Archive of Our Own ^beta

Kankri Vantas cared for his brother more than anything in the world.

Many didn’t believe it, thinking he was stuck up and a control freak who needed to have his brother’s life under his absolute control.

But that wasn’t it at all.

Kankri had already lost his father, a man he had gone back and forth from despising and admiring.

Despising because Signless cared more for complete strangers than his children, despised because Signless gave the world all his time and never told Kankri the time of day, despised because he was an absent father to Karkat and Kankri, despised because Kankri was the one at age twelve who had to learn how to cook dinner for his brother, despised because he was his father and he should have acted like it.

Admiring because Signless tried so hard to fix a broken world, admired because Signless never accepted anything in return for his goodness, admired because Signless did more for the world than anyone else has, admired because he never even considered it work but a duty he had to help those who needed it, admired because Signless was admired by so many more.

Kankri understood when he got older, what were Karkat and Kankri in retrospect to the world?

But still. He was allowed to have despised a man who raised a kid who didn’t even know how to ride a bike.

Kankri had made a promise to Signless after he passed, a promise to protect Karkat.

Kankri walked up to the coffin, umbrella tight in his hands and he was shaking as he peered over to look at his deceased father.

Kankri never understood why people said dead people looked like they were sleeping. Kankri knew what his father looked like sleeping, rolled over on his side, mouth wide open as he snored the night away.

But before Kankri laid a version of his father he never wished to see, a pale

That wasn’t his father sleeping in the coffin, this was him dead.

And it hit him hard, that his father died, that his father had passed because he worked too hard, that he was gone because other people mattered more than them.

Kankri lost it, a mess of tears and sniffles as he rested his free hand on the edge of the coffin, peering down.

“Dad,” He spoke, voice wavering as he lowered it, conscious of his brother a few feet behind him. “I promise that I- I will do everything I can to care for Karkat. I will- I will care for him and protect him and you- You won’t even have to worry about it. And I'll try- I’ll try to continue your legacy and everything. I won’t let you have died for nothing. Everything will be fine.”

He shakily stepped away and wiped the tears from his face as Karkat approached.

The year following was complicated and Kankri tried to let Karkat have as normal of a childhood that he could.

Social workers came and for a minute Kankri feared they would deem their situation unlivable and try to take his brother away.

But Dolorosa stepped in quick, with papers and a warm smile that put them under her temporary custody. And Kankri hugged her tight after as she stroked his hair.

“You’ve got all of us here for you,” She had said. “Psiionic and Disciple too. We won’t let you guys go that easily.”

Kankri tried to take care of everything, he got a job so they wouldn’t have to move (Psiionic also helped with bills from time to time) and Karkat wouldn’t have to change schools on top of everything.

It was harder to keep a job than Kankri had expected. He tried to be a diligent worker, he took extra hours, he followed the rules.

But, he wasn’t exactly a people person like his father had been.

Naturally he knew communication was part of every job, smile and be nice to the customer, it was easy enough rules.

But those rules were hard to follow when the customer was a bigoted asshole.

Kankri remembers one event, where he was working at a local fast food place and Mituna had bounced it, grinning mischievously as he bounded over to the counter.

“You can’t distract me while I’m at work,” Kankri says and Mituna rolls his eyes and shakes his head, causing some of his overgrowing hair to fall into his eyes.

“Why Kankri, here I am, a loyal customer and you dare insinuate the only reason for my presence is to torment you? How rude!” Mituna teased and Kankri rolled his eyes. 

“Whatever, what do you want?” Kankri asked and Mituna handed him a folded up piece of paper and grinned wickedly. “Rufioh is having a party Saturday!”

Kankri grabbed the paper, a printed out flyer with the time and date of Rufioh’s party and a kiss mark at the end that Kankri would bet twenty bucks was from Damara.

“Can’t, I’m working.” Kankri said and another customer came in so Mituna moved over to the side.

“You can’t even take one day off?” Mituna asked and Kankri shook his head.

“No, sorry. I feel bad enough that your dad has to help as much with our bills, I don’t want to start losing work hours for parties.” Kankri said and then smiled at the customer.

“Welcome to SGRUB! What would you like to order?” Kankri asked and Mituna sighed and leaned against the counter, playing with the plastic infinity cube he so dearly loved while adjusting his headphones.

The customer Kankri was serving gave a disgusted look at Mituna and then turned to Kankri. 

“Two burgers, large fries and a large sprite.” He ordered and Kankri punched in the order. “Anything else?” He asked, all customer service-y like.

Mituna dropped his cube and let out a frustrated sound before picking it up.

“Hey retard, why don’t you get off the counter?” The customer suddenly snapped and Kankri’s eyes shot up to look at him then Mituna, who bit his lip.

“Sorry sir,” Mituna said and pushed off the counter and away. “You could’ve just asked, you didn’t need to be rude about it.”

The customer rolled his eyes. “I hate you kind of people and your generation. Everything is rude now. Not my fault the synapses in your brain aren’t firing correctly.”

Kankri paused and looked over at Mituna, a tight smile on his lips.

“Hey, ‘Tuna, change in plans: I’m going to be free Saturday, you can pick me up at seven.” Kankri said and Mituna suddenly grinned. 

“Yeah, I’ll get you before I grab Latula.” Mituna said and the customer turned to Kankri.

“You shouldn’t be slacking off while-” And the customer shut up.

Mostly because Kankri jumped over the counter and punched him in the face.

So yeah, holding a job wasn’t the easiest for Kankri to do.

He sat slumped in the kitchen holding a mug of coffee, Dolorosa was heating up pastries while he rambled.

“It’s just so annoying! I mean, customers get away with being awful people and the moment I return that energy, I’m the bad guy and I get fired!” Kankri whined.

“Yes well, you did punch him in the face.” Dolorosa said. “Then kick him in the groyne. Then elbow him in the stomach.”

“He deserved worse.” Kankri mumbled. “His blatant ableism creates a toxic environment. Not to mention he seemed old enough to have children so is he teaching his children these morals? It’s poisoning our youth.”

Dolorosa chuckled and grabbed the pastries, handing one to her grandson. “But you shouldn’t resort to violence, what would your father say to it?”

“My father is dead and didn’t bother to give me the time of day,” Kankri shot back, grabbing the pastry and sighing. “But he’d say to not resort to violence and to forgive and forget.”

Dolorosa hummed and sat down across from him.

“I can always see if I can find you a job at my workplace.” She suggested and Kankri shook his head. “I don’t want to work an office job. I get too antsy and those are always toxic work environments anyway.”

His grandmother sighed and leaned back in her chair. “You don’t have to force yourself to do all this. You already dropped out of school to care for your brother, you can let us help some.”

“I know, and I am ever grateful for the help you’ve been lending. All of you. I just- I need to do this myself. I’m his brother, it’s my duty to make sure he’s safe and cared for, I promised .” Kankri said, grip tight around his cup. “I don’t- I don’t want Karkat to suffer anymore than this. He hates dad for dying and dying because he cared for others. He stopped acting, he isn’t talking to his friends or me. I don’t want him to have to change schools or move because I can’t keep a job. I don’t want him not having someone there to help with homework, or someone there to talk to if he needs it.”

“You’re 17,” Dolorosa said. “You’re still a child, I understand wanting to care for Karkat, but there’s nothing wrong with wanting or needing help.”

“I have to do this myself though,” Kankri insisted.

“But how are you supposed to work, raise Karkat, be there for him and still have time to yourself?” Dolorosa asked and Kankri rolled his eyes.

“Simple: Don’t have time for myself. And I work nights and while he’s at school so I can be there to pick him up. It’s worked so far.” Kankri insisted.

“You need to find a job you like, you’re a minor now but if you keep fighting people- Look, in a few months you are an adult who can get arrested. Karkat needs you there for him.” Dolorosa said. “Just- Please ask for help. It doesn’t have to be me, or Psii or Dis, just someone.”

“Seven months isn’t a few,” Kankri said and Dolorosa sighed. “Just, ask for help, please?”

Kankri did, he sucked it up and sat down with some of his friends to talk about it.

Talk about how stressful it’s been trying to find jobs, how he’s trying to care for Karkat during all of it, and how Karkat definitely needs a therapist but he can’t afford it right now.

“I know I’m not professionally a therapist yet, still in school, but my school offers a program to help students experience real world stuff. I can take him in as a practice client, free of charge. It’d help us both anyway,” Aranea said and Kankri looked up from where he’d buried his face in his hands.

“You’d do that?” Kankri asked and she smiled. “Of course!” Aranea said, smiling wide. “I mean, I still need the practice, my professor says I always make the conversation about me, so I need to practice to not. And if Karkat needs help, and you need help, I’m more than willing.”

“I can babysit and shit,” Rufioh offered and Kankri turned to him. “I mean I’m used to watching over Tavros and shit. I could bring my little bro over after school and they can do homework and shit together. Help each other out with tough assignments.”

Kankri put his hands together in a prayer pose and pressed his mouth to them, looking at Rufioh. “You would? It’s not too much of a bother?”

“Nah man, I mean like, I’d be a little late cause I still got school and shit, but anytime I’m free I’m down to watch over the kid.” Rufioh said and Kankri smiled.

“Thank you, thank you so much.” Kankri said.

“There’s a job opening at the movie theatre.” Horuss said. “A lot of people quit now that Christmas is coming up and there’s a shit ton of more hallmark movies. New people just have to sweep and clean up. You wouldn’t have to interact with customers.”

Kankri leaned back in his chair, crying a little and he smiled.

“Thank you guys, all of you, seriously it helps a lot.” Kankri said and Mituna smiled at his childhood friend. “Hey man, we’re always here for you, even when you’re being a hardass.”

Kankri rolled his eyes and sat up more. “I’m not a “hardass” I just have different views than you guys,” Kankri insisted and Rufioh ruffled Kankri’s hair, the shorter teen flinching away from the touch.

“Nah, we have the same views, you're just ridiculous.” Rufioh insisted and everyone laughed.

It was a little easier once Kankri had help, he’ll admit that. With Rufioh bringing Karkat to school and watching him after, Karkat didn’t have to worry about trying to get flexible hours. 

With Aranea being a temporary therapist for Karkat, the younger Vantas began to calm down some and it helped Kankri not worry that Karkat was going to shut himself off from everyone forever.

And with an actual stable job that didn’t require Kankri to talk to people which lowered the chances of him getting fired, Kankri didn’t have to rely on others as often to help support.

Come his eighteenth birthday, a month after Karkat’s eleventh, Kankri went through the lengthy procedure of being interviewed, observed and inspected for gaining legal custody over Karkat.

Kankri knew he didn’t have to do it, they were taken care of and everything, but Kankri wanted to. He needed to be able to take that responsibility over Karkat, both morally and legally.

“Do I have to call you dad now?” Karkat asked when Kankri presented him with the papers.

“No,” Kankri informed. “But this means I will be a lot more parent-like.”

“Is there anyway you even can?” Karkat joked. “I mean, you gave me a bedtime.”

“Because it is important you get a minimum of eight hours of sleep. It helps a lot.” Kankri insisted and Karkat laughed before shuffling over, arms open up to his brother.

Kankri knelt down and hugged Karkat. “I’m glad to be your little brother.” Karkat mumbled. “Imagine if like, the Captors had this mess. You think Mituna would step up to care for Sol?”

“Oh definitely not.” Kankri joked. “And they’re only three years apart, unlike our seven, so I don’t think it’d go over so well anyway.”

“Thank you for caring for me,” Karkat mumbled and looked away. “I’m sorry I’m all fucking- Argh! Lately it’s just-”

“It’s a lot, I know,” Kankri said and ruffled Karkat’s hair. “Your friends and I are here for you though. And my friends too, and you have Aranea to talk too. You’re on meds so hopefully… It all gets better soon.”

It did, a little.

Karkat wasn’t suddenly happy, but he was warming up again, he was hanging out with his friends, he was smiling more, and he began acting again.

When Karkat came up to him with an email about nearby acting roles, Kankri was not hesitant to sign Karkat up.

In fact, he figured there was no one else who could care for his little brother more than him, and decided to become his manager.

It was a little confusing at first, Kankri literally had no idea what managers did or that they needed to be registered and all that shit, but thankfully, someone took pity on him.

“Kankri Vantas?” A woman called. Kankri was in a waiting room for a meeting and he looked up and frowned. “Uh, you’re not the director, right?” He asked, looking at his papers again and the woman smiled, lips painted red.

“Oh, no.” She said. “My name is Jane Crocker. I run a company for managers and agents alike. I noticed you represent Karkat Vantas but no one else, why is that?”

