Chapter Text
Buck despised hospitals. He’d been in them more times than he could count, so he’d like to say he was well enough informed to have an opinion on them. He hated how confusing waking up in them was. He hated the drugs that made him nauseous and panicky and just… fucking terrified. Buck could hear the faint beeping of machines, which only worsened his headache. It felt like someone was smashing a hammer into the side of his head, over and over again. Everything else felt fuzzy and his throat burned when he tried to swallow.
“Ev?” a voice asked, the worry in the tone painfully obvious. “Buck, c’mon, open your eyes.”
As much as he didn’t want to – he’d learned from experience how much hospital lighting tended to make a concussion feel a million times worse – but whoever was asking him sounded so desperate, so scared. Buck couldn’t help but listen to them.
He slowly opened his eyes again, prepared to slam them shut if needed, but found that the lighting in the dim room was tolerable. Glancing to the side, he couldn’t help but smile softly at who was sitting next to him.
Jake.
His boyfriend looked awful, a mix of exhausted and stressed, but he was still somehow as beautiful as always.
“Hey,” he greeted weakly.
Jake let out a sigh of relief, a weight visibly lifting off of his shoulders. The familiar green eyes Buck loved so much were filled with concern, but at least they weren’t quite as anxious as they’d been before.
“Shit, Stitch,” he murmured, gently brushing a hand through Buck’s hair. “Don’t do that again.”
“I had to do it,” he said apologetically, causing Jake to pause for a moment before leaning forward to kiss him softly.
Somehow, the tiny gesture made Buck feel infinitely better.
“I know you did,” Jake replied with a sigh.
“Maverick and Roo?”
The memory of the missile speeding towards their jet caused a sick feeling in Buck’s gut and he forced it down as he patiently waited for Jake’s response.
“They’re fine,” Jake assured him. “Thanks to you. Maybe try staying out of more trouble than Mav next time, huh?”
“Can’t make any promises,” Buck replied, cracking a smile.
Sure, sacrificing himself probably hadn’t been his smartest idea. But he couldn’t just let Mav and Rooster die. It hadn’t been an option. He regretted it in the sense that he had worried Jake – and probably everyone else – but he would do it a million times over if it meant they all made it home alive.
Although it hurt his split lip, he at least managed to get a small, choked laugh out of Jake.
“What am I gonna do with you?” he asked, shaking his head before pressing a tender kiss to Buck’s temple.
Despite the fact that he’d only been awake for a few minutes, Buck could already feel his eyes fluttering shut. He tried to force them open, but Jake simply continued carding a hand through his hair, lulling him into unconsciousness.
“Stay?” he murmured as he finally accepted defeat and allowed his eyes to close.
“Always.”
______________________________________________________________________________
The second Jake stepped out of the room, Buck regretted telling him he could go. Bobby, Maddie, and Eddie had stopped by, supposedly to check in on him, and Buck had, for whatever reason, decided to convince his boyfriend that he could go.
That Buck would be fine with the 118. Alone.
He blamed the concussion.
On the bright side, Jake hadn’t really seemed to buy his assurances that he’d be fine, so he’d informed them all – while glaring daggers at Bobby and Eddie – that he’d be back in five minutes.
Five minutes. Buck could handle five minutes, right?
“So,” Bobby began as the three of them all hesitantly sat down in the chairs surrounding Buck’s bed. “How are you feeling?”
“Bit better, I guess,” Buck replied with a shrug.
A concussion, four cracked ribs, internal bleeding, a fractured collarbone, and a few dozen bruises didn’t exactly make for an easy recovery.
“You had us really worried,” Maddie said softly. “Just… leaving like that.”
“It wasn’t exactly my choice,” Buck shot back.
Even if they hadn’t run him out of town, it wasn’t like he could just ignore orders from the Navy. Not showing up at Top Gun would’ve been considered deserting. Besides, with how everyone had been acting in LA, there weren't many reasons Buck had to keep him in the city.
