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When Thorin woke it was dark and he was alone. The pain in his chest was unbearable for a moment but it slowly reduced until he didn't feel the any pain. Thorin didn't understand that. Azog had stabbed him. He stabbed him in the heart and he, Thorin returned the favour. He watched the light leave the creauture's eyes. He remembered the pain that consumed his mind, remembered saying goodbye to Bilbo but after that he didn't remember a thing. Had it been all a dream?
A female voice hit his ear and Thorin moved. The elves... They had captured them. Were they still captives? The only female they had encountered since they left Rivendell was, the elf guard, and the voice was definitely a female one, though somehow familiar. Thorin sat up, his eyes now used to the darkness of the room, which honestly wasn't that dark anymore. Soft candlelight casted a warm glow around the chamber, only Thorin was hid in a dark corner. But Thorin didn't care enough about it. His breath caught as he looked at the occupants of the room:his nephews and Dîs.
Dîs. His baby sister, whom he hadn't seen in many months. He called her name but she didn't even look at him. Thorin scrambled to his feet and approached his family but they didn't even care about his presence. It hurt. "Dîs?"he called again, attempting to touch her shoulder, but when his palm should have came in contact with Dîs' shoulder it went right through it. Thorin cradled his hand to his chest in shock. Dîs didn't notice a thing.
His sister finished braiding the golden hair of Fíli then turned him around so she could face him. When he looked at his eldest nephew Thorin felt like someone punched him in the guts. Fíli was pale, his eyes emotionless, red and puffy and his voice was hoarse when he spoke. "I'm not the one who should be crowned today."he whispered brokenly gazing at the ring that adorned his finger. His Uncle's ring. Thorin followed his gaze than immediately looked at his hand, noticing that his ring indeed was gone.
"My Fíli."Dîs pulled Fíli into her embrace as his nephew sobbed. "He would be so proud of you, if he could see you right now."
Kíli who watched the exchange joined their embrace, finding comfort in both his mother's and his brother's touch. "I miss him, Amad."he said as his tears started to fell too.
Thorin's heart twisted as he watched those who were the most important to him crying in each other's arms. He desperetaly wanted to comfort them, but no matter how hard he tried he couldn't touch them. His stomach sank. What kind of an uncle, what kind of a brother he was if he could not comfort his family? A flash of gold caught his eye. It was his harp. A thought entered his head. Even if he couldn't touch anybody who was drawing breath but if he could touch objects, then maybe he could offer some comfort. He went up to the instrument and extended his hand, his fingers touching the strings. Realizing that, he started to play a song. It was slow and deep, one that he and he knew that his whole family knew by heart for that was the song he played when he had to put the young Fíli and Kíli to sleep.
Kíli was the first one to lift his head from his brother's shoulder when he heard the chords, so painfully familiar, but Fíli and Dîs followed suit soon enough, casting glances of disbelief at the harp which played itself. "Fee?"Kíli looked at Fíli, his eyes wide. Fíli turned his head towards his brother but his eyes still stole glances at the instrument. "Can it be...?"
"I don't know Kee."Fíli sighed. He wanted to believe that their Uncle was still with them somehow but he wasn't a dwarfling anymore. Ghosts didn't exist. "Amad? Can we visit him before...?"
"Of course my love."Dîs said. The family moved and Thorin followed them. He just noticed that their clothing was made of the finest material imaginable, his nephews' hair did not hang in their eyes, tangled as it was but combed to perfection, their braids freshly redone just like their mother's. The long, black cape with fur at it's hem and collar that Fíli wore comfirmed what Thorin already suspected by watching them. That he had died in the battle and Fíli was now to be King.
Though Thorin knew that he would see the destroyed version on himself, the air still left his lungs when he came with it face to face. His body laid on a stone table, with Orcrist in his hands and the Arkenstone on his chest. His face was free of the blood and dirt of the battlefield, his hair combed around his shoulders but they didn't change his clothing. Thorin could see where the Defiler's blade cut trough his flesh and ended his life. But he couldn't allow himself to be lost in his memory. He watched as his family drew nearer.
