurely delving into the taste of the tongue that insinuated itself into his. Their arms broke the perfect posture, seeking the embrace where they now knew themselves. The softness became eagerness, the hand that was buried in the auburn hair held even tighter, their chests pressed together, the beats of their hearts inseparable.

The path that a few days ago seemed strange and complicated, now felt as if it had been traveled countless times. They remained like that for a long time, disconnected from all reality around them, except the music that surrounded them. That guided them to somewhere they recognized, somewhere they craved to be.

And they would have remained that way, if not for the rumblings invading Liu Sang's ears. Although they had ignored the people nearby, they were not going unnoticed by them. 

Gently, he broke the kiss, resting his face against the other's. "We'll go to jail if you keep kissing me here, in front of the elderly..."

Liu Sang felt Xiaoge's warm breath on the shell of his ear as he said, "There's a lot on my criminal record, but I still don't have an 'arrested for kissing boyfriend in public'." And that made Liu Sang giggle.

"If you don't care about jail,” he said kissing Xiaoge’s cheek before pulling his face away to look back in his eyes, “think Hei Xiazi will make our lives double hell if we go to jail for making out in public..."

"Hm,” Xiaoge nodded, pretending to agree. “You have an argument." I’m taking you to where it’s safe. 

"Come on, let's go back to the room before it’s too late." Liu Sang hurriedly pulled Xiaoge out of there. He could still hear the music from above. For a second he thought he could still hear the music from that moment wherever he was. Every chord had been engraved in his memory.

Every chord was reverberating in Zhang Qiling's memory from that moment to backward.

…

In the big soft bed that Zhao Yunlan so wanted to 'test', he tried to sleep now, spooning Wu Xie with his arms around his waist and his head nestled on the same pillow as him, although they had all the rest of the bed and another pillow this time. He was getting used to it. Living like that, having Wu Xie always with him like that. Even though Shen Wei still lived in his heart all along, he now wondered if just a few days without Wu Xie would drag him down in sadness again. His inner conflicts, at that moment when he feared the absence of his partner, had nothing to do with the god or the mountain or the ancient Tribes. It was all just the overwhelming desire to take Wu Xie with him, to ignore the irresponsible part of taking Wu Xie where he would be exposed to things Yunlan still didn't feel ready to tell. He wanted to risk it. But only if taking a chance could hurt himself and no one else. Knowing that it only took one mistake for him to end up hurting Wu Xie, he wasn't willing.

I still have one more day to ponder if that’s a good idea to take you to Longcheng with me… I fear letting you go and never getting to see you again. The last time I let someone I loved just go without me, I lost everything. I can’t ever see Shen Wei again, can I? If I let you go too and something happens… I can't bear it twice. I'm not afraid to let you become my world, I'm afraid this world will be taken away from me.

Gently kissing behind his boyfriend's ear, Yunlan tried not to disturb him but ended up letting the words slip out, "A-Xie, are you sleeping, my dear?"

"Yes, but I heard the thud on the wall..." Wu Xie's voice was muffled in the pillow.

"What...?" He hadn't been paying attention to any sounds, that wasn't what he was about to start talking.

"If you talk, you'll disturb them. Liu Sang is probably having a good time being pinned to the wall," a sleepy Wu Xie giggled.

"What energy for someone who was traveling for eighteen hours," said the person who had enjoyed the shower and bed very well with his partner after traveling for eighteen hours.

"Xiaoge is strong and Liu Sang is young, they have energy," replied the person who had only stopped his delicious moments with his partner when exhaustion had surpassed their ability to be shameless.

"And am I old now?"

"Not you, but I am. And as the old man I am, I need sleep."

"There's nothing old about you; You're all beautiful and wonderful. And about forty years from now, when you're really old, I'm sure you'll still be beautiful and wonderful." Despite Yunlan's amused tone, there was a familiar certainty to it.

"Will you be there to see it?" Will you let me protect you for so long?

"I swear to the gods I'll still want to kiss you all over." He gently kissed his partner's back, as if sealing his words.

