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Among the requests made by the Strawhats—a fridge with a lock, a bigger bathroom, enough space for at least 10 people—an entire area dedicated to gardening was especially unusual. Not unreasonable, or bad, or even impossible; just different. But then again, the Strawhat pirates themselves weren’t exactly your everyday bunch of people. The navigator—Nami, apparently already had a few thriving tangerine trees, and the cook and doctor, Sanji and Chopper, liked having some fresh herbs on hand.
So Franky just shrugged his shoulders, grinned, and thought up new ways to make his dream ship into the perfect home for these crazy, incredible people that he’d chosen to entrust his dream to.
Of all the people who make use of the garden that dominates the entirety of the poop deck (Luffy once called it the poop garden and was immediately thrown overboard), Luffy is undoubtedly the most unexpected.
The space isn’t necessarily crowded, but no one really expected it to be as packed as it is. There’s Nami’s trees, Robin’s flowers, Chopper’s medical herbs, and Sanji’s seasoning herbs. By the time they’re all back from their two years of training and Usopp is commandeering space for his Pop Greens, the space is almost half-full. Not even mentioning that Sanji and Chopper both bring seeds back with them. By the time Luffy ambles up the steps to join most of his crew, Franky is already eying the surrounding area and considering just converting the whole space into a proper green house.
“Hey, can you plant these too?” Luffy asks, holding up a small pouch.
Usopp looks up and blinks. “Plant what?” he asks, already holding his hand out to accept the seeds. He takes them and squints at the small-ish seeds and what looks like a dried mushroom.
“Weed and shrooms.” Luffy says.
Usopp blinks. Nami pauses in harvesting her tangerines and turns to look over her shoulder. Franky stops drawing blueprints and looks up. Chopper, also planting some seeds, blinks and tilts his head. Robin, sat in a lawn chair nearby reading a book, lifts her head up.
“What.”
Luffy crouches beside where Usopp is sat and points at the bag. “Weed.” He repeats, pointing at the seeds. “I got a couple different strains and Rayleigh says most of them are girls and only two and boys. Apparently, you only need the guys to make more and can’t actually use them.” (Unseen, Nami nods in commiseration). Then he points to the mushroom. “That’s a Laughing Mushroom.”
Usopp stares at his captain. His brave, stupid, ridiculous captain who just asked him to plant and grow illicit drugs for him.
“Laughing Mushrooms?” Chopper asks.
“Mushrooms that make you laugh.” Luffy explains. As if that explains anything.
“Luffy, you want to grow recreational drugs?” Robin asks, clarifies.
Luffy rocks back on his heels, an absentminded smile on his lips as he nods. “I haven’t had Laughing Mushrooms since I was kid, so I was pretty excited when I found them again on Amazon Lily. I never tried weed till Rayleigh gave me some but I liked it so I asked if I could have some more and when he was seeing me off at Sabaody he gave me those so I could grow my own.” Then he pouts, “But I don’t know how to grow stuff like you guys so can you plant them for me Usopp?”
Chopper frowns, moving closer so that he peer into the pouch Usopp is still holding. “I know cannabis can be used to help reduce pain and lessen anxiety, but I’ve never heard of Laughing Mushrooms before. I’d like to study them a bit If that’s okay.”
“Sure.” Luffy agrees, shrugging carelessly.
Franky bursts out laughing. “God damn I missed this crew!” Luffy immediately beams and returns the sentiment enthusiastically. Robin smiles amusedly and returns to her book.
From the corner of his eye, Usopp sees Nami rubbing at her temples before ultimately deciding to wash her hands of the entire situation and walk away with her harvested fruit. Usopp just shrugs, sighs, and reaches for a new planter box.
At this point, being a Strawhat pirate is more about rolling with the punches than anything else.
The fact that Luffy not only has and will continue to consume—and even desires to produce—drugs, garners almost no reaction. Zoro blinks once and shrugs the whole thing off, and Sanji only stares in disbelief for a moment before a considering look crosses his features. The most exciting reaction is when Brook immediately lets out a pleased Yohoho and states that, if he’d known Luffy was interested, he would’ve brought some back with him. Apparently being rock/pop star means Brook was enjoying the high life.
(The next island they stop at, Sanji comes back with a small plant that he repots in the same planter as Luffy’s special plants and declares that if Luffy can grow weed then there’s nothing stopping him from growing his own tobacco and that it saves money in the long run. Chopper isn’t happy about it seeing as he still tries to convince Sanji to smoke less, but the plant is already there.
By the time they leave that island Franky has already finished the green house).
The thing is, none of them are actual gardeners. The most they have is Nami, who grew up in a farming family (before she was kidnapped and spent the next eight years decidedly not farming), Sanji, who helped maintain a small herb garden on the Baratie, Usopp, who only really knows how to grow his very different plants, and Robin, the only one who took up the hobby out of genuine interest.
The mushrooms are easy; fungus doesn’t need much help growing once it’s found a suitable home to reproduce. The marijuana, likewise, isn’t that much of a hassle. Inexperienced gardeners they might be, but once something starts growing it’s not that hard to keep it alive. No, the hard part is figuring out what to do from there.
“Can’t we just eat it?” Luffy asks.
“You have to dry it first,” Brook, the only other person on the ship who’s done weed before, says. “After that you can do whatever you want.”
The crew collectively contemplate the basket of full of Laughing Mushrooms and Marijuana buds.
“How did you guys, uh, take it?” Usopp asks.
