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It wasn’t like Stiles wasn’t having a good time at Jungle.
For the first time, he was getting hit on by hot people.According to Lydia, he had filled out rather nicely over the years and some people actually dig his ability to talk nonstop.
It was just that he didn’t really feel like being here.If it wasn’t for Scott’s incessant badgering at him to come hang with their old gang and actually live a little like a proper college sophomore, he’d still be playing call of duty at home all day long like he never had a social life to begin with.
The thing was that he felt off about all of this.The blinding florescent lights, the friction of skin contacts with strangers, the hazy fog out of nowhere, everything.
He had been feeling off ever since Derek made a not so grand come back.
Really, he didn’t know he was back until his shopping cart bumped into his at the frozen food isle.
Stiles didn’t recognize the teen in front of him at first, just that he looked familiar, familiar in a way that his heart missed a beat as hazel eyes met his.
A sense of Dejavu hit him hard in the gut.The face looked so much different from what he remembered, from what he thought what he would look like in his adolescent years, without the extra baby fat around his cheeks and the added inches to his height.
This Derek looked like he was going to shoot the next Calvin Klein campaign right after he finished shopping for groceries, not the Derek who used to jump him on his back whenever he got a chance to and demanded to be carried around.So of course Stiles wouldn’t recognize him.It had been what?Seven years?With zero form of contact whatsoever.Without even a damn goodbye.And no,Stiles wasn’t trying to sound bitter.(He totally was)He was merely stating a fact.
The way the teen blushed so furiously after seeing Stiles and a curse promptly fell through clenched teeth, proved that much.He immediately ran away with his imaginary tail between his legs, cart discarded.
Stiles was left freezing at the spot for quite a long time, just gawking at the retreating back of a now six feet tall Derek Hale.And why the hell would Derek run away like he just saw a ghost?Well, the fact that he left without even bothering to leave a note of goodbye seven years ago should probably clue him in.
Their accidental encounter kept replaying in his head over and over again for the rest of the day like some sort of old black and white Hollywood film.And also for the next three days, until he saw him at the coffee shop.Then he continue to find him at the gas station.The local park.On the street.Even at Deaton’s clinic where Scott worked at.It was like the universe was trying to pull them together, despite neither of them had made any attempts at opening their mouth and talk to each other.He even met Peter at some point at the police department and they exchanged a fairly friendly(awkward)greeting.
There was this impulsion in him to just latch onto him with a rope like some western cowboy and force him to talk but he always recoiled at last second.Given the way Derek always looked like he wanted the cracks on the floor to swallow him whole whenever he spot Stiles in eyesight, it was clear he didn’t want anything to do with him.
Stiles was left floundering inside.He had since been searching for an answer for Derek’s unannounced departure, had since been trying desperately to patch up that trench hole Derek left inside him.
But still if it was what Derek wanted then he would respect his decision.
Yet, it still took everything in him not to chase after him and wrap him up into a bone crushing hug cause this Derek-the Derek that returned looked like an empty shell, like he was sucked out of all the things that used to make him happy, engulfed by sorrows.The ever present furrow of brows was a dead giveaway.
Then again,Stiles guessed losing your family overnight when you sneaked out to find your best friend did that to you.
The fire that took away altogether six lives and a part of Derek went with it, away with the ashes that drifted in the burnt air.
It just hurt to see Derek like this.And who knows?Maybe someday Derek would stop avoiding him and Stiles would finally get a chance to catch him up on his life, just like old times, as long as he didn’t leave again.
And ain’t that just comical how they went from being best friends to Derek not even acknowledging Stiles’ presence at all?
Even to this day,Stiles still remembered the words he said when he chose to play as a knight to Derek’s prince in a play house Laura set up at the Hale backyard.That he would protect him forever, which, now, it seemed like he failed, catastrophically.
Then there was the time at the summer camp where Derek paid him a surprise visit at ass o’clock in his little wolf form and changed back in all his naked glory, thus, scared the shit out of Scott.The poor dude was literally clawing at their tent squeaking in fear to get out.Luckily Stiles had successfully talked him down and made him swear on his mother’s life that he wouldn’t tell a soul about Derek’s little fiasco.In the end, they shared a sleeping bag until morning sun rose and a very pissed off Talia came striding toward her delinquent of a son and a very amused Jacob picked Derek up.