“Oh, uhm, well, he’s my brother. And I want to delegate as much of my focus on him. Help get him the best roles, the best shots at acting, that sort of stuff.” Kankri explained. “I wouldn’t be able to do that if I had other clients.”

Jane put a hand on her hip and smiled. “I want you to join Crocker Industries. We’re basically like the managers for managers. Let them have their independent clients, but they represent our management team. And we’ll be there to lend you a helping hand when you struggle with, you know, managing your client.”

Kankri stared at him and pressed his lips into a thin line, looking down at the massive amounts of paperwork in his hands and how it’s been four months and he hasn’t been able to get Karkat any jobs.

He sighed and ran a hand down his face.

“This isn’t like a scam or anything, right?” He asked and Jane smiled.

“No! But good for you to be sceptical at first! I’ll give you my card, you can look us up and call me back once you’ve made your decision. Karkat seems like a good actor and I think he can go far with proper management.” Jane said and with that she was gone.

Kankri called Jane two hours later and began working for her, but it was still a little overwhelming at times trying to do all this manager shit and he was venting to Rufioh and Mituna one day about it.

“I mean like, holy shit guys, he hasn’t even gotten cast for any serious roles, just commercials and shorts, but omigosh, it’s so much work.” Kankri said, laying once again on Rufioh’s bed. 

“Well, maybe you should ask your boss for help?” Mituna suggested, toying with something in the corner. It looked like a yellow ball that he had cut in half, but he was screwing something into the side. Maybe a helmet or something.

“She said to hire an assistant, but like, how do I just find an assistant? And if I have an assistant, I need it to be someone I trust, because they'll be taking care of Karkat’s stuff as well.” Kankri mumbled. “I hate being an adult.”

“Who doesn’t?” Rufioh asked, sitting backwards in his chair and typing on his phone.

Mituna paused in his… whatever and looked over at Kankri. “I could be your assistant?” Mituna suggested and Kankri looked over at him.

“What?” He asked and Mituna shrugged.

“I’m unemployed. I’ve had a hard time finding place that want to hire me cause, you know, people are ableist.” Mituna said and Kankri rolled his eyes.

“Because you act like an ableist stereotype of disabled people. Naturally they’re not going to hire you,” Kankri said.

Mituna opened his mouth, closed it, then puffed his cheeks and shook his head.

“You’re ridiculous. But anyway , if you need an assistant, I could do that for you. I mean, Karkat is basically like my little brother at this point, and I’m your friend. Plus it would help my job hunting as well.” Mituna said and Kankri looked over.

“Would you even know what you’re doing?” Kankri asked and Mituna shrugged, returning to his fiddling. 

“Nah, but I’m sure you could teach me if I really needed help.” Mituna said. “Come on, it’d help you, it’d help me and it’d help Karkat.”

Kankri sat up and nodded, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear.

“Uh, yeah, yeah. I think… That would help a lot.” Kankri said and turned to Mituna. “We’ll figure everything out later, I’m taking the day off and relaxing.”

Mituna snorted and the three of them fell into comforting silence that was only broken when Rufioh suddenly laughed. Kankri lifted his head to look at him.

“Are you messaging Damara?” He asked and Rufioh shook his head, not even sparing him a glance.

Kankri looked at Mituna, the other man frowning as he looked at Rufioh.

“Horuss?” Mituna asked and Rufioh looked up now, gauging their reactions.

“Guys, I already told you it’s not like that .” Rufioh said and Kankri shook his head at him.

“Well, does he know that?” Kankri asked and Rufioh just rolled his eyes and leaned back, making sure neither Kankri nor Mituna could see his screen.

Kankri and Mituna shared a look but said nothing.

Mituna helping Kankri out was- Well, a big help. Kankri could split work 50/50, he could have Mituna driving Karkat places while Kankri stayed home and filled out paperwork.

It was a long year of auditioning, Karkat having almost given up a few times until he finally landed a role.

Kankri had gotten the call while making dinner and he put down the spoon he was using to stir soup and picked it up.

“Hello, this is Kankri Vantas of Crocker Industries speaking, how may I help?” Kankri greeted and Karkat snorted from where he sat at the table doing homework.

“Hello, this is Karkat Vantas’ manager, correct? We have information about the recent role he auditioned for.” A voice on the other end said and Kankri turned to look at his brother. They normally sent emails when they told him he didn’t get the roll.

“Uh, yes! This is he,” Kankri shuffled over and put the phone on loud speaker. “What is the information?”

“He has been accepted for the role of Shanen Gains for the TV show Home. The director will email you soon about where and when filming begins.” And with that they hung up.

Karkat jumped out of his chair and screamed.

“Omigod! I got the role!?” He cried out and then ran around the table a few times before wrapping his arms around Kankri. “I got the role!”

“Hell yeah you did!” Kankri screamed and picked up his brother (with some struggle, Kankri wasn’t exactly the strongest) and spun him around. “You’re gonna be in a TV show!”

Kankri poured all his time and energy into scheduling photo shoots, and talk shows, and interviews because he wanted Karkat to be big, an amazing actor. He wanted Karkat to be able to get any role he wished for and more.

Karkat was not exactly excited about all the publicity, but he put up with it anyway.

Kankri was happy to see his brother making friends in the industry, and happy to see that his childhood friends got on well with his actor friends.

Things were good for a few years, Karkat had his friends, he had his dream job and Kankri was his legal guardian and boss. He could make sure Karkat got everything and anything he needed.

And Kankri still got to hang out with his friends as well, Mituna was his assistant, Rufioh was starting his own show, Porrim launched her own fashion company (well, she did way before Karkat was acting but still), and it was fun having his friends be so intertwined with his work.

And he met new people too.

Kankri was standing outside Jane’s building, waiting for his ride to arrive and he heard yelling across the parking lot.

Eridan was in a car, fighting with someone who was trying to get into the vehicle.

“Fucking walk!” Eridan yelled at him and the guy kicked the car door.

“You mother fucker! I’m gonna tell dad!” He threatened and Eridan shoved the guy away through the window. 

“Dad can kiss my ass!” Eridan yelled and then he was pulling out of the driveway and onto the road.

The guy huffed loudly and ran a hand through his hair, storming over to the sidewalk and pulling out a cigarette pack and taking one and lighting it.

Kankri made a disgusted face at that and the guy noticed him staring.

“What’s your problem, turtle neck?” The guy asked and Kankri straightened up.

“You really shouldn’t smoke, it’s very unhealthy for you.” Kankri informed and the guy scoffed and rolled his eyes, leaning against the side of the building and Kankri checked his phone again and rolled his eyes.

MT: H3Y 50 1M 4C7U4LLY G01NG 70 83 R34LLY L473 BU7 Y0U H1R3D M3 50 7H15 15 0N Y0U

KK: After y9u all 6ut 6egged me t9 hire y9u

MT: PR377Y SUR3 7H475 N07 WH47 H4PP3N3D 8U7 0K4Y

Kankri sighed deeply and put his phone away.

“What’s got you all glummed out?” The guy asked and Kankri rolled his eyes.

“My ride is going to be late,” Kankri grumbled and the guy hummed.

“See, I’d be all gentlemen like and offer you a ride but uh, my ride kind of took off.” The guy gestured vaguely in the direction Eridan had driven off in.

“How do you know Eridan? Are you his manager?” Kankri asked and the guy laughed until he began to roughly cough. After a few pounds to his chest, the guy shook his head.

“Nah, nah, that little twerp is my brother.” He informed and Kankri nodded before tilting his head.

“Why did you come with him to the meeting?” Kankri asked and the guy shrugged.

“Was bored,” He replied and grinned. “Are you a manager?”

“Yes, I represent for my brother, but since Eridan is under Crocker Industries management, they asked me to take care of him for his next role since he’ll be doing the short film with Karkat.” Kankri informed and the guy grinned lazily, cigarette hanging between his lips as he shoved his hands into the black leather jacket he wore.

“Yeah, you seem like the type to manage shit.” He said, and though his words were rude, his tone was light hearted.

“What does that mean?” Kankri asked.

“Look at you, with your little red turtleneck and your clipboard. There’s probably a stick up your ass too.” The guy said and Kankri turned now, huffing.

“ Excuse me, but I don’t even know your name, who are you to be making assumptions about me?” Kankri asked and the guy just shrugged and reached out a hand.

“Name’s Cronus.” He introduced. Kankri looked at the outstretched hand and sighed, shaking it. “I’m Kankri.”

Cronus suddenly turned Kankri’s hand to the back of it was up and bent down to press a kiss to the top, causing Kankri’s face to flush red.

“Pleasure to meet you, darlin’.” Cronus said, voice sugary sweet and Kankri yanked his hand back, eyes wide and he clutched his clipboard to his chest.

Calm yourself Vantas, this was a stranger who was just ditched by his brother and is now smoking. There’s nothing attractive or swoon worthy about this.

But…

Kankri cleared his throat and stood up straight again.

“If you need it, I’m sure I could give you a ride home,” Kankri offered and turned his head a little to look at Cronus over his shoulder.

The greaser dressed man straightened and grinned devilishly. “I know you mean drive home, but I liked hearing those words come out of your pretty little mouth.”

Kankri held his clipboard up to hide his red face and stared straight forward.

“Don’t push your luck.” Kankri said and Cronus just laughed.

They began to hang out a bit more, Kankri wasn’t entirely sure why, but he was fascinated by Cronus.

Mituna didn’t like him though, and said as much when he first met him, pulling him into the hallway to speak.

“He just,” Mituna looked over Kankri’s shoulder at Cronus, who was laying on Kankri’s bed. He noticed Mituna staring and winked at him. Mituna frowned and looked back at Kankri. “He gives bad vibes.”

“Mituna, you said that about bacon at the fair.” Kankri stated and Mituna made a frustrated gestured with his hands.

“And I was right then! Just-” Mituna rubbed his hands together. “I dunno man, he doesn’t seem all there. I mean, you said he has no friends, ever wonder why? ”

“Some people just don’t have friends.” Kankri stated. “I mean come on, Rufioh used to not have friends, would you say he’s an awful person?”

Mituna sighed and shook his head. “No, he’s one of our best friends.”

“And I’m yours. I trust Cronus, please trust me.” Kankri said and Mituna groaned loudly.

“Ugh fine! I’m going though. I have a ridiculous amount of driving around tomorrow, I need to fix my helmet.” Mituna said and Kankri nodded.

Mituna had made a helmet to help with sensory issues, the yellow thing he had been working on a few years ago. It blocked out sound and light, but also helped with motion sickness and balance.

Kankri had almost begun enjoying hanging out with Cronus, someone new, someone daring, someone so strikingly different than all his other friends.

But then The Accident happened.

And Kankri didn’t have time to focus on Cronus because Karkat’s friends were in the hospital and it was like they had lost their father all over again.

The Leijons were family to them, and Gamzee had become Karkat’s best friend over the years.

And Kankri had to watch as Karkat practically mourned Nepeta and distanced himself from Gamzee.

Kankri tried to help, but all the work and effort they made over the past few years, getting Karkat to open up, to trust his friends, to be happy again, it was all gone.

He began to shut himself off from the world, he spent most of his free time at the hospital as if willing Nepeta to wake up.

Kankri was stressing enough worrying over Karkat, but Karkat had been skipping out on work as well now and Kankri was getting the backlash from it.

“Kankri, you need to make sure he is doing interviews and photoshoots. I understand he is upset but this is the best time for him to jump into the limelight.” Jane said and Kankri paced as he held the phone close to his ear.

“I know but he is hurt right now. He needs time to deal.” Kankri said.

“It has been three months,” Jane said. “I love Karkat, okay? He’s a great kid, a great actor, and I understand mourning. But he will begin to lose roles if he keeps pulling this stunt. Please get him back on track. I’m counting on you.” 

And with that she hung up.

Kankri pulled the phone back and screamed, dropping it on the floor and flopping onto his bed.

“That bad?” Cronus asked, turning over and draping an arm across Kankri’s waist.

“It’s just- Ugh, Jane is great and everything, really. But why can’t she understand that Karkat is mourning?” Kankri whined.

“Cause Nep-kid isn’t actually dead. We’re all kind of viewing it as: get over it man.” Cronus said. “Like what can little man do besides wait until she wakes up?”

“She’s his best friend and he thinks that, god, he thinks Gamzee did something to cause it.” Kankri mumbled and turned so he was facing Cronus.

“You’re stressed, this isn’t your thing to worry about,” Cronus said and Kankri rolled his eyes.

“It’s Karkat’s mess, so it’s my mess.” Kankri groaned and Cronus raised a hand to caress Kankri’s face.

