Chapter Text
“I do not understand you.”
I blinked. Well, that wasn’t what I expected. “Which part?”
“All of it.” Ferdinand had one finger pressed to his temple. “Why are you pushing this printing venture of yours at such an unreasonable pace? Why sell the idea rather than the product? How are you even able to envision something that has never been made before in your mind? It baffles.” He closed his eyes and looked like he was in pain.
I wondered if he would ever show so much expression with our attendants and knights not turned around to face the wall. I murmured the blessing for healing and watched the sparkles race to his head and circle in a halo before absorbing into his skin.
He looked startled at the consideration.
“I want a world full of books.”
He stared at me in incomprehension.
I took a slow breath, then, a fortifying sip of tea. “Please forgive my candour, Ferdinand, but if you really wish to understand how I think, you are missing a vast amount of information.”
Ferdinand stared at me, then, he took a bracing sip of vize and sat forward on his chair with his elbows on his knees. “Forgive me for my candour,” he parroted her, “but I would know anything you may be willing to share with me.” His eyes scanned my face. “I find you… baffling. Intriguing. Fascinating. I feel as though we could spend the rest of our lives together, and I would never be without a challenge or mystery to solve.”
I could not help but flush, fully across my face and down my neck. I took a bashful sip of tea. Then, I cleared my throat. “I have the memories of an adult woman from another world.”
There. It was out. I’d finally told somebody.
Ferdinand stared at her in a processing error for nearly half a minute of anxiety inducing silence. Then, he nodded. “That explains how you were able to so quickly come up with trends and tools never seen before.” His eyes narrowed slightly. “Why, though, has this only come to light in the last year? Why did you not share these innovations before?”
I sighed and stared down at my tea. Then, I let my noble mask drop and looked at him. I let all the conflicted despair within me surface. “This world is horrible.”
Ferdinand’s expression turned shocked.
Once the words had escaped me, I couldn’t stop the flow. It was like a door under pressure had blown open. Until the pressure equalized, I couldn’t close it. “Everyone here is cold and uncaring. My own parents pretended I didn’t exist. No affection. No love. The food is bland. I have no friends my own age who aren’t thinking about what me or my position can do for them. The only comfort I had was my precious books. The gods heard my dying prayer and let me spend this life in a glorious library if only I learned to close my face and my heart, speak a certain way, and master a social [minefield] that I had no experience with in my previous world where people didn’t poison or assassinate their enemies. Everyone here is cutthroat and out for their own interests. No one does anything nice without an ulterior motive. There’s always a price.” Ferdinand froze in panicky horror as tears began to pour down my face. I couldn’t stop them. “I’ve had to compromise my morals to survive. To meet my one goal. To make this horrible prison safe. If this world is so shitty, then the only way I can bear to continue living in it is to fill it with books!” I found I was shouting and sobbing by the end of it, but I couldn’t keep the pieces together anymore.
Then, to my shock, Ferdinand stood from his chair and came around the table with haste to dab the tears from my face with his handkerchief. Then, he pulled me into a firm Gyu and rubbed my back while petting the hair on the top of my head. He planted a very inappropriate kiss on the top of my head for the second time, and I couldn’t help but absorb the affection and physical contact like a plant starved of water and nutrients.
“How old were you when you died?” he murmured softly into my hair.
“22. But, the years were shorter, so… Jurgenschmidt 18.”
He snorted. “No wonder you act too old for your age. You are older than me.”
I rubbed my face against the soft fabrics of the understated clothing he had worn into the commoner’s district. It was soft against my cheek. I breathed deeply, and the scent of Ferdinand’s Rinsham — a woodsy, earthy smell — filled my nose. A scent that suited a man so in love with potion making and experimentation.
“What… are these morals that you feel you have compromised?”
I sniffed. “I… my old world was very different than this one. We were encouraged as children to be good, polite, and kind. We helped each other, and there were no factions. Just small kid drama. And the books. Thousands upon thousands of books… I never would have run out of books in the public library like I did in this castle.” I buried my face in my future husband’s firm chest while his arms tightened further around me. “You were my shining light. All those books. A love of knowledge that no one else in this shitty duchy seems to share. You research, you’re brilliant, and you… you were so kind to me, in your own way. I felt safe with you… well, except that time you tried to threaten to take away the Royal Academy library for no reason when I hadn’t even failed you yet. But, we worked that out. Every relationship has a few bumps… so they say.”
His arms tightened. “Does that mean… that you did not tie your star with another in that life?”
“No. I was married to my books. I wanted to be a librarian. But now, I’ll have to have two more husbands to help me manage the duchy, and the country I came from, Japan… well, monogamy was the standard.” I sighed and relaxed even more into his embrace, beginning to get sleepy. “But then, they didn’t have mana and foundations and the wealth of the land to deal with.” I shuddered. “I don’t know if I can let more than one man untie my hair. The thought still makes me uncomfortable, and it’s been 12 years since I woke up here.” Jurgenschmidt 31 on the inside, and a child ruler on the outside. To think I was only three years into my schooling…
Ferdinand pulled back, and reluctantly, I let him withdraw. He healed my eyes and gently, he took my sad cheeks into his fingers in a pinch and pulled them up slightly. “What must I do to put more smiles on your face, my future Goddess of Light?”
