Archive of Our Own ^beta

The first thing Dazai notices when he rouses from his sleep is the softness of the bed he’s sleeping on. His bed isn’t even close to being as soft as the bed he’s on right now. The sheets feel like they're satin– definitely nothing like Dazai’s thin, worn-out bed sheets that even have obvious holes in them.

The second thing he notices is the temperature. The room seems cold which Dazai assumes to be caused by the air conditioner that he can faintly hear. He recalls that the air conditioner in his room broke down last week, and he has yet to call someone to fix it.

Lastly, he feels something tickling against his neck, and another something that’s draped on top of his stomach. He feels warmth from something, no, someone , next to him. Although Dazai has a roommate, Sigma would rather get run over by a ten wheeler truck sixty times than sleep next to him. So no, the person next to him can’t be his roommate Sigma.

Dazai stays calm as he slowly opens his eyes, blinking the sleepiness away. The first thing he sees is a nest of fiery red hair. Dazai immediately relaxes when he puts together the situation he’s in: he’s at Chuuya’s apartment, in his bed specifically, and Chuuya is sleeping soundly next to him. He remembers that they fucked last night, and he must’ve fell asleep after that.

He cranes his neck to check the time on the digital alarm clock Chuuya has on his bedside table. It’s half past five in the morning. Dazai must’ve been really tired last night because he never stays over and sleeps with Chuuya — like literally just sleep with him. He usually gets dressed and goes on his merry way back to his own apartment, because he and Chuuya are just fuck buddies. That’s it. Fuck buddies don’t cuddle or sleep together.

But now Dazai has apparently messed up. He fell asleep and they were probably cuddling too with how Chuuya has his arm draped on Dazai’s stomach and his head against Dazai’s heart. Dazai sighs, turning his head to stare at the ceiling. It’s also Chuuya’s fault for not kicking Dazai out when he fell asleep. He should have pushed Dazai off the bed and yelled at him to go, but he didn’t. So technically this is Chuuya’s fault.

Dazai tries to pull away from Chuuya, which might have caused the redhead to wake up. He groans softly, removing his arm from Dazai as he turns into another position. Without Chuuya’s arm, Dazai creates a distance between him and Chuuya and sits up. Chuuya stretches his arms, almost hitting Dazai in the face.

Chuuya’s eyes flutter open. When Chuuya looks up at him, Dazai is ready to start defending himself, blame everything on Chuuya, and come to an agreement that this will never happen again, but he doesn’t expect Chuuya to hoist himself up to come face to face with Dazai and give him a kiss.

It was just a peck on the lips. Before Dazai could even move, Chuuya was already pulling away, looking at Dazai with an expression that he can’t even fathom to describe. Chuuya presses his elbow against the bed and his cheek against his palm, his head tilted with a soft smile on his face as he looks directly at Dazai. “Good morning.”

Like the unexpected kiss and morning greeting wasn’t enough, the sight in front of Dazai is enough to knock the air out of his lungs. Chuuya has always been beautiful, anyone with eyes could see that, but just like this— his bright wavy hair disheveled, faint pillow marks on one side of his cheek, his eyes still a bit drowsy-looking, and the cute freckles scattered across the bridge of his nose evident even in the dim room. The comforter covering him fell to his waist when he hoisted himself up, revealing Chuuya in an oversized shirt— said shirt was falling off from one side of Chuuya’s shoulder, revealing his collarbone and some hickeys Dazai left on him last night. 

It’s just Chuuya’s morning look, nothing special, but Dazai thinks he has never seen a sight as beautiful as the one he’s looking at right now. Chuuya is breathtaking. A sight for sore eyes — like something straight out of Dazai’s dreams. He actually wouldn’t mind waking up to the sight of this every morning.

Dazai freezes as the thought registers in his mind fully. The look on his face must be incredulous, because the smile melts off of Chuuya’s lips and his eyebrows furrow instead. “What?”

Dazai clears his throat. “Nothing! I was just thinking about how I shouldn’t be here and that I should definitely go.”

He hurries to get off the bed, picking up his clothes on the floor and putting them on quickly. He starts walking towards the door as he puts on his shirt. “Till next time, slug! I’m off!” He says as he hurries out of the bedroom and Chuuya’s apartment, not bothering to even turn around and look at Chuuya once.

Thankfully Dazai’s apartment is only ten minutes away from Chuuya’s so he gets home in one piece even though his mind is in a mess. As soon as he walks in, Sigma is walking out of the kitchen with a cup of coffee in their hand. They stop and look at Dazai. “Your shirt is inside-out.” 

Dazai looks down at his shirt before he looks back up at Sigma. “Why are you even up already? It’s barely six in the morning.”

“I have a test at eight and was planning to scan my notes one last time.” Sigma plops down on the sofa and puts their coffee on the round table in front of them, right next to a pile of printed handouts. “And where did you come from? You’re home… early.” 

“Nowhere important,” Dazai waves his hand nonchalantly as he walks over towards his roommate, snatching the coffee on the table.

“Hey! I needed that!” Sigma frowns. 

Dazai makes a show of slurping the coffee. Sigma rolls their eyes and gets up to head back into the kitchen and grab themselves another cup. Dazai follows them.

“Couldn’t you have at least drank coffee at Chuuya’s before you left?”

Dazai almost spits out the coffee he was drinking. “And what makes you think I was at Chuuya’s?”

Sigma turns around to face him, their eyebrow raised. “Where else would you be?”

“Wha— well, many places! I could’ve fallen asleep at the library, or stayed in a coffee shop to finish an essay due in a few days, or at a bar, or even at a club.”

“So you weren’t at Chuuya’s?”

Dazai narrows his eyes at them. “I was, but that’s not the point! Why would you narrow down my location to only Chuuya’s place?”

Sigma wrinkles their nose before turning back their attention to the coffee machine. “Why are you acting weird? Of course I’d assume you’d be at Chuuya’s place. From your pathetic look right now it’s obvious what you did last night, and who else would you be with than Chuuya?”

Dazai puts down his coffee on the counter before he chuckles in disbelief. “Other people, obviously? Chuuya and I aren’t exclusive.”

Sigma turns to face him again so fast that some of the coffee they poured in the mug spills. “You and Chuuya aren’t exclusive?”

“No?”

Sigma looks genuinely surprised by this information. “Huh. Could’ve fooled me.” 

Dazai’s eyebrows furrow before he turns around to head to his room. “I’m gonna go and get some more sleep.”

“The coffee you took from me isn’t even halfway finished!” Sigma calls out to him. “You’re buying the creamer next time, you wasteful asshole!”

Dazai just ignores his roommate and closes the door to his room. He drops onto his bed and spreads out his arms while staring at his popcorn painted ceiling. The embarrassing thought he had earlier resurfaces into his mind, making him groan and cover his eyes with one arm. 

Not only did he fall asleep next to Chuuya after sex, but he actually liked it — considering he slept till the morning — and not only that, but he entertained the idea of waking up next to Chuuya every day. And then, he freaked out and took off without even sparing Chuuya a glance.

Dazai ruined it. There’s no way he didn’t. He and Chuuya have been sleeping together for almost a year now, and Dazai ruined it all because his stupid brain short circuited seeing Chuuya — beautiful, gorgeous, ethereal Chuuya — first thing in the morning.

It shouldn’t even be a big deal. It’s not like they specifically talked about being exclusive, so Dazai can just look for another lay. But now as Dazai thinks about it, he hasn’t slept with anyone else ever since he started sleeping with Chuuya. He didn’t think it was necessary since Chuuya is already a great partner in bed, better than all the other partners Dazai had before him if he was being honest. But still, they weren’t exclusive. 

Did Chuuya sleep with someone else in the eleven months they’ve been sleeping together? Dazai thinks he hasn’t. Chuuya would probably mention it if he did, for safe sex purposes. Plus, Dazai knows he himself is just as great in bed. Chuuya’s very vocal about it sometimes that it even strokes Dazai's ego.

Though the mere thought of Chuuya sleeping with someone else does make Dazai’s gut clench. He squeezes his eyes shut as he tries to gaslight himself into thinking that he’s not jealous. Of course he’s not. It’s ridiculous. Why would he be jealous? He and Chuuya aren’t even exclusive. Chuuya can do whatever the fuck he wants and Dazai can do whatever he wants as well.

Dazai doesn’t even realize that he starts getting sleepy and falls asleep.

Dazai has never been thankful for a heavy workload like he is now. 

He’s been bombarded with a ton of narrative essays, book reports, and editing all due in about two weeks that he doesn’t even have time to think about the recent embarrassment that he put himself into. 

Chuuya also didn’t contact him even after a few days Dazai ran off on him. He assumed Chuuya was mad at him, but after another two days, he received a text from Chuuya saying he left his watch at his apartment. His text wasn’t anything unusual, with the usual Oi! at the beginning of his text. Dazai decided to test the waters and reply with something annoying like: Chuuya better not sell it! 

Chuuya replied with a: like someone would buy a piece of crap you own. Very Chuuya of him, if someone were to ask Dazai. So he didn’t seem mad at all. Dazai wouldn’t admit it out loud, but he felt relieved.

They don’t text anymore after that, nor do they see each other. Chuuya must be just as busy as Dazai, since they’re both seniors after all and senior year in university is no joke. It’s also a blessing that Dazai rarely ever runs into Chuuya on campus because the natural sciences building is far from Dazai's major’s building, the literature building.

Dazai finishes one essay for his literary criticism class and half of his report for his medieval literature class when he officially drains all his energy for the day. He sprawls his upper body across the table, his chin connecting with it. “I’m exhausted! I need a drink.”

“I have a bottled water in my bag,” Yosano Akiko mumbles from across him, her eyes not even leaving the page of the thick medical textbook she’s reading. Yosano has been Dazai’s friend since middle school, but she doesn’t go to Yokohama National University just like Dazai since the medical course she wanted wasn’t offered there. Instead, she goes to Yokohama City University, but they still remain friends and manage to meet each other every once in a while since they’re only thirty minutes away from each other. 

“You know that’s not what I mean, Akiko!” Dazai whines.

Yosano sighs, finally looking up from the textbook to look at Dazai. “Don’t you have like two more essays and a report to finish?”

“Yes.”

“So no drinks for you.”

Dazai frowns. “As much as I’m thankful to these workloads for getting my mind off awful things, they’re still so tiring.”

Yosano puts her elbow on the table and rests her cheek against her palm. “Awful things like jumping into the Tsurumi River?”

“What? No, that’s not awful at all!” Dazai shakes his head, which has Yosano rolling her eyes. “I meant other horrible stuff.”

“Like?”

“Do I really have to tell you?”

“Hey, you were the one that brought it up. Plus, now I’m intrigued and can’t get back into studying until I get to hear about this awful thought of yours so spit it out.”

“Fine,” Dazai grumbles. “It’s about Chuuya.”

Yosano raises an eyebrow. “What about him?”

“Did you know people thought we were exclusive?” 

“Well, aren’t you?”

Dazai sits up straight, gasping overdramatically that the people studying at the table next to them give him annoyed glares that he pointedly ignores. “Akiko! Not you too!”

“Don’t ‘ not you too’ me! You’re lying to me if you tell me right now you and Chuuya aren’t exclusive.” 

“Do I look like a liar to you?”

Yosano gives him a flat look.

“Fine, I may look like the biggest liar you’ve ever met, but I wouldn’t lie about this. Chuuya and I never agreed to be exclusive.”

