Chapter Text
December 25th, 10:15 am
The next morning Gaara woke up calmly, with Naruto’s arm thrown over his hips which was nothing new because Naruto was a notoriously wiggly and wild sleeper. Naruto was a warm presence next to him and, despite how mortified he was at the vulnerability he displayed the previous night, Gaara still smiled to himself as he stretched himself awake. He could just barely hear laughter and voices from downstairs. Right. They had an entire day ahead of them, didn’t they?
Gaara yawned a little and turned over to face Naruto, watching him sleep for a second. It was rare to catch Naruto in moments of calm and silence most of the time so it was nice, watching his peaceful face. He supposed he should have been anxious after their conversation the previous night but he felt oddly…calm. He wasn’t sure if that was a good sign but, at the moment, he couldn’t find it in himself to think up a reason to believe otherwise.
He reached out and poked Naruto’s cheek. “Naruto.” He murmured, poking again. “Naruto, we have to get up.”
Naruto made a noise that sounded like a low growl in his throat, seemingly squeezing his eyes shut tighter and huffing out an annoyed breath. “ Gaara , it’s like…six in the morning.”
Gaara glanced over his shoulder at the alarm clock that sat on the bedside table, snorting. “Naruto,” He tried again, smiling softly. “It’s past ten in the morning. We have to get up; its Christmas.”
“Christmas can wait.” Naruto grumbled. He wiggled closer and pressed his face into Gaara’s shoulder. He seemed content to fall right back asleep. “I’m tired.”
Gaara laughed a little and shook his head. “Naruto, your mother will come up here soon if we don’t go downstairs. I think I heard Jiraiya's voice downstairs, you know.”
Naruto scrunched his face up a little in a tiny scowl. “I work with him, that won’t get me out of bed faster.”
“Okaayyy,” Gaara murmured, rolling his eyes a bit. “Then get up before I roll you off of the bed.”
Naruto finally leaned his head back, one blue eye cracked open in a weak and lazy glare. “You wouldn’t.”
“You know I would.” Gaara reasoned, smirking a little bit. “I’ve done it before.” He would feel a little bad about it, sure, but it wouldn’t be the first time he had to push Naruto off of a bed to get him to wake up.
Naruto groaned loudly and rolled onto his back, stretching his arms and legs and making some ungodly noise as he did so. “Fine, fine! I’m awake.”
Gaara sat up and ran his hand through his hair, smiling a little bit. “Thank you.”
Naruto yawned loudly and pushed himself up, rubbing his eye as he glanced at Gaara. “Did you sleep okay?”
“...Yeah, actually.” Gaara admitted, a little surprised at the revelation. He’d slept better than he had all month, really. He looked back at the other and shrugged his shoulders. “You’re a walking space heater; you keeping me warm probably helped me sleep.”
Gaara knew that wasn’t why he had slept so well. Their conversation before bed had helped them both, Gaara especially, and it had eased most of the messy, erratic thoughts that had been plaguing his mind. He had said his peace and that alone had lifted a huge weight off of his shoulders. If Naruto thought so, too, then he didn’t make it obvious.
They got ready for the day rather quickly after that. Neither of them changed out of their pajamas and just focused on brushing their teeth, washing their faces, and making their hair look a little less insane than it did. Then, the two of them made their way downstairs.
Naruto’s parents were in the living room with Jiraiya, an old family friend that had known Minato since…well, forever. Truthfully Gaara didn’t have any strong feelings about the man in either regard; he was nice, he supposed, and had always been kind to Gaara. So he was okay in Gaara’s mind, though he would always be partial to Minato and Kushina instead.
The man caught sight of them and grinned widely, waving a bit. “Hey, Gaara! Long time no see!”
Gaara smiled a bit and nodded, offering an awkward little wave of his own as he and Naruto plopped down on one of the couches. “Yeah, good to see you.”
“Jeeze, how long have you been here, old man?” Naruto drawled, yawning again.
Jiraiya snorted a bit and took a sip from a mug that was filled with, Gaara assumed, coffee. “About an hour or so, give or take. You were passed out, I assume, so I didn’t bother coming to look for you.”
“He was absolutely passed out.” Gaara snorted a bit, glancing at Naruto. “I woke him up but he didn’t make it easy.”
“Just like his mother,” Minato snickered softly, earning him Kushina’s elbow in his side. “What? It's true! You’re a horrible morning person and you know it.”
Kushina huffed a little bit but she knew she couldn’t argue. She was an absolute menace in the morning, even worse than Naruto. She rolled her eyes, a fond smile on her lips, as she looked back towards Jiraiya. “A shame Tsunade couldn’t come with you.”
“Yeah, she’s feeling super under the weather.” The man sighed a little, frowning to himself. “Definitely the flu. What a shit time to get it, right? She was actually trying to come this morning but she looked terrible.”
“Poor thing,” Kushina cooed gently. “I’ll send you home with some things for her and her gift we got. I hope she recovers quickly; I know how much she hates being held up inside too long.”
Jiraiya smiled a little and shrugged his shoulders. “You know how she is. Always gotta be busy doing something. She works herself crazy, honestly. As much as she hates missing Christmas with you guys, I’m sort of glad she’s tucked away in bed resting.”
