Chapter Text
Living together was like an extended sleepover with your best friend, at first. If your best friend was someone you had a huge crush on and wanted to jump every time you saw them, that is.
Then, over time, subtly but becoming more notable as the months ticked by, it got harder.
Tweek probably should have expected that. They did always say, living together changed things. And given how prone to overthinking he was, the extended togetherness gave him ample opportunity to have things worm into his mind, plant seeds of doubt, tied up with anxiety and low self worth. It wasn’t like he could talk to anyone about it, either. Who even would he burden with his constant worries, for one thing? Not his parents, ever. They never helped him. Not Kenny, certainly.
And Craig was fine, if increasingly subdued. Introverted, even. They weren’t arguing, really. They were just settling down, becoming the constant in each other’s lives. But on a day-to-day basis, it was much more likely they acted like roommates who happened to lay down together and kiss goodnight at the end of the day, than they felt that flame burning between them and couldn’t keep their hands off each other.
It was just normal life. Every day wasn’t going to be the greatest love story of all time, Tweek reminded himself. They got tired from work, or the world, or just the monotony of life. They needed time to relax and unwind, to be off and not have to impress anyone. He knew the magic was still there, because he would look over at Craig and his pulse would speed up, his stomach flip –
- but then Craig would probably look over at him, and remind him to take his coffee mug to the sink, or something. And that would make Tweek feel like Craig was probably annoyed with him, actually. He didn’t mean to be messy, he always got around to cleaning up after himself, just sometimes he missed things in the moment, when he got distracted.
Nearly every day, in the course of trying to do the things they had to do, they would manage to get on each other’s nerves. Tweek would go to pains trying to be quiet while up getting ready for work hours before Craig needed to be, but inevitably a forgotten alarm would go off, or he’d drop something, or accidentally slam a door. Craig would lecture about the stack of laundry left on his desk that he had to deal with before he could work. They would have to talk about bills, or errands, or some other mild unpleasantness.
Whatever the weirdness that was going on between them, one thing was clear. The honeymoon period was definitely over.
That in and of itself was okay. Tweek had never gotten to that point in a relationship before, so he tried to take it as a good sign. Life was just a little stressful right now. Things felt a little aimless.
But then at the end of the day, Craig would plant a kiss on his forehead, or hug him from behind when Tweek was cleaning up in the kitchen. He’d stick his hands in the sink and they would wash the dishes together, embracing like that. They would sit down and put on some show or game, and they might both bury their heads in their phones and barely say another word, but Tweek would rest his head on Craig’s shoulder, or Craig would wrap his arms around Tweek and pull him in closer. They’d be together.
~
Craig was going a little stir crazy.
It was becoming a common feeling. At first, the novelty of getting to be with Tweek immediately, every day, as soon as they both ended their days, gave him something to look forward to. But his work had already been growing boring, and after a dreary cold winter spent primarily stuck inside, his remote work/living room office/only choice for where to hang out at night was starting to feel claustrophobic.
At least Tweek got to leave every day. Yes, he left early and he worked late - too late, too often. And sure, being prisoner to a store could feel like its own four walls closing in on you. Craig got that. But at least he had a flow of new faces to see every day. At least he could look out the big glass walls of the coffee shop and see the outside world.
Sometimes, in the short, grey days of winter, Craig forgot what time of day it was, and it seemed to go from morning to after dark before he’d even gotten up to take a break. There were only a few windows in Tweek’s apartment, and they were all to his back when he sat at the desk working.
In those early winter days of their cohabitation, when he finished work before Tweek made it home, he would go out just to break the day up, even if he had no real reason to. A walk, maybe, even though it was dark, at least until the sidewalks got too crusted with icy sludge to be at all enjoyable anymore. A visit over to his parents’ house. Sometimes he’d pick up something he needed as an excuse for showing up, but sometimes he just dropped in to say hi and sit around for a while, four different walls to look at for a change. Even a trip to the grocery store. There was almost always a couple things that he could find that they needed.
Sometimes he would visit Tweek, when he finished working and Tweek hadn’t come home yet. But usually, if Tweek was working into the evening, he was dealing with some shit, no doubt frantically trying to put out fires so he could leave eventually. So he didn’t do that too often, because he wouldn’t be able to have Tweek’s attention anyway, and would probably only make it take longer until he could come home.
Then, something happened. Craig got pulled in on a big project for a new client at work. He ended up putting in more time at the office in Denver in just a few weeks than he had in all the time working there so far. When the project wrapped up and his schedule went back to remote optional, he had to admit, the extra time out of the apartment hadn’t been half bad. Not that he necessarily wanted to be doing all that travel too often. Not from South Park, for sure. The drive was long and gas wasn’t cheap, for one thing. He got home late and tired on travel days, and making that a regularity was probably not a great idea in these early days of living with Tweek.
Craig well knew living with someone could be an adjustment at first. It takes time to get used to having someone else around all the time, their habits, having to make concessions in your own. It could be stressful and awkward. It could put new pressure on a relationship. Craig had done it a couple times now, with his ex, and his former dorm mate before that. Tweek, he realized, never had. Tweek also was especially prone to letting stressors get to him, but in Craig’s estimation, everything was exactly as it should be at this point in their relationship. Adjusting their routines, and perhaps a little aggravated from living together in such small accommodations. But being with Tweek to start and end every day was still the thing he looked forward to the most.
