Chapter Text
Regina’s POV
Narda and I continued to sit in silence during the entire class. I still don’t know how to face her or how to start a conversation with her. I’ve been hating her for God knows how long and now, wala naman pala talaga siyang kasalanan. It was my fault for feeling jealous.
I can feel her glancing at times and I do my best to not look affected. Kahit na sa peripheral vision ko lamang siya nakikita, I can see the sadness and hurt in her eyes sa tuwing ini-snob ko siya.
“Pass your notebooks. I will check it at bukas ko na ibabalik.”
I stood up and put my notebook on our teacher’s desk but fate played me.
Sabay kaming nakarating doon ni Narda at kung hindi ba naman sa maharot naming kaklase ay natunggo niya ako. I quickly grabbed her arms to break her fall.
“S-sorry, Regina,” she apologized.
Tumango na lamang ako bilang sagot at bumalik ulit sa upuan ko. Paano ko siya kakausapin kung patuloy akong iiwas? You’re so gulo, Regina.
Kinuha ko ang libro na kanina kong binabasa para ma-distract ang sarili ko. I should gather my shit together kung gusto kong makausap nang maayos si Narda.
“Regina, pwede mo bang isunod sa room ko yung ibang notebooks?”
Nag-angat ako ng tingin kay ma’am at sa mga notebooks na nasa mesa niya. It’s quite many at siguradong mabigat nanaman ang mga ito.
“Sure, ma’am.”
I stood up and got all the notebooks na kaya kong buhatin pero may natira pa rin.
“Tulungan na kita, Regina.”
Narda was suddenly by my side now and got the remaining notebooks.
“Thanks.”
Tahimik kaming sumunod kay ma’am papunta sa kanyang room. We put the notebooks on her desk and bid our goodbyes. Lunch na, sa wakas.
I can feel that Narda wants to say something to me pero nagdadalawang-isip siya at ganoon din ako. Maybe, for now, it's best to choose silence.
***
“Regina, hindi ka ba pupunta sa canteen?”
Brian stood in front of me with Narda behind him. Tipid akong ngumiti at umiling.
“No, I want to take a nap. Hindi rin naman ako gutom. You, guys, can go ahead.”
“A-ah, ganoon ba? Sige. Ikakain ka na lang namin. Bye, Regina!”
I waved at Brian and returned his smile. Nahihiyang tumingin at ngumiti sa akin si Narda.
Her smile looks perfectly carved even though she looks uneasy. I finally let go and gave her a smile.
Pag-alis nilang dalawa ay ako na lang ang naiwan sa room. Right… May ibinigay nga pala si Narda kanina and it looks like food.
I got the plastic bag from under my desk and saw sticky rice. It won’t hurt to try this kakanin, right?
I got my fork from my lunchbox and tried the food that Narda gave.
“Hhhmmm…” I nodded as I analyzed the taste.
Hindi siya ganoon katamis. I like it.
Before I even know it, naubos ko rin yung binigay ni Narda na kakanin. I don’t know much about this kind of food but think that was sapin-sapin and kalamay. I was about to throw the plastic bag but I noticed a small folded paper.
Is this the receipt? Well, there’s only one way to find out.
Neat handwriting welcomed my sight when I opened the paper.
Regina,
Pasensiya na kung na-offend kita o nasaktan kita sa paraan ko ng pagkakasabi/pakikipag-usap kahapon. Hindi ko alam kung paano kita macocomfort kaya ito. Sana magustuhan mo itong kakanin na ibinigay ko. Kakaluto lang niyan! Hehe, yun lang. Eat well! 😊
I stupidly smiled at the letter. How can this girl be this genuine and transparent about how she feels? I mean, lagi rin kasi siyang real talk kung magsalita. Narda doesn’t sugarcoat things and she’s very showy about how she feels. Hindi niya tinatago ang totoo niyang nararamdaman.
“I should definitely talk to her…”
***
“Kuya, wait lang po. Hihintayin ko pa po yung classmate ko for our project,” I reminded Kuya Rey.
I am currently outside the school and waiting for Narda. Hindi kami sabay lumabas ng room dahil ipinatawag siya ng teacher namin beforehand dahil balak niya yatang sumali sa journalism contest. I think she’ll join the editorial writing in Filipino while I, am for editorial writing in English.
I scanned the surroundings and finally saw Narda. She’s walking with Brian and Noah.
“Narda!”
She immediately spots me and waved. I know na nagtataka siya but she chose to say goodbye to Brian and Noah to go to me.
“R-regina… B-bakit mo ko tinawag?”
I sighed and met her gaze.
“Can we talk?”
“S-sige… Tungkol ba saan? Sa project?”
“No, about… Something else. May gagawin ka ba? I want to invite you to our house and talk it over merienda i-if you are f-free…”
Wow. The great ‘Regina Vanguardia’ is stuttering… At sa harap pa ng dating taong hate na hate niya.
I shrugged my thoughts off and focused my gaze on Narda.
“W-wala naman akong gagawin. Sige, tara.”
“Okay, great. Let’s go.”