A recurring theme in their family, it seemed. All of them liked to keep busy and could hardly keep still. Endearing, sure, but it led to many fits of burnout and exhaustion. Gaara could certainly see where Jiraiya was coming from.
“Anyways, Gaara,” He turned his attention to the other, smiling warmly once more. “How are your brother and sister?”
“They’re good.” Gaara replied. “Temari went with Shikamaru to his parents’ house for Christmas and Kankuro…was on a date last night.”
“Good! Sounds like they’re doing great.” Jiraiya finished off his drink with one more large gulp and then he set his cup aside on the coffee table. “I’m pretty surprised to see you; you three are always with each other on Christmas so I figured it would be the same this year.”
Gaara shrugged his shoulders a little. “Well,” He spared a glance at Naruto beside him, smiling softly to himself. “A little change is nice every once in a while.”
“That it is.” Jiraiya was smirking lightly at him when Gaara looked at him again, making Gaara’s face heat up. “Well, either way it’s great to see you. I’ve been caught up in work and traveling so much this year that I’ve hardly seen any of you rascals aside from Sakura and Sasuke on occasion. Hopefully this coming year is less hectic and I can relax a bit and enjoy the energy you kids give me. I know Tsunade loves being around you all.”
“Even if she acts cranky,” Naruto snickered a little bit. “She loves us.”
“That she does,” Jiraiya chuckled a little bit. “You know what, after you kids graduate or maybe during your upcoming spring break in a few months I can rent out a beach house again like when you all graduated high school. You all had lots of fun at the beach that time, yeah?”
“Oh, that would be so fun!” Naruto gushed excitedly. “We could stay for a few days and enjoy the town, too. They do a little spring festival there, I think.”
“Yeah!” Jiraiya agreed with a wide grin. “I think it would be good for you kids. Get out and enjoy yourselves without thinking about school and work.”
It did sound nice, another beach trip. They hadn’t all taken a trip together like that since the original one after their high school graduation. It was hard to coordinate so many conflicting schedules, after all, and so they settled for smaller outings in smaller groups whenever they could find the time and extra money. It was kind of Jiraiya to want to pay for it again too, just as he did the time before. He loved to see Naruto happy above all else and usually would do whatever it took to ensure his godson would have fun and be able to experience life with the people he loved. That was certainly one of Jiraiya’s more endearing and admirable traits, in Gaara’s opinion.
When he was younger he thought the idea of such people was a myth. The sort of people that would do anything it took to make you happy or do whatever it took to support you in your own journey to be happy always sounded fake, like some sort of children's movie bullshit that never actually existed. Meeting Naruto, and by extension Nauto’s family, had changed his mind about all of that.
He was glad. Knowing people like that existed in the world made him feel a little lighter and, sometimes, made him want to be like that as well.
Jiraiya didn’t stay long, worried about Tsunade yet trying hard not to give away just how worried he was. Those two were just as sappy as Minato and Kushina even if the man tried to pretend they weren’t. He had breakfast with them, a lovely spread of french toast, eggs, and sausage made by Minato and Gaara, who had jumped at the chance to help so that Kushina could have a break from cooking. It was a nice breakfast and pretty lively. Everyone was laughing and enjoying each other and it just felt…warm. Gaara really liked it. Don’t get it wrong, he loved the Christmas Days he spent with his siblings in the past. He loved almost any holiday he spent with them because it was theirs and they were happy. Knowing that both of his siblings had spent Christmas with someone, though, and had been able to enjoy it even with Gaara gone was a nice thought. Spending it with Naruto and his family was nice, too, and warm in a way Gaara wasn’t entirely used to feeling.
Jiraiya left a little after noon and Gaara found himself back on the living room couch, Naruto sitting beside him and leaning heavily into him. Kushina and Minato were in the kitchen cleaning, leaving the two of them alone which would have made Gaara’s anxiety skyrocket the day before but, now, he was still as calm as he was this morning. “Do you know what time you want to head back home?” Gaara asked after a moment, looking over at the other curiously.
Naruto, scrolling through his phone, paused and looked back at him. He seemed to think about it and then shrugged his shoulders. “I’m okay with leaving whenever, really. We should definitely head out before sunset, though; driving these icy roads at night sucks.”
“Yeah, I definitely want to try to avoid the icy roads.” Gaara agreed, nodding a little bit. “The closer we get to home the easier the roads will be so I think as long as we leave by four or five.”
“Yeah, fine with me.” Naruto nodded, shoving his phone into the pockets of his sweatpants. “We can have a late lunch with Mom and Dad and then head out.” He stretched a little bit, leaning more into Gaara if that were possible. “Wanna sleep over at my place tonight?”
Gaara couldn’t help the small wave of anxiety that washed over him for just a moment. He stared at Naruto, who looked right back at him calmly, thinking it over. Their interaction the night before flashed through his head, the memory of Naruto’s lips own his own making his face head up a little. Of course he had to remind himself that the invitation didn’t mean anything like that would happen. Naruto might just want to hang out. He was going to think about what Gaara had said, he had promised to do so. Still, though…the thought made his face feel hot. “Sure, I don’t see why not.”
