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when the sun loves the moon

Summary:

“I have work for us,” Rena said, deciding to move onto the topic at hand after a lengthy pause. “That is, if you’d like to come along.”

Zero looked up at her. “As long as I am duly compensated.”

“I can think of a few ways to compensate you,” Rena said wryly. “But what would you like in return?”

Zero met her gaze. “You.”

Strange things are happening at Palaka's Stand. Upon Vrtra's request, Renalei joins Estinien and Zero in an investigation to figure out what exactly is going on. But tensions are high, especially with tales of missing women and a mysterious reaper dressed in white. The Final Days are long over, but you can't escape the void... or the darkness in mankind's hearts.

Notes:

and here we are, my second piece with Zenalei~!

this will be a chaptered fic, featuring Rena, Zero, and poor Estinien having to third wheel. it's okay Estinien i promise. the things he does for Vrtra, he swears

after this, i will be posting tags/warnings in my author's notes to avoid clogging up the main tags too much. i will also be adding main tags as the story develops

whether this is porn with plot or plot with porn, i can't rightly tell yet, but so far it's the former so i'm going to stick with that for now.

anyway! i hope you enjoy more of Zero, i know we're all so desperate for food

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: the amber sun and the silver moon

Chapter Text

“Estinien!”

Renalei waved down her dear friend and fellow former Scion as she saw him step out of the Meghaduta. She’d just been heading up the stairs herself, on her way to visit Zero. Estinien paused at the sound of his name, looking over to see her. It was always strange, seeing him out of his armor; he really should do that more often. She bounded up to him, while he looked like he was on the verge of sighing. Regardless of his attitude, it was a beautiful day. The sun shone high above them in the clear blue sky. Birds could be heard singing their sweet melodies. It was as if the Final Days never happened. 

“Rena,” he greeted, as she came to a stop in front of him. “Let me guess—here to visit our newest friend?”

She nodded, putting her hands on her hips. “Aye, but what about you? Did Vrtra need something?”

“In a manner of speaking,” he said, giving a slight shrug. “He asked me to seek you out, in fact.”

Rena frowned. “Is something the matter?”

“It would seem so,” Estinien replied, crossing his arms over his chest. “There have been strange happenings at Palaka’s Stand.”

She narrowed her eyes. “Blasphemies?” 

He shook his head. “No. There have been reports of, interestingly enough, a strange woman being sighted around the Stand. Whenever she appears, odd things happen. There are also reports of sightings of voidsent.” 

Her eyes widened. “Seriously? I wonder if another voidgate has popped up somewhere.”

“Vrtra requested that I look into it, and that I bring Zero along,” Estinien informed her, “as well as you, as she’s most likely to cooperate if you’re present.”

“Well, that is true,” she mused, tapping her chin. “Regardless, I’d be willing to help. Dealing with voidsent is my specialty now, after all.”

The scythe strapped to her back made that most evident. But Estinien rolled his eyes.

“Yes, we know,” he said dryly. “So shall I leave asking Zero to you?”

“You got it!’ She grinned. “Are we leaving today? I’ll have to pack.. Oh, what should I bring? I know this is work, but… maybe we could take the villagers swimming! That would uplift their spirits, right? I’ll have to bring a swimsuit. Wait—Zero will need one too! Gods, we have to go shopping. And I’ll need to take her measurements-”

Estinien just stared at her with a tired expression as she rambled on. After knowing the woman for four years now, he was used to her antics. Unfortunately.

“Well, I’ll go talk to Zero now,” Rena said, not realizing he had toned her out. “We are leaving today, yes?”

“Aye,” Estinien said, turning to continue on his way. “And don’t take too long. I’ll meet you at the aetheryte in half an hour. And if you’re not there… I’ll leave without you.”

…Estinien knew her all too well. A sheepish smile crossed her lips as she watched him walk off. Fine, she supposed she could behave—especially if lives were at stake. And it did seem like there were. Not wasting another moment, Rena headed inside the Meghaduta, making her way to the quarters that Vrtra had arranged for the former Scions’ use. 

Once she got there, she knocked on the door, before cracking it open and peaking inside. “Zero? You home?”

Silence—which was no guarantee that the woman in question was gone or not, either. Rena opened the door all the way and stepped inside. Unsurprisingly, she found the voidsent sitting at the dining table, munching on an apple from a bowl of fresh fruit that must have arrived today. Rena couldn’t help but smile to herself, shaking her head as she shut the door and then walked on over and put her hands on her hips.

“You know, you really should say hello when I call to you,” she said dryly. 

Zero finished chewing and swallowed, looking up at her indifferently. “I’m replenishing my aether. And Y’shtola informed me that speaking when your mouth is full is not polite.”

Rena laughed. “Oh, so now you care about being polite? You didn’t the other night. As I recall, your mouth was quite full and you still insisted on talking to me…”

Zero looked nonplussed. “That doesn’t count. I wasn’t eating you.” She paused to take another bite of apple. “Not yet, anyway.” 

“Ha!” She laughed again, shaking her head. “Someone’s in a good mood today.”

“Of course I am,” Zero said, her gaze not moving away from the apple. “You’re here.”

…Gods. Any other teasing words that might have been on the tip of her tongue faded away. Her smile softened as she folded her arms over her chest. Rena still had no idea what manner of relationship they had—not since that fateful day. But ever since then, Zero had regarded her with a semblance of fondness. Emotions still did not come easy to the woman, but she showed how she felt in her own—if not a little odd—way. And Rena would not deny that she cherished every moment they spent together.

“I have work for us,” Rena said, deciding to move onto the topic at hand after a lengthy pause. “That is, if you’d like to come along.”

Zero looked up at her. “As long as I am duly compensated.” 