Stiles truly, deeply, missed those times.He missed Derek.He missed having him by his side and those sweet dimples only reserved for him to see.
Now Stiles was in a club where he was suppose to leave all things behind his head and enjoy the rare night out with his gang and perhaps have a cliche one night stand with whoever he ended up going home with, but none of these can be achieved with his mind occupied by a certain teenage boy, perpetually telling him that this wasn’t what he wanted, that he should go home.And definitely should stop the blonde girl from smiling so flirtatiously at him and the pair of hands from roaming over the plain of his chest.
So when he deftly caught her wrist midway as she was hooking her fingers into his belt loops,tuggIng him to the direction that would eventually lead to a dingy bathroom, he flashed her an awkward smile and stammered an excuse to flee the scene.
The girl looked rather pissed to say the least.
Stiles left the club with a sigh of relief.
He had never felt so grateful to be able to leave a packed club.He decided to walk home since it was just two blocks away.Plus, he got to clear his mind a little with cold crispy air blowing at his face, even though he only had two rounds of tequila shots and a tumbler of god knows what alcohol that someone else in the club paid for him.It was nothing, really, seeing as he was still walking a straight line, at least he’d like to think he was.
It wasn’t until he finally reached his room he realized that he was probably, most definitely drunk as he was seeing, no, hallucinating a huge lump on his bed, a Derek sized lump, curled up, fetal style, sound asleep on his sheets.Even in his drunken hazed mind, this had reached some level of insanity.Good god Stiles, get a grip!
He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to shake this image away.But it was futile.Derek was still there.Still lying on his bedsheets.Still sleeping like a baby as if Stiles was the third person intruding on his dream.
Frustrated, he decided to roll with it.It’ll eventually go away right?
And honestly, Stiles was too tired to fight it.Personal hygiene could suck his ass for all he cared when all he wanted to do was to jump on his bed and sleep till the world ends.
Reality might made a cruel joke on him as he was met with a solid object and an agonizing groan was let out by said object as he fell on his bed.
The fucking lump-i mean-Derek was fucking real.
He wasn’t proud to say that he shrieked like a little girl and bounced right back on his feet like his body was caught on fire.His back hit the bookshelf with such momentum it knocked off some of his precious figurines.And now his back hurt like a bitch.Fucking fuck.
“Jesus fucking christ.Derek.What the fuck are you doing here?”Stiles cursed, bent over on himself with his hands supported on his knees, heaving heavily.If Stiles had never had a heart attack before, he sure as hell was having one now since he could literally hear his racing heartbeat with his own ears.
Derek yawned, wiping sleep from his eyes, “Nothing.Just wanted to check up on you.”He said with inordinate aloofness, voice raspy, stretching his limbs like a lazy cat who just woken up from his slumber.And check up on him?What kind of a lame excuse is that?Stiles definitely did not buy it.
He narrowed his eyes at him ever so skeptically.Derek was an unyielding force as he sat up, holding his gaze unflinchingly.
And now he dared to look him in the eyes?Well, two could play this game well.
He stood up straight and stood closer, looking down at Derek dead on, arms crossed over his chest like he meant business, fully intend to patronize him into come clean,“Derek, that might be the lamest excuse you could ever come up with.Seriously, what are you really doing here?And Breaking and entering?How you even get in here?”
“You know it’s not safe to leave your window unlocked when no one’s home.Bad people could easily get inside and steal all your batman collection.”Derek said matter of factly as if he wasn’t the one that sneaked into his room in he middle of night, taking over his bed as if it was his own.Freaking teenage kid.
“Hey, you’re the one that broke into my room.”Stiles backfired indignantly, voice went over an octave.Sidetracked by the deflection Derek just displayed.
Derek shrugged as if to say“what ya gonna do about it”.And it was true,Stiles couldn’t do a damn thing about it.It wasn’t like he would call 911 and shove his former best friend’s ass into his dad’s police car.It was Derek Hale we’re talking about here.And Stiles had always been weak for whatever shenanigan Derek pulled on him when they were little.Now wasn’t any less different.
