Chapter Text
Sunghoon’s honestly surprised when opens his eyes again. It’s bright wherever he is, and he can’t believe he’s not dead, that Stephen didn’t take that chance to suck him dry in a non-sexual-innuendo, literally-because-he’s-a-vampire way. It’s not like the movies, where the main character forgets what’s happened to them for some momentary peace when they wake up- Sunghoon remembers it all too well.
His forearms are bandaged all the way up to the elbows, where the splitting of the jagged marks must have stopped. Sunghoon sees antibiotic cream and gauze on the dark wood nightstand- it looks old and distinctly gothic, meaning he’s definitely still in Stephen’s house.
As he turns to look to his left, Sunghoon physically jumps- on the king sized bed next to him lay Sunoo and Jungwon, cuddled together, and in an armchair in the corner, some gangly guy Sunghoon’s never even seen before.
He gets one leg off the bed, but as if Sunoo could sense it (he probably fucking could, actually) his eyes snap open and zero in on Sunghoon, who was quietly attempting to remove himself from this situation, whatever this situation is.
Defeated, he swings his leg back up and lets his full body rest against Stephen’s strange but very comfortable bed frame. It looks like the kind of thing plague-ridden Victorian children die in, and it’s creeping Sunghoon out a lot. Which he gets over quickly, because it really has a nice mattress.
“I heard you wake up.” A voice interrupts.
Sunghoon jumps, jarring Sunoo, who looked less than pleased. It’s Stephen, and he’s standing in the doorway, still in his getup from last night, down to the boots. At the sight, Sunghoon’s head throbs- the heels on those things are surprisingly hard, as he would know.
How he ended up here is simple, Sunghoon finds out. Stephen smelled the blood from inside the party when his shit started going down, ran to find his Necromancer Friend (unnamed man asleep in the chair, Sunghoon notes) in case someone was dying or something, and found Sunghoon in the very much destroyed rose garden. Stephen sounds specifically annoyed at the last part, not that Sunghoon can blame him.
Stephen explains that he knocked him out only to stop the mental activity causing his magic to go haywire- which Sunghoon understands, of course, but he kind of really feels like there could have been another option that didn’t involve him getting a giant bruise on his temple.
Sunghoon’s stomach drops when he remembers what- no, who, caused the incident last night. As anxiety kicks into his chest, the air pressure in the room falls, causing the Necromancer Friend to stir awake.
“Seriously, Sunghoon?” The guy bristles, as if they’ve met before.
The confusion must show, because Sunoo scoffs loudly, causing Jungwon to wake as well.
“This is Jenny Cide, dumbass.” Says Sunoo, before sliding back down into the plush sheets and half-rolling comfortably onto Jungwon, clearly not wanting to be conscious yet.
His attempt to go back to sleep is short lived, because Stephen requests a group meeting in the kitchen, ASAP. Sunghoon drags himself up and off of the (comfortable, and very warm) mattress and tries to ignore the sounds of Sunoo coddling Jungwon to full consciousness. He’s picking up on some kind of vibe coming from over there, and he doesn’t even want to think about it, really.
Stephen’s house looks different in the daytime, without the eerie red lighting to set the Halloween mood, more like some cool old library than a haunted mansion. It’s still a mess from last night, cups and trash scattered all around, but the kitchen is surprisingly clean, counters freshly wiped down- Stephen was definitely planning for this recon, it seems.
They all sit in a circle at a dining table and Sunghoon’s a little nervous at the way they’re all looking around at each other. Stephen’s fiddling around with stuff at the kitchen counter while himself, Sunoo, Jungwon and Jenny Cide (who he now knows to be Riki) are avoiding eye contact. It’s getting a little too close to a group therapy vibe, and he absolutely does not want to face emotional vulnerability in this current situation. Sunoo tries to grab an unopened bottle of soju from underneath the table, but Jungwon wrestles it out of his grip with ease, replacing the bottle with his hand. Sunghoon’s going to be sick.
Stephen eventually joins them at the table, sliding a bottle of apple juice into the center. Sunghoon snatches it, narrowly beating Riki to the claim. He takes a sip and finds Stephen staring intently, like he’s expecting something, once he puts the bottle down.
