Chapter Text
Eventually Alisaie had to emerge from the cooling bath. Her limbs felt weak and shaky, as if she'd been ill for days, and her skin was still fevered from far more than the heat of the bath. Her clit was so sensitive that every step made her aware of flesh rubbing against flesh, her whole body throbbing in protest and need.
It wasn't fair. Alisaie was not used to failing at anything, let alone a physical challenge. She'd trained her body to be highly responsive to her commands, and prided herself on her control of it. Of course there were people who were better than her - the Warrior of Light sprang immediately to mind - but when her only opponent was herself, she was accustomed to finding victory, not defeat.
But defeated was exactly how she felt. Beaten down and hopeless for a better outcome, no matter how many times she tried. Groaning, Alisaie flopped face first onto the bed, not even bothering to dry off. All she wanted was to stay as still and quiet as possible until her body stopped tormenting her, demanding something she apparently could not give it.
She stirred enough to lift a hand to her ear and activate her linkpearl, setting it to a private channel with Y'shtola. "You might as well go home," she told her comrade, unable to hide the misery in her voice. "I'm not going anywhere for a while."
"That doesn't sound like the exhaustion of a satisfying ending," Y'shtola noted, and Alisaie could picture her raised eyebrow.
"I give up." Despondent, Alisaie hugged a pillow to her chest, wrapping herself around it as if she could stuff it inside her body to fill the aching emptiness. "I can't do it. Maybe my body's not mature enough yet, or something. I'll try again when I start growing properly." And resist the temptation to torture herself in the meantime, whenever her body taunted her with whispered promises of pleasure.
Y'shtola didn't answer for a long moment, and Alisaie wondered if the other woman had simply cut the connection and gone home as suggested. The last thing Alisaie expected was a knock on the door a few minutes later, and she jerked in startlement against her pillow.
"May I come in?" Y'shtola asked, and her tone implied she wasn't going to accept 'no' as an answer.
The thought of moving to get under the covers made Alisaie groan and curl tighter around the pillow. It was too much effort to contemplate, and her skin was still so hyper-sensitive, the sheet against it would only torture her further. Unfortunately, she had a feeling Y'shtola would happily stand right there in the hallway and discuss the matter with her through the door, for anyone to overhear.
Choosing the lesser of embarrassments, Alisaie sighed and raised her voice. "I'm not decent, but yes, fine, whatever." They were both women, Alisaie had nothing Y'shtola had not seen before.
The older woman slipped inside and closed the door quickly, preventing anyone from possibly getting a glimpse of Alisaie lying there naked. Then she approached the bed, footfalls soft, expression gentle and sympathetic. "Did you follow my advice?" she asked.
"I swear it," Alisaie groaned. "And I tried to relax, really I did, but I just can't get there, and it's so frustrating!"
"Are you at least getting closer with each attempt?" Y'shtola asked, taking a seat at the foot of the bed. Her hand came out to rest on Alisaie's ankle, as if understanding Alisaie could not bear any further touch in more sensitive areas right now, even her hands and arms.
"Yes, but that just makes it worse," Alisaie complained. "Everything gets so over-sensitive and it takes me even longer to recover after. I can hardly move right now without my body throbbing, even still."
Y'shtola closed her eyes and tipped her head to the side, contemplating. When she opened them again, she raised an eyebrow at Alisaie. "Would you be willing to let me see what you're doing?"
"Y-you mean... have you sit there and watch me?" The words came out as a squeak, and more heat pulsed through Alisaie, further exacerbating the arousal that refused to dissipate. The memory of her fantasy last night came rushing back in full, vivid colour. Of Y'shtola doing just that... and then doing more than watching, far more.
Something of her thoughts must have shown on her face, because Y'shtola's smirk made an appearance, and there was a hint of responding heat in her eyes. "I can't think what else to try. As I said, making specific suggestions from my own preferences is as like to frustrate you further as get you anywhere, but mayhap if I see what's happening when you're struggling at the end, I can think of a solution to offer."
The first time Alisaie tried to answer, nothing emerged. She cleared her throat, and finally managed to get words out, though she sounded husky even to her own ears. "If you're willing to go that far, I won't say no."