"I doubt it." There was no longer any doubt. It would have been, days ago. It was just the need for reassurance.

"Didn't you see the seniors down there? They were so happy with their partners... Old and gray and romantic." The ordinary human life I couldn’t have with Xiao Wei. I envy those people… They make me face it… that I still want to have a life that lasts long enough to see my partner turning gray…

"Okay... you're right about them. They were beautiful dancing and I think those couples still look at each other the same way they did when they were young." Wu Xie said fondly.

"So do you believe me when I say I'll still think you're beautiful and wonderful and want to kiss you when you're eighty?" 

"If our jobs don't kill us sooner, I'll be very lucky if you're still a part of my life when I'm eighty." Wu Xie didn't need a promise about that. Just the possibility - and a little dreaming - was enough.

There, they remained silent, listening to the distant sounds of old music and indistinguishable laughter and conversation coming from the ball. 

The sounds of someone else's future that could one day become theirs too, lulled them for a while.

Zhao Yunlan had started to fall asleep when he felt Wu Xie take a deep breath and his voice came softly:

“Yunlan…” 

“Hm?”

After all the things past and those that still seemed to be yet to come, Wu Xie was not afraid of what he wished to do or say, not anymore. He was afraid of leaving words unspoken and he was afraid of burying his truths forever, leaving behind only doubt and pain when he was no longer there to say what only he could. He didn't know how many unspoken words Shen Wei had taken with him, but it seemed to suffocate Wu Xie as if they were his own words. They were not. But he still felt that if there wasn't enough time for everything they still wanted to do, that he would at least let Zhao Yunlan know...

That he would at least allow himself to say the most sincere and foolish words just once.

“I love you, Zhao Yunlan.”

Despite all the explicit wishes, all the plans already talked about and those slowly building around them, those words were still too much for Zhao Yunlan. Because only now did he realize, Wu Xie had been saying that in every possible way since the beginning. And he was scared, because he had never been telling Wu Xie otherwise, but he wasn't ready for this - even if he took Wu Xie to live with him once this trip was over. Even though he had no intention of letting Wu Xie go, those words exceeded what he believed he could do. Not what he could feel, but what he could say.

And Wu Xie perfectly understood that. It was his own decision, he was fine with it. He didn't want to hear anything in return. Only if someday, no matter when, Zhao Yunlan felt he needed to say it too. If it never happened, it still wouldn't make what they had with each other any less real.

“I don’t want you to answer me. I don’t want you to say anything. Just keep holding me and sleep, can you do that? That's all I need.” 

Without a word, Yunlan just hugged him tightly, as if afraid that if he loosened that hug, the dream would crumble right in front of him.

My sweet a-Xie... What did I do to be worthy of your heart?

…

Around two thousand years ago, Han Dynasty, somewhere in China.

Sometimes there was silence in the room when they painted. Only very subtle sounds like the bristles of the brush caressing the canvas, the rustling of the fabrics of their hanfus, the calm breathing of Hua Wuxie, that sometimes moved strands of Shen Wei’s loose hair, who no longer cared about their closeness. He had gotten used to it.

"I thought you despised me," Shen Wei spoke softly, without looking away from the canvas or stopping the painting.

"Why?" Hua Wuxie didn’t feel the somber tone he knew other people felt in Shen Wei’s voice. For him, it was as pleasant as the smooth smoke of incense floating in the room, magnolia’s scent.

"Because the only thing I can do is to destroy. I cannot help those who have already been corrupted," Shen Wei explained, while allowing the old man’s hand to guide his with the brush. He had stopped to fight and just let the other to refine his talent for arts.

"Your world and mine have very different laws,” Hua Wuxie now used to speak more like his true self than like his present self. “Whether I agree or not makes no difference. By the laws of your world, you are the only thing that can keep the vices and malices of the cruel ones from spreading and reaching innocent ones." Round brushstrokes in pale pink were forming the shapes of flowers.

"By the laws of your world, a corrupted soul can recover... but what does that cost others?" His concern was genuine. Hua Wuxie sighed, a few strands of Shen Wei’s dark hair waving under his warm breath, and his voice came gentler.

