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His God and His Lover

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The glitch came back another week later. It was in a distant area of the Overworld. As far as Xisuma knew, no one had any projects so absurdly far away, so it wasn't an immediate danger. He made the hesitant decision to observe it from the admin control room instead of investigating it in person. While he didn't think he would "scare it off" as Scar had joked, it was possible if it was a manufactured glitch that it could have a safety protocol to deactivate if he got too close.

 

The code went wild. The longer Xisuma watched, the more he realized that nothing about the world or its inhabitants was being altered. It was simply as if there was an entity that the Server didn't understand. The presence of a non-whitelisted player would explain it, but X knew what player code looked like, and this definitely wasn't it.

 

He closed his eyes and briefly prayed. He needed guidance. He had no idea how to contain the glitch, how to predict it, or how to fix it. He was honestly beginning to panic a little. What if it was malicious? A virus?

 

He prayed for calm and patience. He would get nowhere in a frenzy. The tension slowly eased from his body, and he took a deep breath. Was this what it felt like to be heard? He felt at peace.

 

He opened his eyes and went back to watching the glitch's behavior. Its coordinates were moving — too smooth to be running on uneven terrain, but Xisuma likened the way the numbers moved to that of a minecart or elytra.

 

His eyes were pulled away when his communicator buzzed.

 

<MumboJumbo> has anyone seen the moon lately 

<Bdoubleo100> why would you? go to sleep 

<MumboJumbo> seriously. can someone confirm that I'm not mad 

<MumboJumbo> it looks bigger than normal 

 

X went outside. The moon was definitely bigger. But how? The orbits of the sun and moon weren't things he — or anyone else — could change, right? He ran back into the admin control room. It simply wasn't part of the code.

 

He started pacing. Think, Xisuma, he scorned himself. Something clearly caused this. If it wasn't in code he could alter, then it had to be something else. But what?

 

Silence suddenly filled the room. The alarm, which he had long since tuned out, stopped going off. The glitch. It would make sense, but it was a terrifying explanation because it meant the glitch had more power over the Server than he did. How was he supposed to fix it?

 

His communicator buzzed again, but he ignored it, trying to think. Then the buzzing continued, and he gave in and looked at it.

 

Server: Grian experienced kinetic energy 

<TangoTek> rip

<PearlescentMoon> you ok?

<impulseSV> do you need someone to get your stuff 

<MumboJumbo> has anyone even seen grian recently 

<PearlescentMoon> mumbo. cave. quickly.

 

Grian was not one to die by elytra. He also wasn't responding. The panic already filling Xisuma's chest rose even higher.

 

<You whisper to PearlescentMoon> Is everything okay?

<PearlescentMoon whispers to you> Grian respawned and he's freaking out. I don't know what's wrong. I think he's having a panic attack.

<PearlescentMoon whispers to you> I should be far enough away if you want to tp 

 

She didn't need to offer twice. Xisuma was standing at her side in an instant. He quickly evaluated what he was observing. Grian was sitting on a bed, curled tightly into a ball. Mumbo was trying to carefully approach him.

 

"Hey, Gri," Mumbo said softly. "What's wrong?"

 

"I'm sorry," Grian mumbled. "I'm sorry. It's my fault. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. Please—"

 

"Grian," Mumbo cut him off. "It's okay. Can you take a couple of deep breaths for me?" He waited a few moments before carefully sitting down on the end of the bed. "Do you want a hug?" When he got no response, he gently tried again, "Grian?"

 

And then everything was a blur. Grian was speaking galactic, but it wasn't the soft sweetness of the last time Xisuma heard it. It was furious, hostile, and vicious. It was afraid .

 

"That's not my name!"

 

Xisuma wasn't looking at Grian when he snapped. An alarm flashed across his helmet. The glitch was back, right where Grian was sitting. It was present and gone in a second. When Xisuma looked back up, Pearl was blocking his view of Grian, and Mumbo was stumbling back, a look of terror on his face. What happened?

 

"Pearl..." Grian's voice, back in common, was a broken whisper. "Not you, too... I'm not going to hurt you. I could never—"

 

"I know," Pearl reassures, still blocking Xisuma's view. "You gave everything to protect me. I know you would never knowingly hurt us. I'm trying to protect you, Grian, from Xisuma."