“Awesome,” Naruto grinned brightly, nudging him a little with his elbow. “It’ll be fun. We haven’t had a sleepover in a bit.”
It would be fun, as long as Gaara didn’t let himself think about it too hard. He wasn’t going to overthink anything anymore. Easier said than done, of course, but still.
The rest of the day was a lazy one. They lingered around in the living room watching movies and just spending time together. It was nice family time. Minato and Kushina even tried to get Gaara to take some money and when Gaara refused, he pretended not to see them give the money for Naruto to give to him later, instead. They were such parents . Always making sure Gaara and Naruto had enough money for…well, everything.
For lunch they had left overs from the night before which still tasted just as good. Kushina and Minato had seemed to ease up on the excitement of having the boys home for Christmas and everything felt a little calmer now. They took pictures together, of course, because Kushina and Minato loved to take pictures of their son and everyone else they loved. The number of photos they had of Gaara after all these years was unfathomable, he was sure, but Gaara only ever allowed very special people to take pictures of him. So he didn’t mind this too much.
It was nearing four in the afternoon when they finally started to get ready. They packed up their things and took an extended time saying goodbye to the parents, Kushina being sure to shove containers of left overs and cookies into their arms. They pressed warm kisses to Gaara’s cheeks, something he loved but rolled his eyes at anyways, and finally, after a goodbye that lasted nearly an hour, the two of them were back on the road.
“It was nice seeing your parents again,” Gaara murmured after a few silent minutes, watching the road ahead of himself. “You see them more than I do, I mean. But…it was nice.”
“They were so happy you came, man.” Naruto told him with a small laugh, reaching forward to adjust the heat a little bit. He leaned back into the passenger seat and shot Gaara a quick smile. “We can visit more. Or you can, too. They don’t care either way; they miss you.”
Gaara missed them, too. The entire year had been…insane, really. He would have to find time in the following year to visit more and enjoy the love that came with a family. “I’m going to have to stop by my house on the way to yours. Will you be alright waiting in the car? I’ll just have to grab clean clothes and stuff.”
“Yeah, totally fine.” Naruto assured with a shrug of his shoulders. “You can toss the food Mom gave you in the fridge, too, while you’re there.”
“It won’t last long with my brother there.” Gaara mused fondly. “He had a girl over last night, did I tell you?”
“No kidding?” Naruto scoffed, eyes widening a little in surprise. “Your brother doesn’t date, though. That’s kind of huge.”
“Right?” Gaara found himself grinning a little bit, glancing over at Naruto and shooting him a rather smug look. “The girl stayed the night .”
“Oh my god,” Naruto shook his head a little bit in disbelief. “Good for Kankuro, man. That’s such a huge thing for him. I’m glad he did it. When you get more information you have got to tell me.”
“Oh without question,” There wasn’t even a question. Naruto would know the second Gaara could tell him. “It’s a woman he works with. I’m really curious, honestly, but I’m going to try not to pry. Now, if Temari finds out…” Well, Temari finding out was an entirely different matter.
It would be fine either way and Gaara knew that. Kankuro hadn’t dated, let alone been interested in anyone, since he and Temari had fled their Dad’s home and snagged Gaara on their way out. Kankuro had stayed focused on work and on Gaara and on just trying to live …it was nice to know that his brother was finally stepping out into the world again.
The drive back to town was relaxing. It was far less tense than the drive on Christmas Eve, that was for sure. Everything was out in the open now, leaving no room for uncertainty and misunderstandings. Naruto played videos from his phone at full volume, cackling here and there at whatever jokes hit him just right and Gaara listened along, the radio playing very lightly in the background. They made casual conversation here and there, mostly talking about Naruto’s parents or about school that would be picking up again far faster than they would like. After keeping everything in so tightly, afraid of where he and Naruto stood, it felt so much better to just be casual. He felt like he could breathe again.
The sun had set and gone by the time Gaara pulled up in front of his house, leaving the moonlight illuminating the snow. He gathered up the leftovers Kushina had packed for him and opened up the driver side door, pausing to glance over at Naruto. “I’ll only be a second but you can come in if you want.”
“Nah, I’ll wait here.” Naruto assured with a quick shake of his head. “I’ll end up chatting with your brother and then we’ll never get to my place.”
That was true. Naruto and Kankuro, despite being total opposites, could get each other started without even trying. They got along far too well, as Naruto did with almost everyone he met. “Right. Okay, I’ll be back.”
He hurried up to the driveway to the front door, nearly slipping on a patch of ice and muttering a soft “ fucking hell ” under his breath. Balancing the food in his arms, he dug around in his pocket for his keys and, after an awkward moment, he was finally pushing his way into the house. He kicked the front door behind himself, the noise prompting Kankuro’s head to pop out from the kitchen. His brother blinked in surprise at him, offering a small wave. “Yo, didn’t expect you back. I thought you would end up staying an extra night at Minato and Kushina’s.”
“No, but I’m going to sleep over at Naruto’s tonight.” Gaara squeezed past his brother, setting the leftovers on the counter. It was then that he noticed that Kankuro was cooking, several pots on the stove going, and there were two plates and wine glasses ( did they actually own wine glasses? ) set aside on the counter. He arched a brow and glanced at his brother. “You still have company over.”