"If, for your soul's freedom, I had to suffer; if my pain could be of use to your chance to change and move forward; if by cutting off my arm you are able to use your legs to walk and choosing to go where your spirit finds peace... which is worth more, my temporary suffering or your chance to discover goodness in yourself? Those who think of the destruction of others as punishment for their own pain, they are no better than those who hurt them. Revenge and justice are different things."

"The corrupt souls of this world leave no chance for innocent souls to exist. Many beings who could go on with their existence and even find what you call enlightenment, simply cease and disappear when the cruel ones reach them." The magnolia scent started to seem to come from the painting, the white mist mingling with the art. Shen Wei didn’t remember when he felt so calm in his life in the same way as he felt in those months living with Hua Wuxie. A fragile time that would shatter soon, none of them could do anything about that.

"I know. I understand, Shen Wei. In the case of your world, the existence of the corrupt causes the annihilation of the innocent, I know that. Your work is a consequence of laws that were established by others, not you. You do what is possible in your hands to protect what needs to be protected.” The calloused old hand and the thin warm skin felt pleasant covering Shen Wei’s delicate cold hand, while the brush kept moving over the canvas. Shen Wei knew he would lose that soon, but it didn’t matter. He had new memories to keep with him.

It didn’t matter. He was not the one who needed that person the most.

"You also see good and evil, but you judge with the hand of benevolence and not with a blade."

"Judgment is not my competence. And neither is my desire. But judgment is your duty, not your arrogance. Please don't think again that I despise you or that I once despised you just because we work in different ways, under different laws." For Hua Wuxie, Shen Wei’s companion was a real treasure, it was like a last gift his husband had left for him. However, for knowing how lonely Shen Wei had always been, Wuxie felt the heaviness in his heart for the inevitable coming, the day when he would have to leave the entity alone again.

"We work together now. You've asked me many times to reconsider my judgment. I've listened to you a few times and proceeded as you asked me, to see what your healing hands were capable of doing for those souls… You were successful in soothing them in most cases. But you didn't ask me to reconsider at all times, why?" A different color, a longer line over the canvas, thin and precise. Their hands stopped moving, while they observed what they had done so far.

"Because I see some potential for restoring balance to souls that have become corrupted through too much pain, but you are fair and see when corruption through greed and revenge has crossed any boundaries.” They had come a long way here, from the day when Shen Wei had believed he had met an enemy, until now, where he was no longer sure what that person really meant to him. Feelings felt brittle like thin porcelain at first - a wrong impression, those feelings wouldn't break easily.

"I've trusted myself, and myself only, for all this time. But there's balance in this work in trusting you. I hope I'm not unfair when I go on working without you around." With a clean brush and a new color, they resumed the brushstrokes on the canvas, the blooming magnolias began to gain details, like fresh, living flowers, but immortal in that painting.

"Wield the blade when you need it,” Wuxie couldn't condemn the way another world worked, even if it was discordant with his reality. What he could do was support those who worked for the good of those who were vulnerable. He knew that Shen Wei didn't like everything he did, but he did whatever needed to be done. “But just as you learn the softest brushstrokes to create the finest lines, your hands get used to the right grip on the handle, so you'll know how deep to cut or when to let go of the blade completely.”

The room became silent again. Surrounded by subtle, fragrant smoke, the warmth of their closeness was calming.

…

Monday, August 17, 2015. Jiuquan, Gansu Province, China.

Past 1am.

Sitting on the edge of the building's roof, far enough away from all his teammates, Hei Xiazi preferred not to keep his thoughts to himself. He hadn't always been like this. 

He stared at his phone screen, and on the other side, he saw a piece of Xiao Hua's kitchen counter, the handle of a cup, and in the background, the owner of the kitchen pacing back and forth as he finished preparing tea, dressed in pastel pink button-down pajamas. 

Xiazi thought that maybe he was getting old, because at that moment, he would rather be on the other side, drinking a beer while Xiao Hua had his precious tea, and then unbuttoning those pink pajamas. And then, later, he would get a good night's sleep. However, he wasn't sure if reality could ever be that simple.