Honestly, the only thing Buck wanted at the moment was for them to leave. He wanted Jake back. He wanted to go home, back to their tiny little apartment on base, and he wanted to hide in their bed, in Jake’s arms, so that he didn’t have to deal with the pain anymore. But once again, what Buck wanted was never the priority.
“We’re sorry,” Eddie suddenly explained. “What we did… it wasn’t– it wasn’t fair. And I know it was shitty of us but–”
Eddie paused for a moment, taking a breath and seemingly trying to think over what he wanted to say.
“It wasn’t because of you. What we did. Everything we did was on us. I just… I never dealt with my own shit after Shannon and I took it out on you,” he told Buck, looking far more ashamed than Buck had ever seen him. “And that wasn’t fair, it wasn’t right, but I did it anyway. But none of it was because of you. It was never because of you.”
A month ago, those words had been all Buck wanted to hear. A month ago, he would’ve easily accepted them and moved on. But now…
Now, he just couldn’t.
“You seemed to make it pretty clear that it was,” Buck retorted quietly before glancing over at Bobby.
“The reason I stopped you from coming back wasn’t because I didn’t trust you,” Bobby confessed. “I… I did it to protect you.”
“But I never asked you to do that!” Buck snapped.
“I know,” Bobby agreed, the look on his face a cross between pain and guilt. “But I couldn’t handle losing another kid and I figured that was the best way to keep you safe. I never should’ve done it but by the time I realized that… you were already gone.”
So, maybe Bobby had done it with the best of intentions in mind. Buck couldn’t deny the fact that knowing
why
Bobby had kept him off the team made him feel just a tiny bit better; he’d never had a father-figure that actually bothered trying to protect him. But still, he’d gone about it in the wrong way.
And just like always, Buck had gotten hurt in the process.
“Buck, we know that there’s nothing we can do to make up for what happened but… is there any way you could forgive us?” Eddie asked hesitantly.
“We just want you to come home, kid,” Bobby added.
That was the problem. Home wasn’t a place anymore. It never had been. Home was sitting at the piano in the Hard Deck with Bradley. Home was playing football on the beach with Nat. Home was flying with Maverick.
Home was curling up in bed with Jake, feeling more loved and safe than he’d ever been in his whole life.
“I forgive you,” Buck said, feeling slightly guilty when he saw how relieved the three of them looked. “But LA… I don’t think it’s home anymore.”
And just as quickly, their faces fell. Maddie looked crushed and just as Eddie opened his mouth to say something, the door opened and Jake stepped back inside.
Time was up.
______________________________________________________________________________
“Here we go,” Bradley said as he unlocked the door to the house and dropped Buck’s duffle bag by the bottom of the stairs. “Home sweet home.”
Meanwhile, Jake was busy trying to make sure Buck didn’t fall going up the two steps outside the front door.
“Careful,” Jake reminded him and Buck gently smacked his arm away.
“I’m fine,” he insisted.
After all, his leg had miraculously made it out of the accident mostly unscathed. With the exception of the bumps and bruises that covered pretty much his entire body, his leg was fine.
“Kiddo, no offense, but you’d manage to fall up those steps on a good day,” Maverick said.
Please, he wasn’t that clumsy. He’d never so much as tripped going up those stairs.
Okay, so he’d never tripped more than once going up those stairs.
“How is it you guys have no food in this house?” Nat called from the kitchen.
“We have food,” Jake argued and Buck snorted in amusement.
Jake wasn’t exactly the best cook. Seriously, he was almost as bad as Eddie. The man’s idea of having food in a kitchen consisted of anything that didn’t have to be cooked.
“You bring home your injured boyfriend that’s been in the hospital for a week and have nothing to feed him?” Phoenix retorted.
“Anything’s gotta be better than hospital food,” Buck reminded them.
Because that stuff was actually cruel and unusual punishment.
“He’s not wrong there,” Bob pointed out.
Sighing, Rooster pulled out his phone and scrolled through it.