I blinked at him and flushed. What was with the pinching? I liked the feeling of his mana against my skin, however, so I didn’t protest. “Hm?”
Ferdinand’s eyes were so close. They glowed the slightest bit with mana. When had he leaned over me? “You have no idea how relieved I am to know your true age. I fear I have been struggling to see you as a child for some time.” He leaned forward and planted a kiss on my forehead. Then, he stopped the gentle pinching to hold my warm cheeks with his palms while his thumbs pet my warm skin gently.
My mana flared under my skin, and it was only experience and determination that allowed me to compress it back under control. I stared at Ferdinand with wide eyes.
“I will help you however I can with whatever your dreams may be, Rozemyne. I will be your Erwachlehren, your Anhaltung, or your Angriff. You need only ask.”
——— Ferdinand ———
As I spoke the words, I knew them to be truth. I had lost my way with Sylvester’s death, and so I had gone where Steiferise blew me. I did not contest Rozemyne’s unapologetic takeover as Aub. When Bonifatius came to me to ask why I had not taken up the aubship as steward until she had finished school, I had told him to trust Rozemyne — to trust the force of nature that was her vengeance — as I did. When I felt myself battered around in the great blizzard that was her exacting revenge, cleaning house, and solidifying her power base, I had been in awe of the utter differences between her and her father. She had stood strong. She already looked 15, which had made it difficult of late for me to keep my eyes firmly within the realms of Bluanfah.
She was the natural choice. A goal. A precious treasure to cherish. A reason to live after the promise that I had made to my father had turned into a feystone from a knight getting past our guard and had thrown a strange powdered substance on the Aub while I had been elsewhere.
Her eyes glistened with tears and love for me as she stared up at me. I was not sure she realized she was still so transparent in her emotions, but I memorized the look.
No one had ever looked at me like that before.
I kissed her next on the cheek. I dared not push further. She was physically 12 and mentally 31, but I had three years left to wait until our stars could be tied and her hair untied.
I forced myself to withdraw to a safer distance after I kissed her forehead and watched Bluanfah dance in her eyes for me. I took her hands gently in my own. “You are not alone, now. Please share your burdens with me.”
Rozemyne smiled tearfully at me and nodded. Why was she crying again? I dabbed the tears away with my thumbs. “O-okay.”
“Good.” I looked over her face and memorized its beauty. “Tell me. What are your greatest desires, that I might know them and grant them to you?”
Bluanfah danced in Rozemyne’s heart once more, and I found the colour did much to bring out her eyes and glistening, dark blue hair. “Ferdinand… will you help me fill this world with books? Will you… make me feel loved again?”
“Yes.” I did not have to think. The answer was obvious.
She smiled and nodded as she squeezed my hands. “It’s a promise.”
Later that night, in the privacy of my own hidden room, I licked the salty sweetness from my thumbs and closed my eyes with a groan. Our mana was already so compatible. The synchronization potion in our future would hardly have much work to do at all.
——— Rozemyne ———
Things went more smoothly after I told Ferdinand my secret. Or perhaps, it was just that a weight had been lifted from my shoulders and I now felt like every task was lighter. Easier. I made plans with my entourage with regard to the coming tea parties and socialization at the Royal Academy. We strategized the best way to catch Drewanchel’s attention — with a proposed joint project for this year and next. Ferdinand easily parted with a magic tool that he had considered developing but had never put any significant effort into. If we could get around the mana drain, then it would make it easier and more affordable for all nobles to own ice boxes to store things within. As it was right now, these tools were extremely heavy, large, and cumbersome. The idea Ferdinand had would allow one to fit more inside for less weight and size. He could not figure out how to make it cost less mana, however.
Their only obstacle was the fact that Adophine, the current archduke candidate and fiancée to Prince Sigiswald, was more interested in fashion and beauty than research.
We had a few other projects lined up as well in case that one didn’t make Drewanchel bite. It was key for my plans to promote the printing press to get a greater duchy on my side, and the duchy of innovation seemed like the best bet. They had even wanted to adopt Ferdinand when he was in school.
In order to win over Adolphine, I planned to invite her to a private viewing and sampling of the latest beauty trends and products from Ehrenfest. Reports said she could be quite selfish and unreasonable when irritated, but that the rest of the time she wasn’t a particularly difficult person to get along with.
As long as you didn’t irritate her.
Her brother Ortwin seemed like an easier win. He was a researcher at heart. I planned to capture his attention with the innovation of new technology and products developing in Ehrenfest. My hope was that he would become curious enough that when I suggested a joint project, he would want to use it as an opportunity to spy and know more.
I didn’t like the unknowns inherent in this plan, but if it didn’t work out with Drewanchel, then I would just have to use ditter to snag the ditter obsessers. Through Ferdinand, this were the only old ties I had to work with. Father had made himself no connections while he was at school. No, Ferdinand had confessed to me during planning that Father had been known primarily for his efforts to win Florencia.
I sighed and massages my temples as I looked down at the papers that represented my 5-year plan.