“Oh my god,” Yosano tucks her hair behind her ear. “All this time I thought you were exclusive.”

“Why does literally everyone think that?”

“Oh come on, Dazai, you’re a genius. You know why.”

“Akiko, I wouldn’t be asking if I didn’t know, alright?”

Yosano just chuckles, like she finds this whole conversation amusing. “Okay. Have you fucked anyone else since you slept with Chuuya?”

“No.”

“How about Chuuya?”

Dazai shifts in his shift before shrugging. “I don’t know. Plus, it’s none of my business.”

“Huh, someone sounds bitter about it.”

Dazai glares at her. “I’m not. It’s just annoying that people think we’re exclusive.”

“Is it really?” Yosano asks. “And what’s wrong about that? You and Chuuya have been getting it on since last year, and you haven’t slept with anyone else since then. So of course people are gonna assume, especially since you slept around a lot before Chuuya.”

“You know what, I suddenly feel motivated to do my essays again!” Dazai exclaims, opening his laptop. “Let’s stop talking now. Go and bury yourself in that thick medical textbook again.”

Yosano laughs but doesn’t say anything else. 

A few days later when Dazai’s workload loosens up a bit, he goes clubbing with Yosano and her friends from YCU. He finally gets the drink he’s been craving for so he goes a bit overboard and gets himself tipsy.

Since the club is near Yosano’s university, Dazai finds himself dancing with a business administration student from YCU. They end up making out against the wall in the dim hallways leading to the bathroom. When the guy asks Dazai if he wants to leave and go to his apartment, Dazai declines before he could even think about it.

The guy looks surprised, like he wasn’t expecting the rejection after their heated makeout session. Dazai throws his head back, scratching his the back of his neck. “I’m with my friend, and I promised I wouldn’t bail on her. Maybe next time?”

The guy looks relieved, and he nods and gives Dazai his number. They part ways, and Dazai crumples the tissue with the number on it and subtly drops it in a trash bin he passes by on the way to Yosano and her friends’ table. 

Dazai plops down on the sofa next to Yosano. He leans his head against the wall and squeezes his eyes shut. Not even a minute later, he feels Yosano elbowing his chest. “Hey, I saw that you know.”

“Congratulations, you have great eyesight.”

“Did it not work out? He keeps throwing longing glances in our direction.”

Dazai opens his eyes and glances at Yosano. “Stop making eye contact with him.”

Yosano chuckles and turns to him. “I’m not! He just looks like he’s really into you. Plus that show you put on just now was kinda bold.”

“I’m just not in the mood. I still have headaches because of those back to back essays I had to do.”

It’s a lie that he knows Yosano will see through easily, but thankfully she doesn’t call him out on his bullshit. Dazai really doesn’t want to sound pathetic when he tells her that kissing the guy actually felt really weird, since apparently he also hasn’t kissed anyone else since he and Chuuya started sleeping together.

A few days later, a friend in his major throws a birthday party, and Dazai ends up kissing a girl, but unlike at the club, Dazai backs away before they could take it further into a heavy makeout session. He makes up some excuse and decides to leave the party early, since he already lost his party spirit.

He spends the rest of the night in his room, finishing the last of his pending workloads. As he emails his essay to his professor, he leans back against his desk chair and picks up his phone, opening his conversation with Chuuya.

Their last text had still been about Dazai’s watch that he left at Chuuya’s apartment. It’s not unusual for them to not contact each other for weeks, especially when they’re both busy, but it doesn’t mean Dazai doesn’t miss Chuuya. 

He and Chuuya were friends first before they decided to add with -with benefits to the title. They met during their freshman year, when they both signed up for the drama club. Chuuya was in three other clubs at that time since he apparently liked extra-curricular activities so much and only joined the drama club because one of his friends, Lippmann, was in it too.

They aren’t in the drama club anymore since they didn’t really take it seriously. Dazai only joined the club since he was required to join one during freshman year, and Chuuya didn’t even like acting. Now, Dazai isn’t in any clubs but Chuuya is still in two: the karate club and dance club. How he manages to juggle it along with his academics, Dazai has no idea.

They started hooking up in their third year during one of the student get-togethers that happens when every end of the semester. They were walking home together after the boring get-together since their apartments are along the same way. They reached Chuuya’s apartment first, Chuuya offered if he wanted to come in, and the next thing led to another. 

They were both sexually deprived because of finals and couldn’t find a good lay at the get-together— that was both their reasoning for their sudden one night stand.

But then it happened again, and again, and again.

They didn’t really talk about it— no rules or anything. It just kept happening, and they just let it, until the awkwardness just completely vanished. They usually do it at Chuuya’s apartment since Chuuya lives alone, so all Dazai had to do to not make things weird was leave as soon as it was over.

But he messed up a month ago. He fell asleep and stayed the night, and then he had weird thoughts about waking up next to Chuuya in his every waking moment when Chuuya gave him a good morning kiss.

Dazai puts down his phone and sighs. He decides that he’ll deal with it tomorrow.

Dazai is leaning against the wall outside the dance club’s studio, his hands in the pocket of slacks. He’s wearing a black turtleneck long-sleeved shirt and brown slacks, his hair tucked behind his ear on one side. 

He takes out his phone from his pocket to check on time: one minute till seven in the evening. According to Chuuya’s schedule that Dazai has memorized (because it’s convenient to memorize your fuck buddy’s schedule so you know when they are free. Chuuya also has his schedule memorized so it’s not a big deal), the dance club has meet up sessions every Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday on weekdays from 4:30PM to 7PM. Since it’s Friday, Chuuya should be coming out of the studio any minute now.

Dazai puts back his phone in his pocket when the door of the studio opens. A few of the club members start leaving the studio, some of them giving him glances. He gives them a small smile.

Dazai straightens up when Chuuya finally steps out of the studio. His hair is tied in a low ponytail, and he’s wearing an army-green muscle tee, black cargo pants, and white Nike Air Force 1’s with his duffle bag hanging on his shoulder. He doesn’t notice Dazai immediately because he’s busy looking at his phone, so Dazai takes a step forward and gently grabs Chuuya’s shoulder to get his attention.

Chuuya looks up immediately, eyebrows furrowed, but he immediately relaxes when he sees Dazai. “Dazai?”

Dazai grins, taking a step back. “Hey.”

“I was about to text you,” Chuuya waves his phone in front of Dazai where Dazai sees their conversation opened. 

“It’s a good thing that I can read your pea-sized brain then, because I’m right here before you could even hit send.”

Chuuya rolls his eyes, but a small smile is plastered on his lips. Dazai expected their meeting to be a little awkward after that stunt he did a month ago, but Chuuya is acting like his usual self. Maybe he honest to god doesn’t care and only Dazai is making a big deal out of it.

“Can we stop by the nearby McDonald’s first? I’m starving.” Chuuya asks as they start walking out of the campus.

Dazai shrugs. “Why not. Nothing like greasy American food after a tiring dance practice.”

Chuuya only snorts. “I’ll take anything I can put in my stomach, and McDonald’s is the nearest option.”

The fast food restaurant was filled with people when they arrived. It’s around dinner time already, so it’s not surprising. Chuuya decides to take his order to-go so they don’t have to linger in the restaurant any longer. He orders a Teriyaki McBurger and curly fries, and Dazai is the designated fries holder as they continue their walk to Chuuya’s apartment while Chuuya is busy eating his burger. 

“You’re eating like it’s your last day alive, and you didn’t buy drinks with your meal too. What if you choke? You can’t go before me, Chuuya!” 

Chuuya only elbows him in the ribs as he swallows down the food in his mouth. “I have my water bottle in my bag, asshole.”

“Well then hurry up with that burger and eat your curly fries before I drop this and pretend it was an accident.”

“Ugh, I hate you.” Chuuya says as he swallows the last bite of his burger and snatches his fries away from Dazai’s grip. 

“So,” Dazai puts his hands in his slacks. “What have you been up to? We’ve both been quite busy, huh?”

“Yeah, they weren’t kidding when they said your fourth year in college is like a free trial in hell.”

Dazai chuckles. “What course subject is being a pain in your ass?”

“All of them,” Chuuya wrinkles his nose. “Though if I had to pick the worst one, it’s probably social sciences. I’m a physics major in my last year, what do I still need social sciences for?”

“For the credits.”

“I know it’s for the credits!” Chuuya says, glaring at him. “Still. It’s such a pain in the ass, like a sore thumb sticking out from all my other subjects. Plus, the professor keeps giving out a lot of reading assignments, literature reviews, essays… it’s driving me crazy. I hate writing essays!”

Dazai suppresses a smile as Chuuya continues on with his rant until what’s left of the fries he has forgotten becomes soggy. He throws them in a trash bin they pass by so he can continue ranting with hand gestures.

“Do you still have to take the course next semester?” Dazai asks as Chuuya finishes with his rant.

Chuuya’s shoulders slump. “Yeah.”

Dazai pats Chuuya’s head. “Don’t worry, I’ll help you out with your essays.”

“You better,” Chuuya mumbles, glancing at Dazai. “How about you? What’s gotten you busy?”

Dazai scratches the back of his head. “Ah, well, a lot of things. Essays, reports, reviews— the such. Next semester I’ll be focusing on making my thesis, so this semester is filled with all the smaller workloads, though I wouldn’t call them small though if they’re all due at the same time.”

Chuuya laughs. “God, essays are so annoying. I can’t see myself making tons of them.”

“You’re just horrible with words.”

“And you’re horrible at math!”

“We both know I’m not.”

“You’re so fucking annoying.”

Once they reach Chuuya’s apartment, they take off their shoes by the genkan and all of a sudden they’re kissing. Chuuya’s duffel bag is on the floor, his arms wrapped around Dazai’s neck while Dazai’s own hands are resting on Chuuya’s waist as he eagerly kisses Chuuya back.

They keep kissing and kissing until Chuuya pulls away so they can catch their breaths. He leans away a little to get a good look of Dazai’s face. “I missed you.”

Dazai stiffens. It’s not uncommon for them to be verbal about how they missed each other, especially during the heat of the moment, so Dazai shouldn’t even be overthinking it. Dazai has also told Chuuya he missed him when they haven’t seen each other in a while, but he’s always thought of it in a sexual kind of way. Something like, I missed sleeping with you. 

But now, hearing Chuuya say it, Dazai feels his heart flutter. He missed Chuuya too, and not just in a I-missed-sleeping-with-you kind of way, but really missed him and his presence.

“Me too,” he says after a while. 

Chuuya smiles before he starts pulling Dazai closer for another kiss, but Dazai pulls away before their lips could even touch. “Chuuya, wait.”

Chuuya stops just a few inches away, their lips touching at the slight movement. “Hmm?”

“I kissed two other people when we hadn't seen each other this month.”

Chuuya doesn’t move away instantly. Instead, his arms around Dazai’s neck loosens, and then he takes a step back, and another, and another, until his arms are sliding off Dazai's shoulders and are instead folded against his chest as he stands in front of Dazai. “Did nobody ever tell you not to talk about your rendezvous with other people when you’re about to fuck someone?”

“I didn’t have any ‘rendezvous’ with them,” Dazai says defensively, adding air quotes. “Just a makeout session, maybe.”

“So you didn’t have sex with someone else.”

“Yes— I mean yes, no, I didn’t.”