“You know what, forget about it.But do tell me Derek.What are you really doing here?”
“Can’t sleep.So I thought you’d make good company.”
“Don’t bullshit me.I saw you were snoring just fine on my bed earlier.And last l knew, you weren’t exactly amped to see me around town.”Stiles pushed, rather bitterly.Seeing Derek flinched on himself, a swell of smugness blossomed in his chest.
Maybe he shouldn’t spit the last bit out.But you know when people say alcohol make you do bold things, say mad shits, though he doubted he was even that drunk, he doubted he was drunk at all when August night air blowing through open window gliding across his face felt like refresher to his mind, more sober with each cold air he breathed into his lungs, more aware of the teenager that had been plaguing his mind for the entirety of this summer holiday, sitting on his bed crosslegged, picking at his too long sleeves, even with only several streaks of moonlight to contribute in the darkness ,Stiles reckoned the shirt on Derek was one of his many band shirts.In fact, it was his favorite shirt from his favorite band he bought years ago.
Stiles’ heart fluttered.A stream of frizzling electric coursed through his veins.
But he couldn’t stop pushing, he had to get something out of Derek.Curiosity was eating him alive.And at this point he was willing to take whatever nonsense Derek threw at him.
“Derek.”
The room was eerily quiet, saved by the rumbling engine of passing vehicles to spare them the awkwardness.
Hands balled up into fists now.Stiles could feel the nervousness, alongside with anxiety wafting off of Derek in waves, like it was hard for him to admit his true intentions of coming here.Like he was embarrassed for whatever he was about to say.
Stiles was tempted to call it off, like forget it, it wasn’t worthy to make Derek uncomfortable at his place.He should just call it a night, send Derek home and sleep it off and-
“I had a nightmare and i’m-I was scared okay?And my wolf thought you’d keep us safe.Then next thing I knew,I was climbing through your window and your scent was all over and you-you smell like home.Goddamn you smell like fucking home to me.And I fucking fell asleep within ten seconds for the first time in seven years all thanks to you!”Derek snapped after an eternity of silence, irritation bled into his tone took Stiles by surprise.
Stiles could tell he was angry with his himself, with his answer, with the fact that he had to admit out loud he needed Stiles, with the sheer vulnerability he had just bared to him-an old friend he no longer had any connections to.
But it was also the confession that lit up the silver of hope in Stiles.Whatever resentment was still left there for Stiles to pick back up all dissipated as“You smell like home”rang in his head like an everlasting echo.
However, it was as if Derek finally realized the things he said, his shoulders hunched up in an instance like he was preparing himself for the inevitable doom of crash, a sheen of electric yellow glistening in those captivating hues.Stiles could almost see him battling on a fight or flight in his head through panicking eyes, as well as the moisture collected at the corner of his eyes.
He moved to stand up but Stiles was quicker.He simply pushed him back on his ass.His hand stilling on his shoulder.First body contact after seven years.And he was not willing to let go that fast.
“No.Don’t go.”Stiles rushed to say.
He took in the way Derek was looking at him with confusion written on his face.And as much as he tried to conceal his wariness, the way his body flinched as Stiles’s hand made connection to his shoulder betrayed that much.
Stiles’ chest tightened.It pained him to see the boy who once was the care free ray of sunshine turning into a bundle of nerves.
He knew what he had been through.He knew the feeling.Or at least, he thought he knew.
The nightmares, the panic attacks, the screaming in the middle of night and no one was there to hold you and comfort you.The way his mother’s death made him feel like a living corpse, just barely getting by everyday.As much as he knew he had his dad and Scott and Melisa, that they were there for him, they would never know what it was like to have someone you loved deeply die in front of you, thus, to live in that same nightmare over and over again till you ran out of air to breathe.
Stiles sometimes wondered if maybe Derek had stayed, would the pain lessen?Would he feel better with Derek by his side?Would they share the pain?If only had he stayed, he would find out.
The frown in those caterpillar eyebrows deepened with each second Stiles left the dead silence stretch between them.He wanted so much as to reach out and smooth the crease with his thumb.Like he used to whenever the boy’s moods would make them known through his talkative eyebrows.
Old habits die hard.He did just that.