The best thing to do, Craig decided, was to start going into the office regularly. Just one day every week, to start. It would get him out of the house, maybe even get him some more opportunities at work. Plus, it would get him out of Tweek’s hair for an evening, not to mention out of his own funk. It would mean a day of getting up too early, a long round trip drive and a late dinner regularly, but it wasn’t like he wouldn’t be coming home. It was a relatively small sacrifice of their time together, overall.
It never occurred to Craig that Tweek might have feelings about it, one way or the other. He had made the arrangements and informed Tweek of the new plan after it was all said and done. And Tweek seemed to take it in stride, but Craig expected that, so the possibility of anything else wasn’t on his radar, either. He mused about how they could cook something that made leftovers so the late night was easier for them both, and how maybe he would get up with Tweek’s pre-sunrise alarm and just start his day then. Tweek, for his part, expressed no opinion on any of it one way or the other.
~
It was nothing less than what Tweek had always expected, truthfully. He has known from the start that Craig was anxious to get out of South Park. It was just that, with how quickly their relationship had been progressing, he’d started to let himself believe that Craig was thinking of sticking around. He had probably fucked up by asking Craig to move in with him so soon. It killed all the mystery, all the longing. Everything seemed to be going so well, though. It had seemed like the inevitable next step. It had seemed like they were ready for it.
Tweek always knew his dead end of a life would eventually be a deal breaker. He just hadn’t expected it to happen so quickly.
Craig got out into the world, just a little bit, and immediately realized he was wasting his life away here in South Park. Craig didn’t have to be stuck here with Tweek, where he’d always been, the one and only place he had ever lived, the one and only job he’d ever had. The only future he could imagine, all decided for him before he even knew it was happening. He knew what they had wasn’t fake, it wasn’t like he was questioning that. Him and Craig, they really loved each other. The kind of thing you hope for and aren’t even completely sure is real.
That only made the whole situation worse. Because it was real, and it could have been so good. It could have been forever, and he really thought they could have been happy. If he was a different kind of person. If he had more to offer. But it wasn’t going to work out. Not in the end, for the long term. Tweek always knew that.
The change had clearly been so good for Craig, too. The challenge of stepping up for his first big project at work had sparked something in him that had been dull for a while. For a time there, Tweek could see how clearly it drove him, how it energized him, and he was so proud. He was happy for Craig. And increasingly desperate, because Craig could barely contain how pleased he was when he spoke about his new schedule, or some new co-worker he had met, or made plans for the days he would be traveling into the city.
But he came home every night, and they were happy together. They saw each other’s families, talked to friends, made plans and spent time together. The short days and cold long nights of winter faded into early spring, ice and dirty melting snow and biting cold wind gradually giving way to rain and mud, sunshine, budding trees and flowers. And they were approaching a year, a whole year since they met again and immediately started orbiting each other’s gravity. Not their anniversary, if that was even a thing they would celebrate, Tweek cautioned himself. That would more accurately be summer, around his birthday. But a year since that first day Craig happened to pop into a coffee shop, despite not being a coffee drinker, like something fated and inevitable.
Inevitable, like what happened next. Because it was around that time of year, spring, when Craig called to warn Tweek not to wait up for him for the first time.
“It’s a business dinner,” he had said. “With the management team, to talk about a new project coming up.”
And Tweek believed him. Craig was good at what he did, Tweek didn’t even have to know anything about it to know that. That was why Craig wanted to be around the office more often, to get another opportunity like that. To get thought of and called in because he was around more often. Tweek had met one of his bosses, too, that time in the city, for Halloween. He had been interested in Craig then. It was no surprise Craig would be gaining interest now. The world was waiting for him with open arms.
He did it a few more times after that, though. And Tweek still believed him. He did, even though it was starting to wear on something in the pit of his stomach. When he started randomly adding office days into his schedule. When he started fussing over his hair until one day he came home and had cut off all those gorgeous dark beachy waves Tweek adored in favor of a short, neat style. When he started dressing better for the office, wearing that tie Tweek gave him and making sure his shoes weren’t scuffed. When he got a phone call and ran into the hallway to take it, rolling his eyes as he came back into their apartment and explaining it as work stuff.
Something was happening. Or maybe a lot of things were happening. All Tweek knew for sure was he needed to be happy for Craig, and be prepared for what was coming.
~
Something was happening.
A strong performance review, a glowing complement from a good client, and a chance encounter in the hallway following a staff meeting, to be exact. Craig’s boss’s boss, the very one he had an awkward run in with in the city that past autumn, knew who he was now, and had apparently been following his progress with the company. He had casually asked Craig if he intended to apply for a position that had opened up in a different department, one that just happened to be much closer to Craig’s degree background than the customer service work he was doing now.
It has come as a total surprise to Craig. He’d barely been with the company a year, and he said as much. Only to be told, enthusiastically, that it didn’t matter! They liked to hire from within! And what could it hurt to apply, anyway? The conversation ended with instructions to look into it, and a quick word of encouragement.
Craig had applied. How could he not, really, after that? It wasn’t like he was going to get it. He was too new and too green, too young and inexperienced in the workforce for a role like that. It would be a good experience. Show them he was eager and hungry. Maybe he’d get a better raise out of it when his next review came up.
There had been a few rounds of interviews, a lot of new people to meet. Then they had called, and asked him to come in on Friday. Friday. Everyone who has worked an office job knew that was ominous. He was either getting fired or they were letting him down easy that he didn’t get the promotion, when the sting would have a few days to wear off before they had to deal with him again. He couldn’t be getting fired, right? Laid off, maybe. Craig hated to admit it, but people did say there was a lot of change over in the IT departments. Either way, he wasn’t taking any chances. He made sure to look his most professional before he left the house that day.