Chuuya narrows his eyes. “And I’m the one horrible with words.” He murmurs. “Okay, so you made out with someone else.”

“Yes.”

“And you are telling me this because?”

Dazai cringes. “Because… I feel like I have to?” 

Chuuya is looking at him like he just grew another head. 

Dazai takes a deep breath. “I have a question. Don’t laugh.”

“Alright.”

“If you laugh I’ll post your baby photo with chocolate all over your mouth on my Instagram story.”

“Blackmail? Really? What are you, twelve?” Chuuya asks in a bored tone. “Just ask already!”

“Fine!” Dazai grits out. “Are we exclusive? Do you think we’re exclusive?”

Chuuya blinks at him, like he wasn’t expecting the question. He doesn’t look like he’s about to laugh, though. Thank God. Because he looks cute in that baby photo of his that Dazai was talking about. People will probably love it. 

“Sexually exclusive?”

“Obviously.”

“I mean… we didn’t really talk about it. So I didn’t make any assumptions that we were exclusive,” Chuuya says. “Did you?”

“I didn’t think we were exclusive either,” Dazai says bluntly. “But I haven't slept with anyone else since I started sleeping with you.”

For a second Chuuya looks relieved, but the expression disappears just as fast. “Okay. I haven’t either.”

“Alright,” Dazai says, clasping his hands together. “Good to know we were both on the same page—”

“Wait, wait,” Chuuya cuts in. “Since we’re talking about it, do you think we should be sexually exclusive? I mean, we both haven’t slept with anyone else for almost a year. It’s better to be clear.”

Dazai shrugs. “Alright.”

“Really?”

“What change will it make?” Dazai says. “Aside from the fact that we did in fact talk about it and agreed to be exclusive.”

“Right. You’re right.” Chuuya nods. “So we’re exclusive. Sexually exclusive, until one of us calls it off.”

“Yes, yes,” Dazai answers, pulling Chuuya by the waist. “Should we celebrate?”

Chuuya squints his eyes at Dazai. “One more thing.”

“You’re so talkative, Chuuya.” 

“You brought this up!” He punches Dazai on the shoulder, eliciting an ow! from the victim. “No running off on me in the morning, Osamu.”

Dazai freezes. Chuuya must’ve noticed, because he sighs. “You don’t need to make it weird, you know? You got tired after sex and fell asleep, so what? That’s completely normal. It wouldn’t kill you to just stay the night.”

But getting completely mesmerized by the way you look in the morning and proceeding to think about waking up next to you every single day isn’t as normal, is it? Dazai thinks, but instead he just gives Chuuya a lazy nod as he sneaks his hand into Chuuya’s muscle tee and draws circles on his bare hip with his thumb.

“I’m serious.” Chuuya says. “I’m not asking you to stay the night every time we have sex. Only when you’re too tired or accidentally fall asleep.”

“Yes, yes, I get that. No being weird the morning after.”

“Okay, good.” Chuuya sayys. He cups Dazai’s cheeks with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “ Now , we can celebrate.”

Dazai grins. “I like the sound of that,” he whispers before capturing Chuuya’s lips with his.

Dazai steps into his apartment at one in the morning. Thankfully he wasn't that tired that he could still walk himself home and not stay the night at Chuuya’s. He has an 8AM class too, so it would be best if he headed home.

His roommate Sigma is sitting on the sofa, a laptop perched on their lap. They look up from the laptop as Dazai steps in. 

“Why are you still in the living room? Are you that eager to always watch me do my walk of shame?” Dazai shakes his head. “Anyway, I have an announcement.”

“I don’t care.” 

Dazai sits down next to Sigma. “Don’t be like that! Be a supportive roommate.”

Sigma turns to face him. “If I indulge you will you go to your room and leave me alone?”

“With pleasure.”

“Fine. What is it?”

“Chuuya and I are officially exclusive.”

Sigma raises both their eyebrows. “Oh, you’re dating? Fucking finally.”

“No! What is wrong with you? Who said anything about dating? I meant sexually exclusive.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well you remember that time I came home at six in the morning and you assumed I was at Chuuya’s place because you thought we were exclusive? Well we weren’t at that time. And then we talked about it earlier, and we agreed to be sexually exclusive. We won’t have any other sexual partners, in short.”

Sigma just blinks at him before they shake their head and turn back their attention to the laptop screen. Dazai pouts. “Oh come on, you’re not even happy for me?”

Sigma just straight up ignores him and continues watching whatever series is playing on their laptop. Dazai gets up from the sofa. “You won’t be hearing any yippies and wahoos from me when you tell me something great about your love life.” He says pettily as he walks into his room.

“So what you just told me was your love life?” He hears Sigma say before he could even close the door. “Okay…”

Dazai slams the door and hears Sigma laughing from the living room. 

Spring semester in Yokohama National University is coming to an end in a few more days.

The remaining week Dazai had left for spring semester wasn’t bad. His workload wasn’t as heavy as it was during finals season; all he had to do was finish the unfinished activities he had lined up and he’d be cleared out for the semester. He’s not too worried about his grades, either. It’s no secret to anyone that Dazai is a natural genius, especially to his professors. He could purposely slack off and yet he’d still pass one of the best essays his professors have ever read.

Though Dazai was a prominent procrastinator, he decided to pass all his activities earlier so he could help out Chuuya with his own academic activities. Chuuya was an intelligent student himself, one of the top students in his major even, but essay writing and narrative reports were never his forte.

“Try not to be too repetitive on this paragraph,” Dazai comments. He’s standing behind Chuuya and leaning over his shoulder to get a good read of the essay Chuuya has typed down on his MacBook while sitting on one of the high stools of the island counter in his kitchen.

“It’s still repetitive?” Chuuya frowns. “But I already changed some of the words into their synonyms!”

“Yes, I can clearly see that. See, even though you use a different word, the meaning of the word is still the same, is it not? It is a synonym, after all.”

“I know what a synonym is. I learned it in third grade, fucker.”

“What I’m trying to say is even though you used a synonym, the sentences still have the same meaning. So it’s still repetitive, like you’re going around in circles.”

Chuuya groans, pressing the heels of his hands against his eyes. “You’re even worse than my social sciences professor!”

Dazai places a hand on his heart in mock offense. “When I’m only trying to help you? And I was kind enough to not even point out how you spelled ‘physicalism’ wrong!”

“That’s only a typo!”

Dazai chuckles and decides to lean against the counter to get a good look at a frustrated Chuuya. As much as it is cathartic for Dazai to keep annoying Chuuya, his heart isn’t that tainted to keep pushing Chuuya’s buttons when he’s obviously about to pop a vessel writing his essay that’s due tomorrow.

“You already discussed three importance of the relationship between quantum sciences and social sciences. Instead of trying to add more, how about you try to broaden each one? You did it with the first one, do it with the other two as well.” Dazai twists a bit to face the laptop. “See, your fourth key point is almost the same as your third one so just erase that one. Instead of making it a separate key point, combine it with the third one so you’ll be broadening your argument instead of being repetitive.”

Chuuya nods. “Okay, yes. You’re right. So I’m going to erase this fourth key point?”

“Yes, and then add a better argument to this one…”

It takes them another few hours, but they go about it without messing around in between. Dazai could see how tired Chuuya was already, so he doesn’t try to lengthen the time they’re spending on the essay. Dazai proofreads Chuuya’s essay when he finishes it, tells him it's all good, and Chuuya doesn’t hesitate to email it to his professor. 

“Oh my god, fucking finally,” Chuuya says as he closes his laptop. He checks the time on his wrist watch and suddenly he straightens up in his seat. “It’s two in the morning? I didn’t even notice.”

Dazai nods and stretches his arms. “Uh-huh.”

“Shit, sorry for keeping you.” Chuuya scratches the back of his head. “You should stay the night.”

Dazai freezes, but only for a millisecond as he brings his arms back down. “It’s not even that late. I can go home just fine.”

Chuuya shrugs. “Yeah, but it’s not like you haven’t stayed over before.”

It’s true. Ever since they became ‘sexually exclusive’, Dazai stayed the night twice. He didn’t freak out like his first time because he did intend to stay during the other two times, though his traitorous heart still flutters at the sight of Chuuya in the morning. Apparently Chuuya doesn’t get any uglier even after Dazai has seen him first thing in the morning thrice now. Shocking.

But in those three times he stayed, it was all after they had sex. They definitely did not fuck today. He’ll simply be staying the night for no reason.

“Fine, but only if Chuuya makes breakfast.” is what he says even though he spent a few seconds reasoning out in his head if he should stay or not.

Chuuya rolls his eyes, but there’s a smile playing on his lips. “Fine. Whatever.” 

Chuuya lets him borrow a pair of sweatpants and an oversized shirt. As he changes, Dazai decides to just keep his bandages on. He’s so used to them wrapped around his skin that he doesn’t feel uncomfortable sleeping with them on. 

As he steps out of the bathroom, Chuuya is already on bed, his eyes closed. Dazai slowly walks over, looming over a sleeping Chuuya. He can’t help but chuckle. “Huh, who knew it only took an essay in social sciences to knock you down in seconds.”

Chuuya doesn’t respond, obviously already on his merry way to dreamland. His mouth is a little open, and one of his arms is stretched out on the space where Dazai will be laying. Dazai slowly gets into bed, trying to push away Chuuya’s arm so he doesn’t lay on it.

As soon as Dazai’s tucked in, Chuuya stretches out his arm again on top of Dazai’s chest, with his leg also on top of Dazai’s. 

“Bed hog.” Dazai mumbles, fondness laced in his voice. He buries his nose in Chuuya’s hair and plants a kiss on top of his head before closing his eyes and drifting to sleep.

When Dazai wakes up the next morning, he feels a breath tickling the back of his neck and warmth pressed against his back. He slowly opens his eyes and realizes he’s facing away from Chuuya, who is spooning him from behind.

Dazai lazily reaches out for his phone to check the time, but a message from Odasaku catches his attention instead. The message states that he and Ango are in Yokohama and if Dazai would like to have breakfast with them. Dazai texts back that he would love to, and he’d just meet them at the breakfast diner they frequent.

He carefully tries to wiggle out of Chuuya’s embrace, not wanting to wake him up. He successfully gets out of bed and changes back into his own clothes last night. He’s in the middle of buttoning his pants when Chuuya stirs from his sleep, lifting his head a little and blinking his eyes open. “Osamu?”

“Hey,” Dazai answers, pushing his hair back with his fingers. “You should get some more sleep, you seemed exhausted from that essay last night.”

“You’re leaving?” Chuuya slurs. “But I haven’t even made breakfast yet…” 

Dazai chuckles. “It’s fine, slug.”

Chuuya drops his head back onto the pillows. “But you said you’d only stay if I made you breakfast.”

“Then you owe me one breakfast. Now, go back to sleep.”

“Okay,” Chuuya mumbles, his eyes already closing. “I hate owing you anything though.”

Dazai shakes his head in amusement, heading towards the door of the bedroom. “I’m leaving.”

Chuuya only hums in reply. 

Dazai decides to stop by his own apartment first to freshen up. He makes sure not to take too long considering Odasaku and Ango are already at the breakfast diner waiting for him. He takes a quick shower, changes into fresh bandages and clothes, and he’s out of the apartment like he wasn’t even there.