“I can think of a better mess for you,” Cronus said, voice low and Kankri flushed.

“Cronus, be serious, please.” Kankri begged and Cronus huffed.

“I am being serious. Well, sort of. I like you, K.” Cronus said and Kankri felt his breath hitch.

“I’m going to need some clarification here before I assume you mean the wrong thing and then I royally fuck up our friendship by saying what I feel and it turning out you don’t actually feel the-” Kankri was cut off by Cronus moving forward and pressing their lips together.

Kankri sighed into the kiss and shuffled closer in the bed and Cronus used the arm around Kankri’s waist to bring him closer.

The two stayed there, laying on the bed and kissing until Kankri heard the front door open and close.

He sat up and cleared his throat, straightening his turtleneck out and Cronus laughed as Kankri exitted to go greet Karkat.

They kept it a secret from- Well from everyone.

Kankri didn’t want to give Karkat more things to need to think about when he already had so much going on and the rest of Kankri’s friends weren’t too fond of Cronus, so they kept it a secret.

And it was…

It was exhilarating.

Kankri for all his life has shared every single aspect about his life with Karkat, he believed there should be no secrets between blood, but this was something else.

Sneaking around with Cronus was exciting, something new.

Cronus was the enigma of a bad boy type and Kankri was the goody two shoes, they were so strikingly opposite Kankri assumed it has to work because opposites attract, don’t they?

Cronus liked to play it like some game though, continuously acted as if he was trying to get caught and Kankri always wondered why, so he asked Cronus one day while they were out on a date.

They were in the back of an empty movie theatre, Kankri sat stradling Cronus’ lap and the two were making out heavily when Kankri suddenly pulled back.

“Hey,” He said, breathless and Cronus let out a sound similar to a low growl. “Yeah?”

“Why do you-” Kankri paused as he caught his breath. “Always try and get us caught? Like in a relationship and stuff?”

Cronus grinned and raised a hand to caress Kankri’s cheek.

“Try and see it from my point of view,” Cronus said, voice rough from kissing and Kankri swallowed down the urge to reconnect their lips.

“Mmm, okay?” Kankri said.

“You’re this perfect little hottie, right? A guy who has his entire life together, you’re a poised man who everyone admires. And then there’s me, the asshole who has no friends and is completely fucked up in the head. Completely awful guy.” Cronus drawled.

“Cronus, you’re not awful.” Kankri insisted. 

“Oh but I am baby,” Cronus said. “Imagine what they would all think if they saw perfect little you with the fucking train wreck that is me? There’s just,”

Cronus suddenly moaned and Kankri flushed red, looking over his shoulder despite knowing full well it was empty, Horuss still worked here and could walk in on them at any moment.

“Babe,” Cronus said and pulled Kankri closer to his chest. “Babe, it’s so fucking hot the idea of being caught together.”

“It-” Kankri paused. “If they find out though, none of them will look at me the same.”

“It’s hot, right?” Cronus said and Kankri shook his head.

“No, no, Crow, it’s- I can’t let them know about this. They’ll be upset I never told them. And Mituna hates you-” “Good, the feeling is fucking mutual.” “-and he’s my best friend. He would feel betrayed.” Kankri explained.

Cronus moved to kiss up Kankri’s neck, ignoring what he was saying.

“Cronus, I’m serious , we can’t be caught with this.” Kankri said firmly and Cronus scoffed.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Babe, we only have less than an hour before you gotta go home. We gonna spend it arguing or kissing?” Cronus asked and Kankri stared at him for a long moment before moving forward.

Cronus didn’t let up after that, despite Kankri’s insistence to keep their relationship a secret.

A hand on his thigh, an arm around his waist, “accidentally” kissing him when Mituna’s back was turned.

Kankri told him twice more to stop it, but gave up when Cronus refused to.

That should’ve been one of the first signs to break up, but Kankri was so obsessed with having this- This person who made him feel different. Not like the stuck up “good kid” who did everything he was told, but like the guy who had an exciting secret.

It was too exhilarating for Kankri to truly see the red flags.

The next one came later though.

About a year into their relationship, Cronus had begun just tagging along to everything Kankri did, like his shadow. Kankri hadn’t thought much of it, he thought it was a little endearing actually.

He and Cronus were sitting in the limo, Mituna draped across the back seat while they all waited for Karkat to be done with filming.

Cronus put a hand on Kankri’s thigh and Kankri pushed it off, typing on his phone to Jane about an upcoming award show.

Cronus moved his hand back to Kankri’s thigh and Kankri looked at him.

“Stop that,” Kankri said firmly and pushed his hand off again.

Cronus scoffed. “Don’t be like that,” Cronus said and put his hand back up again. Kankri warily looked over at Mituna who was dozing off in his seat.

“Crow, stop.” Kankri said and pushed the hand off again. “I’m serious.”

“Dude, come on, he’s sleeping,” Cronus said, moving his hand up higher and Kankri stiffened and swallowed hard.

“Cronus, I am serious, stop.” Kankri said, but his voice shook a little.

Why was his voice shaking? This was Cronus, he wouldn’t do anything he didn’t like if he knew he was serious.

Right?

Cronus leaned in close and Kankri shuffled away and suddenly the car door opened, Kankri sighing as Cronus pulled away.

“Karkat! How was filming?”

It was more than just that though, and more than just Kankri it happened too.

Kankri was in the living room, sitting in a chair as he scribbled away events in his day planner. Mituna was on the couch, nose stuck in his video game and Cronus was next to him, shuffling over so their shoulders were pressed together.

Kankri looked up at that and watched as Mituna shuffled away from Cronus some. Cronus just scooted over closer and the two continued that until Mituna was pressed against the arm rest.

“Can you give me some space, dude?” Mituna asked, eyeing him warily and Cronus just rolled his eyes and scooted barely an inch away.

“Mituna isn’t good with touch,” Kankri informed. Neither was Kankri to be honest, people touching him normally sent him into a panic unless it was Cronus or Karkat. But even now… Sometimes Cronus’ touches set sirens off in his head, he didn’t know why.

“He just isn’t used to it,” Cronus insisted and Mituna gave Kankri a “help me” look.

Karkat suddenly came storming down the stairs.

“‘Kri, I want you to get Gamzee fired.” Karkat said and Kankri stood.

“What?” He asked and Cronus put an arm around Mituna, the other man stiffening in his hold.

“He’s being really fucking annoying and bugging me at work! I need you to fire him!” Karkat screamed.

“Can you move your arm?” Mituna asked, shoving Cronus’ arm off.

“Aw come on dude, it’s just a bro hug,” Cronus insisted, but rested his arm on the back of the couch and Kankri pinched the bridge of his nose, getting mildly overwhelmed.

“I can’t tell Caliborn to fire Gamzee just because you two aren’t getting along.” Kankri informed his brother. 

“Why not?!” Karkat whined. “It’s his fault Nepeta is in a coma and not waking up!” 

“The police reports say otherwise!” Kankri shouted. He was tired of his brother trying to insist his ex-friend was a psychopath who tried to kill his best friend. There was zero evidence of such and Gamzee has been trying for the past year to befriend Karkat again, though when Gamzee got stressed about something, he tended to try and push buttons.

“I don’t care, fire him!” Karkat yelled and stormed out.

Kankri let out a frustrated scream and ran a hand over his face before turning to his friend and boyfriend.

Mituna’s body was stiff and he was staring intensely at Kankri while Cronus leaned uncomfortably close over his shoulder, looking at the gaming device.

“Cronus,” Kankri said, exasperated and Cronus looked up and grinned. “What?” He asked, pulling Mituna closer to him. The gamer was beginning to breathe heavily, clearly panicking.

“Cronus, leave Mituna alone.” Kankri said and Cronus rolled his eyes. “Fine, fine,” He said and suddenly licked Mituna’s ear, making Mituna squeak and jump off the couch, rushing behind Kankri.

Kankri shook his head at Cronus.

“Go home,” Kankri said and Cronus scoffed.

“Don’t be like that,” Cronus said and Kankri pointed at the door. “Go home .” He repeated and Cronus frowned and stood.

“Fine! Whatever!” He shouted dramatically and grabbed his jacket and left.

Kankri turned and Mituna was gripping his game tightly and shaking a little.

“I don’t-” Mituna began and swallowed hard. “I don’t like him, Kankri. Can you just tell him to fuck off and never come back?”

Kankri paused, facing his friend and his hands hovering over Mituna, careful not to touch him, but there to calm him.

“I- He was just messing around. I’ll make sure he doesn’t do this shit again, I’m sorry.” Kankri said and Mituna looked at him incredulously. 

“You’re kidding, right?” Mituna asked and took a step back. “Dude, he does this shit all the time . I get that he’s your friend and everything but he’s weird and creepy!”

Kankri inhaled deeply and straightened up. “I’ll talk to him, okay? He’ll listen to me and I’m sorry this happened.”

Mituna just shook his head and rolled his eyes.

“Fine, whatever.” Mituna said and went to sit in the armchair. Kankri gave him a strange look because the other always hogged the couch if it was free at all, but said nothing.

After that, Mituna didn’t mention it, but he tended to sit far away from Cronus when the three of them were together, which was a lot because Mituna was Kankri’s assistant and Cronus behaved like Kankri’s shadow.

Time passed agonisingly slow and Karkat seemed to only get worse. The longer Nepeta didn’t wake up, the more frustrated Karkat got at Gamzee.

Kankri tried to help, tried to offer him support but Karkat was pulling away again.

He refused therapy, he pulled away from his friends, he lashed out at anything and everyone and Kanrki didn’t know how to help.

And then, of course because everything else was going awful, Karkat slipped and now there’s a whole dating scandal.

Kankri was sitting on the couch, Cronus leaning over his shoulder as he scrolled through his phone. Mituna was sat cross legged on the armchair, scrolling through his tablet.

Kankri was upset, he had a long day and still had more work to do in only a few hours, not having gotten much sleep since picking up Karkat from the party and it was only six am in the morning on a weekend, but he was not happy.

First, the limo had broken down that morning, putting them way behind schedule, then the limo had been late to pick them up from Karkat’s photo shoot because it was getting fixed, then they had messed up lunch order and he hadn’t gotten to eat, then they were stuck in traffic for hours and a thousand other tiny things that alone wouldn’t seem like a problem but it was all piling up.

Not to mention that Kankri had to bring Karkat to a red carpet party and Karkat had only been there for two hours before frantically texting him that he has to pick him up right now . Karkat hadn’t elaborated any and simply hid himself in his room once they got home, which only frustrated Kankri more.

Kankri leaned back into Cronus a little, glancing over at Mituna for a moment. The two had been a bit more physically affectionate in front of the other, despite Kankri’s original protests, Cronus never stopped so Kankri gave up on trying to scold him.

If Mituna thought anything of it he hasn’t said anything to him about it, but Kankri is sure Mituna suspects something if the tight lipped smile he gives when they go off anywhere alone says anything.

Mituna sat up in his chair, squinting at something on his screen, scrolling a bit more and looking at Kankri.

“Uhhhh,” Mituna said, pausing as he read something on his tablet now, eyes dancing across the screen.

“What is it?” Kankri asked, looking up.

Karkat’s door slammed open and they all jumped as he came running down the stairs, holding his phone out.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?” Karkat shouted, shoving his phone in Kankri’s face. Kankri blinked and grabbed it from him and read the display on the screen.

There was a picture of Karkat on top of a random male Kankri did not recognise. They were both staring at each other mildly shocked and the stranger's face was flushed red.

There was writing underneath.

Karkat stumbles at the red carpet party. An accident, or an excuse to be near his secret boyfriend?

“Oh dear,” Kankri said and Karkat snatched it back.

“ Oh dear? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?” Karkat shouted and then turned his phone so Kankri could watch him scroll. “IT’S THE ONLY THING TWITTER IS TALKING ABOUT! THEY ALL THINK I’M DATING THIS STRANGER!”

“It’s not just twitter,” Mituna said, unhelpfully as he turned his tablet to show Karkat his subreddit where everyone was speculating about it.

“Instagram too,” Cronus added, turning his own phone around that he had pulled out just to check.

Karkat was seething.

“Kankri!” He whined pathetically. “Can’t you do something to fix this? Make it go away?”

Kankri pressed his lips together, how the hell could he possibly change what suddenly everyone in Hollywood thought?

“I will do my best,” Kankri informed and Karkat stamped his foot. “Clear up that I don’t know that guy! ”

“Why are you rubbing up on him, then?” Cronus teased, pulling up another picture that indeed was taken at an inopportune moment that seemed like Karkat was humping his leg. The caption and article, as well as the comments, seemed to agree.

