Chapter Text
Just say the word
We’ll take on the world
Just say you’re hurt
We’ll face the worse, oh
I can see, see the pain in your eyes
Oh, believe, believe me and I have tried
No I won’t, I won’t pretend
To know what you’ve been through
You should know, I wish it was me and not you
And just say the word,
We’ll take on the world
And just say you’re hurt,
We’ll face the worst
Nobody knows you the way that I know you
Look in my eyes, I will never desert you
And just say the word, we’ll take on the world
And it’s the fight, and the fight of our lives
You and I, we were made to thrive
Oh yeah
And I am your future, I am your past
Never forget we were built to last
Step out of the shadows and into my life
Silence the voices that haunt you inside
We’ll fight, we’ll crawl into the night
I won’t let go, with you by my side
The calm, the storm, we’ll face it all
And just say the word, we’ll take on the world
We’ll take on the world
(Take on the World by You Me at Six)
June 24, 1995 - evening
“Moon…” Sirius cries into the mirror.
“I’m here!” Remus answers before Sirius can even finish the word. He’s been carrying the mirror for so long it’s covered in sweat and his hand is numb.
“Harry’s okay.”
“Oh, thank Merlin.”
“He, um, won the Tournament.”
“Really? Like, who gives a fuck actually, but wow.” Pause. “Are you alright?” Sirius nods. Another pause. “Pads, where are you?”
“I’m in Dumbledore’s office. I’m supposed to wait here until he brings Harry up to see me. I’m meant to be staying as Padfoot, I think, but I wanted to call you as soon as I could.” He lowers his voice, “Moony, I swear these fucking portraits are not actually sleeping and can hear every word I say.”
“Yeah, they do tend to do that.” Remus can’t help but chuckle a bit. He’s relieved and nervous at the same time, feeling a bit punchy actually. Sirius is not smiling though, and by the looks of him, he is feeling very tense. Clearly there’s a bit more going on then just “Harry won and he’s okay.”
“So, I’m not sure how much you heard when I was still in the pumpkin patch.”
“I know McGonagall came to get you. But then you were walking and I couldn’t hear clearly.”
“Right. So, here’s what I know. Harry is mostly fine, although I really need to see him with my own two eyes before I bloody well believe it. But the other Hogwarts champion, Cedric Diggory?” Sirius pauses again. “Christ, Remus, you must have had him in class.”
“I did, yes. Great kid.”
“You might want to sit down, babe. I’m sorry, um, I don't know how to tell you this, but...Cedric is dead.” Remus gasps very loudly and clasps both hands over his mouth. “Something fishy went on and I don’t know exactly what. But Minerva said that someone has been impersonating Moody, probably all year long.”
“Fuck.”
“Yeah, and even worse, she was talking about Voldemort. I think Harry might have seen him…”
“Jesus Christ.” Remus and Sirius take a deep breath together. “Harry will be there soon, no?”
“I sure as shit hope so. I guess they needed him to piece the story together? But I don’t know, Reem, he’s only fourteen. I just knew something like this was going to happen. What do I do now? Voldemort is back? Harry saw him? Fuck, I’m terrified.”
“Me too, love. But one step at a time. First, you make sure Harry is safe.” Sirius lets out a deep sigh and possibly a whimper. “I’ll talk to you until he gets there. And then keep the mirror open so I can hear, even if you’re Padfoot again, yeah?”
“Okay, Moony. I will.” Sirius sounds like a child.
Remus proceeds to talk to Sirius in a calm, soothing voice. He doesn’t feel calm at all, but this is what he needs to be for Sirius right now. At least it gives him something to do for the time being. Remus first describes the most beautiful sunsets he’s seen from the porch of the cottage. But since Sirius is having trouble listening, Remus enlists his help to list, in order, all of the pranks the Marauders engineered in their Hogwarts years.
Finally, they can hear voices outside Dumbledore’s door. Sirius puts the mirror in his pocket and jumps up out of his chair as the door opens.
“Harry, are you all right? I knew it - I knew something like this - what happened?” Sirius is moving, first to the door and then presumably to help Harry sit down. “What happened?” Sirius begs, sounding as if he’s going to break. Remus wishes he could reach right through the mirror and hold his hand.
Remus can hear Dumbledore’s voice explaining to Sirius about how Barty Crouch, Jr. has been impersonating Moody since September. (The tale of how he got out of Azkaban is simply wild, and truthfully Remus has trouble following it.) But Barty’s been working for Voldemort and he’s the one who put Harry’s name in the Goblet. He, as Moody, helped Harry all year long to ensure he got through to the third task, and then he turned the Goblet into a portkey.