“We’d grind up the flower and then roll blunts.” Brook says.
“Rayleigh brought brownies.” Luffy says.
Sanji snaps to attention immediately. “Brownies?”
“Yeah!” Luffy nods, grin huge. “They weren’t as good as yours and I didn’t know what they were when I ate them, but it was pretty good.” He lets out a gleeful and mischievous shishishi. “Rayleigh was so mad I ate all his weed.”
“But you can cook with it?” Sanji clarifies, intent.
Luffy nods again. “He said you can do a lot with it.”
Sanji and Chopper both eye the basket with the same calculating look.
Thus begins the experimentation.
They’re two hours out from Punk Hazard, and Law has just finished explaining the newest shit storm that Luffy has cheerfully brought down on all their heads. Usopp, laying face-down on the deck, raises an arm proclaims, “I’d like my anxiety medication please.”
Chopper shrugs his backpack off and rifles around before producing two capsules, dropping them in Usopp’s outstretched hand. He downs them instantly.
“Me too, Chopper.” Nami requests, holding out her hand.
“Ooh are we getting high?” Luffy asks, bouncing over. “Sanji! Edibles!”
“Edibles?” Kin’emon questions. “Are you making more of your delectable food?”
“I’d like more too!” Momonosuke adds.
“Ah,” Sanji makes a face, obligingly handing Brook a blunt. “If you’re hungry I’ll whip something up, but I don’t know if you’ll want what Luffy’s talking about.”
The two samurai tilt their head in confusion but Law, who’s been paying close attention since the word ‘medication’ was uttered, squints and asks. “Are. Are you talking about marijuana?”
Momo still looks confused, but Kin’emon furrows his brow and holds his chin.
“Yeah, you want some?” Luffy asks.
Law stares at the other captain blankly. “You just have weed?”
“We grow it.” Robin says, smiling amusedly at Law and his obvious bafflement.
“Shrooms too!” Luffy adds.
What a strange fucking group of people. Law thinks.
“AH!” Kin’emon suddenly exclaims. “I have heard of this ‘weed’ before. Is it true that consuming it results in hallucinations?”
“No, but we have shrooms if you wanted that.” Chopper offers. “Though as a doctor, I strongly advise moderate use and to not regularly overindulge.”
“What the fuck.” Caesar says. Watching as Brook—the living skeleton with an afro—offers Zoro the blunt, which he accepts, Law reluctantly agrees.
Sanji returns then, delivering snacks and drinks as he goes. Some of them, Law notes, are inconspicuously decorated green.
An hour later he watches, stunned as ‘Sniper King’ Usopp plays ‘Soul King’ Brook’s ribcage like a xylophone. Meanwhile ‘Cat Burglar’ Nami reclines peacefully in a lawn chair, bobbing her head to the ‘beat’. To the side, ‘Strawhat’ Luffy dances with ‘Cotton Candy Lover’ Chopper. On the ground and laughing his ass off, ‘Pirate Hunter’ Zoro cheer them on.
It has not even been twelve hours since its formation, yet once again Law finds himself regretting having formed an alliance with the Strawhat pirates.
Dressrosa is the biggest shitshow Law has ever experienced. Which is saying something considering his entire childhood.
He’s tricked, trapped, shot, chained, and dragged all over the island while thrown over the shoulder of a man half his size. He knew taking out Doflamingo wouldn’t be easy, but the Admiral he could’ve done without. Or, better yet, not getting his arm cut off. That would’ve been appreciated too. Well, at least he still has his arm, courtesy of the fucking fairies that helped sew it back on.
By the time they’re sailing away, the Strawhat pirates now an entire fucking armada richer, Law is convinced that his life is just one long-running cosmic joke. Because after all that, he can’t even get high in celebration.
The pain relief granted by cannabis has apparently come greatly in hand on Zou. The Minks, unaware of the plant and its many other uses (except for Cat Viper and Dogstrom), are grateful. The Heart Pirates, who are very aware of the plant and its numerous uses, are ecstatic.
Allies or not, Nami charges them out the nose. There are several complaints until Chopper brings out his bag and starts sorting through the many capsules, topicals, and various extract-isolates he’s created. There are some grumbles until Sanji produces a wide array of laced pastries, chocolates, snacks, and honest to God Usopp meals. Then they’re all but shoving money into Nami’s hands.
The Minks show some interest, but Nami refuses to charge them. Instead, she gets some leftover seeds and plants them in the space they’ve provided. (She may or may not give them some shrooms too).
All in all, it seems to be the start of a promising avenue for continuous profit.
(Law approaches Chopper before they all separate. Nami appears out of thin air five words in and it’s only by arguing that he got his arm cut off a week ago does he get himself a (2%) discount. He is explicitly told that it will never apply again and that he will charged double next time in retribution. He walks away understanding why Zoro refers to her as a witch).
They’re a day out from Totto land when Sanji busts out his ‘for one of Those Days’ blunt. The crew gather on deck in a circle and pass it around. Luffy and Chopper, who don’t smoke, lay across their crewmates lap, already having taken their edibles. Brook plays gentle, relaxing music on his violin. There’s an array of snacks, treats and sandwiches laid out, accompanied by tea and juice.
(There are some tears, some apologies. Sanji hugs Luffy, straw hat sat askew on his blond hair, and says some things he will later swear he never did. He and Carrot sit in the centre of a genuine Strawhat Cuddle Pile).
They’ve earned it.