Karkat’s face turned red and he let out a scream.

“Kankri!” Karkat yelled and Kankri smiled and stood up. “It has only been six hours since these articles began getting posted, I will go handle it right now.”

Kankri motioned for Cronus and Mituna to follow and Karkat sighed and dragged himself back upstairs.

The three of them walked outside, Mituna trailing a little behind as he typed away on his tablet.

“How the fuck do you plan to fix this, cheif?” Cronus asked, tossing an arm around Kankri’s shoulder when they all sat in the limo.

“Mituna, can you find the name of the stranger and his location?” Kankri asked.

“David Strider, working on location.” Mituna answered immediately.

“We’re not doing this Karkat’s way,” Kankri explained and shouldered off Cronus’ arm. “Karkat’s way will make the media suspicious and they’ll be thinking he’s lying and prying into his life and not focusing on his actual works for at least six months. He has his new movie trailer coming out in five and if the media is focused on his relationships and not his actual work then the movie rates will plummet.”

“So what’s the plan then?” Mituna said and turned his tablet around to show Kankri a location. Kankri informed the driver of said location before turning back.

“They’re going to have to fake date,” Kankri informed. “That we can control, and there are going to be people who believe they’re dating regardless. We just need to speak to David and convince him to do this. They can break up after three months or so. The media will just think it’s sad they broke up and for the most part will accept that fact. A lot better than if we told the truth.”

“Karkat will not like this plan,” Mituna informed and Kankri rolled his eyes.

“This is the best plan of action for him. I don’t want his movies to tank over fake drama. I will do my best to make sure he has the best outcome of this as possible. I don’t know this David kid, nor do I care for him particularly. He is merely just a pawn for this plan.” Kankri said and leaned back.

“Kinda harsh,” Mituna mumbled, brows furrowed, presumably looking at things he found out about the stranger. 

“It’s not harsh, it’s the truth.” Kankri said and the limo stopped so the three of them climbed out. “We’ll pay him to compensate. It’s a fair deal.” Kankri said and knocked on the door of the small apartment.

It took a moment for someone to answer. 

“Uhm,” Came the quiet and nervous voice of a young adult. “Who is it?”

“Vantas Management Team, can we come in?” Kankri informed and he heard Cronus laugh at the title. Kankri was fully aware they were not in fact any sort of management team but he needed to sound professional. 

“Uh?” The other person said and Kankri was already tired and having a bad day, can’t this stranger just let him in already? “What are you here for?”

Does he seriously not know?

“I’m here to discuss social matters involving my brother.” 

Behind him, Cronus snatched Mituna’s tablet away, much to the assistant’s disagreement but Mituna just crossed his arms upsettingly instead of fighting back.

“You’re Kankri?” The other voice asked in shock and Kankri straightened a little at being recognised.

He nodded and then asked to go inside.

The opened to reveal a man. His skin was dark and he had sunglasses on despite being inside. His hair was bleached and in a locked style that went down to his shoulders, half up. His shirt was too small and his pants were too big, sagging low on his hips.

Kankri pressed his lips together at his unfit appearance of clothing and walked in.

David mentioned the state of the house despite it being spotless and offered them a drink but Kankri just shook his head.

“That won’t be necessary, I only need to speak to you.” Kankri said and David sat on the floor across from them much like a dog would and Kanri raised an eyebrow and told him he didn’t mind him sitting next to him but David moved on with the conversation.

“Okay? I don’t know if you’ve seen the recent media, but there’s been a scandal.” Kankri informed and David raised an eyebrow high over his sunglasses.

 “I haven’t, what does this have to do with me?” He asked and oh dear, he really has zero clue what is going on.

Kankri turned to Cronus, giving him a harsh stare. If he wants to take Mituna’s things, he can do his job then and Cronus rolled his eyes but turned the tablet around to show David one of the articles.

Kankri watched David read the article and immediately shook his head.

“That is not what was happening!” Dave said and Kankri sighed. “I’m aware, but Karkat sent me here to take care of it, so here I am.”

David looked at all of them in turn before looking back at Kankri.

“How… so?” 

Kankri was so tired and not wanting to deal with this omigod.

He pulled out the paper he had hastily scrawled the plans of on.

“Due to the recent situations, I’ve come up with multiple different excuses. I considered explaining the truth to the media, but they never care for that, so even if I informed them of their mistake, nothing would change. I went over a few other ways to cover up the story, none of which are buyable or make sense regarding the situation. So the only one we’ve come up with is to make the statement true.” Kankri lied. He only came up with this one because it is literally the only solution at this point.

“What?” He asked and Kankri rolled his eyes, ever annoyed with him. “You two are going to date.” He informed.

“WHAT?” Dave shrieked and covered his mouth quickly, eyebrows high and he panickedly turned to the door by the couch where an adult came running out, glaring and hands in a fist.

“DAVID WHAT-” The man cut himself off upon seeing them and Kankri got an uneasy feeling in his chest. “Who the hell are these guys?”

Kankri looked at the adult and then David, taking in his suddenly stiff and vigilant posture. He kept his mouth shut though and clasped his hands in his laps neatly and stared back at the adult.

“Um? They’re Karkat’s…” David trailed off so Kankri offered a hand for the adult to shake.

“I’m Kankri, Mr. Vantas’ brother and manager, as well as in control of his media influence.” He introduced formerly. The adult scoffed and pushed his hand away and Kankri saw red.

Cronus rested a hand on his back, rubbing a soft circle and Kankri relaxed a little

“Great, how long are you going to be here?” The man asked and Kankri shrugged. “However long it takes for us to come to a conclusion.”

“Well hurry it up then,” The man informed David, voice tight and deep and Kankri decided he was not a fan of the adult as he retreated away.

“We need you and Karkat to pretend to date, keep up the romance look.” Kankri turned the conversation back to what they had been originally discussing. 

“Woah, woah! Why?” Dave asked and Kankri sighed again.

“I already said that trying to explain anything else would only cause more trouble.” Kankri said and David looked at Mituna and Cronus like they could help any. Cronus shrugged lazily at him and Mituna was fidgeting in his seat.

Could this guy just hurry up and agree already?

Kankri began to discuss what they would have to do as well as payment for compensation. After a bit, David finally gave in.

“Yeah, okay, I’ll do it.” He mumbled and Kankri scoffed and stood, glad that it was over and they could go home with this sorted out now. “There wasn’t much of a choice to it, kid. But thanks for agreeing. We’ll get the first payment sent to your bank soon and our team will contact you if we need you for events. Tomorrow a driver will come pick you up so you two can sort boundaries and such. Give Cronus your phone.” 

David slowly handed it over and thankfully Cronus understand what Kankri was asking without having to say it. Being two years in a relationship helps that a little, he guesses.

“Those are mine, Karkat and Mituna’s numbers. If you need to contact any of us for whatever reason, please don’t hesitate. I wouldn’t recommend messaging my brother until you’ve spoken again in person. Have a wonderful day.” Kankri left then, ready to get the fuck out and move this day along as fast as possible before he could curl up in bed with Cronus’ arms wrapped tight around him

Cronus followed after instantly, wrapping an arm around him.

“Seeing you all agro and business is kinda hot,” Cronus said low in his ear and Kankri rolled his eyes and pushed him off as Mituna caught up.

Kankri hadn’t expected much from it, just another part-time acting job for Karkat to deal with. Kankri forcing them to talk at first and expecting them to have no effect on each other. Kankri expected them to maybe hate each other, or for Karkat to at least.

Like, the first day was a shit show, and then preparing them to be guests at the talk show had also not gone well.

And now Karkat had fucked up the entire plan Kankri made for him, again , even though this was all to help him! Why couldn’t Karkat just do what he was fucking told! Kankri is trying to give him the best life and his dreams why is he making it so difficult?

He had fought with Gamzee again, after Kankri explicitly stated that if he truly bothered him that much to leave him alone .

Karkat was screaming at Cronus in the limo, yelling with sarcasm dripping from his voice and that was just the cherry on top: his brother yelling at his boyfriend.

“Stop yelling at him!” Kankri shouted as he climbed in and the two got into a fight over the situation, David, Cronus and Mituna just awkwardly silent as they got into a regular screaming match.

They didn’t use to fight this much, Kankri didn’t believe arguing got anyone anywhere, but Karkat had been irritating him recently, refusing to get help, refusing to talk to his friends, to make up with Gamzee and now pulling stunts like this.

Kankri wasn’t even that mad, okay? But Karkat was yelling and it was so much easier to scream at his brother than to try and have a civil conversation.

He misses when he and his brother were close, watching movies together, hanging out with their friends together and so on.

Why did they have to fight so much?

David looked like he wanted to be anywhere else as they screamed and Karkat insisted he wasn’t childish and Kankri couldn’t stand it.

“ YOU ARE! ” Kankri screamed and instantly regretted it when his brother’s eyes widened.

Karkat ignored him and Kankri felt guilt flooding in his chest, filling his chest with an ugly feeling.

“Karkat, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that.” Kankri knew how much Karkat hated being babied, treated like a child too immature to make his own decisions and Kankri had just sunk low enough to hit that point of weakness.

Karkat said nothing and Kankri huffed. Of course, he was upset at being called childish and was now acting like a child, of fucking course!

“ Karkat ,” Kankri said more forcefully, trying to will his brother to look at him.

Still no answer and Kankri huffed. “Fine! Be that way!”

Kankri leaned back and Cronus wrapped an arm comfortingly around him, excepted Kankri was mad and panicked so the touch didn’t actually help all that much, but Cronus was his boyfriend, he shouldn’t lash out on him too. They argued some as well, with boundaries and the whole Mituna thing, but Kankri’s never lashed out at him, Cronus didn’t deserve that right now.

Suddenly, Karkat said “what the fuck?” And looked at David.

Kankri looked up and David grinned at Karkat, despite how abrasive Karkat had been to him. He smiled like he just told the world’s funniest joke and Karkat squinted at him like he had five heads.

David typed away on his phone some and Karkat looked increasingly confused until he suddenly laughed.

He-

Kankri looked at Cronus, who also gave Karkat a weird look.

Karkat hasn’t laughed, or smiled at all for that matter, for the longest time. And here this almost stranger was, texting something so flawlessly that it made Karkat laugh.

Kankri was aware he probably looked bewildered right now but it’s just-

Karkat hasn’t been happy for a long, long time. Despite everything Kankri tried to do to help.

But if David made Karkat happy, Kankri wasn’t going to let the other go.

The two continued laughing and whispering to each other as they texted and Karkat had punched David at some point because he had laughed so hard it hurt.

Kankri put a hand on Cronus’ arm and squeezed, hoping he somehow conveyed his emotions through it and Cronus shuffled closer.

Karkat was happy around this kid.

When David left, Kankri turned, a soft smile placed on his lips as he looked at Karkat.

“You two seem to be getting along.” He stated.

Karka rolled his eyes and Kankri took the chance to properly apologise now that they were both in a better state of mind.

He really shouldn’t have said Karkat’s feud with Gamzee was incorrectly placed, Gamzee had been, technically, the reason Nepeta got hurt, whether Karkat’s theory about it was correct or not. And Gamzee had ruined the show’s ratings after being exposed as a drug addict, made the work environment uncomfortable for everyone there until he got sober.

Kankri shouldn’t have invalidated that.

Karkat seemed to accept his apology and Kankri felt the flood of guilt flow away.

They talked about David and Karkat insisted it was just acting, but Kankri knows how Karkat is when acting and his coworkers. He’s not been this happy in a while.

Kankri scheduled more things, so Karkat and David- Well, Dave as he has been corrected- could hang out more and it was working better than Kankri imagined.

Karkat was relaxed, happy, smiling and it was all because of Dave and whatever the hell he was doing to make that happen. Kankri was grateful for the stranger lifting Karkat’s spirits.

And Kankri made sure to tell Dave such.

The other had looked bewildered though, like he hadn’t done anything in particular and Kankri tried to express how much it truly meant that he was able to get Karkat to so much as smile.

Dave had then turned the conversation around, telling Kankri to relax on the publicity stuff if he knew Karkat hated it before fleeing.

Kankri stood, frozen while clutching his clipboard.

Was Dave right? Was-

Was Kankri the reason Karkat was unhappy?

Maybe not The Reason, but a reason.

Kankri never wanted to contribute to his brother’s unhappiness, he was his brother, whom he swore to protect and give the best life to.

Kankri’s idea of the best life was being as successful as possible but Dave said Karkat’s was to have fun.

