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God he hates police stations.
Punz wiped a hand up his face and through his hair, sitting outside the old brick building. It was the middle of the night, but here he was, at a place he despises because his two little shits got caught. He rolled his neck before stepping out and shutting the door of his old yellow Camaro, and walked up the stained steps.
As he steps into the doors, Punz lets out a muted sigh.
The issue with police stations?
No one else wants to be there either, yet here they are.
There’s no line waiting at the bored receptionist’s desk at least, as he walks up. Though he can see why no one wants to talk long when she gives him a dead look, before looking back to her monitor.
“Name?”
“Punz Mercen. I’m here to pick up Purpled Mercen and Tommy Craft.”
“Ah, the teenage street artists.” She typed a few keys in. “Yeah, you can collect your brother. Not the other one.” She said flatly.
Punz had to hold back his annoyance as he pinched his nose. “No, I can get Tommy. His family’s out of town so I’m his temporary guardian. They’re both my charges, thanks.”
The receptionist rolled her head to look back up at Punz, clearly unimpressed with him. Okay, maybe it wasn’t quite legally listed on the police work but the school knew it at least.
The Crafts were great, but Phil and Kristin had to constantly travel half the time, and the twins just both ended up out of town when they graduated, so Tommy ended up under Punz’s wing quite often, especially when he and Purpled are practically attached at the hip.
Is it a mess? Sure.
Punz wouldn’t have it any other way.
…
Except maybe never having to come to a stupid police station. That’d be nice.
“Protocol expects me to get confirmation from the minor’s parents, but seeing that they didn’t pick up, I’m just gonna let this slide.”
“Seeing they’re in the middle of the ocean currently, they probably wouldn’t pick up for a week. School has me listed as the next guardian already.”
The lady gave him an unentertained look. “Keep them out of trouble, otherwise it won’t be easy the next time. And get the parents to update the records.”
Punz held back from audibly sighing, not wanting to piss the lady off anymore. “Yeah, I’ll watch them.”
The lady rolled her eyes before looking back to her monitor, typing a few things before grabbing the phone off the desk. “Go to that door, an officer will be out with them shortly.”
“Thank you ma’am.” Punz said politely, only to turn away and roll his own eyes, moving towards the door, before leaning against the wall, and shut his eyes. God, these two were so lucky he didn’t have work tomorrow.
Eventually, there was a buzz beside him, and the door unlocked, an officer stepping out first before two blond teenagers walked out behind him, one with a guilty scowl, and the other with a guilty grin that tried to play it off like nothing.
“Heeeeeey Punz. How are you, big man?” Tommy asked, trying (and failing) to keep his nerves down.
Purpled rolled his eyes and immediately elbowed Tommy. “Shut up, dude.”
“What?! I could at least try to—”
The police officer put his hands on their shoulders, and lightly pushed them to the door, though it was almost like a fatherly nudge. “It’s late, you two. Start heading home, and I will be asking Tubbo if you two made it to school on time.”
“Aw, but Captain!” Tommy tried, only to be shut down by an unamused stare by the officer. Purpled snickered lightly.
“I always do, I can’t promise this kid though.”
“That is so cruel, Purpled. You’re breaking my heart.”
Punz glanced at the officer, confused before blinking. Oh, wait, he really was tired apparently.
“Jordan, why do you have the late night shift?” Punz asked, only just realizing who was the officer on shift.
The officer gave a tired smile. “Double shift. Everyone wanted this week off, and then Ollie went and broke his arm, so I had to take over.” Jordan sighed, before raising his hand. “Take care of the children.”
Punz snorted. “Will do. If you need something, let me know, and I’ll make these two idiots do it.”
“Aw, c’mon Punz!”
“Punz, please. No.”
“Quiet, you two.” Punz flatly remarked, as the Captain chuckled.
“I’ll let you know. Good night, guys.” The officer turned and headed back inside.
The two teens hesitantly looked up to their guardian, who gave an unamused look. “Come on, let's get going.” The adult remarked, before he headed towards the door.
The two teens walked behind him, falling oddly quiet. When he’s used to their noise and constant bickering or general chatter, hearing them be completely silent is almost unsettling.
Punz snorted imagining the guilt on their faces instead.
There was a quiet affronted gasp from one of them, (Tommy, probably), but before they said anything aloud to him, there was a quiet muttering between them that Punz didn’t bother straining his ears to hear.
He didn’t say a word about it either, just carried on walking. He didn’t really mind. Though, before they reached the car, Punz stopped. He heard the two stop behind him, along with their quiet mumblings, but no one said anything for a moment.
After a few seconds, it was Tommy that spoke up first. “Punz, we’re sorry for making you come get us.”
“Yeah, we’re really sorry. Even if it was Tommy’s fault you had to.”
Tommy sputtered. “W-What- You dickhead! You’re responsible too! We could’ve made it out!”
“No, we could’ve just probably broken a leg. Well, you would’ve, I would’ve been fine.”
“HOW DARE YOU! I AM GREAT AT PARKOUR!”
“Just like your art skills being limited to drawing giant dicks.”
“Oh, mi mi mi, I’m Purpled, I’m soooooooo great at everything I do!”
“Well I’m better at it then you!”
“You think so? Oh, well why don’t we—”
Punz turned around, cutting the argument off by reaching forward, grabbing both of the boys by wrapping his hand around the back of their heads, and pulled them both into him for a hug. “I’m glad you little shits are fine.”
The two froze up, but eventually both wrapped their arms around the older one.
“Thanks for the pick up, Punzo.” Tommy mumbled, and elbowed Purpled.
Purpled retaliated by stepping on Tommy’s foot, and while the younger one hissed, he grinned and spoke up. “Thanks Punz. You aren’t so bad sometimes.” He commented.
“Yeah yeah, shut up brats. You already know I did this when I was younger anyways.” Punz rolled his eyes, looking down at the two of them. “Tagging public property’s the best, I’m proud.” He gave a devious grin.
“Fuck yeah it is!” Tommy cheered, pulling out of the hug to pump his hands in the air.
Purpled rolled his eyes, and pulled away as well. “Well, we did learn it from you and Techno anyways, I’d hope you wouldn’t be mad at us for it.”
Punz snorted, shaking his head. “Yeah yeah. Get in the car idiots, I still want sleep. Lucky as fuck that I don’t have work, but you still have school.”
The two groaned, but nodded as they headed towards the backseat doors to sit.
Punz grinned as he watched before moving towards the door, but paused right next to it. “Oh yeah. You’re both grounded still.”
“What?!” “Fucking hell—” They both shouted in protests.
“You literally said you did this when you were younger! And that you were proud! What the hell?” Purpled complained.
“Yeah, but the difference was, I didn’t get caught.” Punz smirked. “You’re grounded for causing trouble for Jordan. Maybe this time, you learn to be sneakier.”
“Oh come on, it’s not our fault we had to boost Ranboo and Freddie out because they suck at jumping!”
“Is that why the lady at the front desk called you self-sacrificial? Come on, I thought I raised you better than that.” Punz joked, as he grabbed the driver’s side car door and opened it. “Every man for himself.”
“See! I told you!” Purpled complained.
“Well, I am not a little bitch, Purpled.” Tommy sassed back, as the two began getting into the car.
“You literally shouted to get out of the way when we first saw the cops.”
“I DID NOT—!”
Punz rolled his eyes at their antics, as he got ready to drive. Fucking idiot kids.
Well, they are his idiot kids. And he wouldn’t have it any other way.