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The Burdens of Self

Chapter 187: The Curse's Boon

Summary:

Holly is called up to Dumbledore's office after her evidence was handed to Professor McGonagal.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Holly glared up at the staff table at dinner, noting with irritation the absence of both Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagal. She'd thought something would have happened by now, after giving McGonagal the detailed accountings of Snape's behavior over the last six years. But not only had nothing been done, but both Professors who should have done something were gone, and Snape was there, sitting at his usual place at the staff table over in front of the Slytherins.

"This had better not be the one time the damned curse doesn't get rid of our defense teacher after a year."

"You need to be patient, Holly." Hermione said from the other side of Ron, "You only gave it to McGonagal yesterday."

"Yesterday morning." Holly corrected her, "They've had nearly two days to do something about it. Damn it, this is why no one's said anything about it all this time."

"I thought no one said anything because none of us wanted to give Snape the satisfaction." Said Ron after swallowing a bite of shepherd's pie.

"Is that really why you didn't say anything, Ron?" Asked Lavender, who was sitting directly opposite her boyfriend. Holly was fairly certain the two had been playing footsie under the table since Lavender and Parvati had come to join them for the evening.

"Why didn't you say anything, then?"

Lavender shrugged, trading a look with Parvati. "Snape might have been unpleasant to us, but it was never as bad as what you two and Neville got. I always thought that if someone was going to say something, it should have been one of you."

"I'm sure they're just looking into things, there was quite a lot on that list and they'll want to verify it before they do anything." Said Hermione.

"It'll get him, if not this than something else." Said Ginny confidently, before letting out a groan. "Not that it'll do us any good at this point." She gestured between herself, Elly, and Luna. "I'm not sure there's anything that could stop the damn Ministry Examiners from giving us our tests. It's exhausting!"

"At least they're more than half over." Said Hermione in a clear attempt to improve the fifth years' mood. Ginny only groaned more loudly in response.

"It feels like they've been going on for a month already. And we've got Herbology tomorrow."

"Which is why we're going to the library tonight." Said Elly, reaching across the table and touching Ginny's hand gently. "Luna's great at herbology, and I don't do too badly in it. We'll make sure you're ready."

"Got a timeturner hidden away somewhere, do you? Because I doubt one night of studying is going to make a difference. Say, Hermione-?"

"Even if I did still have it, no." Hermione shot Ginny a disapproving look. Across the table Lavender and Parvati were looking between the Ravenclaw and each other, clearly uncertain of what it was Ginny was referencing.

"Come on Ginny, I don't think you're going to be eating much more tonight." Said Luna, causing Ginny to examine her plate and the half eaten meal that sat on it.

"You're probably right." Ginny groaned, standing. "Let's just get this over with." She turned to Holly. "I'll see you back in the common room later, yeah?"

"Yeah. Good luck, and I'll see you when you get back." Said Holly, trying to give her girlfriend a reassuring smile.

"I'll need it." Ginny leaned down to peck her on the cheek, before leading the other fifth years in their group from the hall.

"I do not envy them." Said Ron emphatically once they were gone. "Glad we've got exams over and done with."

"Until next year." Said Hermione, "NEWTs are supposed to be much more demanding that OWLs."

"Ugh, don't remind me." Groaned Ron.

"And when precisely would you like to be reminded, Mister Weasley?" Came a familiar brogue from behind. All three of them turned in response to see McGonagal standing there wearing a mask of fixed neutrality.

"Er, Professor McGonagal. Um, sometime next year, I guess?"

"I'm sure that can be arranged." The elderly professor turned to Holly, "In the mean time, there are some people who would like to speak to Miss Potter. Would you come with me, please."

"Oh, of course." Holly pushed away her mostly eaten meal and stood. Ron gave her a thumbs-up, and Hermione shot her an encouraging smile, she even got nods from Padma and Lavender before she started following McGonagal out of the great hall.

She'd only barely gotten through the double doors, held open for her by McGonagal, when she ran straight into something large and solid. She staggered a bit before looking up to find Neville standing there with a worried look on his face. That was odd, he'd eaten fast and had left them to disappear to...wherever it was he'd been vanishing to all year long, only about fifteen minutes ago. He usually disappeared for hours. "Oof. Uh, sorry. You alright, Holly."

"Fine." Said Holly, steadying herself as she took a half step back. "You?"

"Yeah, fine. But it's actually a good thing I bumped into you, there's something I think I aught to tell you." Said Neville hurriedly.

"Did you forget to mention it at dinner?"