As we sat inside the van, an unfamiliar feeling rushed inside me. I hope this turns out well.
***
“Sorry kung biglaan kitang niyaya. I can’t really keep it to myself na and mas mabuti na pag-usapan ‘to in person.”
Naglakad kami papunta sa garden at umupo sa inihandang merienda table ni Manang.
“A-ano ba ‘yun, Regina? Pinapakaba mo naman ako.”
“Kain ka muna.” I offered.
“Salamat.”
I let her eat for a moment bago muling magsalita.
“Thank you pala sa bigay mong kakanin kanina. It was delicious.”
“W-wala ‘yun. Okay ka na ba? Ang ibig kong sabihin, a-ah… Kumusta na yung pakiramdam mo?”
“Actually, Narda… Kaya kita pinapunta rito… I want to apologize.”
I put down my tea and looked at her.
“Matagal ko ng crush si Brian and because lagi kayong magkasama, I’ve always been jealous of you. Lagi kayong nag-aasaran at nagtatawanan na para bang kayo lang ang nandoon, walang pakialam sa paligid niyo. Brian is sweet and caring towards you. Ikaw lagi ang hinahanap niya tuwing umaga at hapon, mula pagpasok at pag-uwi. That sparked my jealousy… Na bakit hindi ako ‘yun? Bakit hindi ako yung babaeng hinahanap niya? Bakit hindi ako yung… Yung babaeng magustuhan niya. Maganda naman ako… Mayaman… Matalino… Ano pa bang kulang sa akin at ikaw ang lagi niyang pinipili?”
Narda stopped at what she was doing and nervously waited for me to continue. I’m just going to talk to her. Wala akong balak makipag-argue. I just want to tell her everything, to make her understand why I’ve been cold and rude to her all this time.
“Because of my jealousy, I mistreated you. I don’t know if you notice it but I know I’ve always been cold to you and minsan pa nga, I’m rude. I never smiled back at you, nor agree with your answers to every recitation. I was always annoyed at you. But… It wasn’t your fault. You did nothing but be a great friend to Brian and be a good classmate to me.”
“It was my fault for thinking maliciously. I’m sorry, Narda. I’m sorry because I’ve been rude to you at dahil din pinag-isipan kita ng hindi magagandang bagay. You did not deserve the poor treatment that I gave you and for that, I am so, so, sorry.”
I sincerely looked at her while apologizing. I feel so guilty for treating her that way.
“A-ah… H-Hate mo pala ako? Kaya pala, hehe. P-pero… Okay lang. Wala namang malalang damage na nangyari sa akin, Hindi mo naman ako sinaktan physically or what… Mga irap at pambabara lang naman ang natanggap ko kaya okay na ‘yun. Huwag mo ng isipin ‘yun, Regina. Malayo sa bituka tsaka apology accepted!”
There she is again with her crescent moon shaped eyes and ear-to-ear smile. God, how is she so jovial?
“H-hindi ka galit?” I nervously asked.
“Hindi. Naiintindihan ko naman yung pinanggalingan mo tsaka tapos naman na. Sabi ko nga sa’yo, malayo sa bituka kaya okay na ‘yun. Atleast ngayon, alam mo na ang tungkol kay Brian at nalaman ko rin ang tungkol sa nararamdaman mo. Paano ba ‘yan? Friends na ba tayo nito?” Narda chuckled but I can still feel sadness towards what I did.
“Huy, okay lang talaga, promise! Hindi talaga ako galit. Na-shock lang ako na hate mo pala ako dati,” Narda added.
She suddenly reached out for my hand and caressed it with her thumb.
“Okay lang ako, Regina. Tsaka nagsorry ka naman na at tinanggap ko na yung apology mo… Kaya okay na. Hindi ako galit kaya huwag ka ng malungkot.”
I put my other hand on the top of our hands.
“Thank you, Narda. Thank you for being so understanding and forgiving.”
“Wala ‘yun. That’s what friends are for nga ‘diba? Wait… Friends na ba tayo? Payag ka ba? Kase kung hindi, uuwi na ako,” pagbabanta niya na siya ko namang ikinatawa.
“Joke lang! Pero seryoso na… Pwede naman tayo mag-start over... Friends?”
I nodded at her question and smiled.
“Friends.”
She stood up and engulfed me in a hug. Oh… Okay, she’s really affectionate.
Nagdadalawang-isip pa kong yakapin siya but when I realized that she was not breaking the hug anytime soon, I hugged her back.
“Thank you ulit, Narda.”
“Thank you rin, Regina dahil sinabi mo sa akin ang nararamdaman mo at pumayag kang maging magkaibigan tayo.”
We broke the hug and she went back to her chair. Nagtama ang tingin namin at para kaming mga batang tawa nang tawa without a reason. I’m glad that we’re okay now.
“Ang sarap ng pa-merienda mo, Regina. Baka lagi ako niyang mangapit-bahay dito after school.”
I watched as Narda ate the strawberry-flavored donut. She’s cute when she eats.
“Anytime, Narda.”