As he steps into the diner, he immediately sees his two friends by the counter. Odasaku notices him first, since Ango has his back facing the entrance. Dazai waves as he walks towards them, making sure to squeeze himself in the middle stool. Ango only shakes his head before he decides to adjust seats.

“This is an odd surprise!” Dazai says, propping his elbow on the counter. “I thought it was me who was going to visit you guys in Tokyo?”

Dazai met Oda Sakunosuke and Sakaguchi Ango when he was a freshman in YNU and the two were seniors. He first met Oda, and then Oda introduced him to Ango. Even though Odasaku and Ango have already graduated and are now working in Tokyo, Dazai still keeps in touch with them from time to time. Infact, he was planning to spend his four-day spring break next week in Tokyo with them.

“About that,” Ango pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “Oda and I have some business to attend to in Osaka for two weeks, so your visit will have to wait.”

“And we decided to visit you instead before we left,” Odasaku adds, shrugging.

Dazai pouts. “Well that’s no fun! What am I supposed to do for my spring break then?” 

“I’m sure you’ll think of something. How about you get a head start for your thesis?”

Dazai wrinkles his nose. “That’s the worst suggestion I’ve ever heard, Ango.”

“You can hang out with your other friends.” Odasaku suggests lightly.

“Oh, I know! How about I go with you guys to Osaka?”

“You can’t, it’s work related business.” Ango answers, shaking his head. 

“Fine, whatever. I’ll think of something.” Dazai grumbles. He waves over the waitress, flashing her a dashing smile as he recites his order. She blushes before writing his order down and heading into the kitchen.

“What took you so long to come here, anyway?” Odasaku asks nonchalantly as he picks up a piece of tofu from his miso soup with his chopsticks. 

“Ah, I was at Chuuya’s.” 

Ango freezes before the tamagoyaki between his chopsticks reaches his mouth. “You mean Nakahara Chuuya?”

“Yup!”

“He is your partner, right?” Odasaku asks.

“Partner in bed, yes,” Dazai answers, nodding. “Fuck buddy, friend with benefits— whatever they call it these days.”

“You’re still with him?” Ango blinks, like he can’t believe it.

“Yes?” Dazai’s forehead creases. “Why? What’s wrong with it?”

Ango shakes his head frantically. “Nothing! It’s just unusual for you to settle with one partner.”

“Well I don’t see the point of having any other partners,” Dazai says. “Plus, Chuuya and I decided to be sexually exclusive.”

“Oh wow. You, in a commitment.” Ango says in awe.

Oda grabs his shoulder and squeezes it as he nods approvingly at Dazai. Dazai gives him a confused look. “We’re not committed like that. I’m not his boyfriend or anything, nor is he mine.” He says as he watches the food he ordered being served in front of him. He mouths a thank you to the waitress.

“Since you’re exclusive, why don’t you two just finally date each other?”

“Wha—!” Dazai laughs, throwing his head back as he slaps Ango’s back. “Ango, you’re on a roll today!”

“I agree with Ango, Dazai,” Odasaku adds. “Don’t you like Nakahara?”

Dazai purses his lips. “Alright, now why are all my friends playing cupid for Chuuya and I? First Sigma, and then Akiko, and then you two?”

“Well…”

“Just because Chuuya and I are compatible in bed and decided to be in a monogamous sexual relationship doesn’t mean we should be involved romantically. What is this, the 1800s?” 

“Alright, but what if Nakahara gets himself a boyfriend? Will that be alright with you?”

Dazai looks down at the food on his plate. “Why wouldn’t it be? It’s not like we’re romantically involved or something. He can go on dates or whatever he wants— and if he hits it off with someone, then we’ll be done obviously. We both agreed we can cut off our deal any time, anyway.”

“That seems a little complicated.”

Dazai snorts. “Let’s just drop it. Don’t worry about me or Chuuya, we’re adults.”

Odasaku and Ango give each other glances before finally focusing on finishing their own meals, deciding to drop the topic.

After having breakfast, Dazai accompanies both his friends into YNU since they wanted to visit their alma mater. They go bowling afterwards, and have late lunch before Odasaku and Ango have to board the train back to Tokyo to catch their 7PM flight to Osaka.

Since Dazai finished all his remaining activities earlier, he spends the last few days of his spring semester lounging around in his apartment and sometimes in Chuuya’s apartment. Chuuya’s been less stressed since he completed all his workload for his social sciences class. He also doesn’t need Dazai’s help anymore since he can do all his other schoolworks just fine, but Dazai still likes to show up at Chuuya’s apartment and either bother him or tempt him into bed. Chuuya gets annoyed as usual, yelling at Dazai to leave, but Dazai knows he likes having someone around him while he focuses on his work. 

On the day their semester finally ends, their university conducts the traditional student get-together. Dazai was planning to attend, but Chuuya told him that he’ll be skipping it and Dazai should skip it too and they should just spend the night at Chuuya’s apartment instead. Dazai liked the sound of that, so he easily agreed.

He decides to accompany Sigma at a nearby 7/11 before heading over to Chuuya’s. Sigma is attending the get-together, and Dazai is not, but Dazai still decided to tag along with his roommate since Chuuya’s apartment is within the way to campus anyway.

Dazai is following Sigma like a puppy while Sigma looks for the specific pack of gum they like. Dazai spots a pack of chocolate Hershey’s Kisses at the top of the shelf and grabs it. Sigma turns around and glances at the chocolate in Dazai’s hand. 

Dazai just shrugs. “It’s Chuuya’s favorite chocolate.”

Sigma narrows their eyes. “Right. How sweet of you.” 

After stopping by 7/11, Dazai waves Sigma off as they reach Chuuya's apartment. It’s a five story building, and Chuuya lives on the third floor in a 1LDK. Dazai has always known Chuuya’s family was well off, so it’s no wonder he could afford to live alone in a nice apartment.

Chuuya opens the door for him just after he knocks twice. He looks like he's been home all day, wearing a red deep neck shirt and basketball shorts, his hair sticking out in different directions even though it’s tied in a high ponytail. “About damn time.”

“Ah, good evening Chuuya. You look absolutely astonishing.” Dazai grins, stepping into the apartment.

Chuuya only rolls his eyes, and his eyes zero onto Dazai’s empty hands. “Where’s the wine I asked you to bring? I texted you this morning, remember?”

Dazai’s eyes widened. Shit, he completely forgot. “Well, about that…” He takes out the pack of chocolate Hershey’s in the pocket of coat. “I got these instead!”

Chuuya doesn’t look pleased, but he snatched the chocolate from Dazai anyway. “You’re absolutely useless.” 

Dazai takes off his shoes and follows Chuuya into the living room, hugging him from behind. “Oh come on, at least I didn’t come empty handed!”

“In what lifetime does ‘wine’ translate to ‘chocolate’?!”

Dazai pouts, resting his chin on Chuuya’s shoulder. “Okay fine, I’m sorry. I forgot about the wine.”

Chuuya turns his face towards him,their noses almost touching. “What? Then what’s this chocolate for?”

“I stopped by 7/11 before coming here, and I saw those chocolates on display and remembered you like them.”

“Oh.”

Chuuya looks down at the pack of chocolates in his hand. He clears his throat and breaks free from Dazai’s embrace. “It’s a good thing I have like half a bottle of wine somewhere I think.”

“Oh, well things are turning out well after all.” 

Chuuya turns around to face him. “I have something to tell you first.”

Dazai stands up straight. “Oh?” He asks, feigning nonchalance, even though he starts feeling uneasy.

What if Chuuya tells him he’s going to start seeing someone so he can’t keep sleeping with Dazai anymore? Well, good riddance maybe. It was always bound to happen, anyway. Dazai didn’t expect it to be as soon as now, though.

“Oi, Dazai! Are you even listening?”

Dazai gets reeled away from his thoughts. He blinks at Chuuya. “Sorry, what was that?”

Chuuya looks annoyed that Dazai was indeed not listening, though he still repeats it. “I said, I was planning to go to Shimoda for spring break.” 

Dazai raises both his eyebrows. “Oh. That’s what you wanted to tell me?”

Chuuya puts one hand on his hip. “Yes? What did you think I was gonna tell you?”

“Nothing!” Dazai grins. “Anyway, that’s great Chuuya! There’s a lot of fun things to do in Shimoda. Who are you going with? The flags?”

Chuuya shakes his head. “No. They all have individual plans of their own.”

Dazai nods. “Oh. Someone else, then?”

“Yes. You, actually.”

Dazai’s eyes widens. “Pardon?”

Chuuya looks away from him, his eyebrows furrowing. “It’s just… I always wanted to see the beaches in Shimoda, and Ane-san allowed me to let me borrow her car too so I just needed someone to come with me at least. Not that I can’t go on my own, because I fucking can alright, but then I remember you told me that your plans for this short spring break got cancelled since your friends had some work business scheduled. So I figured I’d ask you, but if—”

“Chuuya,” Dazai cuts in, grabbing Chuuya’s shoulders. “I’ll go with you.”

Chuuya looks genuinely surprised. “You will?”

Dazai smiles at him. “Well, why not?”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to, you know.”

“I wouldn’t accept your offer if I didn’t want to go, Chuuya.”

Chuuya nods slowly, like he’s trying to process the fact that Dazai had just agreed to go with him. Dazai tilts his head. “Were you expecting me to say no?”

“I don’t know,” Chuuya mumbles. “I mean— do you even like beaches?”

“Who doesn’t like beaches?” Dazai asks. “Lots of crabs over there.”

Chuuya laughs, tapping Dazai’s nose with his index finger. “That you can’t eat, by the way.”

Dazai only grins at him. “When are we leaving then?”

“Tomorrow? We can stay there for three days and two nights. I can pay for our accommodations since I was the one who invited you on this trip.” 

Dazai shakes his head. “No, it’s alright. We can split it. And three days seem great. We still have time for class registration when we come back.”

Chuuya nods. “Alright. So we’re going to Shimoda for two days. We’ll leave tomorrow. What time?”

Dazai shrugs. “I’m good any time.”

“Okay, how about ten in the morning? Not too early, but not too late either. Since it takes three hours to Shimoda by car, then we’ll be there just a little after lunch.”

“Okay great.”

“Great!” Chuuya parrots, putting his hands on Dazai’s shoulders. He has such a bright smile on his face, like he’s really excited about the trip. His reaction makes Dazai feel fuzzy that he can’t help but cup Chuuya’s cheeks and pull him in for a kiss. Chuuya melts into the kiss easily, gripping onto Dazai’s coat as he kisses Dazai back.

They only fuck once that night, and even though Dazai wanted to go again Chuuya’s already kicking him off the bed saying he needs to go home, pack, and get some sleep since they’re travelling tomorrow. Dazai reluctantly gets off the bed and starts getting dressed slowly while Chuuya is still laying in bed naked.

“This is really unfair, you know. At least cover yourself up if you really want me to leave.”

Chuuya rolls his eyes, but covers himself up with a comforter anyway. “I have to head to my sister’s place first to grab the car, and then I’ll pick you up okay?” 

“Sounds like a plan,” Dazai answers, shrugging on his coat. “Well, I guess I’m leaving.”

“Okay.”

Dazai doesn’t move from his spot. Chuuya laughs, throwing a pillow at him. “Go!”

“Why can’t I stay?” Dazai whines, hugging the pillow that Chuuya threw at him. “I’m tired, you know. You told me I can stay whenever I’m tired.”