Pulling her feet up to sit cross-legged at the foot of the bed, Y'shtola regarded her with apparent solemnity. "Very well. Let's see it."
"Right now?" Alisaie shook her head. "I'm still too sensitive."
"Because you’re still on the edge, and that's the best time to do it," Y'shtola insisted. "Start slow anyway, but at least you're beginning from a point as far along the process as possible."
"The toys are over by the bath," Alisaie said, and moved to rise so as to retrieve them.
Y'shtola waved her back down. "Try without them, for now. I want to see what you instinctively attempt to do, to get there."
Biting her lip, Alisaie sank back down again. Her breath came faster at the thought of spreading her legs and wantonly displaying herself for Y'shtola's perusal, but it wasn't fear or even embarrassment that caused the reaction.
Alisaie pushed the pillow aside, then shifted onto her back, pulling her feet towards her ass so her knees were raised, spread apart enough for her pussy to be visible.
Y'shtola watched, pale eyes sharp but unjudging, as Alisaie reached down to finger herself. Belatedly it occurred to Alisaie that she probably should have started elsewhere, as Y'shtola kept telling her to, but once she started she couldn't bear to stop. She did at least drag her hand away from her clit, playing with her nether lips instead, dipping her fingers in and out, toying with her entrance.
Still Y'shtola regarded her unwaveringly, ears still and expression calm... yet Alisaie wondered if she was imagining the growing heat in the other woman's eyes.
Being so exposed made her feel bold, as if nothing else she could say or do would be more embarrassing than this already was. "Are you attracted to women?" Alisaie asked, breathless.
Y'shtola blinked, and allowed herself a small smirk. "Miqo'te as a race are not known for caring overmuch about the gender of our partners. The women of the tribes will oft satisfy one another when the Nunh is elsewise occupied. So yes, I find women quite lovely and luscious."
The way she lingered over the last words, with her eyes so firmly on Alisaie, wrenched a trembling moan from Alisaie's chest. She plunged her fingers a little deeper, working them in and out, hips rocking into the motion. "Does watching me do this make you aroused?"
"Oh, yes." Y'shtola's eyes went half-lidded, and her tone was very nearly a true purr. "I was getting curious looks from passing Miqo'te out there, probably wondering what was arousing me so about sitting alone at a table having lunch, but I couldn't take my mind off what you were doing."
Alisaie blew out a hard breath and arched into her touch, trembling. "Gods, why is that thought so hot?" she panted, overcome.
"If you think that's enticing, imagine what I was doing last night," Y'shtola countered, her tail swishing lazily across the blanket. "I was quite absorbed by the thought of what you were up to, just a few doors down. I thoroughly satisfied myself, imagining it."
"Unfair," Alisaie accused, breathless. "I didn't get any satisfaction." Though she was certainly growing more and more aroused by the mental image now. "I thought of you," she confessed shyly. "Wished you had stayed."
"I'm flattered." Y'shtola smiled. "And now? Are you imagining watching me do that to myself, just as I am watching you now?" Moaning, Alisaie nodded, and Y'shtola looked smug. "Would it help to see it?"
"Now?" Alisaie asked, her voice cracking. Her fingers stilled against her throbbing flesh, she was so astonished by the offer. "You would do that?"
In answer, Y'shtola rose up onto her knees, then hiked her skirts up until Alisaie could see the dark, silky panties beneath. Y'shtola hooked two fingers in the top edge of the smallclothes and pulled them down to her knees, then shifted to sit back so she could remove them entirely. Leaving the skirts flipped up, she spread her legs as well so Alisaie could see the soft white curls at the apex of her thighs.
They were neatly trimmed, and in fact shaved entirely at the sides, creating a tidy strip down her pelvis that drew attention down to her glistening pussy. Why hadn't Alisaie ever thought to do something like that? She lost her breath entirely as Y'shtola slid two fingers through the curls and down, then brought that hand to her mouth, delicately lapping at the thick liquid now coating the flesh.
"Oh, gods." The words came out as a faint moan, and Alisaie's whole body clenched with aching need as she watched that slick pink tongue dart over the digits. And again, when Y'shtola returned her hand to slowly circle her clit, not quite touching.
