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"We need a name," Alexander says. "How about Student Progressive Action?"
"The acronym is SPA," Felix says. "If we talk about SPA club it's going to send a weird message."
"You're right," Alexander answers. "Progressive Student Committee?"
"Too elitist."
Alexander throws back his head. "Well, we need 'progressive' somewhere in there, or else we're going to end up with a bunch of right wingers looking to strip people of the rights we want to protect."
"Progressive Student Society?"
"The acronym sounds like piss," Alexander says. Felix giggles.
"I've got it," Felix says, all of a sudden. "Progressive Student Alliance. PSA for short."
Alexander smiles. "Perfect."
"Now that we have a name and administrative approval," Felix says, referring to the half-hour of arguing they'd done with the vice principal, "we need members."
"Flyers," Alexander says. "I can talk to Science Olympiad, but half of them are Musk supporters."
"I'll ask GSA," Felix pipes up. "Can you design the flyers?"
Alexander's always been good with computers. "Sure."
The flyers come together eventually, and half a week from their conversation, they spend their lunch period pinning them up in the halls. "Let's hope at least one other person in this goddamn school gives a shit," Felix snarks.
"Someone must," Alexander says, half-believing his own words. "They've got to."
They hold their first meeting in the vacant Government classroom. There's a metaphor in that, if Alexander really wanted to tease it out, but they have a meeting to run. Three other people show up- two boys and a girl.
"Everyone listen up!" Felix shouts, and the room whirls around to face him. He motions to Alexander, who full-screens the slideshow on the board. "Welcome to Progressive Student Alliance, known as PSA for short's, inaugural meeting!" The girl and one of the boys are smiling and nodding appreciatively, but the other boy just stares at him with alarming intensity. "Let's, uh, go around and introduce ourselves. Names, pronouns, all that jazz."
"Favorite political or activist leader," Alexander chimes in, because they need something to make it interesting.
"Great idea, I'll go first. I'm Felix, he/him pronouns, and my favorite political leader is Angela Davis."
Combeferre stands up after that. "I'm Alexander, he/they pronouns, and my favorite political leader is Martin Luther King, Jr. Who wants to go next?"
The staring boy's hand shoots up like a spring. "My name is Julien, and my pronouns are he/him." Then, without a shred of irony, he says, "My favorite political leader is Maximilien Robespierre." That gets him a weird look from the other boy. Alexander is a bit surprised. Robespierre? Really? It must show on his face, because the boy hastens to defend his choice.
"Okay, that's fair," Alexander says, after Julien explains to the room that Robespierre was unfairly maligned by the high school education system.
The other boy's name is Eddie and his favorite political leader is Obama. The girl's name is Juliette, and she admires Queen Elizabeth II. Julien grimaces at that one, before quickly rearranging his face into something neutral. It would make sense that a supporter of Robespierre wouldn't be impressed by a queen, Alexander thinks.
"So I should probably talk about why we're here, the purpose of the club, that stuff," Felix says. "I don't recognize any of you from GSA, so you must've seen the flyers hanging up. We're basically a student-led club for people who are interested in progressive politics. That's the social left, if you want to get technical. We're not going to go too deep into economic policy-" Felix cuts off as Julien's hand shoots up again.
"Why not? The two are deeply intertwined due to the nature of class struggle."
"Because that's deeply controversial even among political progressives," Alexander says, giving him the short answer. He tilts his head in understanding, but the look in his dark eyes stays the same. He's intently, intensely focused. Taking in every little bit of information and creating a picture of them out of it. It's a little scary.
Felix continues talking about the aims and struggles of the club- to promote diversity, inclusion, and social action within and outside of the school and to foster discussion about social issues. Julien doesn't take his eyes off Felix the entire time.
After the meeting, Alexander beckons Julien over. For a second, he's worried he's going to ignore him, but he comes over without a word.
"What you said about economic policy was correct," Alexander says. "I'm a socialist myself, and Felix is a communist. But if we billed this club as being about Marxist theory, the parents would raise an uproar and get it shut down."
Julien stares at him for a minute. His eyes are incredibly dark, full of an emotion Alexander can't quite identify. "Oh yeah, that totally makes sense," he says. "People wouldn't come."
Hardly anyone came anyways, Alexander thinks, but high school is high school.
"Thanks for doing this," Julien says, and just a tiny hint of something bleeds into his voice, dark and curling and desperate. "It's important work."
"You're welcome," Alexander says, because what else is he supposed to say? "I hope to see you back next week."
Julien comes back the next week, and the next. One week, Eddie doesn't show up. By the next week, Juliette is gone too. Now, it's just the three of them.
"There's a protest coming up in the square," Julien tells them. "You interested?"
"Absolutely," says Felix. Alexander nods, and Julien flashes a rare smile. Julien doesn't smile much. It's like his expression is permanently frozen in neutral contemplation, as opposed to Felix's impish grins. Alexander isn't much of a smiler either, but Julien seems downright allergic. "You want to catch a movie afterwards?"
"Great idea," Alexander says, but Julien freezes like a deer caught in headlights.
"I, uh, I have a test the next day, I'd better not," he says. Alexander doesn't think much of it. School is important, after all.
