Work Text:
“yeonjun hyung, tell me, please!” beomgyu whines into yeonjun’s sleeve, but all he receives in return is an eye roll for a reaction. so much for a reaction, really. “i haven’t got much time, anyway!”
“then stop poking your business in mine.” yeonjun huffs. “go wherever you have to be today . don’t waste your time here.” if it isn’t meant to be bitter, beomgyu doesn’t know what else it could be. so he remains silent despite knowing the annoyed look yeonjun rests on his face.
“but!” he continues to protest. “i don’t understand why you wouldn’t keep your part of the promise. you’re supposed to tell me today!” he’s frustrated, and he hates yeonjun. not really, anyway.
“i didn’t promise you anything willingly, if that matters.” yeonjun points out, and well okay, it’s slightly valid. beomgyu did pressurize yeonjun into promising him anyway. but it doesn’t explain why yeonjun would be such a spoilsport. oh. maybe it’s because that’s what yeonjun actually is . a spoilsport.
“i don’t get it.” beomgyu is fuming with anger and he doesn’t have much time to spare. “why would you be so defensive over it? everyone has crushes!”
so. it all begun a few months ago, when beomgyu and yeonjun sat in the living room and beomgyu made some particular joke about yeonjun being bitchless forever. well, it’s true. there’s nothing to deny, at all. yeonjun has been bitchless ever since forever. he hasn’t looked at any girl or guy for that matter, like ever. naturally, that’s weird.
“yeonjun hyung has never dated.” beomgyu laughs about it, while yeonjun side eyes him with the trademark annoyed look on his face. “it’s so funny!”
“it’s absolutely not.” yeonjun lifts up a finger in the air to silence beomgyu. it doesn’t work. “it’s not funny.” yeonjun clarifies. “you haven’t dated anyone either!”
“false.” beomgyu jumps around gleefully. there’s a particular joy that beomgyu feels upon defeating yeonjun in aspect. “i dated a girl last year. i’m normal! unlike you, who doesn’t open up about their love life to anyone. not even to me, hyung?” beomgyu stops jumping and gets really close to yeonjun’s face. he has a faux pout on his face which is meant to be cute, but it just looks agitating. yeonjun is fuming.
“i guess so.” yeonjun looks away from beomgyu’s fixed eyesight on him. why does he care so much anyway? “i guess i’m too busy to look at people.”
“ayeee.” beomgyu makes a sound which absolutely irks yeonjun. “you can’t be this bad of a liar. c’mon!” beomgyu shakes yeonjun’s hand violently. it’s almost going to fall off. “have you never liked anyone ever?”
“of course i have, beomgyu-yah.” yeonjun replies. “i just don’t like anyone at the moment, that’s all.” maybe there’s a teensy tiny bit of a lie there. but it doesn’t matter.
“such a bore.” beomgyu’s tone gets more and more pestering with passing time. “it’s great fun to be in love.”
“oh really?” yeonjun retaliates. “then tell me, beomgyu-ah.” his plan seems to backfire already. “what does being in love feel like? who is your crush?”
beomgyu gulps uncomfortably. this wasn’t how it was supposed to go. he was supposed to be fishing out information from yeonjun, not the other way round! this is bad.
“me?” beomgyu looks away, and he’s sure that his face is beet red. “that’s not the point, hyung.” it’s a weak strategy. but it works. “the point is your crush.”
surprisingly, yeonjun doesn’t fight it. instead, he just lets out a deep sigh and looks at beomgyu. “what do you want me to do?”
“get a girlfriend.” beomgyu challenges. he knows yeonjun is too much of a pussy to try it. hence the challenge is all the more funny. “or a boyfriend. whatever you prefer. i can give you time till your birthday."
yeonjun thinks hard about it as he stares at beomgyu's face. maybe it's not much of a bad idea. maybe yeonjun does require a significant other in his life. he chooses a more simple answer to beomgyu's demand.
"mind your own business." yeonjun said, and left beomgyu on his own.
well, that had been the eventful story. now in the present, beomgyu annoys yeonjun on the day of his birthday, when he refuses to give him a solid answer.
beomgyu pokes yeonjun a few more times, but he's only met with negative response. beomgyu hates yeonjun to the core. there's no one he hates more than he hates yeonjun at the moment.