“I’ll tell Payback and Fanboy to get some stuff on their way here,” he said.
After the mission, they’d all been given two months leave. Whether Buck would be returning to the Navy after those two months or not was still up in the air, but at least he had a while to figure everything out.
Plus, two months with his boyfriend where neither of them had anywhere to be sounded pretty good to him.
Bradley and Nat started arguing in the kitchen over what to make for dinner as Bob and Mav went outback to start up the grill and Buck couldn’t help but smile.
“What’s so funny?” Jake asked.
“Nothing,” Buck replied, before tugging Jake forward to pull him in for a kiss. “Just happy to be home.”
______________________________________________________________________________
One Year Later
“Buck!” Christopher yelled, the only warning Buck got before the boy slammed into him, shortly followed by Omaha’s son, Theo and Harvard’s daughter, Lily.
“Hey, kiddo,” Buck greeted, ruffling his hair as he tugged him into a hug.
“I’m not as good as Buck, am I?” Jake joked.
“Nope,” Chris replied firmly and Buck’s boyfriend pressed a hand to his heart, faking his offense.
Much to everyone’s surprise – even Buck’s if he was being honest – Jake was surprisingly good with kids. Which, of course, was no help to Buck. Sure, he looked adorable every time he played with Chris or Theo or read a book to Lily, but then Buck would be stuck spending all day thinking about what Jake would be like as a dad.
What Jake would look like with their kid.
Which, while he wanted one, it just wasn’t the right time. So, for now, Buck would have to be content with watching him with other people’s kids.
“I see you two finally decided to show up,” Mav called from where he was standing with Ice, manning the grill.
“Well, you know traffic,” Jake said in way of an explanation.
Or maybe they’d been late because they hadn’t wanted to get out of bed but… that wasn’t exactly information that needed to be shared with everyone.
Mav and Ice’s backyard was practically filled to the brim, considering the fact that it had a dozen daggers plus their various family members. They’d decided to have a party since it had been over a year since their original mission, the one that had brought them all together. Although it was hard to believe it, especially considering how they’d all acted at the start of their detachment, everyone had grown incredibly close. Of course, that was mostly to do with the fact that they’d been made into a permanent squadron, all stationed at Lemoore together.
A squadron that, unfortunately, didn’t include Buck. After spending weeks debating what to do and consulting basically everyone he knew, he’d decided to accept the honorable discharge the Navy had offered him. His leg wasn’t as sound as it should be for flying and frankly, he didn’t have the nerves to go up in a jet again. Every time he thought about it, he couldn’t get the image of Bradley and Maverick about to die out of his head. Or Phoenix’s screams as they went down. Or the way the cold ocean had drawn every bit of strength out of him as he did his best to stay afloat.
Jake had, of course, been nothing but supportive over his decision.
He’d been slightly less supportive when Buck announced he wanted to go back to the 118.
Buck had spent months after the mission considering what he wanted to do when he finally realized he had to go back to the 118. He needed closure. He needed to make sure he could still be a firefighter, even if he couldn’t be a pilot. And while they weren’t where they were before the lawsuit, Buck and the rest of the team finally trusted one another again, and were hopefully on their way to having an even stronger relationship than they did before. The 118 would never be the same to Buck, too much had happened for that, but he knew one day he could see them as a family again. Perhaps not in the same way the Daggers were his family, but somewhere along those lines.
It wasn’t perfect at the station all the time, but it was close to it. Eddie had finally gone to therapy and was doing far, far better. Plus, Coyote had introduced him to his sister, Lucy, and Buck had a feeling there was something going on there. Bobby had been trying his best to focus on being Buck’s captain instead of letting his own emotions get in the way, and so far, it was working. Chim and Hen were usually the ones who kept the two of them in line, although these days, they never really needed to.
“How have you been, kid?” Ice greeted him with a hug as Jake and him crossed the yard.
“I’m good, Pops,” Buck replied with a smirk.