“I need to know what happened after you touched the Portkey in the maze, Harry,” says Dumbledore. Remus knows what Sirius is going to say before he says it.
“We can leave that till morning, can’t we, Dumbledore? Let him have a sleep. Let him rest.” Then, just like Remus thought he would, albeit in a lot kinder manner than he expected, Dumbledore asks Harry to demonstrate his courage one more time and tell them what happened.
Remus hears Fawkes, Dumbledore’s phoenix, sing a long note. Fawkes has also taken a liking to Harry, and the song must give the exhausted boy strength, because he calmly begins to tell the story of exactly what occurred earlier that night. In a fucking graveyard.
A couple of times Sirius tries to say something, but Dumbledore must stop him because Harry continues on without interruption. But when Harry mentions Wormtail, and that he pierced Harry’s arm with a dagger, Sirius cries out and jumps up. Remus can feel the wolf inside of him and he wants to jump through the mirror. Fucking rat, you stay away from Harry.
Harry continues on, and Sirius is showing great restraint considering he’s talking about Voldemort emerging from a cauldron, the Death Eaters appearing, and his own attempt to duel with “the Dark Lord” himself. Fourteen years old this kid is, FOURTEEN. Are you hearing this, Prongs?
And then Harry is talking about…Lily. Sirius and Dumbledore are discussing Priori Incantatem, and the shared cores of Harry’s and Voldemort’s wands, and an echo of Cedric Diggory speaking to Harry. The echoes of Lily and James also came out of Harry’s wand, and they helped him to escape - to get to the portkey and back to Hogwarts, bringing Cedric’s body with him. Remus cannot hear Sirius but he is sharing in his despair through the mirror, as if he’s right there in the room beside him.
The tale is finally done, and Dumbledore is beyond kind to Harry, telling him he’s been braver than most and that he has shouldered the responsibilities of an adult wizard. That’s all well and good, but it isn’t fair that he had to. Why they didn’t pull Harry out, or stop the tournament in the first place, Remus still does not understand.
Harry has seen more trauma in his short life than anyone should have to. And it appears that fate and Voldemort are not anywhere near through with him yet. Where will Sirius fit into all of this? And where will he?
Dumbledore wants Harry to spend the night in the hospital wing and (thank Merlin) invites Sirius to go with him. Sirius remembers to pat his pocket three times and promptly transforms into Padfoot.
Remus has half a mind to apparate to Hogsmeade and run all the way to Hogwarts and up to the hospital wing, bad hip and all, but he doesn’t. With the mirror pouch activated, Remus will be able to hear most of what goes on, once they arrive.
From the sounds of it, Molly, Bill, Ron, and Hermione are all waiting for Harry’s arrival. “Harry! Oh, Harry!” Harry’s lucky to have Molly, Remus thinks. Dumbledore instructs them all that they may stay, but they are not to question Harry any further - he needs his rest.
Remus hears Poppy Pomfrey. “Headmaster, may I ask what…”
She’s clearly referring to Padfoot as Dumbledore answers her with, “This dog will be remaining with Harry for a while. I assure you, he is extremely well trained.” If Remus wasn’t so frightened, he’d laugh at that one. Oh, Poppy is not going to be happy when she finds out it was Sirius all along.
Harry, bless his Potter/Evans heart, asks, “Is he okay?” He must be referring to the real Moody, or maybe Viktor Krum? Remus isn’t sure exactly who else is occupying beds in the hospital wing tonight.
Harry assures everyone that he is all right, just tired, and then he presumably drinks the potion Poppy has given him as all goes silent for a while. Remus is grateful that both Harry and Padfoot have some quiet, as well as some company.
But far too soon, there is shouting in the distance, and then Remus hears Molly and Bill talking. The doors burst open and Remus can hear McGonagall and Cornelius Fudge, as well as Dumbledore. And, oh shit, is that Snivellus?
Apparently the Minister has brought a dementor into the castle to act as his bodyguard, and Remus can only presume by the horror in Minerva’s voice that it has gotten to Barty Crouch. Fudge sounds quite irrational, and Remus is once again in awe of Sirius’ self control.
“You are - er - prepared to take Harry’s word on this, are you, Dumbledore?” Oh, Christ, breathe Sirius. Remus is sending every ounce of wizard and werewolf energy he has to Sirius, willing him to stay calm and not do anything rash.
Dumbledore, luckily, continues to defend Harry and to promote his belief that yes, Voldemort is in fact back. Harry is awake now. And, true to his genes, he does not remain silent. Remus can picture the boy’s defiant face as Fudge tries to discredit everything that comes out of his mouth. Be cool, Padfoot, Remus wills. Witness your godson in all his glory.