"Hua'er, I was thinking... despite the creatures on the sandalwood statues, there were no traps in the temple... Without all the usual paraphernalia. Of course, there was magic, that's why Chief Zhao ended up getting into this story, but... I'm used to places that try to kill me every five steps. That wasn't the case this time." As he said this, he watched Xiao Hua bring the kettle to the counter, sit down in front of the phone, and fill the cup with steaming tea.

"Xiazi... why would the Witch Tribe try to harm anyone? They were - or are - demons, but what exactly does that mean, since they've gone through cultural and religious reconstruction?" Xiao Hua sipped his tea, thinking about each answer they got - always tied to many more questions. It seemed like an endless cycle.

"I know, babe. It's just the first time an ancient place hasn't tried to kill me. Well, anyway, I still have so many questions that I just hope I survive the next expedition to know the answers. Liu Sang said that more than that the times I heard it, Wu Xie repeatedly said that he must protect Zhao Yunlan. So those swords-"

Xiao Hua, unworried, interrupted, "Why would the most powerful weapon in the world of India - the same world that protected and reshaped the Witch Tribe - had been repeatedly in the hands of the one who protects the Mountain God of the world of China? No mysteries here, Wu Xie is the Er Ye of the Guardian Order - even if he doesn’t know that he is, too, in this lifetime.”

“He also doesn’t know about the other ones. Nevermind. He is what he is. I want to know how he got the Asi. And where those swords are now.” If they belong to Wu Xie, they wouldn’t be far from him.

“How or from who he got that?”

“You know, those primordial gods that are still in our neighboring world would not hand their most powerful weapon to any random dude, would they?” Do we really know what or who Wu Xie is? At this point, it seems even more obscure.

“Rudra is its high preceptor,” Xiao Hua quoted what Xiazi said before, “And Wu Xie is also able to fight the martial arts created and taught by Shiva himself. The wilder form of Shiva is the one who teaches how to handle the Asi, and that god doesn’t act in mysterious ways. He listened and answered when Zhao Yunlan asked for his help.”

“But why in the hell - or heavens - would an Indian primordial god - also probably the most powerful Indian god to ever exist - hand the Asi to, from all people in the world… Wu Xie?!” This seemed to be a key-point in all that mystery to him and he wouldn’t let go of his questions on that matter.

“I’m just talking hypothetically here. I can’t be sure of the things I’m saying… I just have many thoughts and my mind is spinning lately…” Xiao Hua rambled a bit, with a shade of frustration. “I can’t be outside of this, watching from the corners. We all never dealt with divine beings before. Now, though, my cousin is, somehow, almost married to an ancient god and he seems to be deeply related to the one of the oldest gods we know about.”

“I just want for Wu Xie to not develop too much of that fire-thing he seems to be able to do, otherwise, I fear for what he’s going to set fire in - by accident or on purpose.”

“This is another good point. Wu Xie is inherently able with fire magic, according to the Guardian Order records about its Er Ye. You have been in possession of a flame of Agni’s fire. How does that flame keep burning? Is that related to the Agni on Nataraja’s hand?”

“Is that not related? We're here racking our brains to put the pieces together, meanwhile Wu Xie and his Mountain God are over there, just being a shameless, horny couple. And it wouldn't surprise me at all if, before we reach Hangzhou, the man - god - has decided that he is taking Wu Xie to Longcheng with him, with no intention of returning him.”

"I would believe that too, if it weren't for the weight he carries being the Ghost Slayer's widower."

“I almost forgot about the other dude. Shen Wei. He's the reason for the other half of the questions I have… Hua’er, look, Wu Xie used to work with the Ghost Slayer in his past lives, right?”

“So it seems.”

“Could they be related in a personal way?”

“Interesting you ask about that..."

"Why?"

Xiao Hua uncrossed his legs and set the cup aside, stretching his arms across the counter to bring some papers and file folders in front of the screen.