Neville shook his head, "I only just found out, but Holly, it's-"

"Mister Longbottom, is your discussion with Miss Potter of dire importance?" McGonagal asked. Neville looked shocked to find her standing there just behind Holly, still holding the door to the great hall partially open.

"Er, I don't think so." Said Neville, his eyes flicking between Holly and their head of house.

"Then I must ask you to put a pin in it until later. There are people waiting on us."

Holly shot her friend a small smile, "See you in the common room when I'm done, you can tell me then."

"Alright. See you then." Said the boy, stepping aside so Holly and McGonagal could pass before walking into the great hall himself.

McGonagal let Holly on a familiar path up to the third floor. "We're going to Dumbledore's office?" She asked.

"Yes. There are some people waiting there to speak with you, as I mentioned."

"Is this about the, er thing I gave you yesterday?" She asked, feeling just a bit uncertain now that something was actually happening.

"It is." McGonagal stopping in front of the gargoyle that guarded the entrance up to Dumbledore's office, turning to face Holly. "Why did you say nothing about any of this before now? If he's treated you like that for years..." She trailed off.

"Everyone always said he was awful, from my first day at Hogwarts. At first I assumed that was just how things were." Holly explained.

"And later?"

"I guess I didn't want him to think he'd gotten to me, so I stuck it out."

McGonagal's lips drew into a thin line as she looked down at her. "As I'd guessed then. But what made you come forward now?"

"It's stupid."

"Miss Potter, the way you have been treated by that man is inexcusable, and I must admit that I feel responsible for not knowing about it all this time. Whatever the reason was, I very much doubt it was stupid."

"My defense final." Holly admitted, feeling embarrassed that something so trivial had been what pushed her over the edge.

"Your shield charm, I presume?"

Holly nodded, "I did more than anyone expected, but he just said it was rubbish because it's not the exact spell he wanted us to use."

"Exact spell? Which spell did you use?" Without a word Holly drew her wand and waved it, conjuring the metal shield she'd used to block Snape's spell on her arm. McGonagal blinked at her, "You're telling me that because you have trouble with the relatively simple charm often used for shielding one's self, you turned to the much more difficult field of conjuration to fulfill the requirement?"

"Um, yes?" Holly responded uncertainly. McGonagal's face contorted strangely, her hand raising to her mouth as she bent forward and she started shaking. "Professor?" Holly asked, wondering if the older woman was having a stroke or something. Should she call Madam Pomfrey? She could use missiculum to have Neville or Elly, or someone fetch her. It was only in the next instant, after McGonagal started making sound, that Holly understood. She was laughing. And not just a chuckle either, but a full body laugh that had her bending nearly double.

"My apologies, Miss Potter." Said McGonagal once she'd finally gotten her fit under enough control that she could form sentences again. "I suspected you might come up with a clever way to work around that requirement, but I never imagined you'd go that far."

"I didn't really have much of a choice." Said Holly, running her fingers through her hair. "And it wasn't really me who found it. Tonks' mum did, and then she gave it to Tonks, who gave it to Ginny."

"Andromeda, yes she is the type to dig something like that up. But don't sell yourself short, just because someone else found the spell, doesn't diminish the feat of learning to cast it silently in less than six months."

"Snape didn't seem impressed." Holly said flatly. The mention of the current defense against the dark arts professor dimmed McGonagal's good mood noticeably, leaving her with the stern expression Holly was more familiar with.

"I suspect that won't be an issue for much longer. Follow me." McGonagal turned to face the gargoyle and gave it the password before leading Holly up the stairs and into the headmaster's office.

The office was the same as ever, filled with whirring and ticking devices of all kinds, the walls covered with the portraits of past headmasters, and Fawkes sitting on his perch off to one side. The only thing different from Holly's previous visits to this office was the presence of two people. A dark skinned man with a neatly trimmed goatee and a series of braids that ran over his head, very close to his scalp before falling down to his shoulders. His robes were charcoal grey and seemed pattered after a muggle three-piece suit, and Holly spotted a similarly colored hat sitting on a table nearby, also muggle inspired by the look of it.

The other person in the office was an older looking woman, her curly hair looked to be in the process of fading from blonde to grey all at once, making the color look rather washed out. Her robes were a pale yellow, with large shoulder pads and a bussiness-like cut that seemed at odds with the cheery color.

Dumbledore stood to greet them as Holly and McGonagal strode through the office, his robes more subdued than normal tonight. "Miss Potter, Professor McGonagal, it's good to see you, though I do wish it were under better circumstances."

"Albus." McGonagal nodded to the headmaster before turning to face the other two, "Marcus, Bertha. I hope you are doing well."