Did Kankri need to lay off?

He thought about it while they waited for Dave to come downstairs.

They all left for the photoshoot and entered the limo and Kankri felt a sour taste fill in his mouth when he saw Mituna pressed into a corner, shaking a little with a frown present on his lips.

Kankri looked at Cronus who just grinned and pat the seat next to him at the other end of the limo.

Kankri ignored him and sat next to Mituna, careful to leave a little space as neither were big fans of touch. Mituna relaxed some and Kankri was going to have to ask him what happened later, though he wasn’t sure he would like the answer.

Mituna stayed in the solemn mood until Latula was brought up, to which Kankri tightened his jaw some as Mituna began to ramble excitedly about his girlfriend to Dave.

It was no secret that Kankri used to have a crush on Latula, and even maybe now still. But Kankri had been, well, for lack of better word, extreme in how he tried to express his feelings to Latula he had ended up scaring her off.

Kankri was happy that Mituna and she were happy, but he couldn’t hide the small bitter part of himself that thought it should be him with her. Another part felt guilty for thinking that because he was in a “happy” relationship with Cronus.

A happy one.

Yeah.

Karkat and Dave began teasing each other and Kankri focused on that, smiling as he watched how happy his brother was. It had been a week and he was already so relaxed, calm and happy and Kankri felt proud. Though it wasn’t his original intention, he had helped with this.

They dropped the two off for acting and then rode off to get their breakfast meals and Kankri realised belatedly they never asked Dave for his meals, but the other didn’t eat much so maybe he wouldn’t mind?

Kanaya messaged him later she brought him food and Kankri was relieved he hadn’t just left him to starve.

Kankri and Mituna went up to get all the ordered food while Cronus sat in the car.

“What happened?” Kankri asked as he slowly picked up many drinks off the counter.

Mituna swallowed harshly and shook his head.

“No idea what you mean.” Mituna lied and Kankri looked at Mituna, his best friend since second grade and Mituna cleared his throat. “You’re going to say I’m trying to make myself a victim.”

“I won’t,” Kankri says and Mituna inhales deeply.

“You’ve done it before, Kankri. Sometimes I swear you hate me with how much you say shit like that and claim I’m ableist.” Mituna informed and Kankri frowned.

“What? I don’t hate you I just-” Kankri cut himself off. There is no just, his friend thinks he hates him because of things he repeatedly says. “I’m sorry. I mean it, okay? I shouldn’t- I shouldn’t say that shit to you.”

Mituna was silent as he grabbed bags and containers and turned.

“Cronus was touching me again.” Mituna says and Kankri frowns deeply. “He- Ugh, he had his hand on my thigh and I asked him to stop and he just- He just-”

Mituna shivered with a deep frown and bit his tongue. Kankri felt partially responsible somehow for Mituna’s distraught.

“He kept moving it higher and higher everytime I told him to stop, so I stopped saying it hoping that would shut it down but then he was all,” Mituna took a shaky breath. “ Finally got you to stay quiet ? Like it was his whole goal. He’s being creepy. Like a lot more than normal, especially recently and it’s- I don’t like being around him.”

Kankri and him carried the food slowly to the limo and Kankri sighed deeply.

“I’m sorry,” Kankri said and he didn’t know what else to say. His boyfriend had practically just sexually assualted his best friend, what do you say to that?

They got back in the car, both sitting far away from Cronus and the other glared at Kankri for it.

They returned to Karkat’s place of work and Kankri helped Latula with directing, happy to just be at her side sometimes until it got to Karkat’s shoot with Eridan and Gamzee.

He was stiff and uncomfortable and Kankri found it weird how what used to be normal on him now seemed so strange.

Latula tried to get him to relax and when nothing worked, Kankri pulled her close to whisper in her ear.

“Get Dave over here,” He suggested. “Karkat practically melts around him.”

It was just a theory really, Kankri wasn’t sure if Dave had that much of an effect that when Kankri was at his most stressed and between his two leat favourite people that he’d be able to get him to relax, but it was worth a shot.

And- Really, Kankri hadn’t expected it to work- Karkat had relaxed the moment Dave stepped over, smiling softly and laughing at the jokes Dave was telling.

And maybe this kid was more powerful than Kankri thought, and maybe there was more to this than he was originally seeing.

After they had to go to their next shoot Eridan was riding with them.

Karkat got mad at him and Kankri bit his tongue but it wasn’t really his idea, Cronus had told his brother to go with them before Kankri could inform him it wasn’t a good idea.

Kankri was fully aware that the Amporas were all a little touchy, and unlike Kankri himself, Karkat was able to tell Eridan to fuck off for it.

Eridan was nowhere near as bad as his brother (and maybe Kankri shouldn’t think things like that about his boyfriend) but it was enough to make Karkat terrified he would be.

Or maybe Karkat just assumed Eridan would be as bad as Cronus and Kankri felt that guilt flooding him again as he sat across from Karkat.

By having Cronus in his life, he’s hurt the two people he cares about most.

Karkat steered clear of all Amporas just because he knew how Cronus was and Mituna continuously had horrible encounters with Cronus.

How fucking awful was Kankri that he didn’t realise this all earlier?

Shouldn’t he have known? Or was he too busy being blinded by how thrilling the idea of being with Cronus was?

After they dropped Karkat and Dave off, Kankri shuffled over to Mituna.

“I’m going to talk to him, you go with, okay?” Kankri asked and Mituna gave him a wary look but nodded.

“Okay,” Mituna mumbled and crawled out.

The limo began moving again and Cronus got up, sitting next to Kankri so close their legs and shoulders touched.

“Aw babe, getting us all alone?” Cronus said, voice low and sultry and Kankri bit his tongue as Cronus leaned in close. 

“Whatever you’re thinking, that’s not why we’re alone,” Kankri said and Cronus rolled his eyes, slowly kissing at Kankri’s jaw and Kankri’s breath hitched for a moment and he placed a hand on Cronus’ legs to try and ground himself.

“Cronus, I need to seriously talk to you,” Kankri informed but Cronus just hummed in response, tugging at the neck of Kankri’s turtle neck and pressing bruising kisses there.

“ Cronus ,” Kankri said a little firmer when Cronus lightly bit. “Mituna said that you were touching him earlier, after he repeatedly asked you to stop.”

Cronus groaned and pulled away, turning to look Kankri in the eyes.

“Are you kidding, is that what this is about? Dude come on, you’re not jealous right?” Cronus asked. “I obviously don’t like the little retard like that.”

“Cronus that- No, that’s not why I’m upset, I’m not jealous .” Kankri said and Cronus rolled his eyes.

“I don’t see any other reason why you’d be upset than.” Cronus stated and Kankri turned to fully face him and stuck his arm out, keeping him at arms reach.

“Woah, okay, listen .” Kankri said. “You were touching Mituna in a very sexual manner and he did not like it. We’ve been over this before already. Don’t touch Mituna, at all, he doesn’t like it.”

“If he wanted me to stop, he should’ve said such.” Cronus scoffed, arms crossed.

“He did .” Kankri said exasperatedly.

“Oh really, were you here then? Were you here when this whole thing was going down?” Cronus asked. “How do you know Mituna isn’t just making up some bullshit story anyway? You know he hates me and you’re all worried he’ll find out about our relationship. So what if he knows and is trying to get you to hate me?”

“I- Mituna wouldn’t do that.” Kankri insisted and Cronus raised an eyebrow.

“He wouldn’t? He lies all the time. Lied about where he was last month so he didn’t have to pick Sollux up from his campus, lied about his qualifications when he applied with Crocker Industries. Lied about his “disability” to get to the front of the line at the store last week . Who's to say he wouldn’t lie about this?” Cronus asked.

Kankri frowned, staring hard at Cronus and feeling that horrible guilty feeling filling him up some more as he found himself somehow believing what Cronus was saying.

“There’s a difference in those things and this.” Kankri insisted. “He wouldn’t lie about such a big thing.”

“Wouldn’t he?” Cronus asked and waved a hand around. “Kanny, come on. Like a year ago you yelled at me for touching Mituna. Do you really think I’d go against your wishes like this?”

Cronus put his hands on Kankri’s waist, pulling him into his lap and Kankri’s tongue felt like lead as he allowed it.

Yes, Cronus would go against his wishes like this, he has before and many times after. But-

Kankri was a fool.

Kankri sighed and placed his hands on Cronus’ chest.

“I’m sorry, I just- Mituna is my best friend and he was really worried, I wanted to make sure everything was okay.” Kankri said and Cronus smiled wickedly as he brought a hang up to Kankri’s cheek.

“Yeah, it’s okay to want to protect your friends, chief.” Cronus purred and then pulled Kankri down. “Now come on, let’s take advantage of these tinted windows.”

Kankri felt…

Dirty.

He’s always felt some sort of shame being with Cronus, I mean, wasn’t that the whole reason he was with him? Because he was the bad boy loner who’s Kankri’s friends hated?

But he’s never felt dirty before.

He believed what Mituna said, he would never ever (okay well now he was going to never ever) accuse Mituna of making that shit up. 

And he doesn’t think he believes Cronus at all, but sometimes it’s easier to just pretend he believed him, pretend that-

That Kankri doesn’t know Cronus is exceptionally flawed.

Kankri was getting more frustrated as the days went on, frustrated with himself and with Cronus. The other just kept touching him in public despite Kankri’s years of protest and it was becoming the final straw.

But Kankri didn’t want to snap when Karkat was finally finally fucking happy.

So he tried to keep his cool.

He told Cronus to not go on as many jobs with them and Cronus, surprisingly, obliged. Kankri allowed himself to fully hear Mituna out on everything

Because apparently Cronus has been doing shit the whole past two years without getting caught.

Guilt became a whirlpool inside of Kankri the more Mituna revealed.

The couch incident, leaning into his space, pressing a kiss to his cheek at the Christmas party (holiday party if you ask Kankri) last year, a hand on his back without permission, innuendos here and there, all of it.

And Kankri saw red.

How dare he let himself get so caught up in how “thrilling” it was to be with Cronus that he didn’t notice any of Mituna’s discomfort.

When Kankri asked Mituna why he never brought these things up earlier, Mituna’s answer made Kankri pause.

“Because he made you happy.”

But did he?

Did Cronus ever make him happy?

He used to think so but-

Seeing how Karkat and Dave were, how Karkat smiled and laughed so easily, how Dave seemed to proud of himself when Karkat relaxed, how they leaned into each other’s space so easily…

That was happy, and Cronus has never made him feel like that.

Cronus made him feel like an item on display. Something he was proud to show off and would sometimes spend intimate time with, but other than that, he never put effort in to make Kankri happy.

Sure, he was there to comfort him sometimes, but he wouldn’t listen to when Kankri needed to vent or had problems, when he was excited about something or an idea he had.

He never made Kankri laughed so hard his sides hurt.

Kankri had felt special with Cronus, but never happy .

It was another week later, and Kankri was tired. He called Cronus over to talk, maybe see if he can fix Cronus before breaking up?

It was awful, it was awful because despite how awful Cronus was, parts of Kankri still wanted him.

Cronus came up to his room and instantly closed the door, pressing Kankri to it and kissing him deeply.

Kankri didn’t push back, he had no idea what the outcome of this conversation was going to be and as wrong as it was, Kankri wanted to enjoy it some before it was gone.

Cronus chuckled low into the kiss and shoved Kankri back to the bed, the springs making a loud creak and Cronus climbed over him.

Kankri pressed a hand to his firm and muscular chest and held a finger up to his mouth to silence him, carefully listening to Karkat.

They were quiet and when they heard nothing, Cronus sighed and leaned down, kissing harshly at Kankri’s neck and the other tilted his head to the side for better access, letting out a breathy whine.

They continued for a bit until Kankri whined and pushed Cronus back, looking at him earnestly.

“Can-” Kankri paused and bit his lip. He really shouldn’t be doing this, not with the things he knew and needed to say. But fuck, the part of him who still wanted this was latching onto everything it could.

“Can we cuddle?” Kankri asked and Cronus let out a huff of air and grinned.

“You’re so cute, yeah, come here,” Cronus fell to his side and wrapped an arm around Kankri. Kankri let strong warm arms envelope him and hold him tight to Cronus’ chest.

They laid there, calmly for who knows how long until Karkat suddenly burst into the room and they jumped apart.

“Were you two fucking cuddling?” Karkat asked and Kankri said no, but could hear Cronus say “yes” over him.

Right.

Kankri punched Cronus as all the anger he was feeling about this came bubbling to the surface again.

After a quick conversation, Karkat left and Cronus rubbed his arm.