After Mav and Bradley had both informed Jake that Ice was actually the one who was Pops – which for some reason weirdly made sense – the Daggers that were closer to the two older pilots had started calling the men by their appropriate titles. Some days, it was a joke. Other days, well… other days, Buck meant it a little more.
“Eddie was saying you guys might have to go down to Texas to help with the wildfires?” Mav asked, a hint of concern in his voice.
“It’s looking like it,” Buck replied as Jake handed him a beer. “They just can’t get it under control.”
“Plus, what kind of boyfriend would he be if he let my home state burn?” Jake quipped.
The commotion on the other side of the yard drew Buck’s attention and he looked over to see the kids racing over to the newly arrived Rooster and Phoenix. Ice and Mav headed over, having finished up cooking a majority of the food, leaving Buck and Jake alone for the most part.
“So, Texas, huh?” Jake asked.
Buck had already mentioned the 118 might have to head down there to fight fires, but at the time, it had been mostly hypothetical. Now, it was looking more and more like reality. He knew Jake was worried, judging by the tell-tale sign of the way he bit his lip.
“It’ll be fine,” he assured him.
“See, you say that now, and then you’ll wind up getting hurt,” Jake told him. “Again.”
“Will it help if I promise I won’t?” Buck joked.
Jake laughed — and God, did Buck love that laugh – before shaking his head.
“Darlin’, I love you, but any promises you make to not get hurt mean jack shit,” he replied.
Buck pouted for a moment, smiling once Jake had caved and pulled him into a hug, pressing a kiss to his forehead. The familiar scent of a mixture of cologne, coffee, and jet fuel flooded Buck’s senses and he couldn’t help but lean into his boyfriend a little more, relishing the feeling of home the man carried. To Buck, it was the safest place in the world.
“What am I gonna do with you, huh?” Jake teased, the way he often did when Buck managed to get hurt. Again.
Coming from anyone else, those words would’ve sounded frustrated. Annoyed. But coming from Jake, they contained nothing but love. After all, Jake was the one he wanted to go home to every night. Jake was the one whose smile made Buck’s heart melt, whose laugh was the greatest sound in the world. He was the one who couldn’t cook to save his life, who had awful taste in country music, who got up obscenely early in the morning even on the weekend. But Buck loved him anyway. Jake was the one who made Buck feel like he finally had a place to belong.
Which was why, before Buck even registered what he was doing, the words came tumbling out of his mouth.
“Marry me.”
Jake froze for a moment and Buck just stood there, honestly stunned at himself. He hadn’t meant to say that. Really, he hadn’t. But once again, he’d been impulsive. Except it wasn’t really impulsive. How could saying the one question he’d been wanting to ask for months be impulsive?
His boyfriend released him, backing out of the hug so that his piercing green eyes could meet Buck’s own blue ones.
“What?” Jake asked, his voice somewhat faint.
“Marry me,” Buck repeated.
For one terrifying moment, he thought he’d gotten it wrong. That maybe Jake didn’t feel the same way he did. But of course, Jake proved him wrong. Before Buck could say anything else, he surged forward, grabbing Buck again and kissing him fiercely. Time seemed to stand still and it felt like they were back on the carrier right before the mission, like they were the only two people in the world.
Per usual, they were interrupted once several Daggers started wolf-whistling.
Jake pulled back eventually, not even bothering to look sheepish. Buck, however, was blushing.
“You didn’t give me an answer, you know,” he pointed out. “You wanna marry me or what?”
Jake laughed, tugging him closer for another brief kiss to shut him up.
“That good enough for you?” he teased.
“Maybe just one more,” Buck replied with a grin.
So Jake pulled him back one more time, pressing a kiss to his lips. And standing there in Ice and Mav’s backyard, surrounded by everyone he loved, in the arms of the man he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, Buck was home.
And this time, he wasn’t going anywhere.
Once I get you up there
Where the air is rarefied
We'll just glide
Starry eyed
Once I get you up there
I'll be holding you so very near
You might even hear
A gang of angels cheer just because we're together