Work Text:
I walked out into the woods and out to the old house. Sitting on the porch, I saw Luz, knees pulled into her chest, and sobbing. When I saw Amity coming into the house crying, I figured something was up but didn’t actually believe they had a fight. As I took a few more steps forward, I stepped on a stick that snapped under my foot, making Luz’s head shoot up.
“Uh, hey.” I said with an awkward wave, “Can I…sit with you?”
Luz looked down at the ground, considering, before deciding to move to the side slightly. I recognized that as a yes and sat next to her. For a few moments, we just sat there in silence, Luz trying to not look at me and me not knowing how to deal with a situation like this.
Gus and Willow were handling Amity, and I was in charge of finding Luz. However, 16 years in the Emperor’s coven failed to teach me how to comfort friends after a big argument.
“I’m guessing you came to check on me after seeing Amity?” Luz asked with a dry throat from crying, breaking the silence.
“Yeah. I never thought you two would actually get into a fight.”
“Well, she’s accepted we’re stuck here and I’m still trying to get back to the Isles. It makes sense it’d come up eventually. Have you talked to her?”
With how genuinely concerned she sounded, I assumed the argument didn’t end up in a breakup, which I was very glad for.
There’s no way a breakup with no way between realms would end in anything but a trainwreck.
“No, I haven’t. Gus and Willow are. I was tasked with finding you.”
“Well, you found me. Mission success.” Luz scoffed, “Why don’t you help with Amity?
It was genuinely concerning to hear Luz talk like this. I’d seen Luz upset, sure, but nothing like this.
“I can tell that you have something on your mind. Look, Luz, repression isn’t great. It can be really bad for your mental health. Take that and combine it with the stress and anxiety you’ve been having, it’s a recipe for disaster. So, I’m going to sit here until you talk to me. Even if it takes all night.”
“When did you learn so much about mental health?”
“Since Ms. Noceda started having me go to therapy. You should consider it too, honestly, but that’s besides the point. Whenever you’re ready to talk, I’ll be right here.”
I stared up at the sky as dusk began to set in, the sky turning pink as the sun set over the horizon. Faintly, the first few bright stars began to poke through and shimmer. The minutes passed and, as promised, I stayed with Luz. Time continued to pass and Luz finally moved, letting her legs stretch out and also looking up to the gradually dimming sky. She still couldn’t bring herself to look at me, but just staring at the sky seemed to bring her some comfort.
“You’re right. There is something on my mind.” Luz finally said.
I didn’t respond or turn to look at her. I just nodded and made a small sound of acknowledgment and agreement.
“Sometimes I wonder what the Isles would be like if I never went. If, at least from the perspective of all of you, I didn’t exist.”
I sat up straighter and turned to face Luz, who still was just looking at the sky.
“I have ruined so much, hurt so many people. Eda, King, Lilith, Amity, the CATs, hell even you have suffered because I decided to not go home after helping Eda and King all those months ago.”
I saw a small tear begin to well up in the corner of Luz’s eye, but she quickly brushed it away.
“If I just never went through the portal in the first place, if I went through with throwing away my Azura book instead of chasing after Owlbert, if I hadn’t brought snakes into school! If I had just made one change that day none of this would have happened. You guys wouldn’t be here now.”
Luz’s gaze finally moved from the sky back to the ground as a few more tears began to well up.
“If I just didn’t exist, none of this would have happened.”
I thought for a moment, turning back to the sky.
“Yeah. You’re right.” I shrugged.
“Wait, what? You’re not going to tell me I’m wrong?” Luz asked, finally turning to face me, confused.
“Why would I? You’re 100 percent correct. None of this would have happened if you never existed.”
“So you agree that all this bad stuff happening is my fault and you all would be better off if I didn’t exist?”
“Nope.”
Luz was just getting even more confused.
“Well which is it? Is all of this my fault or not?”
“It is your fault, but we wouldn’t be better off without you.”
“Explain please.”
“Okay, let’s play a little game. “What would happen if Luz wasn’t there”, okay?”
“Sure.”
“Let’s start with…Eda. What do you think would be happening with Eda if you didn’t exist?”
“Well she’d probably be having the time of her life in the Owl House, living with King, and having all of her magic.”