“You’re sleeping at Naruto’s?” Kankuro was trying to sound stern, like he was trying to make sure Gaara knew he wasn’t on board with the idea, but getting caught in the act had the older man’ face heating up.”
“We can talk about that in a second,” Gaara was quick to push it aside, gesturing towards the wine glasses and plates. “The girl from last night. She’s coming over again?”
Kankuro sighed heavily and averted his gaze, face still a delightful shade of red. “She uh…actually never left.” He murmured, awkwardly picking at a random spot on the wall beside himself. “She’s in the shower right now. I…didn’t think you were going to be back tonight so I asked her to stay over again.”
Ah. Gaara grinned, a full on grin, and he watched Kankuro eye him wearily in response. “Oh, so you want time alone with her, huh?”
“Maybe.” Kankuro huffed out. Ha! He was flustered! That was certainly a rare sight in their house.
“What, don’t want your kid brother to cramp your style? Scare her off?”
“No, Gaara it’s just…” Kankuro, who had looked a little frustrated, seemed to relax as he sighed softly. He crossed his arms and leaned back against the wall, tongue darting out to wet his lips before he continued. “I think I really like her, Gaara. I have for a bit and…last night was great. Really great. I just…I want to know her more in my own time before I bring her around you and Temari.”
“That’s fine, Kankuro.” Gaara took a step closer, setting his hand on his brother’s arm and giving it a small squeeze. “Tema and I are kind of a lot so I wouldn’t expect you to want us around her just yet.”
“No, that’s not it, Gaara.” Kankuro shook his head a little bit, setting his hand on top of Gaara’s. “I just…I’m protective of you two. I don’t want to bring someone around and risk you guys getting close to someone just for it to blow up in all of our faces. You know? I want to…make sure she’s right.”
Oh. That certainly wasn’t what Gaara was expecting. He was so used to being the one everyone tipped toed around in their youth. The one his siblings never introduced to new people when his nerves were still raw and exposed in order to preserve some sense of peace. He had never considered that Kankuro had been avoiding dating in general because of Temari and his own sake. It was touching and at the same time a little heart breaking. He couldn’t let himself linger too long on the sad part, though, because it was exciting that Kankuro was so into someone for the first time in…well, maybe forever.
“I understand.” Gaara smiled softly and moved his hand off his brother’s shoulder, nudging him a little in the process. “You don’t have to stress about it, Kankuro. Take it at your own pace. I won’t rush. Where is she, then, if she’s still here?”
“Shower,” Kankuro replied, wincing a bit. “I…may have told her she could use your shampoo.”
Gaara internally groaned and settled for rolling his eyes with a rather dramatic sigh. “You’ll just have to buy me more, then. I suppose I should go before she gets out-”
“Wait a second!” Kankuro grabbed Gaara by the shoulders abruptly, eyes narrowed. “You said you were sleeping over at Naruto’s tonight.”
Damn it. Gaara was hoping his brother would have forgotten about that. “I did, yes.”
“Okay…? So?” Kankuro probed, shaking him a little bit, an eyebrow arched curiously. “Did something happen between you two while you were at Minato and Kushina’s? Cause last I checked you two were, you know…being weird and shit.”
There was too much to explain and not enough time, not with Kankuro’s possible girlfriend in the shower and Naruto still out in the car. Gently, Gaara reached up and removed his brother’s hands from his shoulders and offered a small and, hopefully, reassuring smile. “I’ll explain later. It might still be a little complicated but I’m figuring it out. Trust me.”
He could see the hesitation in Kankuro’s eyes and he couldn’t really blame him. The whole situation with Naruto had been so up and down for the last month. It was only natural that Kankuro would be cautious. However, Kankuro would be easier to deal with than Temari, which was why Gaara was thankful his sister seemed to still be out with Shikamaru. He wouldn’t complain.
“Alright.” Kankuro relented finally with a rather exaggerated sigh. “Tema will be home tomorrow afternoon so we should all hang out and whatever tomorrow night. Have fun and just…be safe.”
“I will.” Gaara promised. He even made a dramatic showing of crossing his heart to emphasize how much he meant it. The worst of it had passed anyways; he was sure he’d have fun, even if some sort of uncomfortable conversation came up. He’d be fine.
Gaara made quick work putting away the leftovers Kushina had sent with him and then ran to his room, grabbing some clean pajamas and clothes for tomorrow before finally making his way back to his car. He tossed his bag, now filled with clean clothes, into the backseat and glanced at Naruto as he buckled his seat belt. “Sorry if I took too long.”
“Nah, you’re fine.” Naruto promised, shoving his phone into his pocket. “I was scrolling through Instagram and texting Sakura. Totally forgot I was even waiting.”
“Good.” Gaara started driving, a soft smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “That girl Kankuro spent the night with was still there, apparently. I think Kankuro really likes her.”
“Seriously?” Naruto sounded thoughtful. “That’s nice for him. He doesn’t normally like…have any interest in people. Did you meet her?”
“No, not yet.” Gaara shook his head a little. “He wants to wait a bit longer before he introduces her to Temari and I. He said he wants to make sure she’s a good one, you know? I guess he doesn’t want to run the risk of Temari and I getting attached to someone who will just leave or hurt us.”