This happens three more times before Alexander starts getting concerned. Each time, they go to some kind of rally or event, and each time Julien declines to join them afterwards. He always makes a half-assed excuse or leaves the room.
"Hey, if you don't want to hang out with us, that's okay," Alexander tells him one day at lunch. Julien just blinks with his overlong eyelashes.
"What?"
"You always turn us down when we ask you to do stuff with us. I was just wondering why."
"I do stuff with you!" Julien says, sounding confused. "Volunteering at the dog shelter was Felix's idea!"
Alexander shifts. "You do activism stuff with us. But whenever we do fun stuff, you don't show up."
"I'm not very good at having fun," Julien says quietly.
"What do you mean?"
"Look, Alexander. I think you're really cool and I enjoy spending time with you, but if you're looking for someone to go to the movies or a party with, I'm not that guy."
"Okay, Julien."
"No, really," he says. "I can't be that guy. I can't care about having fun or a good time. That's just not me. It's not who I am. I'm not avoiding you because I don't like you guys, I just don't really know how this works."
"Seriously, Julien, it's okay," Alexander says. "I'm just worried that if you never relax, you're gonna burn yourself out."
"I don't need you to baby me, Alexander."
"I'm not babying you. I'm just saying. I'd go insane if I was you."
Julien opens his mouth as if to say something, but then shuts it again. He sighs, a heavy sigh. "Where were you guys two years ago?"
"What do you mean?"
"Freshman year was horrible. You guys are juniors too, you were there. Why didn't you start this sooner? Sophomore year, too."
"We wanted to get a feel for the school first. I met Felix in freshman year, and I didn't start getting into politics until I was a sophomore. Felix kind of radicalized me. I don't think we had any classes together. I'd have noticed you."
"I don't know how to have friends," Julien says. "You and Felix, you're able to... switch."
"What do you mean?"
"You can be doing activism one minute and going to the movies the next. You can turn that part of you off. I can't."
Alexander stares, at a loss.
"I'm worried about Julien," Alexander tells Felix, the next day when he's at his house. "From what I've heard from him, he had a really bad freshman year."
"I remember him," Felix says. "It was before I transitioned, but he was in my English class. He was always really outspoken and... oh, shit, I never said anything. Remember my English teacher? The one I always complained about?"
"Yeah," Alexander says. "The racist one, right?"
"He was being a dick to Julien about his sexuality, and I didn't say anything, because I didn't want to get bullied. I don't think he remembers."
"He probably doesn't. You weren't you back then."
"Second semester was when the radical politics hit."
"It's not your fault. Nobody else said anything either," Alexander says.
"I know," replies Felix. "But still."
Julien takes a visibly deep breath. "I will go to Homecoming," he says, each word sounding unnatural in his mouth. "If I can wear a dress."
"Why?" Felix asks.
"Because," he says, "I am making a protest against traditional gender norms in a high school setting."
Alexander glances at Felix, who shrugs. "All right, then."
Homecoming at Pinewood High School is a big event. Alexander and Felix both get dressed up in suits. Felix is in his element. He loves dancing and socializing. Alexander, not so much. He'll go, and he'll have a good time, but only if Felix goes.
Julien shows up at their door in a sparkly blue dress that goes to his knees. It hits Alexander that Julien looks good in it. Julien is attractive from a purely aesthetic standpoint, tall, with short-cropped blonde hair that has black roots streaking through, and dark almond eyes. He could have any girl he wants, if it wasn't for the fact that he's an outspoken political radical.
"Uh, hi," Julien says. "You guys look nice."
"You too. Definitely making a statement."
Julien smiles, almost, but not quite. "That's the idea."
Alexander drives them. They pull up to the school, stand in line to get their tickets, and walk through the door. It's an onslaught of streamers and balloons, and he finds them a table near the back. Felix grins as the music comes on. "Let's dance."
Julien draws stares, and a few slurs under students' breaths. He doesn't seem to care what they call him, he just winks and asks if they'd like some. Felix must be rubbing off on him. And oh fuck- Julien has managed to turn a fun high school event into activism.
As the night goes on, Julien begins to look uncomfortable. He sits at the table, staring into space. Alexander lays a hand on his shoulder and gently gets his attention. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah- yeah, I'm fine," he says. He doesn't look fine. His eyes aren't watering, but they're a little too bright.
"Did someone say something shitty?"
"Well, yes, but I don't actually care."
"What's wrong, then?"
"I don't get it," he says. "Everyone here is having fun but I'm just... empty."
"Do you want to leave?"
"Yeah."
Alexander tracks down Felix, asks if he wants to stay and get a ride to his house from someone else. "No," Felix says. "If Julien is uncomfortable, I'm going with him."
Alexander thanks the God he only halfway believes him that he has a friend like Felix.
They drive home, Julien sitting quietly the entire time. "I don't think I'm like you," he says finally. "I can't go out and have a good time. It's too much. I can stand up in front of a crowd and talk, no problem, but I can't go to a fucking dance."
"I think I understand," Felix says. "You just don't like social events. You prefer socialism events."
Julien barks a quiet laugh at that, and Alexander soon realizes he's laughing too.