"I'm setting a bad example for you," Y'shtola admitted, and the heat showing in her eyes carried into her voice, turning it husky as well. "I should be doing more to work up to it, but I don't need to, right now. And I think, close as you already are, you'd just get too impatient."
"Another time?" Alisaie asked longingly. Then she blushed as she realized she was implying this would happen again, when all Y'shtola had offered her was one-time help learning to get herself off.
But Y'shtola didn't seem disconcerted by the request. Indeed, her smirk only widened. "Mayhap. Concentrate on this time, first. Focus on the feelings in your body. Are you wet? Aching? Tense? Shivering? Think about every touch you give your pussy, especially your clit. Let yourself be aware of every sensation."
The sound of her voice was nearly hypnotic, and Alisaie obeyed the commands eagerly. She focused as ordered on each separate glide of her fingertips against her clit - because she was rubbing herself again without being aware of when she'd started, the motions frantic and forceful. Meanwhile Y'shtola stroked herself lazily, in no particular rush, clearly meant to display herself to Alisaie more than to actually get herself off.
Breathing hard, Alisaie struggled to relax into the sensations, but the fight to do so only made her tense up all the more. Her legs started to shake with the effort, and she forcibly stilled them, only for her hips to buck up out of her control. It was overwhelming, too much too much too much...
Unable to bear another moment, Alisaie pulled her hand away with a cry. "I can't! I can't do it, I can't take anymore!"
Sighing, Y'shtola stilled her fingers as well, though she did not pull away. She regarded Alisaie steadily. "Aha. I believe I see where the problem lies. You're afraid of it, so you resist it."
"Afraid? Why would I be afraid of something everyone swears is the best thing I'll ever experience?" Alisaie demanded, stung by what felt like an accusation of cowardice.
Y'shtola shook her head, and rephrased. "You are afraid of the loss of control, which is a necessary part of the process. You're so determined to be in command of your body, you're stopping exactly when you most need to push harder."
"I can't," Alisaie repeated, despairing. "It's too much." It was still too much, even the caress of air over heated flesh more than she could bear. This was the worst it had ever been, her body so overheated and overworked she couldn't move for fear of torturing herself with it.
Y'shtola tipped her head. "I believe we may have come back around to what I initially said was a bad idea - to try to get there the first time with a partner. Someone who can push you that little bit farther than you're willing to go yourself. But also someone who is experienced enough to recognize your limit if you do hit it, and whom you trust utterly. Would you allow me to try?"
Alisaie's eyes flicked down to where Y'shtola's hand still rested over her glistening mound, then back up to meet her friend's blank gaze. "You'd do that?" she asked again, the words coming out as a cracked whisper. "What if it turns out the key to my getting off is needing someone else to finish it? What if I can't do it without you, because you're the one who got me there first?"
Was this a single offer, or would this be repeated, was what she really asked.
Y'shtola seemed to understand the underlying question. She smirked again, and tapped her chin with her other fist. "My, what a hardship that would be for me. Having a gorgeous young woman insistent that I provide her with orgasms. Whatever would I do?" She sighed, overdramatic. "I suppose, for the good of the team, I'd have to accede to the demands."
A smile crept over Alisaie's lips as well, despite her ongoing frustration. She hadn't realized Y'shtola had such a playful side to her. It was delightful, and enticing. "I can be very demanding," she pointed out, as if offering a true warning.
"So can I," Y'shtola replied, eyes gleaming. Removing her hand at last, she rose to knees on all fours, crawling up the length of the bed until she hovered over Alisaie, their bodies a scant ilm apart. "May I?"
"I... I really don't think I can take any more right now," Alisaie said, desperate not to actually turn down the offer but terrified of the results if she said 'yes' right now.
"I know," Y'shtola said, placid gaze locked on Alisaie. "If you truly, utterly cannot bear any further touch, then you must say 'stop'. Just that, and I will obey immediately. But anything else, no matter the cry or protest or attempt to push me away, I shall not heed. Do you understand?"
Swallowing hard, Alisaie nodded. Knowing she had a way to stop things was enough, and Y'shtola was probably right that she'd protest even if she didn't actually mean it, from sheer overwhelm.