“I can think of a few ways to compensate you,” Rena said wryly. “But what would you like in return?” 

Zero met her gaze. “You.”

…Well. Rena felt her entire body flush at that. Such a blunt, straightforward answer, without a hint of doubt towards what the voidsent meant. After their first time together a few weeks ago, Zero’s curiosity was insatiable. Of course, Rena welcomed whatever Zero wanted to do with her, whether it was platonic or sexual in nature. Her own personal feelings, though… Her little crush—the crush she’d been trying to ignore—had developed into something more.

But whether or not Zero returned such feelings had yet to be seen.

“I think that can be arranged,” Rena said, smiling playfully. “But for now, you should gather your things. We need to do some shopping before joining Estinien. He’ll be coming with us.”

Zero’s gaze flickered back down to her apple. “Let me finish this first.”

She nodded. “Of course! Just don’t take too long, or Estinien will leave without us.”


About half an hour later, as agreed, the two reapers arrived at the aetheryte. Just like he said, Estinien was there waiting for them, now dressed in his armor with his lance strapped to his back, arms crossed over his chest. He looked stoic as ever, watching over the square. 

“Estinien!” Rena called to him, giving another wave.

He looked up. “Ah, there you are. I was beginning to think I’d be leaving without you after all.”

“Oh, hush,” Rena huffed as they joined him. “I’m on my best behavior! I always am when people are in danger.”

“...Right,” Estinien deadpanned. “And you were during the Dragonsong War as well.”

“Hey!” Rena protested, putting her hands on her hips. “Those were different times, Esti, and you know it. I am not the same person I was back then.”

“...Don’t upset her,” Zero said flatly, before Estinien could even think of a response.

He let out an exasperated sigh. “Just try not to get distracted, will you?”

“I promise,” Rena said, shaking her head at him. “You don’t have to worry. Seriously.”

She knew, of course, that this was only out of concern for her. Her days in Ishgard were not her proudest moments. She never spoke of it to anyone, but Estinien knew better than most. Alphinaud had been completely oblivious—thank the gods. Back then, she’d thrown herself at anyone who would give her the time of day. Now she didn’t judge people who slept around. But she’d been promiscuous to the point of it becoming unhealthy. She did anything to forget the pain—to forget the loss. She didn’t want to acknowledge that her friends had sacrificed themselves to ensure her survival. And so she did whatever she could to find happiness, no matter how fleeting. But it never actually helped. It had only hurt her more. 

Not many knew that the Warrior of Light all but whored herself away. 

Those days were over, though. Again, not that she judged. But ever since journeying to the First, she finally didn’t feel the need to lose herself in hedonistic pleasures. Perhaps Vauthry and Eulmore had helped with that… 

“As you say,” Estinien muttered, relenting. “Moving onto the task at hand—I’ll travel to Palaka’s Stand by aetheryte. As Zero has never been there before, I trust you can escort her there?”

Renalei nodded. “Aye, that’s no problem.”

“Good,” he said. “I’ll see you there. In the meantime, I’ll begin asking around.”

Without so much as a goodbye, Estinien teleported away, leaving the two of them at the aetheryte. Renalei fought the urge to groan. Gods, that man never changed. But you know what? She wouldn’t ask him to. 

Rena turned to face her companion. “You haven’t ridden a chocobo before, have you?”

Zero looked at her blankly. “No.”

She grinned. “Well, today's your lucky day! Pitch should be able to carry both of us. He’s waiting outside the city. Let’s go!” 

Before Zero could say a word, Rena grabbed her by the hand and dragged her off.


The heat always peaked at noon. And that was why Rena decided to stop at a stream to water Pitch and cool off a bit. Like usual, Zero seemed unaffected by the heat, even in her dark armor. The voidsent woman leaned against a tree, arms crossed over her chest, as Rena waded into the water. Pitch, her Dalmascan red chocobo, busied himself with drinking from the stream.

She bent over, splashing water onto her face. “Gods, and I thought it got hot in Ala Mhigo…”

Rena walked over to Pitch, keeping her feet in the water, splashing along. She retrieved her waterskin from his saddlebag and gulped down some water. Looking down at what she was wearing, she decided it was probably best to take off her leather vest before she boiled in her own clothes. She shrugged it off, leaving herself in the crop top underneath. Once she carefully folded up the vest and tucked it away in the saddlebag, she gave Pitch a pat and walked back further into the stream.

She looked down at the clear, running water and sighed. “If only I could just strip and dunk myself.”

“...Go ahead.”

Zero’s voice caught her attention. She looked over at the woman, who hadn’t budged an inch. As ever, her face was void of expression.

“Really?”

“I’ll kill anyone who comes too close.”

Rena let out an exasperated sigh. “That’s not as comforting as you think it is… Please don’t kill anyone.”

“...Fine.”

Rena smiled sheepishly at her and shook her head. She then started taking off her clothes. She folded her clothing up neatly and set them in a pile on the dry grass. She gave a stretch, arching her back with a content sigh, before plopping herself back down into the cool water.

“Much better…” she sighed happily, sinking as low as she could while still sitting. “Say, Zero… have you ever been swimming?”

“No,” she answered. “Not that I recall.”

Rena looked over to where she remained leaning against the tree. “Why don’t you join me, then?” 

Zero’s gaze shifted over to her. “If I do… I expect my payment, in full.” 

Rena felt her body flush with a different kind of heat. “Then come and get it.”

Something flickered in the voidsent’s eyes, but she was so far away that Rena couldn’t tell what. Zero pushed herself away from the tree. She paused for a second and then proceeded to strip down, taking off her armor. A few moments later, Zero joined her in the stream. As soon as she sat down in the water, Rena pounced, throwing her arms around her neck and pressing herself against the taller woman as she settled down on her lap.