“Oh no, no, no, no,” Chuuya shakes his head. “You’re not doing that.”

“Doing what?” Dazai asks, feigning innocence.

“Just go, Osamu.” Chuuya sits up from the bed, the comforter dropping onto his lap. “When we’re in Shimoda, I’m all yours.”

The statement has Dazai’s brain going into overdrive, but he manages to stay composed. “Right. I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“See you tomorrow.”

“I thought your trip to Tokyo got canceled?” Sigma asks, leaning against the door frame to Dazai’s room as they watch Dazai stuff clothes into a duffel bag. 

“Yes, it did get canceled.”

“So you’re packing because…?”

Dazai zips the bag shut before looking up at Sigma. “I have another trip that I’m going to.”

Sigma nods. “Huh, sounds fun.”

Dazai picks up his phone on the bed, checking for a message from Chuuya, and he does get one with Chuuya saying he’s on his way. Thankfully Dazai has just finished packing, so all he has to do is wait for Chuuya. 

He slings the duffel bag over his shoulder, deciding to just wait for Chuuya outside the apartment. He grabs the handle of the door, looking over his shoulder at Sigma. “I’m off, roomie. Don’t miss me too much.”

Sigma only crosses their arms against their chest, giving Dazai a flat look. Dazai only smiles at them one last time before he steps out.

“Hope you have a boyfriend already when you come back!” He hears Sigma say before he could close the door. Dazai chooses to ignore them.

He doesn’t end up waiting for Chuuya long, maybe only around ten minutes. Chuuya pulls up in a white Lexus. He slides the windows down as he stops in front of Dazai. “Get in.”

Dazai lets out a whistle before getting into the passenger seat. He throws his bag into the backseat before putting on his seatbelt. “Someone’s a show off.”

“This is my sister’s, you idiot.” 

“Ah right, of course. If Chuuya were ever to have a car, it’d be something more flashy.” 

The drive to Shimoda is a smooth one. Chuuya is a great driver, a new fact that Dazai adds in the little Chuuya folder in his brain. Dazai busies himself with scrolling through the songs in Chuuya’s Spotify, since his phone is connected to the car via Bluetooth. “What kind of songs are these? I barely know a single one!”

“Because you have bad taste in music,” Chuuya answers. “Just pick a damn song already!”

Dazai sighs loudly. He just presses shuffle play, frowning when some rock music plays on the stereo. Chuuya seems to love this song, because he starts bobbing his head to the beat with a grin on his face.

They spend the rest of the drive like that; Chuuya trying to enjoy the music and tuning out Dazai’s whining and complaints about how said music is hurting his ears. They arrive in Shimoda just a few minutes before 1PM, and Dazai is now scrolling through the different restaurants in Shimoda that Google is suggesting.

They decide to just head to the nearest one since they’re both starving after the three hour drive. They both order the special seafood pasta, which has Chuuya’s approval since he finishes it in a nick of time. Or maybe he was just really hungry after driving.

“We can go beach hopping tomorrow,” Chuuya says once they’re back in the car, stomachs filled. They’re now heading to an inn they can check in at.  “We can stroll around the city today instead.”

“Fine by me,” Dazai answers, looking out the window as Chuuya drives. Shimoda is a pretty small city compared to Yokohama. There are barely any buildings, mostly only one-story houses and establishments. Their docks are a huge contrast to Yokohama’s port which are crowded with huge ships. Instead, their docks are crowded with hovercrafts and fishing boats with the occasional yachts. 

Chuuya finds them a motel that’s not cheap, but not too expensive either. Before they could head to the front desk, Chuuya’s phone rings. “Ah, it’s Ane-san. I need to take this. Just get us a room, will you?” 

Dazai nods. Chuuya hands over a debit card, saying Dazai should use that and he can just pay Chuuya later. Chuuya steps back outside as he accepts the call while Dazai walks over to the front desk. He gives the guy manning the front desk a smile. “Good afternoon. I would like to book a room for two days.”

“No problem, sir. For how many people?”

“Two.”

The front desk clerk nods, checking something on the computer in front of him. “Would you like to take the deluxe queen room or a deluxe double room?”

“Ah, may I know the difference?”

“The deluxe queen room has one queen sized bed, and the deluxe double room has two separate single sized beds.”

“Oh. And both are available?”

“Yes.”

“Which room is cheaper?”

“They’re the same price, sir.”

Dazai puts his hands on the edge of the desk as he contemplates on which room he should get. He should really just get the room with two separate single-sized beds, it’s the logical choice. But instead his traitorous mouth says, “I’ll take the deluxe queen room.”

Dazai hands Chuuya’s card to the clerk as he asks for the payment. After a few minutes, the man gives him the keys to the room and two stubs for breakfast. Dazai mumbles a thank you and turns around, immediately bumping into Chuuya who has apparently finished his call.

“Oh hey, you got us a room?” Chuuya asks.

“Yes!” Dazai practically shouts. Chuuya’s eyebrows furrow at his sudden shouting. “Uh, we’re in…” he looks at the numbers attached in the keychain of the key to the room. “215.”

They head to the second floor and easily locate their room. Dazai pushes the door open, and Chuuya enters the room without a word, dropping his bag on the floor and collapsing onto the bed.

Dazai is still standing by the door, waiting for Chuuya to ask him why there is only one bed. But he doesn’t. He’s still laying in bed— the single queen-sized bed in the middle of the room. So Dazai just slowly closes the door behind him, dropping his bag in a small closet near the door.

“My, slug, you’re that tired from the three hour drive?”

Chuuya’s eyes snap open to glare at him. “I haven’t driven this far in a long time alright? And I don’t wanna hear it from someone who was just sitting pretty in the passenger seat.”

“You think I’m pretty? I’m flattered.” 

“Not the point, mackerel.” 

“I can drive us if you’re tired,” Dazai offers.

Chuuya sits up, letting out a cackle. “Like I’m letting you touch the steering wheel of my sister’s car. Not a chance.”

“So mean, Chuuya!” Dazai whines, sitting on the edge of the bed. “But seriously, take a nap if you want to.”

“But we’re supposed to stroll around the city.”

“And we will once you wake up. This is a small city, I’m sure we’ll get to see most of it.”

Chuuya yawns. “Okay. Wake me up in an hour, please?”

“I will.”

While Chuuya takes a nap, Dazai busies himself with reading a book he brought along, satisfied with Chuuya’s soft snores as white noise. 

Once an hour passes, Dazai puts down his book and lays down in front of Chuuya. He smiles fondly, leaning forward to plant a kiss between Chuuya’s eyebrows and on the tip of his nose. Chuuya rouses from his sleep, slowly opening his eyes. Once he sees Dazai’s face in front of him, he throws his hands over Dazai, pulling himself closer to him until they’re pressed together and Chuuya has his face buried in Dazai’s neck.

“Time to get up if you want to play tourist,” Dazai whispers.

“Let’s just stay here,” Chuuya answers, his voice groggy. Dazai feels Chuuya’s hands slipping under his shirt, making him chuckle.

“And have you blame me once you regret not being able to look around? I don’t think so.”

“Fine,” Chuuya grumbles. “Let’s go.”

But they don’t move from their position for another fifteen minutes. They only let go of each other once Chuuya announces he has to go to the bathroom. Once he steps out of the bathroom, his disheveled bed hair looks more tamed, and the faint sleep marks on his left cheek are fading. 

“Ready to go?”

“Yup.”

Since Shimoda is mainly known for their beautiful beaches, there aren't a lot of other tourist spots aside from the beaches. They did have an oceanarium that both Dazai and Chuuya didn’t get to go into since it was already closing. They have plenty of historical sites as well that really didn’t really pique their interests much, but Chuuya still took photos of them.

For dinner, Dazai suggested a Spanish restaurant that had a ton of wine on display that he saw on Google. Chuuya was delighted as they stepped inside and he saw the wine bottles displayed on a rack, bouncing on his heels like an excited child.

After dinner, they take a stroll along Perry Road, a picturesque, quaint street surrounded with trees and traditional Japanese homes that follow a water canal. Chuuya is busy eating his red bean filled taiyaki , while Dazai finishes the last ball of his dango that they both purchased from a dessert stoll.

“It’s so nice here,” Chuuya says.

“You haven’t even seen the beaches yet.”

“Yes, but I already think it’s nice.”

“You’d come back if you could?”

“Yeah,” Chuuya answers. “It was definitely worth the three-hour drive. I can’t wait to see the beaches tomorrow.”

Once Chuuya finishes his taiyaki, they decide to finally head back to the motel they’re staying at. Their lips immediately crash against each other in a messy kiss as soon as they enter their room. Dazai kicks the door close, not wanting to take his hands off Chuuya. The redbean flavor from Chuuya’s taiyaki mixes with the dango Dazai just had on his taste buds, but both desserts cannot even compare to sweetness that is Chuuya and Chuuya alone.

Chuuya pulls away from Dazai to catch his breath, cupping Dazai’s cheeks. Dazai gives him a playful smile as he tries catching his own breath. “Was this part of the itinerary?”

Chuuya only answers by pressing their lips together again, and Dazai takes that as a yes.

From all the times that Dazai stayed the night with Chuuya, he would always be the one to wake up first. He’s always been a light sleeper and barely gets more than six hours of sleep most of the time, anyway. Dazai likes it that he wakes up first actually; he’s not very fond of having people near him while he’s unaware and vulnerable, plus he gets to snap photos of Chuuya sleeping with his mouth half open. It’s a sight Dazai would probably never get tired of.

This time though, Dazai wakes up to someone drawing circles on his back. Dazai opens his eyes and is met with the sight of a very awake Chuuya looking directly at him. “Good morning.” 

The situation isn’t exactly the same, but Dazai is reminded of the first time he woke up next to Chuuya. Though this time, instead of freaking out, Dazai just pulls Chuuya closer by the waist. “Morning. What time is it?” He asks groggily.

“It’s eleven in the morning.”

Dazai raises his eyebrows. “That late?”

“Yup. Guess we both exhausted ourselves last night.”

“That’s too bad. The motel’s complimentary breakfast probably ended by now.”

“Let’s just have brunch somewhere before we head to the beaches,” Chuuya says, sitting up from the bed. “I’ll shower first.”

Dazai wraps his arms around Chuuya’s waist. “How about we shower together?”

Chuuya glances down at him, amusement dancing in his eyes. “Idiot, like we’d both fit in the shower. Haven’t you had enough of me last night?”

Dazai presses a kiss against Chuuya’s bare hips. “I don't think I’ll ever get enough of you.”

Chuuya only ruffles his hair before he pushes himself out of bed and heads to the bathroom, leaving Dazai on the bed.

Once they both finish getting ready, they leave the motel to look for a restaurant they can have a quick brunch at. Dazai is the designated driver for the day even though yesterday Chuuya said he’d never let Dazai near the steering wheel of his sister’s car. Chuuya says he only agreed to be the passenger for the day because he wants to be the one looking at the phone to navigate which beaches they’ll be going to. 

Chuuya picks a seafood restaurant that’s said to be quite famous in the small city. There were a lot of people since it was exactly lunch time, but fortunately they managed to get themselves a table for two. They don’t stay long at the restaurant and immediately leave as soon as they finish their meals, not wanting to linger with the lunchtime crowd.

“Where to next?” Dazai asks as he puts on his seatbelt and starts the car.

