Chapter Text
‘Cause you get lighter the more
it gets dark
I’m gonna give you my heart, oh
- Coldplay
Oikawa had always been self-assured. He knew how handsome he was, knew what to say and how to smile to put any girl or boy at his feet. But damn, he was starting to break out in a cold sweat while he waited for Iwaizumi.
With Iwaizumi, he'd been kind of on autopilot since they'd met. Oikawa didn't think much before saying or doing something because that boy left him on edge. Not in a bad way, but in an exciting way. In a way no one had ever made him feel before.
It was the first time they were going to meet alone outside of school and Oikawa's hands were shaking just thinking about it. At school it was easy to deal with Iwaizumi and all the agitation he caused him. His other friends were always around to distract him, and when they weren't, there was always a pile of books and homework between him and Iwaizumi.
But this time it would be just the two of them on a date.
Oikawa knew Iwaizumi saw it as a friends’ outing, but he liked to think of it as a date. He liked to think that maybe they would kiss before they each returned to their homes. He felt his face heat up just thinking about it.
And the feeling intensified when Hajime arrived. Oikawa hadn't realized it until that moment, but there was a small part of him that was afraid that Iwaizumi wouldn't show up.
"Hey, Oikawa.” He greeted him with his usual deep voice that made Oikawa shiver pleasantly.
"Hi," Tooru muttered, his hands clenching nervously inside his coat pockets.
They stared at each other in silence, blushing. Iwaizumi was the first to look away and scratched the back of his head.
“Are we going somewhere or what…”
"Oh… of course!" Tooru laughed, feeling stupid.
"Are the other boys coming too?"
"No. I thought it might just be you and me," Oikawa replied hesitantly, biting his lip. "Do you want me to call them too?"
"No," Iwaizumi answered too quickly and Oikawa was relieved.
They got on the subway, found an empty seat and sat next to each other, and although they had enough space, they leaned against each other. The doors closed and the subway began to move.
Oikawa laid his head on Iwaizumi's shoulder and hugged his arm. It was very cold and Iwaizumi was warm and smelling so good. Oikawa nuzzled his coat discreetly.
He had never been very affectionate with his friends, not in that physical way at least, but since he'd kissed Iwaizumi on the cheek that night, he couldn't take his hands off the other boy. And since Hajime didn't show any discomfort with it - he would have punched Oikawa if he didn't like it - Tooru wasted no opportunity to show his affection for him.
"Those girls can't stop staring at you," Hajime grumbled and Tooru lifted his head, looking in the direction the boy had pointed discreetly.
In fact, there was a group of girls who looked about the same age as them, giggling and looking their way as they whispered to each other.
He grinned at Iwaizumi, but inwardly, Oikawa rolled his eyes.
"They might be looking at you too. You're all handsome" Iwaizumi snorted.
"As if."
Oikawa laughed and poked him in the ribs.
“Which one of them you'd hookup?” he whispered, as if anyone besides them could hear.
"None."
"Eh, Iwa-chan! Are none of them pretty enough for you? I didn't know you were picky about girls."
"I'm not picky," Iwaizumi hesitated and peered at him. "I'm gay."
"Ah..." was all Oikawa managed to say, still clinging to Iwaizumi's arm.
It wasn't that Oikawa was surprised, but the confirmation of that made him strangely happy.
It must have taken him too long to come up with a decent answer, as Iwaizumi pulled away from him a little, frowning.
“Do you have a problem with that?” he asked cautiously, and Oikawa snapped out of his daze.
"No!" Oikawa shook his head vehemently. "No problem! I'd be a hypocrite if I cared about that since I'm bi."
"Hm. I figured" Hajime grumbled, relaxing again. "It's kind of obvious that you're not straight" he said with a shrug.
Oikawa pressed his face to his shoulder, laughing. Iwaizumi placed a hand on his leg.
Oikawa turned his face to look at the girls. They weren't laughing anymore, now they were pouting sadly while pretending not to look at him and Hajime.
Great , Tooru thought, smiling, refraining from sticking his tongue out at them.
"Everyone knows?" he asked Iwaizumi.
“Everyone who knows me, I guess.”
"Even your parents?" Iwaizumi nodded.
"They caught me kissing a boy in my room when we were supposed to be doing homework."
Oikawa gasped dramatically, pretending to be scandalized.
"Iwa-chan!"
Iwaizumi, however, smiled sadly at him.
"Things got kind of ugly with my mom."
Oikawa's smile died instantly.
"What? Seriously?"
Iwaizumi nodded, looking down at his hand that was caressing Oikawa's thigh.
“My dad took my side, but my mom got really mad. We fought a lot. I stayed with my grandparents for a few days until she calmed down."
“Oh, Iwa-chan, I'm so sorry about that. How are things now?"
“We never brought up that subject again. I think she pretends her only son isn't gay," Iwaizumi laughed humorlessly. "I miss what our relationship was like, but I'm also kind of relieved that I don't have to hide who I am anymore.”
Oikawa couldn't imagine what it was like not having his own mother's support.
Iwaizumi nudged his knee.
"And do your parents know about you?"
“It's just me and my mom and she knows. She was the first person I told this to, actually.” Oikawa looked up, smiling at him. “It may seem a little silly, but my mom is my best friend."
Iwaizumi smiled back at him.
“It's not silly. It's cute.” Iwaizumi pinched his nose lightly, making Oikawa laugh. "But what about your…" he didn't finish and Oikawa found his embarrassment adorable.
"My mother was very young when she got pregnant, she had just entered college. Her boyfriend at the time didn't feel 'ready to be a father' " Oikawa made air quotes.
“Holy shit,” Iwaizumi swore, looking genuinely angry. "And he never made contact?" Oikawa shook his head.
"He must not feel ready yet," Oikawa scoffed.
"Have you ever been curious to meet him?"
“No… I mean, yes, a little. When I was a kid I was curious to know who my father was, but I grew up enough to understand how amazing my mom is, and how hard she had to work to give me a comfortable life. Now I don't care anymore."
"If your father knew you now, I bet he would regret all the years he wasn't with you."
Hajime raised his other hand to touch Tooru's hair. Tooru buried his face in Hajime's coat, breathing in his scent and sighing contentedly, feeling Hajime's fingers slide through his chestnut locks and his short nails scratching his scalp gently. Tooru wouldn't be surprised if he began purring like a cat.
"Oh, and by the way, I got back to talking to my friends." Oikawa could hear the smile in his voice and couldn't help but smile too.
"That's good, Iwa-chan, I'm so glad to hear that." Oikawa slid a hand down Iwaizumi's arm to his hand. Oikawa touched it with his fingertips, feeling the calluses on Iwaizumi's fingers. "Hey, Iwa-chan?"
“Hm?”
"Was that boy your boyfriend?"
“Who?”
“The one you kissed in your room.” Iwaizumi chuckled through his nose and laid his cheek on the top of Oikawa's head.
"No. He was just a cute boy who was my classmate. I never dated anyone."
"Me neither."
"For real?" Iwaizumi looked genuinely surprised and Oikawa was amused.
"Really. Why the surprise?"
"Because you're… you ."
"I'll take that as a compliment." The boy laughed and, while Oikawa was still touching his hand, Iwaizumi intertwined their fingers.
Oikawa stared at their joined hands for a moment, noticing how perfectly they fit together, and buried his face in Iwaizumi's shoulder again, hiding his smile and his flushed face.
"I mean, there are a lot of people who wouldn't think twice about dating you."
“Is this you admitting that I'm handsome, Iwa-chan, and that you're one of those people who wouldn't think twice about dating me?” Oikawa smirked at him, but whimpered when Iwaizumi tugged hard on a lock of his hair.