The meeting had been at the end of the day, leaving him to sweat it out as the hours passed, becoming more and more assured his ass was toast. But when they sat him down in the conference room, across the huge wooden table from a company president and two department managers, it turned out he had been wrong about everything, because they were actually offering him the job. Craig left the office elated, with an offer package he had to review over the weekend and return with his acceptance.
It was on the drive back to South Park that the elation started to fade. He wasn’t worried about his ability to do the job – they had talked extensively about what was involved. He was confident in himself. All this time, though, a month probably when it was all said and done. A month passed as he applied and interviewed and went through the whole process, he had been telling himself he wouldn’t get the job.
He’d been telling himself this wasn’t going to happen, and that took some of the pressure off the process. It had been a good little white lie to himself for that reason. But it also gave him a rationale for why he didn’t need to tell Tweek about it. Why mention the possibility of a promotion when it was so unlikely to actually happen? Why worry him. He wasn’t going to get the job.
Except, he did get the job.
Shit.
He hadn’t been trying to lie or be sneaky. He only wanted to save Tweek the stress of worrying about something he didn’t need to worry about. It wasn’t the first time he had decided to spare Tweek some bit of information he would make too much out of. It had always seemed the right choice. So far, it always worked out. Tweek dwelled on things if given the opportunity. He didn’t want to put unnecessary stress on him.
Had he honestly never considered actually getting the job? How much worse it would be to tell Tweek now, instead of having the last month to work through it? Maybe it was all just an excuse to put the unpleasantness off to a later date, hoping to avoid it entirely. Maybe it was just him, trying to make his own life easier by avoiding conflict. Either way, he was screwed now. What he needed to do was use this time to think of the best possible way to spin this news to Tweek. If he presented it perfectly, maybe Tweek would see that it was a good thing for both of them, instead of immediately doom spiraling over it.
For once, the drive home from Denver went way too quickly. He wanted to make some grand gesture to break the news gently, focus on how a pay bump might help them get a little bigger place next, or have a little more flexibility to have more fun. Take him out on a date or something, to soften him up for the news. But it was late. He’d probably already ate. Craig was at least smart enough to realize he shouldn’t wait any longer. It was already going to be hard enough justifying why he had kept it from Tweek for so long.
Tweek called just as Craig was getting into South Park. Usually Craig would call on his ride home, so probably Tweek was imagining some horrible accident or tragedy. Craig should have answered. He didn’t know what to say, though. Tweek would hear something was wrong in his voice. He needed to wait until they were together, so he could show Tweek how torn he was about this. So Tweek knew Craig knew the gravity of it.
He let the call go to voicemail.
He was almost home. Then he could hug Tweek, and assure him that everything would work out. Make sure he knew how much of an ass he felt like for keeping it from him.
The key in the lock of their apartment door fought him. Like a bad omen, it stuck and he made a racket trying to get in, announcing his presence before he had a chance to settle his nerves a bit. Tweek was tucked into the corner of the couch, his legs curled up under him, a mug of coffee in his hands. He was jittering noticeably, and Craig wondered how he managed not to spill. He also wondered how many cups Tweek had drank already today. It wasn’t a great sign if he was all jacked up on caffeine.
Maybe some food first. There must be something easy Craig could whip up. Cooking would buy him some time, too. He crossed the room to the kitchen.
“Hungry?”
“I called,” Tweek answered.
Craig paused in his search of the fridge. “I was almost home.”
Tweek nodded, chewing on his lip. “I ate earlier.”
“Oh,” Craig answered lamely. He closed the refrigerator. Guess the time was now. “So… umm, honey. How was your day?”
Or not.
Tweek shrugged, not even bothering with a verbal answer.
“Okay, well… at least it’s Friday, right?”
Tweek huffed. “Friday doesn’t mean much when you work weekends.”
“So don’t work this weekend,” Craig answered shortly, because this was one of those topics that always got him fired up.
“You know I have to.”
“I know it’s not your shift, and you don’t get paid more for it,” Craig snapped back.
Shit. Why was he picking a fight right now? He was only trying to make some easy small talk.
“I’m sorry,” Craig apologized quickly. “Actually, I – I have something I need to talk to you about.”
Tweek wouldn’t look at him. He gulped and gritted his teeth. “Okay.”
“It’s not bad,” Craig muttered. He took a tentative seat on the edge of the coach next to Tweek, and gently lifted the mug from his hands, setting it on the table. “ Can I, just – thanks.”
Then he took Tweek’s hands in his, took a deep breath, blowing all that air back out in a big huff before he found the nerve to start.
“So, I, ahh… got a promotion at work!”
Tweek twitched. “What?”
“A promotion,” Craig repeated lamely.
“Oh,” Tweek said slowly, frowning. “Wow! That’s… great.”
“Thank you,” Craig said quickly. “I’ll get a raise, so that will be nice.”
“Congratulations.” Tweek shifted, pulling his hands away from Craig and crossing his arms protectively around himself. “So, how… ack! How? Did this happen?”
Yeah, good question. How do you one day come home and announce a promotion without ever before mentioning the possibility? “…I applied. One of the vice presidents recommended it to me.”
“One of the vice presidents?” Tweek asked, an edge to his voice.
“Yeah. That one, that you met? I didn’t think there was a chance in hell I would get it,“ Craig glanced at Tweek, but his expression was unreadable. He just stared at some point beyond Craig, eyebrows knitted together in concentration. “That’s why I didn’t mention it. But, I did! Get it. They told me today.”