Thumb ran gently over those lines at the slowest pace, he was savoring every second of it cause he didn’t know, god, he didn’t know if he ever would get to touch like this again.If he ever get to have him like this again.
Now both his hands were cupping Derek’s cheeks.They were surprisingly soft.And hot.
“I’m glad that you came to me.”Stiles said earnestly,“I really am.”He reiterated, hoping it conveyed just how much he meant it.
By the looks of it,Stiles thought the message was well received.Derek looked stunned.Doe eyes barely blinked.Staring at Stiles like he was some kind of eight wonder in the world.But to Stiles though,Derek is the eighth wonder.Derek was breathtaking.Derek was ethereal.Derek was-he was everything Stiles didn’t dare to touch but itched to reach out and feel the warmth underneath that pretty but cold exterior.
Tongue darted out to wet his lips.Hazel eyes now shone a light of determination.Derek was planning something.Something bold, something extravaganza.
Stiles’ heart sped up unaccountably.
What Stiles didn’t expect was for Derek to reach up and pull him down by the neck, sealing his mouth with a kiss.
Stiles was, to put it lightly, too shocked(in a good way)to move a muscle, even with the way Derek kept meeting his lips with curt kisses, trying to get a move out of him,Stiles was as stiff as a plank wood, bended in a way that made his back sore.
It wasn’t until Derek stopped kissing him and started to extract his arms wrapped around his neck did Stiles finally came back to himself.
The look of disappointment on Derek’s face was enough for Stiles to lunge forward without a care in the world and capture those luscious lips again like a mad man.
This time though, there were fireworks exploding behind his eyelids, a fucking marching band playing in his head, cheering on this.
Derek was the missing puzzle piece to his picture perfect life, yes, he had always known this.But it wasn’t until this very moment that everything felt complete, that everything felt whole again.
Next he knew, he was on top of Derek, assaulting his mouth with his, kissing him like he was on a mission, all sense of self control slipped away as soon as he got first taste of how sweet those lips were.Sucking and licking, he fought to take full control of the kiss, not even giving him a chance to catch a breath.Stiles would later blame it on the booze he indulged several hours ago as he snaked his hand under Derek’s shirt, well Stiles’s shirt to be exact, brushing against flaming hot skin.His hand kept going up north till he found one hard bud.Fingers flitting across it, the obscene sound Derek made was deafening to his ears.
They kept going on like this for a couple of minutes.It was Derek that finally broke their fervent make out.
“Need.To.Breathe.Sorry.”Derek panted like he just finished running a marathon, but not without a curve to his mouth that told him just how much he enjoyed it.
Stiles matched his panting.And smile.He was probably smiling like a goofball though,
“Whatever you say buddy.”
Rolling his eyes,Derek pushed Stiles away to the side, said with playful disdain on his face,“Go shower.You stink.”
“Hey, that’s not nice.”Stiles pouted as he lifted his arm to sniff at his shirt, which, yeah, Derek was right about that,“Fine.”He complied begrudgingly.
The shower took longer than it normally would.He knew how sensitive Derek’s wolfy nose was, so he scrubbed himself thoroughly, to the point his body turned reddish.
When he finally stepped out of the shower, dried himself up and changed into a clean graphic shirt and pajama bottoms, his feet felt heavy as his eyes landed on his reflection in the mirror.
He stood there in silence, taking in notice how swollen his lips were, a blatant indication of how passionate the kiss were.But it was also this that a dread, out of nowhere ,suddenly gloomed over him, sitting heavily in his stomach, a sudden fear found its way to climb up his throat, threatening to lurch.
Dark thoughts like the swell of a stormy ocean, started to whirl in his mind cause everything felt too perfect to be true.What if when he pushed open that door and Derek wasn’t there?What if Derek was just lonely and Stiles happened to be available?What if Derek regretted it?What if this was all just a dream and he was actually too drunk to make out what was real and the harsh reality was that Derek was never here and he never needed Stiles?What if…
A loud pang disrupted Stiles’ panic thoughts over spiraling what ifs.
“Stiles, are you okay?”It was Derek.Derek was still here.