Stephen lets out an exasperated sigh, like he really doesn’t want to Deal With It. Neither does Sunghoon, but it seems he won’t be escaping this one.
“I’m going to need someone to fill me in on what exactly happened last night,” he says curtly. All eyes fall to Sunghoon, obviously.
Sunghoon takes a deep breath and lets everything spill out, unrelenting as a torrential downpour. From realizing he likes men, to ignoring that he likes Jongseong, to everything colliding and fucking up at once.
By the time Sunghoon finishes, there are four pairs of eyes trained on him, unimpressed.
“I’m sorry,” Jungwon starts, “I just feel like I need to cut in, and, like, clarify. Did you say you realized you like men on the day you walked in on us?”
The ‘us’ is implied, Jungwon and Jongseong, but not specified- the two of them both know exactly what Jungwon is referencing. Sunghoon grimaces, he ought to feel some more shame for that, maybe.
The sight of distress on his face seems to be the best possible response Sunghoon could’ve mustered, because Jungwon starts laughing maniacally, in between breaths wheezing out that it’s “the best thing he’s ever heard,” and that he’s “highly complimented and honored to be of service.”
Stephen, meanwhile, looks like he’d rather be anywhere else.
“So, you’re telling me the reason you destroyed my garden and tore yourself up is because you got rejected?” He cuts in. “Isn’t that a bit…”
“Dramatic?” Riki finishes. He’d been so quiet until then that Sunghoon almost forgot he was there.
“I think..” mutters Sunghoon.
Being the center of attention is starting to stress him out. Sunghoon’s shaking his leg and praying not to spark anything- though he’s so tired it seems he can’t even muster up a jolt of energy, thankfully.
“I think I really like him.” He finishes. Sunghoon can feel his cheeks flaming. Riki hums at him mockingly.
“Alright, look,” Stephen sighs again. He’s trying to look sympathetic, but mostly failing. “You can stay here until tomorrow, but on Wednesday you need to actually go fix your shit.”
Sunghoon nods in agreement. He’s started picking at the wrappings around his arms out of anxiousness, and everyone is just watching him silently. It’s nauseating and he’s about to get up and retreat to one of Stephen’s bedrooms to hibernate until he’s kicked out when Sunoo proposes a genius, fix-all idea:
“Does anyone want McBreakfast?”
-
Sunghoon realizes he’s been missing a huge part of Jongseong when he returns to Studio halfway through the week. He’s feeling worse for wear at the thought of seeing him, unsure what to expect from the older, who clearly wants nothing to do with him. It’s reflecting unconsciously in Sunghoon’s body, feeling his fingers spark the second he catches Jongsung’s eye during the practice session.
Jongseong is watching him with a blank expression when things start going awry. The sight of him staring Sunghoon down makes his stomach do flips. His fingers start sparking, because why wouldn’t they, and everything around him feels static. Sunghoon is vaguely aware that there are other people in the room- a few of the students having noticed, eyeing him uneasily. He only has eyes for Jongseong, who’s still staring back at him, unreadable.
There’s a strange tension between them, like a pull. Sunghoon can’t really describe it, and he can’t look away. It’s been too long since he’s seen Jongseong, even if it’s only two days.
Jongseong breaks his tunnel vision to look up- the lights are flickering, and then they die all together.
Oh, fuck, Sunghoon thinks. I did that.
The Professor is looking at him now too, concerned, and everything very quickly falls out of control. Sunghoon’s breath hitches and his emotions are flying off the hook. He made a mistake coming to class today, for sure. Sunghoon’s not ready to see Jongseong again so soon, but it’s too late to go back now. Anxiety hits him hard, and he stumbles until he’s flat against the wall in the back of the room.
When he looks up, Jongseong’s eyes are trained on him. Sunghoon can’t bring himself to return the gaze for longer than a second. The lights are flickering again and the Professor is saying something to him but it’s coming out warbled, that underwater feeling again. Something stings and Sunghoon looks down at his arms, clawing his sleeves up. Blood is blossoming through the bandages- his power is tearing him up from the inside out, just like before.
Sunghoon laughs sadly. It seems like all he can do in the moment, without Stephen to knock him out, even the Professor unsure of what to do. The sound of footsteps running at him shifts his vision up, and it’s Jongseong.