“That…actually sounds exactly like something Kankuro would want.” Naruto agreed, shifting in his seat a little and glancing out of his window at the houses passing by. “That’s sweet of him, though. How do you feel about that?”
Gaara considered the question and didn’t miss Naruto’s softer and more inquisitive tone. Naruto was curious about Gaara’s own feelings towards the situation, knowing full well how Gaara could be when it came to changes in what he considered to be his normal life. He watched the road as he drove slowly, finally shrugging his shoulders a little bit after a couple of quiet minutes. “I hope she’s good to him. I think that’s all I care about.”
Maybe if this had happened a few years earlier Gaara would have been a little more worried. When he was younger he would have, without a doubt, seen someone taking an interest in his brother as some sort of threat to his own safety in his home. It was silly, yes, but made sense with how he felt and how he handled things back before he grew up a little and learned how to cope. It was different now, though, and he wanted nothing more than for his siblings to actually live their lives now that they were able to.
“Your brother is a good judge of character,” Naruto’s hand was on Gaara’s shoulder for just a second, squeezing gently. It made Gaara’s heart skip a beat but the hand was gone a moment later, settling back into Naruto’s lap for the time being.
The drive to Naruto’s apartment didn’t take long, even with the icy roads making him drive slower than normal. The both of them marched up to the apartment, arms filled with their belongings and the food Kushina had sent home with Naruto as well. The apartment was cold when they stepped in and Naruto groaned loudly, shivering. “Jeeze, it’s freezing here. You’d think it snowed inside too!”
Gaara snorted and dropped his overnight bag, taking the food containers from Naruto. “Here, I’ll take these to the kitchen. Go turn on the heater and put your things away.”
“You sound like a housewife.” Naruto giggled, passing the leftovers to Gaara. Gaara blushed a little and when he met Naruto’s gaze the blonde winked at him before turning on his heel and heading towards his bedroom.
He’s even more of a menace now that he knows , Gaara rolled his eyes to himself, an exasperated smile on his lips as he made his way to the kitchen. He thanked God that Naruto had been smart enough to wash the dishes before he left because everyone knew the woes of Naruto Uzumaki returning from vacations to find old, moldy food in his sink from dirty dishes. Sasuke used to moan and groan about it all the time and Gaara, honestly, didn’t have a strong stomach for moldy food. Thank God Naruto thought ahead.
He took his time putting away the food in Naruto’s fridge, after reheating some of the food and making plates for the both of them, of course. Naruto’s apartment had a nice kitchen which was hard to find in one bedroom apartments like his. It was spacious with enough room to move around with more than one person in it, complete with gorgeous white counters that he had no idea how the usually messy blonde kept clean. It was always well stocked as well, though admittedly with far more junk food than there should have been. Naruto knew how to cook, though, and tended to make big meals for his friends whenever he had someone over. He was much like his parents in that regard.
When Gaara emerged from the kitchen about twenty minutes later Naruto was sitting on the living room couch, the TV turned on with some random movie playing. Actually, the more Gaara watched the screen as he approached he realized it was a horror movie, and he snorted to himself as he sat down beside the other. “You put on a scary movie? I usually have to fight tooth and nail for you to agree to watch one with me.”
“This is the only one I’ve watched with you that isn’t scary as all hell.” Naruto retorted with a small scowl, taking one of the plates Gaara offered. “Though the gore factor is a little extreme, I will admit. The monster is cool, though. I think I like monster movies better than ghost movies.”
“That’s fair.” Gaara chuckled a bit, relaxing into the couch. He shoveled a spoonful of food into his mouth, realizing how hungry he was. He chewed slowly, watching the creature feature movie start up on the TV with its usual chilling music and spooky montage of woodland scenery. “I think people are more scared of ghosts than monsters because ghosts are easier to believe in. Most of the time monsters can be explained away by logic and by examining the sheer absurdity of them. Ghosts, though, can be harder to explain away. Sure there are skeptics and there’s ways to disprove most cases but there’s so much we don’t know about existence after death and- why are you looking at me like that?” He had caught the other’s gaze too late, it seemed. Naruto was watching him with a fond expression and Gaara dared to say that there was a pink hue to the other’s cheeks. It made Gaara blush a little himself.
Naruto smiled softly and shook his head, glancing away a little sheepishly now that he had gotten caught. “I just think it's cool how into these things you get. You used to be like that with art, too, you know. You still are sometimes. You’ve always been so passionate about scary movies and everything that goes into it. It's sort of why I agree to watch them with you so often. I…like seeing how passionate you get about the stuff you enjoy. I mean, horror movies were the first thing I ever saw you get even remotely excited about back when we first met.”
Gaara’s face burned a little hotter. Ah, the mortifying ordeal of being seen by others. Not seen on a physical aspect but being seen for who you were and what you loved. The terrifying ordeal of being known and letting someone else love you for it.