“That’s why you went in today,” Tweek said.
“Yeah,” Craig agreed.
“The extra days recently…”
“Right. Some of them.”
“The dinners?” Tweek asked, emotionless.
“Yeah,” Craig said, eyeing Tweek warily. “Some of them.”
“Some of them.” Tweek nodded, his jaw flexing. “And, the job…?”
“It’s with a new department. I’ll be working for the head developer, as a project manager-“
“Wow.” Tweek smirked. “And you get a raise.”
“Yeah… and an office…” Craig added carefully. “It’s, umm… an in-person position.”
The dead air as Craig waited for Tweek’s reaction was excruciating.
“Seriously?” Tweek snapped, and that was the moment Craig was sure he was in danger. “Wait – seriously? You applied for a job in Denver and didn’t even mention it to me?”
“I thought I would jinx it-“
“You thought you would jinx it!” Tweek shouted. “It was so important that you even got superstitious about it!”
“No- that’s not what I mean, Tweek,” Craig protested. “I didn’t want you to worry. I thought there was no way I would get it!”
“No way you would get it,” Tweek scoffed. “Our favorite vice president literally told you to go for it, Craig.”
“Don’t imply whatever you’re implying there, Tweek,” Craig warned.
“No, that’s okay, you just go out to dinner with him-“
“What?” Craig exclaimed. “He was never at one of those dinners. He wasn’t even part of the interview process-“
“Now you’ll see him every day at the office-“ Tweek continued, jumping up from the coach as he started to pace restlessly.
Craig was starting to lose his patience. “He has never been anything other than professional toward me, Tweek.”
“We both know that’s not true.”
“You’re being ridiculous!” Craig yelled.
Damn it. He was losing control of his emotions now, but he’d been totally unprepared for Tweek’s reaction.
“Craig. I’m not stupid,” Tweek said. “Just tell me what the fuck this is. You’re moving to Denver for a job? Okay. I’m happy for you. I hope you love it. Have a great fucking life.”
“Tweek! Honey, no.” Craig threw his hands in the air. Just wildly out of control now. “I’m not… breaking up with you.”
“You might as well be, though, Craig!” Tweek stopped his pacing to shout, then resumed. “You’re not going to commute to Denver every day. You’re moving. We’ll never see each other. You’ll love it there and never want to leave, you’re going to meet people and get a life for yourself and realize this is already over-“
“No, Tweek!” Craig insisted. “You’re not even giving me a chance to tell you, I’ve- I’ve been thinking about it-“
“You don’t have to pretend, Craig, okay? I- I know. I know there’s options for you out there. I know you wanted that guy, and if not him, it will be someone else-“
“What?” Craig sputtered. “I don’t know what you’re talking about!”
“At the club, Craig,” Tweek reminded him with a sneer. “I asked if your boss-“
“My boss’s boss,” Craig muttered stubbornly.
Tweek huffed and continued. “-was hitting on you, and you said ‘only until you showed up.’ So, don’t let me ruin it for you anymore, Craig.”
“What?” Craig threw his hands in the air. “Are you fucking serious? Oh, that’s, fucking. Incredible. You’ve been stewing over that for months?”
Tweek looked defiant.
“Well fuck my life, I guess,” Craig said. “I made a bad fucking joke and it’s gonna come back to bite me in the ass.”
“What?” Tweek asked.
“A joke, Tweek. I made a joke.” Craig chuckled dryly. “You know? He was hitting on me until he saw you? My hot boyfriend? No one notices me when you’re around? Because you’re so hot?”
Tweek opened his mouth, but his breath caught. His face fell, lips twitching, and he turned away from Craig, starting another pace across the room. He made it two steps before his knees started shaking, then gave in. He collapsed onto the floor, elbows on his knees, pulling his hair as he hung his head. Tweek tried to take some deep, steady breathes, but a huge lump in his throat made his gasp instead, struggling to get a breath in.
“Tweek-“ Craig sighed, rising to go check on him.
But Tweek yelled, waving him off angrily. “Gah, don’t- talk to me… I can’t fucking think right now! Ergh…”
“You know, I thought we could talk about this like reasonable adults, but-“
“If that’s what you thought, you wouldn’t have gone to so much trouble hiding it from me!” Tweek retorted.
“Can you really blame me when you’re acting like this?” Craig snapped.
Tweek screamed incoherently before he could get words out, still pulling at his hair and twitching all over. “What’s there to talk about anyway? You took a job in the city!”
“Fine,” Craig said, heaving himself back into the couch cushions. “Fine. We can’t talk about it, figure out how it’s going to work? Alright. I get it, Tweek. I’ll turn down the job. That’s what I’ll do.”
“Now who’s being ridiculous,” Tweek snapped. “You can’t do that, obviously.”
“No, I can,” Craig said. “I’ll tell them Monday.”
“Fuck you!” Tweek shouted. “Obviously you can’t do that after you applied and they picked you, Craig. They’d never give you another chance.”
“Yeah, I know,” Craig replied. “Oh well, I guess. There’s other companies.”
“Gah, you fucking, asshole,” Tweek grumbled, dropping his head between his knees. “I don’t even want to look at you right now, I’m so fucking mad at you.”
“Fine,” Craig said, an easy nonchalance to his tone betraying his underlying anger. “I’ll leave.”
And Tweek just sat there, cross legged on the floor, staring open mouthed in disbelief as Craig grabbed his keys and walked out the door.
