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Those Tricky Milestones
“Love, he’ll be fine.”
“I know, but…he’s never been away from home overnight before.”
“Yes he has,” Merlin said with a smile, running his hand through Arthur’s hair, finding his husband so adorable he could barely stand it.
“That’s different,” Arthur protested. “He was with Gwen and Lance at their house in the town, where we could go and get him if he was unhappy.”
“Which we’ve never had to do,” Merlin countered, “because he’s always had a wonderful time.”
“But this time,” Arthur continued as though Merlin hadn’t spoken, “he’ll be leaving the citadel for three nights! He’ll be properly away from home.”
“Arthur,” Merlin said, cupping Arthur’s chin gently and doing his best not to laugh at the man. “He’s going camping with Gwen and Lance, and with Carys and Nye, who are his two best friends in the world. He’ll have a wonderful time and he won’t even give us a second thought.”
“But…he’s my baby,” Arthur said plaintively, and Merlin laughed as he took a seat next to him on the bed.
“Darling, he’s eight,” Merlin said sensibly.
“That’s still a baby,” Arthur argued. “My baby. What if he has a nightmare? Or gets ill? Or just wants a cuddle?”
“He’ll have Gwen and Lance,” Merlin said, rubbing Arthur’s back soothingly. “He’s known them sine he was born and you know how comfortable he is with them. It’s three nights, it’ll be good for him to have some time away from home.”
Arthur sighed and frowned at Merlin, saying, “Why aren’t you more bothered about this? Won’t you miss him?”
“Of course I will,” Merlin said, taking Arthur’s hand, “but we have to loosen the reins a little. He can’t stay attached to our hips forever, you know he can’t.”
Arthur rested his head on Merlin’s shoulder and stroked his thumb over Merlin’s hand as he said, “Sometimes I just wish he’d stop growing up. It seems like five minutes ago he was that tiny baby being placed in my arms and now he’s…leaving home.”
“Not quite, my love,” Merlin said with a laugh, “but I know what you mean. Sometimes it feels as though one day we’ll blink and he’ll be a man.”
“I suppose I just want to hold onto his childhood for a little longer.”
“We still have some time, darling. He’ll be our little boy for a little while yet.
“We could always have another one,” Arthur said, raising his head and looking at Merlin hopefully.
“Over my dead body,” Merlin replied. “If you want another baby, you can carry it.”
“Spoilsport. Think how lovely a bouncing little baby would be. One that relied on us completely and didn’t swan off camping.”
Merlin tutted and said, “I’ve never known anyone capable of sulking like you. Come on, let’s go and see if he’s ready.”
Merlin hauled Arthur up from the bed and dragged him from the room. He laced their fingers together and pulled Arthur down the corridor to Matthew and Ygraine’s room, giving Arthur a kick as they entered to find Matthew packing while Ygraine watched him, looking as sulky as her father.
“Why can’t I go with Matthew?” she asked, folding her arms crossly.
“Because you’re too young,” Arthur told her, walking over to her bed and picking her up as if to say, ‘This one isn’t going anywhere.’
“I am not,” she replied as she settled herself on his hip.
“You can go when you’re older, sweetheart,” Merlin promised her, but she still looked mightily unimpressed, as did Arthur. “Are you packed, my love?” Merlin asked his son.
Matthew nodded and said, “I think so. I’ve got my medicine but I couldn’t fit as many book as I wanted to take.”
“You’re going camping,” Merlin said, smiling at his son. “You’re not supposed to be reading.”
“There’s always time for reading, Adda.”
Merlin ruffled Matthew’s hair and said, “Are you ready to go then?”
“Are you sure you want to go?” Arthur asked, and Merlin glared at him.
“Of course I do,” Matthew said, swinging his backpack up onto his shoulder. “I’m going to have fun!”
“Yes you will,” Merlin said pointedly to Arthur. “Come on then, let’s get you down to your aunt and uncle, they’ll be waiting for you.”