Gaara smiled slightly and bit his lip, staring down at his plate of food in his lap for a long moment. “What other things do you notice about me like that?” He felt selfish for asking, like some sort of lonely little child begging to be noticed. Like a stray dog finally being shown a loving and gentle hand after a lifetime of neglect. He could afford to be selfish now, after all this time. He had to. He had bared his heart and soul to Naruto in the cover of night with nothing but a few inches between the both of them. He had been so painfully honest in a way that had made him feel like he’d been cut open, all of his insides on display for the world to see.
So sue him for wanting to know what other parts of himself that Naruto loved.
Naruto laughed that soft sort of laugh that he saved for moments like this. It made Gaara feel warm all over again. He leaned into Gaara’s side a little bit. “I like how resilient you are. I know it isn’t the best thing to admire someone for but you’ve been through so much and you were able to pull yourself out of a really dark place. I remember how difficult it was for you. I remember how much you fought against healing because letting everything that hurt consume you was easier. You just…you stood up when life shoved you down and even though it was hard you never stopped trying. I love that about you, Gaara. Not a lot of people have seen it but I have and…I think you’re really brave.” He paused and took a breath, maybe a little embarrassed by what he had said. “I also really like how despite how scary you look, you’re really just a big softie.”
“Hey!” Gaara laughed a bit at that, jabbing an elbow into the other’s side. “I’m not a big softie.”
“You totally are!” Naruto jabbed him back, cackling a little bit. “I’ve seen the way you look at stray cats, Gaara! You always look ready to cry when you see them! And you can be such a pushover for your friends when they need something. Not that that’s a bad thing at all because it isn’t. You’re just….well, I’ve told you before; you’re sweet, Gaara. So sweet that I honestly feel like it’s a mystery to me how you became so sweet after everything.”
Sweet wasn’t a word he liked to describe himself as. A people pleaser at times, sure, but never sweet. Naruto saw him better than he saw himself, though, and he supposed if he looked over his own behavior towards his friends he would be inclined to agree. He glanced over at Naruto again, taking in the other’s fond, maybe even loving expression. It was a bit painful to witness if he were to be honest but only because he was still playing some sort of waiting game after their more…intimate conversation.
“I also love that you’re scared of birds.” Naruto chimed in after a moment.
Gaara blinked, the moment shattered by his own wave of exasperation. “They’re creepy!” He insisted with a groan, shoving the other a little bit as he gestured to the TV screen where a perfectly timed crow was cawing at the main character. “They’re always looking at people like they know things! It’s weird, Naruto! Birds are weird .”
“They’re birds, Gaara.” Naruto snickered, finally going back to shoveling food into his mouth. The intimacy of the moment had passed but nothing felt strange or uneasy.
Everything felt calm. Easy, even.
The two of them watched the movie in peace, pressed together side by side. They had finished their food quickly and discarded the dishes on the living room table to be dealt with later, settling for chatting here and there about the movie and the believability of the woodland monster that persuaded the main cast. It was the easiest time he’d had with Naruto in a long time, all things considered. Their conversation still hung heavy in his mind, sure, but at least now the two of them were on equal footing. Everything was left in Naruto’s hands now which was probably why it was still so scary. Who knew what would happen now?
The movie ended after an hour and forty minutes of blood and gore and decent quality monster CGI. Gaara stretched out a little bit, wincing at the way his knee ached from its awkward, curled position he had kept the entire time. It was getting late now, nearing ten now that he checked the time. Well, it was technically late. Not by his nightowl standards and not by Naruto’s own energy level standards, either. It was late enough, however, to justify winding down for the night. Like every other sleep over they had in the past, Gaara knew he’d end up sharing a bed with the other. It was still a daunting idea, sure, but he didn’t feel the same panic about it as he had before. It was like a gentle acceptance; it would happen and that was that.
“Do you wanna shower while I get the dishes?” Naruto asked, standing up and scooping the earlier discarded dishes from the table.
“Yeah.” Gaara stood up as well and strode across the living room, picking up his overnight bag from the floor by the front door. “Are we going to hang out here after or in your room?”
“The room.” Naruto called over his shoulder, already striding into the kitchen.
Gaara nodded to himself and made his way to the bathroom.
The shower was nice, even though he had to use Naruto’s god awful shampoo and body wash. He would one day convert Naruto to the wonderful world of what most considered “feminine” soaps and shampoos, he swore it. The cheap smelling ‘mens’ body wash made him roll his eyes. Did it smell clean? Sure, but it didn’t smell good. And the shampoo? Ugh, Gaara’s hair was going to suffer for it until the next time he showered at his own home. One day , he swore to himself. Naruto will discover the joys of fruity scents .
The warm water eased his muscles and his anxiety but he was mindful; Naruto didn’t have the luxury of unlimited hot water in his little apartment the way Gaara did in his house. He made sure to cut it short, stepping out of the shower and wrapping the towel around his hips so that he could brush his teeth and all that other stuff before getting dressed. Once he was dressed in a simple pair of red sweats and an old, loose fitting black t-shirt he made his way out of the bathroom and to Naruto’s room across the small hallway.