 

What? "Pearl, what—" She grabbed his arm to keep him from moving.

 

"It's okay," Grian whispered after a moment. "I'm okay. Thank you."

 

Pearl let Xisuma go and stepped aside. Grian was still curled in a ball, and although he was motionless, tears were running down his face. X nodded Pearl in Mumbo's direction before slowly approaching Grian.

 

"I'm sorry," Grian said again. He looked anywhere besides Xisuma. "I didn't mean to cause so much trouble. I... I can go. I don't want to put you in danger."

 

Xisuma's heart broke into a thousand pieces. "Do you want to go?" Grian shook his head, and X gently grabbed his hand. "Good, because I want you to stay."

 

"But I—"

 

"Shh. You're staying until you want to leave. The Grian I know and love would never give me any reason to need to make him leave." Xisuma gently rested his free hand on Grian's face, wiping away stray tears. "How about we head to bed and we can talk in the morning? I can pay you back for last week."

 

Grian laughed a little, wiping away the rest of his tears. "Okay." Xisuma led them both into Grian's starter base where they can be left alone to rest. Grian hugs him tight as they lay together, and he gently rubs the smaller man's back, trying to soothe him to sleep.

 

Xisuma didn't sleep. He didn't feel like he could. Between the moon, the glitch, and Grian, there was too much going on in his head.

 

And so he prayed. Doing so helped him calm down, even if he didn't have that supernatural feeling of being listened to as he had experienced earlier.

 

Everything was going to be okay. They had gotten through everything before. They would be able to get through this, too.

 

X tried to set his worries aside long enough to enjoy the situation he was in. Sure, the circumstances that brought him here weren't great, but he really loved getting to rest with Grian like this. He would give so much to be able to wake up to the sight of Grian every morning.

 

Grian seemed to share that sentiment when he woke up, slowly smiling at Xisuma. But then Grian blinked, and the expression washed away. It looked like the night's events were slowly coming back to him. He slowly sat up, his eyes full of fear and sorrow.

 

"It's okay," Xisuma reassured as he sat up. He tried to keep his voice as soft and caring as he could manage.

 

Grian quickly shook his head. "I messed up. I scared them. I put us in danger. I—" He abruptly stopped talking when Xisuma gently held his hand.

 

"Take a deep breath. Things might be a bit hectic right now, but we're going to get through it." He rubbed gentle circles into the back of Grian's hand with his thumb. "Would it be more helpful to talk now, or do you want to wait a bit?"

 

Grian curled up into a ball, but he didn't hide his face this time. X also noted that he didn't let go of his hand. "I don't even know where to start."

 

"You think you're putting us in danger?" Xisuma asked. It was the logical place to start. He hoped to reassure Grian that there wasn't a danger, but in the event that there was a danger, he needed to know.

 

"It might not actually be my fault," Grian said, "but I think I may have caused it. The moon thing."

 

"The glitch," Xisuma whispered. "It's tied to you?" He was already beginning to assume as such, but Grian then shook his head.

 

"Not tied to me. It is me."

 

"But it wasn't player code."

 

Grian stared at him like he was missing the obvious. "You're really going to make me do this the hard way, aren't you?" He sighed. "How much did Pearl tell you about our shared history with Them?"

 

Them? The only time he had directly spoken with Pearl about her history with Grian... Oh. "They came to your Server and threatened your friends. They took you..." It hurt Xisuma to even talk about it, but it only got worse when he remembered how Pearl had started the discussion.

 

"But you know what some of them have done. How they would kidnap players and try to make them into Watchers."

 

They didn't just take Grian.

 

X's eyes blew wide, and he leaned away from Grian, letting his hand go.

 

Grian was a Watcher.

 

Xisuma was in love with a god.

 

Grian's gaze shifted between Xisuma's face and his now empty hand before curling up tighter and burying his face in his arms. Guilt hammered in Xisuma's chest. Right now, Grian was the man he loved first and everything else second. And he was hurting.

 

With only a moment of reluctance, Xisuma took off his helmet and set it on the end of the bed. He took a few steadying breaths to adjust to the heavier Overworld air, then leaned over and pressed a gentle kiss to the top of Grian's head. The blonde lifted his head, his face painted with surprise. Xisuma offered his hand in case Grian wanted to take it again.