You’re going to get hurt, Sunghoon thinks. You should get out of here, away from me. He can’t say anything, his voice is failing him. This close up, he can tell that Jongseong hasn’t been sleeping well, dark circles sunken under his eyes, and his hair a little messier than usual. He still looks beautiful to Sunghoon.
It’s then that Sunghoon realizes Jongseong is talking to him. He stares back, unable to hear anything over the ringing in his ears. The room smells metallic, like a storm is rolling in. Sunghoon feels blood drip down his hand, watches it fall to the floor. He looks back up and reads Jongseong’s lips-
“I’m sorry.” He’s saying, over and over.
Then, Jongseong plants his palms firmly on Sunghoon’s chest. It’s searing, like he’s ripping something out of Sunghoon’s very being, and then he suddenly feels nothing at all.
Sunghoon’s knees give out and he collapses to the ground when Jongseong removes his hands. The other is quick to catch him, lowering him down before he hurts himself more. Sunghoon’s staring up at the ceiling of the classroom as the lights flicker back on, burning his vision. He shuts his eyes for a second, opening them again because Jongseong’s moved a hand under Sunghoon’s head.
Sounds are coming back and he realizes that the other is crying, holding Sunghoon’s head in his lap as he’s laying flat on the ground. Sunghoon realizes belatedly that his power is not just quelled, but gone entirely. Jongseong has taken it, and on the cold tile of the floor Sunghoon learns one more thing about his roommate. His specialty is not Potions because he was born with it, what he was born with was the ability to Take. At the moment, Sunghoon can’t find himself to care.
He feels truly normal for the first time, no storm quelling inside him, just flesh and blood. Sunghoon lifts a shaky hand up to wipe a tear off Jongseong’s cheek. Everything’s a little black and fuzzy around the edges, but he feels the warmth of Jongseong’s hand against his own and shuts his eyes again, the sound of sirens lulling him into darkness.
-
The next time Sunghoon wakes up, he’s in a hospital bed. Jongseong is sitting in a chair next to him and the severity of whatever the fuck just happened comes crashing down. He hears the beeping of the heart monitor increase and braces himself for something, sparks or rain or whatever, but nothing comes.
He throws a glance at Jongseong- his power is still gone. If he really focuses, he can pick up on the vibrations of magic around him, meaning he still has magic, just not his magic. Sunghoon can’t find it in himself to miss it, comforted by the quell of nothingness that has replaced his storm.
A nurse comes in to check on him, which causes Jongseong to jolt awake. They’re just staring at each other straight in the eyes as the nurse fiddles with her clipboard, until the older breaks the silence.
“Fuck you,” Jongseong’s voice cracks and he’s crying again. The nurse is gone now, and they’re alone.
“I was so scared, Sunghoon. When you didn’t come back from the party, and I had to hear it from Sunoo that you weren’t ready to see me yet. And then you show up in class, bandages up your arms and I assumed the worst, you know?”
“I’m sorry-“ Sunghoon starts, but Jongsung quickly cuts him off.
“I’m not done yet,” He sniffles. “And then you lost control and I realized your powers were hurting you and I felt so bad. Because I could have helped you before and I didn’t, because I thought it wasn’t my place. I’ve never viewed my gift as something good-“ Jongseong stops again, thinking about what to say next. Sunghoon has never seen anyone this vulnerable before, much less Jongseong, so he stays still, unsure of what to do.
“I’ve never viewed my gift as something good- that’s why my focus is Potions, so I can give back- I don’t want to just Take. But when I saw you in class, I knew I had to do it, to save you. And seeing you afterwards was so terrifying, you were bleeding and unresponsive and shit, and I really thought I might lose you.”
“I’m okay, I think.” Sunghoon speaks again. Really, he feels fine at the moment. Jongseong looks at him, bewildered.
“Did you know you’ve been out for three days?”
As a matter of fact, Sunghoon did not know that.
“I was so scared that you wouldn’t wake up. I’ve been here the entire time, praying. You have this, like, fucking magnetic field around you. It’s so subtle but it pulls me in, you pull me in, and I’m sorry for what I did at the Halloween party-“
“Jongseong, please.” Sunghoon’s voice is wavering now, too. “Get to the point.”