He made it all the way to the driver seat of his car before his anger subsided enough to let a rational thought through. Why did he do that? Craig let out a frustrated growl and slammed his hand into the dashboard, once, and the blooming pain tingling through his fingers gave him something else to focus on for a second, so he did it again, harder, and again, until he screamed and had to grip the steering wheel to get himself under control.
“Fuck!”
Why did Tweek have to be so impossible to talk to? Why did he have to jump to crazy conclusions like that? He couldn’t seriously believe this was about any kind of dissatisfaction in their relationship. Not when Craig was so enthusiastic to be with him. Nonsensical, when he made it so clear he wanted to spend all his free time with Tweek. When just knowing he got to see his face at the end of the day made him so happy.
He shouldn’t have walked out. It was maddening that Tweek would immediately give up on them, though. It was like he was just waiting for this to happen. He had his excuses all ready to go. It pissed Craig off so much he couldn’t even think straight, then the fact that it made him so mad he lost control of his emotions and walked out just made his pissed all over again.
Sitting there in the driveway still, in his car in the dark, angry, trying to get himself back under control, Craig spiraled over what to do. Go back in now and try again? Probably better to give them both some time to cool down. It was kind of late to drop in on his parents, but embarrassing as it was to admit even to himself, he almost wished he could talk to his mom.
Then his stomach growled loudly. Sighing, Craig backed out of the driveway. He hadn’t even registered that he was getting hungry, amidst all the drama. It was a decent way to kill a little time while he got his head together, at least. He drove into town, went through the first drive through he found open, then parked in the empty lot.
Alone in the dark, dejectedly eating a shitty cheeseburger and fries, he actually started to feel bad for himself. Way to celebrate his first promotion. A fight with his boyfriend and a crappy fast food dinner. Some people might have their significant other take them out to dinner when they got promoted. Some might get laid.
But Craig got to eat alone in his car in the dark. He got heartburn and a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach that easing the hunger hadn’t resolved. And he got to sit there and absorb the fact that it was his fault. Instead of having what was sure to be a challenging conversation with his partner about their future, he gambled on avoiding the conflict, and he fucked himself in the end. He had triggered Tweek’s insecurities, unfounded as they may be.
It felt like Tweek jumped immediately to pushing him away, like he wouldn’t try to hold on to what they had at all. That made Craig so angry he couldn’t even find words to express it. He was pissed. And it was his own fault. He shouldn’t have left.
He should have trusted Tweek enough to talk about their future before the decision was made for them.
When he got home, the apartment was dark. At first he thought Tweek must have gone to bed, and he crept into their room, but the bed was empty. Craig stood there staring at it for a minute, doing his best not to let his feelings about this development overcome him. He gulped down a lump in his throat and blinked to clear his blurring eyes. Then he sat down on the edge of the bed and dialed Tweek’s number.
It rang for far too long before the automated voicemail picked up. As if Tweek didn’t even check it and choose to reject the call, just ignored it completely.
Craig called three more times, and got voicemail three more times. He didn’t leave a message. Groaning, he dropped his head into his hands. The only thing he could do now was get ready for bed, and hope Tweek came home soon.
He drifted in and out of restless sleep, but was alert instantly when hours later, the front door opened. It took so much time for the bedroom door to open after, that Craig began to wonder if Tweek was exiling himself to the couch, but finally he crept into the room.
Craig waited as Tweek carefully climbed under the covers. Waited to see if he would do anything, touch him, say something, anything. He didn’t, though. Craig could barely even hear him breathing.
“I called,” Craig noted, his soft admission breaking the silence in the dark room.
“Yeah, well I knew I was fine, so why bother answering,” Tweek retorted.
Craig sighed and turned over in bed. Tweek was laying on his side, facing away from him, huddled at the edge as far away as possible.
“Point taken, Tweek,” Craig said. “Where did you go?”
“Where did you go?” Tweek snapped, and Craig could hear him getting heated already.
“McDonalds,” Craig answered, trying not to sound annoyed. “I needed to calm down.”
“You seemed pretty calm to me.”
“Well, I wasn’t.”
Tweek sighed. “I went for a walk. To clear my head.”
“You went for a five hour walk?” Craig asked pointedly, not actually bothering to do the math to see if he was exaggerating or not.
“Yeah,” Tweek agreed. “I walked to the bar. Then I walked back.”
“Oh, okay. So you’re drunk,” Craig mused.
“I’m not,” Tweek snapped defensively. “I walked around for a while. Had a drink. Walked around some more. I’m back now.”
Craig didn’t much like the idea of Tweek drinking then walking around the town late at night, but he realized he didn’t have a leg to stand on about it right now, so he let it go. He placed a hand on Tweek’s shoulder. Tweek flinched.
“Honey,” Craig pleaded. “I know I messed up by not telling you about this sooner, but I have no intention of letting this fuck things up between us.”
Tweek’s only reaction was a deep breath in and out. Craig slid over close to him and wrapped an arm around Tweek’s chest, his hand gripping his shoulder. Normally when Craig pulled up close like this, Tweek practically tried to burrow underneath him. Tonight, he just lay there. Didn’t move away, didn’t squirm closer, only tolerated it.
“Please? Can we talk about it?”
The question was met by silence, and for a moment Craig was afraid Tweek was actually going to turn him down. But then he groaned and shook Craig off him, shoving himself up to sitting. And sat there, chewing his cheek and fuming, arms crossed around himself.
“Right now?” Tweek asked, a note of desperation in his voice.