"Of some of the original Guardian Order reports that were held by the Mystic Nine, there is one that intrigued me as soon as I read it…” He opened one of the file folders and showed the first paper inside, yellow, with the edges darkened from handling. “You see, this is from the 6th century. The Guardian Order manor at that time, like many others, was not just a headquarters or office, that's where part of the members lived. At that time, it appears that the Ghost Slayer was often present in the Order.” He traced a line with his fingertip under some characters. “Here, this excerpt says something that might be a clue to what you just asked: 'Your Honor, however, does not depart. Under Er Ye's roof, Your Honor has made a home.' ”

"The characters, Hua'er… you're smarter with that than I am, babe. But show me the characters again." 

Xiao Hua wasn't going to waste time arguing about who was smarter with someone who was an expert in ancient language. But that was flattering, though.

"We're seeing the same thing, Xiazi. This sentence has several meanings. 'Roof' here, can refer to the home or the protection granted by someone - which is puzzling. Why would the Ghost Slayer, in any way, need anyone's protection?"

"Here, honey: 'has made a home'. How much more meaning did these characters have in the context of that era? I've seen these characters in imperial writings on tombs... of wives and concubines."

"Correct. 'Has made a home' could mean that he simply lived in the Er Ye's personal quarters - but why would he do that? Or it could mean that 'Your Honor' got married - or was taken in marriage."

"The Ghost Slayer is a deity of the Underworld. Why the hell would he marry?! TO WU XIE?!" Of all the insane and unhinged information that Xiazi had been putting together over the past few days, this was, to say the least, destabilizing - psychologically. Under other circumstances, he would have found this immensely amusing.

"I have to admit, the same urge to scream briefly occurred to me the first time I read this. But he was married to Zhao Yunlan, so it wouldn't be an unheard of occurrence."

"Yeah, babe, the Ghost Slayer was married to the guy who is now Wu Xie's partner. Then, babe, the Ghost Slayer was also married to Wu Xie himself in the past - or at least it seems. And then, too, babe, Wu Xie has been this guy's - the Mountain God’s - life partner, for multiple lifetimes and again now. So... what the fuck is this love triangle?!"

Xiao Hua ignored the amount of ‘babe’ he had heard in the past days, that was a sign that Xiazi was distressed for real and not only trying to mess with him or a little puzzled about something.

"Assuming that Wu Xie was indeed Er Ye in the 6th century and that we are interpreting these characters correctly… Arranged marriages of convenience were the norm, so there's ample room to wonder if there was emotional closeness between the two of them. Furthermore, marrying the Er Ye could be a tool for another purpose, one that had nothing to do with them being in a factual relationship."

"Taking someone into marriage didn't mean living in the same house. Especially in a marriage of convenience. It says right there that they lived together. Either they were a couple at all, or they were close enough to live well in the same house - I believe that both things were possible. Despite the wild and often described as 'dangerous' nature of the Ghost Slayer, who better than Wu Xie to win anyone's trust?”

"You have a point. If our slightly dumb Wu Xie has this ability to be alluring to almost anyone, what would he have been like in a time where he had so much more wisdom and power than he does now?”

"Hua’er, is this the only mention of any relationship between them?"

"No, but it is the most prominent. In general, in the reports that are in my hands, the Er Ye of the Order is often mentioned as 'partner' to the Lord Guardian, as per se. If 'partner' takes on the connotation of spouse, then it is not explicit at all times. But, of course, I have very few reports at hand.”

"Any irregularities?"

"Yes. Apparently, since the Han Dynasty, the Guardian Order has appeared in every century but one. There is no record of the Order during the 19th century. This is the second most interesting point I found. The Guardian Order disappeared for nearly a century and a half and then reappeared in early 1938 at Tianshan Lake in Xinjiang. This remained active until the mid-1970s. The Lord Guardian at the time, a former Shanghai French Concession Police officer and former detective, Luo Fei. The Er Ye of the Order, former member of the Dongjiang mafia, former unofficial investigator of the Shanghai French Concession Police, Luo Fusheng."

"Could it be that they have a kink for this cop and mobster thing?"