“Zero,” she crooned, leaning up to boop her nose against hers. “I lo-

She cut herself off, realizing what she’d been about to say.

Dammit.

Her ears drooped as she slowly sunk back down so she was sitting. It always happened like this, didn’t it? She’d meet someone who intrigued her. They’d spend time together. She’d get attached. And then they’d leave her, because being with the Warrior of Light was too much. Their love was never worth fighting for. She wasn’t worth fighting for.

“...Rena?”

Zero’s voice—her calm, soothing voice—yanked her back into reality. She realized her grip on the woman’s shoulders had tightened, her fingers digging into her pale skin. She’d gone completely rigid, as the realization that she once again had fallen in love settled in her mind. She'd known she'd had a crush, but she hadn't expected it to go this far. She loosened her grip, letting her arms drop down to her sides, splashing into the water.

“Did I do something to upset you?”

She looked up at Zero, eyes wide. “No, I—I just… It’s me, not you.” She shook her head. “I just… realized something important, is all.”

Zero tilted her head. “And that would be…?”

Rena glanced down at the water. “...I’ll tell you later.”

Liar.

Zero searched her face; she would not be so easily fooled. She lifted her hand to brush against Rena’s cheek, then ran her fingers through her hair, pushing her bangs away from her face. Rena felt her bottom lip quiver. Zero did not understand mankind very well, but she still knew when exactly to be gentle. Or at least, she did when it came to her

“Are you sure?” Zero asked.

No good would come of this. It never did. But what could she do about it? She’d long accepted that her happy ending simply would not include romantic love. No matter how hard she wished, no matter how much she prayed… it simply would not be so. It didn’t matter how hard she willed it. This was not the battlefield. Dynamis would avail her naught. 

But at the same time, she did not want to lie. Yet when she opened her mouth, the words died on her lips.

Rena shook her head, pulling back until she was completely off of Zero’s lap, splashing in the water.

“I—I can’t do this. I can’t pay you in this way.”

Zero blinked, even as Rena turned away and climbed out of the stream. She watched as the miqo’te walked over to her chocobo and fetched a towel from one of the saddlebags. Confusion flickered in her silver eyes—not that Renalei would see it.

“I’ll just… give you some aether, okay? Once we’ve met with Estinien and learned what’s going on.”

Zero looked down. “Very well.” 

This was going to be a long day.


Palaka’s Stand looked no worse for wear. Familiar faces walked about, doing their daily business. Renalei received a few smiles and waves, which she was more than happy to return. Zero trailed after her, silent. They found Estinien speaking with one of the Radiant Host. Rena took the moment to check over Pitch while they waited for him to finish.  

A few minutes later, he rejoined them. “There you are. Perfect timing.”

Rena gave Pitch one last pat, before turning around to face her friend. “So what’s going on?”

Estinien crossed his arms over his chest, looking from the miqo’te to their voidsent friend and then back to the miqo’te. “This is mere speculation. But from what you’ve told me about Orcus, this mysterious woman that’s been seen around the Stand might be a voidsent possessing a corpse.” 

Recognition flickered in Zero’s eyes. “Orcus?” She looked over at Rena. “You know him?”

Rena grimaced. “Unfortunately. But I also helped kill him. He was after my soul, and I helped my mentor enact revenge for murdering her family. He won’t be bothering anyone anymore.” She returned her attention to Estinien. “If that is true, that’s a huge concern.” 

“That’s not all,” Estinien continued. “There have been sightings of voidsent. Minor ones, mind you, but for normal villagers, that’s extremely dangerous. The most disturbing piece of information I have uncovered, however, is that the mysterious woman greatly resembles someone who died during the Final Days.”

Rena’s eyes widened. “Did they tell you anything about this person?”

“Aye,” he said with a nod. “Her name was Amala. Everyone has said she was the most beautiful woman in the Stand, and well loved by all. She was a hard worker and did much for the village. She was killed by a blasphemy, while her lover, Chanda, barely escaped with her life.”

“Oh, gods…” Rena’s gaze fell to the ground. “Another we couldn’t save…” 

“I was about to go speak with Chanda,” Estinien informed them. “But perhaps you would be better suited for the task.” 

Rena sighed. “All right, I suppose.” She did, after all, know how this partner felt…

Her heart gave a painful clench. 

“Well, let’s get this over with,” she said, before glancing at Zero. “You can come with us, or explore if you want to. Up to you.”

Zero tugged down the brim of her hat, hiding her face. “I’ll stay.”

She looked away. “All right…”

Estinien narrowed his eyes. 

Rena turned to face him. “Lead the way, Esti.” 

He gave a nod. The two women followed him across the square, past the aetheryte. Estinien seemed to know where they needed to go. They walked around to the side of a house, only to come to a stop. Someone else was already speaking with a woman who must have been Chanda. Her back was turned to them, giving a clear view of a vicious, intricately engraved white and gold scythe.

A reaper. 

The sound of their footsteps must have caught the two women’s attention. The reaper turned, looking behind her. She was tall—taller than Zero, even. She had long, elegantly wavy silver-gold locks that were tied off in a low ponytail, her bangs swept to the side, leaving her third eye quite visible. Her eyes were amber, but there was a certain coldness to them, where there should have been warmth within such a color. She was dressed rather sophisticatedly, with a typical Garlean militaristic air, in white and gold, a red cloak draped over her shoulders. She was beautiful, aye, but there was something about her that left Rena feeling unsettled

“Well, I’ll be,” the Garlean woman said, putting a hand on her hip as she fully turned around to face them. “I did not expect to meet fellow reapers here, much less foreign ones.”

Rena stiffened. “Nor did I expect to find a Garlean here, in Thavnair.”