“Although with that shitty personality of yours, no relationship would last long.”
“Iwa-chaaaaan.”
They got off the subway soon after, and as much as Oikawa wanted to spend the whole day holding hands with Iwaizumi, he knew it would be awkward, so he let go of his hand as soon as they left the station.
"So which way are we going?" Iwaizumi asked, curious, as soon as they stepped onto the sidewalk.
Oikawa grabbed him by the shoulders and turned him around until Iwaizumi was facing the street.
“There.” Oikawa pointed to Ueno Park across the street.
"Ah… Wow, how beautiful."
Oikawa laughed and wrapped an arm around his shoulders as they crossed the street.
“It's not as pretty as it is in the spring or fall, and it's a little chilly for a picnic, but it's still worth it.”
Iwaizumi looked at him and smiled.
"We have to come during the other seasons then."
Oikawa came to an abrupt stop on the sidewalk. That boy, who previously didn't want to leave his house, had just arrived at the park and was already planning to go again. Things were turning out a lot better than Oikawa had imagined.
"What is it?" Iwaizumi stopped too. Oikawa hugged his shoulders and kissed him on the cheek. "W-What's that for?" Iwaizumi's face looked like it was about to burst into flames.
Oikawa ignored him, grinning from ear to ear and dragged him to the first park guide map they found. He pointed to the attractions and talked about which ones he liked the most.
"I want to see the pandas and the art museums," Iwaizumi said and Oikawa laughed, he had already imagined that he would want to see the art museums.
“The Science Museum is great too. We can see the Toshogu Shrine,” He pointed to the map. “It has gold-leaf Chinese style doors."
Iwaizumi agreed with all of his suggestions, looking eager to start exploring the park soon, and Oikawa was more than happy to indulge him.
They walked along the central path where hundreds of cherry trees, which only bloom between March and April, were lined up, their dry branches covered in snow.
“You definitely need to see this during spring,” Tooru muttered, imagining him and Hajime walking under the cherry trees in full bloom, the sakura petals falling on them as they held hands and leaned towards each other for a ki…
"Hey, Oikawa." Iwaizumi was nudging his shoulder. Oikawa shook his head, getting rid of that fantasy and pushed his glasses up his nose, looking at the boy.
"What?"
“I called you several times. What planet were you on?" Iwaizumi laughed.
In a world where we kiss under these cherry trees, Oikawa thought and his face turned the color of the petals that bloomed in those trees once a year.
"N-Nothing… C'mon, let's see the art museum and then I'll show you my favorite museum."
They visited other park attractions on the way to the National Museum of Western Art. Oikawa took his cell phone out of his pocket and took several selfies of the two of them together along the way, and Iwaizumi sulked in all of them because he didn't want to take any pictures.
Oikawa had only visited that museum and the Tokyo Metropolitan Museum of Art once each, and his visits didn't last long as it all seemed kind of boring to him.
But with Iwaizumi nothing seemed to be boring and they spent over an hour at the Museum. Iwaizumi was so excited that he looked like a child whose parents took them to a toy store and told them to pick anything. He couldn't stop talking about his favorite painters and the paintings he liked best, and explaining the meanings behind some.
Oikawa couldn't stop smiling, he wanted to see Iwaizumi lively and talkative like that all the time.
"Have you always liked these things?" Oikawa asked as they walked slowly around the place.
Iwaizumi nodded.
"Always. My parents say they had to buy me crayons every week because I spent all day drawing." Tooru couldn't even imagine how cute Hajime must have been as a child, carrying his crayons with him all the time.
"You look so cute talking so excitedly about the things you like," Oikawa said smiling. He slipped an arm around Iwaizumi's shoulders and pulled him close.
Iwaizumi gave him a shy smile.
"Just like you in our science classes at the library," Iwaizumi said smiling and held Oikawa's hand that was draped over his shoulder and kissed it.
Oikawa wondered at that moment if it was possible to have a heart attack at the age of 16. It could only be that. He had no other explanation for the pressure in his chest, as if his heart was trying to fight its way out of his body, or for why his legs felt like jelly.
Tooru leaned all his weight on Hajime and buried his face in his neck, grunting, completely over heels for that boy.
“You'll still be the death of me,” he murmured against Hajime's warm skin.
Hajime laughed and Tooru felt the sound reverberate through his chest.
“What did I do?” Iwaizumi asked innocently.
He has no idea, Oikawa thought. He has no idea what he does to me .
Oikawa allowed himself to stay there for a moment longer, huddling with Iwaizumi, enjoying his scent and warmth.
“Hey,” Iwaizumi said. “Speaking of science, take me to your favorite museum now."
"Already? Don't you want to see more things here?"
“We've seen everything here. And we can always come again, right?"
"Of course! We can come back as many times as you want." Before walking away from him, Oikawa took out his cell phone and took another selfie of them, and this time, Iwaizumi was smiling.
At the National Museum of Nature and Science, Oikawa took him straight to the fossilized animals section.
“This was my favorite section when I was a kid. Especially the dinosaurs. I used to spend hours here."
Behind him, Iwaizumi laughed as they walked across the first floor.
"I don't know why it doesn't surprise me at all," Oikawa looked over his shoulder and stuck his tongue out at him, "What's your favorite section right now?"
“Oh, Iwa-chan, what a tough question!” he cried. “I like everything here. But if you put a gun to my head and made me choose...
"I don't intend to do that," Iwaizumi interrupted him. Oikawa ignored him and continued talking.
"I would choose the research and technology progress section. That floor is amazing. But… The evolution of life section is amazing too."
Oikawa sighed heavily, as if he was facing the hardest choice of his life. He looked at one of the dinosaur fossils on display there.
"Or maybe… the dinosaurs are still my favorites."
He continued to ponder his choices, explaining each one as they made their way through the museum, exploring the other sections on the second and third floors.
Iwaizumi was looking at him, amused.
"Okay, okay. I got it. You're a nerd, I'm not going to ask you to choose anymore."
Oikawa pouted sadly, stuffing his hands in his pockets.
“Sorry,” he muttered. “I always end up getting carried away when I talk about these things.
"No need to apologize, Dummykawa, I kind of... like hearing you talk about these things."
To Oikawa's delight, Iwaizumi seemed genuinely interested in what he was saying. Usually, people got so bored when he started chatting about science-related stuff that they couldn't even pretend they were paying attention. But Iwaizumi seemed to want to absorb every word Oikawa was saying.
Tooru couldn't help the ear-to-ear grin that spread across his face.
"Are you going to be one of those fancy scientists who makes discoveries for the good of humanity?" Iwaizumi asked as they exited the museum.
"Nah. My mom says I should do this, but I want to be a teacher. I want to teach more than just science, Iwa-chan, I want to teach people to love science."
“Professor, huh?” Iwaizumi smiled. "You're very good at it. Your future students are going to be very lucky.”
Oikawa chuckled silly, not bothering to hide how happy Iwaizumi's compliment made him.
"Oh! It's lunch time already,” he said, checking the time on his cellphone. "Shall we find where to eat? Then we go to see the pandas."
"Yeah, let's go. I'm starving."
After each of them ate a bowl of ramen, they went to the Ueno Zoo.
Iwaizumi was so excited to see the pandas that he walked ahead of Oikawa.
"Hold on, Iwa-chan," Oikawa had to speed up his pace to keep up with him "The pandas won't run away."
"C'mon, Sluggishkawa."
"Where do you get so many variations on my name?"
"I can think of several more, Shittykawa."
"Hey!"
They bickered on the way to the zoo, but stopped as soon as Iwaizumi's attention focused to the animals.
