Chapter Text
Sephiroth led them on a chase through the rafters, though Barret had been uncertain at first about the ceiling holding up their weight. He was also confused as to why they were chasing this weird kittypet in the first place.
Eventually, Sephiroth simply dropped out of existence in front of them, leaving them peering down a hole made by a fallen tile cautiously. The drop was too far for any of them to make without possibly injuring themselves, so they could only watch as Sephiroth looked up at them before heading straight to an elderly-looking twoleg…
and then tripped that twoleg right in front of their shocked and horrified eyes.
“Soooo…” Barret began as they managed to make their way to relative safety. “Mind telling us what’s the deal between you and that tomcat who just fur-king tripped that old twoleg?”
“Also mind telling me what I’m doing here?” A much deeper, human voice growled from behind the group, sounding confused.
“Because, Nanaki, you were being held captive by the vet,” Tifa explained slowly, almost as if she was afraid he would freak out.
“Yeah, even though you’re biiiiiiiig, you’re still a cat. You’re one of us!” Aerith chirped, looking up at the massive lion-like, flame-tailed creature who was very clearly not a cat.
“As I said, it was a routine check-up…” Nanaki repeated for what seemed like the thousandth time this night ever since he was “rescued” from where he had been sitting in the vet’s office waiting for Hojo to come back. He still wasn’t completely sure why he had gone along with these cats. Well, it was definitely more entertaining than sitting around waiting for Hojo in a room that smelled like antiseptic.
“You were in the vet’s den. Everycat knows that no cat comes back from there the same.”
Okay, yeah, also the hatred these cats had for the poor vet was really funny, too. Nanaki was guessing they were talking about spaying and neutering and held in a wince of sympathy. Although he knew that for the average domestic cat, the procedure actually helped when it came to things like happiness, longevity, and health, he couldn’t fault these cats for thinking differently. After all, he, too, liked all his body parts exactly where they were, as they were.
“… Very well.”
“Anyways, that tomcat,” Barret brought them back on topic.
“Yeah, Cloud, it does seem like you two have a history,” Aerith’s voice was light, “What did he say again? Don’t deny me, Cloud. Embrace me?” She parroted with a ridiculously over exaggerated purr.
If Cloud wasn’t covered in fur, they would have been able to see him go red with embarrassment. His tail flicked back and forth.
“Yeah, and then you just chased after that Tom when he went running! If I didn’t know better, I’d have taken you two for a tom and queen,” Barret added, making Cloud ooh his ears back.
Ah, cat drama. This was more interesting than anything Nanaki had seen in days. This had been a good choice.
“I-it’s not like that!” Cloud responded hotly.
“Yeah, unfortunately, it’s not like that,” Tifa repeated with a sigh.
“Unfortunately-…!”
Ignoring Cloud’s indignant yowl, Tifa continued. “You see, before me and Cloud joined the Sector Seven slums, and before Cloud was briefly taken by Shinra to be kittypet, we used to have a few twoleg friends who took care of us. Kind of like Aerith’s twoleg.”
“Sephiroth got her sent to the vet,” Cloud cut in bitterly and curtly.
“Lion’s mane, Cloud! The vet?” Barret hissed, hackles rising“Like the vet vet? Like the vet that changes cats? But for twolegs?”
Cloud nodded grimly. “He tripped her. He tripped my twoleg, on the stairs, and the vet took her away.”
Aerith’s tail and ears drooped. “Oh Cloud. I’m so sorry.”
Nanaki took a moment to process this before he said, a few second late, “You mean the doctors?”
“Doctor? Is that the word for vets for twolegs? Do they also change twolegs?” Tifa asked.
“Er, I suppose so?” Nanaki replied, a little confused but honest.
To his surprise, the cats all reacted with horror, looking back at him as if he had just announced the end of the world of cats.
Okaaaay, there was definitely some sort of connection he was missing here.
“Wait…” Cloud suddenly perked his ears up. “Twolegs are coming!”
The cats frantically looked around for a place to hide, but the hallway they were in was a long stretch of open ground with no furniture to hide behind.
Two groups of twolegs appeared, one at each end, and each group holding a net they stretched across the corridor. The red-headed black-fur twoleg of on one side, a couple of rather obvious scratches on his disgruntled face.
A twoleg on the opposite side suddenly spoke up, surprised.
“Nanaki?” Though Rufus had seen the tapes prior to coming here, he was still surprised by the fire-lion’s presence, and held a hand to his head. “Okay. Why?”
Nanaki had the grace to look vaguely apologetic. “They, ah, rescued me from the vet.”
“What.” Rufus didn’t look amused.
“Hell yeah we did,” Barret crowed victoriously and mockingly. “You know that twoleg?” He asked Nanaki.
Nanaki nodded, far more calm and relaxed than any of the bristling cats. “I do. He is the Vice President of the cat café we are in.”
“The cat what?” Tifa echoed.
“What’s a café?” Aerith asked curiously.
“President now,” Rufus corrected with a grimace to hide a pleased smile. Then he belated realised something. “Wait. You can understand them?”
“I can indeed.”
“What’s he saying?” Cloud asked, tail twitching in agitation.
“And they can understand you?”
“A café is… a place humans sit down and relax, drinking beverages and eating snacks,” Nanaki answered the cats first before giving Rufus the affirmative.
“Humans?” Barret sounded confused, a sentiment that was echoed by the rest of the cats.
“What the hell? Can they understand us, then?” Rufus also sounded baffled.
Nanaki was starting to get dizzy. “Um, you call them twolegs, and no, they cannot understand you.”
“Ooh,” Aerith’s eyes widened in understanding.
“Nanaki, please, tell us what they’re saying,” Cloud asked again.
“Er…” Nanaki tried to recall the previous conversation.
“This makes no sense,” Rufus decided. “We speak the same language. How can they understand you but not us?”
“Um…” Nanaki had no idea.
“Yo, boss, can we get this show on the road?” Reno cawed.
“Yes, let’s,” Rufus agreed.
“Hm,” Nanaki murmured before making a split second decision. “It’s time we make our escape.”
“Huh?” Was all Barret had time to meow before Nanaki turned and took off running towards Reno.
“What the fu-…!” Reno yelped as he was bowled over, this time by a significantly larger feline. Nanaki took down the net with him, and the four cats sped after him as fast as their paws could carry, over the barricade and into freedom.
“Nanaki!” Rufus cried out in surprise. Ah damnit. These cats were just adora- ahem, troublesome as he had expected. Not at all adorable. Nope. He didn’t think they were adorable. Couldn’t be him.
“Why me, yo?” Reno groaned.
Rufus looked at him apologetically, or as apologetic as he could get while trying to hold back laughter. Maybe he should give Reno some time off.