“Now now, there’s no need to be hostile.” The stranger gave a chuckle and a warm smile. “I know the Warrior of Light when I see her.” Her gaze flickered over to Estinien. “And you must be the Azure Dragoon, yes?”

“That would be correct,” Estinien answered curtly. 

The stranger’s gaze then landed on Zero, who watched her with indifference. “I don’t believe I am familiar with your companion, however.” 

Zero looked unfettered. “I’ll give my name if you give yours.”

The stranger laughed. “Fair enough. Septima Aurelius, at your service.” She gave a sweeping bow.

“...Zero,” the voidsent replied, after a moment. 

Septima raised an eyebrow. “What an unusual name, though I imagine Garlean names are just as strange to Eorzeans.” Her gaze returned to the Warrior of Light. “In case you’re concerned, I’m here to investigate rumors about voidsent in the area. As reapers no longer have a purpose back in Garlemald, I’ve taken to dealing with any voidsent problems.” 

Zero went still at that. Rena forced herself not to look over at her.

“What a coincidence,” she said instead, “because that’s why we’re here too.”

“Oh?” Septima smiled. “Well, I would be honored to work with the Warrior of Light—and perhaps more importantly, such a beautiful woman, besides.”

…For fuck’s sake.

Maybe under different circumstances, Rena would have flirted back—not seriously, of course—but today? It simply left her annoyed. Her ears flicked back, her tail twitching, and she opened her mouth to speak. 

“...No.”

Zero’s voice cut through the silence. Everyone looked at her in surprise. Well, everyone but Estinien.

“We don’t need your help,” Zero continued, her voice like steel. “We will do fine on our own.”

Septima narrowed her eyes. And for a moment, the voidsent and reaper locked gazes. Oh, gods. Zero had never shown so much emotion before. But the irritation was evident, practically roiling off of her in waves. If she wasn’t careful, she might start giving off those black and teal flames. Which would be incredibly hot—but that was besides the point. Rena couldn’t help but stare at her with wide eyes, caught completely off guard.

It was about her. Of course it was. Who else would Zero get defensive over?

“...As enlightening as this has been,” Estinien said, interrupting the standoff between the two tall scythe-wielding women, “we’re here to speak with Chanda.”

The woman who had been standing behind Septima the entire time, watching the exchange as it got out of hand, cleared her throat. 

“...My apologies,” Septima said, finally pulling her gaze away from Zero. “I did not intend to interrupt your work. Please, don’t mind me.” She gave another bow, and then smiled at Rena. “Though, if you’re looking for some drinks and a good time, Renalei—I’ll be around.” 

Before Rena could even process what she said, Septima gave a wave, a short bow to Chanda, and then walked away, leaving them. 

Estinien let out a sigh, looking over at Rena, and then at Zero. Zero, who stood there very stiffly, her hands clenched into fists, looking like she was on the verge of self-combusting. The animosity rolled off of her in waves. He turned over to Chanda.

“We’ll have to come back later,” he told her. “These two…” He glanced back at his friends. “They need to take a breather. They’ve had a long day.”

“I’m fine-” Rena began to protest, only for Estinien to shoot her a look.

“That’s quite all right,” Chanda said to them. “I assume this is about what Septima asked me about…”

“Aye,” he answered. “Most like. We’ll stop by tomorrow.” He turned and shot a glare at the miqo’te. “Let's go.” 

She decided not to protest this time. They’d already embarrassed themselves in front of Chanda… So Rena simply nodded and followed after him once he headed off, leaving Zero to follow suit. Gods… what had gotten into her?


“This is the house we’ve been lent while we’re staying here, solving the case,” Estinien explained, as they stepped inside. “There are only two bedrooms, however.”

“That’s fine,” Rena said. “I’ll just stay with you.”

Estinien gave her a flat look. Oh, he knew something was up. “And have you claw me in my sleep? Hells no.”

“Hey, my nails are not long!” Rena huffed. “They are neatly painted and trimmed. See?” To prove her point, she showed him her hands. 

Estinien let out a sigh. “And I’d rather not think about why.”

He looked over at Zero, who was hiding under the brim of her hat again. She was no longer radiating anger. But she hadn’t spoken a word since Septima left. That wasn’t exactly unusual, but… seeing her friend like this only made her heart ache. She knew it had everything to do with what occurred earlier, but...

“Zero,” Estinien said, though she did not react to her name. “Rena and I need to have a talk. We’ll be back.”

Rena’s eyes widened. “We do?”

“Yes. We do.” 

Oh, fuck.

“All right,” Zero muttered, not budging an inch.

Estinien nodded towards the door to the right. Fighting the urge to sigh, Rena followed him into the next room. He shut the door behind them and turned back around to face her, crossing his arms over his chest.

“What in the seven hells was that?”

Rena lowered her gaze. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t shit with me, Renalei. You do.” 

Rena bit her bottom lip, folding her arms. “I don’t know why Zero got like that.”

“Seriously?” He closed his eyes and shook his head. “Rena, everyone knows Zero is in love with you but you.”

Her head jerked up, eyes widening. “Don’t fuck with me, Estinien.”

He let out an exasperated sigh. “You know I’d never lie to you. You saw how she reacted to Aurelius hitting on you. That’s the most emotion she’s ever shown. I don’t know why Aurelius felt compelled to provoke her like that, but it worked.”

She looked away, biting her bottom lip. There was no hiding it from Estinien. When he cared, he was painfully observant. And if there was anyone who understood the pain that she had endured… it was him—the rage, the grief. They both knew it all too well.

“...Have you heard of the saying, ‘the sun loved the moon so much, she died every night to let her breathe’?” Renalei’s voice was quiet. “That’s how I feel about Zero.”

Estinien remained silent, which meant he wished for her to continue.

