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Shu stood over the body of his lover, her skin charred black around her face and shoulders, completely immobilized from the pain. It was painful to look at the girl he once could say he loves. And even though the memories from his past that he tried so hard to bury had come back to the surface, the oldest Sakamaki couldn’t bring himself to look away from the laboured breathing and small twitches of pain. Nobody else was around them, though it was obvious they had made it out of the burning building, the speed of vampires isn’t rivaled by much. But humans, humans are different. It’s common for them to die in fires because they lack the strength, the speed, and even the composure to escape. Screaming for help that wouldn’t come, running blindly even though the exit should be easy to find, and searching for someone else instead of getting out. It sounded like himself. He dropped to his knees next to her body, not wanting to touch her, to cause any more pain.
“Yui… Hey, Yui, wake up…” Shu looked for the least burnt part of her skin, her arms, where the shirt had burned away and he’d stopped the flames before more damage could be done. “Yui, you’re still breathing, you know… You’re breathing, so open your eyes!” He was quickly becoming hysterical, grabbing the girl’s arms and eliciting a strangled cry of agony. Shu let go, noticing for the first time the tears streaming from his eyes. He couldn’t tell time anymore, when his brothers arrived one by one, he didn’t notice. Nobody spoke, words seeming to make the atmosphere heavier than seemed possible.
“Reiji…” When the oldest spoke, all other sound seemed to stop. “Reiji, can’t you… Can’t you do something?” Looking up from the dying girl, Shu met his younger brother’s eyes, the latter only now noticing the hitches in his breath, the tears rolling from his blue eyes, and the true pleading on his face. To go so far as to ask the one who hates him the most for help, it became excruciatingly clear how desperate the situation had made him.
“Please, please Reiji! Can’t you do something? Anything? I’m begging you to save her damn it, fucking do something!” Hysteria took over, not waiting for an answer to his pleas. Screaming, crying, begging, pleading, anything. Anything so he wouldn’t lose someone like this again, so he wouldn’t have another chance to get close to a human. No amount of words would get through to him, no actions until a weak coughing could be heard, seeming to freeze time around them.
“Coughing… Coughing, that’s good, right Yui? That means you’re breathing, so you’ll wake up now right?” Despite her fingers being charred black, the desperate vampire grabbed the hand closest to him, lacing her her small and frail digits with his own.
“Shu..” A voice barely above a whisper, raspy and dry, called out desperately. “It hurts.. You were never good.. At being gentle, when I asked you to.” The voice was quiet, but more than enough for the man kneeling beside her. Though it sounded painful to speak, sounded as if it was only succeeding in draining the little bit of energy left in Yui’s dying body, Shu’s own pain had been eased.
“Did you save me?”
“I did.”
“Is it because I… Didn’t serve my purpose… As the sacrificial bride?” Yui’s words were unsteady, separated by coughs in a futile attempt to clear the soot and ash from her throat. Shallow, ragged breaths shook her whole body, seeming to take more and more strength as time went on.
“No.. No, I only saved you because you’re my food, remember? My prey, and you’re not allowed to leave without my permission, you know?” Through the seemingly endless stream of tears, Shu managed a smirk down at her, though it was obvious she could no longer see him. Her red eyes were dull and cloudy when they were open, and when closed were black and red, blood and burnt skin replacing the flesh he used to kiss so lovingly. A forced laugh from the oldest Sakamaki sent a smile to her face, despite the pain that came with it. His tears fell from his own face to land on hers, mixing with the red and black colours slowly deepening in her skin.
“I suppose now you’re going to apologise and ask permission, huh? can’t let you do that, you know.” As more drops rolled off the sharp chin of the vampire, her small breaths that were just barely keeping rhythm became increasingly erratic.
“Is it… day time? It’s too bright..” Speaking seemed harder than before, but it was obvious after all this time that giving up isn’t her strong point. It’s something Shu loved about her.
“Yeah, the sun is really bright. It’s annoying out here.”
Daylight wouldn’t show in the sky for another few hours.
“But it feels… like it’s raining. I can, I can feel it.. On my face..” Shu quickly tried to wipe at the tears in his blue eyes, succeeding only in wiping more ash on his already filthy face.
“Anything is possible, isn’t that what you always tell me?” Refusing to let the girl know she was dying, he held back the sobs threatening to interrupt his own words. The smell of burnt flesh, and light tendrils of smoke still rising from her blackened body didn’t make it easy in the least. How could something like this ever be easy? First Edgar, now Yui. It’s like the god the two so strongly believed in was doing this on purpose, who was he actually punishing? Him, for loving them as he did? Or them, for loving him?
“Shu…” The quiet voice between the still roaring flames brought the vampire back to what little senses he had left, still holding the charred hand of his lover in his own.
“What is it, Yui?” The usual, annoyed tone that should’ve accompanied his words was lost, replaced by fear, uncertainty, and the inevitable pain of losing a loved one.
“I have to go now so… Can I have…” Her words became increasingly weaker, taking away the little fight she had left. “Can I have, your permission… To leave?” The dry, cracked lips that had once sang, laughed,argued, and kissed were quickly dying, only opening slightly when a final, futile attempt at breathing was made. Shu laughed, a small and bitter kind of chuckle.
“I would say you’re not allowed to, but you’d do it anyway..” Sensing that the time for jokes is over, Shu gently placed a kiss on each of Yui’s blackened knuckles, fresh tears dripping out of his now closed eyelids.
“You can go Yui, you can leave… You can leave….” He put his forehead against the hand he’d just kissed, dropping lower and lower until both were resting on her chest. He knew too well that she was gone before he’d let her go, but Shu was sure she couldn’t really leave until he’d said it, she’d haunt him forever if he hadn’t. He didn’t want her to suffer anymore, for her sake and his. He would later come to recall that the last of her energy, no matter how little there was, was used to comfort her heartbroken lover.
New grief took over the oldest son’s mind. Screams echoed into the night sky when Ayato and Subaru took her body away, surely Yui’s god could hear him. He tried to hold onto her until the very last moment, having to be forcefully separated from her, held down and dragged away. But once she was gone he went numb, the same kind of numb he was sure she felt in the first months in the Sakamaki house. A house that now, he was glad he could never go back to.
Days and weeks passed by, quickly turning into months. Despite a new house, and new found normality in the household, Shu would still find himself turning to the side, one headphone in his hand, ready to give it to the girl that was no longer there. He seemed to be haunted, her voice, her scent, the gentle touch of a hand on his sleeping shoulder. Sometimes a wisp of blonde hair could be seen out of the corner of his restless eyes, but no matter how fast he turned, Shu could never see her again. He could never forgive himself, for many things. Responding slowly to her cries of help. For freezing when the sight of a burnt and bloody Yui reminded him of his past. For knowing he had to look for her, that she couldn’t get out on her own, but waiting until he could hear her. The regrets took up what seemed to be a permanent residence in the tattered mind of the eldest Sakamaki. But of all the regrets he harboured, the things he wished he hadn’t done, there was one that stood out. One that Shu was sure he’d never forgive himself for.
It was that, deep down, he enjoyed her pain, and that he was the source of it.
Alt ending: As Shu looked down at Yui’s burnt and bloody body, Reiji stood behind him and called out. “Man, that was a sick burn" He then ollied outie wearing a snapback and weed socks on a hella rad skateboard as Shu cried.