"The date, Xiazi. Notice the date. A little while after you met Zhang Qiling. Luo Fei and Luo Fusheng lived in Shanghai at the same time that the Mystic Nine's records say that Zhang Qiling lived there. The house he owned in the French Concession is currently in my possession - but officially still his."

"Did you buy a house that already has an owner?"

"Theoretically. He can't claim the house if he doesn't remember he has it. So I claimed it for him. I think this house is worth a look."

"Absolutely. But, Hua'er... why did the Order disappear during the 19th century?"

"No idea. But I asked some acquaintances to get any information about the name 'Shen Wei'. I haven't received any feedback except for a small package that was sent by Zhang Rishan. I haven't opened it yet, you were calling me as soon as I received it. "

"Honey, just hurry up and open the package!!"

"Let's see…” Xiao Hua gestured to the mercenary to be patient, and reached for the small package wrapped in brown paper. With a letter opener, he carefully cut the edges of the paper and removed the contents, examining it while displaying it on the screen. “Small old book, in Sanskrit. Xiazi, there is a dedication in the book. To dear Professor Shen Wei .” Then his eyes got a detail Xiazi could see clearly even from the other side of the screen. “Wait, that's a double-page trick.” Taking back the letter opener, Xiao Hua carefully worked to separate the page from its true face, a fully written paper, in beautiful calligraphy. “Here, now we have the real dedication..."

To my moonlight, my adoring spouse,
I once taught you to refine your brushstrokes, and you became a better artist than I am.
I once taught you the grace of flowers, and you became a better gardener than I am.
I asked you, pale divinity, what this passionate fool that I am at your feet, could teach from the mundane beauties I have known,
and you answered me that you did not have the gift of music and poetry.
But these gifts, adored of mine, are not mundane - nor do they belong to heaven or hell.
These beauties transcend my insignificant existence, they are born and die in the touches of your fingers, in the kisses of your mouth.
In my desire to give you all I have, I humbly offer you a sweet fragment of the poetry I love most.
If, with this, I could earn a beat of your heart, then I would be a man whose fortune is immeasurable.

From your devoted husband.  

齐吴邪
Qi Wuxie”

Xiazi stared at the screen in silence for a moment. Xiao Hua also seemed speechless.

“Wu Xie was able to write a love letter… Why do we have to stay with the downgraded version of Wu Xie?! Wait… Qi? Is it the same ‘Qi’ from the Qi family?”

“Yes, it is. Whoever Qi Wuxie was, he was a member of one of the nine families and was married to a Professor Shen Wei.”

"Given the contents of that dedication, if there was any doubt about the nature of their relationship, there isn't now. Even if, initially, that marriage could have been a convenience."

"That marriage was within the Order.” An absurdly obvious realization hit Xiao Hua in a way he felt almost stupid for not thinking about it earlier. “The cat, Xiazi. The cat knows. The cat knows that Wu Xie and Shen Wei were lovers."

"From Da Qing's reaction to Wu Xie, the cat is an ally. He is very fond of Wu Xie. And we already know that the cat loves Zhao Yunlan enough to have raised the guy since he was little. Whatever he knows, it's either incomplete for him to reveal to Zhao Yunlan, or he hides it to protect something."

"I never thought there would come a day when this family would worry me so much that I would consider calling a cat to try to clear things up..."

…

In the morning, when Hei Xiazi woke up and rolled over in bed to check his cell phone, a message from Xiao Hua was already waiting:

@XiaoHua: *Luo Fusheng. From his early years until almost his early adulthood, he was the godson of a mafia family, the branch situated in Dongjiang at that time. Hong family. Mystic Nine's Hong family. It looks like 'he' has been around Mystic Nine for quite some time. He left the mafia between the ages of 22 and 23. He lived with Luo Fei all the time from that moment on. Between the ages of 30 and 31, he officially became the Second Master of the Guardian Order of his era. He never left the Order.*

@CoolGlasses: *We're about to witness Wu Xie taking the same path.*

@XiaoHua: *I'll be surprised if it doesn't happen.*

…