Iwaizumi wanted to see all the animals, but was particularly fascinated by the pandas.
“You could be as cute as pandas if you didn't have such a sour face, Iwa-chan… Ouch!” Oikawa whimpered as Iwaizumi smacked him on the head. “A gorilla, then, mean Iwa-chan!"
“And you're stupid as a fish, Stupidkawa. Did you know there's a fish named after you?”
They argued during their visit to the zoo, both pointing out the animals and saying which one looked the most like whom. By the time they left the zoo, Oikawa had laughed so hard his belly hurt.
“Hey, my feet are killing me. Let's sit down for a while,” Iwaizumi grumbled and sank down on a bench near the zoo's exit.
"Of course, old man," Oikawa teased, sitting next to him.
Iwaizumi took a small sketchbook and pencil from an inside pocket of his coat, opened it to a random page, and started sketching.
"Do you take this with you everywhere?" Oikawa asked, seeing that there were already other pages full of sketches. Iwaizumi just nodded, looking too focused to verbalize a response. Oikawa liked that about him.
Oikawa leaned against him, watching as the lines Iwaizumi was sketching began to take shape.
"What are you doing there?" he asked, his voice muffled as his cheek was squished against Iwaizumi's shoulder.
"Godzilla fighting a giant panda."
" What ?" Oikawa chuckled, realizing he could now make out the silhouettes of buildings and two large monsters fighting.
It wasn't news to anyone that Iwaizumi was kind of obsessed with Godzilla. He had Godzilla keychains in his backpack, stickers pasted on his books, his cell phone case was Godzilla, and whenever he had the opportunity, Iwaizumi would bring up his favorite monster in any conversation.
"Why are they fighting?"
"Because the giant panda came from space and is trying to colonize Earth to bring the rest of its people. Godzilla is the defender of humanity."
"That makes no sense." Oikawa was still laughing. Iwaizumi smiled at him and tapped his nose with the pencil.
“Of course to your scientist's brain that doesn't make sense.”
So this was the kind of artist Iwaizumi was when he wasn't painting melancholy things? Oikawa already knew that Iwaizumi was kind of silly sometimes, as any boy of their age should be, but Oikawa didn't imagine that seeing that side of Iwaizumi in his drawings would make him so happy.
Tooru looked at the boy, taking in Hajime's features as he was absently drawing. The expressive eyebrows, the adorably messy hair, the prominent jaw. In the sunlight, his skin looked golden and Tooru fought the urge to touch his face.
"What is it?" Oikawa heard him mutter and realized that Iwaizumi was staring back at him.
Tooru was close enough to him to notice the golden flecks blending into the green in Hajime's eyes.
"Nothing," Tooru backed away a bit as he noticed the pink hue in Hajime's cheeks. "You look happy," Oikawa said, smiling. Iwaizumi's eyes flicked to Tooru's lips for a second.
"Yeah, I am." Iwaizumi smiled back at him and resumed his drawing.
"Who's going to win this fight?"
“Godzilla, of course. He's the good guy, the panda is the invader."
Oikawa laughed again, content with just sitting there with Iwaizumi, watching the other boy drawing.
They ended up staying there for so long that when they realized it was almost dusk, they decided to end the tour and head back home. Iwaizumi said he wanted to come back another day as he still had another art museum he wanted to visit.
On the way home the boys sat in silence on the subway, both tired.
"Hey, Oikawa," Iwaizumi called after a while.
“Hmm?”
"Where will you take me next time?"
Smiling, Oikawa leaned his head against the window behind him.
“I don't really know yet. What do you miss most?” Iwaizumi thought for a while before answering.
"I love going to my grandparents' house. It's my favorite place, and it seems like a magical place, you know" Iwaizumi laughed. "I can't explain it, you have to see it to understand. They live outside the city and it's the best place for anyone who likes to stargazing."
"And you like it?" Iwaizumi nodded and turned to Oikawa.
"Here it's hard to see anything other than the city lights."
"That's right" Oikawa agreed and leaned his head against the window again, smiling. "Okay. I know where to take you then."
"Where?"
"It's a secret, Iwa-chan." Iwaizumi snorted, but didn't insist.
Oikawa yawned and laid his head on Hajime's shoulder and the boy wrapped an arm around him, tugging him closer.
"I really enjoyed spending the day with you today," Hajime spoke quietly.
Oikawa was smiling so much that his face hurt, but he couldn't stop.
"Me too, Iwa-chan."
***
It wasn't common for Oikawa to go somewhere other than the library after school ended, but that day he made an exception for Iwaizumi, since the boy wouldn't shut up about a movie theater that showed old movies and he'd found out that that afternoon one of the old Godzilla films would be playing.
Oikawa was just a little jealous that Iwaizumi had invited the other boys to come along too, but he knew that unfortunately he couldn't have Hajime all to himself all the time. And he also didn't want to be the type of person who start ignoring his friends after getting a… boyfriend? No, he wasn't that deluded. A special… friend? A favorite one?
Either way, he didn't want the others to feel left out because of Iwaizumi.
He liked the Godzilla movies he had already seen, but not enough to watch it more than once, let alone several times as he knew Iwaizumi had. But it was nice to watch on the big screen and with the other boys along - although he paid more attention to his hands brushing Iwaizumi's as they grabbed popcorn and how they were so close to each other in those cramped seats that it would be easy to turn his face and kiss Iwaizumi there in the dark, where no one else but them would know.
After they left the cinema, they strolled around the Shibuya region for a while and it was captivating how impressed Iwaizumi seemed to be with everything he saw. For Oikawa, who had grown up amidst the organized chaos that was that metropolis, little could have surprised him at this point, but for Iwaizumi, who had spent his entire life in the countryside, it was as if a new adventure awaited him around every corner.
The other boys said their goodbyes, each of them with their own affairs, and Iwaizumi and Oikawa were left alone.
Oikawa had planned to go out with Iwaizumi the next day, but since they were already there…
"Hey, Iwa-chan, want to go somewhere cool?" he knew he didn't have to ask, Iwaizumi's excitement was enough of an answer.
"Of course! Are we going to the Skytree?" Oikawa laughed and shook his head. Iwaizumi made the cutest pout Oikawa had ever seen. "Ah… I wanted to see the Skytree."
Oikawa tugged him by the sleeve of his coat, leading him through the crowd on the sidewalks, and smiled over his shoulder at him.
"We'll go another day, I promise! But not today. I already had a place in mind for us to go and it's close by."
Iwaizumi seemed pleased enough with the promise to visit Skytree another day.
"Where are we going then?"
"Well… you told me you miss looking up at the night sky and seeing the stars, and since I can't take you out of town for now, I thought of another place where you could see them."
Iwaizumi was silent the rest of the way as they walked, probably trying to guess for himself where they were going.
Oikawa wanted to look back and try to decipher from Iwaizumi's expression what he was thinking of that flurry of colors and sounds, of the landscape of large futuristic buildings with a pink sunset in the background, but he focused on not getting lost in the intense movement of the late afternoon.
"My parents will be mad if I come back late, and we have class tomorrow" he heard Iwaizumi's voice over the cacophony around them.
"I know, I know. I have time to get home, too, but we won't be late, I promise." Oikawa stopped walking and turned to him. "And we've just arrived, by the way!" Iwaizumi glanced up at the building they'd stopped in front of.
"A Planetarium?" Iwaizumi chuckled and Oikawa felt his face burn with embarrassment immediately. Oh God, it had been a stupid idea, hadn't it? Iwaizumi would find that ridiculous, childish. Iwaizumi was going to… Iwaizumi looked at him again with a wide smile that reached his eyes. "You really are a genius, Oikawa Tooru" he said, still laughing, and Oikawa realized it was a laugh of happiness and not mockery.