There was too much to get done in too short of an amount of time. ‘Perhaps Ferdinand was right. Should I scale all this back a year?’
Doubt filled my heart, but my bottom line wasn’t to make money. I could do that with the beauty lines and restaurant. No, I just wanted this world to have more books, and more affordable ones at that.
The doubt clawed at me because — what if Jurgenschmidt didn’t believe how lucrative printing would be without proof?
I had been taught not to take chances. I had been taught to plan and move when the time was most fortuitous. I was not taught to move forward with a half baked plan and hope for the best.
‘What am I doing?’
Was the stress getting to me?
I pushed away the papers and turned to Ottilie, another one of my attendants. “Please have a warm bath prepared in my room along with a light, sweet snack and something cold to drink.”
She nodded and departed immediately as Rihyarda automatically began to switch out my tea for a fresh cup.
I turned to Friderick, one of my more competent archnoble scholars, formerly of the neutral faction and now firmly in my own camp, and gestured to the papers. “Please send these to Ferdinand so that he may serve as my Anhaltung.”
“Yes, Aub.”
I left for my rooms. I would relax there until the bath was ready for me. It was late enough that I didn’t want to bother with any more work in my office tonight.
As I went to my rooms, another retainer, Victoria, appeared with a letter. “Lady Florencia had requested to speak with you in three days time, Aub.”
‘Finally.’ It had been four days since Father’s funeral, and I was due back at the Royal Academy in five. I was beginning to think Mother would never come out of her mourning to talk to me about her future. “Prepare a tea party with the latest experimental desserts from Othmar Company. Our own chefs are not yet at the consistency I am looking for.” They were improving under the guidance of Othmar Company’s chefs, but they were not yet up to my standard.
My personal chefs were already sufficient with my new recipes, but the castle ones… less so. Regardless, my personal chefs had been left at school to feed my large entourage.
I felt bad for Charlotte and worse for Melchior. She had the youngest retainers because there were simply so few left untaken, and Melchior would have hardly anyone.
As I relaxed in my warm bath, I wondered how Charlotte and my many retainers were doing in my absence.
I frowned. As Aub, it was my job now to consider how to raise our performance as a duchy to match our ranking that came from a technicality. There were many duchies that resented us for being promoted for being neutral during the civil war. I would be instigating and funding more student led research projects this year, but our grades as a duchy could be much better.
I tapped my chin and gave it some thought.
‘You know, it may not be a bad idea to reach the entire curriculum in advance of the Royal Academy, just like Ferdinand is doing for me. Could I put him in charge of a school project? Or would that overload him? I was still acting as High Bishop in name only, and he had not yet fully trained his own replacement.
“Ottilie. I have the Winter Dedication tomorrow, is that correct?”
“Yes, Aub.”
I nodded. “Please have the High Bishop’s quarters tidied, as I will spend a short time reading there during my visit.”
“Understood.”
I still had not finished reading the entire High Bishop bible. I couldn’t take it from the temple, but the key I had chosen to store in my hidden room. It seemed silly to leave it to a blue or grey priest, even if they couldn't read it.
I definitely wasn’t procrastinating all my problems by doing something else… nope.
————
The Dedication went smoothly, but I couldn’t help but eye with judgement the meagre amount of mana that came from the blue priests who lived here.
There weren’t enough of them, but we also didn’t have enough nobles. Our knights were operating understaffed.
We needed to find more devouring commoners to have adopted into noble families.
Perhaps I would put the word out? Did commoners even know what the devouring was? I knew from temple records that the devouring babies that appeared at the temple were usually sold off by Bezewanst, but I thought that was a waste. I could have it disseminated as a rumour. ‘If your child has these symptoms, they could survive by becoming a blue priest.’ Then, it would be easy enough to have them adopted straight out of the temple or never become a blue priest at all and go straight to noble.
I could also teach the blue priests my compression methods, but then, I would have to teach my own people first.
That was an idea. A good way to increase the strength of our duchy as a whole.
I pondered. I… would give everyone step one through three, but only my own people would get four to six. I would need a country wide contract to ensure that the information wasn’t leaked at the Royal Academy. Duchy contracts were only good within our borders, after all.
‘I’ll announce it before everyone goes home at the end of winter and all the academy students are back.’
Plan made, I glanced over at Ferdinand to see how he was doing and frowned at the sweat on his face. Was he running out of mana?
I stopped the flow of my mana, and he let out a sigh of relief. The chalices weren’t quite full yet, however. “Let us take our potions and finish this today.”
He nodded and downed a potion. I took one as well. While we waited for them to work, I hummed to myself in thought.
“Ferdinand, would you like mana?”
He frowned and then cast me a sideways glance. It was only us in this room, as only priests and priestesses could be here. “Why do you ask?”
“Well, I’ve decided to teach the entire duchy the first three steps to my compression method as part of my Raise Ehrenfest plans, and all those close to me up to six, but… you’re my future First Husband. Do you want all nine? I fear if I keep compressing as my vessel grows for the next three years, we may no longer be able to have children.”
He stared at me.
‘Processing error again?’
This processing error lasted much longer than any I had seen from him before.