"As well as can be, given the times we live in." The man said, stepping forward and extending a hand to McGonagal, who took it. "And you must be Miss Holly Potter." He said, extending his hand to her in turn.

"Yes." Holly said, taking his hand carefully. McGonagal seemed on good enough terms with him, but Holly still had no idea who he or his compatriot was. "I don't know who you are though."

The man let out a single chuckle, "Of course, where are my manners. Marcus Burton, a pleasure to make your acquaintance. And my friend here is Bertha Green. We're here representing the Hogwarts Board of Governors."

"I...see." Said Holly, looking the pair over again before shooting a glance at McGonagal. "And you wanted to see me? About Snape."

"Professor Snape." Dumbledore said, his tone the mirror of that he'd used to remind her of the man's title before.

Marcus turned to look back at Dumbledore, "Not after today, Headmaster. We can't overlook the actions Severus has taken over the years. All the complaints from parents and students, and you assured us it was under control. What Miss Potter here has revealed though-"

"I was under the impression that your investigation was still underway."

"We concluded it last night." The woman, Bertha, said. Her words were clipped, and her tone that of a consummate professional. "And the board voted this afternoon. Severus Snape is to be removed from his position at once, under the student safety provision of the Hogwarts charter. After examining the evidence submitted by Miss Potter and her contemporaries, as well as the results of our own investigation, the vote was unanimous."

"I will of course comply with the orders of the board, though I do wish to lodge a formal protest of this action. Severus has been an asset to the is school for a great many years." Said Dumbledore.

"You'd still defend him, even after his behavior, his abuses have come to light?" Bertha asked, aghast.

"He's excellent at magic, I have no doubt given his history, but you can't think he should be left unsupervised with children, let alone teach them." Marcus added. Holly could only look up at Dumbledore with confusion. Why was he defending Snape? Did he not believe her?

Dumbledore held up a hand, "I do not defend his actions against Miss Potter, nor the effect he seems to have had on Mister Longbottom, however that does not mean he has not rendered valuable service to this school and those who reside within, in the past."

"There are other teachers, Headmaster." Said Marcus, looking darkly at Dumbledore.

"Few enough, for the position in which he currently resides, but I suppose it was inevitable. As I have stated, I will comply with the order of the board of governors."

"Excellent. I trust you'll have him escorted from the school once we're done here. Now then, Miss Potter-" Marcus had half turned back to Holly before he was interrupted.

"I'm afraid I won't be doing that, Mister Burton."

"Excuse me?" Bertha asked, "That man can not be allowed to remain in close proximity to children."

"Severus will be kept well away from the students." Dumbledore assured her, "He has however called this castle home for many years. I can not in good conscience force him to leave with no notice."

Bertha looked at Dumbledore with a glare that Holly thought would have melted her, she really did seem to be cut from that same cloth as McGonagal. "You will see him gone before the start of the next term, and if you do not I will see you sacked. And this time it will be rightfully done."

"As you say, Madam Green. Now I believe you wished to speak to my pupil?"

Marcus cleared his throat. "Yes, of course." He turned back to Holly. "Miss Potter, I wish to offer my sincerest apologizes to you, on behalf of the entire board of governors. Severus Snape's actions towards you are inexcusable, and would never have been tolerated had we known." He began digging into the inside pocket of his robes. "This isn't much in the way of apology, but it's what we have to offer." He pulled out a parchment envelope and proffered it to Holly. "This will waive up to seven years tuition at Hogwarts, for yourself or one other person of your choosing. Not much use to you now I admit, with only one year ahead of you, but perhaps for one of your children, or another you'd like to help."

Holly looked down at the envelope curiously. It was true that is wasn't much use to her, it was hardly worth using to pay for one more year of school, especially since she knew she could easily afford it. As for kids, she didn't think that was in the cards for her, and even if they were she'd be able to fund the education of any children she did have without trouble. Still, she'd gotten what she really wanted out of this whole thing. "Thank you, Mr. Burton."

"If that is all, then I would like to ask for a moment alone with Miss Potter." Said Dumbledore.

"Albus, what is it-" McGonagal started, but Dumbledore was quick to reassure her.

"It has nothing to do with the business regarding Severus, I assure you. This is an entirely different matter, one of which Miss Potter is already partially aware."

McGonagal drew her lips into a thin line, before turning to Holly. "I can stay with you if you wish, Miss Potter. Both as your head of house and deputy headmistress, I can accompany you to a meeting with a teacher, should you wish it."