“Well, I just-“
“Fine,” Tweek spat. “Let’s talk. Good idea, why not. We’re both pissed, sleep deprived, it’s the middle of the night. What do you want to talk about, Craig.”
“It’s better to ignore it?” Craig challenged. “We should just go to sleep, then you leave in a few hours again, and spend all day tomorrow thinking about it?”
“So, talk.”
Craig sat up next to Tweek, facing him in the dark. Tweek still wouldn’t look at him. “I know this isn’t ideal, but let’s try to be positive, babe. This could be really good for us. We could… we could get a bigger apartment. Some extra space would be nice, right?”
Tweek frowned. Craig could just make out the stitch between his brows and jutted, pouty lip in the dark.
“I mean, we haven’t even talked about anything,” Craig continued. “When’s your lease up here? Have you thought about what kind of commute you could live with? I know you work early, I don’t want to make that harder than it already is… 45 minutes? 30? Less than that?”
Craig’s attempt at reason drifted off lamely. It took excruciatingly long for Tweek to give a response.
“What about your commute?” he finally asked quietly. “How long do you want to spend driving every day?”
“I want this to work for you, Tweek,” Craig responded firmly.
“I think when we look at places, you should be looking for stuff local to your work. And in your price range.”
“That kind of sounds like you’re telling me to move out,” Craig accused.
“I’m just saying it needs to work for you.” Tweek was doing a much better job of concealing his real feelings about this, to Craig’s frustration. “We don’t know what’s going to happen.”
They went round and round the same conversation for hours, and made no progress. Tweek stubbornly resisted committing to any kind of compromise, not giving away anything about his willingness to consider moving or commuting. He blandly agreed to whatever Craig suggested, but clearly had no intention of actually trying any of it. It was like he totally gave up on them, and he denied it when Craig called him out on it, but he also shut down every idea Craig had about how they could make this work.
The sun started to rise outside their window, and Tweek just got up and started getting ready for work, like their whole future wasn’t on the line. Like they weren’t in the middle of the most important conversation to date. Like Craig hadn’t kept him up all night, upset and exhausted, selfishly sleepless when he had the whole day to recover but Tweek had to work.
“Call in,” Craig pleaded, weary and exhausted as Tweek dragged himself around the room getting dressed. “Or just go in later. Honey, please. Come sleep for a while.”
“I can’t, Craig.”
He could, Craig was sure of it. It was Saturday. Tweek didn’t have to open. It wasn’t his scheduled shift as barista. He could have stayed, and slept, and then kept trying until they found some acceptable resolution together. He just wouldn’t.
And Craig was too exhausted to argue effectively anymore. He was too defeated to insist Tweek stay, and too mad at himself to think he could be the voice of reason in this situation anymore. He tried one final time anyway, literally following Tweek out their front door and into the building’s shared hallway barefoot in only sweatpants in a sleep deprived haze.
“Please, Tweek,” Craig said. “Don’t leave like this.”
“It’s my job, Craig,” Tweek grumbled as he walked away. “I have to work. It’s how I support myself.”
The door slammed shut as Tweek walked out. Craig drifted back up to their apartment in a haze. Looking around the empty space dejectedly, he turned all the lights off behind himself and climbed back into bed. He wouldn’t be able to sleep, he was sure of it. Not with how upset he was. How angry and worn down he was.
When he opened his eyes, it was mid-afternoon already.
Tweek still hadn’t come home. And Craig never felt worse in his entire life. What a shit show he had turned this into. He knew it was going to be difficult to work out, what with his job in the city progressing, and Tweek determined to run the family business here in South Park. But looking back now, rested and with the events of the previous evening and long, late night processed, it was clear he couldn’t have made worse choices every step of the way.
Poor Tweek. He had to be beyond exhausted, probably staying out far longer than he needed to in order to distract himself from the situation. All he’d really wanted to do was avoid conflict, but instead he’d undoubtedly caused Tweek an anxiety spiral.
Craig never wanted to be the cause of Tweek feeling like that. He wanted to be the person that was Tweek’s respite from all of it. He wanted Tweek to know he could rely on him, that he’d always be there for him, that he would work so hard for them.
He needed to make it up to Tweek. Show him how important their relationship was to him. Get on his good side again somehow, so they could approach this problem from a united front.
As usual, the first thing that came to Craig’s mind was food.
It might not solve the problem, but he could at least put the effort in to show he intended to take care of Tweek no matter what. Tweek could come home and rest while he prepared a nice apology dinner. Maybe if he did it up really good, that in and of itself would help ease the tension.
His money would go a lot farther at the grocery store, but if he wanted to impress, it had to be Whole Foods. Craig got dressed and headed out, on a mission to buy something delicious that would hopefully light the spark that turned this shit show around and saved his relationship. He had his basket loaded and was on the way to check out when the flower department caught his eye. Bringing his boyfriend flowers after a fight would be incredibly corny and way too obvious. At the moment, that sounded absolutely perfect.
Craig was nitpicking over the bouquets, searching for the exact right one, when he heard his name. Surprised, he looked up to see Karen McCormick smiling and headed his way.
She hugged him, catching Craig off-guard. “Hi! How have you been? It’s been a while!”
Craig stalled, clearing his throat. Small talk was never his specialty. “It has! You can’t be done with school already for the year…?”
“No, just home for the weekend,” Karen replied easily, oblivious to Craig’s awkwardness. “Soon, though!”
“Right. Tricia’s stressing about final exams.”
“Me too,” Karen drawled, nodding sympathetically. “How’s Tweek?”
