Work Text:
Andrew Minyard hated christmas.
He hated the incessant songs that followed him everywhere; loud and obnoxious droning on about Santa and snowmen that come to life with magic. He hated the movies, each with a sickeningly sweet happy ending. He hated the way people pretended to care about one another, plastering fake smiles on their faces for Christmas cards and office parties. Andrew hated Christmas but what he hated the most was shopping during the month of December.
He hated shopping at any point of the year but there was something especially heinous about being forced to enter a mall during the Christmas season. He hated crowds, especially crowds of people with no sense of personal space. It didn’t matter what pained expression Andrew painted on his face, no amount of furrowing his brows and clenching his jaw faltered the sea of people that engulfed him the moment he stepped foot into the concrete hell.
Christmas was never a happy time for Andrew. Growing up he quickly learned that Santa was nothing more than a lie. A promise of gifts to children who were well behaved and listened to their parents.He never decorated a tree or built a gingerbread house. He never went to the mall to sit on Santa’s lap or laid awake in anticipation on December 24th. For Andrew Christmas was simply an inconvenience he had to endure every year and nothing more. That was until Neil Josten barged into his life and fucked up everything he thought he knew about himself.
It was a normal day for the blonde when he first got the text that would lead him to the mall on that cold December afternoon. He was sitting in the window of his and Neil’s living-room, a smoke dangling loosely from his lips when he heard the sound of his phone dinging. Once. Twice. Then silence. He contemplated ignoring the notifications but fear crept into the back of his mind. He always told Neil to call him if he was in trouble but he wouldn’t put it past the younger boy to text him to say he had been abducted yet again.
Stretching his arms above his head Andrew slowly made his way to the kitchen, eyes glued to the phone placed screen down on the marble countertop. He hated the feeling of anxiety that made a home in his bones anytime Neil was away from him. He wanted to have faith in his boyfriend"s abilities to keep himself alive but death followed the redhead like a magnet and that was something Andrew would never forget.
Picking up the phone he was met with two missed messages, both from Nicky. Relief spread through Andrew’s tense muscles and he went to put the phone back on the counter, messages left unread, when he noticed a blob of red in the corner of his screen. One of his cousin"s messages was a picture. Curiosity got the better of him and he clicked on the notification, a picture of Neil and a stuffed fox flashing on screen.
His eyes were crinkled, small specs of blue barely visible through his long eyelashes. His teeth gleamed white against his tan skin and Andrew couldn’t help but swoon over his gorgeous boyfriend. He loved seeing Neil smile. He wished he could bottle it up and keep it on a chain around his neck for when the younger boy wasn’t around.
Cradled in Neil’s arms was a plush fox, its fur the same colour as his fiery curls. His boyfriend had become infatuated with the animal since starting at Palmetto, a small collection of fox memorabilia had accumulated in the apartment and Andrew pretended not to notice the redhead filling their shared space with the animal.
Under the picture was a single message:
Bookstore in Haywood mall. I made him leave it behind so you could give it to him for Christmas. If you don’t buy it for him I will ;)
Andrew cursed as he realized the real reason behind the picture. His cousin had been bothering him all month about celebrating Christmas with Neil. An old conversation flooded his mind as he roughly threw his phone onto the counter and made his way back to the open window.
“I’m just saying, neither of you ever celebrated Christmas. Wouldn’t it be nice to start a tradition for just the two of you?” Andrew gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white, ignoring Nicky as best he could. “C’mon Andrew don’t you get tired of hating everything all the time. Surely there’s still a little part of you that wishes you could celebrate the way everyone else did growing up.” His cousin was right, the way he often was, though the blonde would never say it out loud. Ever since Neil entered his life he was aware of how little the younger boy had experienced growing up and it always left Andrew feeling hollow. He didn’t care about his own missed memories but thinking of all the things his boyfriend missed out on growing up always left him feeling sick. “Just drop it Nicky or i’ll stab you and leave you on the side of the road to bleed out.” Andrew"s voice was like venom and he almost felt bad for shutting his cousin down when he caught a glimpse of his sad eyes in his peripheral.
Nicky had dropped it and Andrew assumed his cousin had learned his lesson. He should’ve known better than that and he caught himself snickering at the absurdity of it all. A year ago he would’ve been on the phone with Nicky in a matter of seconds, threatening to gut him if he as much as thought of flirting with Neil but the blonde had calmed down a bit since then. Everyone on the team knew better than to mess with the redhead now, ever since he and Andrew started dating it was an unwritten rule: you didn’t touch Neil and you wouldn’t have to deal with Andrew"s violent tendencies.
Lighting another smoke his mind drifted to the image of his boyfriend’s shining face. It pissed Andrew off how simple it was to make Neil smile sometimes. Never in a million years would he have thought of buying the younger boy a stuffed fox. To Andrew it was a stupid childrens toy, nothing more nothing less. He tried to understand what about it possibly could have sparked that level of joy in Neil but he kept coming up empty handed.
Running a rough hand through his hair Andrew tossed the remainder of his smoke out the window and stood up abruptly. He was going to get Neil that stupid fox even if he would rather die than entertain the idea of Christmas.