“Kanny, dude, that was fucking hard.” Cronus said and Kankri huffed in anger.

“Look, I have told you over and over again that I didn’t want people knowing about us. And despite me telling you, you continuously try and get us caught. Why and don’t give me that bullshit “it’s hot” excuse, give me an actual one.” Kankri said and Cronus sat up, brows furrowed.

“Well first of all, it’s not bullshit, it’s true.” Cronus said, leaning in close so his voice dropped in Kankri’s ear, one hand moving to run up his sweater. “The idea of some catching us together, all romantic like. You getting all red and embarrassed because perfect little you was caught with hot mess me. It’s hot .”

Cronus licked up Kankri’s neck and Kankri bit his tongue.

“Cronus, we just engaged in intercourse, I need you to stop and listen to me for once.” Kankri said and Cronus scoffed.

“We didn’t engage in anything. We kissed and you grinded on me but we did not fuck, because you never let me fuck you.” Cronus said and moved closer to Kankri. “So do you want to make your little statement true? Cause then we can have this conversation?”

Right, here came the harder part of the conversation.

“We never have full intercourse because I-” Kankri inhaled deeply. “It’s not that it’s you, I just don’t want to do that with anyone.”

Cronus gave him a disbelieving look. “Really? Cause when you were grinding on me before it sure seemed like you were ready to be pounded into the bed.”

“That- It’s different,” Kankri said. “I… feel sexual urges but I don’t actually- Actual intercourse has no interest for me. I could be doing a million other things, like nice warm cuddle we had before.”

“Uh-huh,” Cronus said in disbelief, giving him a strange look that- For once- Kankri could not read what it meant. “You feel sexual urges but don’t want me to fuck you. Sounds real fucking lame.”

“Cronus. I’m asexual.” Kankri informed since he just wasn’t getting it. “I don’t know how to explain what I feel to you, but I do not want to have penetrative sex with you. Not now and not ever.”

“Listen I get you’ve got this whole uptight and prudish thing going on, but I know you want me to fuck you.” Cronus said, running a hand up Kankri’s side. “I hear those beautiful moans and whines you make for me baby.”

“No,” Kankri said firmly and grabbed Cronus’ hand and held it firmly away. “And I have other things to say.”

“Ugh, god you’re so controlling, you know that?” Cronus informed and Kankri was in fact aware of this.

“Stop touching Mituna and me, without either of our consent.” Kankri said, no ordered because it wasn’t getting through his head any way else.

“Dude, laaaame!” Cronus said and leaned back away now. “First of all, you’re my boyfriend, I can do whatever I want. And Mituna needs to stop being such a baby.”

“Mituna is not a “baby” for how he feels about things, and to think of him as such is infantilising towards disabled and autistic people alike. As well as you constantly insisting on calling him that dratted word! He is an adult and just because he has boundaries doesn’t make him any less so.” Kankri said sharply, still holding Cronus' hand away from his body.

“And second, I am your boyfriend, not a prize . You can’t do whatever you want because I am a person too.” Kankri said, breathing out heavily. “I am getting frustrated with this conversation. I need you to go downstairs so I can have my space and we can have a civil conversation.”

Cronus pulled his arm away and stood. 

“Fine! Whatever, control freak! Maybe you’ll calm the fuck down and get off your high horse by then.” Cronus left and went downstairs.

Kankri sighed out heavily and ran a hand through his hair, leaning over to grab his phone.

He messaged for Mituna to come by, it was almost time for them to bring Dave and Karkat to the talk show, and closed his phone.

He paced around his room, exhaling slowly and trying to calm himself.

Kankri grabbed his keys and clipboard and went downstairs, where Dave and Karkat were talking to Cronus about him smoking.

Kankri felt the anger rise again and he snatched the cigarette out of Cronus’ mouth and motioned for everyone to go to the car.

“You know what I’ve said about smoking,” Kankri said hushed Cronus. “It’s dangerous and can kill you and I don’t like how it tastes when we kiss.”

“Oh but I thought that you didn’t like that stuff!” Cronus says sarcastically and rolling his eyes. “It’s a cigarette , not a pipe bomb, Kanny. I’ll be fine.”

“But it’s dangerous.” Kankri says as they approach the car. “And I don’t want you dying because of something stupid.”

“It’s not stupid, it’s cool,” Cronus insists as they climb into the car. “ And stop trying to control every aspect of my life! It’s my fucking life and my goddamn business, I don’t need you acting like a concerned mother and hovering over every little thing I do.”

Kankri huffed. Of course they were still fighting, because none of this was shit you just got over anyway, Kankri was a fool for thinking they could move past this.

“ I don’t try to control every aspect of your life!” Kankri found himself saying, all the evaporated anger coming back full force and more. Kankri was pissed. Cronus touched him and his friend without consent and saw it as no big deal. Thought Kankri was lying about his sexuality. Made his brother uncomfortable around his brother. Cronus was awful in every way and Kankri wa a fool for not seeing it earlier. “Just the bad habits you have! It’s not my fault you have so many !”

He was aware of his brother, friend and Dave in the car, but he didn’t care anymore. If this is what it took for Cronus to listen to him, then fuck it, he’s fighting with him here and now.

“Oh, big fucking talk coming from you! You preach about helping people and then fucking yell at Mituna and shit for being a stereotype. You’re not doing the good and change in the world you fucking think you are, if anything you’re just contributing to the bad things in the world.”

Cronus’ words cut deep. Because Kankri has been trying to change, he is aware of his own many flaws, how he can come off as creepy, how he says the wrong things, how he has a twisted view of things sometimes but unlike Cronus , Kankri acknowledged those faults and tried to change.

Kankri felt his eyes burn and held back any tears because Cronus would latch onto that weakness.

“How fucking dare you,” Kankri’s voice shook as he spoke the words. Despite how horrible Cronus was, Kankri had still loved him for two years. It was hard to be fighting with him and hearing him say this shit after all that. “I try as hard as I can to make change, you’ve been by my side since forever trying to make a change and now you just try and discredit any of my efforts? What, because I try to help you when you have issues?”

“I don’t have issues!” Cronus laughed and god was that laughable because it would take a shorter amount of time to list the non-issues Cronus had than the issues he did.

Non-Issue: He’s hot.

That’s it.

Kankri couldn’t help the pure sarcasm that dripped from his voice as he took a hand off the steering wheel to put it dramatically on his chest and gasp.

“You don’t?! ” Kankri gasped and he could practically hear the anger from Cronus. “Oh well fuck me with a chainsaw! You’re just a perfect human being aren’t you? Because that completely explains why I’m the only friend you have!”

“Like I’m not the same to you?!” Cronus argued with him. “Name one friend you have besides me! Someone who actually enjoys your free time and would hang out with you outside of work!”

“I would,” Mituna piped up from the background and Cronus turned in the seat to yell at him. “Literally shut the fuck up no one is talking to you, you absolute fucking moron.”

And that was the fucking last starw because Cronus has already hurt Mituna so much , maybe not physically but definitely emotionally, and he was not allowed to be fucking screaming at him when Mituna isn’t even the person he’s mad at here!

“Don’t talk to him like that!” Kankri shouted at him, full of rage. “And unlike you, I do have friends who don’t need to be paid to be in my presence.”

“Oh, like who?” Cronus said, mocking him and it was then Kankri kind of realised something.

Cronus thought he had no friends.

Cronus thought he had Kankri trapped around his finger, doing whatever he wanted whenever he wanted because no one would back him up if something happened. Despite the fact he always claimed it’d be hot if hsi friends found out, he never truly believed Kankri had friends.

Well fuck Cronus because he couldn’t have been more wrong.

“Porrim, Latula, Rufioh, Meenah depending on the day, Horuss, Damara, Kurloz, to name a few.” Kankri was gripping the steering wheel tight.

“Guys, stop arguing,” Karkat said, voice low and Kankri looked in the rear view mirror to see both Dave and Mituna were not holding up well and more guilt was filling his body.

In fact, there was so much of it, Kankri felt like he was drowning, swimming blindly as his lungs struggled to find air. He was drowning in the guilt of having hurt people close to him, people who didn’t deserve it. Kankri was going to fight this, he was going to swim and he would get to the top and he wouldn’t let Cronus drown him like this.

Kankri could swim, he could, and he will.

Cronus yelled something at Karkat and Karkat shot back to him harshly.

“Don't take your anger at Kankri out on me. And stop fucking arguing while he is driving that is not fucking safe, I don’t want to get into a car crash.” Karkat said and Kankri flinched. He was so fucking selfish, not even considering his brother’s car crash related trauma, scaring him into thinking they may crash at any moment.

“Oh boohoo, poor little rich actor can’t handle it when people fucking argue.” Cronus taunted and Kankri would have punched him in the face if he was 100% certain they wouldn’t crash. “Us having a fucking conversation isn’t going to do shit, you need to stop fucking freaking out over fucking everything. This shit doesn’t concern you so stay the fuck out of it you fucking pathetic spaz.”

Kankri opened his mouth, ready to tell Cronus off for attacking his brother now, his brother who, again, was not involved with this and did not deserve Cronus’ anger, but Dave beat him to it.

“I don’t know what your deal right now is, but you’re upsetting fucking everyone in the car, calling everyone a moron and pathetic isn’t going to make you win your argument. And I don’t know what it is you’re arguing over but I’m finding it really hard to believe that you do have any friends besides Kankri. And arguing like this is only going to make that one friend none, so please, shut the fuck up.” Dave yelled before going silent and putting headphones on.

Kankri would’ve kissed him if it weren’t insanely inappropriate so he kept his mouth shut. He just needed to drop them off and then he could continue yelling all he wanted at Cronus.

Kankri could feel the tears he’d been trying so desperately to hold back fall. This was a mess, a huge mess and it was his fault.

They arrived at their destination and Mituna climbed out with Dave and Karkat, shooting Kankri a worried look and Kankri lifted his hands so Mituna could see.

‘It’s going to be fine,’ Kankri signed. ‘We’re breaking up.’

Mituna seemed to relax a little at that and nodded.

‘Good luck ,’ Mituna signed back before turning back to Dave and Karkat.

Kankri drove off.

“What the fuck was that, were you talking about me?” Cronus asked and Kankri rolled his eyes.

“Well if you actually fucking learned sign language then you’d know!” Kankri shouted. “I tried to teach you when I introduced you to Kurloz and Meulin.”

“They don’t fucking like me, why would I learn a language for them?” Cronus scoffed. “And why should we have to go out of our way to learn something for them?”

“Omigod you’re so fucking close minded it hurts!” Kankri shouted. “And just shut the fuck up until we park, okay? Then you can fucking yell at me all you want!”

Cronus said nothing but remained silent as they drove. After around twenty minutes, Kankri parked in front of the Ampora household.

Cronus looked up at it and then back at Kankri, confused.

“Why the fuck would you bring me back here?” Cronus asked and Kankri huffed. “You know that I-”

“Oh yes I know you have fucking daddy issues and your brother hates you and your mom passed away and the rest of your family can’t stand you. I’ve heard it so many times Cronus but I do not care!” Kankri shouted. “Your mess is not mine to deal with anymore!”

Cronus looked mad and shook his head as he slumped down in his seat.

“Oh wow, one fucking argument and now we’re done? You’re just going to call it quits like that? Over one thing?” Cronus asked and Kankri shouted in frustration, making Cronus flinch. 

“It’s not ONE THING!” Kankri yelled. “It’s the touching, it’s the disrespect, it’s the ignorance and the fact you don’t make me happy! We’re dating, we shouldn't dread seeing the other. I hated anytime we were alone because regardless of if I asked you to stop, you wouldn’t fucking stop touching me! And Mituna! And you’re just awful! I have every fucking right to not like you, and the fact you can’t fucking see all your flaws is what’s my breaking point here! I thought maybe I could fix you, help you change but you think you’re flawless for some ungodly reason! 

“You have no friends, you’re an asshole, you’re inconsiderate and so help me god I could go on for fucking hours Cronus! I didn’t want to pay attention to your flaws because you made me feel like I was fucking special, like something to be shown off! But a 1st place medal doesn’t matter if no one knows it exists! You have no friends to show me off too and you never cared for me beyond that! All you cared about was trying to fuck me and ruin me!” Kankri shouted, red in the face.

Cronus stared at him for a solid moment and Kankri glared back at him. Cronus suddenly reached over and grabbed his hand and when he spoke, his voice was tight.

“Come on, babe. We can- You can still fix me.” Cronus said, voice desperate. “I know you love me. We can move past this. I’ll change, just for you.”

And maybe Kankri would’ve believed him.