“Tweek?” Craig asked meekly, grimacing. “He’s… ahh, good.”
“Good!” she enthused. “Once I’m home for the summer, we should plan a cookout again. That was so much fun!”
“Oh, yeah. Sounds…good.”
“I miss everyone! It’s been too long,” Karen said. “Gosh, I haven’t seen Tweek since… well I guess it must have been since Christmas morning!”
“Yeah, it’s been…” Craig drifted off, frowning. “Wait, what?”
“Hmm?” Karen asked, glancing around now like she was about to make her exit.
“Christmas morning?” Craig repeated dumbly.
“Yeah,” Karen said, but her cheerful brightness was failing a little as she watched Craig uncertainly. “Because he, you know… stayed with us on Christmas Eve?”
“Oh,” Craig said, then he stayed real quiet for a moment, processing that. “He…right - Wait. He stayed over? Like, he slept at your house on Christmas eve?”
“Umm, yeah, why? Did you not… I mean, did he…?”
“He spent the night. At Kenny’s house,” Craig said, glancing around himself like he forgot where he was. Settling his eyes on the basket in his hands, he frowned and let go of the handle. The basket clattered to the ground. “I have to go.”
“Oh, hey!” Karen called as Craig walked away. “It was- wait! Craig!”
“It’s fine,” he called back, waving her off.
It wasn’t fine. It was, unfortunately, all falling into place for Craig, and it was dire. If Tweek told him he’d stayed over Kenny’s house, he wouldn’t have loved it, even though he had no right to have an opinion, probably. But the fact that he would lie about it. What was he supposed to make of that? What, indeed, if not a sudden understanding of how it all makes sense? It just took this bit of new information to clarify the situation. Why Tweek was so ready to trash their relationship. Why he jumped to accusing Craig of wanting other people. It was so obvious to him now that he felt stupid for not seeing it before.
~
Tweek’s phone rang for the first time that day as he was wrapping up his shift, finally preparing to head home. There was a moment where his heart surged and his breath caught in his throat as he checked to see who was trying to reach him, but when he saw Kenny’s name on the screen instead of Craig’s, it was like whatever tiny bit of energy he was holding on to drained right out of him. Sighing, his shoulders visibly slumped as he dragged himself through the final tasks.
His phone beeped, a message left. Tweek swiped the notification away, thinking that he might just erase it later without listening. It beeped again when he was on the way home. A text notification this time. Risking a glance away from the road, Tweek quickly dropped down the notification, saw Kenny’s name again, and swiped the alert away. He couldn’t very well check it while he was driving, so he ignored it for now, as well.
Two messages from Kenny. That meant he’d have to check voice mail and text alike, eventually, but he had more pressing matters to worry about at the moment. In particular, Craig’s car waiting ominously in his driveway. He hadn’t been totally sure Craig would be here when he came home. After declining to stay this morning, Tweek half expected to come home to something crazy, like Craig moving out or something. Everything seemed… quiet, at least from the outside, though. Tweek took a big breath and headed inside. He was going to have to apologize, he knew that. He’d warned himself not to be hurt and make it about him when Craig eventually told him whatever it was that was going on, but somehow the shock of being right, the terror at hearing his fears were true and founded, had overcome his self control anyway.
When he came through the front door, Craig was waiting for him on the couch, much as he had been the night before. And Tweek had a weird flash of panic, a premonition that almost had him turn in his tracks and bail right out of his own apartment, like that sickly spiraling feeling of deja vu. It felt exactly like last night.
“Hi,” Tweek said simply, cringing as he closed the door behind him.
“Hi,” Craig echoed.
“I know we need to talk,” Tweek started, but then couldn’t find the words to start.
“Why don’t you sleep for a while first,” Craig suggested. “You must be exhausted.”
“Oh,” Tweek gasped, as if realizing it for the first time. “Yeah. I am, actually. I should sleep, you’re probably right. Umm, I want to say something first, though.”
Craig sighed and shrugged. “Okay.”
Tweek frowned as he sat on the opposite end of the couch from Craig, perched upright stiff and anxiously, picking at his fingers as he spoke. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I reacted badly yesterday, but I’m-argh- p-proud of you, Craig. And I’m happy for you. I want to be supportive. I think it might be – hard on us, I do – “ his voice choked up as he said that, but he got it back under control and was able to finish saying his peace. “And I know we need to talk about how it’s going to work out for both of us.”
Craig was quiet for so long that Tweek dared a peek up from his fingers to try to see what he may be thinking. He was giving him nothing, though. Face still stony, a barely perceptible shake of his head, a small tap of his hand on the arm of the couch.
“Okay.”
Tweek bit his lip. “Yeah?”
Craig only shrugged, so Tweek stood and moved to leave, more than ready to throw himself into his bed for a few hours.
“Hey, Tweek.”
Craig’s summons just as he was about to enter the bedroom was so quiet Tweek almost missed it.
Tweek turned toward him, humming a little acknowledgment.
Craig hesitated, and for a moment it seemed like he was going to say ‘never mind’ and send Tweek off to bed. Then, for some reason, he started talking anyway.
“That’s it? There’s nothing else you need to say to me?” Craig asked, and Tweek made another little noise, of confusion this time. “Nothing you should tell me?”
“I mean… no?” Tweek asked, rubbing his eyes blearily.
Another long pause. Then Craig started talking again, patiently, calmly. Almost like he was telling a story.
“Remember how my mom made me go to church on Christmas Eve? And stay home to spend the morning with them?”