 

"I'm sorry for lying to you all this time," Grian whispered as he intertwined his fingers with Xisuma's.

 

"You weren't lying," X corrected. "You just had a secret you didn't want to share, and that's okay. Every Hermit has their secrets. And I know that I'm in the minority, that most people look at Watchers in fear or wrath. I can only imagine how scary it is for you to have to keep this to yourself. And I can only assume that you don't want to be one of Them."

 

"Just Grian. I just want to be Grian. Not... Not one Them. Just who I was before."

 

Xisuma gently squeezed his hand. "Okay. Just Grian."

 

He remembered when Grian had lashed out at Mumbo. He hadn't been himself. He was the Watcher, not Grian. (Maybe, when everything calmed down, he would ask Grian what he called himself as a Watcher. He wondered if he had heard of him.)

 

Grian also seemed to be remembering. "I need to go and apologize to Mumbo," he said with a shaky sigh, "but I don't know if he'll want to see me again. He looked at me like I was a monster, and I can't even blame him."

 

"I'm sure he'll understand. You're still his friend. And Pearl and I are here to help if you need us."

 

Grian nodded and went to get up, but then he hesitated. "Doesn't that bother you?" He made a gesture to the discarded helmet.

 

"Yeah, I should probably put it back on."

 

"You took it off to kiss me." He made the observation so bluntly that it made Xisuma blush.

 

"...Yes?"

 

"Then I probably shouldn't waste the opportunity." Grian leaned over to kiss his cheek before grabbing the helmet and securing it back on his head.

 

Xisuma's brain stopped working. It was a real-life blue screen while he tried to process that Grian, the man he had been crushing on for years now, just kissed him.

 

"Are you coming?"

 

When Xisuma tuned back in, Grian was standing by the door to leave his starter base. He rushed to catch up, and the pair of them made their way to Mumbo's megabase. It didn't go unnoticed that Grian was staying a step behind Xisuma.

 

"Mumbo?" X called as they walked inside.

 

Pearl stepped into sight with a quiet, "Ah."

 

"How is he?" Grian asked nervously.

 

"Frightened," Pearl answered, surprisingly less emotive than usual, "but he wants to talk to you. He's worried you don't want to, though."

 

"Good to know we're in the same boat at least."

 

Pearl led them to where Mumbo was sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall. His eyes went wide at the sight of Grian.

 

"I'm sorry," Grian and Mumbo said at the same time.

 

Pearl smiled slightly. "We'll leave you to talk. We're just one message away if you need anything." Mumbo and Grian both nodded, and Pearl ushered Xisuma outside. "How did everything go with you two?"

 

"Alright, I think. He filled me in on a few things. That he's... one of Them, and that he caused the glitch." Xisuma didn't want to refer to Grian as a Watcher in case someone overheard them. He paused in thought. "You knew, didn't you? He was in your house the day it started."

 

"Yes and no," Pearl sighed. "I knew the day you brought him to meet me that he was one of Them. There was no way he would've lived if They hadn't turned him. They would've kept trying to turn him until it killed him. He came to me when he had the idea to attempt switching back – to release the power he had been repressing. He didn't want you to see him, so he asked me to keep watch. The glitch was unexpected. He said that They didn't appear as glitches — no more than a blip on an admin's radar — but there was something about switching his code that made him stand out. He thought that he could get to 'blip on the radar' status if he had long enough to rein in his code. Thankfully, the glitch made you announce your arrival, giving him time to revert to Grian."

 

"It's ironic that he's scared of me seeing him like that when I'm one of the few people guaranteed to not face him with fear or violence."

 

"You'd revere him. Treat him like a god. That's worse."

 

"I can keep the two of them apart. He wants me to just treat him as Grian, so I'm going to do my best to do that. He's my friend above everything else."

 

Pearl laughed flatly. "Well, I can tell he left out a few major details, but he'll get there eventually. Also, your friend? Seriously?"

 

"Okay, more than a friend," X laughed at himself. "I mean, we're at a sort of midpoint of flirting, but I haven't officially asked him out or anything."

 

"Void, you could cut the romantic tension between you two with a sword," Pearl laughed, sounding more genuine. "Though, it's probably for the best that you put off asking him out until he drops that last bombshell on you."

 

"And how am I supposed to know when that's happened?"

 

"Oh, you'll know."