"i know you like someone." beomgyu's tone is frustrated and yeonjun thinks that beomgyu's going to keep this on for a longer time. apparently not. "but i'm not bugging you any further." beomgyu proceeds to look at his watch. yeonjun looks up in a subtle manner from the article he was reading on his phone. was beomgyu really going to go?
"as you know, i've got places to be." he shoots yeonjun a look, and when their eyes meet, beomgyu doesn't forget to let him know that he's extremely mad. "happy birthday or whatever." the wish isn't the slightest bit genuine, yet yeonjun remains silent.
he watches as beomgyu exits the room with a heated brain, huffing and mumbling something. there's finally room for yeonjun to breathe again in the room. with beomgyu sitting on his head, his brain doesn't work straight. his brain never worked around beomgyu anyway.
he's been so painfully oblivious to liking beomgyu for the past year in his own eyes, that it's almost a miracle that beomgyu isn't aware that yeonjun is head over heels for him. either that, or beomgyu knows, and just wants to have his share of fun by rejecting him. either way, yeonjun's stuck. with being alone on his birthday, and upsetting his crush over something extremely silly.
for starters, yeonjun is definitely not alone. he's just being dramatic. the rest of the members are home anyway, and he's going to have to pay the company a visit for his birthday vlive too. he doesn't mind it too much, but somewhere, at the back of his mind, there's a small thought - beomgyu hates you now.
but the constant reminder that beomgyu is out with his other friends on his birthday is slightly disheartening. and on top of that yeonjun has managed to send him off in an annoyed manner.
yeonjun goes back into his room to start his day, his special day. he puts on a little smile on his face. it's my birthday, he thinks. he's not going to sulk all day long because beomgyu isn't here. he's going to show everyone that he is, infact, capable of spending his birthday without beomgyu.
happy fucking birthday, choi yeonjun.
|
by the time yeonjun reaches the company, his entire journey to the lounge is eventful. staff members, known and unknown together wish him a happy birthday. he's delighted, he's glad and beomgyu is almost completely out of his head. there's a little segment of yeonjun's brain which is only capable of thinking about one particular human teddy bear. to keep that in check makes yeonjun feel like he's achieved great heights.
then he reaches upon the lounge, where the room is decorated cutely with bunny posters and a few posters of himself. there are solo shots of yeonjun, and then a few pictures that he's taken with his members over the course of time. his eyes skim over the picture of him and beomgyu, though. he remembers the moment where the picture was taken, while they were shooting for a particular to-do episode. it's an old memory, so it makes yeonjun smile a little at the event and the way beomgyu rests his petite face on yeonjun's shoulder.
the vlive goes smoothly, and yeonjun receives more and more birthday wishes from his fans. kai and taehyun visit him during the livestream, and he's thankful for all the gifts that he receives. he succeeds in forgetting about beomgyu for the time being. he doesn't know how, but he's managed to put him out of his head for a while. now beomgyu's back in his mind, creating his own little space like he usually does. yeonjun is used to thinking about beomgyu without an end for hours.
now, when it's time for him to go back home, yeonjun is terrified. sure, he's managed to get through the whole day without beomgyu very successfully, but would he really be able to bear the look on beomgyu's face when he reaches home? yeonjun really hopes that beomgyu's forgotten about the scene from the morning, and when he says he hopes, he internally prays to the gods out there. he doesn't want to receive beomgyu's bitterness as a birthday gift. he wants to see the usual beomgyu, happy and cheerful on his birthday, especially after not seeing him for the entire day.
he turns the knob to the dorm after putting in the passcode, and he's met with silence. sure it's his birthday, things should be lively, but everyone including himself are so tired after such a hard week, that no one really has the energy. yeonjun doesn't seem to mind it one bit though. he's glad he can have some time to himself on his birthday. except it's not really to himself.
yeonjun peeps through doors, and finds beomgyu inside his room. there's eerie silence that resonates in the room, and it's weird - because beomgyu always has music playing in his room. yeonjun looks more closely, and beomgyu looks like he's reading something. he's never done that before. yeonjun is afraid that he's really upset beomgyu so much.
he thinks and gathers up courage to go up to beomgyu and sort it out. after all, would yeonjun be able to sleep peacefully if beomgyu went to bed upset? this is what love is about. keeping the one you love happy. yeonjun is absolutely not sending beomgyu off to bed while he's upset.
yeonjun knocks slightly on the door, and he sees beomgyu get immediately startled on the bed. it's cute, yeonjun thinks, how beomgyu has a reaction to everything.