But then it’s Minerva who interrupts, “You fool!” Go get ‘em, Minnie. “Cedric Diggory! Mr. Crouch! These deaths were not the random work of a lunatic!”
Fudge becomes more unhinged as Dumbledore suggests removing Azkaban from the control of the dementors and sending envoys to the giants. “Now, see here, Dumbledore. I’ve given you free rein, always. I’ve had a lot of respect for you. I might not have agreed with some of your decisions, but I’ve kept quiet. There aren’t many who’d have let you hire werewolves, or keep Hagrid, or…”
Remus jolts and the mirror falls out of his hands onto the floor. “Shit.” And fucking hell, he’s lost the connection. He’s not going to be able to hear anymore of what happens, so he wrings his hands and paces and then runs his hands through his hair a few dozen times as he waits for Sirius to be human again and reconnect the mirrors.
*****
“Rem…”
“I’m here! What’d I miss?”
“When did you lose me?”
“Hmm, right after Fudge said something about hiring werewolves.”
“I was kind of hoping you didn’t hear that part. Fucking dick. How he’s Minister of Magic, I’ll never know. Anyway, so, let’s see. Snivellus pulled his sleeve up and showed the room how clear his dark mark is…”
“He what?!”
“Yeah, he declared right to the room that his and Karkaroff’s marks both burned earlier tonight.”
“Wicked.”
“Right? He still calls him the Dark Lord though, so fuck knows what is actually up with him. More on that in a sec. Oh, Karkaroff fled, by the way.” Sirius then recounts the other events of the night, as if he’s ticking them off on his fingers. “So then Dumbledore told Fudge they were working on the same side as long as Fudge is against Voldemort. Fudge still refused to accept that Voldemort is back. Harry got one thousand Galleons prize money. Bill went off to tell Arthur to rally the allies at the Ministry. Minerva went to speak to Hagrid and Madame Maxime. Poppy took Winky to the kitchens so Dobby could look after her. And…” Sirius pauses.
“There’s more?”
“Snape and Molly know I’m an animagus.” Remus’ jaw drops and he sits there with his mouth hanging open. “Dumbledore wants Snivellus and me to begin to ‘lay aside our old differences and trust each other.’ So, as a sign of a ‘lack of open hostility,’ he made us shake hands. Slimy git.”
“Fuck me. How’d Molly take it?”
“She screamed. But Ron told her to shut up.”
“Sounds like Ron,” Remus actually grins. “But Snivellus. I’m not sure I can trust him.”
“Well, I know for sure that I can not. Guess I’ll have to hone my acting skills.” He pauses. “I honestly have no idea what I’m doing, or how I feel.”
“Well, Christ, that’s understandable. But Harry really is okay?”
“Yeah, he is. Well, not really, you know, but he’s safe for now. His wounds are healing and he's sleeping. What an amazing kid, huh?”
“He’s the best of both of his parents, Pads. I wish more than anything that they could have known him.”
“Me too, Reem,” Sirius sighs, and then smiles almost mischievously. “So, anyway, it’s official.”
“What is? And, by the way, where are you?”
“I had to stop in the cave. I’ll explain later. So…” Sirius pauses dramatically and then continues. “I’ve been told to ‘lie low at Lupin’s’. Guess you’re stuck with me now.”
Remus feels like all the air has been knocked out of him and then all at once he is being blown back up, even fuller, with clean fresh air. Despite all that he has heard tonight, he can feel the corners of his mouth twitching as if they want to smile while he repeats, "Lie low at...mine? Well, what in the name of Merlin and Morgana are you waiting for? Get your arse over here!”
“Trust me, Moony. I’ll be there when I can.”
*****
Remus has been nervous-cleaning for days so the flat is as spotless as it gets. He grabs an old sheet and turns it into a WELCOME HOME SIRIUS sign, complete with paw prints, a crescent moon, and a spattering of stars. He tacks it up on the wall opposite the front door, and then he double checks that Sirius' leather jacket is hanging on the hook by the door.
When Remus finally hears a light scratching on the door, he can’t get to it fast enough. He wrenches the door open and smiles widely at the sight of Padfoot standing on the front step. The dog steps inside and Remus latches the door behind him. Sirius changes back into himself, and Remus swears he feels the earth move under his feet. The expression on Sirius’ face shows at least eight different emotions at once.
“The candle in the window. Did you do that so I could find my way? As soon as I rounded the corner it was guiding me here.”
“What cand…? Oh.” Oh. “Damn, I’m so used to it, I forgot it was there.”
“You have become a beacon in the night for stray dogs and needy wizards looking for shelter in my absence?” Sirius asks in a teasing voice.
“Actually, um…I lit that candle the night I sent my letter to the Ministry asking that they at least give you a fair trial. It’s been burning every night since.”