“There are more than twelve beaches around here and although I want to go and see them all, I think we should just stick to four,” Chuuya says, his eyes glued to his phone. “I picked out the beaches that aren’t as popular and a bit secluded.”

“Alright, which one are we going to first?”

“Let’s start with the nearest one,” Chuuya flips his phone towards Dazai to show him the photo displayed on his screen. “Here. Nabetahama.”

“Looks promising.”

It was a relatively short trip, only around six minutes from their previous destination. As soon as Dazai parked the car, he and Chuuya headed to the shore. Dazai puts his hands in his pockets as he looks around the place. It’s nothing different from the beaches near Yokohama, and a little different from the photo Chuuya showed him, so it’s quite a bit disappointing on his end. The only difference is that the water was clearer and the shore was more rocky than it was sandy.

Chuuya doesn’t seem to be sharing the same thoughts as Dazai. He takes off his slipper and dips his feet into the water, turning to Dazai with a bright smile on his face. “Look how clear the water is!”

“Yes, it’s so clear I can see your ugly toes.”

“Fuck you!”

Dazai chuckles, crossing his arms against his chest as he watches Chuuya take pictures of the beach.

They don’t stay by the shore for too long and decide to have some crepes from a small dessert shop just a few meters away from the parking spot. Chuuya also drags him to the 7/11 just in front of the dessert store so they can buy drinks and chips to take along their beach hopping trip.

The next beach is ten minutes away from the first one, which Dazai thinks is relatively better too. The shoreline of Tatadohama beach is longer than Nabetahama’s, and it is more sand than it is rocks. There are a few people at the beach, with kids running around with floaties attached to their arms. 

Chuuya still looks mesmerized like it’s his first time seeing a damn beach. Dazai doesn’t hate beaches, but he isn’t really fond of them either. The ocean air makes him feel all sticky, especially with his bandages, and the sand in his slipper annoys him a lot. Plus, it’s just one whole body of water anyway. The water they have at the ports of Yokohama is still the same one they’re seeing now, albeit cleaner and clearer from its surroundings.

Dazai is reeled out of his thoughts when Chuuya grabs his wrist and pulls him. He thinks Chuuya is about to pull him towards the water and is about to pull away when Chuuya comes to a stop, pointing at the sand. “I saw a small crab here somewhere.”

“After you ate a few of their kind for lunch?”

Chuuya glares at him. “Hey, you had crab salad for lunch. I had squid.”

“Don’t say it out loud! What if they hear you and attack me?”

“I wish they would,” Chuuya crouches down on the sand, digging on it with his hands. “Let’s look for some.”

Dazai crouches down next to Chuuya, but he doesn’t dig his hand into the sand. Chuuya keeps digging for a while, before he freezes when a crab shows out from a small hole in the sand out of nowhere. 

“Look!” He says loudly that it startles the crab and goes back into hiding. Chuuya pouts, making Dazai laugh. “See? Even crabs don’t like your loud volume, Chuuya.” 

“My volume is just right!”

Chuuya starts digging again before he takes a handful of sand and begins to sift through it. When he doesn’t see any crabs, he drops the lump of sand. He does the cycle again, and Dazai just watches him fondly. After a few minutes, Chuuya finally manages to find a tiny crab in the handful of sand he scooped up.

“It’s a chibi crab,” Dazai says. “Like you.”

Chuuya only glares at him before he looks back down at the crab in the palm of his hand. “It’s trying to burrow into my palm. It tickles.”

“I wonder how many of them make one canned crab.” 

“You’re so annoying.” Chuuya rolls his eyes. “Here, at least try to hold it.”

“No way! I may love crabs, but only as food.”

“Come on, sand crabs won’t even try and hurt you.”

Dazai hesitates before opening up his palm. Chuuya smiles, slowly dropping the sand crab into his palm. It starts running around Dazai’s hand. “Ah! It’s trying to attack me!”

“It’s not, you big baby. It was just surprised when I dropped it.”

“Oh.” 

After another half hour searching for crabs, they decide to head to the next beach. Tsumekizaki beach was on the other side of town, taking them around twenty minutes to arrive.

“I know I said we're sticking to unpopular beaches, but this one is actually a tourist spot.” Chuuya says as they get out of the car. “But I really wanted to see the lighthouse.”

They climb the stairs to a small hill in order to see the lighthouse, and from the top Dazai can see the view of the Izu islands and vast ocean. He can definitely see why the place is a tourist spot. It’s peaceful, clean, and surrounded by nature. 

Thankfully there weren’t a lot of people, aside from the occasional foreigners and some families who are on vacation. The lighthouse is located at the edge of the hill, and Chuuya immediately takes out his phone and starts snapping photos once they arrive. Dazai takes the time to get a good look at the plain looking lighthouse.

“Osamu.”

Dazai turns towards Chuuya, who has his phone pointed at him. He hears the faint shutter of the iPhone camera, before Chuuya lowers his phone and looks at the photo he took of Dazai on his phone.

“Chuuya is such a paparazzi.”

Chuuya walks towards him, putting his phone in his pocket. “I just realized you haven’t even taken a photo even once during the trip. At least let me take one of you so I can remember you came along.”

“You don’t have a photo of yourself either. You only take photos of the views and everything,” Dazai takes out his own phone from his pocket. “Pose by those red camellias over there.”

Chuuya does what he says, standing by the red camellias. He poses awkwardly, like he  doesn’t know where to put his hands, and the ocean air keeps messing up his hair, but Dazai thinks he still looks beautiful as he clicks the capture button. 

If they both realized they took each other’s photos on their own phones, they don’t bring it up.

The last beach Chuuya has on his list is only ten minutes away from Tsumekizaki. They put the snacks they bought at 7/11 earlier in an extra bag Chuuya had in the car, including some extra clothes. They walk through a secluded trail for around ten minutes before reaching the shore. The shoreline was a mixture of pristine white sand and rocks, and the water was as clear as all the other beaches they’ve visited.

“How did you even find this place?” Dazai asks, because they were the only people around, and it’s clear how the beach is a secluded place.

“The power of Google,” Chuuya answers as he sets up a blanket on the white sand. 

Dazai nods approvingly. “This might be my most favorite one.”

“We’ve been here for like three minutes,” Chuuya says, plopping down on the blanket and grabbing himself a bag of Cheetos.

Dazai sits on the blanket next to him, hugging his knees against his chest. It wasn’t as hot as it was earlier since it’s almost five in the afternoon, so Dazai doesn’t mind staying by the shore. 

They sit there in a comfortable silence (well, as silent as Chuuya munches on his Cheetos) just watching the sea kiss the shore only to pull away, and them come back.

“Thanks for coming here with me,” Chuuya says all of a sudden, his voice so soft Dazai almost missed it.

Dazai bumps their shoulders. “Like I would miss the opportunity to see Chuuya look at beaches like he’s never seen a beach before.”

“I hate you.” 

Dazai hums in reply. They’re wrapped in another comfortable silence before Dazai decides to speak up. “You excited to graduate?”

“Hell yeah,” Chuuya answers, wiping his cheese-stained fingers with wet tissue. “Who isn’t excited to graduate from college?”

“A lot of people, maybe.”

“Are you one of those people?”

“Maybe, maybe not,” Dazai mumbles, picking up a nearby stick to draw on the sand. “I just don’t know which path to take when I graduate.”

“I get it,” Chuuya says. “But didn’t you tell me back then in freshman year that you thought the same thing when you were in highschool? And you decided to take up literature, in the end. Because you wanted to.”

“I guess. But there were choices laid out to me, that time. It was either I go to college and pick out a course or just… I don’t know. Not go to college and look for a job.”

“It’s not like you don’t have choices now. We always have to make a choice,” Chuuya props his hands on the sand, leaning back. “For example, once you graduate, you can choose what you want to do next. Do you want to look for a job? Do you want to take a break and travel? Do you want to write a book? Stuff like that.”

Dazai smiles a bit. “Maybe you’re right.”

“I always am.”

“Eh… I don't know about that..." 

Chuuya punches his shoulder.

They spend the rest of their time talking about college; Chuuya ranting that he still has to take social sciences this fall semester, Dazai saying he hasn’t thought of a good topic for his thesis yet… just the most random things they can think of. 

When the sky starts turning into a pinkish-purple hue, Chuuya gets up from the blanket. “Let’s take a dip.”

“I think I’ll pass.”

“Not a whole body dip!” Chuuya offers his hand to him. “Just our feet. Come on, party pooper.” 

“Fine,” Dazai drawls, grabbing Chuuya’s hand. Chuuya immediately pulls him up and drags him to the ocean. Thankfully the ocean was warm and not freezing cold, it actually felt nice. What felt nicer was Chuuya’s hand still in Dazai’s while he kept pointing at the unusual rocks he saw under the clear water.

Chuuya drags him somewhere deeper that Dazai has to fold the edge of his pants up so they won’t get wet, while Chuuya doesn’t have the same problem since he’s wearing khaki shorts.

“Chuuya, you t—” Dazai freezes when he feels something slimy touching his ankle.

“What?” Chuuya looks at him.

“Something touched my feet.”

“What? Dazai, the water is barely above our—oh shit what was that!”

They start running around in a circle until they bump into each other, Dazai losing his balance and falling backwards, dragging Chuuya with him as they both end up in the shallow water with a splash.

“What the hell!” 

“What the fuck! Why the hell did you drag me with you, you asshole!”

“This is your fault, anyway!”

They give each other hard glares until the situation fully sinks in their heads and they see each other both wet, and they end up trying to suppress their laugh. 

“You’re an idiot,” Chuuya says fondly, pushing away some of the wet strands of Dazai’s from his forehead. Between the both of them, Dazai was more wet since he dropped onto the water and Chuuya landed on top of him.

“Right. I wasn’t the one who started running around when the fish touched my ankle.”

Chuuya is about to retort back when he sees Dazai’s bandages coming undone as they get soaked. “Oh no, your bandages got wet. Shit, I’m sorry.”

Dazai’s expression softens. “Chuuya, it’s fine. It’s not like you haven’t seen me without them, anyway.”

“Still,” Chuuya chews on his lower lip. He looks like he really feels bad about it, and he’s about to get off Dazai when Dazai stops him, cupping his cheeks. “Hey, it’s not your fault. No one’s around anyway.”

Chuuya doesn’t look all that convinced, so Dazai leans in to give him a peck on the lips. Chuuya relaxes. “We should go before you get more soaked.”

“Definitely.”

Chuuya gets up first, offering his hand to Dazai like he did earlier. Dazai grabs Chuuya’s hands, pulling himself up. Chuuya looks like he’s suppressing a laugh as Dazai stands in front of him. Dazai raises an eyebrow, but Chuuya just smiles at him as he intertwines their fingers together, and god, Dazai is truly, madly, and deeply in love with him.

Oh.

Oh.

Dazai is in love.

He’s in love with Chuuya. 

Chuuya squeezes his hand. “Let’s go?”

Chuuya starts walking back to shore, stringing Dazai along with him. Dazai looks down at their intertwined hands. His head is spinning and his heart feels like it's about to jump out from his chest.

“Chuuya.”

Chuuya looks back at him. “What?”

Dazai suddenly feels like his throat is clogged up.

I’m in love with you. 

“Nothing.” 

Chuuya gives him a funny look. “Did the water go all the way up your brain? C’mon.”