“But it doesn’t matter.” She shook her head. “It always ends the same—with me alone. Back in the day, when I first joined the Scions, I had a crush on Minfilia. I was utterly smitten with her and was trying to work up the courage to tell her how I felt, the night of the bloody banquet. The night my entire life was turned upside down and I lost the Scions again. And Hydaelyn took her away from me. That was my first heartbreak.”

Even after all this time, recalling it all made her heart ache dully. In the end, she’d never gotten to tell Minfilia how she felt. But it was for the best. The First had needed her. Ryne had needed her. She did not begrudge the girl her choice. She was proud of Ryne for choosing herself—for chosing to live

“And then I met Ysayle—at first, as an enemy, and then as an ally. As we became friends, I fell for her. I felt the hole in my heart begin to mend.” Renalei closed her eyes. “But I was afraid. I was so afraid of ruining everything between us, I kept it to myself. I only found the courage to speak up at the end. I decided that once Thordan was defeated, I’d confess to her. I’d tell her I loved her. And, well… you know what happened. You were there.”

Estinien remained quiet for a moment. “...Aye. I knew you loved her. You’re really terrible at hiding your emotions, you know.”

Rena let out a laugh, albeit a bitter one. “Tell me about it… I tried to rebound with Hilda, too. And I did genuinely like her. But it didn’t work out. Even if it wasn’t a rebound, she had to stay in Ishgard, and I had to return home, to the Rising Stones.”

That loss had been easier to accept, at least. It still hurt, of course, but at least Hilda was still alive. And they remained good friends after all these years.

“And then there was Lyse… When she was going by Yda, we’d been close. I’d started my journey in Gridania, after all. But she’d always held herself at a certain distance from me when she was Yda. When she revealed her true identity, that changed. As we traveled together, we grew even closer, and I found myself falling for her.” Rena sighed. “We did get together… for a time. I managed to find happiness in that hell. But once the dust had settled and the war was won, our homeland freed… Lyse had to make a choice. And she chose Ala Mhigo.”

Rena did not hate her for it. She couldn’t even be angry. Ala Mhigo wanted for leadership. The days of monarchy were long past. Lyse had known her family’s greatest secret—that her mother was the bastard half-sister of the Mad King, making Renalei royalty. And even if the people wanted another queen, her mother nor she longed for the throne. Rena had not been in the mental state for much of anything that year. She had not been much better than Zenos, if she was perfectly honest. 

They had been two peas in a pod—her and Zenos. He’d always been right. She had simply never wanted to admit it. But she had, at the very end, at the far reaches of the universe.

“I’ve been alone ever since,” Rena said quietly. “My work in the First did not afford me much time to myself, which I am grateful for. And it wasn’t much better when I returned to the Source. I’ve had no time for romance. I was content with my lot, happy to simply have a family of friends who love me.”

There was more to it than that—a story she would never be able to tell anyone. When she’d journeyed to the past, to the days of the Ancients… when she’d ventured to Elpis, seeking answers to the truth of the Final Days… she’d learned a painful truth. A truth that had nothing to do with the Final Days. 

Her Ancient self, Azem… had been lovers with Venat, who became Hydaelyn. Those days she spent in Elpis, with Emet-Selch and Hythlodaeus and… Venat… Emet and Hythlodaeus had seen the color of her soul and thought her a familiar of Azem, but somehow, Venat had seen bits of Azem in her, as they worked together to solve the mystery of the Final Days. And for her? The unexplained feelings she felt whenever she heard Hydaelyn’s voice came to the forefront, faced as she was with the primal’s original self. Those feelings had remained through the Sundering. And she couldn’t ignore them anymore.

Hearing Venat speak of Azem—of Artemis, who she loved so much—had been like a dagger in her heart. Because they would never be able to be together. Venat sacrificed everything to give humanity a chance—including her own love. And in the end, she had to prove herself to Hydaelyn through combat.

That had broken her heart, for the last time. She felt broken beyond repair, shattered into pieces too small to put back together. And yet, she still had to march on—for her friends, her found family, for the sake of the star, and for Hydaelyn—for Venat herself, so her sacrifice was not in vain. She walked to the end and faced despair.

How she hadn’t broken, how she hadn’t turned into a blasphemy herself, she still had no idea.

Rena closed her eyes. “...But then we went into the void to find Vrtra’s sister… and I met Zero.”

Whether it was providence or coincidence, how they had met Zero in the first place had stuck out to her. By pure chance, the crystal from Hydaelyn had resonated with her corrupted form, cleansing the voidsent of the excess of excess Darkness. Was it one final gift from Hydaelyn—from Venat? Was Venat, somehow, trying to tell her—to help the one she loved—to find happiness? It felt like wishful thinking, a childish notion. Especially when considering Zero. 

Zero… one of the most despondent, fatalistic, selfish, callous people she’d ever met. But there was still a kindness in her, in her most subtlest actions. There was a longing for hope, for happiness, for a future. Beneath all that melancholy, Zero still had a heart, no matter how much she tried to pretend she didn’t care. Whether it was a gift from the Echo or not, Renalei had seen beneath her mask. And she’d fallen hopelessly in love.

“I love her. But what does it matter?” Rena shook her head. “She’ll leave me. Like everyone else.”

Estinien narrowed his eyes. “Just listen to yourself, Rena.”

Her gaze flickered to the floor, downcast. “I don’t see how any of this will be any different.”

“Maybe it will. Maybe it won’t. But you won’t know unless you bloody try.” Estinien shook his head. “I’m not an expert on love. But I know this—after everything you’ve been through, you deserve to be happy.”

“Do I, though?” she mused. “I’ve done terrible things.”