Naruto had a rather large bed, which made sense considering he had been living with someone previously who he shared a bed with. He had set it all up nice, with the pillows piled up and several blankets set up and pulled back. The Tv was one, set to play some long ass video game playthrough series as background noise like they usually did when they slept over at Naruto’s apartment. Instead of the jarringly bright overhead light Naruto had, instead, turned on the string of fairy lights that lined the perimeter of the ceiling, casting a light lavender glow around the dim room. It was comfortable, really, and Gaara found himself crawling onto the bed without hesitation, flopping onto some of the pillows with a rather loud huff. Naruto, already seated in his pajamas with his phone playing some sort of video, glanced over at him as Gaara looked at him as well. They shared a small smile and Gaara turned over onto his back, sighing softly up at the ceiling. “I’m glad Christmas is over.”
“Well, it is still technically Christmas Day.” Naruto offered, setting his phone on the bedside table. “But yeah, I get what you mean. It's fun but tiring. Plus my parents have so much energy.”
“Oh, like you don’t?” Gaara scoffed with a sideways look at the other. “You and Lee are probably the most energetic people I have ever met, including your mom and dad.”
“Can’t help it.” Naruto shrugged so casually. “It's totally one of my best qualities anyways.”
“Hm, that is debatable.” Gaara offered with a small smirk.
Naruto feigned a look of annoyance but he couldn’t really keep the smile from his lips. “Ah, shut up. You love me.”
Gaara paused, glancing up at the ceiling for a moment. “I do.” He agreed softly, turning to look back at the other again. “Very much.” It felt so exposing to say it so casually. It wasn’t exactly easy, not with the way his heart started hammering away. But…it did feel sort of casual.
Naruto blushed and bit his lip, nodding slowly, “Yeah, you do.” He agreed, looking down at Gaara who was still lying beside him. A silent moment passed between them, the game play on the tv a light noise in the background as they both stared at each other. Naruto looked like he was thinking hard and Gaara didn’t want to interrupt that. He was internally screeching anyways.
Naruto’s head slowly tilted to the side, his eyes searching Gaara’s face for…something. Gaara wasn’t sure what. He must have found what he was looking for, maybe, because after a long and deep breath he started to speak again. “I thought about it, you know.”
Gaara had to fight to keep the other’s gaze, had to fight his initial urge to tear his eyes away and hide. He nodded slowly, fists clenching in the bedsheets underneath of himself. “And…?”
“...And things are weird and don’t make a lot of sense sometimes.” Naruto sighed. One of his hands moved, finding its way into Gaara’s hair to pet it gently, making Gaara almost melt instantly. “I want to try, though. Us being…more than what we are now. I love you, Gaara, and it might not be…exactly the way you want it to be but I think it can be. I think it will be. With a little time.”
It wasn’t a love confession but somehow it felt better. Naruto saw something inside of Gaara worth loving, something that he wanted to fall in love with. It sounded better, honestly, because Naruto wanted him and wanted to love him more and more. It was terrifying, that was true, because what if it didn’t happen? What if things fell apart for them the same way it had for Naruto and Sasuke?
Gaara swallowed a lump in his throat that he hadn’t even realized had formed. “There…have to be ground rules, then.”
Naruto seemed a little surprised but his hand didn’t move away from Gaara’s hair. “Are there supposed to be rules for dating?”
“Sometimes.” Gaara offered, despite having been single his entire life. He patted the bed beside himself, a silent gesture for the other to lie beside him. Naruto did so, pressed to Gaara’s side and looked at him expectantly. Gaara took a breath to calm himself and thought everything over, jerking in surprise when Naruto’s hand found his and squeezed gently. “Okay. Ground rules…you can’t do that thing where you ignore a problem and hope it passes. Mine or yours, you can’t ignore them because you’re afraid of what will happen. That’s…what you did when we weren’t talking, isn’t it? And it was what you did when you and Sasuke were fighting really bad. You have to try your best not to do that and let me…help you figure it out or something.” It was a bard habit Naruto had always had, one that Gaara hated but had dealt with all these years. It was something that would be hard to break, of course, but Gaara would rather Naruto be open about problems than pretend they didn’t exist entirely.
“That’s fair,” Naruto looked a little embarrassed, caught in his own bad act. He gave a small nod and eyed Gaara, thinking. “Then…you have to stop holding stuff in until you explode. I know how hard it is for you to…talk about your feelings. I know you don’t feel things the same way most people do and that it’s really freaking hard. I get it. I just…also know that you lock yourself away and shut down when you’re upset. You let it fester and drive yourself insane over it until something snaps and…” His hand squeezed Gaara’s once more. “I want to help you. You have to let me help you, Gaara.”
“...Those are the same things, you know. What I said and what you said.” He huffed just a little bit. “But…alright. Deal.” He turned onto his side to face the other better, a small smile on his lips. “You can’t have every date night at a ramen shop.”
Naruto gasped loudly, offended. “I won’t! Maybe just like…half of them.” He offered, huffing a bit. Oh, yeah. He was going to fight that one with all he had, huh? “But then you can’t talk shit about the soaps I use. I know you were hardcore judging in the shower earlier, I could practically smell the disapproval coming from you.”
Gaara grimaced at the thought. “You’re terrible.”
“You’re a priss.” Naruto shot back with a playful smirk.
Gaara grunted and squeezed the other’s hand a little harder, making the blonde hiss in protest. “You’re mean. But fine , I’ll let you have your god awful man soaps.”