Now it was Tweek’s turn for a long awkward pause, as he tried to wrap his head around the words Craig had spoken, very much not what he had been expecting. “Yeah?”
“What did you do that night?”
“…dinner with your parents,” Tweek mumbled, really struggling to pull the correct information from his memory in his sleep deprived confusion.
“No, I mean what did you do that night. After dinner with my parents.”
“I… nothing,” Tweek squeaked. “I did nothing.”
“Okay,” Craig said, and Tweek almost stepped into the room, almost closed the door behind him, but then Craig continued. “So your cheating on me.”
“What?!” Tweek sputtered. “I- what?!”
“I don’t know what else I’m supposed to think,” Craig pointed out. “You’re lying to me, and I even gave you a chance to explain, so it must be pretty fucking bad, right?”
“I’ve never cheated on you, Craig!” Tweek exclaimed, barely managing to keep up with the developments of the accusation.
“But you spent the night with Kenny Christmas Eve,” Craig said bluntly. “And you lied to me about it. Repeatedly.”
“I didn’t spend the night with him- I didn’t lie! I just… omitted.” Tweek tried to defend himself, but it sounded lame even to him. “I never cheated on you. Never.”
“Fine, maybe you didn’t. But you kinda wish you did, don’t you?” Craig pressed. He wouldn’t even look at Tweek. He just sat there on the couch, head in his hands, hunched over and defeated looking. “You’re holding out for him still, right?”
“No!” Tweek exclaimed, offended.
“I get it now, dude. That’s why you’re pissed at me over some guy I barely noticed… that’s why you’re so convinced I’m looking to move and meet someone new… it’s just fucking, projection. That’s what you want. You’re holding out for someone else.”
“No!” Tweek shouted, frantic now. “You’re wrong, Craig. It’s not like that at all. I was never hung up on him!”
“Just tell me the truth, Tweek. I’m not stupid. I know you weren’t totally over him when we got together. I thought we had something better than that now, that you were with me on it, but I guess I was just lying to myself.”
“I am telling you the truth!” Tweek yelled, pulling his hair. “I was never not over him! I was… I was struggling with it, you’re right.”
“Finally,” Craig huffed an unamused chuckle.
“It was never about him though, it was… it was me-“
“Oh, it’s not you it’s me,” Craig mocked in a nasty tone.
“It was about how it made me feel about myself!” Tweek finished with a great sob.
“Then why do you keep lying to me about it,” Craig asked cooly.
“Because I didn’t want to tell you I was depressed and lonely and I went over there and got drunk and high, and passed out on his couch. You- you can’t even act like you’ve never done that yourself, man.”
“That was before we started dating, Tweek,” Craig retorted. “I would never not tell you where I was going to be for the night now. I don’t know why I’m supposed to feel better that you’re partying with him and blacking out-”
“Passing out, it’s different,” Tweek grumbled.
“-and lying to me about it-“ Craig continued pointedly.
“Oh my god, Craig, he’s just my friend!” Tweek straight up yelled, and stomped his foot for good measure. “Sorry for trying to protect my reputation in front of you because I care what you think about me, I guess.”
Tweek had enough. He stormed through the bedroom door and slammed it behind him.
“Where are you going?” Craig yelled after him, and Tweek almost giggled at the nonsensical obviousness of the question.
“You’re being unreasonable and I’m like, deliriously tired, man!” Tweek spat back. “I can’t fucking do this with you right now, I need to sleep so I can think straight! You’ve been yelling at me for two entire days now!”
Craig burst through the door, eyes blazing. “Oh, yeah, fine. I’ve been yelling at you for two days. You know what? You’re right. We both need a break for a little while.”
Tweek gaped as Craig started stuffing clothes into a bag. “What are you doing?”
“Giving us a break,” Craig spat back.
“What do you mean ‘a break’?”
“I’m going home for a while,” Craig said. “I don’t know. That’s all I’m saying. I’ll leave.”
“Oh no, you shouldn’t have to leave,” Tweek laid on the sarcasm thick. “It’s your apartment too, Craig. I’ll leave.”
“Oh, what, and go to Kenny’s?”
“Yes, Craig!” Tweek spat back, his fury matching the fire in Craig’s eyes. “He’s my only fucking friend around here! I’m allowed to have fucking friends!”
“Yeah, cute,” Craig snorted. “If only it weren’t for the fucking part.”
“I didn’t cheat on you, you asshole!” Tweek screamed.
Craig rolled his eyes and slung his bag over his shoulder. “Yeah. Alright. I’ll talk to you later, I guess.”
Tweek puffed up and actually shoved Craig aside so he could get through the doorway first. “Oh, no, I’m leaving, Craig. Make yourself at home. I don’t want to- make you uncomfortable or anything. Don’t want to ruin your weekend.”
Tweek grabbed his keys and wallet on the way out the door, Craig trailing behind, his anger only growing as he realized Tweek really was going to go straight to Kenny with their problems. He still tried to be the voice of reason one last time, though. That’s what he told himself, anyway, but later he’d realize there was a part of him that just desperately didn’t want Tweek to go see Kenny right then.
“Tweek, don’t. Please. Just, go sleep, okay? Call me tomorrow and-“
Tweek slammed the door in his face, so hard and so suddenly that Craig had to jump back and still clipped the tip of his nose against wood as the latch caught. Craig closed his eyes and slowly leaned his forehead against the door. He exhaled, then stayed like that, excruciatingly frustrated, angry and upset, silent behind the self imposed darkness until he judged Tweek would be out of sight and he could leave, unseen.