“Then you and Zero are perfect for each other. I highly doubt her ledger is clean, living in the void and all.” Estinien gave a slight shrug. “None of us are free of guilt. Not after fighting war after war.”

She supposed that was true…

“Stop being stupid and just talk to her.”

Rena flinched, looking up at him with wide eyes. “Estinien…?”

He scowled. “I’m not just going to stand here and watch you be a bloody idiot. Talk with her. Figure it out. Because what you’re doing right now is only going to hurt you both more in the long run.”

…He was right. 

She was doing it again, wasn’t she? After everything she’d learned, after all she had overcome, she’d just gone back to running away from her feelings again. It was shameful, really. She squeezed her eyes shut, taking a deep breath and letting it out with a shudder. She was a grown ass woman. She could do this. 

“...All right,” Renalei relented. “I’ll talk to her.”

Estinien closed his eyes, a faint smile tugging at his lips. “Good. And make sure she doesn’t immediately kill Aurelius on sight, will you?”

Rena felt her cheeks burn. “I don’t know if I can guarantee that…”

Estinien rolled his eyes. “All you have to do is ask nicely and flash your tits and I’m sure she’ll agree to whatever request you make.”

Oh, her face was on fire now. “Shut up! ” She gave him a very pointless shove, as he didn’t even budge an ilm. “Ugh, I hate you sometimes!”

“Love you too, Rena.”


When she and Estinien left the room together, they found Zero leaning against the wall, waiting for them. Her arms were crossed, her chin dipped, the brim of her hat obscuring her face. Rena felt her heart give a painful squeeze. This was all her fault… If she'd just been open and honest with her from the beginning, perhaps none of this would have happened. 

…Or perhaps Zero would have been even more hostile towards Septima. It was hard to tell.

Rena looked over at Estinien. He gave her a reassuring nod.

“I’ll leave you to it,” he said, stepping towards the door. “If you need anything, I’m just a linkpearl call away.”

She gave a nod. And then Estinien headed out the door, leaving her alone with a very unhappy voidsent. Once the door shut behind him, Rena slowly turned to face Zero, who still hadn’t moved an ilm. She fought the urge to sigh. She could do this. For both their sakes. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, before finally walking over to her.

“Are you okay?” she decided to ask first. 

“...No.”

Oh.

Rena bit her bottom lip, her mismatched gaze flickering to the uneven wooden floor. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Zero didn’t so much as look her way. “I don’t like that woman.”

“I could tell that much,” she muttered.

“Are you going to take her up on her offer? For drinks and… a good time?”

Rena looked back up at her, eyes wide. “What? No way. I’m not interested in her that way.” She shook her head. “It’s not the first time a stranger has propositioned me, nor will it be the last. Once upon a time, yes, I would have done it in a heartbeat. But I don’t want to live like that anymore. It’s not good for my heart.”

“...I see.” Zero still did not look at her. “I don’t care, either way.”

Something inside Rena cracked. She felt a spike of heat, followed by the rush of anger. Her ears flicked back, her hands clenched into fists.

“You fucking liar,” she snapped. “Don’t you dare, Zero. Don’t you dare.”

It was Zero’s turn to look up with wide eyes, completely taken aback by the miqo’te’s outburst.

“You can’t just act like that and then go say you don’t fucking care.” She glowered at the other woman, ears pinned to her skull. “If that’s how it’s going to be, then fine. I’ll just give you aether in the same boring way Y’shtola did. I can’t… I can’t do this anymore.”

She’d tried. She’d done what Estinien asked. But if Zero was going to push her away, then so be it. She’d had enough heartbreak in her life. She couldn’t deal with more. She supposed it was what she deserved, falling for a voidsent. Rena turned to leave. 

“Wait.”

There was a hit of panic in Zero’s voice, as Rena felt cool fingers wrap around her wrist, stopping her in her tracks.

“Don’t go. Please.” 

Rena squeezed her eyes shut. Her heart ached in her chest, tight with the burning anger. Her bottom lip quivered, tears pricking at the back of her eyes. Why did this always have to be so hard? Why did feelings have to hurt so damn much? Why couldn’t it be simple, for once in her life? But the Warrior of Light’s life was far from simple.

“Don’t you see?” Rena asked quietly, a tremble in her voice. “I love you.”

Silence.

Rena dared to look behind her. Zero’s eyes had widened further, her mouth slightly ajar. The surprise, the utter  disbelief, was apparent in her silver eyes. For a moment, her fingers tightened around Rena’s wrist, before she let go. Zero took a step back, closing her eyes.

“...Is that what this feeling is? It… chafes.”

Rena opened her mouth, but no words came out. She couldn’t find any.

“I have never experienced this before,” Zero said, her voice soft, barely above a whisper. “From what I can recall. Ever since we met, you’ve made me feel… strange. At first, I thought it was because Zenos placed such importance on your existence, and he was all I knew for some time, in my distorted state. But as time passed, it became clear to me that that was not the case.” She reached up to pull down the brim of her hat. “I cannot help but feel…” She paused, her voice trailing off. “...warm. Content. I consider more than survival. And I… don’t want anyone else to have you… to touch you… to take you.” 

Rena felt her rancid hot anger fade, replaced by a gentler warmth in her heart that only made her ache.

“I want you all to myself.” Zero looked up, her silver gaze meeting Rena’s mismatched one. “Is that what love is?”

Rena couldn’t help but give a soft smile. “Aye, it’s part of it…”

Zero’s gaze flickered down. “You… are right. I care. I care about you. More than a voidsent should be capable of. And yet, I… don’t regret it.”

Rena took a step forward. And then another, closing the distance between them. That tender smile never left her lips, as she reached out to take Zero’s hand into hers, giving her a squeeze.

“It’s okay, Zero,” she said softly. “We’ll figure it out together.”