They both dried themselves up with the single towel Chuuya brought. Chuuya then helps Dazai get rid of his wet bandages and into a new pair of clean clothes they had in the bag. It’s a bit weird not feeling his bandages hugging against his skin, but at least he’s wearing a long sleeved shirt.

Chuuya is the one who drives them back to their motel, which Dazai is thankful for since he suddenly feels exhausted. He leans his head against the window, closing his eyes.

Deep down, Dazai knew he had it coming. There’s a reason his friends kept thinking he and Chuuya were dating, though Dazai wonders what it was. Was it the fond look Dazai always had on his face when he looked at Chuuya? Was it the fact that Dazai liked spending his free time with Chuuya? Was it the way his tone changes when he talks about Chuuya?

He doesn’t know if he should be relieved that he now knows why he’s been acting weird around Chuuya, or mortified because he’s in love with Chuuya, his year-long fuck buddy.

It’s not like he and Chuuya had those contracts that they ‘can’t fall in love with each other’ that mostly happen in books and movies. With him and Chuuya, everything just felt natural. Maybe Dazai can just tell Chuuya that he’s in love with him.

But Dazai has always been bad with feelings, especially with love. He’s never dealt with an emotion as complicated as romantic love before. 

So instead, he does what he does best. He shuts people out.

As soon as they arrive at the motel, Chuuya offers for him to shower first, which Dazai is thankful for. He takes a quick shower and changes into comfortable clothes. Chuuya showers right after him, and Dazai takes the opportunity to lay in bed and pretend to fall asleep. 

He’s facing away from the bathroom with his eyes closed when he hears Chuuya coming out of the bathroom. “Man, we haven’t had dinner yet. Do—Dazai?” 

Dazai hears footsteps and the bed dips on Chuuya’s side of the bed. “You’re asleep already?”

“Huh, you must’ve been exhausted.” He hears Chuuya say. “Good night.”

Dazai just squeezes his eyes shut.

The next morning, they were able to have their complimentary breakfast at the motel before they started driving back to Yokohama. Chuuya allowed Dazai to connect his phone to the car this time, and Dazai played songs from his Taylor Swift playlist.

“You were knocked out pretty fast last night,” Chuuya says, glancing at Dazai before turning back to look at the road in front of him. 

“Ah, yeah,” Dazai answers. “Who knew beach hopping could be so tiring?”

“But you had fun, right?”

Dazai hums, leaning his head against the window so he can pretend to sleep again.

The drive back to Yokohama seemed twice as long as their drive to Shimoda, and Dazai has an inkling it’s because he didn’t busy himself with bothering Chuuya and striking a conversation with him. Chuuya didn’t try making small talk with him either, considering Dazai is pretending to sleep.

Once they finally arrive in Yokohama, Chuuya drops Dazai off at his apartment. Dazai reaches for his bag in the back seat and is about to open the door when Chuuya grabs his wrist.

Dazai turns to him, trying to school his expression. Chuuya’s grip on his wrist loosens. “Hey, we’re good… right?”

Dazai gives him a fake cheery smile. “Just peachy, chibi.” 

Chuuya looks hesitant, like he doesn’t believe him. He opens his mouth, but closes it quickly. Instead he gives Dazai a peck on the cheek. “Thank you for coming with me.”

“Chuuya, I told you, you don’t need to thank me. I wanted to go.”

“I know,” Chuuya answers, leaning away. “But still. I had fun.”

“Good to know.”

“Well I’ll…” Chuuya pulls his hand away from Dazai’s wrist. “I’ll see you soon?”

“Of course. See you.” Dazai says before getting out of the car and heading inside the apartment, not bothering to turn back.

As Dazai steps into the apartment, he squeezes his eyes shut. God, he’s running away from Chuuya again like he did that time he first stayed the night. He’s so pathetic.

“What are you doing standing there?”

Dazai snaps his eyes open and sees Sigma standing by the kitchen, holding a jar of strawberry marmalade. 

“Not even a ‘welcome back’?” Dazai retorts, already heading to his room.

“Well, I was gonna, but you were standing there at the door looking all weird.” Sigma says. “Did the trip not go well?”

“It was amazing. Too amazing.” Dazai answers before closing the door, dropping his bag on the floor and collapsing on his bed.

A week. Dazai hasn’t talked to Chuuya in a week.

And it’s fine, because fall semester has just started and students are starting to adjust. Chuuya’s last text to Dazai was a day after they arrived in Yokohama, something about Dazai’s watch still being at his apartment.

Now, he’s at the library of his university leaning his upper body against the table, propping his chin onto it. He doesn’t even need to call out Yosano’s attention, because the medical student looks up from her textbook easily. “Why are you like that?”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know… like you’re sulking.”

Dazai frowns. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Akiko.” 

Yosano closes her textbook shut, putting his arms on the table. “Alright, I know why you called me here.”

“You do?”

Yosano rolls his eyes. “Of course I do. Now tell me what happened on your trip with Chuuya.”

“Why do you know about that? I haven’t even told you yet!”

“Chuuya posted a photo of you on his Instagram with the location showing that it was in Shimoda.”

“Oh. He posted that?”

“That’s not the point!”

Dazai sighs. “Fine. I’m in love with Chuuya.”

“Finally.”

“I knew you were gonna say that. Sigma is gonna say that too, and Odasaku, and Ango!”

“It’s because this was long overdue,” Yosano says. “And you had this realization during the trip?”

“Yes,” Dazai answers. “Though, it was only when I started to acknowledge it. I think this really started when I accidentally stayed for the night at Chuuya’s.”

“And why is that?”

“Because I felt funny seeing him next to me in the morning,” Dazai confesses. “And I… I thought, `’I wouldn't mind waking up next to Chuuya everyday.’”

Yosano’s eyes widens. “Wow. Wow. So you’re down like… really really bad then.”

“I know! That’s why I freaked out at that time. But then we talked about being exclusive, and Chuuya brought it up and said I shouldn’t be weird about it, so I started staying over at his place more often, got used to it, and everything went back to normal. But I now know that I’m in love with him.”

“So just do what you did last time,” Yosano says. “Talk to Chuuya, or better, tell him you love him.”

“I would, but I can’t. I don’t deal with love, Akiko.”

“You’re being ridiculous,” Yosano shakes her head. “So Chuuya’s your first love. So what? Are you gonna run away from it?”

“Who even falls in love with their fuck buddy?” Dazai whines. 

“Many people!”

“What if he hates me? Or he doesn’t love me back?”

“I don’t even know the guy much but I know Chuuya wouldn’t hate you just because you’re a human being who feels emotions like love,” Yosano answers. “And if he doesn’t love you back, then he doesn’t love you back. You move on.”

Dazai tilts his head, pressing his cheek against the table.

“Look, Dazai, you need to talk to him at least. You’re forgetting that possibilities don’t come in single occurrences. There’s two possibilities to this situation. Chuuya might love you back, you know.”

“Love is so complicated. I can’t get the hang of it. I hate things I can’t control.”

Yosano chuckles, ruffling his hair. “That’s love for you. Just give it a try, yeah? You never know.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Okay. But think about it a little fast, because you might regret it if you don’t or if you’re too late.”

Dazai takes another two weeks to think about his conversation with Yosano. He replies to some of Chuuya’s texts now, not wanting to completely ignore Chuuya because Chuuya doesn’t deserve it. Even though Dazai is basically trying to push him away, Dazai can’t help but pull him back as well. And he’s selfish for that.

The beginning of fall semester isn’t as hectic even for a fourth year student like Dazai, but he tries to keep himself busy doing freelance jobs like doing article editing commissions.

Dazai yawns as he walks back to his apartment after spending his afternoon in a nearby coffee shop editing an article that was commissioned to him. He freezes when he sees a familiar figure pacing back and forth in front of his apartment. Chuuya.

What’s he doing here? Dazai hasn’t seen him since they came back from their Shimoda trip. Chuuya looks frustrated pacing back and forth, not having noticed Dazai yet.

Dazai takes a deep breath as he contemplates what to do. He can turn around and not show himself to Chuuya, or he can finally take the opportunity to talk to him and confess. The latter doesn’t seem really tempting, but Dazai decides it’s the better thing to do at the moment. Chuuya’s already right there, and Dazai can’t keep trying to avoid him forever. He knows his feelings won’t disappear overnight, so he might as well face it. If Chuuya doesn’t feel the same way, then it’s okay. At least Dazai can deal with it better than doing the he loves me, he loves me not flower trick in his head.

“Stop repeatedly stomping on the ants on the ground, slug!”

Chuuya’s head snaps up, looking around frantically until his eyes land on Dazai. Dazai slowly walks towards him and offers a small wave.

“Dazai,” Chuuya breathes out, like he can’t believe Dazai is in front of him.

“Hi.”

Chuuya shoves his hands in his pocket. “I uh, I was gonna text you.” 

“Right,” Dazai chuckles. “How long have you been pacing back and forth in front of my apartment?”

“It’s— I haven’t—" He pulls something from him pocket. A watch. Dazai's watch. "Here."

"Ah, I‘ve forgotten about this," Dazai says, taking the watch from Chuuya. "Thank you. Is this why you came here?"

"Yes—no," Chuuya's eyebrrows furrow. "I wanted to talk to you."

“Okay,” Dazai answers calmly. “Me too, actually.”

“Oh,” Chuuya blinks. “Really?”

Dazai shrugs. “Yeah. So how about you go first?”

Chuuya nods, taking a deep breath. “Look I… I know you lied to me.”

Dazai’s eyes widen a bit, not expecting Chuuya’s statement. Does Chuuya know already?

“I know that we’re not okay. And I think I know why.”

Dazai’s hands curl into fists, his fingernails digging into his palm and his heart racing as he listens to what Chuuya has to say next.

“I’m sorry.”

Dazai blinks. “What?”

“I’m sorry,” Chuuya repeats. “I overstepped our boundaries inviting you to the trip. I just— I don’t know,” he chuckles dryly, pushing his hair back with his fingers. “I thought I’d just give it a shot and ask you, and then you said yes, and then suddenly we were in Shimoda having a great time, doing all those things together— things that maybe we shouldn’t have been doing. So maybe I made everything weird, and I don’t want things to be weird with us.”

“Chuuya—”

“So just, maybe we can forget it? I won’t overstep again. I know you get all weird when we do stuff that couples do—”

“Chuuya—”

“—and things between us have been great until recently, so I don’t wanna ruin that and I—”

“Chuuya.” 

“What?!” He snaps. “Can’t you wait your turn?!”

Dazai just laughs, cupping Chuuya’s cheeks. “Chuuya.”

“What?” Chuuya snaps.

Dazai smiles at him. “I love you.”

The irritated expression on Chuuya’s face is immediately replaced with surprise. “What?”

“I love you.”

“What?”

“I’m in love with you.”

“What?”

“Are you just gonna keep saying what? What are you, a broken record?”

“You… love me?” Chuuya asks breathlessly. 

“I do,” Dazai answers. “It’s like you said, I get weird when we do couple-like things, but not because I didn’t like it. Infact, I did like it, but I couldn’t figure out the reason why I liked it when we’re just fucking, you’know? So I was acting weird about it. Turns out, I liked doing whatever things couples do with you because I want us to be a couple. I want to hold hands with you, and take you out on dates, go on more trips with you, take pictures of you and put you on my lock screen— whatever cheesy stuff boyfriends do, I wanna do it with you.”