"It's fine, Professor." Holly said simply, figuring this might have something to do with horcruxes and memories involving Voldemort.

"As long as you're sure, Miss Potter. I suppose I should inform Severus of the outcome of his investigation. Have a good night."

"Night, Professor." Holly said, leaving McGonagal to leave the room with a somewhat worried glance back over her shoulder. Once she was gone the two governors also bid them farewell, departing through the fireplace with flashes of green flame. And then it was just Holly and Dumbledore. Well, and Fawkes.

"Why did you protest Snape leaving?" Holly asked before Dumbledore had a chance to speak on the topic she suspected he wanted to talk about. She was curious, and didn't think there'd be a better time to find out.

"Pro-" Dumbledore shook his head somewhat mournfully. "I know you had your difficulties with Severus, but he is not a bad man, merely misguided at times."

Holly couldn't help herself, she scoffed. "Try all the time."

"I am sure it could appear that way to you, particularly considering your family's history with him. But trust me when I tell you that he has done good during his time here."

"Like what?"

"Have you forgotten the end of your third year? It was he who carried you and your friends to safety after you were attacked by dementors."

"Hermione and I would have had it handled if he hadn't come along." Said Holly dismissively. Sure his patronus had helped hers fend off the dementors, but her lion had been doing well enough on it's own. It could have done it with just a bit more time...probably.

"It was he who brewed the potion that awoke those who had been petrified the year previous."

"Slughorn could have done that too, if he'd been here. I imagine any potions master you hired could, it's part of the job.

Dumbledore held up his blackened hand. "He has kept this curse from spreading far enough to kill me since I acquired it last summer. And I assure you, that is not a feat many could have accomplished. Your dislike of him is perhaps understandable, but do not let that blind you." Dumbledore gave her a look that was akin to a smile, "But that is not the reason I wished you to remain behind tonight."

"Does it have to do with the horcruxes?" Asked Holly, to which Dumbledore nodded.

"It does. I believe I may have found one, and after my last such excursion I believe it may not be wise for me to go after it alone."

Holly nodded, "So where are we going?"

"I thought you might be eager. However if you are to accompany me then I have a condition that you must swear to follow. If you are unwilling to abide by it then I will have to risk going alone. Do you understand?"

Holly nodded again, more hesitantly this time. "What is it?"

"If you are to accompany me then you are to obey any order I give you, at once, without question." Said Dumbledore sternly.

"Alright."

"This may include orders such as 'run', 'hide', 'go back', or even 'leave me'. You are to obey them, even if you do not agree with them. And you are not to attempt to argue your point. Am I understood."

"Yes, Professor."

"Holly. You will meet my eyes as you swear it."

Holly frowned, she didn't like meeting Dumbledore's eyes anymore. She knew he could be reading her thoughts, had practically announced he'd be doing just that. Still, she felt a need to be part of this. Voldemort was the reason her parents were dead, he'd hurt her family, threatened her friends, had Cedric killed. She intended to put him in the ground, and if the price of being part of that meant following Dumbledore's orders, then she'd do it. She looked up, meeting twinkling blue eyes that seemed able to gaze right through her in a way even Mad-Eye's eye never managed. "I will follow your orders to the best of my ability until we return to the castle."

Dumbledore maintained her gaze for a long moment before nodding, "Very well. Do you have everything you may need?"

"Yes, sir." Holly had started carrying the enchanted bag she'd made with Hermione rather than her usual book bag now that exams were over. There wasn't too much in it right now, but she didn't think there was anything she might need that wasn't inside it. Well, except her Firebolt, but it was too large to fit and she didn't want to risk loosing it if she didn't have an easy way to carry it.

"Then we'd best be off." Said Dumbledore, extending his arm to Holly.

"Wait." Holly's eyes drifted over to the wall, where the Sword of Gryffindor hung, "Shouldn't be bring the sword so we can destroy it?"

"Best not to risk the sword if we don't have to. If we do end up finding a horcrux then we will transport it back to the castle and destroy it here."

"Is that safe? The last horcrux in the castle-"

"Was only a danger because of circumstances that are no longer present. It will be safe enough to have for the short amount of time it will take to get it to the sword. Now then, let's be off. We'll need to get outside the wards before we apparate."

Holly frowned as she turned to follow after the headmaster. "Couldn't you just remove the wards in your office so we can apparate from here?"

"I could, but given the state of things I'd prefer not to leave even a small hole in the defenses of Hogwarts should I not have to. A short walk before we go will do us no harm."

Notes:

This is a bit shorter than normal, but thems the shakes sometimes.