“Since…since 1981?” Sirius gasps.
Remus takes a deep breath and looks into Sirius’ wide eyes. “It’s silly but it, well, it gave me hope. Just in case. I wanted you to know you were welcome back here. Back home.”
“Home,” Sirius parrots back. His eyes move around the flat and he grins when he spots his jacket. Then he saunters over to get a closer look at the sign, running his hand along the back of the sofa as he passes by. He lifts the keylid on the piano and presses three successive notes, then turns around to face Remus again. He’s a bit flushed from the journey and wearing a shy smile.
“I got here as quickly as I could. Had to settle things with Buckbeak and all. Packed up the stuff in the cave. Then I had to grab that wand we hid. I apparated to an alley close by, but then I thought changing back into Padfoot for the walk here was best…”
Remus doesn’t really register a word Sirius is saying, and he’s looking at him like he’s a Christmas present he can’t wait to open. That invisible string again pulls them towards one another and into each other’s arms.
"Thank Godric," Remus sighs.
"Thank YOU, Moony...for everything."
“You’re safe now,” answers Remus, and Sirius lets out a sigh of relief so powerful Remus thinks it might actually knock him over.
“My home is wherever you are, you know,” Sirius says into his shoulder.
Remus can’t get close enough. He’s pulling Sirius in tighter and tighter, as if he wants to absorb his entire being into his skin. Apparently Sirius feels the same way as he lifts his leg to hook it around Remus’ good hip. Remus lowers one arm to grip him under his thigh. Sirius gasps and re-positions his arms so they are even further around Remus’ torso.
Remus eventually loosens his grip and Sirius lowers his leg back to the ground. Sirius in turn relaxes his arms enough to rub one up and down Remus’ back. Then he pulls his head back ever so slightly and looks into Remus’ eyes with that life-giving eye twinkle. Be still my heart. Remus tucks a stray lock of hair behind Sirius’ ear. “There you are.”
“Here I am.” He runs a finger along the longest scar on Remus’ face. “Hi.”
“Hi.”
It’s impossible to tell who moves first, but suddenly their lips are pressed together. It’s tender at first, the culmination of all these months spent finding their way back to one another through letters and two-way mirrors and cave visits. They pause and smile into each other’s eyes, both of them trembling a bit, but this time not from fear nor cold nor panic. And then their lips meet again, not so gentle this time, as the kiss becomes more exploratory and passionate. Lips and teeth and tongues and skin. Hands running through hair. Fingers gripping the small of a back. Gasps and sighs and repeated whispers of names and nicknames. It’s the result of twenty-three years of friendship and, as it turns out, love.
Remus comes up for air and gasps, “Thank fuck.”
And, just as breathlessly, Sirius whispers, “Finally.”
When you look into my eyes
And you see the crazy gypsy in my soul
It always comes as a surprise
When I feel my withered roots begin to grow
Well, I never had a place
That I could call my very own
But that’s alright, my love
‘Cause you’re my home
When you touch my weary head
And you tell me everything will be alright
You say “use my body for your bed
And my love will keep you warm throughout the night”
Well I’ll never be a stranger
And I’ll never be alone
Wherever we’re together, that’s my home
Home can be the Pennsylvania Turnpike
Indiana’s morning dew
High up in the hills of California
Home is just another word for you
If I travel all my life
And I never get to stop and settle down
Long as I have you by my side
There’s a roof above
And good walls all around
You’re my castle, you’re my cabin
And my instant pleasure dome
I need you in my house
Cause you’re my home
You’re my home
(You’re My Home by Billy Joel)
________________________________________________________
No one ever told me it gets this cold
‘Cause I can see the light running through us both
And I’ve never let anyone this close
‘Cause I’m terrified of being exposed
I’m tired of telling myself the same stories
‘Cause they bore me now
I wish somebody could help me write something else
Now I’m all wrapped up in this heavy coat
I can’t seem to keep myself composed
But it’s dark right now and I’m far from home
But I can see the light running through us both
‘Cause I’m tired of telling myself the same stories
‘Cause they bore me now
I wish somebody could help me write something else
‘Cause it’s always the same old story that tears me up
I think I’ve got a few pages left for us
I think we need a new ending, ending for us
I think we need a new ending, ending for us
I got boxes in the corner of my house
But I can’t seem to throw any of ‘em out
I got boxes in the corner of my house
But I can’t seem to throw any of ‘em out
I think we need a new ending, ending for us
I think we need a new ending, ending for us
And maybe it’s just a beginning, -ginning for us
And maybe it’s just a beginning, -ginning for us
Not the end
(Stories by Jackson Guthy)