If this was the first time Cronus said those words.

But it wasn’t, he’s said it over and over again, I swear I’ll change baby, I can do better, we can fix this.

Kankri was done with it.

Kankri pulled his hand away.

“Cronus, we are done .” Kankri said, voice sharp and Cronus looked up, reading his expression like he was lying to him.

“Bitch,” Cronus suddenly said and climbed over the middle, straddling Kankri and he let out a surprised scream. “You’re such a fucking bitch.”

“Cronus, get off me.” Kankri said, trying to push Cronus away but Cronus grabbed his arms and held them back against the car seat and Kankri’s chest tightened in fear. “Cronus, I’m fucking serious, get off of me.”

“No,” Cronus purred, grinning with such malice that it sent a cold spike of fear down Kankri’s spine. “No. Little bitches don’t get to make orders here. You want to fucking leave me? Go and tell your little friends what I did? Acting like you didn’t mother fucking love half the shit I did? I’m leaving you with a little farewell gift then.”

Cronus leaned down and shoved Kankri’s turtle neck out of the way, Kankri trying to pull away. Cronus held him in place firmly and bit hard on his neck and Kankri cried out in pain.

“Look at you making little sounds for me already.” Cronus teased and Kankri felt tears welling up in his eyes, his knees closing a little to trap Kankri even more.

“Cronus, stop this before I call the fucking cops on you.” Kankri threatened, voice shaking.

“You can’t do that.” Cronus said and grind down on Kankri’s lap. “You won’t do that. It’d ruin my little brother’s career, and then it’d ruin Karkat’s. You wouldn’t do that, right?” Cronus grinded down again and Kankri began crying again.

Kankri hated that he was right. If he called the cops on Cronus, paparazzi would swarm Eridan with questions about what happened, and if word ever got out what happened, they’d look into Eridan’s behaviour and it would not look good. And Karkat was his friend, his co-star, the drama would bleed over for sure.

“Cronus,” Kankri cried out desperately. “Please stop.”

Cronus began to rock his hips against Kankri and Kankri felt awful and disgusting for how his body reacted to it, a small erection forming like he enjoyed any part of this, which he didn’t .

“Nahhh, come on, I’m doing it just how you like it,” Cronus taunted. “Little Kankri seems to enjoy it.” Cronus ground down again and Kankri’s breath hitched.

“Cronus please-” Kankri broke off with a sob as Cronus latched onto his neck again, leaving hickies and bites all up his neck. “Cronus stop it, please.”

Cronus growled. “Shut the fuck up.” He said and then put both of Kankri’s hands in one, using the other to squeeze Kankri’s face until his mouth opened. 

Cronus began harshly kissing him, his tongue diving deep in Kankri’s mouth and Kankri debated biting down on the tongue before deciding that probably wouldn’t have gone over well.

Tears were streaming endlessly down his face as Cronus explored his mouth, hips rocking on Kankri’s lap, his other hand trailing up Kankri’s stomach under his shirt and Kankri felt so violated and so disgusting and he wanted it to stop but he was completely helpless. Cronus’ hands holding him firmly in place, his legs locked on either side prohibiting his movements. He was trapped.

Suddenly the driveway lights came on and Cronus froze then pulled away, looking over his shoulder and Kankri took his moment of distraction to release an arm, throwing a punch hard and hitting Cronus right in the left side of his face.

“AH! You mother fucking bitch! ” Cronus shouted and Kankri opened his door, climbing out from under Cronus in panic and falling to the ground in clumsy fear, chest heaving as he was running on pure adrenaline.

Cronus climbed out of the car and Kankri turned and tried to stand up, but Cronus grabbed his hair and shoved his face into the ground, causing Kankri to cry out in pain as Cronus sat on his back.

“Fine, fine, you want to do this the hard way?” Cronus asked and Kankri froze when he heard the sound of a belt coming undone. One of Cronus’ hands held Kankri’s waist and he grinded down into it, erection hard against his back.

Cronus threw his belt to the side, Kankri’s eyes widened as Cronus’ hands began toying with the edge of his leggings, pulling them down a little.

No, nonononono-

“CRONUS WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?” Another voice shouted and Kankri practically melted into the ground when Cronus jumped off him, tears streaming out of his face and he sobbed loudly.

“Nothing, Kanny and I were just-” Cronus was cut off by Eridan shoving him out of the way and kneeling by Kankri, who was now a sobbing mess on the ground.

“Holy shit, Kankri, are you okay?” Eridan asked and Kankri violently shook his head no, curling up on his side.

He felt disgusting, he felt used and he felt dirty all at once.

“We’re just having fun. Like boyfriends do. Sorry you’re pathetically single and wouldn’t understand.” Cronus insisted and Eridan glared at his brother. 

“This isn’t fun , he is crying Cronus. I can’t fucking believe you-” Eridan began rubbing at his temples. “Sollux was right, argh fuck. I hate saying those fucking words.”

Cronus scoffed and rolled his eyes and grinned at Kankri on the ground, winking at him and Kankri felt sick to his stomach.

“Get the fuck inside!” Eridan shouted and Cronus rolled his eyes. “You can’t tell me what to do.”

Eridan pulled something that looked like a wand out. Or, it looked like a wand until it pressed a button and the end light up with blue lightning and the sound of static filled the air. A taser. Eridan Ampora was just casually carrying a fucking taser around.

Cronus jumped at it and Eridan pointed at their house. “INSIDE!” Eridan shouted and Cronus rolled his eyes and walked away.

“FUCK YOU!” Kankri finally said, through shaky and broken sobs.

“I TRIED! ” Cronus shouted back and slammed the front door shut.

Eridan dropped to Kankri’s side.

“Holy shit, I- Fuck I don’t even know what to do. Do you need a ride home? Are you- Did he actually…?” Eridan trailed off and Kankri forced himself to sit up, body shivering and he shook his head.

“You- You came out just before. I still…. I still have to pick up Karkat from- The uh… The show.” Kankri mumbled and Eridan made a face at that.

“You didn’t see what happened?” Eridan asked and Kankri sniffled, eyes burning, his head hurt and he- Everything else hurt. But he shook his head anyway.

Eridan gingerly pulled out his phone and turned it for Kankri to see the complete and utter shit show that had happened.

Kankri groaned and fell backwards, feeling like shit.

“I can drive you back if needed,” Eridan offered and Kankri shook his head, looking at him.

“No, no I’m sorry but I- You’re too similar.” Kankri looked away from him. The same pushed back hair, the same olive skin, the same accent. “I can’t.” His voice broke.

Eridan seemed to understand what Kankri was saying and shuffled a bit away.

“Oh,” Eridan said, voice deep with sadness and Kankri wanted to punch himself because Eridan wasn’t Cronus and Kankri had basically just said he was the same. “I- Uhm, good- Good luck driving. Stay safe.”

Eridan shakily got up and walked back into the house, sparing Kankri one last pitiful glance.

Kankri stayed on the solid tar of the road until his phone buzzed, Mituna asking if he could come pick them up early and that they were currently missing Dave.

Wonderful. 

Kankri was on auto-pilot the whole way back. Pick up Karkat, pick up Karkat, pick up Karkat.

He didn’t let himself feel, it was too much. He needed to be numb and never feel again.

Kankri parked the car and stared forward emptily. Mituna was suddenly at his side and Kankri looked at him, voice stuck in his throat as he tried to speak.

“I-” He began. “I need to talk to you when we get back.”

Mituna nodded sadly, looking very pained like he knew what happened.

Maybe he did, it’s not too fair to assume based on how Cronus treated both of them that he would jump to something like this. 

But Kankri had never thought that-

Kankri should’ve broken up with him a while ago.

“Is touch okay?” Mituna asked, hand hovering over his shoulder and Kankri’s gut reaction was to say no, fuck off.

But this was Mituna. Mituna who didn’t like touch himself offering it because Kankri was distraught.

Kankri nodded and Mituna smiled tightly and began to pat his shoulder comfortingly.

Dave and Karkat got in the car now too and Kankri felt that ever present guilt well up when he saw how distraught Dave also looked.

Kankri kept the side of his face that had been shoved into the pavement out of Karkat’s view, he didn’t need to see that right now.

“I’m so sorry, ‘Kat.” Kankri apologised to his brother. “You told me you didn’t like Rufioh’s shows because his editors did shit and- And I wanted to truly believe it was the editors who twisted people’s words, I did! But I think part of me knew it was Rufioh all along and I shouldn’t have- God, I shouldn’t have forced you to go on.

Rufioh, his best friend for almost as long as Mituna, standing up an accusing his brother, the kid he babysat, took to therapist appointments, helped make dinner for, of being, of all things, an abuser.

Kankri lost two of the most important people in his life today because he was blind to how horrible they were.

“ ‘Kri, it’s not your fault,” Karkat said. “And please, you’ve had enough hell today, don’t try and blame yourself for this. I’m sure- I’m sure we can fix it.”

Hell didn’t even begin to describe what Kankri had been through.

Kankri thinks going through Hell would actually be easier right now.

Kankri gripped the steering wheel and focused on bringing them home.

Home. Get home and scrub clean every evidence of Cronus.

Home where-

Where Cronus had been laying in his bed earlier.

Where Cronus had so often lounged on their couch.

Where Cronus had cooked him dinner once.

Where Cronus had helped him shower after a long day.

Where Cronus had spent 80% of his time at.

Home-

It wasn’t home.

Kankri swallowed hard at that thought.

“Today was a shitshow.” Karkat said and Kankri could not agree more.

They got to their house and Dave and Karkat climbed out in seconds, Karkat’s hand gripping Dave’s tight and Kankri’s heart broke for a second.

Mituna came around to his side and frowned at Kankri. 

“You’re hurt.” Mituna noted and Kankri reached a hand up to touch the lightly bleeding scrape and shrugged robotically.

“Hurts more here,” Kankri said, rubbing at his chest and Mituna sighed, opening the car door for him and helping him stand.

They walked to Kankri’s room and Kankri shook his head, beginning to panic when Mituna went to open his door.

Cronus arms around him, holding him close and tight to his chest.

Mituna looked at him worriedly when Kankri jumped so far back he almost went over the railing edge (stupid open floor plan).

Mituna moved them down to the hardly used guest room and sat Kankri down, who was shaking like a leaf.

“I'm going to get the first aid kit, okay?” Mituna said and Kankri nodded.

Mituna returned two minutes earlier with everything and pulled a chair over to sit in front of Kankri on the bed.

Mituna began cleaning the scrape with gentle care and Kankri has never been more grateful for his friend before until now.

Mituna put gauze over and pressed the tape from the top of his cheek to the bottom of his jaw. Kankri felt Mituna pause.

Suddenly, a hand was gently and slowly pulling the edge of his turtleneck down and Mituna sucked in a sharp breath.

“Kankri,” Mituna gasped, eyes wide with shock as he looked at the bite marks and hickies decorating his neck. It was like he kicked down a dam, Kankri overflowing with tears as he began shaking with chest heaving sobs. Mituna wrapped him tightly in his arms, rocking them both a little as Kankri sobbed so fucking hard into his shoulder.

“Hey, hey, I’m here, okay?” Mituna said softly. “I got you.” 

Kankri wishes his dad was still alive a lot of times, but right now he wishes he was right here. Here to comfort and hold him like when he was eight and got a cut and immediately thought he was going to die because of an infection.

Mituna ran a thin hand through his hair and the two sat there slumped against each other for god knows how long.

It was a while because they didn’t pull apart until Karkat came in.

“Why are you guys in here?” Karkat asked, voice gentle as he made his way to sit next to Kankri.

“I- I can’t go-” Kankri said, pulling away from Mituna. “I can’t go in my room.”

Karkat frowned and looked at Mituna for explanation. Karkat looked back at his brother and the gauze on his cheek (Mituna had rolled his shirt hem back up, thank god).

“What happened?” Karkat asked.

And so Kankri told them, he told them everything.

How they have been dating this whole time, how they kept it a secret, all the broken boundaries, all the arguments, their big fight and then-

“That mother fucker.” Karkat said, standing up, hands in fists.

“Karkat, please.” Kankri said and Karkat shook his head.

“No! That mother fucker I- I can’t believe he’d sink that low. And I- I thought he made you happy and now I feel like shit because he didn’t he made your life awful and AGH!” Karkat screamed, angrily pacing the room now.

“I should’ve known,” Mituna said solemnly. “I should have. I saw how you two acted and I knew how he was and I- God, I should’ve known.”

“Mituna,” Kankri said, voice soft and hoarse from talking. “You didn’t know. You couldn’t have known, I didn’t tell you. Same with you Karkat. Neither of you knew, this is my fault.”