"Oh, i-its not a b-big deal…" he chuckled awkwardly, because it really wasn't a big deal. There were several Planetariums around the city, anyone would have thought of that, but… Iwaizumi looked so happy that Oikawa felt stupid for not having thought of it sooner . "Come, let's go inside."
The boys paid for their tickets and entered the dome where the exhibitions were held and took their seats.
It had been a while since Oikawa had visited a planetarium and he didn't even remember when it was the last time. He really enjoyed going when he was younger and went through a Star Trek obsession phase that lasted a few years. He loved the sensation of being on a spaceship, commanding a crew just like Captain Kirk. After his obsession had subsided, he also ended up losing some interest in planetariums.
But when he looked to his right to see what Iwaizumi was thinking of the exhibit and saw his expression, Oikawa knew that this planetarium would become one of his favorite places.
The same stars, planets, comets that were displayed in the dome above them were reflected on Hajime's face. Thousands of shimmering dots, silver and gold, danced gracefully over his skin. There was a moon over his nose, a constellation over his forehead, and then the sky above them changed and thousands of stars began to illuminate his face.
His wide eyes gleamed with admiration and he held up a hand, as if to take one of those stars for himself.
In that dark room, Hajime looked like a boy made of stars, light and dreams.
Oikawa was not an artist, like Iwaizumi. He couldn't pick up a canvas and a brush to paint that boy, but in that moment Tooru knew that Hajime would be painted under his eyelids, in his soul and in his heart, forever.
Seeming to feel his gaze, Hajime turned to face him and Tooru felt thousands of supernovas exploding inside him. His heart started to beat at the same speed as the hundreds of shooting stars that were crossing Hajime's face.
Hajime was so handsome that Tooru could stare at him all day.
If Iwaizumi asked, Oikawa would build a rocket to fetch a star for him. Oikawa would bring him the damn moon if Iwaizumi asked for it.
They stared at each other in silence for a second, and then Iwaizumi smiled, and that smile could put any star to shame. Oikawa let out a deep sigh and felt everything calm within him. He smiled back at Iwaizumi and leaned over the arm of his chair to talk to him.
"It's like home?" he whispered so as not to disturb the other people around them.
Iwaizumi's face softened, still smiling.
“Back home they don't look as close as they do here.” He gestured to the stars above them.
"I know they're not real stars..."
"Oikawa," Iwaizumi interrupted, firmly. “This is perfect, seriously. But if you really want to see a real starry sky, one day I'll take you to my favorite place."
"Really?" Oikawa said excitedly and Iwaizumi nodded. "Do you promise?"
"I do"
"Pinky promise?" Oikawa reached out his right hand, showing him his pinky.
Iwaizumi rolled his eyes, but he was still smiling. He linked his finger to Oikawa's.
"Pinky promise" he said and Oikawa smiled, satisfied, and was about to pull back his hand when Iwaizumi took it to his own lips and placed a tender kiss on the back of his hand.
Oikawa turned his face so Iwaizumi wouldn't see all the shades of pink exploding in his cheeks. When he thought that his poor heart had taken too much for just one day, Hajime intertwined his fingers with Tooru's.
Oikawa looked at him, unable to hide his surprise. Iwaizumi was looking back at him with raised eyebrows, as if asking him if that was okay. Oikawa stared at their joined hands between the seats for a moment, thinking of the other day when Iwaizumi had also taken his hand on the subway.
Oikawa wanted to reply loud and clear that this was more than fine, it was perfectly fine, but he didn't trust his voice at that moment, so he just squeezed Iwaizumi's hand, hoping he would get the message, and looked back to the starry sky above them.
When the exhibition ended, they were still holding hands and walked like that to the station to take the subway back home.
***
"I can't believe the holidays are finally here, I'm exhausted," Sakusa said, sitting next to Iwaizumi on the bench.
"Yeah, finally," muttered Makki, who was sitting on the grass in front of them, hugging his knees, head tucked in his arms.
The snow had eased a few days ago, and it was an uncharacteristically warm day for December. The boys were basking in the sun while waiting for Oikawa, who had disappeared after the last class.
Oikawa had been a bit grumpy since Iwaizumi had told him that he would be spending the holidays in his hometown with his grandparents. At first, Oikawa had been happy that he was going to spend time with his family, but then he realized that Iwaizumi would be spending most of their winter break away, while they could be together.
Since he had moved, what Iwaizumi wanted most was a chance to come back, but he would never have imagined that when he finally got that chance, he would hesitate because of Oikawa. He wanted to go back home, but at the same time, he didn't want to be away from Tooru.
"Ah, here comes our favorite little genius," Matsukawa smiled at Oikawa, who arrived carrying a pile of large, heavy books in his arms.
Oikawa dropped the books on one edge of the bench and puffed tiredly.
"What the hell are you going to do with all of that?" Kyoomi frowned down at the books. "Our winter break starts tomorrow."
Oikawa pushed Iwaizumi, making him to make room for him on the bench and nearly knocking Sakusa down. Then he lay down in the now empty space and laid his head on Iwaizumi's lap.
"I'm going to study, huh. Since my Iwa-chan is going to leave me" he said dramatically, pouting.
Iwaizumi rolled his eyes and tried to look calm, but his heart kept bursting out of his chest whenever Oikawa did that sort of thing in front of others. His hand automatically went to Oikawa's hair and he slid his fingers through the silky strands. Oikawa smiled at him and closed his eyes, letting out a contented sigh. With the other hand, Iwaizumi gently removed the glasses from his face.
Oikawa reached for Iwaizumi's free hand, lacing their fingers together. They had been doing it a lot lately, holding hands, and Iwaizumi always felt a nice warmth spreading through his body whenever they did it.
He couldn't help but notice the way Makki and Mattsun smiled at him and Oikawa: not as if they were planning the next step in their not-so-secret mission as Tooru and Hajime's cupids, but as if they had already succeeded at that and were satisfied with the result.
"Issei, remember we have to go to, uh, that place, like… now?" Hanamaki nudged his friend next to him, but did not take his eyes off Oikawa and Iwaizumi.
"Ahhh, you're right, 'Hiro. Well remembered" Mattsun gave Iwaizumi a not-so-discreet wink. They got up, dusted their pants and grabbed their backpacks.
"Where?" Oikawa asked, innocent.
"Oh, just a place. Nothing important" Issei waved him off.
"You're coming with us, Saku-chan" Hanamaki pulled his friend from the bench, making him stand up.
"I told you not to call me that, damn it" Sakusa snarled as he was pulled away.
“Don't be like that, Saku-chan ,” Mattsun crooned.
They waved to Oikawa and Iwaizumi as they walked away, under Sakusa's protests.
"They're idiots," Hajime said, smiling. Tooru laughed.
"Yeah, they’re. I love them."
Oikawa looked at him again, still smiling.
"I'll miss you, Iwa-chan."
"It's only going to be a few days, Sillykawa." Iwaizumi said, not knowing if he was comforting Oikawa or himself. Maybe both. "I'll be back before the holidays are over, we'll have a few days to spend together before school starts again."
It didn't seem like enough for Oikawa, but his pout softened.
"Oh! I almost forgot" Oikawa jumped up, almost hitting Iwaizumi on the head.
He rummaged through his backpack until he pulled out a package wrapped in a pretty gift paper and handed it to Iwaizumi.
"Since you won't be here for Christmas, I'm going to give you your gift now."
"What? Is it for me?" Hajime looked at the package the boy had shoved into his hands. Tooru nodded. "But I didn't… I didn't buy you anything" Iwaizumi felt like a big idiot.