Zero’s gaze flickered to their hands, as she intertwined their fingers, gripping her tightly. 

“...You promise?”

Rena nodded. “I promise. And I never break my promises.”

Zero remained quiet for a moment. Then she lifted up Rena’s hand and pressed her lips to the back of it. The miqo’te felt a shiver run down her spine.

“Then you’re mine,” Zero said, with finality. “And I’m yours.” 

Gods… Her breath caught in her throat, hearing those words. Rena looked at their joined hands, at how Zero’s long, dextrous fingers linked with hers. She knew what she wanted, at that exact moment. She took her girlfriend’s hand and slipped it under her skirt, pressing her cool palm against her panties.

Zero’s breath hitched. “Rena…”

She smiled up at her innocently. “Yes?”

Zero pulled her hand free, only to press her palm harder against her clothed entrance. She leaned down, a low growl escaping her lips. More chills ran down Rena’s spine, followed by a rush of heat and a shudder. Oh, she ached now. 

“You’re mine.” 

Zero relinquished her hand, much to the miqo’te’s disappointment. But then she grabbed Rena’s wrist again and tugged her through the doorway to their right. The door slammed shut behind them and the next thing Rena knew, she’d been pushed against the wall. Zero towered over her, pinning her in place. That only made more heat rush through her body, her core beginning to throb. Zero released her, taking a moment to remove her hat, tossing onto the nightstand next to the bed, and take off her gauntlets. The armor clattered to the floor. Then her hands were on her hips, striking cold against her skin that was so feverish with need. A shudder wracked her frame, even as Zero’s lips met her neck.

“Mine…” she growled again, her breath cool against her skin. “And no one else’s… Do you understand?”

Rena gulped, a whimper escaping her lips. Gods, Zero was so hot when she got like this. She could feel herself getting wet already. But she nodded, reaching up and pressing her hands against her lover’s shoulders.

“I don’t want to be with anyone else,” she murmured. “Or to belong to anyone else…”

“Good.” Zero pressed another kiss to her neck.

“You… You should say, ‘good girl’.”

Zero pulled back slightly. “...Good girl.”

Another shiver tingled down her spine and she mewled softly. Zero nuzzled into her neck, before pressing another kiss. She nipped lightly at her neck and then sunk her teeth into her soft skin. Rena couldn’t help but moan, shuddering as her fingers grasped at Zero’s cloak. Zero made a pleased sound, though it was muffled as she trailed more kisses along her neck, before biting down on her again. 

“Zero,” she whispered, as she felt her lover’s hands begin to unzip her leather vest. “Are you going to take me to bed?”

“Aye,” she said, teeth grazing over that delicate skin before nibbling on her again. “But only once I’m done fucking you against the wall.”

Gods. Her inner walls gave an agonizing clench. Her vest came off then, falling to the floor at her feet, leaving her in the crop top underneath. Zero’s hands ran down her sides, as she continued to nip and nibble at the miqo’te’s neck, leaving behind dark red bite marks on her dusky skin. Her neck would be so marked up by the time they finished that it would be extremely unseemly to not cover it up—not that she cared at the moment.

Zero pulled back, which only made Rena whine in displeasure. Unfortunately for her, the voidsent ignored the sound, instead focusing on pulling off her top. As that crop top had served as a bra as well, her breasts were now free. She shivered, feeling one of her lover’s hands slide down to cup her breast, running her thumb over her hardened nipple. Rena shuddered.

But then Zero’s hands dropped further, down to the waistband of her skirt. She pulled the skirt down, down, down—until it dropped to the floor. Rena stepped out of it so she wouldn’t trip over it later. Then Zero yanked down her panties, which were already sopping wet. As soon as she felt the afternoon air on her sex, she found herself aching more—with longing

“Zero…” she whimpered, even as she felt those cool, calloused fingers press against her outer folds. “I need you.”

The voidsent let out a quiet hum, running her fingers over the miqo’te’s sex, slowly and deliberately. “I need you too.” 

With how wet Rena was, it would be easy for Zero to press a finger inside her. And that was exactly what she did. Rena moaned, shivering as she felt her lover push in her finger as far as it could reach, flexing and curling the digit. Zero’s lips found hers, muffling any more sounds she'd make. More of her juices dripped out, spilling onto her lover’s hand. Zero ran her tongue along Rena's lips as she pressed another finger between her folds. Rena's small frame heaved, her breaths coming in short and quick. Zero’s free hand dropped down to her clit, to tend to the bundle of nerves. Rena gripped her cloak so tight her knuckles turned white.

The room was filled with Rena's sweet music, as she gasped and squeaked and mewled in time with the thrusts of Zero’s fingers. At first, Zero traced lazy circles around her clit, but began to tease the nub faster as time went on. Rena panted, shaking, her back pressed against the wall as she struggled to stay upright. She was utterly at her lover’s mercy but she would have it no other way. Zero continued to kiss her, trailing kisses along her jaw, teeth grazing against her skin. 

Oh, she was close.  So close.

"Zero," she moaned. "Zero, I'm-"

Zero pulled back slightly. "Then cum for me."

Fuck.

Hearing that alone was enough to make her shatter. She screamed Zero’s name, a violent shudder wracking her body. She swore she saw stars, as her inner walls spasmed around her lover’s fingers. Even as she rode that high, her lover did not relent. She thrusted her fingers faster, harder, and within moments another cry filled the room as Rena climaxed again. Even in her daze, she felt her knees begin to buckle and she started to slide down the wall.

Almost abruptly, Zero pulled out her fingers. As dizzy as she was from the high, Rena noticed the woman lick her fingers clean—which only served to make her ache more. And then, without warning, Zero threw her up over her shoulder with one arm. The next thing she knew, she'd been tossed onto the bed and Zero began to remove the rest of her armor.