"come in!" he screams, not sparing the door a single look. the book must be interesting enough for beomgyu to not even notice yeonjun walk into the room. with his short attention span, yeonjun wonders how beomgyu manages to read with so much curiosity. he doesn't look yeonjun's way even once, so he must be invested in his book. huh. what even was so interesting about the book that beomgyu was reading?
"beomgyu." yeonjun calls out, and his voice makes beomgyu look up from his book instantly. there's a little eye contact that makes yeonjun's heart flutter, and there are no signs of beomgyu being mad at him either. yeonjun feels relieved. maybe beomgyu isn't pissed at him after all. and that should mean that yeonjun's purpose for the night is fulfilled. beomgyu isn't going to bed disappointed. so yeonjun should wish him a good night and leave the room. but he doesn't.
"yeonjun hyung!" beomgyu replies, and wow- he's rather cheerful. he puts his book away at once. and it's a simple routine, yeonjun slips into bed with beomgyu easily. he sits next to beomgyu comfortably, but there's something he needs to get off his chest. his body tightens, and he isn't sure if he's got the words to express what he feels.
"hi." he gulps. his throat feels dry. yeonjun thinks he needs water. "how was your day?" yeonjun asks. he knows that beomgyu has been meaning to meet his other friend group for really long. it's quite a bummer that it only had to be on yeonjun's birthday. he doesn't mind much for it though. he's glad if beomgyu's happy.
beomgyu eyes light up yeonjun's world as he speaks about the people he loves. he describes each of his friends in great detail, and by the end of it- yeonjun knows all of their favorite colours. his birthday is almost over in less than an hour, and he thinks he likes the way he's going to be ending it. with beomgyu.
"what bout you, hyung?" beomgyu asks, and he gets a little sad. "i'm sorry i couldn't be here for majority of today." beomgyu stares at his lap and pouts. yeonjun finds it so cute, he could just lean in and capture beomgyu's lips to make everything okay again. beomgyu looks genuinely sad, his eyes tell, and yeonjun loves beomgyu for it.
he loves how beomgyu feels.
yeonjun merely shrugs at beomgyu's question. he knows he shouldn't be petty or bitter about it, but he cannot seem to help it. he did, in all honesty, miss beomgyu's presence around him on is special day. not that it matters that much for yeonjun to sulk anyway. "the usual." yeonjun replies, and he's neither lying or being too modest. "nothing wrong."
it looks like beomgyu tries to say something, but the words die down before he can get them out. yeonjun gets it. he gets it, with beomgyu, all the time. beomgyu looks sad. it breaks yeonjun's heart. "i'm sorry." he repeats again. "really really sorry."
yeonjun doesn't know what he's going to do with all the love he has for beomgyu in his heart. he chooses to ruffle beomgyu's pretty brown hair as a reminder to himself that he loves beomgyu dearly. his one and only sits right in front of him, just before his special day is almost over. what more can one ask for?
"you don't need to be, beomgyu-yah." yeonjun smiles at him. beomgyu doesn't mirror the expression. so yeonjun chooses to bring his hand up to beomgyu's face and turn the curve upside down. it tickles the younger, and he makes a happy little noise. yeonjun feels content.
beomgyu laughs freely to his heart's content. yeonjun laughs along with him. if there's any wish that's left, yeonjun can live without it. but the same boy who laughs because of yeonjun feels worries too. he's back to being serious again. "i even annoyed you in the morning. i was afraid i upset you..."
yeonjun has to inhale exhale before he can get to it. he doesn't think he can chicken out now, when they're like this. he feels raw, as if he's pouring out himself just for beomgyu to see.