Naruto’s grin was practically blinding as he wormed his way closer to the other, practically nose to nose. “Good.” He murmured, eyes darting down to look at Gaara’s lips, a certain look in his eye that suddenly made Gaara feel like a piece of meat to be devoured. Naruto’s eyes met his again, more serious than before. “I got another ground rule.”
Gaara swallowed thickly, very much aware of the fact that Naruto’s hand had left his, only to slide around Gaara’s waist instead. It was a light presence, like the other was waiting for some sort of signal before he did anything else. Gaara could only imagine how red his own face was now. “Tell me.”
Naruto seemed to stare into his soul for a long while, those eyes trailing down to his lips again in a way that made Gaara want to just beg the other to kiss him already. But Gaara waited, heart threatening to rip right through his ribcage. Naruto seemed to take a second to compose himself, forcing his eyes back to Gaara’s. “You have to let me make you feel as special as you make me feel.”
That…wasn’t what Gaara expected to hear and yet, somehow, it was the most intimate thing anyone had ever said to him. He wanted to hide his face. No, even worse, he wanted to crawl under the bed and fade away from existence as his face burned red hot. He tried to turn his face away but Naruto wasn’t having it, surging forward to kiss him instead. It was a soft kiss, nothing more than light lip-to-lip pressure, but it was enough to make Gaara melt. The arm around his waist pulled him closer, his body practically flush against the others. He could feel all the heat radiating off of Naruto and he wanted more of it. So much more.
He made some embarrassing sound, a moan that he would die before admitting to, as his own hand came up to clutch at Naruto’s shirt. It seemed that that was the signal Naruto had been waiting for and he shifted, breaking the kiss only for a moment so that he could crawl on top of Gaara entirely, one hand finding its way into bright red hair as he kissed Gaara again, this time with a lot more effort than before. Gaara’s head swam, an enjoyable and addicting haze around his brain as Naruto’s tongue pushed past his lips, like the blonde was trying to kiss the very soul out of him. It made Gaara moan again, a shuddering sound that had his face red hot, and his body arched up into the others and that… That was something.
The new position Naruto had put them in meant that when Gaara’s body arched up, his hips and Naruto’s hips collided in a way that had their dicks pressing against each other between the thin fabrics of their pajamas. Gaara tore away from the kiss with a shuddering whine and almost instantly he slapped a hand over his own mouth, mortified by the very sound. Naruto, his breathing just a little uneven, stared down at Gaara with wide and enamored bright blue eyes. He started to grin slowly, arching an eyebrow as he deliberately ground their hips together again. A wave of pleasure had Gaara jerking in surprise, grunting softly behind the hand covering his mouth. His eyes narrowed dangerously, though he made no move to stop the other.
“I’ve never heard you sound like that ,” Naruto whispered softly, leaning down to trail his lips down Gaara’s pale throat.
Gaara removed his hand from his mouth, tilting his head to the side a little to give Naruto just a bit more access to his neck. “Sh-shut up.”
“Oh absolutely not,” Naruto snickered against the skin of his neck, lips making Gaara’s body shiver in delight. “I’m totally gonna think about that the next time I jerk off.” He hummed before his teeth were latching onto the gentle skin of Gaara’s neck. Gaara gasped loudly and flat out whimpered, one hand gripping Naruto’s shoulder hard,
Gaara was embarrassed. Mortified. Extremely turned on. The fact that Naruto could say things like that so easily…
Cheeky bastard .
Gaara pushed Naruto back, only a little, using the small ounce of courage he had in himself to grip Naruto’s chin in his hand, forcing the blonde to look back at him. “You don’t have to jerk off if I’m around, you know.” God, he was so fucking embarassed. How were those words even coming out of his own mouth? “I could do it for you.”
This time it was Naruto who turned bright red, a shuddering and breathy moan pushing past his lips as he practically dove down to kiss Gaara again, almost devouring him.
Gaara couldn’t believe the chemistry that clicked between the both of them. Would it have always been this easy? Were they both always this hungry for each other without even knowing? Gaara would have been content without the sex aspect, without too much physical intimacy. He had no idea his body would respond the way it did, practically singing praises every time Naruto touched him.
They didn’t have sex, though. As much as their erections seemed to despise the idea they didn’t have sex. They did make out, though. A lot. Perhaps too much, if the several hickies that littered Gaara’s pale neck were anything to go by. Naruto didn’t come out unmarked either, of course, a hickey standing out loud and proud on his throat that would be really fucking hard to hide with anything other than a scarf. Gaara was particularly proud of that and of Naruto’s wild hair courtesy of Gaara’s fingers raking through it.
They wound up snuggled up to each other, Gaara’s head resting lightly on Naruto’s shoulder while Naruto just simply held him. Everything was so…new and yet at the same time almost nothing had changed. Naruto didn’t love him the exact same way but when he held Gaara just like this, pressing his lips to Gaara’s hair and cheeks and temple every so often even as he watched the Tv, Gaara could feel the love there anyways. It wasn’t perfect but really, what was? Love wasn’t, he knew that first hand. But this right here, what he and Naruto had, it was perfect. And whatever came next, Gaara was ready for it.