Jongseong looks him in the eyes, and says, “I really like you. I think I might even love you. Can you forgive me?”
Okay- Sunghoon’s crying, for sure.
“I already have.” He gestures for Jongseong to crawl into the bed next to him, and the uncomfortable hospital sheets crumple as Jongseong meets him where he is. “You saved my life, you idiot. Of course I forgive you.”
Sunghoon wraps his arms tight around Jongseong, burying his head in the crook of his neck. After a while, he sits back up just to look at him, memorizing every freckle and pore and detail. Jongseong is staring back at him, eyes shining. Sunghoon’s heart pangs- he feels so much for the pretty boy sitting across from him on his hospital bed. Sunghoon leans in to kiss him, and this time they’re both sober.
“I like you, too,” He whispers, and closes the gap between them.
-
Sunghoon is discharged two days later, after seeing both a magic specialist and regular specialist (read: Psychiatrist). Jongseong stays with him the entire time, holding his hand. He learns that sometimes, rarely, your ability can be too big for your body, which is what happened to him. It will try to fight its way out- the magic specialist tells Sunghoon how lucky he is that someone with the power of Taking was around, and that he could have died. The words don’t really register, like it didn’t actually happen to him- all he feels is Jongseong squeezing his hand harder.
The next thing she asks is directed towards Jongseong.
“Did you experience any backlash during the Taking?” Her tone is professional and calm.
Sunghoon looks at Jongseong, uncertainly. Does taking someone’s ability hurt him? Taking is a rare ability, something he knows virtually nothing about.
Jongseong sheepishly rolls up his sleeves, not making eye contact, which is telling enough. Sunghoon gasps as his eyes fall on angry red streaks, like burn marks, traveling up his forearms in a similar pattern to the scabs on Sunghoon’s own body.
“It fought with me, a bit, before I could channel it out into a potion. But it’s fine, and it doesn’t really hurt that bad.” Jongseong is lying, he can tell because he still won’t look at him.
Sunghoon lightly runs a finger over one of the marks and Jongsung winces- the specialist stares at him deadpan, with a look like Did you really think I believed you? and writes him a prescription for a cream to draw out the remnants of Sunghoon’s magic from his body. He feels so guilty to have hurt Jongseong in the wake of his own destruction, but he can’t think of a single thing to say to make it better, just grabbing his hand again and leaning into him to rest his head on Jongseong’s shoulder.
Sunghoon leaves with anxiety medication and a therapist to see once a week for the unseen future before Jongseong can give his power back. She recommends that when he decides to reabsorb his power, he only takes a fraction of it. Personally, Sunghoon doesn’t mind if he ever gets it back at all. He thinks he could live like this forever, without the weight of it on his shoulders.
When he returns to their dorm room, Jongseong lays him down and squirms in next to him on his small mattress, a solid warmth on his side. Sunghoon opens to Twitter and sees his name trending- then, reality comes back to him again.
[UPDATE] South Korean Figure Skater-slash-NYU Student Hospitalized after an Incident at the School of Continued Magic
Great.
The update seems to be that he’s released. Why this is even important enough to be on the news, he’s not sure, until he sees some pictures that must have been taken by a student who witnessed the incident. Jongseong is looking at him guiltily as Sunghoon stares at his phone in horror. As he scrolls, they just get worse.
There’s a picture of their Professor, hastily throwing miscellaneous shit into her cauldron while Jongseong sits on the floor, hands glowing from underneath his skin- after the Taking, Sunghoon assumes.
The next cut is when the paramedics arrived. Sunghoon can’t help but cringe at the sight of himself- he really does look terrible, and he can’t believe someone would give these to the press. He’s unconscious and Jongseong is holding his hand as they put him on the stretcher. Sunghoon looks at the photo and can’t even recognize himself, looking so pale and weak, bandages on his arms saturated with blood.
The final photo was taken in the hospital, by the press, it seems. The Sunghoon in the photo has been cleaned up, re-bandaged, and is out cold on the hospital bed. Jongseong is there, too- chair pushed up so he could rest his head on the shitty hospital mattress, asleep as well, but still with a firm grip on Sunghoon’s hand. It’s so personal, almost intimate to the point that the photo feels invasive. He has no idea when this was taken- it must’ve been before he woke up the first time, and his stomach turns at the thought.
