Chapter Text
Why couldn’t he just have left it alone?
Once making it to the mess hall all attention was on what the boys were doing. Both on the ground trying to hit at each other while Erwin was currently trying to get Eren off Levi.
“Are y’all fucking kidding me. EREN GET OFF OF HIM RIGHT NOW.” I yelled out. Eren’s head shot up to look at me. Which gave Levi the perfect opportunity to punch him in the head. Shoving Eren off him he got up and dusted himself off with a look of disgust.
“Tch now I’m full of dirt,” Levi was annoyed. “Keep your little boyfriend on a better leash, will you?” He all but rolled his eyes at me while I was now checking on Eren making sure he was ok. Once I looked at Levi, I could see Petra’s pathetic self-trying to check on him while he brushed her off so she would leave him alone.
“Good thing he isn’t my boyfriend because I surely don’t have a leash,” Everyone laughed. “But it wasn’t just him that started this obviously. Knowing you I’m sure you probably egged it on. Y’all are just childish fighting for what like seriously.”
“Hmph, he seemed to be fighting for you. Why, no one will ever know. You’re not worth it.” Petra budded in. I cocked my head at her words thinking whether to say something or not but was interrupted before I could.
“Let’s go before another fight breaks out. Though I’m sure it would be enjoyable to see Y/N fight let’s not. I can only imagine what all her pent-up anger will bring out.” Armin ushered for us to leave. He pushed me and Mikasa while I grabbed Eren’s hand to drag him with us.
Walking up to the car Eren got in and slammed his door while we all piled in as well. I wanted to yell at him but chose better of it. I know once we are back to Armin’s, and I place he will pull me aside to talk. The ride was silent, no music, no talking, only the sound of our breathing. The anger from everyone was evident. Mikasa I’m sure fuming because of the fact Eren was fighting for me, just thinking of me. Eren pissed because of the fight and who knows what else. Armin mad because Eren fought for no reason and pissed me off. And me I’m just annoyed Eren caused more issues. I wanted a good day, a simple day. Of course, though I couldn’t get that kind of day. Not with hot headed Eren. But then again, I’m not sure how the argument started. Levi had something to do with it. But why? It’s not like he cares or anything so why egg Eren on. Or why is he making comments like Eren being my boyfriend. Which he isn’t, though I know he wants to be. And I might play into it sometimes, but I don’t think I can ever actually see anything between us, we are best friends. Then again so were me and Levi and we still….
“Come on let’s go talk.” Eren said breaking me out of my thoughts. I didn’t even realize we had pulled up. I really have been spacing out a lot. Opening the door, we both walked inside and up to my room to talk about, well what happened today. I was exhausted and really didn’t want to talk about it, but it had to be done. Hopefully once done Eren will stop being so hot headed. Once in my room we went and sat on my bed. We just sat there in silence for a few minutes, both getting our thoughts together.
“Why did you do it?” I was the first to speak. Needing it answered I needed to know who started it. Why it started, and if it was all Eren that caused it. Or does Levi still care? Which is absurd because why would he.
“He upset you yesterday. You didn’t tell me why so I assumed the worst of how he could have acted. But” Eren trailed off and adverted his eyes from looking at me. He’s trying to hide something.
“But what Eren. I’m not trying to play any games here. And it doesn’t matter that he upset me its just things I already knew but he just finally said it.” I stared at my hands as I continued. “It’s just the closer I needed. I guess. It’s the things we both knew but had to be said out loud. I more so think he said it so he could believe it himself. He has to hurt me to push me away.”
But why. What is he hiding? Why push me away if I made you happy? Why do what you did? I’ll never understand. I didn’t only lose who I loved but also a best friend. And not even an idiot wouldn’t know he felt the same way.
“I’m not trying to hide anything. Look fine it wasn’t even me who picked the fight. It was Levi”
What but that’s not like him. Why is he giving confusing signals?
“He asked me what was going on between us. I told him none of his business. That your better off without him. And then he got mad. And then we started throwing hits at each other while pretty much yelling and saying that the other was no good for you and going back and forth with insults.” Eren explained what happened.
“Why would he care?” I laughed bitterly.
“Why would it matter if he did. Not like you still care what he thinks right? OR about him right?” I couldn’t look at him when he asked. All I could do was advert my gaze from him. “Y/N he will just hurt you again!!! What is wrong with you?! What is it about him that has you so hooked that you ignore the ones who truly care?! The ones that will truly take care of you and love you.”
At that I looked up at Eren. I knew what he was trying to get at. He wants me to give him a chance, I don’t think I can. I mean Eren of course is attractive. He is tall, messy brown hair, muscular because he works out, Plump lips, along with those gorgeous blue green eyes. But he’s my best friend and Mikasa is in love with him. I couldn’t do that to her.
“Eren, you know I can’t with you.”
“WHY!? I care about you Y/N. I look after you and make sure you're ok. I would treat you good I would treat you right! I pay attention, you have been putting on a act for the past 3 to 4 months. I know you’ve been depressed. You’ve been acting like you're ok like you’re not sad all the time. I CAN MAKE YOU HAPPY. I know I can. SO let me. Why can’t you just let me?” He was starting to get emotional. He was practically begging me.
“Eren please I can’t, and you know that. I know you care, and I appreciate it but I’m ok. We are good as friends. Why push us past that?”
I Wanted him to stop. To give up. But I knew Eren, and he won’t. Me and him though I don’t see it working. Yeah, maybe I’ve played around with the idea and him from time to time in the past few months, but I don’t know about anything actually blossoming from it.
“Then just think about it. I'll let this morning slide. Because honestly, I don’t feel like talking to you anymore. You’ve been playing with me these past few months just know that. Let me know if something changes.” Eren said as he walked to my door. He opened my door then looked back at me one last time, “I love you Y/N as best friends and maybe even more.” And then he was gone.
The tears dropped. I do care and love him and he’s acting like I don’t. How is this fair to me. It’s like he’s guilt tripping me. But that’s not like Eren he wouldn’t do that. He’s just hurt, and it sucks to know I’ve been causing some of that pain. I have been leading him on in a sense with how I act towards him knowing how he feels. But if he knew how Mikasa felt and why I couldn’t maybe he would understand. Though Mikasa herself said she wouldn’t care if me and him were a thing. She said if I wanted to explore things with Eren then don’t let her be why I hold myself back. The question is though do I want to explore that?