"Say the word now," Y'shtola commanded. "I want to hear it from you, so I know you will remember it."
"Stop," Alisaie whispered, chest heaving as she panted for air, as if her body tried to close the distance between them.
"Good girl." Y'shtola smiled at her, and it was not a patronizing or motherly smile, despite the words she chose. It was heated and eager, and it made Alisaie's breath catch in her chest as Y'shtola bent her head to seal their mouths together.
It was glorious and desperate, and oh gods Y'shtola knew exactly what she was doing with her tongue. There was a rough texture to the surface of it, making Alisaie extra aware of every spot the other woman licked. Though her incisors were nowhere near the size of a Keeper's fangs, still they had a certain sharpness to them that scraped delightfully over Alisaie's lower lip.
She moaned and thrashed, and Y'shtola's hands slid to cover hers, then to pin her wrists to the bed. Using leverage and weight more than strength, Y'shtola held Alisaie's arms down as she kissed Alisaie into insensibility.
Alisaie wasn't sure she liked the feeling of being restrained, but she had to concede it was probably wise. The way she was already fraying apart at the seams, she might end up lashing out without meaning to. Especially when Y'shtola broke the kiss to trail her mouth down over Alisaie's throat, nipping and nibbling at the pulse point, before continuing lower still.
When Y'shtola took one tightly furled nipple into her mouth and curled her rough tongue around the peak, Alisaie shouted loud enough to test the soundproofing spells. It felt even better than when Tesleen had done the same, whether because Y'shtola was more experienced or just because Alisaie was more worked up to start with.
Her hips jerked up, trying to get friction against her clit, but Y'shtola knelt just above her, knees wedged between Alisaie's, forcing her legs apart. There was nothing for her to grind against. Moaning with need, Alisaie instinctively tried to reach down, but of course was brought up short by Y'shtola's grip on her wrists. Belatedly, she realized the hold was not to protect Y'shtola from her thrashing, but to keep Alisaie from rushing things again.
"Y'shtola," Alisaie moaned, tossing her head against the pillow. "Please, gods. You're killing me."
"Impatience is half your problem," Y'shtola reminded her. "It will be worth it, I promise."
It was already worth it, honestly. As frustrating as the inability to get off was, the pleasure Y'shtola offered her was still amazing in and of itself. If nothing came of this but that Y'shtola would occasionally indulge Alisaie this way, it would still be amazing.
Assuming she didn't die of frustration first.
Y'shtola seemed in no rush to move on from lavishing attention on Alisaie's breasts, first one, then the other, and back and forth again. Only when Alisaie was gasping for air and moaning a steady string of pleas did Y'shtola finally change her focus. She kissed her way down, over Alisaie's abdomen shifting until she was lying on the bed between Alisaie's legs.
When Alisaie realized what the other woman intended, a deeper moan was wrenched from her. She'd heard of such intimate kissing, but had never tried it, either giving or receiving. There had been very little privacy at Journey's Head, so she and Tesleen had always been rushed and mostly clothed, either using their hands or just grinding on each other.
Finally Y'shtola released her hands. Now that she could use them, Alisaie didn't know what to do with them, so they fluttered uselessly at her sides. Y'shtola urged her to raise her hips off the bed, then slid another pillow beneath her bottom, leaving her tilted up. Alisaie understood why when the angle made it easier for Y'shtola to nuzzle into the short curls between Alisaie's thighs, tongue licking out to seek the heated flesh hidden within.
Alisaie shouted again when Y'shtola's tongue reached its goal, slipping between her labia to delicately lap at the slick fluid that coated her there. The tiny little flicks and barely there licks did nothing but tease Alisaie farther, but when she tried to jerk her hips up to get more pressure, Y'shtola predicted the movement and went with her, denying her attempt.
Worse, though she licked and sucked and curled her tongue deeper and deeper, she deliberately avoided Alisaie's throbbing clit. At one point Y'shtola even thrust her tongue inside Alisaie, spearing as deep as she could.
Just when Alisaie thought she would lose her mind entirely, Y'shtola flattened her tongue against Alisaie's pussy and licked up the center, flicking over her clit at last.