"No problem." Oikawa waved his hand in an indifferent gesture. "I like to give gifts to people I like."
People I like , Hajime repeated in his mind, feeling his face heat up.
"But if you want, you can draw me someday, uhn?" Oikawa was smiling, but as soon as he said that, he frowned. "I mean, I'll pay for it, of course."
"I've already kinda…" Hajime cleared his throat.
He hadn't thought of showing his sketch to Oikawa because he thought it would be kind of embarrassing to admit that he had sketched him, but at that moment Iwaizumi just wanted to make Oikawa feel special too. So he took out his sketchbook, leafed through it until he found the one he wanted, and, after pondering for a moment, ripped out the sheet.
"It's not perfect, sorry… I drew it from memory" he knew that it was actually perfect because he had already memorized Tooru's face by then, but he needed to say something, so he said the first thing that came to his mind.
Hajime handed the sheet to Tooru, and although he wanted a hole to open up in the ground and swallow him, he wanted even more to see the other boy's expression.
"Wow!" Oikawa's jaw dropped open and Iwaizumi chuckled at the perfect, cute "o" his mouth formed.
Oikawa stared at the drawing for long, silent seconds, then ran his fingertips over it, so gently it was as if he was touching a delicate flower. He touched the sakura petal lips that were stretched out in a smile, the Orion's Belt over his nose, the cinnamon-colored hair, and the eyes that looked like melted chocolate.
"Have I... always been this pretty?" Oikawa murmured, his eyes still on the drawing. Iwaizumi laughed.
"No, stupid, you're much prettier than that" Iwaizumi didn't think he would ever be able to do justice to that boy's beauty, no matter how much experience he gained or how many years he studied art.
Oikawa looked at him in surprise, a pretty shade of pink covering his cheeks. He stared at the drawing again, holding it as if it were something precious.
"I… this is perfect, Iwa-chan, how can you say otherwise?" he bit his lip and glanced up at Iwaizumi. "Can I keep this?" Iwaizumi nodded.
"Of course you can" his sketchbook had dozens of other sketches of Oikawa, anyway, not that he was going to show them to the boy, it had been embarrassing enough to show that one.
Oikawa put the drawing carefully in his backpack and smiled at Iwaizumi, still blushing.
"Open your present."
"Oh yeah. Sure" he'd gotten so distracted by Oikawa that he'd forgotten about his present.
Iwaizumi carefully unwrapped the package and a silky black fabric slipped through his hands. He picked it up carefully, stretching it out between his hands.
"Is that a scarf?" he asked, staring at the fabric that was as silky as Tooru's hair.
Oikawa nodded, smiling.
"I notice you haven't bought one yet."
The scarf was a deep black as pitch and Iwaizumi had a feeling it would swallow his hands any second now. But what made him gape at the scarf were the countless silver dots scattered throughout the fabric, as if they were…
"Are these stars?" Oikawa nodded again, grinning from ear to ear.
The scarf looked like a starry night and he couldn't remember ever getting something so beautiful.
Oikawa took the scarf from Iwaizumi's hands gently and began to wrap it around his neck. The fabric was soft against his skin and the feeling was the same as when Hajime ran his fingers through Tooru's hair.
"I saw it in the store inside the Planetarium when we went that day, so I went back there the other day and bought it. I thought of you when I saw it. Hope it can bring you some comfort when you feel homesick" Tooru said, smiling fondly.
Iwaizumi felt his eyes getting wet and swallowed hard. He threw his arms around the boy, hugging him tightly. Oikawa let out a low groan as Iwaizumi squeezed him, but soon returned the hug.
"I loved it. Thank you, Oikawa. I loved it."
Oikawa chuckled and pressed his face to his shoulder.
"I'm so glad you liked it."
The boys held each other for much longer than would be considered acceptable, but they didn't want to let go of each other.
Iwaizumi was the first one to back away after a long moment, but kept his arms around Oikawa.
"It looks so good on you" Tooru muttered, tugging at the ends of the scarf. Iwaizumi smiled, they were so close to each other that their noses were almost touching.
Oikawa placed his cool hands on Iwaizumi's cheeks, his long fingers tangling in his hair.
"Are you going to think about me while you're away?"
Iwaizumi snorted. As if he didn't think about Oikawa all the goddamn time.
Just every time I breathe , he thought, but he smirked and replied:
"I'm finally getting a break from you, the last thing I want to think about is you" Iwaizumi said in a light tone, making sure Oikawa would know he was just joking.
Oikawa made an exaggeratedly dramatic pout.
"Iwa-chan is so meeean" he whimpered and buried his face in Iwaizumi's scarf.
Iwaizumi held that boy, keeping in his memory the feeling of having him in his arms for when he was too far away to be able to hug him.
***
Oikawa tried to ignore the doorbell ringing and go back to sleep, as it was still early morning, and it was the first day of winter break. He covered his head with a pillow and curled up under the covers, but the shrill ringing of the bell seemed to enter his brain.
His mother probably wasn't home. And it must be her ringing the doorbell because she'd forgotten her house keys. Again.
He tossed the covers aside and got up. He didn't bother brushing his teeth or combing his hair, as he would go back to bed after opening the door for her. Tooru stomped through the apartment to the front door.
If Tooru had known that whoever would be on the other side of the door wasn't his mother, but Hajime, he would have at least brushed his teeth, combed his hair, and changed his old Studio Ghibli pajamas into something decent.
Iwaizumi was standing in the hallway outside, his hair covered in snow and his face flushed from the cold. He opened his mouth to say something, probably say hello, and Oikawa slammed the door in his face.
Oh my God. Oh my God. Tooru thought, in utter despair. What the hell was Hajime doing there? Wasn't he going to travel with his parents? By the way, was it really Hajime? Tooru didn't feel fully awake, so maybe it was some hallucination.
He opened the door just a crack. Iwaizumi was still standing on the other side. Oikawa shut the door again, his panic growing.
Oikawa looked down at his pajamas that were so old that there were a lot of holes and had gotten too short at the ankles and wrists, but he loved those pajamas and refused to get rid of them, and at his Pokemon socks. He touched his hair, confirming that yes, it was sticking out all over the place, but not in a cute way like Hajime's. He cupped his hands in front of his mouth and blew to check how bad his breath was and damn , he couldn't see Hajime like that. Or rather, Hajime couldn't see him like that.
The bell rang again. Oikawa covered his mouth with one hand and opened the door for the third time. From the look on Iwaizumi's face, he must already be running out of patience. Iwaizumi tried to speak again, but Oikawa held up his other hand and showed him a finger.
"Just a minute. Be right back!" Oikawa slammed the door in Iwaizumi's face again and ran to his bedroom.
He stopped at his bedroom door, pondering what to do first. The doorbell rang through the apartment again and Tooru gave a little squeal and ran to the bathroom. Brushing his teeth was definitely the priority. When he finished, the doorbell rang again. Tooru tried to straighten his hair with his hands, which only made it worse and left the bathroom.
Iwaizumi would surely break into the apartment before Oikawa managed to change his clothes, so he had no choice but to welcome Iwaizumi wearing his silly pajamas.
When Oikawa opened the door again, Iwaizumi was leaning against the doorframe, grumpy.
"Is the princess ready or do you need another half hour?
"Actually, five more minutes would be enough…"
"Oikawa" he cut in and Oikawa pouted.
"Alright, alright. Get in."
Iwaizumi smiled and followed him inside.
It wasn't Iwaizumi's first time at his house, he had already gone there a few times with the other boys to do schoolwork together. But it was the first time the two of them would be there alone.