The drive to the mall wasn’t long but every mile had Andrews chest tightening more and more. His head pounded as he thought about the crowds of strangers that he would soon be faced with. He knew it would be impossible to dodge all of them, it was inevitable that the blonde would get jostled around by at least a few unfamiliar bodies. He expected after all these years that being touched by strangers would get easier but even the slightest brush against his arm when he wasn’t expecting it had the ability to turn him to stone. He had asked Bee about it during one of their sessions and she had told him exactly what he expected to hear: she couldn’t say for sure. Only he could figure that out for himself.
Pulling into the closest parking spot he could find Andrew slowly stepped out of the car. Frigid winter air hit him like a ton of bricks and he wrapped his arms around himself to keep warm as he trudged towards the mall. Families entered and exited the building, the sound of children"s laughter radiated through Andrew’s head and he felt his headache worsen.
The first thing he noticed when he walked into the mall was the noise. A hundred conversations at once battling to be heard over Mariah Carey singing about all she wants for Christmas. It took every ounce of self control Andrew had to push further into the crowd, his eyes scanning for the bookstore Nicky had told him about. It dawned on him that he could have ordered the damn stuffed animal online. All he had to do was text his cousin to ask for the store’s name and he could have it shipped directly to the house, no contact necessary. But if Andrew was one thing it was stubborn and he refused to go home without a gift for his boyfriend.
It took ten minutes of wandering for the blonde to find the bookstore and another twenty minutes of searching to find the plush toy from Neil’s picture. He quickly grabbed the closest one to him and made his way to the cash. The line looped through the front half of the store and Andrew tensed at the realization that it would be at least another fifteen minutes before he made it to the front of the line. Pulling out his phone he took a picture of the stuffed toy and sent it to his cousin. It was a mere minute before he got a response.
I knew you would do it. You’re softer than you think Andrew Minyard.
Groaning Andrew shoved his phone back in his pocket, focusing his eyes on the backs of the couple in front of him. He was struggling not to notice the presence of someone behind him and he could feel a cold sweat coming on. As the line slowly shuffled forward, so did the blonde’s anxiety. By the time he got to the cash he could feel his heartbeat in his ears.
Throwing the fox onto the counter he tried to listen to the cashier’s questions about membership cards and gift receipts but he could feel his eyes turn cold as he looked up to glare at the teenager behind the counter. “It’s Visa.” he said, quickly flashing his card. She nodded quickly and finished the transaction, handing him his bag without another word.
The feeling of the December air felt like heaven as Andrew pushed his way out of the mall and rushed towards the Maserati. Tossing the bag into the passenger seat he bucked himself in and sped out of the parking lot, making a promise to himself to kill Nicky if the stupid fox didn’t make Neil smile like he had in the picture on Christmas morning.
Weeks flew by and every day Andrew contemplated giving his boyfriend his gift. He had ordered a gift bag on amazon and had it shipped to the house, one trip to the mall was enough for a lifetime he had decided. The red and green bag sat hidden in Andrews closet for weeks, taunting him every time he got dressed in the morning. He knew deep down that the redhead would be ecstatic about anything Andrew got him, he had said exactly that to the blonde countless times since they moved in together, but still he couldn’t shake the fear of rejection that settled in his bones as he fought to make it to Christmas day without throwing out the stuffed toy.
Finally the day came. It started like any other, Andrew awoke to the feeling of Neil slipping out of bed to go on his morning run and he pulled the blankets tighter around himself, desperate to escape the cold draft the younger boy had let in. He contemplated going back to sleep but every time he closed his eyes the image of a green and red gift bag invaded his mind until eventually Andrew threw the covers off himself and stomped to the closet, desperate to get it over with. He placed the bag on Neil’s bedside table and crawled back under the protection of his duvet. The redhead could open it when he got back from his run but until then Andrew would sleep.
It was an hour later when the blonde felt a cold hand brushing through his hair, gently bringing him to consciousness.
Neil sat on the edge of the bed, the gift bag sitting awkwardly in his lap as he waited for his boyfriend to fully wake up. “What’s with the bag?” he asked, taking Andrews hand in his. “It’s yours.” the older boy said, rolling his eyes. Neil’s eyes widened at that and he slowly began taking the tissue paper out of the bag, placing it on the floor beneath him. As he lifted the plush toy out of the bag he began to smile, happiness radiating off of him like warm rays of sun.
Andrew took a moment to take in the sight in front of him. He loved Neil so much it scared him. Moments like these left him feeling incredibly exposed and vulnerable but he wouldn’t trade them for the world and he caught himself smirking back at the redhead above him.
“You got this for me? You seriously didn’t need to do that!” Neil’s voice was shaky and Andrew worried he had crossed a boundary when his boyfriend leaned down, stopping just above his face. “Yes or no?” he whispered and Andrew took the chance to capture Neil’s lips with his.
Pulling away he threw his arm across his eyes, too embarrassed to look Neil in the face. “It’s yours. Keep it or don’t.” he tried to keep his tone as annoyed as possible but the redhead could always see through him.
“Merry Christmas Drew. I love it.”