Sunghoon feels Jongseong’s hand on his cheek, turning his head away from the phone to meet his shocked, wide eyes. “You don’t need to see that,” He whispers, and then, “Let’s just sleep for now, okay?”
He nods. He didn’t realize how tired he was- from what exactly, Sunghoon’s not even sure, considering he’s done nothing but rest for the past five days. Nevertheless, the comforting weight of Jongseong is convincing. Sunghoon snuggles into his arms, feeling safe there, surrounded by Jongseong, and drifts off quickly.
-
Sunghoon’s wake-up is far less peaceful. His phone is buzzing loudly by his head, and he turns it off without checking the caller ID in lieu of falling back into Jongseong’s arms. It’s when the call comes a second and third time that Sunghoon finally checks who’s calling.
“Oh, fuck.” says Sunghoon. He sits up so fast the corners of his vision go black.
The screen reads,
[Three missed FaceTime calls from Mom]
It’s in the moment that Sunghoon realizes he’s never told Jongseong about his life in detail, his family or career or why he came to America in the first place. Which means Jongseong, whose family actually loves him, is in for witnessing a very awakening phone call. He answers the fourth time she calls him, grimacing before quickly fixing his expression.
The screen loads and there his mother is, in high quality (curse amazing Korean WiFi), not even wasting a breath before she starts. She rants for a while about how she “Can’t believe you didn’t tell me something happened,” and she’s “Furious that she had to find out through the news this morning,” (Sunghoon notes that it’s about 7am KST, probably) and many things along those lines, including the cherry on top, “Why don’t you come home now that your powers are gone?” Jongseong listens silently, just out of frame.
“Mom,” Sunghoon takes a deep breath. “You haven’t even texted me once since I left Korea. You’ve barely spoken to me since the ISU disqualified me. I wasn’t even conscious until two days ago, and now you want me to come home because my ability is Taken?” It’s ballsy, talking to his mom like this, he knows. But they aren’t exactly on great terms anyways, and Sunghoon pays his own tuition, so he doesn’t have much to lose.
“Sunghoon, honey, you can skate again.” His mom says in response. She still hasn’t asked him if he’s okay, Sunghoon notes.
He sighs. Jongseong is listening intently now, having not heard anything about his skating history before. “Mom, they disqualified me. It’s over, I’m sorry. You’re going to have to find another reason to care about me.” bites Sunghoon. “Like, maybe for being your son?”
Jongseong decides now is the time to make his presence known. Sunghoon cringes, because what was just a mildly tense conversation is about to become so much worse.
“But, Eomeo-nim, isn’t the most important thing that he’s okay?” Jongseong says, like he’s read Sunghoon’s mind. He shifts into the camera as he speaks, pressing close to Sunghoon and grabbing his free hand reassuringly under the blanket. He watches her face as she processes the title with which Jongseong has addressed her. Sunghoon looks at them in the corner of the screen, obviously sleep-ruffled, but Jongseong looks pristine, like always. It’s not really hard to put two and two together, from what he sees.
“Who are you?” His mother asks directly. Maybe she hasn’t seen the photos yet- Sunghoon hopes she hasn’t.
Jongseong looks at him, unsure of what to say. It’s quiet for a little to long until Sunghoon thinks Fuck it and follows that thought bluntly with,
“He’s my boyfriend, Mom.”
Sunghoon sees Jongseong suppressing a smile. He leans into Sunghoon a bit more while Sunghoon’s mother gasps like she’s seen a ghost. She puts the phone down and then they’re staring at the ceiling of his family’s kitchen in Korea for an unspecified period of time.
Jongseong is reassuring him in English now, switching languages to speak privately. Sunghoon just tells him, “It’s okay,” and it really is. Sunghoon knew the response he’d be getting, and he’s just glad they’re at the end of the end now. He was getting sick of being stuck in the beginning of the end phase, at least the other shoe has finally dropped. He’s not upset, not anymore.
Eventually, his mother returns with his father. Sunghoon’s not feeling anything at all, but Jongseong looks positively pissed, his eyebrows set tellingly.