"I could take a picture of you right now and show it to your fans…"
" Don't you dare , Iwaizumi Hajime" Iwaizumi laughed and messed up Oikawa's hair even more with one hand, making him whimper. "What are you doing so early here anyway?" he asked sullenly, but then a thought occurred to him and Oikawa straightened up. "You're not traveling anymore?"
"Yeah, we're leaving in an hour. And it's not early. It's past ten o'clock."
"Any time before noon during winter break is considered early, didn't you know?"
Iwaizumi rolled his eyes, but laughed. Oikawa took him to the living room and they sat on the sofa, facing each other.
"I like your pajamas," he commented, "But I don't think they've fit you since you were about eight."
"Oh shut up! It's comfy, okay?"
"Relax, Oikawa" Iwaizumi reached out to tuck a lock of Tooru's hair behind his ear. "You're cute when you're sulking" he said quietly, as if his words hadn't brought Tooru to the brink of a breakdown.
That boy had no right to say that Oikawa was cute when in fact he was in that pitiful state. Oikawa covered his face with his hands and groaned.
“Don't say such things!” Laughing, Iwaizumi pulled his hands away to uncover his face.
They had a little fight on the couch that ended with Iwaizumi on top of Oikawa, trapping his arms with one hand and tickling him with the other. Oikawa laughed and kicked, twisting his body to try to free himself from Iwaizumi's strong grip.
"I surrender! I surrender!" he shouted breathlessly, still laughing. Iwaizumi smiled victoriously and released him.
"Weak" Iwaizumi muttered and flicked him on the nose. Oikawa pouted.
"You're a gorilla."
Iwaizumi sat back down, pulling Oikawa with him. He was wearing the scarf Oikawa had given him the day before and Oikawa hadn't noticed it before, but the scarf seemed to make his eyes even greener. Oikawa noticed he was holding a sketchbook and for a brief, insane moment, he thought that maybe Iwaizumi had come to sketch him again.
"I came to give you this" Before Oikawa could have any more rash ideas, Iwaizumi spoke and handed him the sketchbook.
Iwaizumi had lost his playful manner and now looked serious. Still not quite understanding, Oikawa took the sketchbook.
"It's all the drawings and sketches I've done since you… made me realize a few things."
"I don't get it, Iwa-chan."
Iwaizumi seemed to want to say something, but was struggling internally to find the courage or the right words. Oikawa extended a hand to him and the boy immediately took it.
"When I first moved here," Iwaizumi began, still a little uncertain. "All I wanted was to go back home. I slept and woke up everyday thinking about how much I hated this place. I was always angry at everything and closed myself off from any possibility of anything good happening because I couldn't believe this city had something good for me. It was as if I had a dark, heavy cloud over me all the time. Even my creative process was affected."
Iwaizumi, who until that moment had been staring at their joined hands, looked up at Oikawa, and Oikawa was surprised to see guilt in his eyes.
"When we first met I was having a bad day and I ended up taking it out on you just because you showed up and because I thought you were just an idiot, even though I didn't know you" Iwaizumi swallowed and squeezed Oikawa's hand. "But the idiot was me. I was an asshole to you that day, Oikawa, without you having done anything to deserve it. And I never apologized for that."
"No, Iwa-chan. You don't have to…"
"I do," Iwaizumi interrupted. "Because when I didn't believe there was something good for me here, you showed me that there is, and many good things… and you were the best of them. You sent the cloud away."
Hajime smiled shyly as he saw the scarlet hue tinting Tooru's cheeks.
"So… I'm sorry, Oikawa, for having treated you like that. I'm sorry ."
"Iwa-chan, you silly…" he murmured fondly.
Oikawa dropped the sketchbook on his lap and reached out, pulling Iwaizumi towards him. The boy leaned against him and buried his face in the crook of his neck. Oikawa put his hand on his hair and caressed it.
"You smell like you just woke up. It's good." Hajime muttered.
"Yeah, well, you just woke me up" Tooru felt the curve of his smile on his skin.
"Sorry. I thought nerds got up early to study."
"Even us nerds like to sleep in sometimes."
Hajime stayed there a little longer, snuggled up against Tooru, breathing in his scent, Tooru's fingers gently sliding through his hair. He pulled away and looked much more relaxed.
"Are you really going to give me this?" Oikawa held up the sketchbook. "It's your drawings."
Iwaizumi blushed and shrugged.
"You asked me the other day why I only drew depressing things, but I wasn't like that. It's thanks to you that I was able to go back to being the artist I used to be."
Oikawa ran his hand over the cover of the sketchbook, the other hand still holding Iwaizumi's. He was dying to open it and see what Iwaizumi had there for him, but he felt he should open it when he was alone.
Oikawa thought back to that night he had first met Iwaizumi, it had also been the first time he had seen one of his arts. He remembered how that painting had made him feel so many things, how, even before he knew Iwaizumi, Oikawa had already fallen in love with his art. And then he had fallen in love with Iwaizumi himself.
Oh , Oikawa thought. He still hadn't come up with a name for what he felt for Iwaizumi. He knew what it was, but he hadn't put a label on it yet. Oikawa covered his mouth with a hand to try to hide his silly smile, but he knew he couldn't hide the sparkle in his eyes or the blush rising up his neck and spreading across his face.
He raised his eyes to Hajime who was staring at him intensely and seemed to be much closer than before.
"What is it?" Oikawa asked, laughing, unable to contain the bubble of happiness that was growing inside him. He felt like the bubble was going to burst at any moment and he'd be floating around the apartment.
"What was what?" Iwaizumi grinned, leaning closer. Oikawa bit his lip, still smiling.
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
"And how could I not look at you? You're gorgeous."
Oikawa was used to people saying that to please him, but Iwaizumi said it as if he was just stating a fact. He didn't say that because he thought it was what Oikawa wanted to hear, but because it was something right, real. Just as the sun rises and sets every day and just as he was absolutely in love with that boy, Oikawa was gorgeous.
Iwaizumi put a hand on the side of his neck, and when he looked at his lips and tilted his head just a little bit, Oikawa understood what he was going to do and panicked.
Oh my God.
Iwaizumi was about to kiss him and Oikawa was freaking out. He'd brushed his teeth in a hurry, what if his breath was still smelling bad? Iwaizumi would find it disgusting and would never want to talk to him again. Hajime was handsome and smelled good, and Tooru was disheveled, wearing those ridiculous pajamas and probably had a morning breath.
Their first kiss couldn't be like that, but it was too late to stop it… what if he pretended to pass out?
The front door burst open and Iwaizumi backed away from him as if he'd been electrocuted.
"Tooru!" his mother shouted from the door. "I hope you've got that lazy ass out of bed by now! Come help me with lunch."
Tooru's mother appeared in the living room door, carrying several grocery bags. Her eyes — the same color as Tooru's — landed on Hajime, then on her son, and then on their hands still entwined. The boys let go of their hands at once.
"Ah…" she said smiling, clearly taken aback by the scene. "I didn't know we'd have a visitor today, Tooru."
Oikawa watched Iwaizumi who looked like a deer caught in the headlights, still staring at his mother. The other times Iwaizumi had been there, Tooru's mother wasn't home, so it was the first time they'd seen each other. Oikawa never thought he would thank his mother for interrupting his almost first kiss with Iwaizumi.
Iwaizumi stood up and bowed to Tooru's mother.
"Iwaizumi Hajime. N-Nice to meet you, O-Oikawa-san. I apologize for coming unannounced, I-I needed to talk w-with Oikawa."
Oikawa found it cute how Iwaizumi seemed so nervous about meeting his mother.
"So you're the Iwa-chan Tooru talks about all the time?"
"Mom!" Oikawa exclaimed, outraged.