"about that." yeonjun clears his throat once again. he feels a little like a loser. a voice in his head tells him, are you ready to risk five years of your friendship for a confession that lasts three seconds? and then there's another which tells him, do it, yeonjun-ah. tell him. so he does.
"hyung can be a bit of a liar sometimes, yeah?" yeonjun feels lame. but it's much too late now. the words have left his lips already, and beomgyu's brain has processed it as well. it's almost like beomgyu seems disappointed that yeonjun likes someone.
"yeah?" beomgyu mirrors. "you like someone?" beomgyu's head spins at a pace he hasn't ever experienced. "i knew it, you just wouldn't tell me, - who, hyung, who do you like, who's the lucky pers-"
yeonjun cuts off his ramble midway. he grabs his hand, and it seems to pull beomgyu out of his trance. "beomgyu." yeonjun says slowly. he stops talking. yeonjun doesn't know what to say next. his heart has never beat his fast before. his head spins at an insane speed. "beomgyu." he calls again, and simply chanting his name makes yeonjun feel some things.
"i'm nervous." yeonjun admits. "like really really nervous right now, beomgyu-ah. my heart's beating real fast." yeonjun smiles. there's a smile spread across his face, and he thinks it's never been wider. but beomgyu isn't smiling. odd.
"yeah." beomgyu says. "i can feel it." the excitement seems to be leaving beomgyu's body. yeonjun doesn't understand why.
yeonjun touches their heads together, and he can quite literally feel beomgyu's eyelashes on his cheeks. "i like this." yeonjun says. "us, together." he gulps for the millionth time. he doesn't know if that's an indication enough. he really wants beomgyu to catch on. he doesn't know how much longer he can beat around the bush.
"i..." beomgyu stammers. "i don't want to assume." he breathes. yeonjun feels so close, he can count beomgyu's eyelashes from his distance. there's no distance between them. "is this a....confession?" beomgyu hesitates, and yeonjun is about to burst into a sob. he doesn't know why.
"yeah." yeonjun breathes. "yeah, yes, beomgyu. it is." he doesn't know if what he's doing is enough.
"a confession...for me?" beomgyu confirms again, like it could be for anyone else. there's a silly little smile on beomgyu's face while he says it. yeonjun hits him playfully on his shoulder. "no stupid, it's for soobin. i love soobin."
the smile fades and beomgyu looks away. "yeah, of course." he says in broken words. "that makes more sense, thank you for opening up to-"
"beomgyu." yeonjun holds him straight. "dummy. dummy. you're the biggest dummy i know. it's not for soobin, pabo-yah. it's for you. i like you. only you."
when yeonjun holds beomgyu's hands in his own again, he feels them shaking. beomgyu's entire body trembles. "me?" he asks one last time. "not soobin?"
"never soobin. only you." yeonjun says. "can we stop talking about soobin?" as much as soobin is his friend, yeonjun doesn't care to think about soobin at the moment. he only sees beomgyu in front of him, and there's more he needs. there's nothing in the world that yeonjun needs when he's got beomgyu with him.
"yeah, yes." beomgyu smiles, and it's a free, happy smile again. he isn't holding anything back, and neither is yeonjun. there's a funny feeling that settles in yeonjun's heart. is this love? "hyung, i like you too." beomgyu says quickly when he realises that he's left yeonjun hanging.
neither of them know which one advances for the hug. all yeonjun knows that seconds later, he finds himself sobbing in the crook of beomgyu's neck. they're all happy tears and all the years of frustration kept in yeonjun. he loves his beomgyu so. there's nothing he'll ever trade for beomgyu.
"don't cry, hyung- aish. my cry baby." beomgyu says, as he threads his fingers through yeonjun's hair. he feels at ease. they've found their home in each other. beomgyu receives a silly, "yeah.yours." in reply. what else does he expect from yeonjun anyway.
and in the middle of the night, when beomgyu lays on yeonjun's chest. he does realise how big choi yeonjun's heart is. he falls asleep to his yeonjun's heart beating beautifully.