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One night, when it was so late it was nearly morning and Pagan had been drinking for most of it, he said to Ajay:
“All those people out there…I can’t be what they want,” bitter and confessional. “I can’t be what they need. And I never could. Better by far to simply hate me, rather than always be disappointed.”
and
“How can I possibly save anyone, when I couldn’t even save them? Or myself, for that matter.”
And like Ajay has for a hundred others he’d found who were sick, or hungry, or grieving…
…he held out his hands to him. Because after all, why should Pagan get less of him than any of those random people?
He reached out and told him, softly,
“I can help. What do you need? Tell me.”
and softer still,
“Let me help you.”
And Pagan was just drunk enough (or maybe just sober enough) to reach out in return, and take them in his.
***