"It's 'Iwa-chan this, Iwa-chan that' all day long" she huffed in amusement, ignoring her son.
"Mom!" Tooru whimpered, feeling his face heat up.
She ignored him again and reached for some bags for Iwaizumi who took them automatically.
"Are you staying for lunch with us, Iwa-chan?" she asked and, without waiting for an answer, left the living room and headed towards the kitchen.
Hajime looked over his shoulder at Tooru, a little mortified, and followed the older Oikawa.
"Hm… Thank you, Oikawa-san, but I was actually leaving," Iwaizumi replied. "I'm going to travel with my parents soon."
"Only I can call him that, Mom!" Oikawa stomped after them, hugging Iwaizumi's sketchbook to his chest.
"Who said that?" she turned towards them. Iwaizumi dropped the bags on the kitchen table and Oikawa stopped beside him, pouting. "What a pity, Iwa-chan," Tooru huffed loudly and stomped one foot on the floor. She smiled at Iwaizumi. "You're welcome here whenever you want to come back."
They said goodbye and Oikawa accompanied Iwaizumi to the door.
"You look so much like her" Iwaizumi said.
"Lucky for me that you're gay" Oikawa grumbled under his breath, thinking about how some of his friends had a crush on his mother.
"What?"
"N-Nothing!" Oikawa opened the door for him and stood under the door frame as Iwaizumi stepped out into the hallway.
Oikawa couldn't stop thinking about how close they'd come to kissing, and if the crimson hue on Iwaizumi's face and the way he averted his gaze was any indication, he was thinking the same thing.
The two looked at each other for a second, smiled sheepishly and looked away again, giggling.
"So…" Iwaizumi muttered looking down at his feet. "I gotta go…"
"Ah… ok…" that boy hadn't even left yet and Oikawa was already missing him.
Oikawa was happy for Iwaizumi to spend time with his friends and grandparents he missed so much, he knew Iwaizumi needed it. But a small part of him feared that Iwaizumi wouldn't come back, that his parents would let him stay there living with his grandparents.
"See you in a few days" Iwaizumi said and pulled Oikawa by the front of his pajamas and gave him a peck on the lips.
It hadn't really been a kiss, Hajime’s lips had barely brushed his, but it had been enough to finally burst Tooru's bubble. Before he had a chance to react, Iwaizumi had turned his back on him and left.
Oikawa walked into the apartment again, leaned against the closed door and touched his lips with his fingertips, smiling silly. He'd completely forgotten his paranoia about Iwaizumi not coming back.
Oikawa looked at the sketchbook in his hand and ran to his bedroom.
"Tooru?!" his mother called him from the kitchen.
"Be right back!" he yelled back, closed the bedroom door behind him, and threw himself face down on the bed.
He opened the sketchbook and started looking at the sketches. There were so many!
There was a sketch of an elderly couple dancing in a kitchen. A man holding an umbrella and jumping into puddles of water with a little girl. Several sketches of cute animals they'd seen at the Ueno Zoo. There was even a short comic featuring a giant panda and Godzilla fighting, which ended with Godzilla defeating the invading panda and sending it back into space. Two boys running hand in hand through the snow. Two boys sitting side by side, also holding hands, watching a starry sky.
And, in the midst of all this, there were several sketches of Tooru, in different poses and expressions. There were sketches of him smiling, in others he was serious or pouting, some wearing glasses and some not. Some looked so elaborate that Oikawa even thought they were photos, like one that showed him sitting at the library table with his glasses on the tip of his nose and a book in his hands.
Tooru lingered over one in which he appeared to be made of stars, comets and planets.
It was as if Hajime wanted to capture Tooru's every angle and feature, and seeing all those sketches was like seeing himself through Hajime's eyes.
Tooru thought of the feelings Hajime's paintings had evoked in him, the anguish and also empathy he had felt. Now, looking at all those sketches that Iwaizumi had done of him, Oikawa felt loved.
The last sketch showed two boys kissing under a cherry blossom tree, the pink petals falling on and around them. He ran his fingers over the page gently, imagining Hajime drawing it. Had he smiled and blushed while sketching it, like Oikawa at the moment? Had he thought about kissing Tooru while he was sketching that?
Oikawa knew that the best way Iwaizumi knew how to express himself was through art. It didn't matter if he was happy or sad, angry or calm, excited or tired, he always used a canvas and a paintbrush or a sketchbook to express his feelings. Oikawa had already gotten used to seeing the boy with his fingers always smeared with ink, doodling something in a sketchbook.
Just as art was a part of Hajime's life, he had left a little piece of his heart in every drawing he gave Tooru, each one a declaration of love. A clear message of his feelings for Tooru.
Oikawa rolled onto his back and hugged the notebook to his chest, his face flushed, smiling. His heart ached, but it was a good kind of pain. The best of all.
It ached for the boy who had given his own heart to him.
***
When Iwaizumi thought about finally returning home after months of homesickness, he would imagine waking up almost noon, with the smell of his grandmother's lunch wafting through the house, setting up his old telescope in the backyard with his grandfather, spending afternoons with Daichi, Suga and Asahi.
In a way, he'd done all of that in the nearly two weeks he'd spent at his grandparents' house, but as happy as he was, he had the constant feeling that something was missing… or rather, someone.
During the time they were away from each other, Hajime and Tooru had texted frequently. Anything cute or funny Iwaizumi saw, he'd take a picture and send it to Oikawa, and get an immediate response, as if the other boy was always waiting for it.
Every night, they would video call before bed and it was Hajime's favorite moment, when they were both alone, each in their own room, having only each other's voices for company. Hajime loved looking at Tooru's face crumpled against the pillow and listening to his sleepy voice. He loved looking at his face as he fell asleep during the video call, wearing those ridiculously cute pajamas, and that ridiculously beautiful mouth slightly open, snoring softly. Iwaizumi always ended the call with a warmth in his heart and a stupid smile on his face, and dreamed of kisses and a boy with warm brown eyes.
Whenever his grandmother sent him to do groceries, he imagined taking those small trips with Oikawa by his side, holding his hand, stealing a kiss when no one was looking.
Iwaizumi had never imagined that he would miss Oikawa so much that he would be looking forward to going back to Tokyo more than to his hometown, that he would count the days to go back to that boy.
The first thing Iwaizumi did when he got back from his trip was text Oikawa asking if they could meet and, as usual, he got an answer right away.
While waiting for him on a bench in a park where they had arranged to meet, Iwaizumi was doodling in his sketchbook. For the past few days, all he had been sketching was Oikawa, and his friends had made fun of him for his sketchbooks full of the same pretty boy. But he couldn't help himself, it was his way of feeling closer to Tooru.
"Iwa-chan!"
Iwaizumi looked up from the Tooru in the paper to the real Tooru, standing a few feet away, his cheeks and the tip of his nose redden from the cold, wearing a blue scarf and pink gloves, cinnamon hair tucked under a wool cap, with the orange sunset behind him. Iwaizumi smiled at him.
If someone asked Hajime what the color of love was, he would answer that it was all the colors that made up Oikawa Tooru
He didn't know how he had ever thought that city was gray and dull if that was the only one in which Oikawa Tooru lived. And Iwaizumi had been lucky enough to end up in that city and, in the midst of millions of people, to have found that boy.
Oikawa looked so beautiful it was painful to look at him, but Hajime couldn't tear his gaze away.
"Hi," he muttered, still a little stunned.
Oikawa smiled back at him and sat down beside him, their knees touching.
"Hi" Oikawa said laughing and Iwaizumi laughed too.
They were silent, smiling at each other the way only two boys ridiculously in love with each other could smile.