“I disagree. Thanks to you, she opened her heart to others, used her magic in a way that helped people, made amends with her sister, learned how to use glyphs, and is able to be alive. If it hadn’t been for you, Eda would be stuck as the Owl Beast, petrified, or, if one of those didn’t happen, she would have died with Raine when they tried to take down Darius and Eberwolf.”
“Okay but that’s one person. And besides, you’re cherry-picking examples.”
“You’re right, but only because you’re focusing on the bad, without acknowledging the good. How about you pick someone and tell me how you ruined their life.”
“Fine. Let’s go with Amity! She was perfectly fine before I came along. She was a skilled abomination magic user, top of her class, lots of friends, had a good relationship with her parents…she had it all!”
“Counterpoint, she was only loved in a transactional way, was emotionally manipulated by her mom, hated her siblings, and felt like if she wasn’t the best, she was the worse. She also dreamed of joining the Emperor’s coven which we both know is a bad idea. And can you seriously say that you being there made her not incredible at magic? She’s 14 and can take down some of the most skilled witches. I heard about the Bonesborough brawl, and she is definitely doing great magic wise. You have improved her mental health so much. Heck, when I first met her back at Eclipse Lake, the girl I saw was not the one I was expecting a Blight to be.”
“Okay, fine, but that still isn’t enough proof!”
“You helped King learn about his past and what he is, you inspired a group of misfits to riot on your first day here, you helped Willow get to the confidence level she’s at, you repaired her and Amity’s friendship, and you gave Vee a safe place to live,” I ranted, my voice starting to slowly morphing into yelling, “Luz, you fought Belos twice! You’ve gone toe-to-toe with one of the most powerful people and came out alive. You found a forgotten way to use magic that helped Lilith and Eda continue to be powerful even after the curse took away their natural magic. Luz, when will you see that you’ve helped so many people? Because you have. You have improved so many people! You are the reason I’m not dead and rotting in the skull!”
“But at what cost!” She screamed, crying again.
I was shocked. I’ve never seen her this mad or upset. How long has she been holding this anger in?
“I…I’m the reason we’re stuck in the human realm. There are so many people back in the isles who could be dead right now. All thanks to me. I’m the reason Belos has the portal, I taught him how to use the only type of glyph he didn’t know, and it was my arrival that got him to care so much about capturing Eda.”
“Oh get a grip.” I scoffed.
She looked at me, very confused on how I could have that reaction to what she was saying.
“Look, everyone has been too nice to tell you, so I will. Belos is a crazy person! The day of unity is not all your fault. It would have happened regardless. People would still die even if you had never gone. Belos would have gotten the portal eventually and likely would have gotten it sooner if you hadn’t been there to blow it up. If it hadn’t been for you, King would have no reason to be at the head, wouldn’t have freed The Collector, and everyone on the isles would be dead.
“Without you being able to help Willow see how strong she is we wouldn’t have been able to drive out the Emperor’s Coven from Hexside and everyone would have a sigil. There would be no multitrack students so even if a few people tried to fight, they wouldn’t have nearly enough strength. You aren’t to blame for Belos being a genocidal maniac and you saved so many lives. You existing is an amazing thing. So just get over yourself and deal with the fact that you’re a good person and you improve the lives of every witch you come across.”
I got up and started to walk away, but was stopped by Luz grabbing my sleeve. I looked back at her. She was smiling and wiped a tear away.
“Thanks Hunter. I-I needed that.”
“Well, you can always rely on me to give it to you straight when you’re too far in your thoughts.” I shrugged with a chuckle, “You think you’re okay to go back home?”
“Do you think Amity won’t be mad at me?”
“Luz, that girl will be mad that it took you this long to realize what I’m telling you. Just apologize and explain everything and you two can go back to being infuriatingly wholesome.”
Luz and I both laughed. We walked back to Ms. Noceda’s house and the moment Luz walked in, Amity practically tackled her with a hug, crying apologizes for yelling. Luz explained things and apologized for her actions, and things were all good again.
I was very glad we were back to the status quo.
Things were going to be okay here just as long as we stick together. And with no way back, we’re definitely going to be together for a long time.