“When?” Chuuya whispers, and Dazai knows he’s asking when Dazai knew he loved him. “Was it in Shimoda?”

“It’s when I came to terms with it, yes,” Dazai says. “But I think I’ve been in love with you for a while now.”

Chuuya squeezes his eyes shut, like he can’t believe it. Dazai pulls his hands away from Chuuya and takes a step back, offering him some space so he can process everything fully.

“You… love me.” He says again, more of a statement now than a question.

“Did you not know?” Dazai tilts his head. “Well, I mean, even I didn’t know I was in love with you till recently, so of course you didn’t know—”

“No, I— there was a time that I did think that you felt the same as I did. But then that time you accidentally stayed the night? When I kissed you good morning and you ran off? It was then I told myself I was wrong.”

Dazai groans. “God, I’m sorry. I wish I could just erase that day from existence.”

“I thought you were grossed out by the thought of staying the night with me or something.”

“What? Of course not,” Dazai’s eyebrows furrow. “Do you know what I was thinking that morning? I was thinking how nice it would be to wake up next to you every morning of my life.”

“Oh.” Chuuya mumbles, stunned. “And then… you freaked out.”

“Yes. Clearly I didn’t know why I was having thoughts like that for a fuck buddy. Now I know that I am in love with said fuck buddy.”

“Stop saying fuck buddy.”

“Okay.”

Chuuya rubs two fingers in the middle of his eyebrows. “My god, we’re idiots.”

Dazai hums, rocking on the heels of his feet. “Does this mean Chuuya feels the same way?”

“Of course I do!” Chuuya answers matter-of-factly. “I was going to tell you once we came back from Shimoda but you were acting a little cold and weird, so I chickened out.” 

“Oh. Oh yeah, we’re definitely idiots.”

Chuuya rolls his eyes, but his cheeks are a little rosy and there’s a small smile on his face. Dazai reaches over to grab Chuuya’s hand and pull him closer until they’re pressed chest to chest, Dazai wrapping his arms around Chuuya’s waist. Chuuya wraps his own arms loosely around Dazai’s neck, his wrists forming an X behind Dazai. 

“So, will Chuuya do the honors of doing cheesy couple-y stuff with me?” Dazai asks. “Will you be my boyfriend?”

“Unfortunately, yes.” Chuuya answers, a teasing lilt in his tone.

“You’re so mean.” Dazai mumbles before leaning closer, nudging his nose against Chuuya’s until their lips brushed together. It’s not their first kiss — far from it, even — but the warmth that blossoms in Dazai’s chest is nothing like any of their other kisses. It’s not even as romantic since they’re just standing in front of Dazai’s apartment, but Dazai thinks there isn’t a much more beautiful moment than this, than finally getting to kiss Chuuya knowing that he loves him, and that Chuuya loves him too.

They pull away from each other to catch their breaths, with Chuuya’s one hand finding its way into Dazai’s disheveled hair, and sliding back down to rest on Dazai’s left cheek. Dazai leans into the touch like a moth to a flame, planting a kiss on the heel of Chuuya’s hand.

“I love you, Osamu.” Chuuya whispers.

“What?”

“I love you.”

“What?”

“Oh, fuck you. You’re mocking me from earlier.”

Dazai gives him a cheeky grin. “Just wanted to hear you say it again.”

“Uh-huh,” Chuuya mumbles, giving Dazai a peck on the lips. “Stay with me tonight?”

Dazai smiles, pressing their foreheads together. “You don’t even have to ask.” 

Not much has changed between Dazai and Chuuya’s relationship even though they’d made things official and have upgraded from being fuck buddies to boyfriends. Dazai doesn’t mind at all, because he’s content with what he has with Chuuya now. Though they do text more often than before, they go on dates, and they’re more affectionate and touchy. Just a little bit.

One of Dazai’s favorites though is being able to stay over with Chuuya any time he likes. They don’t need fuck just so Dazai will have a reason to stay over. They’re boyfriends now — if Dazai wants to burst into Chuuya’s apartment and bother the fuck out of the love of his life, he can do it whenever he wants.

Dazai would never admit it out loud, but he’s the clingy one in their relationship. He likes lingering around Chuuya, hugging him from behind whenever his boyfriend is doing his quantum mechanics readings by the island counter. He likes leaning his head against Chuuya’s shoulder when they’re both sitting on the couch, watching a movie. He likes burying his nose in Chuuya’s hair when they’re in bed, inhaling the faint strawberry scent of his shampoo. 

And it seems that Chuuya secretly likes it when he’s being clingy. Of course he’ll keep complaining and yelling at Dazai to go away, but Chuuya won’t be Chuuya if he won’t do that. His words are a huge contrast to his actions, because he’d keep telling Dazai to go away if Dazai hugs him from behind, but would gently reach his hand upwards to scratch Dazai’s scalp anyway and lean into his embrace.

Dazai’s also been slowly establishing himself in Chuuya’s apartment without the both of them realizing it. It started with Dazai having his own toothbrush next to Chuuya’s, and then having his own mug (which looked really ugly by the way, the sole reason why Chuuya bought it for him), and then Chuuya making space in his closet for a few of Dazai’s clothes so he doesn’t need to stop by his own apartment in the mornings that he has classes, and the cupboards in the kitchen being stored with canned crab. It’s great.

Dazai thinks that the months he’s been dating Chuuya are one of the happiest months in his life. 

Two months before they graduate, Chuuya gets accepted into an internship at JAXA that he applied for back in August, and Dazai is the first person he tells of the good news. Dazai is nothing but proud of him.

Chuuya’s internship lasts for the whole month of February, in which he has to go Tokyo, where the JAXA headquarters are located, and then back in Yokohama.

Dazai’s always at Chuuya’s apartment at this point, and he always sees how exhausted Chuuya is from juggling his internship in another city, and his heavy workload in university. Dazai makes sure to lessen Chuuya’s burden when he comes home tired in the evening, and Chuuya is relieved to just plop down next to Dazai on the couch and rest his head against his boyfriend’s shoulders.

It’s no surprise to anyone when Chuuya is offered a full-time job at JAXA when his internship ends. As always, Chuuya tells Dazai of the good news first, excitedly letting him read the email displayed on his laptop screen.

“I can’t believe it, Osamu!” Chuuya exclaims, practically jumping onto Dazai. “I’m really getting a job at my dream workplace.”

Dazai kisses the side of Chuuya’s head. “I did, though. I always knew you would.”

Chuuya’s expression softens. “I love you.”

Dazai smiles. “I love you. Are you excited to move to Tokyo?”

Chuuya blinks. “Move to—? Why would I move to Tokyo?”

“You’ll be working there.”

Chuuya shakes his head. “Tokyo is barely an hour away from Yokohama. I’ll be fine just here. Besides, yo—” Chuuya stops.

You’re here. Is what he was gonna say.

Dazai tilts his head. “So you don’t want to move to Tokyo?”

“I— It’s not that I don’t want to, but I’m just fine staying here. I can just buy a car in a few years.”

“Traffic is such a pain in the ass, though.”

“I don’t care.”

“Ah,” Dazai fakes a disappointed sigh. “That’s too bad.”

“What do you mean?” Chuuya narrows his eyes. “Wait, do you want me to leave?”

Dazai laughs.

“What’s so funny, bastard?”

“That’s too bad,” Dazai repeats, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Because I was going to ask Chuuya if he wanted to live with me in Tokyo.”

“You’re so f—wait, what?”

“I said, I’m moving to Tokyo a few months after we graduate, and I was going to ask you if you’d like to live together with me.”

“Wait, wait,” Chuuya shakes his head. “You’re moving to Tokyo? I mean… you’re not— you’re not moving to Tokyo just for me, right?”

Dazai snorts. “Wow. You think so highly of yourself, my love.”

“Just answer my damn question!”

“Unfortunately, I am not,” Dazai answers honestly. “Do you remember when we were in Shimoda, and I told you I didn’t know which path to take once I graduate?”

“Of course I do.”

“Well I’ve been thinking about it a lot,” Dazai says. “And I really want to write a book. It’ll probably take me a while to finish a whole book, so I thought why not get a temporary job in the same field? I talked about it with Odasaku, and he said he knows a publishing company that needs an editor. So…”

“So you’re going to write a book. And you’re also going to move to Tokyo to apply as an editor.”

“Yes, that’s the plan,” Dazai answers. “And the cherry on top is living with my boyfriend who will also happen to be working in Tokyo, but apparently he is not moving to Tokyo.”

Chuuya looks like he’s suppressing a smile now. He lightly punches Dazai’s shoulder. “I hate you.”

“Sure you do,” Dazai presses their foreheads together. “So? My offer still stands.” 

“Okay,” Chuuya whispers. “I’ll live in Tokyo with you.”

“Help me with these damn boxes, you good-for-nothing bastard!” 

“But you’re the muscle man between the both of us,” Dazai whines. “You can handle it.”

“Like hell I can! There are still six boxes downstairs!”

“Among the twelve boxes we have, only three are mine.”

“God, I hate you, I hate you so bad.”

Dazai doesn’t even move from his position laying on the glazed porcelain wood tiles in their living room. Their living room. Dazai smiles at the thought.

“What are you fucking smiling about? I’ll step on you.”

Dazai sits up from the floor. Chuuya is standing in front of him, his eyebrows meeting and a frown on his face. There are sweat beads on his forehead, his low ponytail is coming undone, and he has his hands on his hips.

“Chuuya.”

“What?”

“I love you.”

Chuuya rolls his eyes. “That’s not going to work. Get up and help me get the rest of the boxes downstairs.”

Dazai pouts, but he gets up from the floor anyway. They head to the elevators together, and as they wait for the elevator to reach the ground floor, Chuuya reaches for Dazai’s hand and intertwines their fingers together. “I love you too, by the way.”

When the elevator doors open, they both step out together and walk towards the stack of boxes waiting to be brought to their apartment on the seventh floor. They finish bringing all of the boxes up in two trips, and they only finish setting up their bedroom for the day, deciding that they’re both exhausted and will just finish settling in tomorrow. They collapse on their new bed and fall asleep within minutes.

The next morning, Dazai is woken up by sunlight directly shining onto his face. He blinks his eyes open, frowning when he realizes they weren’t able to put curtains on the window.

Dazai closes his eyes again, willing himself to fall back asleep, but the sunlight is bothering him no matter how hard he tries shutting his eyes. He could turn around, but he doesn’t want to turn away from Chuuya.

Dazai sighs, deciding to accept his fate. He opens his eyes again, glancing at Chuuya who’s still asleep.

Dazai smiles, gently pushing the strands of hair covering Chuuya’s face. His heart flutters when he realizes that he’s actually going to have this view every morning for the rest of his life.

Chuuya stirs awake a few minutes later, slowly opening his eyes to the sight of Dazai looking at him. He flashes him a sleepy smile, leaning over to give his boyfriend a peck on the lips. “Good morning.”

“Morning, slug.”

“You’re not gonna run away from me, aren’t you?” Chuuya asks, a playful smile plastered on his lips.

Dazai rolls his eyes, immediately understanding what Chuuya means. “No, I’m not. Not anymore, and not ever.”

Chuuya sighs contentedly, snuggling closer to Dazai. “Good.”

Dazai will wake up everyday to the love of his life next to him, and he will always wonder what he did to deserve such a blessing. He would do it over and over again in every lifetime if he could, because he wouldn’t trade this moment for anything else.