Iwaizumi had finally returned to Oikawa and now didn't know what to do. But it was okay, just being close to Oikawa was good enough.
"So…" Tooru muttered, biting his lip. "How was the trip?"
"Oh, it was good… it was great… Sorry to ask to meet you at this hour, I should've waited until tomorrow."
"No!" Oikawa shook his head vehemently. "It's okay. I… I wanted to see you too." he bit his lip and looked away.
Iwaizumi looked at his mouth for a second longer than he should have, remembering the good feeling of his lips brushing his, wondering if Oikawa had liked it too, if he wanted more too.
Both reached out their hands at the same time and intertwined their fingers, smiling shyly at each other. Oikawa laid his face on Iwaizumi's shoulder and sighed happily. Iwaizumi used his other arm to pull him closer and hug him.
"I missed you so much," Hajime muttered. "So much I don't know if I could’ve waited until tomorrow to see you."
Oikawa let out a contented murmur and snuggled closer to him.
"I missed you too," he whispered back, face buried in Iwaizumi's scarf. "I was glad you asked to meet me. If you hadn't done it, I would've."
Iwaizumi chuckled, hugging him tighter.
"Hey, Oikawa."
"Hmm?"
"We've been hanging out a lot, but I want… I want to go out with you o-on a d-date… a real d-date, you know…" damn, he was so bad at that sort of thing.
Oikawa shifted under his arm until he could look Iwaizumi in the eye.
"You mean… hang out a-as… m-more than friends?" Iwaizumi nodded, feeling his face burn. Oikawa's eyes were wide, surprised.
"Yeah. I'm tired of being just your friend. I mean… not that being just your friend is bad, I just…" Iwaizumi swallowed hard. "What I feel for you isn't just a friend thing, you know…" God, he was so bad at it. Oikawa certainly should have received much better confessions than that. "I mean, if you want to go out on a date with me, of course! If you don't, that's fine! We can just keep being friends..."
"Iwa-chan!" Oikawa cut him off, laughing. "Of course I want to go out on a date with you!"
"Ah…" Iwaizumi exclaimed, relieved, unable to contain his silly smile. "T-That's good..."
Iwaizumi brought a hand to his face and cupped that soft, rosy cheek.
"Hey, Oikawa," he muttered, seeing those long thick eyelashes touching the tops of his cheekbones when Tooru blinked slowly. He closed his eyes and nuzzled his cheek in the palm of his hand.
"Hmm?"
"I want to kiss you so badly" Hajime spoke softly, caressing his cheek. Oikawa's eyes snapped open again. "I can't stop thinking about it since that day. Can I kiss you, Tooru?"
Oikawa sighed, seeming to melt in his arms. He licked his lips and nodded eagerly. Iwaizumi smiled and then pressed his lips to Oikawa's… and was pushed away soon after.
"Wait, wait" Oikawa grumbled and took off his glasses "I hate this thing."
"I love it. Makes you look so cute."
"Okay, I take that back. I love my glasses."
Iwaizumi chuckled and kissed him again.
And he put into that kiss all the longing he felt for Tooru in the last few days, all the certainty of his feelings for him. They kissed as if they were two strangers who had just met, like two lovers whose lips had been touching for an eternity.
If someone asked Hajime what love tasted like, he would say it was the same taste as Oikawa Tooru's lips. If asked what love smelled like, the answer would be the same smell as Tooru.
And if Hajime was asked how he knew all this, he would say it was because he was deeply, deeply in love with that boy.
They pulled apart and Iwaizumi wanted to grab his sketchbook and pencil to sketch Oikawa's beaming expression, but he could do that later. At the moment he had more pressing matters, like kissing that boy.
When night fell, they were still on the same bench, their arms around each other, kissing, laughing, talking.
Oikawa glanced at a point in the sky behind Iwaizumi and gasped.
"Iwa-chan! A shooting star!" he said smiling. "We have to make a wish!" Oikawa closed his eyes, seeming to concentrate on whatever he was wishing for.
Iwaizumi just stared at him, awestruck, in love. It didn't matter if a thousand shooting stars crossed in front of Hajime now, he already had everything he could wish for, right there in his arms.
Epilogue
Iwa-chan is right , Oikawa thought. That place was magical.
The fresh grass tickled his calves whenever he moved, the cool night breeze tingled his exposed arms, the smells of the garden and the small vegetable garden that Hajime's grandparents tended filled the yard. The trees around them rustled in the breeze and seemed to whisper a song. Above them shone a starry sky that was far more beautiful than any planetarium Tooru had ever visited.
But what was really magical were Iwaizumi's hands on his hair and waist, his warm body pressed against his, and his mouth on Oikawa's. This must be magic.
Sometimes Tooru was scared by how easily he lost himself in those sensations, in Hajime. In how Hajime managed to take him out of orbit with a kiss and anchor him back in with a hug.
It was frightening and wonderful, this first love thing.
Iwaizumi had fulfilled his promise to take Oikawa to his favorite place, and it would most likely become Oikawa's favorite place as well.
He could hardly believe it when his mother let him spend the summer break with Iwaizumi and his family in Miyagi.
Hajime's grandparents were dying to meet their favorite grandson's boyfriend, and they loved Tooru as soon as they laid eyes on him. Oikawa had never been so spoiled before.
He had also been spending a lot of time with Iwaizumi's friends, who were now his friends as well.
Tooru wasn't even gone yet, but he already knew that he would miss that place, those people. He understood now more than ever why Hajime didn't want to leave.
"Boys," they quickly pulled away from each other when they heard Hajime's mother approach.
It never ceased to be embarrassing to be caught by their parents in the middle of a make out session.
They looked at her from where they were sitting on the grass. Both with their faces on fire.
“It's late. Time to go to bed."
"Mom" Iwaizumi whined and Oikawa always found cute when he did that. "It's not that late, and we don't have class tomorrow so we don't need to wake up early."
She narrowed her eyes at her son the way Hajime did at Tooru when he was about to scold him.
"Just another half hour, Iwaizumi-san, please?" Oikawa interjected, his voice honeyed. "We'll be in in a half-hour, I promise!"
Oikawa had been wary of being introduced to Hajime's parents when they started dating, because of his mother's reaction to finding out that Hajime was gay.
But she had taken a liking to Tooru as soon as they met and, contrary to everything the boys feared, she had accepted their relationship and treated Tooru like a son. And, little by little, her and Hajime's relationship had returned to what it was before.
She huffed, but her gaze had softened.
"Half an hour," she warned. "Or I swear I'll drag you both inside by the ears" Oikawa chuckled. It was clear who Hajime had inherited his personality from.
She bent down and hugged her son. He grumbled as she kissed him on the forehead, trying to dodge her. Tooru smiled, realizing how happy Hajime was about that. She also ruffled Tooru's hair affectionately and kissed the top of his head before heading back inside.
"Your mom loves me, Iwa-chan" he crooned.
Iwaizumi huffed and rolled his eyes.
"Of course she does. There's no way not to love you" Iwaizumi spoke and pulled him close again.
Oikawa blushed and buried his face in his chest, smiling. They lay on the grass, hugging one another.
Oikawa had always considered himself a lucky boy. He had an amazing mom, the dumbest, nicest friends anyone could ever have, and great grades in school. And now he had a wonderful boyfriend, too, and a second family.
It was as if he and Hajime didn't have to struggle to fit into each other's lives, as if that space they now occupied had always been there, waiting to be filled.
"I love you" Iwaizumi murmured with his face buried in his fluffy hair.
Oikawa raised his head and kissed Iwaizumi. They both smiled with their mouths pressed together.
"Love you too" Oikawa whispered back, feeling like the luckiest boy in the world, living the best summer of his life.