It was perfect and too much and not enough all at the same time, somehow. Alisaie cried out and writhed and bucked her hips, frantic and overwhelmed. Her hands found purchase at last, gripped tight in Y'shtola's hair. She alternated between urging the older woman closer, and struggling to push her away, her body's conflicting signals driving her mad.
"I can't," Alisaie panted when Y'shtola narrowed in on her clit, wrapping her coarse tongue around the sensitive nub just as she'd done with Alisaie's nipples. She screamed when Y'shtola sucked briefly. "I can't, I can't. It's too much. Y'shtola!"
There was no response from her partner, not so much as the briefest hesitation. If anything, Y'shtola seemed to take the protests as encouragement, tonguing her harder.
"I can't!" Alisaie repeated, the words emerging on a sob as tears rolled slowly over her cheeks. Her eyes were open, but she wasn't seeing anything, all of her focus turned within her to the impossibly overwhelming sensations Y'shtola evoked. "Please. Please, no more. Oh gods, no more, I can't!"
Yet despite her desperation, despite her babbled pleas, Alisaie did not once say the word that would actually put a halt to the proceedings. She didn't want it to stop, even though she really, truly did not think she could stand one more second without flying into pieces. She needed the outlet of being able to protest, while also knowing she could do so safely without fear that Y'shtola would listen.
Her legs shook, then her whole body, and her protests and pleas grew so incoherent, even Alisaie didn't truly know whether she was begging the woman to ease off, or press harder. Y'shtola clearly believed it was the latter, and when she thrust her fingers deep within Alisaie's body, it made her inner muscles clench in objection.
Then they clenched again, and again, and again and again and again, and Alisaie was screaming, the sound torn from her throat as the ecstasy overwhelmed her entirely. It was amazing, perfect, beautiful; everything her body had been begging for so desperately, and more. Any hope of controlling herself was long gone, and she finally understood why she'd been failing.
Reaching orgasm was not her victory over her body's needs; it was her body's victory over her. Losing a battle had never been so glorious.
Alisaie honestly might have blacked out for a moment or two, or at least lost all track of the world around her. When she came back to herself she was sprawled wantonly over the bed, chest heaving as she panted for air, hands still clenched in Y'shtola's hair.
The other woman had crawled back up to nuzzle at Alisaie's throat, and straddled one of Alisaie's thighs with both of hers. Alisaie could feel slick flesh moving against her as Y'shtola rocked her hips, pleasuring herself on Alisaie's body, drawing deep, rough purrs from her throat. The sound was even better than a moan, and Alisaie went breathless again as she watched.
Ere it could occur to her that she ought to do something more active to ensure her partner's satisfaction, Y'shtola shuddered and cried out with obvious pleasure, grinding down hard for a few last thrusts. Then Y'shtola subsided, panting as well, her eyes half-lidded and ears canted low, smiling as smugly as the proverbial coeurl in cream.
"There now," Y'shtola purred. "That's much better, isn't it."
"Oh gods, yes," Alisaie moaned, her voice a hoarse rasp after all that screaming. Face going red, she devoutly hoped the soundproofing spells on the room were very good. Her body was languid and limp, pleasure still coursing through her in sweet pulses, and the tormenting sense of aching emptiness was satisfied at last.
Y'shtola kissed her briefly, then shifted to lie curled up beside her, head next to Alisaie's on the pillow. She stroked one hand over Alisaie's stomach in a soothing motion, not straying too close to breasts or pussy. Alisaie had the vague notion that she ought to turn and cuddle the Miqo'te as well, but could not make herself move.
"Thank you," she sighed out, as her eyes fluttered closed despite her best attempts to keep them open. She was so exhausted after all that unending tension, and the long sleepless nights.
"It was very much my pleasure," Y'shtola replied, chuckling. "Feel free to seek my help any time you require an extra hand in the future, but I hope this will allow you to find satisfaction yourself, as well."
"I think so," Alisaie agreed, the words a sleepy mumble. "I guess we'll find out." And even if she still struggled on her own, now she knew she could at least find release with Y'shtola.
No victory had ever felt sweeter.