Relief flowed through Stiles’s body at the concerning inquiry, he bolted to open the barrier that stood between them, launching himself at Derek without a word as soon as he saw him standing at the door with a worrisome look attached to his face, causing the teen to stumble back a few steps but thankfully he caught him.
All of a sudden,Stiles craved for the familiar heat, needing it, like fish need water.
“Stiles.What’s wrong?”
I thought this wasn’t real.I thought I never had you.
“Nothing.Let’s go to bed.”Stiles mumbled into Derek’s neck, arms clutched tighter around Derek’s waist.Even though he had no werewolf’s hyper smell, he could dimly detect the scent of pine trees after rain, of natural sweet aroma that had always been a part of Derek.Stiles wanted to cling onto this scent forever and never let go.
Derek nodded, albeit, hesitantly.
The two of them emerged to the bed.Stiles cuddling from behind Derek, face smushed into ebony hair, inhaling lingering scent of fresh shampoo Derek used before he went to bed and failed to fall asleep.Stiles thought it smelled like lavander.His hand kept drawing little circles over Derek’s flat stomach.It was truly a bless Derek wasn’t ticklish.
Everything felt so real at this moment.Derek was real.The heat radiating from him was real.Their adjoined breath was real.
Almost lulled to sleep by the presence of Derek in his arms, it was also Derek who broke the quiet night by whispering Stiles name,“Stiles?”
“Huh?”He blearily answered.
“What happened in the bathroom?Your heart was beating so much faster than usual.Did you-”Derek paused, voice came off as timid as ever,“Do you regret about before?About u-us?”Derek curled in a little more on himself, grasping at Stiles’ hand on his stomach like he was afraid if he let go,Stiles would evaporate into thin air.
But how could Derek think Stiles would regret about them when Derek might be the single best thing that ever happened to him?
Groaning into Derek’s hair,Stiles said,“No.I absolutely 100% do not regret about us, never had, never will.What happened was-fuck, this is going to sound real stupid-”Stiles turned to hide half of his face into the pillow, squeezing his eyes shut for the second time today, embarrassed,“I think I had a mild panic attack over there because I thought none of this was real.”
The other side of bed dipped with the shift of the other person.
“Tell me Stiles,”Stiles could feel a hand ghosting upon the side of his exposed cheek, gently brushing his face,“Is this real?”
Opening his eyes, there they were, eyes like kaleidoscope greeted him in the dark, it never ceased to amaze Stiles, even with the lights out and only moonlight that casted through open windows to help map out Derek’s features,Stiles could hereby swear those were the prettiest set of eyes he ever met.
“Yeah.”Stiles croaked, smiling softly.
Tugging his right arm out from under the quilt with his left, he threaded his fingers into his,“Is this real?”
Looking up at their interlocked fingers between them,Stiles couldn’t help but to burst out a laugh, yet, he held on tighter,“Yeah.”
Derek then scooted closer, pushing him onto his back.He sat up all of a sudden, leg swung over to straddle Stiles on the hips, leaning down into his space, dropping feather like pecks all over his face,“Is this real?”Derek said lowly, breath ghosting over his face.
“More than real.”
One smiley face made it hard to kiss, two smiley faces made it downright impossible to kiss properly.It was all dumb teeth clashing onto each other.
Soon enough,Derek relented, resorted to bury his nose into Stiles neck.
Having Derek’s weight on him felt like a reassurance.Stiles wouldn’t want to change it any other way.
“Tomorrow lunch at pop’s?I’ll even order you as many cheese burgers as you want.”
Derek hummed in contemplation,“Like old times?”
“Yeah, like old times.”
Neither of them made any attempts to speak until sleep finally took over them.And they slept like that, with Derek lying sluggishly on top of Stile, clung onto him like a giant octopus.And by next morning, surely the two of them would groan in agonizing pain.Well, mostly Stiles would.
Neither of them saw a strung out John Stilinski pushing open his son’s bedroom door to check up on him even though he was already a 20 year old adult and the belated realization that a Derek Hale was in bed with his son was clearly too much of a information for him to process with a sleep deprived head.So he pinched his nose bridge and left.God was he exhausted to work night shift.
And Neither of them was prepared for the pending interrogation John was about to unleash at them when morning came.