Merlin wrapped his arm around Matthew’s shoulders while Arthur carried Ygraine as they all made their way out of the children’s bedroom and through the corridors. They left the castle and made their way down to the courtyard where Gwen and Lancelot were saddling their horses as Carys and Nye watched.
“Matthew’s here!” Carys called with a smile as she hopped off the step she had been sitting on and hugged him.
Carys was 12, while Nye was 9, and Matthew had grown up with them and was treated as another sibling. Carys was their self-appointed leader, and Matthew and Nye were such gentle souls they happily did as she said.
“All set?” Lancelot asked Matthew as he took his bag off him.
“Yes, Uncle Lance. Can’t wait!”
“That’s my lad. You’ll be riding with Auntie Gwen while I take Nye.”
“I get to ride my own horse because I’m big enough now,” Carys said proudly.
“You’re the finest rider in Camelot, darling,” Arthur told her and she beamed at him.
“Right, up we all get,” Gwen said as she finished attaching the bags to her horse. “We’ll be back on Saturday,” she told Arthur and Merlin. “Promise to bring him back in one piece.”
Merlin pulled Matthew into a hug and said, “You be good for your auntie and uncle. Make sure you take your medicine or you’ll spend the whole time sneezing, and don’t sit with your head in a book for the whole time.”
“Yes, Adda,” Matthew said as he returned the hug, Merlin pulling back to drop a kiss on his head.
Arthur set Ygraine down on the ground and she flung her arms around Matthew’s waist, saying, “I want to come next time, Matthew. I’m not too young to be left behind!”
“Take care of Pa and Adda for me,” Matthew told her as he patted her golden curls. “You know they need looking after.”
“I will,” Ygraine said solemnly, moving to the side to make way for Arthur.
Merlin watched as Arthur pulled Matthew into his arms, quite obviously fighting back tears as he hugged their son so tightly Merlin began to worry he’d stop him from breathing. For someone who hadn’t been overly enthusiastic about being a father when he had first found out Merlin had been carrying Matthew, Arthur had more than made up for it in the time Matthew had been alive.
He was so devoted to their children it quite took Merlin’s breath away and he had watched him over the years become the most attentive and caring father. He felt beyond lucky that he was able to share this precious journey with the love of his life, and there were times when he looked at his children and wondered what miracle had brought them into his life.
“Have a wonderful time, my love,” Arthur said, his voice strangled as he pulled back and stroked Matthew’s hair affectionately. “I can’t wait to hear all about it when you get back.”
Merlin lifted Ygraine onto his hip as Gwen and Lancelot settled the children on the horses then swung up into the saddles themselves. Arthur came to stand next to him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders as the horses trotted slowly out of the courtyard and Matthew waved at them as they all left.
“Can I come and sleep with you tonight?” Ygraine asked as she watched her brother go. “I don’t want to stay in my bedroom without Matthew.”
“Of course, sweetheart,” Merlin said, feeling his chest tighten as the horses disappeared through the arch and Matthew was now out of sight. “I think we’ll all need to have a little comfort tonight.”
“He’s not going away again for at least a year,” Arthur said as they turned to go back into the castle. “My heart can’t take the strain.”
“Just wait until he’s a teenager. You’ll be begging him to leave.”
“Impossible. He’s my baby and I love him.”
“And me, Pa,” Ygraine said, tucking her head beneath Merlin’s chin as they walked.
“And you, my love. You’re the two most precious things in my life.”
“What about me?” Merlin said, reaching out to prod him in the ribs.
Arthur grinned and leant over to give him a peck on the cheek as he said, “You gave me those precious things. You’re the best thing to ever happen to me.”
Merlin smiled and shook his head, wondering when Arthur had become the biggest sap on the face of earth, but rather grateful he had done. Now all he had to do was cope for the three nights Matthew was away and try not to kill his beloved husband while he, undoubtedly, entered a period of mourning no one would be able to wrench him out of. It was probably best not to mention that Gwen and Lance had a similar trip planned with Matthew in a couple of months’ time and that this one would be for a week.