“Uhhhm! Fuck that , no it isn’t!” Karkat shouted. “What, your fault you gave the guy a car ride two years ago and he decided that meant he was entitled to every aspect of you? It’s not your fault!”

“It is, though!” Kankri shouted. “I- I knew the shit he did, to me and others. And despite that all, I kept finding excuses for why he did that shit. I didn’t- Karkat I didn’t even start seriously seeing problems until I realised you didn’t like Eridan because of him last week . I’m awful!”

Karkat turned, wide eyed.

“What?! The rea- Okay, yeah , It’s a little cause of him. I know Eridan isn’t his brother but I- I saw how he was with Mituna sometimes and I- I was scared he’d do some shit. But Eridan is also just kinda creepy! I don’t like him because he’s unlikable, it isn’t your fault I don’t like him!” Karkat shouted.

“And besides that , it’s not your fault you were so blinded by attraction you didn’t see his faults!” Karkat said. “It is not your fault he almost raped you!”

Kankri flinched and hugged himself tightly, staring dead eyed forward and swallowing hard.

“Can you-” His voice cracked and if he had anymore tears he’d probably be crying again. “Can you not say that?”

Karkat’s expression softened and he knelt next to Mituna.

“Hey, I’m sorry,” Karkat said. “I- I’m sorry this happened. I’m sorry all of this fucking happened.”

Mituna nodded and began playing absentmindedly with his fingers.

“I never liked Cronus, I know I’ve made that clear, but I didn’t.” Mituna said. “I thought like Karkat he made you happy so I- I tried to push away how he made me feel, how uncomfortable it was being around him sometimes. Because you’re my friend. But I never liked him.”

“But Rufioh?” Mituna’s voice shook a little. “Rufioh’s been one of our- One of our best friends. And he did this shit I just…”

Mituna wasn’t even the one being betrayed here, nor was Kankri really, but Rufioh attacked Karkat, and that was basically the same.

“Mituna…” Kankri said slowly. “Eridan said that- That Sollux was right. When he caught Cronus, do you know what that means?”

“I told Sollux about what happened last week.” Mituna confesses. “Sollux probably fucking used it to make fun of Eridan and say his whole family was full of creeps.”

“Oh geez,” Karkat whined and buried his face in his hands before peeking through them. “What happened last week?”

Mituna and Kankri shared a look.

“Cronus was being a creep,” Mituna said. It was hard for him to talk about the first time, and it wasn’t seeming any easier the third time. “I mean not like-” He gestures vaguely at Kankri’s dishevelled appearance. “But still a creep.”

“Ugh, I feel like I should have known.” Karkat said and Kankri picked at his leggings.

“We all feel like that I think.” Kankri mumbled.

They were silent for a good while before Kankri shakily exhaled.

“Can we talk about something else?” He asked and Karkat sat up.

“Uh- I have something?” Karkat said and Mituna and Kankri turned their full attention to him.

“Okay uhhh, geez.” Karkat laid back on the bed. “Ugh, why is this so hard to say?”

“You don’t have to tell us if you don’t want to,” Kankri reassures, despite how curious he was.

“No, no, I want to, I just- Ugh.” Karkat groaned. “I think I like Dave. Like… crush like. Like genuinely not fake.”

Kankri stared at Karkat for a moment and slowly smiled at his brother.

“You do?” Kankri asked and Karkat nodded.

“Yeah and it’s weird cause I- Like except for fucks ever ago with Eridan, I normally never get crushes on people that fast. Like it’s been three weeks but somehow I feel like it’s been years? And he’s easy to be around, I can just be me around him. I can relax and he doesn’t care,” Karkat said and flushed. “I dunno, I just got this weird feeling of “I wish this was real” today and now I’m all confused in the brain. Not to mention we just had a very heartfelt conversation that no, I’m sorry, I can’t tell you about.”

Kankri suspected what the conversation was about but knew not to push. 

He smiled at his brother though, glad that not only had everyone else around him noticed how he eased up around Dave, but that he had too.

“Karkat, if you like him, you should tell him about it.” Kankri said, smiling and Karkat groaned.

“No! I don’t even know if I actually like him or if I’m just not used to being this close to someone. I need to like- Fully figure out what my feelings are before I do anything.” Karkat said. “And if he doesn’t feel the same, I don’t want this whole fake dating thing to become super awkward.”

“I understand that,” Kankri said. “I don’t want you jumping into anything without knowing how you feel, it could hurt you both.”

“Plus sometimes it’s better to be secure in your feelings before dating them,” Mituna piped up. “‘Tula and I didn’t start dating until we were both sure we loved each other and we’ve been happy together.”

Kankri’s tongue felt like led again but he bit it.

“Yeah,” Karkat sat up and picked at his jeans. “He… He also wants me to talk to Gamzee. He mentioned that if- Well, he said when , Nepeta wakes up, she won’t want us fighting and I- I miss Gamzee too.”

Kankri was a little taken aback for two reasons.

One: That Dave Strider was able to convince Karkat to do what Kankri has been trying to get him to do for two years in three weeks.

Two: That Karkat missed Gamzee.

Kankri had been under the impression that his brother hated Gamzee, despised him and never wanted to see him again.

So to find out he had missed him this whole time?

“Oh, ‘Kat.” Kankri said and ran a hand through Karkat’s hair. The younger Vantas let out an annoyed groan.

“Don’t do that voice.” Karkat said, with no real fight. Kankri smiled wider and pulled his brother close in a hug.

“Oh!” Kankri said, his voice soft and babying. “My wittle baby brother has a cwush on Davey and wants to be fwends with Gamzee again! Awwww!”

“Mituna!” Karkat yelled, trying to escape the hug and Mituna just laughed, taking his phone out and taking a picture instead.

Karkat glared at him.

“I hope you burn in the hottest parts of hell.” Karkat said, the threat deep in his voice and Kankri gently placed his hand on his face and patted his cheek.

“Shush murderous child.” Kankri said and Karkat let out a childish scream as he flailed and tried to escape his brother’s hug.

“Where the fuck is Kurloz when you need him?” Karkat screamed. Kurloz was great at separating hugs and people fighting with pure strength. He often had to physically separate Meenah and Kankri.

“He’s on a trip with Meulin.” Mituna answered without hesitation because of course he would know, he and Kurloz are best friends.

Karkat was able to finally escape Kankri’s arms and stood up, arms up in a victory pose.

“I’m going to bed now but uh,” Karkat awkwardly patted his brother’s head. “Just come get me if I’m needed. We both have this week off.”

And with that Karkat left.

Kankri watched him going and then pressed his lips together.

“Are you good for tonight?” Mituna asked and Kankri shook his head and bit the inside of his lip.

“I-” He exhaled slowly. “Ugh, god, can you call Por?”

Mituna nodded and pulled out his phone to do such. It was bad if he was relying on Porrim to come comfort him considering Kankri hated how she tried to be mother-like to him.

But he needed it right now.

Mituna called Porrim and then said his farewells to Kankri before leaving and Kankri had to wait the half hour it would talk for Porrim to drive over.

Kankri stood up and went to the guest room bathroom, deciding to get ready for bed.

He stared at himself in the mirror and a shaky sob escaped his lips.

His eyes were red, his hair ruffled, cheek patched up, eyebags dark, eyeliner running in tear tracks, skin blotchy and here Kankri could even see one of the bite marks peeking from under the turtle neck.

His mouth, his tongue, searching every crevice of Kankri’s own.

Kankri hastily grabbed a spare toothbrush and toothpaste and began brushing his teeth, scrubbing hard. 

His tongue licking to insides of his cheeks, forcing its way down Kankri’s throat.

He scrubbed until his gums bled and then he scrubbed the walls of his cheek and his own tongue, which made him gag a little, but he didn’t care and kept brushing and kept gagging until he dropped the brush and turned towards the toilet, throwing up into it and sobbing a little as he collapsed on the ground some.

He sat there, knees hurting from the tile, for a good while until he felt the ghost of hands around his wrists.

His hands holding his wrists firmly over his head .

Kankri jumped up and started scrubbing his hands raw, tears streaming down his face now.

His one hand trailing up his side as his tongue violated him, rubbing against his side and lifting his shirt up .

Kankri tore his turtleneck off and turned the shower on, letting it heat up as he stripped the rest of his clothes off.

His groyne thrusting into Kankri’s repeatedly not matter how much he fought.

Kankri almost tripped climbing into the shower, taking all the soap there and scrubbing his skin everywhere.

Hands, thrusts, kisses, bites .

It wasn’t enough, it wasn’t enough to just scrub. Kankri needed to peel his skin off, he needed to be rid of everything Cronus has touched.

He collapsed into a sitting position, bringing his knees close to his chest and he buried his face in his knees, body shaking with forceful sobs that got lost in the stream of whatever.

The bathroom door opened and Porrim entered, eyes wide and soft and Kankri sobbed harder as she came over and knelt at his side, tucking her copy of keys away.

“Kanny,” She said softly and Kankri’s body went rigid.

“Don’t fucking call me that,” Kankri sobbed out and her expression softened evern more and she reached out to gently cradle his face.

“Poor baby,” she said softly and Kankri leaned onto the tub edge, shaking and wailing and she carefully petted his face and hair.

“Hey, what do you need me to do?” Her voice was soft and gentle and Kankri wanted to curl up into her arms. He assumes Mituna must’ve told her some of what went on because she didn’t ask any questions about why he was crying and he was grateful for that.

“I can’t-” Kankri exhaled shakily, head a migraine and nose stuffy as all hell from all the crying. “I need new clothes. Ones he- He never touched. And I- I need help washing up.”

“Okay,” She said. “You just sit here, I’ll let the tub fill up. And I’ll go to the 24 hour store down the road and buy you some nice comfy pyjamas, okay? And then we can watch some movies together in one of the guest rooms. Does that sound okay?”

Kankri nodded and Porrim smiled.

“Okay baby, I’ll be a moment then, I’ll get your phone and you can just text me if you need me before I return, okay?” Porrim asked, fetching his phone from his pants.

Kankri nodded and she turned the tub on and left while Kankri sat in it, waiting for it to fill.

She was back quicker than expected, a pair of nice red plaid pants and a loose black long sleeve in her arms.

She also had a bag full of candies and other stuff and she sat next to him on the floor and pulled something out of the bag.

“Look at this cute little bath bomb!” Porrim said, holding up a bath bomb that looked like a sloth, Kankri’s favourite animal.

He sat up a little and she smiled, unwrapping it and handing it to him, turning the water off now that it was full enough.

Kankri looked at the sloth bath bomb and his frown lifted a little. Not a smile, but not a wrinkle threatening frown either. He gently placed the bath bomb down and watch as the sloth slowly dissolved in the water. 

Porrim pulled out a plastic cup from the bag and dipped it in the water. She put a hand on Kankri’s forehead and dumped the water over his head, wetting his hair and protecting his eyes from the water.

Kankri was quiet and still as Porrim went through and washed him up, humming a song as she did. Kankri kept his eyes focused on the tattoos are her arm as she did.

Porrim made sure to wash as much of him as she could before she removed the drain stopper. She grabbed a fluffy towel off the rack and motioned for Kankri to stand up.

She opened the towel and then pulled him into a hug, effectively wrapping him up in the towel and her arms, Kankri buried his face in her neck and she hugged him tight.

“I’ve got you baby,” Porrim said and swayed a bit. “Do you want help getting dressed?”

Kankri almost shook his head no, it was already embarrassing enough to have his aunt coddling him like this.

But he doesn’t think he can bring himself to either.

He nods real small and she nods back.

“Okay,” Porrim said.

She dressed him quickly and then dropped the towel on his head, picking up her bag of things and grabbing his hand, bringing him to the guest room they were in before.

Porrim pulled out her laptop from her purse and set it up for a movie and while the trailers played, they climbed under the blankets and cuddled up to each other.

Kankri was still iffy on touch, he doesn’t know if he’ll ever be able to allow anyone within a foot to him without being sent into a panic, but Porrim’s touch was comforting, motherly and while he normally despised it, this time he welcomed it, resting his head on her chest. She made a boob pillow joke that made Kankri roll his eyes but they sat in silence, watching random comedy movies while eating snacks and candies of assorted variety.

Kankri wasn’t okay, and it would probably be a long while before he was, he hasn’t even really taken the time to dwell on Rufioh’s betrayal from today.

But he had his friends and family, who would be there to help him be okay, and that was all that mattered.

And once Kankri felt better he was so going to be planning some real dates for Karkat and Dave to have.