He doesn’t feel anything but relief when she tells him that they’ve decided he shouldn’t come home, not now or ever again for the foreseeable future, unless, of course, Sunghoon would like to remove himself from the act of homosexuality (for which he will be going to Hell for, by the way).
Sunghoon just starts laughing at that point, both his parents and Jongseong looking startled. Jongseong meets his eyes, laughing nervously.
“I’m happy how I am.” He says loudly. And then, quietly, in English, “You should kiss me.”
Jongseong catches up to the situation quickly, with an evil glint in his eye. He grabs Sunghoon’s face and pulls him in for a messy kiss, making sure it’s on camera when he slides his tongue into Sunghoon’s mouth. Another gasp from his parents, and then nothing but the end dial tone.
Sunghoon throws his phone across the room and kisses Jongseong harder.
-
So, he pushes through the rest of the semester, since he has no other option because student visas are annoying like that. When Jongseong invites him to Seattle over Winter Break, Sunghoon accepts graciously. He gets a job at the local ice rink for the holiday season and everything feels okay. The owner even lets him stay late to skate on his own time, given that he levels the ice before he leaves. He trains for nothing, if not to feel the glide of his skates again.
Jongseong comes after closing every day to “learn,” which is a transparent excuse for just wanting to watch Sunghoon skate.
Sunghoon’s pulling Jongseong, completely dead weight, along the ice one day when he feels it. Jongseong is smiling at him, rambling on like he always does, when he starts,
“You know, you still have that smell? I thought it would be gone after I took it.” Jongseong never really says it directly, taking his power. Sunghoon knows a part of him still feels bad about it, even though he lifted an impossible burden off of his shoulders.
Sunghoon quirks an eyebrow at the sudden confession. “Are you saying I smell?”
Jongseong laughs, stumbling closer, opening his arms to pull Sunghoon close. He inhales deeply, which makes Sunghoon laugh.
“It’s like… the smell before rain, that comes from the leaves and the ground. I love it.” He’s smiling up at Sunghoon, and he just knows.
“I love you.” Sunghoon beams at him.
Jongseong cries right there in the middle of the ice rink, surrounded by tacky Christmas decorations and fairy lights. He kisses Sunghoon for as long as he can without slipping (he’s really no good with skates) and grins, “I love you, too.”
-
Two months later
Sunghoon runs back to their room to rip open the letter as soon as he sees it in the mailbox.
They’re in the Spring Semester now, back in their shitty dormitory, and Sunghoon’s bullshitting his way through Continued Magic with his base-level skills, joining Jongseong in the art of Potions, since there’s nothing else he can do now, anyways.
It’s from a name he thought he’d never see again- the International Skating Union.
He doesn’t get past the first few words before shoving it into Jongseong’s hands, where he’s sat working on an assignment, using Sunghoon’s desk.
“Dear Sunghoon Park,
Should you wish, we are pleased to announce your reinstatement to the ISU Olympic Qualifiers under the jurisdiction of Team USA-“
Jongseong’s smiling at him, all teeth, and Sunghoon knows his expression is the same. The elder drops his pencil, and Sunghoon notices it fall by the burn mark he left at the beginning of last semester. It’s a distant memory now, much to his relief, and he doesn’t ever want to relive it.
He’s standing up now, pulling Sunghoon into a hug. “I knew they would let you compete again.” Jongseong sighs.
Sunghoon looks at him quizzically- “Did you know about this?”
Shyly, he responds, “I sent them an appeal, since the reasoning is invalid now, technically. I guess they forward the videos to recruiters, and…” He trails off. “I’m so proud of you.”
Sunghoon looks at Jongseong, and it’s like he’s seeing the other for the first time. He’s overwhelmed with emotion- Jongseong just gave him his dream back.
He chokes out a “Thank you,” and cries onto Jongseong’s shoulder for at least fifteen minutes before realizing he needs to actually reply to the ISU.
-
[Breaking News] Team USA’s Sunghoon Park Takes Gold at the Grand Prix Final, To Represent America In 2024 Milan Olympics
Attached photo description: [Sunghoon Park steps off the ice, gold medal around his neck, where long-time boyfriend and recent NYU Graduate Jay Park waits for him with open arms]
-
you are the smell before rain / you are the blood in my veins -brand new, the boy who blocked his own shot