Dîd was the first who approached him. Thorin watched as her hand cradled his cheek, missing the warmth of her touch but remembering how he had done the same in their youth. Dîs was just ten years old when Smaug came. Throin remembered how he comforted her night after night when nightmares came. He remembered how she cried 91 years ago when her husband died. He remembered how she cried when he took her sons with him on the Quest and cradling her face in the same way he promised to her that she will get them back. And he held his promise. If his death was required for Fíli's and Kíli's safety, then so be it. He didn't regret a thing. Thorin stepped closer to Dîs, and focusing on the material of her clothing and not the person who wore it he tried to touch her shoulder again. It worked approximately for a second and no longer. "I held my promise little sister. I brought them back to you."he whispered to her.
Dîs stepped back and Kíli was the next who came closer to his broken body. Thorin heart broke again as he watched the tears of his younger nephew. He was young, so very young (Thorin smiled briefly as the stunned expression of their burglar flashed before his eyes when he learned how old his nephews are. True, had they been born as man, they wouldn't been older than thirty but dwarves were granted a longer lifespan than mans or hobbits) and he had been through so many things, had to see horrible things and for most of them Thorin was the one who could be held accountable. "I miss you Uncle."he whispered softly. Thorin drew closer to him, pushing back his own tears and though he knew that Kíli wouldn't hear him he said. "I love you Kíli. I love you little one."
Kíli took a trembling breath before he stepped back, allowing Fíli space. Fíli didn't move and didn't speak as he stood above Thorin's body for a long time. Then he whispered ever so softly."I'll try to make you proud, Uncle."
If watching Dîs and Kíli was painful enough then now Thorin felt like someone had stabbed him again, as the his tears broke free at the silents promise. He wanted to craddle Fíli close to him and never let go. He wanted to tell him that he is already proud. Always had been. That he loved both him and his brother like they were his own children. Knowing that he couldn't touch Fíli, with great effort Thorin focused on his body and unclasped a clasp around one of his braids.
Fíli lifted his gaze at the soft clinking sound then when he heard again he looked down. And there, at his feet laid one of Thorin's clasps, shimmering silver in the light of the torches. How it got there Fíli did not know but after bending and picking it about he lifted his Uncle's braid gently, ready to put the clasp back to its rightful place.
"No."his brother objected."He... Uncle would want you to wear it Fee."Kíli said.
Thorin smiled, fully agreeing with his nephew but he saw the debate the Fíli was having inside. Emotions changed quickly in his eyes until he finally clasped the tiny object around one of his braids.
Thorin's family soon departed, leaving the dead in peace, but Thorin didn't follow them. He wandered around in the Mountain until suddenly all of the dwarves started to go into the throne room. Thorin followed them.
The throne room was filled with dwarves and everyone wanted to get as close to the throne where Fíli kneeled in front of Thorin's cousin, Dain as one could. Kíli and Dîs stood one either side of Dain. Thorin stepped aside so he could watch Fíli's expression as Dain place the raven crown of Erebor upon his head. His cousion offered a warm smile to Fíli before his voice rang out. "Long live the King!"
Fíli turned around as everyone picked the shout up and the room was filled with voices as they chorused."Long live the King!"
Thorin joined the others though he knew his voice could not be heard. Still his nephew deserved this at the least and much more but he couldn't give it to him now. A loving smile touched his lips as he watched Fíli watching his subjects in wonder as they bowed before him. Thorin followed suit.
The air left Fíli's lungs as he watched the dwarves bowed. Their voice still rang in his ears, Kíli's the loudest, behind him. His gaze swept through the heads, firstly the members of the Company but not missing one. His gaze travelled sideways for a moment, ready to move on already since nobody was there. But still. Something caught his eye. A figure standing in the shadows on their knees but head lifted, a smile on their face as they looked at him. Fíli felt like he's going to faint because the figure in the shadows was his Uncle.
"Fíli?"he heard the concerned voice of his brother.
"Look to your right."Fíli with his lips barely moving as he looked the now rising and cheering dwarves. Kíli followed the instruction and they both looked to the side. His Uncle was nowhere.
"Fee?"
"Uncle was there Kíli, I swear."Fíli said. But Kíli didn't get the chance to say anything because dwarves were upon both of them and their mother but especially on Fíli.
Thorin watched as Balin hugged Kíli, Dîs and Fíli, as both of his nephews knees buckled when Dwalin put an arm around their shoulders, putting his weight on them, and when he heard their laughter he knew that his family was in good hands. With one last fond look at them, he turned around and left the Mountain. The wind blew outside of the gates and Thorin let himself be carried by it, hoping that someday he will see them again...