Rena took the moment to pull herself back together, even as her body screamed at her for more. She slid herself backwards to the pillows. Not sure how exactly her lover would wish to do this, she propped herself up on the pillows… and splayed open her thighs so Zero would get a full view of what was waiting for her.

With her armor now in a pile on the floor, Zero joined her. Rena's core throbbed in agony; she could feel herself getting wetter just at the sight of her beautiful lover. It was obvious that Zero had gotten impatient, as she immediately positioned herself over the miqo’te, her fingers wrapping around Rena's knee as she lifted her leg up onto her shoulder.

"Mine," she growled, thrusting into the smaller woman with enough force to rock the bed and fill her up completely to the hilt.

Rena gasped, stars dancing in her vision. "Yours…"

“Good girl,” Zero murmured, clearly having taken to the request she’d made before.

The voidsent kissed her roughly, her lips cool against her feverish need. Rena whimpered against her, parting her lips as her hands found purchase in Zero’s smooth locks. It still amazed her how soft her hair was. Zero pushed her tongue into her mouth, even as her hips coiled back to pound into her dripping, needy sex. The sound Rena made was muffled, as she tugged on her girlfriend’s hair. 

Zero set a relentless pace, but Rena would not have it any other way. All she cared about in that moment was how the woman she loved—and loved her back—felt inside of her. Zero kept one hand on her thigh to keep her steady as she pounded into her without mercy, driving her member hard and deep. Her lips wandered down the miqo’te’s jaw, down her ravaged neck, to her collarbone, and finally, her breasts.

Rena mewled, squeezing her eyes shut and pressing herself harder against the other woman. Her tail reached up and wrapped around Zero’s waist. Her lover kept that pace, the bed creaking underneath them from the sheer force of her thrusts. Zero trailed kisses down the side of her breast, letting her teeth graze alongside the plumpness. When she reached the nipple, she wrapped her lips around the nub and gave a hard suck. Rena moaned, shuddering.

Zero had two preferred methods of drawing aether out of Renalei. The first they discovered was through eating her out… the second involved her breasts. There was something strangely intimate about giving your aether to someone—which was why Zero taking aether from Y’shtola while they were in the Thirteenth had bothered her, though she hadn’t understood why at the time. Zero closed her eyes, focusing. Her thrusts slowed to an agonizing crawl, as she purposefully pushed herself as deep as she could go. Gods, Rena was so full, her walls stretching to take every ilm of her lover’s length. 

Soft blue light began to gather right above Rena’s chest—aether. Zero drew it out of the miqo’te with ease, as she was happy to relinquish as much as Zero wished to take. The gentle glow enveloped them. And Zero drank it up, as she suckled on her nipple, before sinking her teeth into the soft plumpness. Rena squeaked, yanking down on a strand of Zero’s hair. That earned her a growl, the vibrations from the sound making her shudder and whimper. 

Having taken what aether she wanted, Zero pressed the flat of her tongue against Rena’s breast and dragged it upward towards her nipple. She nibbled and nuzzled against the softness, slowly but surely picking up the speed of her thrusts. Her nails dug into the softness of her lover’s thigh, leaving behind dark red marks.

Once again, the room was filled with Rena’s sweet music. Her cries of pleasure urged Zero on. She stopped her ministrations to fully focus on ravishing the one she loved. They were both close; Rena could feel it. Zero’s member burned hot inside her, the heat raging with her own desire. But even in her delirious haze, Rena could sense that Zero was, once again, getting impatient. Her free hand dropped down to the miqo’te's other thigh. And then Zero lifted her leg so both of Rena’s knees were resting on her shoulders. The new angle allowed her to drive her member so deep, Renalei felt fit to burst. 

“Z-Zero…” Rena gasped, her breaths coming out short and hot. “Zero…”

The voidsent’s nails dug into her backside, drawing lines of red, as her silver gaze met Rena’s mismatched eyes. “Rena…” Her voice was quiet and somehow steady. “Cum for me.”

Zero drilled into her as hard and as far as she could go, the bed shaking beneath them. Rena saw stars, her head jerking back into the pillows as she let out an ear-splitting scream. There was no name this time—simply a cry of pleasure. As Rena was left reeling, Zero let out a low, guttural growl as she, too, hit her climax. As Rena rode through her own high, she felt it—the rush of heat as she was filled up with her lover’s seed. And then all grew quiet, save for their labored breathing. 

They stayed like that for a moment, as they slowly came down from their highs. Zero gently set the miqo’te down, letting go of her ass. But she didn’t pull out. Instead, she leaned down to press a soft kiss to her girlfriend’s lips. Rena mewled happily, throwing her arms around Zero’s neck and pulling her down into an embrace. Her tail tightened around the larger woman, as she wrapped her legs around her waist too. 

And for the first time in what felt like forever, Rena saw Zero smile. Her heart swelled.

Rena leaned up to kiss the tip of Zero’s nose. “Thank you… for loving me.”

Zero pressed her face into the crook of her neck—which made some of the bite marks hurt, but she decided to ignore it. “I don’t need thanks. I simply give back what you give me in return.” 

Rena laughed softly, closing her eyes and shaking her head. “Aye, I know… such is the way of voidsent.” 

They would take a brief reprieve, enjoying each other’s embrace. Then they returned to their lovemaking. And no one disturbed them.

Notes:

fun fact time! Septima means "seventh" in Ancient Roman. 7 is considered a lucky number, along with representing perfection. there are seven heavens and seven hells in FFXIV lore. Zero means a variety of things- "nothing", "beginnings", "infinite potential". symbolic names for foils, right?

i had a lot of fun with this, and can't wait to continue with my plans!